Parenting & Guardianship

with Roberta Smart

How are we talking to our girls?

As I sit down to write this article, England Women’s Football team have just won the Euro finals against Germany. Go Lionesses!

I am thinking of the message received by so many little girls across the world as they watch these incredible sportswomen achieve their dreams: ‘You can do it! You can win! You are amazing and anything is possible.’

In stark contrast to the negativity of most major media coverage of women’s stories, we are seeing a new era of possibilities for our little girls going forward.

“Be strong, brave, determined and focused!”

No longer is the message, “be afraid, protect yourself, play small, keep everyone else happy, be beautiful in order to be worthy” . We are now hearing the message, “be strong, brave, determined and focused!”

So how do we bring this message home to our babies, toddlers and school age girls? How can we begin to change the narrative of the centuries which asked only that girls be pretty and humble, helpful and supportive, caring and nurturing, and actively belittled them for being anything else? By noticing moments of courage, strength, determination and resilience and honouring them.

Commend them for having a voice of their own

As parents and grandparents we can stop commenting on girls’ looks, what they are wearing or indeed their ‘nice manners’, and instead commend them for speaking up, saying no, and having a voice and an opinion of their own. We can offer them opportunities to be strong and powerful; to climb, run, shout, compete, win and lose. We can teach them to be caring and selfhonouring rather than passive and self-neglecting. We can refuse to ‘worry’ about appearances, with regard to weight, hair colour, facial features, and instead see our girls as adventurers and equip them to deal with all that life hands them.

Mostly we can stop sexualising them through clothing choices and comments around being attractive to boys, refusing to condemn them to a life of unworthiness, people pleasing and self denial.

The lionesses have shown us what young women can achieve with the right guidance, support and coaching, and now it is time to bring that home, in our own homes.

Are you ready to raise a lioness?

It may take a while to learn a new way to talk to our girls, but if we are determined, try our best and accept when we get it wrong we will begin to build a new world for women of the future, which enables them to lead, guide, compete and win, no matter what they choose to do. I for one would be proud to see my daughter stand tall, speak her mind and honour herself in any situation. The door is open, the time is now, are you ready to raise a lioness? The Local Answer To advertise call 01242 510500 Page 15