December 26, 2013

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I CAN HAZ HOLIDAY-WEEK FILLER STORY? THE YEAR IN MEMES 06

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EVENTS 12.30 – 10am-5pm SPECIAL HOLIDAY HOURS The Warhol will be open on Monday, December 30 from 10am to 5pm

Meeting of Important People,

1.11 – 8pm SOUND SERIES: H2 SAXOPHONE QUARTET Warhol theater Co-presented with the Music on the Edge series of the University of Pittsburgh Department of Music Tickets advance $15/$10 students; for tickets call 412.624.7529 or visit www.music.pitt.edu/tickets Door Tickets $20/$15 students FREE parking in Warhol lot

with special guests, The Nox Boys

1.18 – 8pm Warhol entrance space Tickets $10/$8 Members & students FREE parking in Warhol lot

The Warhol welcomes back Pittsburgh’s Meeting of Important People as the first performance in the museum’s recently renovated entrance space. This Pittsburgh trio has shared the stage with artists such as Ok Go, The Secret Machines, and Dean & Britta. Please note that this performance is standing room only.

1.25 – 8pm SOUND SERIES: STRIKE DUO Warhol theater Co-presented with the Music on the Edge series of the University of Pittsburgh Department of Music Tickets advance $15/$10 students; for tickets call 412.624.7529 or visit www.music.pitt.edu/tickets Door Tickets $20/$15 students FREE parking in Warhol lot

2.8 – 8pm SOUND SERIES: JULIANNA BARWICK Warhol theater Co-presented with VIA Music & New Media Festival Tickets $15/$12 Members & students FREE parking in Warhol lot

Damien Jurado, with special guest, Courtney Marie Andrews

1.28 – 8pm

3.1 – 8pm SOUND SERIES: JACK QUARTET Warhol theater Co-presented with the Music on the Edge series of the University of Pittsburgh Department of Music Tickets advance $15/$10 students; for tickets call 412.624.7529 or visit www.music.pitt.edu/tickets Tickets door $20/$15 students FREE parking in Warhol lot

Warhol theater Tickets $15/$12 Members & students FREE parking in Warhol lot

The Warhol also welcomes back Seattle-based songwriter, Damien Jurado, on a tour supporting his January release of Brothers and Sisters of the Eternal Son on Secretly Canadian Records.

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The Andy Warhol Museum receives state arts funding support through a grant from the Pennsylvania Council on the Arts, a state agency funded by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania; the National Endowment for the Arts, a federal agency and The Heinz Endowments. Further support is provided by the Allegheny Regional Asset District.

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.25.2013/01.01.2014


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13 makes it easier for Chevron to 14 “Act establish a drilling rig in the middle of a corn field than for a church to build a small ten-pew worship space in the same field.� — Supreme Court Justice Max Baer on Pennsylvania’s now-scuttled gas-drilling regulations

[TASTE] Montreal meat is probably the 17 “The best form of brisket Jason has ever had.� — Angelique Bamberg and Jason Roth review Nu Modern Jewish Bistro

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Confetti! Costume changes! 22 “Fireworks! This was probably the most over-the-top spectacle I’ve ever witnessed.� — Margaret Welsh, recalling her trip to see Taylor Swift in our year-end wrap-up

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non-stop cash, cars, hookers and 31 “It’s blow: It’s meant to be appalling but also amusing.� — Al Hoff reviews The Wolf of Wall Street

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[LAST PAGE] so much data that can be 55 “There’s collected, and this is an ongoing armsrace.� — Carnegie Mellon University Professor Jason Hong on the ongoing debate over online privacy

{REGULAR & SPECIAL FEATURES} NEWS OF THE WEIRD BY CHUCK SHEPHERD 16 EVENTS LISTINGS 38 SAVAGE LOVE BY DAN SAVAGE 47 FREE WILL ASTROLOGY BY ROB BREZSNY 49 CROSSWORD PUZZLE BY BEN TAUSIG 52

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PAYBACK DRAWING

STEEL CITY MEDIA

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Editor CHRIS POTTER News Editor CHARLIE DEITCH Arts & Entertainment Editor BILL O’DRISCOLL Music Editor ANDY MULKERIN Associate Editor AL HOFF Listings Editor MARGARET WELSH Assistant Listings Editor JESSICA BOGDAN Staff Writers REBECCA NUTTALL, ALEX ZIMMERMAN Staff Photographer HEATHER MULL Interns ALLISON COSBY, BRETT WILSON

GENERAL POLICIES: Contents copyrighted 2013 by Steel City Media. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written permission of the publisher. The opinions expressed in Pittsburgh City Paper are those of the author and not necessarily of Steel City Media. LETTER POLICY: Letters, faxes or e-mails must be signed and include town and daytime phone number for confirmation. We may edit for length and clarity. DISTRIBUTION: Pittsburgh City Paper is published weekly by Steel City Media and is available free of charge at select distribution locations. One copy per reader; copies of past issues may be purchased for $3.00 each, payable in advance to Pittsburgh City Paper. FIRST CLASS MAIL SUBSCRIPTIONS: Available for $175 per year, $95 per half year. No refunds.

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SOMETIMES A PICTURE CAN BE WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS

INCOMING Study shows just 0.1 percent of NIH funding went to LGBT research (Online only, Dec. 12) “The government has been steadily reducing the amount of money dedicated for research funded by the NIH. That money is being divided between grants to support the education of future scientists, scientists in training, and the salaries of established scientists. Moreover, out of that pot — academic institutions want financial compensation to pay for all of the services that scientists need to do their work. … Institutional overhead is the main reason why the NIH has limited funds for research that largely pertains to special-interest groups. There are just too many interests competing for the pot of funds that the NIH has to give away.” — Web comment from “Dumbledore”

BILL PEDUTO

What my contributors think I do

What the other campaign thinks I do

What my supporters think I do

“And yet, despite this injustice related to funding, you idiots still keep voting for liberals and expanding govt.” — Web comment from “Anvil78”

Cuts in federal food benefits mean tightened belts for residents and charities alike (Dec. 11) “Families who don’t get food stamps also make a choice often to buy food rather than pay for another need as mentioned in the article. A family of four used to get around $650/month in food stamps. I feed my family of four healthy balanced meals on about $300 because that is how much I have. The old federal limits were high. More efforts should be put into teaching budget shopping and meal-planning techniques.” — Comment on City Paper’s Facebook page from “Laura Sippos Lutton”

For those that keep asking … I think I’ve finally decided what I’ll do next yr … After careful consideration … I’m gonna just come back as #jt — Dec. 14 tweet from Mayor Luke Ravenstahl, from the Justin Timberlake concert at Consol Energy Center

What I think I do

What I actually do

Y U NO WRITE REAL STORY?

A look back at the year’s top stories in memes {BY CHARLIE DEITCH}

F

OR THE PAST several years in this

issue, City Paper has dedicated space to remembering the top stories of the past year. We always tried to make the list as complete and as exhaustive as possible. But after our insurance-provider refused to pay out any more claims for carpal-tunnel surgery, we decided maybe the big list wasn’t the way to go. So, this

year we’re trying something different — the year’s top stories in memes. Sometimes a picture can be worth a thousand words, so we figured a picture with some funny words on it has to be worth 1,100 to 1,200 words, at least. This year saw a lot of big stories come and go, from the race for Pittsburgh mayor to the federal indictment of our police chief and criminal investigation into

C D E I T C H @ P G H C I T Y PA P E R. C OM CONTINUES ON PG. 08

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.25.2013/01.01.2014

other city officials. This list is by no means exhaustive, and these are the top stories based on the opinions of CP’s news team — myself, along with staff writers Rebecca Nuttall and Alex Zimmerman. In fact, if you think we missed something or if you think you can come up with something funnier, make the meme, email it in and we’ll share some of the best on our Blogh.


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State Supreme Court ruling lights up gas-drilling backers {BY CHRIS POTTER} YOU CAN’T BLAME Gov. Tom Corbett, and the

executives of the Marcellus Shale industry, if they seemed a little stunned last week. They’re only used to the ground shifting beneath other people’s feet. And they weren’t the only ones surprised by the state Supreme Court’s ruling on Dec. 19. It’s not often a judge takes our right to clean air as seriously as our right to carry a gun. By a 4-2 majority, the court scrapped major provisions of Act 13, the state law governing drilling for natural gas in the Marcellus Shale. In catering to gas drillers, the justices ruled, Republican lawmakers had sacrificed the rights of communities. As Justice Max Baer put it, “Act 13 makes it easier for Chevron to establish a drilling rig in the middle of a corn field than [for] a church to build a small ten-pew worship space in the same field.” The court’s lead opinion, written by Chief Justice Ronald Castille, argued that Act 13 left local governments — whose zoning laws ordinarily allow them to place boundaries on industrial activity — all but powerless. “[F]ew could seriously dispute how remarkable a revolution is worked by this legislation,” he wrote. Castille could have stopped there: A lower court had already ruled that Act 13 violated the rights of local municipalities. But along with justices Seamus McCaffery and Deborah McCloskey Todd, Castille went further, arguing that Act 13 violated the state’s Environmental Rights Amendment. Voters ratified that amendment — by a 4-to-1 margin — in 1971. As a result, Article I, Section 27 of the state constitution asserts that “[t]he people have a right to clean air, pure water, and to the preservation of the natural, scenic, historic, and esthetic values of the environment.” Castille noted that amendment passed after decades of “shortsighted exploitation of [Pennsylvania’s] bounteous environment,” citing catastrophes like the Donora air-pollution disaster. And history could repeat itself, he warned: “By any responsible account, the exploitation of the Marcellus Shale Formation will produce a detrimental effect of the environment, on the people, their children, and future generations.” All this in an opinion authored by a Republican. In response, Corbett mumbled something about “job creators,” while the Mar-

cellus Shale Coalition lamented a “missed opportunity.” Others will cry “judicial activism”: Dissenting Justice Thomas Saylor argued that “In a democratic system of government, divisive political controversies [should be] resolved through the political process,” not by judges “substituting their own policy preferences.” Ironically, though, Castille may actually have a better grasp on the public’s will than the legislators who are supposed to carry it out. In October, a Mercyhurst College poll found that Pennsylvania voters favored additional regulations on gas drilling by 3-to-1 margins. When asked if “the potential benefits of fracking … are worth the potential risks” to human health and the environment, a plurality of voters say “no.” Pennsylvania’s gas drillers are dug in now, literally and figuratively. One ruling won’t dislodge them. And though barred from bullying local officials outright, Harrisburg may choose more subtle forms of extortion. Lawmakers could, for example, decide to share drilling-tax revenue only with municipalities whose zoning rules comply with the gas industry’s wishes. In the long run, meanwhile, Castille’s reliance on the Environmental Rights Amendment may have little legal impact. That part of his ruling was backed only by three of the court’s six judges: While Baer agreed to toss Act 13’s key provisions, he didn’t cite the amendment as a basis for doing so. Since Castille’s reasoning didn’t earn an outright majority on the court, its ability to set precedent for future rulings may be muted. But court opinions can reshape the political landscape. Before last week, fracktivists had been fighting a losing battle against Allegheny County Executive Rich Fitzgerald’s plan to drill in county parks. Now they’re describing themselves “elated,” “excited,” and “amazed.” No wonder. For years, they’ve stood out in the rain and snow, waving signs emblazoned with the Environmental Rights Amendment outside gas-drilling conventions. They did so on the assumption that the amendment wasn’t just empty rhetoric, and that what’s written in the constitution actually matters. They clung to that belief even as gas-industry execs strolled past with a smirk. Today, the lobbyists aren’t the ones smiling.

CASTILLE MAY HAVE A BETTER GRASP ON THE PUBLIC’S WILL THAN THE LEGISLATORS WHO ARE SUPPOSED TO CARRY IT OUT.

C P OT T E R@ P G H C I T Y PA P E R. C OM

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.25.2013/01.01.2014


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NEWS OF THE WEIRD {BY CHUCK SHEPHERD}

+ The 5th Judicial District of Pennsylvania and Allegheny County Pretrial Services urges you to enjoy your weekend out in Pittsburgh but

make the right choice,

don’t drink & drive.

Redneck Geek: Edward Teller, the famous theoretical physicist known as the “father of the hydrogen bomb” for his work on the World War II-era Manhattan Project, died in 2003, but his daughter Rene told The Free Press of Kinston, N.C., in November that she had recently discovered two of her father’s precious mementos at a thrift shop near Kinston during a road trip to visit relatives. “[Father’s] work was so demanding” she said, that he needed “recreational activities” and tried “the things you’d suspect,” like chess. However, the two mementos were awards Teller had won at tractor-pull competitions. “He’d show up at major tractor pulls” riding just a Cub Cadet mower, Rene said, and “leave the competition in the dust.” (Teller’s secret, she said, was using “nuclear fusion-based engines,” which sponsors ultimately had to ban.)

