Permission to write, september 2017, installment no 2 by Permission To Write

DATE 09/29/17

Featuring: Candace Freeman, Nicole Miller, Najya Williams, and more.

au·to·mat·ic writ·ing

Installment No. 2

Learning to write from your spirit with Ka’Lyn Coghill

EXPLORING SEASONS WITH LUCY DAZILMA

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WHO WE ARE Our goal is to cultivate the craft of independent writers of color, give them space to create, a platform to amplify their voices, and a community to support their journey. We want to help readers find their new favorite writer and help writers grow and find new audiences for their work.

THIS ISSUE

FEATURED WRITERS

Writing is a process. This we all know. But it takes some time to find the

CANDACE FREEMAN

process that works for us. Everyone’s process will be different, but it’s im-

NICOLE MILLER

portant to respect it either way. KENDRA MIMS-APPLEWHITE In this issue, we’ll expore process in various different ways with inter-

CORRISA PETERSON

views, stories, and insight from a few writers and creatives.

NAJYA WILLIAMS

Welcome to Permission to Write.

Twitter: @permtowrite

#327

Instagram: @permissiontowrite

Bala Cynwyd, PA 19004

Email : hello@permissiontowrite.com Web :

www.permissiontowrite.com

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PAGE OF CONTENTS INTRO 06

EDITOR’S LETTER Ashley Coleman discusses the journey.

MEET THE TEAM Team work makes the dream work and we don’t work without them!

SPECIAL FEATURES 08

MORNING PAGES There is nothing like morning journaling, check out these prompts from JaQuette Gilbert.

AUTHOR SPOTLIGHT W/ LUCY DAZILMA For the 20-something in bloom, Dazilma created the ultimate guide.

SPREADING GOOD THOUGHTS WITH EBONE MCCLOUD The idea was sparked in a friend’s studio and years later a business was in bloom.

THE JOURNEY TO SELF-CARE WITH AMBER JANAE

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au·to·mat·ic writ·ing What comes out when we learn to write without inhibition? Ka’Lyn Coghill takes us through the process.

SISTAH GIRLS BOOK CLUB: LOVE BELVIN Sharee Hereford interviews fiction writer Love Belvin.

PTW PICK & RECENT RELEASES A less than exhaustive list of books that should indeed be on your shelves!

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PROCESSING SINGLENESS “I make my way to the bar stool and pain hits my heart.”

SOMEWHERE IN BETWEEN “His tosses me a wink, as a small grin spreads across his handsome face.”

UMA CAIPIRINHA POR FAVOR “One drink. She was a woman by herself downtown; she needed to keep her wits about her.”

A CONVERSATION “I want to make you figure out a puzzle that can never be completed.”

THE PIECES “She had wanted to end it that night but he begged her not to go.”

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EDITOR’S LETTER “Respect the process.” We hear it all the time, but we are utterly and completely disrespectful to the process if we’re honest with ourselves. We want everything we’ve ever wanted or dreamed and we want it right now. But that’s not how life works. And as much as we know it, we ignore the fact that most times we’re never quite as ready as we might have thought. Everything happens in the timing that it’s supposed to happen. We hate to hear it. But I look back at my life and realize that most of the time, I would have ruined that thing that I was hoping for if I received it in my own timing. As writers, I think it’s time we get used to the idea that our careers are marathons, not sprints. Okay, so if you get the book deal at 21, how the hell do you think you will sustain a long-term career? Not saying this hasn’t happened for people, but stay with me here. I want you to understand that a career takes a lifetime to build. Stop rushing it. If I’m not talking to you, I’ll talk to myself a bit. I had to learn that I am not yet the best writer that I will be. So everything, every moment, every accepted or rejected pitch is about that journey. That process. I want to honor that. I want to look back multiple books in and say, wow, what a beautiful road it was to get here. We have to be gentle with ourselves. We have to learn how to take our time. We have to learn to honor the process. In everything that we do. Process is this big term that means a series of steps to get to an end. Why would we push so hard for the ending instead of learning how to live in the moment of each step? When we get “there,” wherever there is for us, there will be nowhere left to go. It’s not just about our careers either. It’s respecting the process of grief, of healing, of coming into our own, of sadness, of joy. So often we rush ourselves, but there is something that happens in the process, both the good and the bad, that prepares us for that end. Prepares us for that moment of flight. I don’t know about you, but I want to savor the moments. I want to live in my right now. I want to relish in my becoming. I want to truly learn what it means to respect the process. I hope this issue will help you in that journey as well.

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF @writelaughdream

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Meet the Team!

TELYSE BEE

GABRIELLE HICKMON

Submissions Editor @fabulouslyslow

Submissions Editor @gabgotti

TAMIKA BURGESS

JAQUETTE GILBERT

Special Features @tameeksb

Special Features @mrsjpgilbert

BREA FINNEY Submissions Editor @BitsofBre_

LANESHIA LAMB Special Features/Social @laneshialamb

KAâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;LYN COGHILL

EDIE KING

Managing Editor @asapbookworm

Project Manager @edierenee724

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MORNING PAGES There is something to be said about the ability to capture your first thoughts in the morning. In this section, you will find journaling prompts for you to utilize in your writing time.

“Excellence is a continuous process and not an accident.” -Abdul Kalam

Michael Jordan, and Aretha Franklin make success look effortless. Yet, I am not fooled.

It’s September and early autumn temperatures surround me. As I reflect on the seasonal changes in progress, I am compelled to consider what changes I need to make in my writing.

I know it took more than one poem for Nikki Giovanni to be considered brilliant. Michael Jordan did not become a household name because of an occasional sweet jumper. It even took Aretha more than one phenomenal performance to earn the title, “Queen of Soul.”

I have goals and I have dreams, but I know my daily habits will determine if I obtain any of my desires. Learning to accept my writing journey in all its uniqueness isn’t always easy. On the surface, people like Nikki Giovanni,

I am learning that every writer and creative must endure the process before achieving a desired outcome. You and I are no different.

