Parenting & Guardianship

with Roberta Smart

Who am I anyway?

Living within a family unit is the default setting; a basic expectation of most people as they grow up. Many of us will naturally meet a partner, start a family together, raise children, work, pay bills and keep walking the treadmill of normality until something monumental happens to shift us into a state of shock.

It may be bereavement, a divorce, a natural disaster or other outside influence which feels like it rudely awakens us from our passive slumber and we find ourselves asking, ‘Who am I now?’

This can happen to us at any age and when it does it should not be ignored. Big life events are certainly traumatic and difficult, but within them often lies a new path; a new way forward if only we can find it.

If you, dear reader, have found yourself shaken out of your routine of parenting and caring for your family, and are facing a state of self enquiry, I would like to welcome you with open arms and invite you to walk a little way with me along a new path: the path of you.

Rest and look after yourself

Taking time to rest is massively important, when quite possibly your every nerve and fibre is urging you to ‘stay busy’ so you do not have to face the changes which are encompassing you. Please, find rest; in walks in the fresh air, gardening, napping in the afternoon, wandering in new places alone and discovering things you had never noticed before. Remember a rested parent is a happy parent!

Nourish yourself, learn to cook a new signature dish, try foods you have never tried before, eat alone in a restaurant, all the time feeling into your own emotions, fears, excitement and newness.

Remember, anxiety and excitement are exactly the same sensation, simply created for different reasons. So if you can find ways to transform your fear of the future into excitement for what lies ahead, you will create pure magic in your life, almost accidentally. One day you will be sharing these magic tips with your own children as they navigate changes in the future – so why not become an expert right now?

Find joy in the everyday

The most important part of self discovery amidst chaos is to find small fragments of joy in the everyday. Learn to treasure quietness rather than fear it, acknowledge your own skills which you previously took for granted and even navigate your way to turning things you used to do because you ‘had to’, into blessed activities which bring you joy.

When all is said and done, you are amazing, you are valuable and you are so needed, no matter how you struggle or find life difficult. You, in and of yourself, are a gift to the world, and now may just be your time to present yourself wholeheartedly.