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“It will be sort of my unique factor,” said indulgent customer Lucy Luckayanko, describing her then-upcoming $3,000 eyeball jewelry implant from New York City’s Park Avenue Laser Vision — the insertion of a piece of platinum between the sclera (the white part) and the clear conjunctiva. Actually, said the shop’s medical director, Dr. Emil Chynn, to WNEW-TV in November, it’s “pretty safe.”

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Restaurant Startups: (1) Japan’s “cat cafes” allow the pet-starved to relax while dining by caressing house kittens that roam the facilities, but similar eateries have opened recently featuring owls (the Fukurou Sabou in Tokyo, Owl Family in Osaka). (The owls are not caressable and are easily spooked by excessive noise.) (2) Liu Pengfei’s Five Loaves and Two Fish restaurant in Fuzhou, China, is losing money rapidly despite overflow dining crowds, according to a December China Daily report, because he allows customers to pay only what they wish. (They must also wash out their bowls.) “I want to continue,” he said, “as I believe the feeling of trust is contagious.”

+ Friday, January 3rd 5:30pm-9pm Join Rickert & Beagle Books co-owners Peter S. Beagle and Chris Rickert as they celebrate the Grand Opening of their bookstore with food, live music and prizes.

3233 West Liberty Ave. Dormont www.rickertandbeaglebooks.com On Saturday, January 4th at noon the South Side Works cinema will host a special screening of digitally remastered The Last Unicorn followed by a book signing with Peter S. Beagle in the lobby.

Seven years ago, Michael Spann, now 29, suddenly doubled over in pain that felt like he “got hit in the head with a sledgehammer,” and began crying blood. Despite consulting doctors, including two visits with extensive lab work at the venerable Cleveland Clinic, the Antioch, Tenn., man told Nashville’s The Tennessean in October that he is resigned to an “idiopathic condition” — a disease without apparent cause. Spann’s main wish now is just to hold a job, in that fellow workers, and customers, tend not to react well to a man bleeding from the eyes (even though his once-daily episodes have become more sporadic).

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The sex life of the anglerfish, according to a Wired.com interview in November with evolutionary biologist Theodore Pietsch, is as dismal as any on planet Earth. According to Wired: “Boy meets girl, boy bites girl, boy’s mouth fuses to girl’s body, boy lives the rest of his life attached to girl, sharing her blood and supplying her with sperm.” Only 1 percent of males ever hook up with females (because the ocean floor is dark), said Pietsch. The rest starve to death as virgins.

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Marlene Zuk of the University of Minnesota knows her insects, including the mating mechanics of damselflies, crickets and cockroaches, which she described for The New York Times in November. The damselfly male’s penis is a Swiss Army knife-like contraption (necessary to access the female’s well-hidden eggs). The cricket easily produces sperm, but then awaits its draining through a “long stem” “for several minutes” to achieve fertilization. Cockroaches, Professor Zuk wrote, mate by “blind trust” as they hook up back-to-back and, with no neck, cannot even glance over a shoulder to check on their work.

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Nirmala Toppo, 14, is apparently the one to call if wild elephants overrun your village, especially in India’s Orissa and Jharkhand states, which are still home to hundreds of marauding pachyderms. Her latest pied-piper act, in June, emptied a herd of 11 out of the industrial city of Rourkela. Said Toppo: “First I pray and then talk to the herd. I tell them this is not your home. You should return where you belong.” Somehow, the elephants followed her for miles away from the town, according to an October BBC News dispatch.

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The daunting problems that faced the launch of the HealthCare.gov website in October were merely symptoms of the federal government’s often snail-like pace at integrating digital innovations common to everyday America. A December New York Times report revealed that The Federal Register (the daily journal of the U.S. government) still receives original content from some agencies on virtually obsolete 3.5-inch floppy disks — and (because of unamended legal requirements) its work-order authorizations from some agencies on disks hand-delivered inside the Washington Beltway by courier. Contractors can be frustrated as well since, though they operate with top-of-the-line digital efficiency internally, they must sometimes downgrade to interface with their government clients.

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Not Ready for Prime Time: (1) An alreadydistinctive man (367 pounds) was arrested in Everett, Wash., for a December grocery-store shoplifting because he was also wearing an easily noticed purple sock and over two hours later was still wearing it when police caught up to him and questioned him. (2) A 23-year-old woman was arrested in Crestview, Fla., in November for shoplifting a “toy” from an adult store — before inquiring about a job there. She had professed her innocence until shown the surveillance video, when she said (according to the police report), “Oh, my God. Look at what I’m doing. … I’m gonna cry.”

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In October, an Ohio judge turned down a petition by Donald Miller Jr., asking to be ruled “alive.” “You’re still deceased as far as the law is concerned,” Probate Judge Allan Davis told him, because state law requires challenges to his declaration of death (obtained by Miller’s wife in 1994) to be filed within three years. According to The Courier of Findlay, Ohio, Judge Davis added, “I don’t know where that leaves you.”

S E N D YO U R W E IRD N E W S TO WE IR DNE WS@ E A RTH L I NK . N E T OR WWW. NE WS O F T HE WE I R D. C OM

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.25.2013/01.01.2014


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THE CHICKEN BROTH WAS SMOOTH AND GOLDEN, FLAVORFUL AND COMPLETELY SATISFYING

SINCERELY GLUTEN-FREE {BY ANDY MULKERIN} Caroline Shannon-Karasik long knew there was something a little off with her health. As a teenager, she’d get sick more often than most, and at one point was losing her hair. It wasn’t until 2010, though, that the Penn-Trafford and Point Park University grad got the diagnosis she’d waited so long for: celiac disease. Since then, Shannon-Karasik, who worked at magazines like Redbook in New York City before returning to Pittsburgh, has embarked on a journey to good health. She has led others there as well, with her blog, Sincerely Caroline, and an ebook on living well without gluten (which people with celiac can’t consume). On Jan. 2, her first book, The Gluten-Free Revolution, comes out via Skyhorse Publishing. The book, though it includes recipes, is more than a cookbook, she explains: “This is how I would live my healthy life — it’s not just recipes, but my entire day.” Expect information on exercise, even beauty tips — but for many, the recipes will be the draw. “My goal is obviously to reach out to anyone with celiac or gluten intolerance,” says Shannon-Karasik. “But I tried to make it clear to everyone that gluten-free in its natural form is just healthy, whole foods.” Not that she never indulges a little. “I try to make a point that you can have your green smoothie and your brownie, too. I spent a lot of my life thinking it was one or the other; it’s not.” AMULKERIN@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

More at: www.sincerelycaroline.com

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FEED

Nobody wants to start the New Year waking up in a smelly corner of Hangover Tavern. Dec. 31 is the night you keep that resolution you made way back on Jan. 1: “Next year, I won’t drink so much on New Year’s Eve.” Prudence is still your best hangover cure.

THE

NEW OLD

{PHOTOS BY HEATHER MULL}

{BY ANGELIQUE BAMBERG + JASON ROTH}

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FTEN, IT seems like the rich culi-

nary tradition of European Jews has been worn down to a couple of clichés, like chicken soup and pastrami on rye. Even when the representation of foods is broader, it frequently isn’t very deep, as for instance in delis where only one kind of knish or babka is for sale. Now, Nu Modern Jewish Bistro, in Squirrel Hill, steps up to fill that vacancy, bringing with it both breadth and depth in its exploration of the pleasures of Eastern European Jewish cuisine. And while the words “modern Jewish bistro” may at first seem oxymoronic, in fact the food on offer is well suited to recent trends of revisiting old-fashioned comfort foods, indulging in animal fats, and utilizing all parts of an animal, including those not traditionally consumed on American tables. Nu’s style is up-to-date, too. Food is served on wax paper on steel trays, and fried goods come in miniature versions of fry baskets. But we were glad “modern” did not extend to mean an attempt to reinvent the well-turned wheel of Jewish cooking. At

Montreal smoked-meat sandwich, pickle jar and coleslaw

Nu, matzoh-ball soup is matzoh-ball soup, and the egg cream is not tarted up with artisanal marshmallows or lavender essence. Some touches are distinctively modern, however. Fried pickles are hardly traditional, and the tabletop condiments include “apple ketchup” and housemade whole-grain mustard. A few Sephardic/Mediterranean dishes reflect the Jewish diaspora while offering

NU MODERN JEWISH BISTRO

1711 Murray Ave., Squirrel Hill. 412-422-0220 HOURS: Daily 11 a.m.-9 p.m. PRICES: Appetizers $4-6; soups, salads, sandwiches $5-13 LIQUOR: BYOB

CP APPROVED something for those seeking to go beyond meat and starch. And, while a corner of the menu is dedicated to simple, classic deli sandwiches, available on a variety of excellent breads, there are also coy takes on the sandwich traditions of other cultures. The Jewbano, for example, approximates the

effect of decidedly non-kosher ham and roast pork with brisket and “Montreal meat,” described (in the glossary on the back of the menu, no less) as a sort of Canadian hybrid of corned beef and pastrami. This plays the role of savory, slightly smoky ham, while the brisket offers the tender meatiness of a good roast. Nu’s menu, which trades lightly in Jewish humor and Yiddishisms, calls chicken soup “Jewish penicillin.” But the broth was no joke: smooth and golden, yet powerfully flavorful and completely satisfying even without the optional additions of matzoh balls, dumplings or noodles. Another soup, a wintry chick pea-tomato, was hearty, tasty vegetarian fare, but animal abstainers, take note: This chalkboard special was one of the few vegetarian-friendly items on offer. An appetizer platter let us try nearly all of Nu’s starters. The fried pickles, thick disks in substantial breading, were bite-sized and addictive, while latke tots were golden brown with creamy centers and loose tendrils of potato, fried crisp, outside. The apple ketchup offered some of the tartness that CONTINUES ON PG. 18

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THE NEW OLD, CONTINUED FROM PG. 17

makes tomato ketchup so satisfying with fried potatoes, as well as the juicy sweetness of applesauce. A blintz — ground brisket, garlic and onion rolled in a thin pancake wrapper — was meaty and delicious. Finally, a pierogi-like kreplach featured more ground-brisket filling, this time in a hearty egg-noodle wrapper, topped with gribenes. This mixture of diced onion and chicken skin, fried in schmaltz (chicken fat) until the onion melts and the skin crisps, is one of the all-time great garnishes. Jason ordered two sandwiches, one a classic brisket on rye, the other a “knishwich,” an innovation wherein hearty fillings are packed in the flaky dough of a knish, which traditionally is filled with mashed potatoes. Jason’s was a special, called “ABC” for apples, brisket and cheddar. The apple lightened and brightened the meat while the cheddar added a bit of richness within a wonderful, pastry-like crust. Creamy horseradish was an excellent companion.

NU chef Clint Newbould sorts noodles.

And then there was the Montreal meat sandwich. In Montreal — arguably North America’s greatest spot for delicatessen these days — brisket is prepared by brining, curing, smoking, then steaming the meat. Nu does this in-house and slices the resulting, meltingly tender meat into thick slices that are probably the best form of brisket Jason has ever had. This meat was incredible, and the Russian rye it was served on was no slouch, either. Angelique’s “BLT,” also served on this excellent rye, subbed in schmaltz-fried chicken skin that was at least as good as bacon, and added a schmear of chicken-liver paté for richness. An optional fried egg took this sandwich to the next level of delight. Nu makes the argument that Jewish cuisine deserves to be served alongside the world’s favorites. Its ability to transform once-stodgy dishes into thrilling experiences has us convinced. INF O @PGH C IT YPAPE R . C O M

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.25.2013/01.01.2014

On the RoCKs

{BY HAL B. KLEIN}

GUS-TATORY DELIGHTS Gus’s Café distinguished by beer list, gluten-free menu George Haritos has a simple vision for the just-opened Gus’s Café: “The plan is to make this a comfortable place.” Haritos named the friendly Lawrenceville bar and restaurant in honor of his late father, Konstantinos “Gus” Haritos: The elder Haritos owned Harris Grill on Ellsworth Avenue from the 1950s until 2001. The new venue is “inspired by my dad’s old bar and [D’s Six Pax & Dogz] in Regent Square,” says Haritos, who worked for his father at Harris Grill and, in the 1990s, created one of Pittsburgh’s first large craft and imported beer menus. Now, he has a different vision: “Everyone’s doing ‘all the beers you can do,’ but we want to do something a bit more intelligent. It’s about quality, not quantity,” he says. Still, with 16 drafts on tap and two refrigerators for bottles, there’s plenty of beer to choose from. Haritos says he plans on crowdsourcing a rotating selection with themed “beer-vs.-beer competitions” on Thursday nights, “Top Five” lists and customer polls. There’s also a small selection of gluten-free beers, to complement the 100-percent-gluten-free restaurant menu. “We’re going to be adding a bigger selection of gluten-free beer and hard cider soon,” promises chef Allegra Fisher. And while bartender Kelsey McCoy acknowledges “We don’t really have a craft cocktail menu,” the bar rack is stocked with a decent, and growing, selection of standard, mid-range brands, and a couple of finer spirits including yellow Chartreuse. Haritos says that he’s going to spend the next few months refining his bar. For example, look for a large, covered patio to be open by summertime. But already, Gus’s has achieved a slightly surreal vibe, like a funky neighborhood tavern. It fills a need for a friendly, no-frills (and no smoking), casual spot right between central and upper Lawrenceville. “I want this to be a place where you want to come hang out every night,” says Haritos.