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We cannot fall in love with the outcome and disregard the process. The process is what shapes our writing skills, character, and mindset.

produce well executed writing pieces, it is essential to follow a documented process. Doing so will help us achieve our long-term and shortterm writing goals.

I took the plunge into public writing a few years ago. My initial high lasted for nearly a year. Once I decided to take my public writing more seriously, however, a shift occurred. I questioned my ability to write well. High school and college compositions were one thing, but I was ready to be in the major league. I wanted a larger reader base, and I had no clue what I was doing wrong.

Being a writer is not easy. It’s more than scribbling ink on a page. Being a writer takes courage, tenacity, and a willing heart to respect the journey. It also requires patience, vulnerability, and intentional use of an unparalleled plan to achieve one’s aspirations.

Almost three years later, I realize my error: I didn’t respect the process.

Written by: JaQuette Gilbert

The truth is, we live in a microwave generation. We are conditioned to think instant mashed potatoes and microwaveable pot roast are the best; they’re not. Anyone who’s ever consumed mashed potatoes and pot roast from scratch would agree, I’m sure. The same truth is applicable to writers. We cannot expect Nikki Giovanni results if we haven’t put in the work. That is simply unrealistic. Every day, I am assured my process doesn’t have to mirror anyone else’s; neither does yours. We can embrace the uniqueness of our journey and be confident that our experiences have a purpose. Not only is our journey unique, but so is the method we use to create new writing pieces. I used to fly by the seat of my pants when it came to cranking out new writing pieces. I later realized I needed a process. I needed a documented blueprint for completing writing tasks. Process is defined as “a systematic series of actions directed to some end.” If any writer wants to achieve their writing aspirations and consistently

Morning Pages Writing Prompts: What are your writing aspirations? What does your writing process look like when youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re creating a new piece? What signs indicate you need to adjust your writing process? What have you been unrealistic about in your writing journey? What helps you embrace the uniqueness of your writing journey?

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SUBMISSIONS

PROCESSING SINGLENESS Written by Nicole Miller | @strgtower7 Photo: PTW Essay

I walk in from the rain and glance inside the trendy restaurant to the table by the window. It’s surprisingly busy for a weekday. I’m playing hookie from work and I wonder what the heck everyone else is doing. Instead of seeing the black couple engaging in conversation, I see my friend sitting across from me sometime last year. A fellow single woman in her mid 30s with brown hair and a kind heart. It was spring and we talked about the summer and what kind of outfits would flatter her pear-shaped figure. I offered my services because, for some reason, turning 30 made me a fashionista. Then we moved on to men. Where were they? I make my way to the bar stool and pain hits my heart. It is a year later and I still feel the pain of that conversation. Our longing. This waiting. To my left, I see a table where I sat earlier this winter. A different woman sat across from me. This one with light skin and curly hair. Gorgeous. I encouraged her to wait on God. I shared the promises He gave. So many promises. “Maybe God wants you to put Him in the place of that man”, I say. She raises her sad-filled eyes at me. “But you did that…” the rest was implied. I did that and I did not receive the promise.

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I finally make it to that bar stool. Who knew a short walk could feel like eternity? Memories have a habit of doing that, getting you lost in a space without time and a world without rules. Who made these rules anyway? Who made the rules that women outnumber men and black educated women past 30 have lesser options than their Caucasian counterparts? A young blond smiles at me and hands me a menu. I’m ordering for one. I peruse it but it isn’t long until I notice the brown-skinned brother behind the bar checking me out. It’s probably the dreads. I get so much attention with these faux-locs. Sure enough he makes small talk with me as I work my way through a sweet potato and black bean burger. I make up for the healthy choice with a side of fries and a nice cold beer. By the end of that lunch I’m walking alone out of the restaurant. Brown-skin never asked me for my number. I didn’t really want him to. There are many who have asked and some I have given but it has all amounted to the same: they are not qualified. Are my standards too high? I don’t think so. In one conversation I had recently the young man asked me what college did I go to? When I told him two different schools he then asked which one did I graduate from? I shared that I had graduated from both. It wasn’t even worth mentioning that I had a graduate degree in addition to an undergrad degree. He was 15 years my younger. That conversation ended quickly. I’ll take a man that can text full sentences and include appropriate punctuation marks anyday. I’ll take a man who does not send the same, “Hi beautiful” message to the masses in the hopes that one out of ten will engage him and ultimately lay him onto their mattress springs for an evening. It’s been 12 years. I haven’t done this path perfectly but I have made it this far. I have resisted the urge to settle. I am resisting the urge to settle. And so are the women around me. When I don’t have the strength to be on my knees there are those on their knees for me. When I can’t hope and dream for more than what I have seen there are people hoping for me. And so I live my life. I walked out the door of the trendy restaurant that day, opened my umbrella and hid from the rain. Life brings rain, but there is shelter from it. I have found shelter in my community, in my passions, in my accomplishments, in my faith. I have found peace in the quiet. In the manifestation of so many other desires. I have learned wholeness and abundance in the midst of lack. Every day I learn this lesson. Every day I choose to move forward and enjoy the gifts that I have been given. I keep moving because of all that God has done and all that He has accomplished within me. Certainly there is nothing too hard for Him. Not even a man that would be qualified to lead me. Maybe I should wait to revisit that particular restaurant until I meet him. There seem to be too many sad memories there.

