4 minute read

Let’s talk Met Gala Karl

The first Monday in May brings along one of the most exclusive events of the year, the Superbowl for fashion lovers if you will- it is the Met Gala. This year’s theme was truly a disgrace. Although he is an icon in the fashion industry, Karl Lagerfeld was too problematic to be made the theme of such an auspicious event. And anyway, if we are meant to be respecting and honouring the dead, at least respect that this fatphobic, racist, misogynistic, Islamophobic, and overall bigot of a man would have hated most of the guests anyway, so why disrespect him by making him the theme?

Enough about him, on to better things, namely the fashion. I will preface this by saying that I am no fashion expert but I am a hater so let us commence. Firstly, the protest(ish) fashion: the pink, the cats, and the knee socks. Lagerfeld is notorious for hating the colour pink, saying, “Think pink but, don’t wear it.” So, in true subtle protest fashion, celebrities showed up in their best, brightest pink. To Viola Davis, Quannah Chasinghorse, Grace Elizabeth, and especially Harvey Guillèn: Karl would have hated it, and that is iconic. On to Jared Leto, who decided to cosplay Lagerfeld’s beloved cat: what you wore (and what you always wear) was a hate crime but Karl would have despised it, and it is fine. But next time just be like the rest of your kind and wear a black suit. To the other feline in the room, Doja Cat: stunning dress, but an ode to the cat was not necessary. Can Pedro Pascal ever disappoint? No, I do not think so. Decked out in a short with knee socks and his leg hair on display. Lagerfeld is rolling over in his grave as we speak- he hated men’s long socks and visible leg hair.

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On to the pretty part, the best dressed section. For this part the Lagerfeld hate will be paused because a celebrity following the theme and being best dressed should be honoured, despite the controversy. The women dressed by Chanel did not miss. Dua Lipa in her white vintage Chanel gown wowed the crowd. Nicole Kidman and Gisele Bündchen made a self-reference by re-wearing Chanel looks that Lagerfeld had designed for them. Anne Hathaway was giving Mother in her Versace tweed safety pin gown. Generally, couples on the red carpet disappointed because they prove the “She looks beautiful... and he’s there” right, but three couples proved this wrong as both partners looked beautiful. These couples are Rita Ora and Taika Waititi, Gabrielle Union and Dwayne Wade, and Rihanna with Travis Scott (who were late, but Rihanna put the fashion in fashionably late, so anything she does is acceptable). Before the top four best dressed are announced, some honourable mentions: Burna Boy in Burberry, Halle Bailey in Gucci, Gigi Hadid in Givenchy, and bare- headed Florence Pugh in Valentino. I only have one word- slay. Now, in fourth place, Michaela Coel in Schiaparelli- WOW there are no words. In third place, Brian Tyree Henry in Karl Lagerfeld, not a fan of the designer, but he ventured away from a classic black suit, and he served a look to be remembered. In second place, the woman who couldn’t miss even if she tried, Anok Yai in Prabel Gurung, an absolute Goddess. In first place (although controversial), Jeremy Pope in Balmain. The larger-than-life Karl Lagerfeld cape is not great, but a blind eye can be turned because HE SERVED A LOOK and that cannot be denied.

Now for the hate. The worst dressed celebs. Starting off strong with the Kardashian/Jenner clan. Kendall, I know we all say that you never give anything but that doesn’t mean that you should be giving “You’ve been Krissed.” Kylie with her usual tight fitting, high slit dress- this is the Met Gala, there is a theme, please follow it. And the same goes for Kimberly in the pearls. The disappointment that comes around every year, Anna Wintour. This event is organised and run by her, and yet, she forms part of the worst dressed list every year. The bedazzled cheeks of Lil Nas X are next on the menu. Sir, please be serious, we are tired. White boy of the month, dressed in a long trench coat and a bucket hat, Pete Davidson. You look like you are about to pickpocket me, start dressing on theme or stop coming. “Excuse me, waiter”, oops, I mean Rami Malek. A boring, simple black suit will have been better than what you wore. Speaking about black suits, every man who wore a black suit: pull it together, you are at the Met Gala. And lastly, to all the nepo babies, you never fail to disappoint. With all those resources and status, please do better.

This year’s theme, like every theme in the last five years has proved that nothing will ever compare to the Heavenly Bodies theme of 2018. This year’s theme specifically was a huge disappointment because of the obvious elephant in the room. Maybe if the queen of the Met, Blake Lively, had shown up, then it could have been slightly redeemed, but we are not that lucky. Maybe next year will be better but, knowing Anna Wintour, most likely not. I will wait in anticipation with nothing but judgement and opinions that no one cares about until the first Monday in May of 2024.

Gesoek

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