“EVERYONE’S DOING ‘ALL THE BEERS YOU CAN DO,’ BUT WE WANT TO DO SOMETHING A BIT MORE INTELLIGENT.”

INFO@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

4717 Butler St., Lawrenceville. 412-3157271 or www.facebook.com/Gusscafe


& D Lun rink ch, Spe Dinn cial er sD aily !

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2224 E Carson St SOUTHSIDE (at Birmingham Bridge)

RING IN THE NEW YEAR WITH: NORTH HILLS Celebrate the start of 2013 with our delicious New Year’s Eve menu! We’ve put together some of your favorites plus some new entrees to create a New Years Eve menu that you are sure to love!

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LUNCH, DINNER & DRINK SPECIALS DAILY! BOOK YOUR HOLIDAY PARTY AT 412.320.1990! 2019 EAST CARSON STREET, SOUTHSIDE WWW.BOBBYHENDRIXPGH.COM N E W S

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Serving Homemade Breakfast & Lunch Daily

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THE FOLLOWING DINING LISTINGS ARE RESTAURANTS RECOMMENDED BY CITY PAPER FOOD CRITICS

DINING LISTINGS KEY J = Cheap K = Night Out L = Splurge E = Alcohol Served F = BYOB

ALI BABA. 404 S. Craig St., Oakland. 412-682-2829. Service is quick at this Middle Eastern restaurant, designed to feed students and nearby museumstaff lunchers. It can get loud and close during busy times, but the atmosphere is always convivial. A wide-raging menu ensures that carnivores and herbivores alike leave satisfied. JE

@PGHCityPaper Make Us Your One Stop Shop!

Let Us cater Your Upcoming Event!

Kitchen Hours: Kit Monday-Saturday 6am - 3pm Sunday 6:30am - 2:30pm

www.colecafe.com

CAFÉ RAYMOND. 2103 Penn Ave., Strip District. 412-281-4670. A perfect place to catch lunch or a snack during Strip District shopping forays, this little café offers an array of artisan breads, French pastries, fine cheeses and refined delicatessen fare. The few tables up front — augmented by sidewalk seating in season — have the feel of a bright, cozy, Parisian café. J

blogh.pghcitypaper.com

Work yourself into a lather. Rinse. Repeat.

CAFÉ VITA. 424 Allegheny River Blvd., Oakmont. 412-828-5506. EGGS N’AT. 8556 University Embracing the inherent Blvd., Moon Township. dichotomies of brunch, 412-262-2920. This stylish this restaurant offers and cheery diner offers both traditional Italian, a variety of pancakes, complete with panini, as well as sandwiches www. per pasta, ratatouille and a and combo platters p pghcitym eggplant parmesan; and .co of breakfast foods. The classic breakfast fare, such “Mama Evans” pancakes as omelets and French toast. are filled with blueberries Italian notes pervade some of and bacon, a combination that the breakfast options, too: You’ll is smoky, sweet and savory all at find French toast made with once. Also on offer: muffuleta, a focaccia, and omelets served with New Orleans-style multi-layered Tuscan toast. JF and pressed sandwich. J DELUCA’S. 2015 Penn Ave., Strip District. 412-566-2195. DeLuca’s doesn’t have the White House cachet of Pamela’s, but the portions are large and the quarters are close. On weekends, it’s one of Pittsburgh’s great gathering places. Try the “Super Bowl” omelet. J DINETTE. 5996 Penn Circle South, East Liberty. 412-362-0202. This refined California-inspired pizzeria and wine bar offers a small menu mostly featuring gourmet thin-crust pizzas. The focus here is on fresh, local and sustainable. Inventive pizzas include toppings such as wilted greens, littleneck clams, goat cheese and Brussels sprouts. Guests at the wine-bar counter get a front-row seat for the pizza-making. KE ECHO. 1740 Route 228, Cranberry. 724-779-3246. The menu at this sophisticated restaurant offers a tour de force of modern American cuisine. It focuses on central ingredients and adds layers of flavor, sometimes in unexpected forms, such as a purée

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.25.2013/01.01.2014

of tuna alongside grilled steak, or golden trout served on a bed of orzo with a fennel-cream sauce. But even a simpler dish, such as fettuccini Alfredo, is perfectly executed. LE

FULL LIST E N O LIN

1718 Mt. Royal Blvd, Glenshaw, PA 15116 Phone: (412) 486-5513

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Johnny’s {PHOTO BY HEATHER MULL} IL PIZZAIOLI. 703 Washington Road, Mount Lebanon. 412-344-4123. This popular neighborhood café serves Neapolitan-style pasta and pizza, including the scandalously cheesy quattro formaggi pizza. The front room overlooks bustling Washington Avenue; in season, lucky diners can enjoy the rear garden courtyard. KE JOHNNY’S. 112 Westinghouse Ave., Wilmerding. 412-824-6642. This Wilmerding institution offers well-prepared ItalianAmerican cuisine and a welcoming atmosphere around a horseshoe bar. The menu offers the expected standards in the pasta, veal, chicken, meat and seafood categories. But overall, the preparations are fairly up-todate: exceptionally bright and slightly chunky marinara, fluffily battered calamari and legitimately spicy arrabiatta. KE LEGENDS OF THE NORTH SHORE. 500 E. North Ave., North Side. 412-321-8000. Despite its name, Legends is no sports bar: It’s a family-friendly restaurant with a local flavor. The menu is almost exclusively Italian: Offerings include classics such as gnocchi Bolognese and penne in vodka sauce, and more distinctive specialties such as filet saltimbocca. KF Lula {PHOTO BY HEATHER MULL} HARRIS GRILL. 5747 Ellsworth Ave., Shadyside. 412-362-5273. A neighborhood bar and grill (with two outdoor patios) where fun is as important as the fresh food and the cold beer. What else to make of a place that serves “Britney Spears” (chicken tenders on a stick), Cheeses of Nazareth and The Wrongest Dessert Ever, and offers free bacon at the bar on Tuesdays? JE

LULA. 515 Broad St., Sewickley. 412-749-1200. Seating at this informal tapas bar is loungestyle indoors, and in warm weather, along the sidewalk at café tables. The menu, which also offers a few entrees, is eclectic, and suggestive of Mediterranean cafés, with plenty of seafood, cured meats, cheeses and seasonal produce. Portions are adequate for sharing, if you can bear to part with, say, asparagus spears wrapped in ham. KE


offMenu

MALLORCA. 2228 E. Carson St., South Side. 412-488-1818. The ambience here is full of Old World charm, with just a touch of hipness bolstered by attentive service. The fare is Spanish cuisine, and there’s no mistaking the restaurant’s signature dish: paella, featuring a bright red lobster tail. In warm weather, enjoy the outdoor patio along lively Carson Street. KE

{BY JESSICA SERVER}

SNOW AND SPICE Bar Marco’s Jamilka Borges shares a Puerto Rican holiday treat

NOLA ON THE SQUARE. 24 Market Square, Downtown. 412-471-9100. Offering a boldly refined take on straight-up, traditional New Orleans food, NOLA’s menu is an invitation to kick back, relax and savor the flavors: cheesy griddle grits with a chunky tomato sauce and green beans; oyster stew; and catfish strips paired with spicy papaya. KE

SAVOY. 2623 Penn Ave., Strip District. 412-281-0660. The Strip District now has a swanky spot for brunch and dinner. The artfully prepared cuisine suggests a cross between current fine-dining culture (locally sourced foods, sous vide meats), lounge favorites (sliders and fish tacos) and Southern comfort (chicken with black-eyed peas and greens, watermelon salad). LE

Jamilka Borges {PHOTO COURTESY OF ALAINA WEBBER}

SALVATORE’S PIZZA HOUSE. 612 Penn Ave., Wilkinsburg. 412-247-4848. A neighborhood pizza place and more, Salvatore’s offers something even rarer than good pizza: fast food of the finest quality. “Fresh” is the watchword, and the large, full-color takeout menu has dozens of dishes in a score of categories. Shellfish are prominently featured, and worth trying. K SAUSALIDO. 4621 Liberty Ave., Bloomfield. 412-683-4575. Casual elegance is the byword at this neighborhood venue, where the fare is inspired by Northern California cuisine, with seasonal ingredients combined into New American and Continental dishes. The preparations vary widely, from ultra-traditional offerings like crab-stuffed shrimp to au courant updates like duck with orangeapricot balsamic glaze. LF

innovating menus for the restaurant’s tasting room as “the ultimate chef dream.” But when it comes to holiday meals, she still prefers traditional foods. Borges learned to “love the idea of feeding people” from her mother, who would start a new dish with a main ingredient and build on it with what was available. And growing up in Puerto Rico meant access to endless fresh produce, “along with a crazy amount of pork.” Now, far from home, Borges opts for holiday dishes that remind her of family, such as roasted pork with garlic, pumpkin soup and coquito — “the Puerto Rican version of eggnog,” Borges explains. “Coquito is something that I have on hand through the holidays,” she says. And in Borges’ family, the holidays continue for months: “The [Christmas] celebration starts on Thanksgiving Day and continues until ‘Dia de la Candelaria,’ on Feb. 2.” For seasonal cheer well past the New Year, pair Borges’ signature holiday beverage with her family’s favorite non-food tradition: the Song Game. “Every New Year’s Eve, we each play a song that moved us that year and explain why,” Borges says. “It goes from funny to sad and back.”

Jamilka Borges’ Coquito Recipe

STATION STREET. 6290 Broad St., East Liberty. 412-365-2121. A neighborhood hot-dog joint with exotically dressed dogs, including: chili cheese (with curds), Hawaii (pineapple and bacon), kimchi, sweetbreads and “devil” (egg salad, Tabasco and potato chips). Also offers tacos. JF

INGREDIENTS 2 cans coconut milk 2 cans evaporated milk 2 cans cream of coconut 4 cinnamon sticks 2 tbs. cloves 2 tbs. star anise 1½ cups water 1 cup white rum 1½ cups dark rum

THAI GOURMET. 4505 Liberty Ave., Bloomfield. 412-681-4373. Located in a narrow former lunchroom, Thai Gourmet is the casual, no-nonsense and no-frills member of Pittsburgh’s Thai restaurant club. The prices are on the low end, but the food quality is high and the portions are huge. The decor mixes Asian themes with diner kitsch in a delightful way. JF

INSTRUCTIONS 1. Place all the spices in a small pot and cover with the water, let simmer until water is reduced by half. 2. Mix all the liquid ingredients — except for rum — and bring to a low simmer, stirring constantly. 3. Combine the spiced water with cream mixture and strain through a mesh; let cool. 4. When cool, add rum and transfer to a glass container. Let it rest in the fridge for a day, then enjoy over ice.