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SUBMISSIONS

SOMEWHERE IN BETWEEN Written by Kendra Mims-Applewhite | @kymwrites Book Excerpt I hear Jimmy’s laugh from across the room as I leave the ladies bathroom. His eyes scan the dessert café until they find me. He tosses me a wink, as a small grin spreads across his handsome face. I return his smile, although my stomach won’t stop turning cartwheels as I make my way toward him. My eyes search the room to find the reason behind his hearty laughter until they land on a petite woman with a short pixie haircut – the kind that only a beautiful face can pull off. As I waddle over to Jimmy, I feel my extra 45 pounds of weight more than ever. My cotton t-shirt clings to my sweaty skin, and for the first time during my pregnancy, I am embarrassed of my protruding belly and how fat I look in comparison to the brownskinned shapely beauty who is making my husband laugh as if he’s at a comedy club instead of a dessert shop. Before I make it to the counter, she’s already gone. I wish Jimmy’s smile would also disappear. I don’t ask any questions until we are in the car headed back home. “Who was that? It looked like someone you knew.” He clears his throat. “Just someone I went to high school with.”

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“So, you haven’t seen her in a long time?” “Nope, it’s been about ten years or so.” “Small world.” I pause, waiting for him to elaborate because I don’t want to come off as the jealous wife. His silence forces me to continue. “She seemed nice. What’s her name?” “Tamara.” “Oh.” I bite my lip and look out the window. Jimmy – the man who never loses his cool – drums his fingers against the steering wheel, creating an uncomfortable tune. “The Tamara?” I finally say. He glances at me and frowns. “What’s that supposed to mean?” “The one you grew up with and dated until you went off to college. The only serious girlfriend you had before you met me.” “That’s her.” “I thought she moved out of the country.” “She did. I haven’t heard from her since she left.” “You mean since she left you?” I blurt out. His frown deepens. “Yup, since then…” We drive in silence for a while before I ask the question I fear the most. Ever since I learned about their history and how their relationship ended, I always felt she would return for a second chance. “So, what brings her back to the States after all this time?” “Sounds like she has a new job opportunity here. She left Japan last year.” “Well, it would’ve been nice to meet her.” “I know, but she was in a rush to get somewhere. I barely had a chance to talk to her. I actually walked right by her. I didn’t recognize her until she called my name. She looks so different now.”

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His voice changes as he talks about her, but I pretend not to notice. I hold my tongue to refrain from mentioning her new short hairstyle, a huge difference from the long thick hair she wore years ago. But I can’t let Jimmy know I went through a period of Facebook stalking the only woman who broke his heart. “I’m sure you were you happy to see her, right?” I ask, even though I already know the answer. I can’t erase the memory of his huge smile in her presence. “I…I w-wouldn’t say happy,” stutters the man who always has a way with words. Jimmy’s gift of gab is what makes him so successful. “I was more surprised than anything to see Tammy at Mocha café. I haven’t seen her in years and I bump into her there out of all places. Anyway, small world.” Tammy. I guess we’re using her beloved nickname now. “Yea it’s weird. Guess fate wanted you to see Tamara, I mean Tammy today.” I sip my lemonade and stare out the window, hating myself for being so petty. Jimmy always attracts lots of women. I knew this about him even before we tied the knot, and it usually never bothers me. But something about today is different. I can’t help but to dwell on his thoughts and how it feels for him to run into the love of his life. I think about their past together, even though I don’t want to. It just reminds me that he would probably still be with her if she hadn’t left him for her career. Tamara’s his first. You never get over your first. We barely make it into the house before Jimmy tears my clothes off. He makes love to me as if he’s trying to prove something. And I let him.

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AUTHOR SPOTLIGHT: EXPLORING SEASONS WITH LUCY DAZILMA

As artists, we are all so different, but man, are we alike. That’s how I felt as I ended my interview with Lucy Dazilma, affectionately known through the internet as Lucy Pearl. It amazes me that no matter who I speak to, whether casually or formally, similar things surface. It’s normalizing. It’s inspiring, even. To know that some creative, halfway around the world, is having similar thoughts as me. No matter how far along we forge in our careers, we still feel the same butterflies during the process. The process that in many cases has taken time; the process that appears to continue on forever. The process that requires us to dig deep and produce something beautiful, and well sometimes, it doesn’t feel that way. Sometimes, it feels the exact opposite. Because its vulnerable, because it’s sacred, because it’s ours. And yet, we still find the

courage to share that part of ourselves again and again. Join me on this journey as I learn more about the genius behind Seasons: Musings on Life for the 20-Something. A book of essays, written for women who are navigating life and trying to make sense of it all. Lucy shares lessons gleaned from experiences that have changed her life. She reveals her thoughts on topics that resonate with her on a daily basis. This book is for the woman who is still finding herself. The woman who needs a guide for fulfilling her goal to be her most authentic self, while still in bloom. Tell me about the most beautiful part of the writing process for you. Deciding to write the book was a very clear

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decision. I was a freelance contractor but wasn’t working on anything during the time. I had a brief, yet direct conversation with God, where I told Him that I would not accept any job while I wrote it, as long as He provided for me financially. Now that I think about it, I was rude as hell. But sure enough, from beginning to end, it took me 40 days to write and publish the book (on my birthday like I wanted). And as soon as I was done, I got a job offer. The writing, once I started, was the easy part. The beauty in that process was me making a decision and trusting that God would see it through as long as I kept writing.

1. Once you make up your mind to write, do it. Disconnect from social media and anything else that may distract you from your writing project. Don’t give yourself excuses, give yourself permission. 2. Write often. You never know if what you write today will be the content you need for a book, contest, blog, etc a year from now. Keep writing; continue filling the pages, and the opportunity to share it will present itself.