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from oaxaca & mexico city at the mexican underground In the strip

DRAFT BEER, SNACKS & DOMESTIC CANS Mon- Fri 4:30 – 6:30pm -----------------------------------------900 Western Ave. NORTH SIDE Open Daily at 11 am 412-224-2163

2031 PENN AVE | @CASAREYNAMEX OPEN TUES-SUN | HAPPY HOUR 4-6 PM DAILY WE CATER! CALL FOR INQUIRIES: 412.904.1242

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Skinny Pete’s Kitchen Famo us , s BBQ R i b & Br i s k e t a n ri Ve ge t a ie s! t Sp e c i a l

Pittsburgh Restaurant Week is Here! Vote for Us @ pittsburghrestaurantweek.com/prabby-vote/

Skinny Pete’s is available for your event or let us bring it to you! Whether it’s your family or co-workers let us do the work! Please email for available dates and info! Info@skinnypetes.com

ERS E B T F A R 40 C N TAP! O

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savor authentic flavors

BAR MARCO’S chef de cuisine, Jamilka Borges, describes

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A Unique Luncheon and Gourmet Food Destination

CREENS S V T G I B 8 S FOR SPORT

Gift Certificates Available! Dine-In or Take-Out

New Hours For 2014 Monday 9a-3p • Tuesday-Thursday 9a-6p

24th & E. Carson Street “In The South Side”

Friday 9a-8p • Saturday Brunch 9a-2p

412-415-0338

412.390.1111 100 Adams Shoppes “Cranberry/Mars”

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Check out our New & Improved website!

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LOCAL

ALBUMS WE LOVED, SHOWS WE MADE (OR MISSED) AND LIMBS WE BROKE THIS YEAR

BEAT

{BY ANDY MULKERIN}

SPACE COUNTRY

LUKAS READ with MICHELLE GREGIO. 7 p.m. Sat., Dec. 28. Pittsburgh International Children’s Art Gallery, 5020 Penn Ave., Garfield. All ages. $5 (suggested donation; benefits Thomas Merton Center). www.facebook.com/lukasreadmusic

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My Top Five Shows of 2013

+ Swans

at the Rex Theater, June 14. I felt a lot of things at this show: unending sonic vibrations through my chest, lower back pain, impatience, near-bliss. As much an endurance test as anything, Swans played for over two hours and I, for one, oscillated between extreme fatigue and the hope that it would never end.

+ Taylor Swift

, Heinz Field, July 6. Fireworks! Confetti! Costume changes! This was probably the most over-the-top spectacle I’ve ever witnessed. But despite these trappings, Taylor’s magic lies in her ability to make a sold-out show at a football field feel intimate.

Angel Olsen

+ Angel Olsen

{PHOTO COURTESY OF ZIA ANGER}

+ Bill Callahan

, The Andy Warhol Museum, Sept. 24. Olsen’s 2012 release, Half Way Home, was lovely, but as soon as her voice filled the Warhol’s theater, it was clear that no recording could do her justice. Combining Sandy Denny’s folk warble with the showy power of Judy Garland, Olson was captivating.

, Carnegie Lecture Hall, Oct. 9. I’ve heard some accuse Bill of going a tad “easy-listening” on his latest record, Dream River. Not an entirely unfair charge, perhaps, but I’ve never seen anyone rock the soft rock so hard.

My Top Five Albums of 2013

+

5. Deltron 3030: Event II. Del once again provides an incredibly insightful and poignant comment on contemporary culture, though the album takes place 1,000 years in the future.

+

4. Sovron Court: Waves and Wheels. This year saw the Mansfield, Ohio, songwriter make strides in both songwriting and musicianship. Waves and Wheels is a gem of a record from an artist with enough moxie to open up with a Simon and Garfunkel cover.

+

3. The David Mayfield Parade: Good Man Down. Superb guitar playing, as one would expect; Good Man Down is David Mayfield’s best sonic achievement to date.

+

2. They Might Be Giants: Call You Mom. Like all TMBG records, it’s hard to nail down a genre. Some surf elements are explored here, as well as some masterful cool jazz moments. It’s cute, it’s clever, it rocks, it’s really catchy, it’s They Might Be Giants.

+

1. Run the Jewels: Run the Jewels. Looking back, it seems as if Killer Mike’s 2012 release R.A.P. Music was intended as a foreshadowing of a more deeply collaborative effort with producer El-P. The dynamic production and aggressive flow of both rappers on Run the Jewels make this a near perfect record. BY SETH PFANNENSCHMIDT

and Hivelords, The Rock Room, July 13. Last year, I called the the Sadgiqacaea/Hivelords stop at Howlers the “Best Show that No One Saw.” Fortunately, the Philly-based tour mates enjoyed better turnout this time around. Hivelord’s psychedelic black metal mesmerized, and dark, sludgy two-piece Sadgiqacea played riffs so heavy I may have cried just a tiny bit.

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.25.2013/01.01.2014

BY MARGARET WELSH

+

Five Great Things Musicians Told Me in 2013

“I’m happy that the AV Club recognizes that we have a shitty band name. They definitely increased traffic to our Facebook and Twitter pages quite a bit.” — Matt Holden, Legs Like Tree Trunks

+

“I’m in a pop-punk band called The SpacePimps! What can you do? You have to own it. But in a humble way. You can’t be surprised when someone says, ‘You’re in a band called The SpacePimps!’ Of course we are!” — Rishi Bahl of The SpacePimps

+

“The thing that I like about aging is that I made a lot of stupid mistakes in my life as a twentysomething person, and I actually like the process of getting older, because I feel like I do less stupid things.” — Samantha

Crain

+

“I started on a regular saw from Home Depot because I thought this was the kind Erika of hobby Laing that probably wouldn’t last — so I better get something that’ll also cut wood, just in case.” — Musical-saw player Erika Laing, of Faithful Sinners

+

+ Sadgiqacea

Killer Mike

AMULKERIN@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

2013 YEAR IN REVIEW

Gone to Texas: Lukas Read {PHOTO COURTESY OF LAILA ARCHULETA}

When Lukas Read was living in Pittsburgh, you may have known him for his work with Whiskey Holler, an indie-rock band with occasional alt-country threads. But after that band broke up last year, Read (real last name: Truckenbrod) decided, after living his whole life in Pittsburgh, it was time to move on — to one of the country-music capitals of the world. “I was craving an experience in a different scene, just to test my own abilities — give it a different litmus test as an artist,” he says. “You need to hear other people doing their thing, expand your horizons.” So he ended up last January in Austin, Texas. “It’s definitely a musician’s destination,” he says. “It’s growing so fast, even in the year I’ve been here — it challenges you to stay on top of things. If you’re doing something you think is unique, chances are someone else is doing it, too, and maybe even better than you are.” What Read is doing now is a solo project that shows more classic-country influences; his debut, Ramble Man, Ramble, is complex in its composition, but easy on the ears. He works in a bit of American-primitive guitar work, which is also the basis for an installation-style show he’s playing upon his return to Pittsburgh this week. Read will play music to accompany a set installation created by Michelle Gregio. “She likes to experiment with a lot of organic material — bones, vegetation, grasses — very visceral, earthy tones,” he explains. “The music I’ll be playing is more the American-primitive, solo acoustic style of guitar. It will be more purely performance-art based.” Using some amplification tricks, Read says, the music will toy with ideas related to live sound. “It’s putting space — reverb, which is a synthetic representation of space — within a space. It’s kind of like building aural-spatial dimension.” The show will also serve as a release event for the physical CD version of Ramble Man, which Read released electronically earlier in the fall.

“I wanted to take him on tour, but he’s actually 32 years old. They can live a long time, but I was worried that it being winter, and traveling and all that. He’s a tropical bird, so, yeah.” — Saul Conrad, on his sometimestourmate and pet parrot, Chico BY ANDY MULKERIN

CONTINUES ON PG. 24



2013 YEAR IN REVIEW, CONTINUED FROM PG. 22

HAPPS The new fun & free event app that allows you to discover all of the area’s most popular happenings in one convenient location.

Download the App for a chance to win:

Five Pairs of Artists I’d Like to See Collaborate in 2014

+

Willie Nelson and Hank Williams III. Let’s face it: When

you’re 80 years old and you make an album of duets with the likes of Carrie Underwood, Sheryl Crow and Wynonna Judd, and you call it “To All the Girls,” you’re about to hang it up. Just one more would make a pretty cool passing of the torch.

Springsteen + Bruce and John Darnielle

. This one sounds good on paper but I’m willing to admit that it could go south.

+ Yoni Wolf and the RZA + M.I.A. and Chuck D

.

Oh man, that would be sweet.

. So much evil could be intelligently articulated then subsequently destroyed if these two made a record.

A FENDER SQUIER VINTAGE MODIFIED JAZZMASTER SPECIAL

& ROCKSMITH 2014

Vincent and Dweezil + St. Zappa

. The result of this pairing could be the most adventurous prog album of all time. BY SETH PFANNENSCHMIDT

Top 5 Things I Listened to While Stuck at Home With a Broken Foot

+ Kurt Vile

: Wakin on a Pretty Day. The only problem with this expansive, dreamy, almost perfect double-LP was hobbling to the turntable to change side B to side C.

GAME FOR XBOX 360! DOWNLOAD NOW OR TEXT “EVENTS” TO 77948

+

Nic Lawless

Nic Lawless/Young Criminales: Sunless. The Nic

Lawless release show was the first fun thing I had to miss for injury reasons. Good thing I already had a copy of the band’s excellent feel-good/feel-bad garage punk record to tide me over.

+ Julia Holter

: Loud City Song. Another favorite from 2013, Holter’s lush, cinematic pop is perfect for spacing out whilst not feeling sorry for yourself.

Rage Against the + The Machine catalog

. When you have a moment, I’d love to share my thoughts on how — now more than ever — America needs the wisdom of the Anti-Myth Rhythm-Rock Shocker.

+

Brought to you by:

The opening theme from Friday Night Lights. And the

closing-credits theme. And, you know, all the stuff in between. BY MARGARET WELSH

24

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.25.2013/01.01.2014

Three Shows I Enjoyed a Great Deal in 2013

+ Jessica Hernandez

and the Deltas, Howlers, Jan. 4. This was the first great show I saw in 2013! To be Jessica Hernandez honest, it was the first show I saw at all in 2013. But it set a high bar — Hernandez is a ball of energy, and her band is spot-on, replete with baritone sax, my favorite of the woodwinds.

+ Mount Moriah

, Club Café, June 13. Mount Moriah is the joint effort of two North Carolina musicians — Heather McEntire (Bellafea) and Jenks Miller (Horseback) — whom I’ve long followed separately. Together, they’re even better, and this one was a treat.

+ Lake Street Dive

, Peoples Natural Gas Park, Sept. 13. This is a little bit of a cheat because my band opened this show, but I’m glad it got me out to Johnstown for this one, because Lake Street Dive put together a hot set on a chilly fall evening. It’s almost unfair for four people who are such good instrumentalists to also have the ability to harmonize so well vocally. BY ANDY MULKERIN

Three Shows I Regret Having Missed for One Damn Reason or Another in 2013

+ Phosphorescent

, Club Café, March 27. This was the time to see Matthew Houck — after the release of Muchacho, but before the record absolutely blew up. I understand the show sold out anyway; and next year he returns, but at the bigger Mr. Small’s.

+ Ezra Furman

, Club Café, Oct. 17. This was the second time Ezra Furman came through town this year — and the second time I couldn’t make it out. Day of the Dog was near the top of my favorite releases in 2013, though, and when I did see him live a couple years ago, it was great.

+ Broncho

, Brillobox, Nov. 5. This garage-punk band’s explosive debut was re-released this year, and it headlined this show, its second in Pittsburgh this year. Kicking myself over this one. BY ANDY MULKERIN

Three Favorite Albums Released by Bands Named After Celebrities in 2013

+ Lindsay Lowend: Wind Fish + Joanna Gruesome: Weird Sister Dale Earnhardt Jr. Jr.: + The Speed of Things BY TYLER CRUMRINE


OPUS ONE PRESENTS

NEW RELEASES

Five Favorite Albums I Downloaded For Free on Bandcamp in 2013

{BY ANDY MULKERIN}

+ WHATEVER, DAD + Sweet Valley + xmas movie soundtrack Sam Rockwell + McCafferty, Machete Champion, Chris Joecken + Fun Home :

100% Take Home! :

SV

:

The Fog of Yore

: This Will Mean Nothing :

Wasting Time

BY TYLER CRUMRINE

MARIO DONES BLACK WATERMELON

Three Pittsburgh Shows I Regrettably Missed Because I Was Broke as Hell in 2013

(SELF-RELEASED)

First full-length from one of the city’s more underrated MCs. Dones takes topics that are common in hip hop — money, race and references to hip hop itself — but delivers his thoughts in ways that avoid cliché. He shows range, too, spitting fast on some tracks and taking it easy on others. Nice jazz-tinged tracks from producers like Buscrates, Nice Rec and Lazy J. In 2014, look out for Mario Dones.

+ The Mountain Goats Red Western/Grand + The Piano + El-P and Killer Mike at Carnegie Music Hall, June 11

split-LP release at Brillobox,

March 8

at Altar

Bar, July 13

BY SETH PFANNENSCHMIDT

THEY EAT THEIR OWN THE OFF LABELS EP1 (SELF-RELEASED)

My Favorite Local Album Cover of 2013 Shaky Shrines: Mausoleum. Commence with the “Nate is dead” rumors. BY ANDY MULKERIN

Three Famous Fathers Whose Controversial Musician Children Got More Attention Than Them in 2013

+ Billy Ray Cyrus + Alan Thicke + Keorapetse Kgositsile (Miley Cyrus)

(Robin Thicke)

(Earl Sweatshirt)

BY TYLER CRUMRINE

N E W S

+

In the early ’90s, They Eat Their Own was a Los Angeles band that heralded the beginning of the alternativerock era. Today, singer and songwriter Laura B. is living in Pittsburgh, and this record showcases six tracks of her more recent work. She maintains the strong vocals and earnest girl-power vibes of the band’s earlier iterations; at times, the sound is proggy or even metalinflected, and at times it’s straight alt-pop. Angsty “The More You Change” is a highlight, and “The Resignation Song” is nice musically, if a bit literal lyrically. Nice stuff here.

12/26 BILL DEASY'S ANNUAL BOXING 12/27 12/28 12/28 01/03 01/04

TRICYCLE BICYCLE CYCLE VOYAGE TO THE VALE OF CASHMERE

01/09 01/10 01/10 01/11

(SELF-RELEASED)

EP from the Pittsburgh-and-Baltimorebased indie band. Sweet, upbeat stuff reminiscent at times of Beulah and, to an extent, ’60s sunshine pop. Nice jams, especially the slower, semipsychedelic “When I Get There.” The lead vocals are generally naïve and, well, indie-rockish. But when the harmonies come out, it’s truly divine.

01/11 01/16 01/21

TICKETWEB.COM/OPUSONE | FACEBOOK.COM/OPUSONEPROD | TWITTER.COM/OPUSONEPROD FOR A COMPLETE LIST OF SHOWS VISIT WWW.OPUSONEPRODUCTIONS.COM

AMULKERIN@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

TA S T E

+

M U S I C

+

DAY SHOW FT. THE GATHERING FIELD VIBRO KINGS STEEL CITY COMEDY TOUR (EARLY) BLUE OF COLORS (LATE) THE HOFFMAN ROAD BAND THE ME TOOS, LOCKS AND DAMS & SEPHUS LEE (LATE) THE SEMI-SUPERVILLAINS BILLY THE KID (EARLY) SCOTT AND ROSANNA (LATE) THE MIXUS BROTHERS CD RELEASE (EARLY) PLAYING MANTIS (LATE) RHETT MILLER (SOLO) ANDY ALLO

S C R E E N

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WONDERING WHAT OBAMACARE MEANS

CRITICS’ PICKS

FOR YOU?

Pity Sex

Planned Parenthood can help you figure it out. To attend one of our enrollment sessions or to learn more about the new health care law, visit www.ppwp.org. Contact our Patient Health Care Coordinator at 412.258.9539. To receive important updates text ENROLL to 97779 1.800.230.PLAN www.ppwp.org

6 centers throughout western PA

Woodz Band. Let Glabicki, Berlin and Ba company send you on your way into s 2014. (Oh, and no teens sneaking into this one, please; it’s 21 and over.) AM ple E. Carson St., South Side. $40. 9 p.m.1602 E 412-381-6811 or www.rextheater.com

[SOUL] + TUE., DEC. 31

invite you to relive your Prom Night or make up for your last one at this New Years Eve’s

Second Chance Prom

• Women receive a corsage and Men receive a complimentary flask • Get your picture taken as the “King and Queen” of Prom. • Balloon Drop at Midnight • Assortment of appetizers and hors d’oeuvres will be provided • Music provided by DJ Steve with EventuresLive • Open bar from 9:00 p.m. until 2 a.m. featuring Woodchuck Cider 140 6TH STREET • PITTSBURGH, PA • 15222 • 412.255.0525 www.olive-twist.com 26

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.25.2013/01.01.2014

[LOCAL] + TUE., DEC. 31 Here’s yet another way to ring in the New Year: Year with a bunch of local bands and DJs at a the Ultra Dive! Tonight, The Harlan Har Twins reprise a past role as Belvedere’s New Year’s Eve house Belve band, and a bring with them hard rockers Outsideinside and DJs Pandemic Pandem Pete and Nice Rec. It’s sure to be a diverse assortment of music, and it’s also the one night a year you can drink drin champagne at Belvedere’s, so there’s there that. AM 9 p.m. 4016 Butler St., Lawrenceville. $10. 412-687-2555 Law

[IN [INDIE ROCK] + T THU., JAN. 02

[WORLD-POP] + TUE., DEC. 31 Was a time when the biggest ticket in town — for twentysomethings, and for teens who o were getting away with a little e something — was Rusted Root’s ot’s annual New Year’s Eve show. Those kids are grown up now, but Pittsburgh’s h’s biggest band of the ’90s is back for another go this year. It’s at the Rex Theater on the South Side, and the Root is joined by a couple other local bands: Bastard Bearded Irishmen men and Derek

{PHOTO COURTESY OF JC GUILLAUME}

Olive or Twist and Woodchuck Cider

He did time as a James Brown impersonator, had stints of homelessness sness and was the subject of a biographical raphical documentary; now Charles Bradley, adley, y on the heels of his 2013 release se Victim of Love, plays Pittsburgh’s h’s First Night celebration. The now-65-year-old Bradley broke e out in 2011 with his debut, No o Time for Dreaming, on Daptone ne Charles Records, which has a knack forr Bradley finding underappreciated soull musicians and putting them in n the limelight. Not unlike the man he once impersonated, Bradley ey is renowned for the physical endurance he demonstrates on stage, and the whole family can an check him out tonight at the Highmark Stage, on Penn Avenue, enue, Downtown. Andy Mulkerin 10:45 p.m. (First Night events run from 6 p.m. to after midnight.) .) Cultural District, Downtown. All-access buttons $8-10. All ages. 412-456-6666 56-6666 or www.firstnightpgh.org

Fuzzy, early-emo-sounding guitar rock started its comeback in 2013; Pity Sex showed up just in time. The sh Ann Arbor four-piece released its first full-length, Feast of Love, summer on Run for Cover, this sum recalling any number of punk and bands of the late ’90s and early indie ban from Weston to I Hate Myself. ’00s — fro The band sstarts its early-2014 run of shows with one tonight at the Smiling Self Defense Family, Lvl Up Moose. S Adventures open. AM 6:30 p.m. and Adve Carson St., South Side. 1306 E. C $10. All ages. 412-431-4668 or a www.smiling-moose.com www


We buy

TO SUBMIT A LISTING: HTTP://HAPPENINGS.PGHCITYPAPER.COM

412.316.3388 (FAX) + 412.316.3342 X194 (PHONE)

all day

{ALL LISTINGS MUST BE SUBMITTED BY 9 A.M. FRIDAY PRIOR TO PUBLICATION} REX THEATER. The Clarks, The Badlees. South Side. ALTAR BAR. Go Go Gadjet. 412-381-6811. Strip District. 412-263-2877. SMILING MOOSE. CLUB CAFE. Vibro Kings, CIOPPINO SEAFOOD Embers to Ashes, Old Lords, Jean-Marc & Kevin of Grapevine. CHOPHOUSE BAR. Terrance Klaymore. South Side. South Side. 412-431-4950. Vaughn Trio. Strip District. 412-431-4668. CLUB COLONY. 412-281-6593. THUNDERBIRD John Sarkis. Scott. CLUB CAFE. Bill Deasy’s CAFE. Shelf Life 412-668-0903. Annual Boxing Day Show feat. String Band, THE HANDLE The Gathering Field. South Side. Jayke Orivis & BAR & GRILLE. 412-431-4950. the Broken Band, . w w Tony Janfl one, w GARFIELD ARTWORKS. r Broke Stranded & citypape h g p Jr. Canonsburg. Embracer, Motion Theatre, Ugly. Lawrenceville. .com 724-746-4227. Trophies, My Thoughts In Color. 412-682-0177. HOWLERS COYOTE Garfield. 412-361-2262. CAFE. Fyah Wyah. HOWLERS COYOTE CAFE. Bloomfield. 412-682-0320. Urban Pioneer, Mickey & ALTAR BAR. Led Zeppelin 2. LOUGHLIN’S PUB. Déjà Vu. The SnakeOil Boys, Bill Jasper, Strip District. 412-263-2877. MANSIONS ON FIFTH. Chrome Moses. Bloomfield. ALTMAN’S TAVERN. Tony Bill Deasy. Shadyside. 412-682-0320. Janflone Jr. Pleasant Hills. MR. SMALLS THEATER. REX THEATER. Buku, LeMoti, ANDREW CARNEGIE Keller Williams, More Than A Robbie Rockso. South Side. FREE LIBRARY MUSIC Little. Millvale. 866-468-3401. 412-381-6811. HALL. Lenora Nemetz. OLIVER’S POURHOUSE. THUNDERBIRD CAFE. Carnegie. 412-276-3456. Hamilton Ave. Greensburg. Big Leg Emma, The Trainjumpers. BUCKHEAD SALOON. Lawrenceville. 412-682-0177. 724-836-7687. Walk of Shame. Station Square. 412-232-3101. CLUB CAFE. Blue of Colors, End Of America, Jon Bindley (Late). South Side. 412-431-4950. DOWNEY’S HOUSE. Total Package. Robinson. 412-489-5631. GARFIELD ARTWORKS. Wei Zhongle, Yoshiko Ohara, Dream Weapon, 8 Cylinder. Garfield. 412-361-2262. HAMBONE’S. Ray Lanich Band. Lawrenceville. 412-681-4318. HARD ROCK CAFE. 28 North. Station Square. 412-481-7625. HARVEY WILNER’S. Shiners. West Mifflin. 412-466-1331. HOWLERS COYOTE CAFE. Black Hand Night, Dead Batteries, Substitute for Quality. Bloomfield. 412-682-0320. KNUCKLEHEAD’S BAR. The Dave Iglar Band. Ross. MOONDOG’S. theCAUSE. Blawnox. 412-828-2040. MR. SMALLS THEATER. Lindsay Rakers, Coronado, The Artless. Millvale. 866-468-3401. REX THEATER. The Clarks, The Hawkeyes. South Side. It may be the day after Christmas, but this 412-381-6811. ROCHESTER INN HARDWOOD week’s MP3 Monday comes from a local Christmas GRILLE. Waiting for Ray. compilation: Production Procedures Productions Ross. 412-364-8166. SMILING MOOSE. put together a comp called Pittsburgh vs. Klaymore, Homicide Black, Seasonal Depression, and Sunless Sky, Curse Born. South Side. 412-431-4668. by Dumplings THUNDERBIRD CAFE. is included. Stream or download it free on our Bear Cub. Lawrenceville. 412-682-0177. music blog, FFW>>, at pghcitypaper.com.

FRI 27

ROCK/POP THU 26

FULL LIST ONLINE

SAT 28

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BUY TICKETS NOW AT JERGELS.COM

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724.799.8333 JERGELS.com

CONTINUES ON PG. 28

N E W S

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CONCERTS, CONTINUED FROM PG. 27

SUN 29 CLUB CAFE. Cabinet, The Unknown String Band. South Side. 412-431-4950. HAMBONE’S. Black Honey Rollers. Lawrenceville. 412-681-4318. HOWLERS COYOTE CAFE. Jeremy Caywood, No Exception, Don’t Trust Larry, Aurora-Music. Bloomfield. 412-682-0320. SMILING MOOSE. Fireworks. South Side. 412-431-4668.

TUE 31 ALTAR BAR. Against Me!, The Sidekicks, The Shondes. Strip District. 412-263-2877. BELVEDERE’S. Harlan Twins, Outsideinside, Pandemic, Nice Rec. Lawrenceville. 412-687-2555. THE BULLPEN. Silkwood Shower. 724-356-3000. BVLD PUB & KITCHEN. Lucky Me. Canonsburg. 724-746-2250. HAMBONE’S. New Years Eve Party feat. Jeremy Caywood, Mike Strasser, Brian Vamp Liss Vickery, Amber Bamber, more. Lawrenceville. 412-681-4318. THE HANDLE BAR & GRILLE. Michael Todd. Canonsburg. 724-884-5944. HOWLERS COYOTE CAFE. Live Band Punk Rock Karaoke. New Years Eve Bash. Bloomfield. 412-682-0320.