3. Join a community. A lot of us are taking this step with no one around us to guide us. NetWho or what is your greatest writing muse? working with creatives like you is a great way to I’d have to say besides myself, maybe music. Outfill in the blanks. To get the answers to the side of my full-time job, I spend a lot of time alone. questions you have. It may also present opportuI spend a huge chunk of my time driving. A lot of nities to cross-market and increase your overall my writing comes while I’m driving. I’ll hear a song reach. and immediately start creating a movie scene to accompany it in mind. Or the lyrics might spark a 4. We all are sensitive about our ish. And as a rethought. When the light turns red (because safety sult, we become apprehensive about the level of first, of course), I save a detailed note in my phone vulnerability we wish to exist upon. Sometimes, about the feeling or question the music sparked. we allow our nerves to halt us. Don’t. Instead use your story to tell your story. You never know who Name three writers that have given you envy is waiting to read your words. when reading. Ah man. My top favorite writers are Elizabeth Gil5. Don’t take yourself so seriously. Like Lucy, we bert – Eat, Pray, Love; Cheryl Strayed – Tiny Beauall struggle with being our own worst critic. We tiful Things; and, Brene Brown – Daring Greatly. all deal with wanting to make sure it’s just right. One of my life values is radical vulnerability and all Give yourself permission to make mistakes; to be three of these women write (and speak!) in a way imperfect. People want you, flaws included. that literally brings me to tears. When I asked Lucy what advice she had for writWhat’s been your biggest obstacle in giving ers, she said: yourself permission to write? Stop labeling yourself as aspiring. There is no I am my own worst critic. I am terribly hard on one thing you have to do to be a writer other myself. Being a perfectionist, it becomes crippling than write. So, just do it. when the idea I have in my head doesn’t shape out to be exactly how I want it to be. Literally, every To continue along the journey with Lucy day, when I feel like I’m about to get hard on myPearl, you can connect with her via Instagram: self, I say it’s okay. Whatever it is, it is okay. You @lucyspearls; twitter: @lucy_pearl or visit her don’t have to be perfect, you don’t always have site lucyspearls.com to be strong and tomorrow is another day to try again. --------------------------------------------------------------

Written by: Laneshia Lamb My conversation with Lucy went on for a little over Photos: Courtesy of Lucy Dazilma an hour. And, in that time frame there were a few things that stood out to me.

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Choosing to live and love life requires the dismissal of fear. Holding on to fear is what makes life hard. Painâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s only purpose is to show you areas in your life you are not loving enough. Pain is not meant to last or be held onto. Its only purpose is to show you where you do not want to be. It is a fleeting teacher, that is all. Fear and pain are what feed the ego. And if you continue to hold on to it, it only gets bigger. It consumes your life until you recognize that you are the cause of its growth and the pain it continually brings into your life. And just as we have the power to harbor pain, we also have the power to harness love. You make that choice. - Seasons, Lucy Dazilma

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Spreading Good Thoughts with Ebone McCloud One could say that a person who drinks tea is a special kind of individual. Someone who savors the small moments in life. Someone who sees the wisdom in slowing down and unplugging even if for a moment. Ebone McCloud is just that sort of special woman. She not only knows how to enjoy a well crafted cup of tea but she also knows how to create it! Ebone’ McCloud is the creator and founder of the Good Thoughts Tea Company located in Washington D.C. We had the amazing opportunity to chat with her and pick her brain about her business, her love of tea, and of course, her creative process. Tell me, what does the word “tea” mean to you? Home. Period. It means Sunday afternoons in your favorite chair with your favorite sweater and book. It means being so comfortable with who and what you are that nothing or no one can shake you. It means finding peace in the stillness of your being. That to me is home. That to me is tea.

What types of conversation would you like your tea to generate? Any and all types. I want the tea to make you feel warm. I want it to make you awaken to things that you never thought you would. I want you to be in a space of true comfort while sipping. This creates a beautiful framework for transparent conversation and complete surrender.

“ Rainy days call for chai blends. So I would have one of my orange chai spice teas with a bit of hemp milk and honey ...

You mention on your website that one of your goals is to reawaken the conversation and the experience of tea. That is such a warm and inviting thought.

Can you describe what your ideal tea drinking experience would be? (For example, Where would you sit? What blend would you drink? Would there be music playing? What would you be doing while you were drinking the tea? What would you wear? Would you be alone or would you be sharing tea with a dear friend?...... Set the scene for us..)

OOOO this is a good one. A rainy day, in a big comfy chair, with a soft cozy blan-

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ket near the window would be the ideal setting. Rainy days call for chai blends. So I would have one of my orange chai spice teas with a bit of hemp milk and honey in my favorite mug that reminds me of my mom. Jazz would be playing in the background. Particularly ‘In a Sentimental Mood’ (it reminds me of my grandfather, may he rest in love). The fire would be burning in the fireplace and the smell of cinnamon would fill the air. I would be in my most comfortable lounge clothes and I would be all by myself. I would have my journal in hand and a good book (probably one by Jen Sincero because her works are amazing). Tea time for me is about reflection and introspection. It’s my time to get back to myself. The “Good Thoughts Tea Company” is a beautiful and inspiring name for a business. What moved you to choose that name and what was your process in creating the Good Thoughts Tea Company that we know and love today? I was sitting in the my homegirl’s artist studio and told her that I wanted to create something that contained my energy so that I could share it with the world. She is a jewelry designer and her work really spoke to who she was and I wanted to do something like that so she suggested that I make tea since I was so in love with it. Even though I knew not one thing about making tea, something felt so right about doing it. While I was sitting in my friend’s studio I looked to my left and there was a book entitled, “Good Thoughts”. It resonated with me so much that I felt like it had to be the name of the company. The next thing you know, I had all of these herbs and was in my kitchen experimenting. A week later, I had jars, makeshift labels, and about five blends. The moment that I put the first herb in my mixing bowl, I knew that I had finally found my purpose. Your tea company is centered around the healing properties of herbs. What moved you to get involved in natural wellness and herbal remedies? When I started, I was just beginning to pay attention to my body more and get deeper into my spiritual practices. I began realizing the connection that the foods and things I consumed had with my overall well being. I then started noticing how loose leaf tea was way better for you because it includes whole herbs and not broken down particles. From there, I researched the different properties found in certain herbs and was blown away. It pushed open the door of curiosity for me and I have been riding the wave ever since.