MOONDOG’S. Norman Nardini & Friends. Blawnox. 412-828-2040. MR. SMALLS THEATER. Foxy Shazam, Gene The Werewolf, Dazzletine. Millvale. 866-468-3401. REX THEATER. Rusted Root, Bastard Bearded Irishmen, Derek Woodz Band New Year’s Eve Extravaganza. South Side. 412-381-6811. THUNDERBIRD CAFE. City Dwelling Nature Seekers, Wreckloose. Lawrenceville. 412-682-0177. WYEP COMMUNITY BROADCAST CENTER. Joy Ike. South Side. 412-381-9131.

WED 01 ALTAR BAR. Fist Fight In The Parking Lot. CD release. Strip District. 412-263-2877. THE HANDLE BAR & GRILLE. Sputzy Sparacino. Canonsburg. 724-746-4227.

DJS THU 26

SUN 29 SMILING MOOSE. The Upstage Nation. DJ EzLou & N8theSk8. Electro, post punk, industrial, new wave, alternative dance. South Side. 412-431-4668.

TUE 31 ALLEGHENY WINE MIXER. Miss Mungo. Lawrenceville. 412-252-2337. FREE RIDE! Sara V., Pandemic, Gusto, Noetik 5000, DJ Thermos, S. Timov. Homewood. 412-254-3774. MEXICO CITY. DJ Juan Diego Inc. Merengue, Bachata, Cumbia, Reggaeton, Electronico. Downtown. 412-980-7653. THE NEW AMSTERDAM. Brotha Mike, DJ Skooze. Lawrenceville. 412-904-2915. SMILING MOOSE. Bill Bara, Mad Mike, TyFun, Rick Diculous. South Side. 412-478-3863.

FULL LIST E N O LwIN w.

WED 01

BLOOMFIELD BRIDGE TAVERN. ALLEGHENY w r e p a p Fuzz! Drum & bass pghcitym WINE MIXER. .co weekly. Bloomfield. SMI. Lawrenceville. 412-682-8611. 412-252-2337. THE NEW BELVEDERE’S. Neon w/ AMSTERDAM. Brotha Mike, DJ hatesyou. 80s Night. DJ Skooze. Lawrenceville. Lawrenceville. 412-687-2555. 412-904-2915. CLUB TABOO. DJ Matt SPOON. Spoon Fed. & Gangsta Shak. Homewood. Hump day chill. House music. 412-969-0260. aDesusParty. East Liberty. PARK HOUSE. Jx4. North Side. 412-362-6001. 412-224-2273. PERLE CHAMPAGNE BAR. Bobby D. Downtown. 412-471-2058. SMILING MOOSE. Bill Bara, THE HOP HOUSE. Yoho’s Mad Mike, TyFun, Rick Diculous. Yinzide Out. Green Tree. South Side. 412-478-3863. 412-922-9560. SLOPPY JOE’S. Wil E. Tri & the Bluescasters. Mt. Washington. BACKSTAGE BAR AT 412-381-4300. THEATRE SQUARE. Salsa Fridays. DJ Jeff Shirey, DJ Carlton, DJ Paul Mitchell. Downtown. MOONDOG’S. Riff Mitchell & 412-456-6666. the Soul Survivors Holiday Bash. CAPRI PIZZA AND BAR. Blawnox. 412-828-2040. Bombo Claat Friday’s Reggae. East Liberty. 412-362-1250. LAVA LOUNGE. 80’s EXCUSES BAR & GRILL. Alternative. DJ Electric. Bill Toms. South Side. South Side. 412-431-5282. 412-431-4090. ONE 10 LOUNGE. DJ SHEREE’S TAVERN. Bobby Goodnight, DJ Rojo. Downtown. Hawkins Back Alley Blues. 412-874-4582. THE VALLEY HOTEL. ROWDY BUCK. Top 40 Dance. Ron & The RumpShakers. South Side. 412-431-2825. 412-233-9800. RUGGER’S PUB. 80s Night w/ DJ Connor. South Side. 412-381-1330. THE R BAR. The Midnight Horns. Dormont. 412-942-0882. CAPRI PIZZA AND BAR. Saturday Night Meltdown. Top 40, Hip Hop, Club, NOLA ON THE SQUARE. John R&B, Funk & Soul. East Liberty. Gresh Gris Gris. Downtown. 412-362-1250. 412-471-9100. DIESEL. DJ CK. South Side. 412-431-8800. ROWDY BUCK. Top 40 Dance. South Side. 412-431-2825. S BAR. Pete Butta. South Side. ANDYS. Maura Minteer. Downtown. 412-773-8884. 412-481-7227.

BLUES THU 26

FRI 27

FRI 27

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SUN 29

SAT 28

TUE 31

JAZZ

THU 26

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.25.2013/01.01.2014


EARLY WARNINGS {PHOTO COURTESY OF JARROD MCCABE}

GARFIELD ARTWORKS. Tom Roberts & Friends. Live accompaniment to the Charlie Chaplin films The Rink & 1 A.M. Garfield. 412-361-2262.

SAT 28 ELWOOD’S PUB. Marshall Street Rents. 724-265-1181. OLIVE OR TWIST. The Vagrants. Downtown. 412-255-0525. OLIVER’S POURHOUSE. John Gilkey & Rachel. Greensburg. 724-836-7687.

Lake Street Dive

WED 01 ALLEGHENY ELKS LODGE #339. Pittsburgh Banjo Club. Wednesdays. North Side. 412-321-1834. PARK HOUSE. Bluegrass Jam w/ The Shelf Life String Band. North Side. 412-224-2273.

{THU., MARCH 20}

Gary Numan

Altar Bar, 1620 Penn Ave., Strip District

REGGAE

{SAT., MARCH 29}

TUE 31

Lake Street Dive

BREWSTONE. The Flow Band. 412-825-6510.

Mr. Small’s Theatre, 400 Lincoln Ave., Millvale

COUNTRY

{TUE., APRIL 01}

Tinariwen

THU 26

The Andy Warhol Museum, 117 Sandusky St., North Side

CJ’S. Roger Humphries & The RH Factor. Strip District. 412-642-2377. LITTLE E’S. Jessica Lee & Friends. Entrepreneurial Thursdays. Downtown. 412-392-2217. THE WINTERGARDEN. The Boilermaker Jazz Band. Downtown. 412-434-1928.

FRI 27 ANDYS. Maureen Budway. Downtown. 412-773-8884. MARVA JO’S BISTRO. The Tony Campell Band. McKeesport. 412-664-7200. OMNI WILLIAM PENN. Frank Cunimondo/Pat Crossley. Downtown. 412-553-5235.

SAT 28 ANDYS. Tania Grubbs. Downtown. 412-773-8884. CIOPPINO SEAFOOD CHOPHOUSE BAR. Roger Barbour Jazz Quartet. Strip District. 412-281-6593. CJ’S. The Tony Campbell Saturday Jazz Jam Session. Strip District. 412-642-2377. CLUB COLONY. David Crisci. Scott. 412-668-0903. MARVA JO’S BISTRO. The Tony Campell Band. McKeesport. 412-664-7200. NINE ON NINE. Dane Vannatter & Max Leake. Downtown. 412-338-6463.

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ELWOOD’S PUB. Midnight Rooster. 724-265-1181.

FRI 27

SUN 29

SILKS LOUNGE AT THE MEADOWS. Todd Jones. Washington.

MANSIONS ON FIFTH. Jeff Lashway. Shadyside. OMNI WILLIAM PENN. Frank Cunimondo. Downtown. 412-553-5235.

OTHER MUSIC

TUE 31 ANDYS. Jazz at Andys Quartet. Downtown. 412-773-8884. BELLA SERA BY GRECO’S. The Benny Benack Band. Canonsburg. 724-745-5575. CLUB COLONY. Take Two. Scott. 412-668-0903. CROWNE PLAZA HOTEL. NAT w/ Walt Maddox. A tribute to Nat King Cole. Bethel Park. 724-746-1178. LEMONT. Judi Figel, David Crisci. Mt. Washington. 412-431-3100.

ACOUSTIC DOWNEY’S HOUSE. Aaron from The Lava Game. Robinson. 412-489-5631.

SAT 28 ROCKY’S ROUTE 8. Wee Jams. 412-487-6259.

MON 30 HAMBONE’S. Cabaret Jazz Standards & Showtunes Sing-a- long. Lawrenceville. 412-681-4318.

SILKS LOUNGE AT THE MEADOWS. In the Mood. Washington.

HOLIDAY MUSIC

FRI 27 1810 TAVERN. Jay Wiley. 724-371-0732. BIDDLE’S ESCAPE. Jon Banuelos. Regent Square. 412-999-9009. ELWOOD’S PUB. Acoustical Bruce. 724-265-1181.

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DEL’S RESTAURANT. Marco Fiorante. Bloomfield. 412-683-1448.

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SAT 28 BEULAH PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH. The Morehead Family. Christmas Praise.

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What to do

IN PITTSBURGH

Dec 26 - Jan 1 Nick Marzock Band

JERGEL’S RHYTHM GRILLE Warrendale. 724-799-8333. No cover. 8p.m.

Harlem Globetrotters CONSOL ENERGY CENTER Downtown. Tickets: ticketmaster.com or 1-800745-3000. 7p.m.

Bill Crawford

IMPROV Waterfront. Over 21 show. Tickets: pittsburgh. improv.com or 412-462-5233. Through Dec. 28.

Big Leg Emma / The Trainjumpers

THUNDERBIRD CAFE Lawrenceville. 412-682-0177. Over 21 show. Tickets: greyareaprod.com. 9p.m.

FRIDAY 27 Go Go Gadget

ALTAR BAR Strip District. 412-263-2877. With special

guests The Vagrants. Over 21 show. Tickets: ticketfly.com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 9p.m.

21 show. Tickets: ticketfly.com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 10:30p.m.

Lindsay Rakers

An Evening with Keller Williams

MR. SMALLS THEATRE Millvale. 412-821-4447. With special guest Coronado & The Artless. All ages show. Tickets: 866-468-3401 or ticketweb. com/opusone. 730p.m.

MR. SMALLS THEATRE Millvale. 412-821-4447. With special guest More Than a Little. All ages show. Tickets: 866-468-3401 or ticketweb.com/opusone. 9p.m.

SUNDAY 29

SATURDAY 28

PHOTO CREDIT: JOAN MARCUS ©2013

THURSDAY 26.

PAID ADVERTORIAL SPONSORED BY

Led Zeppelin 2

ALTAR BAR Strip District. 412-263-2877. Over 21 show. Tickets: ticketfly.com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 9p.m.

Blue of Colors

CLUB CAFE South Side. 412-4314950. With special guest End of America & Jon Bindley. Over 21 show. Tickets: ticketweb.com/ opusone. 10:30p.m.

GHOST THE MUSICAL

28 NORTH

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 1 HEINZ HALL

HARD ROCK CAFE Station Square. 412-481-ROCK. Over

Cabinet

newbalancepittsburgh.com Kevin Brennan NYE Countdown Show

IMPROV Waterfront. Over 21 show. Tickets: pittsburgh. improv.com or 412-462-5233. 10:15p.m.

Against Me!

ALTAR BAR Strip District. 412-263-2877. With special guests The Sidekicks, The Shondes & more. Over 21 show. Tickets: ticketfly.com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 8:30p.m.

CLUB CAFE South Side. 412431-4950. With special guest Unknown String Band. Over 21 Highmark’s First Night Pittsburgh show. Tickets: ticketweb.com/ CULTURAL DISTRICT Downopusone. 8p.m. town. 412-456-6666. Buy your button at Giant Eagle, Box Office at Theater Square or Foxy Shazam firstnightpgh.org. 6p.m. MR. SMALLS THEATRE Millvale. 412-821-4447. With special guests Gene the Ghost The Musical Werewolf & Dazzletine. All HEINZ HALL Downtown. 412ages show. Tickets: 866-468392-4900. Tickets: trustarts. 3401 or ticketweb.com/ org. Through Jan. 5. opusone. 9p.m.

TUESDAY 31

WEDNESDAY 11

DOWNLOAD THE FUN & FREE CP HAPPS APP TO FIND THE MOST POPULAR EVENTS IN PITTSBURGH

Download the fun & free CP HAPPS APP To find the most popular events in Pittsburgh Available on the App Store and Google Play.