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You mentioned that you’ve been in business for three years, if you had to narrow it down to two things, what would you say are the two most important lessons you’ve learned since you started your company? I would say that the two most important lessons that I have learned have been to stay motivated and rooted in creating. Running a small business can require a lot of someone and the creative element can get lost. Another lesson has been to be ok with asking for help. Asking for help doesn’t make you weak, it makes you strong. When you ask, it’s because you pushed the ego to the side and found the courage to do so. You started in Chicago and then relocated to Washington D.C., both of which are known for being hubs for creatives of color. How does location play into your creative process? Chicago is home. It aided me in my process because I was surrounded by nothing but my creative friends. When I moved to DC, it took me awhile to find my tribe. So it slowed down my creative process. Not saying that I needed people around to motivate me to do my work but I needed inspiration and being in a new place without knowing a lot of people put a pause on that. However, three years later, I am creating like crazy because I am comfortable and have found inspiration in so many ways here. What has the been biggest challenge to owning your own business and how have you managed to overcome it? Whew. Being your own everything. I don’t have a team yet so when I have orders, especially huge ones, I have to ask my friends to come and assist. I am my own social media and marketing team, business and financial planner, blender, packager, shipper, and everything in between. Doing all of that makes you realize your next steps. So now, I am looking to build my tea tribe. You go above and beyond in creating a beautiful, unique, and authentic experience for each of your customers, what motivates you to strive for that level of customer service in your business? I have a customer service background and I truly believe that what you show your customers reflects in how well your business does. I view my customers as family. I would want them to feel the love just as much as I would do with my blood family.

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What was your process in creating the interactive and engaging workshops you’re known for like your “For The Love Of Tea Workshop” and “Sacred Sundays”? For the workshop series, ‘For the Love of Tea’, I really wanted to show people the basics on how to steep loose leaf tea and what the difference is from bagged teas. It is important that people understand the what and why of the products they are consuming. I wanted people to not only know that but to feel included in the Good Thoughts experience. It’s more than just tea. For ‘Sacred Sundays’, it was a space for women to connect and share dialogue over tea. It was a space of breathe and well being. If you could offer some words of encouragement to creatives, writers, and small businesses of color what would you say? Keep going. Do not stop working toward your goal. As cliche as it sounds, it is so true. Find your home in your creative endeavors. Once you do, everything opens up to you and for you. What are the next steps for your company? What should our readers be on the lookout for from you in the upcoming year? A lot. Lol. A relaunch of the brand in a new, more exciting way. New team members and more social media. New blends, jars, products and possibly a new line. I am in love with what I do and I love the fact that I created it from the ground up. I am so excited to see where this will go. So stay on the lookout! To learn more about The Good Thoughts Tea Company, check out Ebone’ McCloud’s website, http://www.goodthoughtsteaco.com.

Written by: Telyse Bee Photos: Courtesy of Good Thoughts Tea Company

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SUBMISSIONS

UMA CAIPIRINHA POR FAVOR Written by: Corrisa Peterson | @nouvelleevague Fiction

Back at her apartment, there were flashcards, an opened but never used box of a discount Rosetta Stone program, and opened, thoroughly highlighted books on how to learn Portuguese scattered across Nadine’s coffee table. She hadn’t bothered to clean up before she left. There was a Brazilian festival happening downtown, and after 45 minutes of weighing the pros and cons of going versus not going, Nadine threw on a shimmery dark blue dress and called a cab. The cab operator was the first person she had spoken to in three days. Booths, food trucks, and portable bars populated most of the outdoor area of downtown. Mostly everyone was a part of a group or at least with one other person, Nadine noticed. She was often alone when she went downtown, and normally she didn’t mind. But she was hyper aware of her aloneness tonight. One drink. She was a woman by herself downtown; she needed to keep her wits about her. So she could only have one drink. Nadine stood in front of a food truck that also served drinks and looked at the chalkboard menu; at the top, written slightly bigger and in a loopy cursive was the word “Caipirinha,” with a price of six dollars. She pulled out her phone and opened a translation app while in

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line. “O que há emu ma Caipirinha?” she asked the bartender, halting halfway through the sentence. She spent her time learning Portuguese from Portugal, not Brazil, so she wondered if there was anything she should have said differently. The bartender smiled. “Lime, sugar, cachaça—like rum but made with…” he waved his left hand around as he tried to think of the word. “Cana de sugar?” “Cana? Nadine repeated, her eyes looking upward as if she were searching for the translation in the air. Sugarcane?”

small things, such as wanting a coffee or snack, or counting things in this language instead of English. But without a person to actually hold a conversation with, Nadine worried she could only progress so far. Now she stood in front of a kind of cute bartender, attempting to order a Brazilian cocktail. “Gostaria…uma caipirinha. Por favor.” Nadine said. The bartender nodded and began making the drink. Sure she sounded funny, perhaps even like gringa, but she actually talked to someone.

“Yes,” he said laughing. “Sugarcane.” Nadine had spent at least an hour on Portuguese every day for the past four months. Sometimes watching videos, sometimes doing grammar exercises, sometimes just reading articles, or a combination of tasks. She found herself enjoying the process of taking on the language. The new words, the different pronunciations. She had heard that learning a new language was like finding another part of the personality. She daydreamed about living a cosmopolitan life in Lisbon or going to exciting parties in Rio de Janeiro. And now she could wrap her head around the basics: one, two, three became um, dois, três, “my name is” became “meu nome é.” Sometimes Nadine amused herself with her desire to be a polyglot, despite how she hardly needed to talk to people. The little face-to-face interactions that normally peppered the lives of others were often not a part of hers. She worked from home as a freelance writer, had her groceries delivered and did most of her shopping online. Phone meetings were rare. Why was she learning another language when many days she didn’t have to speak in her mother tongue? Still, the thought of being more than monolingual appealed to her, so she set in place a goal of learning conversational Portuguese within two years. In the past few months she found herself occasionally thinking in Portuguese. Nothing complicated, just

The conversation vacillated between broken English and Portuguese. The bartender, named Alex, was there to help his extended family during the festival that would last through the weekend. From there he planned on doing some sightseeing before heading back to São Paolo. “I leave next week,” said Alex. But, you have Skype or something yes?” Nadine nodded. “Talvez… maybe, you can help me with my English and I can help you with your Portuguese?” “Gostaria.” Nadine replied, pushing her anxiety about interacting with a strange man via web chat away for the moment. “Eu gostria disso,” he corrected her. “I would like that.” Alex grabbed a pen and paper to write down his information and handed it to her. Nadine took it, said thank you one more time, and began walking around to see more of the festival. If she could talk to the Portuguese bartender, maybe she could talk to other people as well. And luckily, Nadine thought, she still had a few of her English books from college on her bookshelf.