GIVE YOURSELF THE GIFT OF GOOD HEALTH

Men’s Walking New Balance 840

WEXFORD

10616 PERRY HWY 724-940-2400 Women’s Walking New Balance 980

WATERFRONT 112 W. BRIDGE ST 412-464-1002

Warm Wishes For a Happy and Healthy New Year from the Staff of New Balance Pittsburgh 30

PITTSBURGH’S LARGEST SELECTION OF PITTSB IN EVERY SIZE AND WIDTH

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.25.2013/01.01.2014

WALKING SHOES

OAKLAND

3810 FORBES AVE 412-697-1333 FACEBOOK.COM/ NEWBALANCEPGH


DIRTY SEXY MONEY

BY THE TIME THE FILM BOTHERS TO FOCUS, IT’S ALMOST TOO LATE

{BY AL HOFF} Martin Scorsese’s comedy The Wolf of Wall Street ostensibly details the rise and fall of real-life stockbroker Jordan Belfort (Leonardo DiCaprio), but it’s a cautionary tale that like its coked-up protagonist insists on having a wild time right up until the last scene. Belfort got rich pitching dubious penny stocks in the late ’80s, before going not-quite-legit on Wall Street and really raking in the mega-bucks. Oh, to be young, insanely rich, powered by primo drugs and with no pesky moral compunction about skirting the law. Wolf is the American Dream in satirical hyperdrive — at one point, Belfort describes his firm to his employees as an “Ellis Island” gateway to wealth. It’s all manically elucidated by its bullshit-spewing golden boy, who treats our prevailing myth with both useful cynicism and fervent belief.

SKETCHES OF LIBERATION {BY BILL O’DRISCOLL}

M

Freedom is less a bad movie than an impossible one. Director Justin Chadwick and screenwriter William Nicholson try to cram 50 years from one of the most iconic lives of the past century into a single feature film. So even at well over two hours, and with the very capable Idris Elba as Nelson Mandela, most of it can’t help feeling rushed and superficial. The source material is the late Mandela’s autobiography, but Chadwick’s movie seldom feels very intimate. Mandela the young Johannesburg barrister is portrayed as a mostly apolitical womanizer, and later we see the toll his early anti-apartheid activism takes on his family. But Long Walk to Freedom is basically Mandela’s Greatest Hits, played out against a hastily sketched backdrop of a wrenching half-century of South African history: Cue African National Congress recruiters. Marriage to second wife Winnie Madikizela. Shift from nonviolence to armed resistance. Arrest and trial. Sharpeville massacre. Soweto riots. Most viewers who’d care, of course, already know the story: Mandela was jailed for 27 years as a terrorist, but his steadfast belief in justice for his nation’s black majority culminates in

Livin’ the dream: Jordan Belfort (Leonardo DiCaprio)

CP APPROVED

DiCaprio delivers a freewheeling but focused performance as Belfort, with solid support from Jonah Hill as his partner. The new-and-improved sleazy Matthew McConaughey steals another scene as Belfort’s first tutor, and Rob Reiner has a moment regarding anger issues. It’s non-stop cash, cars, hookers and blow: It’s meant to be appalling — excess with a capital XXX — but also amusing (with plenty of laugh-out-loud comedy) and vicariously exhilarating. We understand this is all wrongwrongwrong (and you gotta root for the FBI agent when he’s played by Kyle Chandler), but man, is this a heady blast. You’ll root for Belfort’s downfall, not because he deserves it (he does) or because you need the narrative closure, but because this vicarious three-hour ride is simply exhausting. Go big, or stay home.

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his freedom, free national elections and an historic presidency. Unfortunately, Chadwick doesn’t pause for enough of the hows and whys to make the narrative truly engrossing. Long Walk feels like a long historical pageant, the drama drained. And while the film plays up Mandela’s brief time as an underground saboteur, we miss politically crucial (if less sensational) elements of his activism, like labor organizing. By the time the film bothers to focus, it’s almost too late. Only in a few scenes, when the now-venerable prisonerstatesman secretly meets with government officials, do we get a solid sense of Mandela the master politician.

MANDELA: LONG WALK TO FREEDOM DIRECTED BY: Justin Chadwick STARRING: Idris Elba, Naomi Harris

Also interesting is Chadwick’s focus on the tribulations of Winnie (Naomie Harris), whose treatment in prison was harsher than her husband’s (if much briefer), and whose story is less well known. In fact, ultimately, you realize that what Chadwick most wanted was to make a tragic historical romance, in which Mandela’s eventual commitment to peaceful change drives a wedge between him and the more militant Winnie. While their relationship warrants a film in itself, it, too, is shortchanged here. Given Elba’s dignified yet passionate performance, Long Walk is a fair tribute to Mandela’s towering legacy. But his is a story whose full telling just might require a book — or at least a mini-series. D RI S C OL L @ P G HC I T Y PA P E R. C OM

Power play: Idris Elba as Nelson Mandela

AHOFF@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

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FILM CAPSULES CP

= CITY PAPER APPROVED

NEW

Now through Jan. 1, 2014

ANCHORMAN 2: THE LEGEND CONTINUES. San Diego anchorman Ron Burgundy (Will Ferrell) moves on to a 24-hour news channel in New York City, with his team in tow: sports guy (David Koechner), reporter (Paul Rudd) and weatherman (Steve Carell). Frankly, not much is different in Adam McKay’s sequel to the 2004 hit: Burgundy is still a self-absorbed doofus, and this is still a sketch-comedy idea stretched way too thin. It’s not nearly as funny as it thinks it is — even Woody Harrelson, as Burgundy’s new Australian boss, can’t get a laugh. In the nearly empty theater, other patrons mostly checked their phones, and came alive only during the film’s final scene, which finds the fun in non-stop news and delivers some welcome cameos. But it’s a long two hours of filler to get there. (Al Hoff) 47 RONIN. Carl Rinsch directs this samurai actioner loosely adapted from the eponymous Japanese folk tale. Keanu Reeves stars as Kai, a half-Japanese, half-British warrior who is recruited into a revenge campaign. In English, and Japanese, with subtitles. THE GREAT BEAUTY. When occasional journalist and Rome society fixture Jep Gambardella (Toni Servillo) turns 65, he grows more contemplative of his life: Has it all been a whirl of parties, bullshit and frivolous pursuits? Is there any meaning, or any future? Director Paolo Sorrentino (Il Divo) examines this query in his loosely plotted but visually dazzling film. The luxurious homes, the crumbling Roman ruins, the gorgeous ennui of the decadent elite, the bright colors, sly wit and surreal moments will remind viewers of similar Fellini films. (So too will the nearly two-and-a-half-hour length.) Like any satire of contemporary Italy, some foreknowledge is helpful, particularly of Catholicism and politics. ((Watch the idle rich debate who was more socialist once.) xistential troubles of You might find the existential niversal — must all Gambardella not quite universal ack to that one men’s emptiness trace back heir adolesence? unattainable woman in their nce for this sort But if you have the patience amedy, this is a of arty, stylized Euro dramedy, ning example. In fine and mostly entertaining arts Fri., Dec. 27. Italian, with subtitles. Starts Regent Square (AH)

Grudge Match this hackneyed affair, but probably only a full case of Iron City can deliver the knock-out punch you need. (AH) JUSTIN BIEBER’S BELIEVE. Some of you can’t get enough of the fresh-faced Canadian pop singer who lately has been providing a lot of amusing fodder for TMZ. For you Beliebers, a new behindthe-scenes doc from Jon M. Chu.

CP

Sponsored locally by

Vote for your favorite City Paper cover of 2013 for a chance to WIN a CP prize package! tinyurl.com/CityPaper2013 (you must be signed into our website to be entered into the drawing) CONTEST ENDS 01/08/14

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.25.2013/01.01.2014

his comedy GRUDGE MATCH. In this from Peter Segal, a pair of eNiro, retired boxers (Robert DeNiro, axed Sylvester Stallone) is coaxed out of retirement for one eir last fight to settle their t’s long-running rivalry. It’s a full complement off y grumbling, sniping, crusty managers, sweaty man boobs, some family obligations and an uninteresting revelation or two before the “big fight.” (Who cares who wins?) The tale is set in Pittsburgh, but was filmed in New Orleans.. (Oh hey, skydiving overr Lake Pontchartrain!) I ity suppose the Steel City location is supposed to y to add gritty authenticity

The Secret Life of Walter Mitty

THE SECRET LIFE OF WALTER MITTY. About halfway through Ben Stiller‘s adaptation of James Thurber’s eponymous short story, I realized with a start: Stiller must not have actually read the tale about the mild-mannered Mr. Mitty, who escapes g fanciful daydreams. y his dull life through Or perhaps he started it and never finishe finished it. (It’s only 2,100 th seems unthinkable words long.) Or, and this straig for a pretty straightforward piece of bu you never know: comic writing, but Stiller did read it, but didn’t get it. Because in this version, Mitty St (portrayed by Stiller) starts out as a meek employee of Life magazine, t ling in the photo toi pho room and having toiling the odd moment of fanciful thinking. Then a ridiculous bit of plotti plotting sends him on an act actual world adventure. Lik straight-up alphaLike ma male stuff: fighting sh sharks, skateboarding th through a volcanic er eruption and hanging o out with Sean Penn in tthe Himalayas. This is n not the wispy dream life of a pathetic nobody, but instead the bona fide Outside magazine tour de manhood iin which our ugly d duckling emerges a as a kick-ass swan w whom chicks dig. Color me baffled. If SStiller wanted to go to Ic Iceland (looks cool) and m make a movie about The Great Beauty


YOUR MARTINI BAR DESTINATION (IN THE NORTH HILLS)

HAPPY HOUR 5-7PM DAILY

Wadjda a guy who finds himself through a bit of world travel, why couldn’t he just do that? Why bring the long-suffering Walter Mitty into it? (AH)

retired into obscurity at the height of her fame in 1957, narrates the film. 7 and 9 p.m. Sat., Dec. 28, and 7 p.m. Sun., Dec. 29. Hollywood

WALKING WITH DINOSAURS 3-D. It’s all giant lizards and freaky birds in this prehistoric tale about an underdog dinosaur who becomes a hero. (Hey, maybe he ends up in a museum!) The animated 3-D film is directed by Barry Cook and Neil Nightingale, and features the voices of John Leguizamo and Justin Long.

CHARLIE CHAPLIN SHORTS. Two Chaplin short films — “One A.M.” and “The Rink” — will be screened and accompanied by music performed by Tom Roberts and Friend. 8 p.m. Sat., Dec. 28. Garfield Artworks, 4931 Penn Ave., Garfield. $10. All ages. 412-361-2262

There’s perhaps nothing so CP WADJDA. remarkable about a sweet, low-key comingof-age story about a young girl who’s determined to live life on her own terms. But there is when that film is set and filmed in Saudi Arabia, a nation where the public and even private roles of women are strictly curtailed. Add in that this is the first feature film produced in Saudi Arabia and made by a woman, Haifaa Al Mansour — and Wadjda is notable just for existing. But it’s worth seeing on its own merits. Young Waad Mohammed is wonderful as tomboyish preteen Wadjda, who lives with her (married but somewhat single) mother, and dreams of owning a bicycle. She enters a Koran-recitation contest at her school (there is a cash prize), while also navigating a complicated route into womanhood. Wadjda never vocalizes it, but Mohammed lets us see how dismayed she is to discover that with age, her world is shrinking rather than expanding. In Arabic, with subtitles. Starts Fri., Dec. 27. Harris (AH)

365 DAYS: A YEAR IN HAPPY VALLEY. This new documentary from Erik Proulx was filmed in and around Penn State in the wake of the Jerry Sandusky scandal. 3 p.m. Sun., Dec. 29. Oaks. $12 (must be purchased in advance at www.365daysthefiulm.com)

$5 MARTINIS, HOUSE WINES & APPETIZERS

Sustainable Seafood Contemporary American Cuisine

JUMP. In this new Irish drama from Keiron J. Walsh, the daughter of a Belfast crime boss is saved from a suicide attempt by a stranger on New Year’s Eve. 7:30 p.m. Thu., Jan. 2. Hollywood ANDY WARHOL FILMS. Selections from Warhol’s Factory Diaries series (1971-75) and other shorts screen. Ongoing. Free with museum admission. Andy Warhol Museum, North Side. www.warhol.org

REPERTORY PRETTY OLD. The beauty tyranny for women never stops … or does it? Walter Matteson’s doc looks at the Ms. Senior Sweetheart Pageant, held in Massachusetts, in which the ages of the participating ladies range from 67 to 84. 4 and 7 p.m. Thu., Dec. 26. Hollywood LAWRENCE OF ARABIA. David Lean’s 1962 epic made of a star of Peter O’Toole. In it, O’Toole — who died recently — portrays British adventurer T.E. Lawrence, who joined the Arabs to fight the Turks in the World War I era. Also starring Alec Guinness, Anthony Quinn, Omar Sharif. See it on a big screen. 7 p.m. Fri., Dec. 27; 2 p.m. Sat. Dec. 28; and 2 p.m. Sun., Dec. 29. Hollywood BETTIE PAGE TELLS ALL. Mark Mori’s new documentary looks at the short but influential career of Bettie Page, whose mid-century pin-up work still has many admirers today. Page, who

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Pretty Old (2012) - 12/26 @ 4&7pm

30 women, aged 67-84, compete in a beauty pageant.