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SUBMISSIONS

A CONVERSATION

Written by: Najya Williams | @NajyaTheAuthor Poetry

I want you to want me Just as I am Because I am sick and tired of watering myself down so I can be more appealing to you My hair will never be as straight as you want My hips never as narrow My eyes never as pale I’ll never be the Barbie to your Ken I’m more like the Coretta to your King I want you Just as you are And although I wish you feel the same I won’t rent out this penthouse just so you can play house As much as I desire to be your friend, Homie, Girl I have yet to fall in love with myself I want to make you figure out a puzzle that can never be completed And I know it’s selfish But I can’t help myself

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When you’re so used to empty sheets and a lonely heart You greedily consume any love tossed your way It hurts, but I guess I have to let you go Because if I can’t tolerate the deafening silence of being with just myself How can I handle the quiet resentment leftover from a relationship destined for failure from the start? Loving you is easy And although I seem cold and calloused sometimes You make our teenaged love taste like long talks under the stars on a cool summer night Something like watermelon with a zest of lemon and a sprinkle of cayenne Satisfying, surprising and spicy all in one bite I never want this to end So as we sit here in this moment Wrap your arms around me and promise you’ll never let me go Caress my soul with murmurs of your admiration Tell me how much I complete your world So I don’t think I’m too crazy for making you the center of mine Because, baby, You are my sun and I love

watching you shine You’re good at what you do I know that all too well as truth But I can’t help but feel as if this is merely a mirage you don’t someone to sabotage So tell me Why do you smell of lavender When I only wear honey You wearing red lipstick when I only rock nudes I need to be clear because without trust I won’t be here My heart has been used as a pinata for the last time I can’t play these games with you Give me the truth Why make me the Eve to your Adam When all you do is tarnish the gold in my temple You don’t respect me enough to be honest with me So yet again, you’ve turned a passionate pairing into a fizzled flame My vulnerability is not a doormat you wipe your indiscretions on It’s your reminder that you have someone’s heart in the palm of your hand When I’m able to calm down, You tell me it wasn’t enough I chuckle a little because you

been felt that way I was never the wifey material you claimed me to be Just a secret you filed away as to not embarrass yourself Tell me when the switch flipped Was it when you couldn’t run your hands through 30 inches of some Brazilian girl’s hair When you couldn’t stare into eyes the color of those on the other side of the color wheel When you couldn’t find a 27 inch waist underneath this 34 inch one Keep it a hunnid with me because the pain is never gonna subside I’ll always remember how I was just way too black for you to take me seriously And I’m sorry to put you on blast like this You certainly aren’t the first one to feel the way you do But I just want to know one thing When that precious little girl you help bring into the world Curly hair, caramel skin and the shape of her father’s ancestors Encounters a man who spits her back out of his mouth as if she disgusts him How will you be able to justify the things you’ve said to me When you’ll be ready to risk time in prison to make him an ornament on a tree?

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SUBMISSIONS

THE PIECES Written by: Candace Freeman | @candachi87 Photo: Pexels Fiction Sheila rolled over and checked the clock. 2:11 a.m. Her mind just couldn’t seem to stop running. It had been like this for the past year. She’d close her eyes but instead of finding rest she was greeted with anxious thoughts. She looked over at her fiancé. Knocked out as usual. “How was he able to sleep?” She thought to herself. After all it was his fault that she couldn’t sleep. Ever since he told her about the affair her mind hadn’t stopped racing. He said it didn’t mean anything. It just happened. He really loved her. Sheila still shook when she thought about that night. He had gotten up to use the bathroom and his phone buzzed. She didn’t intend to look at the message but it flashed brightly across the phone. “I miss your lips.” She had thought his lips were hers. How could he share them with someone else? When she asked him about it, he immediately broke down. “It was only a kiss,” he cried. It was the biggest mistake of his life. He’d never do it again. He loved her.

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“How could he sleep knowing how he had hurt her?”

But if he loved her how could he do something like that to her. She blinked back the tears of remembrance that welled in her eyes. The scar from that night was ripped open again and it burned deep. She had wanted to end it that night but he begged her not to go. She had known she needed time to think but he smothered her with love and regret for weeks. Then came the ring. He couldn’t live without her. Yet, here he was a year later, sleep. If what he said was true shouldn’t he be the one with the sleepless night? How could he sleep knowing the way that he hurt her? She still remembered her loud wail from that night. She didn’t even know she could make such a noise. Why didn’t she leave? Was it because she more afraid of being alone, than she was hurt from his indiscretion? After all it was just a kiss. They were in love. He made a mistake. Everyone makes mistakes. Their love was real. She could feel it in the way he held her. The way “I love you” dripped from his lips like honey. Did he tell her he loved her? Did he hold her tightly in his arm wishing he would never have to let go? How could he kiss someone else with the same lips that told her they’d be together forever? Sheila looked wearily at the clock again. 5:45 a.m. She had to stop torturing herself like this. Her fiancé said the same thing when she would ask him questions about the kiss. How long was it? Did he close his eyes? What happened after? Did he feel anything? Sheila knew she should stop but she couldn’t. What if it happened again? Would she leave then? Why not just leave now?

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She looked up the contracts for the wedding in her phone. She searched for the cancellation policies. We’re getting married in a month. How would I explain it to my family? What about the deposits they had made? She would have to send back the gifts they’d been given. No, she couldn’t that’s too embarrassing. He loved her. How many of her friends had told her they wished they had someone who loved them the way he did. He loved her. He loved her. He loved her. Sheila kept repeating it over and over in her head hoping that if she said it enough she would believe it again. She longed for the days before she found out. They were so happy then. Would they ever be that happy again? Remember that time he cooked that fancy meal just cause? And what about the trip to the zoo that summer? Or the weekend trip to California to try that ice cream place she’d seen online. What about all the times they had deep conversations about their dreams and their fears? Or any of the other times he showed her how much he loved her. Those moments and feelings were real. The love she felt for him now was real. He was the man of her dreams. He was the one. He knew her better than anyone else. He supported her. He cared for her. He loved her. He cheated on her. “Good morning babe,” Her fiancé said groggily. “How did you sleep?”

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au·to·mat·ic writ·ing au•to•mat•ic writ•ing noun 1. writing said to be produced by a spiritual, occult, or subconscious agency rather than by the conscious intention of the writer.

Writing can be daunting when you find yourself at a roadblock. It can be disheartening to have a thought but not have the words to eloquently express the way you feel. Throughout my spiritual journey, I have discovered a way to write from something higher than myself. It allows me to dig deeper and collect overarching themes that give me the inspiration I need to dismantle those writing roadblocks. When I first came across this I was a bit skeptical. “Write from spirit” immediately put me off, but I needed a breakthrough in my writing so I tried it. It’s really just as simple as the Google definition says. Here are some tips that work for me when I want to do automatic writing. I encourage you to find your own rhythm or routine.

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Make this process, this literary awakening, your own.

1. Meditation is key, for me. I usually meditate and begin to free write . Whatever comes to me I write down. No matter what. I don’t stop to read, I just write until I feel like I cannot write any longer. 2. Choose your tools. I think faster than my hands can write so I use my laptop to do my automatic writing or the notes section on my phone. It makes it easier for me to go back and read what I wrote later. 3. Find themes. I always suggest that people should attempt automatic writing for a few days or even a week. This gives the writer enough content to go back and see if there are any recurring themes or words. 4. Expand on a theme. Once I have found a few themes I take the time to bullet point short phrases or just expand on them. Automatic writing is very therapeutic for me. There are plenty of articles and people that can tell you about it or how it should be done. But I believe that finding your own routines to tap into that spirit or those subconscious thoughts are best. Sometimes the writing will be confusing and sometimes it will be a catalyst for healing. There may even be a time where the writing will prompt your next piece or a new idea. Take a stab at it. I hope it brings you peace.

Written by: Ka’Lyn Coghill

“ I believe that finding

your own routines to tap into those spirit or subconscious thoughts are best. 34

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The Journey to Self-Care with Amber Janae As a writer, speaker, and wellness advocate, Amber Janae has committed herself to helping others achieve a life of wholeness through self-care.

With a love for tech and social media, in 2012 Amber created her award winning lifestyle blog, Amber-Janae.com. The websiteâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sole purpose is to inspire spiritual growth and personal development. The dedication and thoroughness Amber displayed on her website helped her land a day job in another field she enjoys, marketing and communications. As her website continued to grow, this Oakland, California native combined what she learned at her 9-5 with her passion and found new ways to reach her audience by writing books, creating a podcast, offering intuitive coaching, and most recently a magazine. In her interview below, Amber Janae shares how a life of destructive choices led her to a path of self-care, why wellness is a necessary part of life, and how empowering others provides her with personal fulfillment. Was there a specific event that placed you on your own self-care journey? The most specific event was surviving the last of my many suicide attempts. I had suicidal

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thoughts from a very young age. I began acting on those thoughts in 97’ or 98’, after my great grandfather’s passing. I was probably 16 or 17 when one attempted suicide landed me in the hospital for days. The doctors explained that if it wasn’t for my brother caring and acting as quickly as he did I would have died. I realized I not only was hurting others, but I was putting myself through so much trauma. While in the hospital I had a chance to reflect on my life and the self-harm I was inflicting upon myself. Ultimately, I was tired of getting in my own way. I was fed up of causing myself pain. I left the hospital fully committed to learning the value of caring for and loving myself completely. What changes have you noticed in yourself since you started your journey? One of the most profound changes is my ability to no longer identify with the emotional trauma of my past. I have grown to accept that the past is an extension of me, but it is not the whole of who I am. My power to perceive life as a growth process, which is happening for me and not to me, has been another huge change I’ve seen in myself. The love and care I have developed for myself has strengthened my love, care and compassion for others and this entire planet. Why is self-care so important? Self-care is important because without it there is really no survival. When we don’t love on ourselves we are never happy, but we’re always hoping to find that happiness in something or someone else. We think, “When I get that job I’ll feel good, when I can afford that car, cosmetic surgery or get married I’ll finally be happy.” But when you do finally achieve those things you’re still unsatisfied, there’s still an emptiness because life can only meet you as far as you have met yourself. Life is designed to teach us that despite what we thought, we must not assign others the task of saving us, we can only save ourselves. You recently launched The Core Maga

zine, what purpose does the magazine serve? The Core Magazine is designed to inspire better living to all who read it. The idea came about when I rebranded my website late last year. I knew I wanted to expand the work that I provided to my online audience, and a website was no longer doing it. I also felt there was a huge need for editorial work, digital and/or print that catered to young Black men and women, specifically creatives, entrepreneurs, and wellness enthusiast. That’s how The Core Magazine was born. Readers can look forward to tons of inspiration. The magazine will have recipes, great interviews, it will highlight Black owned businesses and Black owned brands, beauty, fashion, photography and so much more. One of my favorites is the content we create that caters to men and their self-care routines. I think we often overlook that men, especially black men, need self-care too.

How has a career in wellness provided you with fulfillment in your life?

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I wake up every day and do what I love and what resonates with my soul, I truly believe this is where my fulfillment comes from. I had a mentor in my earlier years who would always tell me “Amber when you change within, the rest of your life will follow.” I didn’t believe her until I started taking my wellness journey more seriously. When I focused on truly changing internally, letting go of all my unhealthy habits, that internal shift was the result of a huge external one. That’s when I started to see life truly unfold for me. Wellness has really helped to provide fulfillment through empowering others as well. That’s truly where the fulfillment is, being of service to others. If the journey just includes you, you’re not aiming high enough. My fulfillment comes from making sure that I am well and that my life is a leading example, not so much for others to follow, but for others to be inspired. There is no greater level of fulfillment than healing yourself and inspiring the collective to heal simultaneously. To keep up with Amber Janae, follow her @ajscribes and visit her site Amber-Janae.com. Written by: Tamika Burgess | Photos: Courtesy of Amber Janae.

A new recurring column, The Sistah Girls Book Club is an online community made up of black women who enjoy reading and conversing about books. We bring readers and authors together using the power of digital media. We host monthly book discussions, giveaways, and contests to promote black literature and black authors. When I think of Black, independent romance authors there is one name that sits at the top of that list–Love Belvin. A Jersey girl through and through, Love has changed the blueprint for telling a Black love story. I was first introduced to her work through her first series, “Love’s Improbable Possibility,” back in 2014. A four-part contemporary love story that follows a Black couple, who on the surface just didn’t seem like they would make it, but in the end, love conquered. What has captured me most about Love Belvin is her ability to tell a perfectly imperfect love story. Whether it’s a famous basketball player who makes a selfish decision that costs him his family or a young girl from Harlem who unintentionally becomes the First Lady of a church. You find yourself cheering, crying, and even cursing while reading her work. Love Belvin dives head first into the dark crevices of Black love that we sometimes don’t like to talk about. And just when it looks like all hope is gone she redeems, restores, and shows readers that Black love is not only attainable, but it’s something to look forward to. Her tagline, “Penning without parameters,” holds true with every novel she churns out. And with the stroke of her pen she continues to create stories that challenge our ideas of what Black love is. How did you begin your career as a writer? I took on a traditional career in public health. I got my undergraduate degree and graduate degree in public health. And I was in public health for about fifteen years while I was begin-

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ning my writing career. So, as I was phasing out of public health I was going into this literary area. I’m an adult contemporary romance author and I view myself fictionally as this therapist with a practice. I welcome those people I term as broken and those who are not great candidates for a romantic type of love, and I tell their stories. What was your first example of Black love/romance? I was born to very young parents; my mom was about fifteen when she had me and my dad was about a year older than her. They married just before I was born and they eventually split up because they were kids when they got married. So, my paternal grandparents stepped in and they were married and had been for a few decades. They were solid, stable, and their peers were all middle aged married people raising kids that were far older than I was. And then a few years later as I got older, probably late middle school and certainly into high school, my aunts and uncles began to get married. Those are the relationships that I honestly learned from. Those are the relationships that I learned that there is that romantic piece. What have you learned about Black love that you didn’t know prior to writing about it? I didn’t know that so many people didn’t believe in Black love until I became an author. Everyone needs to see that Black people do commit themselves to each other and we do have long lasting and monogamous relationships. The Black women in your stories are strong yet very vulnerable, how do you find the right balance when creating them? I try to identify those vulnerable parts in them and then pair them with someone that they have that electrifying chemistry with. But just like my men I write about women I know, some facets of their personalities that I’ve seen of real people, heard of real people, experienced from real people, and I try to pair them with men that they can strike that balance with and can achieve sustainable love. What was it about writing that captured you? I like stories, and I’ve been a storyteller for longer than I realized. When I started publishing is when I realized I had been telling stories since I was very young. And when I say very young, maybe like sixth, seventh, eighth grade I remember telling stories–they probably got romantic then. But even before then I liked talking to people and I specifically liked speaking to adults as a kid. With your stories, how do you maintain giving readers a “happily ever after” while also showcasing what a real relationship looks like? Because I have to believe that there is a happily ever after, because, I grew up with those middle-aged great aunts and uncles that are seventy and eighty and they are still married. And that’s what it is, staying committed to each other. Not a problem free, or stress free or sometimes even scandal free marriage. They made a very active decision to stay together. So, I

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know that does exist, the challenge is getting you to that point. Black love is... Attainable.

Written by: Sharee Hereford Sharee Hereford, the founder of The Sistah Girls Book Club would post pictures of her current reads on the popular photo-sharing app Instagram. Other black women began commenting and reading her suggested books and conversations would begin. There needed to be a space where black women could connect, converse, and share our love for readingâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;so Sharee created one. Follow @sistahgirlsbookclub

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PTW Pick Control: Ambitions of a Fighter Kimolee Eryn is a photographer, writer, performing artist and so much more. With her debut effort, “Control,” Eryn takes on the stigma of mental health. Control is an eye opening journey through what life with mental struggles in the passenger seat is like. It consists of shared stories, helpful insight and encouragement for your journey. Control is a guide to taking back the reins of your mind and your life, from one fighter to another.

RECENT RELEASES Honey Peppered Tongue, Thaiia Senquetta Electric Arches, Eve L. Ewing Sing, Unburied, Sing, Jesmyn Ward, Sept. 5 Stay With Me, Ayobami Adebayo, Aug. 22 Don’t Call Us Dead, Danez Smith, Sept. 5 Little Fires Everywhere, Celeste Ng, Sept. 12 Five-Carat Soul, James McBride, Sept. 26 We Were Eight Years in Power: An American Tragedy, TaNehisi Coates, Oct. 3 An Unkindness of Ghosts, River Solomon, Oct. 3 Mean, Myriam Gurba, Nov. 14 A Book About Things I Will Tell My Daughter, Joel L. Daniels

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“

The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction, not a destination.” -Carl Rogers

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