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Lawrence of Arabia (1962)

12/27 @ 7pm, 12/28 @ 2pm, 12/29 @ 2pm

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Bettie Page Reveals All (2013)

12/28 @ 7&9pm, 12/29 @ 7pm

LIKE US ON FACEBOOK @BLUE_DINING

Bettie Page recounts the true story of how free expression helped launch American’s sexual revolution. 1449 Potomac Avenue, Dormont 412.563.0368 www.thehollywooddormont.org

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[BOOK REVIEWS]

LIT BRIEFS {BY BILL O’DRISCOLL}

“I WANT TO SEE WHAT AN ARCHEOLOGIST WHO GOES THROUGH THE RUINS OF OUR SOCIETY WOULD.”

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The late Marilyn Bates’ memoir Bloodwork: Married to Diabetes for Six Decades is as wry as its title suggests, but somehow not nearly as depressing. Bates, a Steubenville native, grew up overly acquainted with Pittsburgh hospitals because of childhood diabetes; she spent her latter years in Pittsburgh as a high school and college writing teacher, even while losing all her toes to the disease. In between come vividly recalled medical humiliations from youth; recollections of her steadfast mother and feckless, alcoholic father; her socially awkward years at Carnegie Tech; and two disastrous marriages. Much of Bloodwork (The Wooster Book Co., $10) details how her diabetic’s insecurity warped her personality; she even attempts to summarize the recent history of diabetes research and treatment. But Bates — who died in October, at age 73, just weeks after this 128-page book’s publication — examines with equal shrewdness the poor dietary habits that returned to haunt her and her longheld belief that to be happy she needed a man. At her best, she has a poet’s eye, and with equal parts pluck, introspection and gallows humor, she leaves you feeling that the hard lessons were worth the learning.

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Bates also had a mastectomy, which she mentions almost casually. But double-mastectomy and breast-cancer treatment are the whole subject of Micki Myers’ singular It’s Probably Nothing … Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love My Implants (Simon & Schuster, $19.99). Myers, a Pittsburgh-based writer and food blogger, has written “a memoir in poems” — plain-spoken, mordantly funny free-verse observations about things they don’t tell you about “in the helpful cancer books,” as Myers writes. The 100 pieces on these 139 smallformat pages feel like journal entries — a mostly chronological account of some particular day’s troubles or ironies. “When you are dying of cancer,” Myers writes, “putting on your seat belt / every single time / seems unnecessary.” Her voice is, above all, a real one: The first poem is titled “Oh Fuck! I Have Cancer!” and she unflinchingly covers everything from wigs and bras to sex and medicinal marijuana. But while you might call Myers “brave,” she never would, and the book’s all the better for it. Myers was about 40 when she got cancer, and as It’s Probably Nothing ends, she has largely regained her health (and proudly claimed brand-new 36Bs). But like Bloodwork, this memorable book will make you ponder your own mortality, however wryly.

FROM DETRO IT TO DETRITUS [ART REVIEW]

{BY NICK KEPPLER}

T

HE MATTRESS Factory seeks out art from the world’s potential conflict zones and ideological fault lines. Scouts from the North Side institution visited Cuba during the George W. Bushera deterioration of relations with the island nation. Before that, they traveled to India, site of an unending drama of sectarian violence, hampered modernization and chronic poverty. “We go places that are in a state of constant change,” says Michael Olijnyk, the museum’s co-director and co-founder. “We find that interesting art comes from places where there is a vast span between the rich and poor, and the status quo seems like it can’t last.” The most recent collapsing hellscape to which they booked a flight: Detroit. Sadly, the half-shuttered Motor City apparently has the kind of Third World-y atmosphere that draws The Mattress Factory. “It felt like Eastern Europe after the Wall fell,” says Olijnyk. “It was barren. Entire streets were abandoned. People were living in houses that didn’t have utilities.” At this ground zero of America’s middle-class implosion, Olijnyk and his associates found Scott Hocking, whose work engaged the more ruinous qualities of his hometown. Hocking’s installations have utilized stacks of old concrete, masses of plastic bags and the shells of scrapped cars. He has also photographed

DRISCOLL@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.25.2013/01.01.2014

{IMAGE COURTESY OF THE MATTRESS FACTORY AND TOM LITTLE PHOTOGRAPHY}

Scott Hocking’s Coronal Mass Ejection (detail)

the explicit graffiti that dots the city. Hocking, 38, sees himself as an artistarcheologist of a land that became like Troy or Pompeii too soon. “I try to hold up a mirror to hard times and ancient times,” says Hocking. “I want to see what an archeologist who goes through the ruins of our so-

CORONAL MASS INJECTION continues through May 25. The Mattress Factory, 500 Sampsonia Way, North Side. 412-231-3169 or www.mattressfactory.org.

ciety would.” Olijnyk says he was impressed by the way Hocking “exposes us to things that have disappeared in our lifetime.” Hocking became one of six Detroit artists to accept a Mattress Factory residency. He built an installation entitled Coronal Mass Ejection in the museum’s bare, partially furbished basement. The work consists of two components: One incorporates Pittsburgh’s own far-gone industrial past, while the other utilizes some of his best finds from Michigan’s sea of abandoned spaces. Entering the room, the first thing one notices is what looks like a blast furnace


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[ART]

EMBEDDED {IMAGE COURTESY OF THE BECKER COLLECTION}

{BY RAY CAVANAUGH}

Joseph Becker’s “Distributing Thanksgiving Favors to the Soldiers of the Army of the Potomac During the Siege of Petersburg, November 24, 1864”

half excavated from the gallery floor. The full-sized replica is made out of plywood and foam, but it looks real. Building it in the basement gallery, Hocking used oxidizing paint to give it a rusty look matching the floor. There is even a hatch on top, suggesting the space from which molten metal would flow. Viewers might see this sculpture as a tribute to Pittsburgh, Hocking’s host city, and in fact it was modeled after the furnace located beneath Rankin’s Carrie Furnace Hot Metal Bridge. Hocking sees it as “a big phallic object, with a vagina on the top. Symbolically, it talks about the hermaphroditic ideal that exists across mythologies.” (A “coronal mass ejection,” by the way, is a massive burst of solar wind that might wreak havoc on power grids. It’s “another form of destruction imagery,” says Hocking. “It also has to do with worship of this massive blast furnace.”) The back of the room, meanwhile, features an assortment of found objects from two dilapidated Michigan tourist traps. Along the back wall is a choir-like formation of 4-foot-tall figures from a Bible theme park. (Imagine the generic robed people found in an illustrated children’s Bible.) Peppered throughout the scene are dinosaur figurines. The juxtaposition calls to mind the much-mocked Creation Museum, in Kentucky. Hocking, however, is not making a direct commentary. “I see the room as a mix of symbols you would see if you dug up our society and saw it raw,” he says. The Bible figures come from the defunct Good Shepherd Scenic Gardens, near Traverse City, Mich. The founder’s son was willing to part with them for $20 a pop. The dinosaurs once adorned Prehistoric Forest, near Michigan’s border with Ohio. (Hocking’s most imposing purchase from that park, a 10-foot-long sloth, was relegated to the Mattress Factory parking lot.) There is more to the space than initially meets the eye. Many viewers neglect to notice a ladder on the wall: The seamless combination of gallery space and artwork means that it’s mistaken for part of room, not part of the exhibit. But climb up and look down a hatch and you will see a warm, red interior, recalling the fires that burned out in so many area blast furnaces a generation ago. There might be more inside this sculpture; Hocking won’t say. He also doesn’t explicitly want to encourage visitors to break museum rules about touching artwork, let alone climbing inside a piece. But he will say this: “I spent most of my career illegally breaking into warehouses and abandoned places. I won’t tell anyone not to do the same with my work.”

These days, anyone can (and often does) take numerous pictures of anything. But during the Civil War, getting images from battlefields required skilled illustrators (notwithstanding the pioneering work of photographer Mathew Brady). The works of these embedded artists are the subject of Civil War Era Drawings From the Becker Collection, a touring exhibit now at the Frick Art & Historical Center. The Becker Collection is named for Joseph Becker, a Pottsville, Pa., native born in 1841. He never had any formal artistic training, but newspaper mogul Frank Leslie could discern his artistic potential, and assigned him to follow the Union Army and produce illustrations of what he saw. More than 80 of these drawings saw print in Frank Leslie’s Illustrated Newspaper. Becker was right in the thick of Gettysburg and on the scene four months afterward for Lincoln’s legendary dedication. He would later manage the publication’s art department until his retirement in 1900. He died in 1910. The works of artists like Becker gave rise to the triumphant reign of weekly illustrated publications — Frank Leslie’s, Harper’s Weekly, Collier’s Weekly, etc. — that dominated American media for decades. In today’s world, any news junkie with web access can obtain gratification about as fast as light travels. But during the Civil War epoch, people largely relied on weekly publications to keep them abreast of national news. Illustrated weeklies shaped America’s cultural landscape. They covered the big events, uncovered the big scandals and were the main forum for public discourse and creative expression. Civil War Era Drawings was curated by Judith Bookbinder and Sheila Gallagher. The exhibit’s illustrations — many of them rendered in graphite and charcoal — are not just of the battlefront. Rather, a wide range of other subject matter is explored: soldiers amusing themselves in camp; prayer meetings; and army washerwomen keeping uniforms as clean as possible. Though Becker is the exhibit’s primary artist, he is not the only one; others include Frederic Schell and Edwin Forbes. A standout illustrator is Andrew McCallum, who deftly captures the drama of a night attack on the city of Petersburg, Va.

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One of the top Bluegrass bands in America, Dailey and Vincent quickly established themselves as fresh voices in their genre. Their fantastic vocal blends gained them well-deserved attention from bluegrass, country and gospel critics and fans alike.

• JANUARY 10 • 8PM FRIDAY Orchestra $25, $20; Loge $25; Balcony $20 The Palace Theatre 724-836-8000

ow Folls! U

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www.thepalacetheatre.org FREE PARKING FOR EVENING & WEEKEND SHOWS!

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CIVIL WAR ERA DRAWINGS FROM THE BECKER COLLECTION continues through Jan. 12. Frick Art & Historical Center. 7227 Reynolds St., Point Breeze. 412371-0600 or www.thefrickpittsburgh.org

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Register today for the NEW SEMESTER!

Events

[BOOKS]

hAPPen here We review the first 50 pages of recent releases

SUNDAY FUNDAY! January 5 U 12:00-2:30pm Try FREE classes!!

{BY BILL O’DRISCOLL}

Including Hip Hop, Acting, Musical Theater, and Creative Theater.

+

Visit pittsburghCLO.org for a complete schedule

CLASSES AVAILABLE for ages 3-18 Next semester beginss January 13 ! ENROLL ONLINE or NEW CLAesSS 8-11. ag for P HO P HI call 412-281-2234 TODAY! REGISTER

OR TEXT “EVENTS” TO 77948

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.25.2013/01.01.2014

WALT AND Samantha married 12 years ago, and they still flirt. The thing is, they’re divorced. But they see each other a lot: Walt, a failed-academic-turnedhandyman, lives above Sam’s garage — even though she’s now married to Arthur, a straitlaced professor of dentistry. Mason Radkoff’s wonderful debut novel, The Heart of June (Braddock Avenue Books, $16.95), follows terminally easygoing Walt Farnham through a crosssection of Pittsburgh, from Sam’s old house in Friendship to his favorite dive bar and the Shadyside mansion of Miss June, the octogenarian spinster who was the surrogate mother of his childhood and is now his most reliable employer. As sure as Miss June lives in the past (alongside her heroic lover who died tragically), Walt can never complete anything, in life or carpentry: The marker of a Farnham job could be found throughout the finer homes of Squirrel Hill and Shadyside — odd bits of missing trim, the occasional absent cabinet door or pane of glass adding a Mister Potato Head quality to an otherwise fine job. The mild guilt Walt felt about this was offset by his being equally bad about asking for money. Plus, he often left tools in their garages as unwanted collateral. The way he saw it, his customers usually came out ahead.

Radkoff, himself long employed as a carpenter, slips easily between Tom Waits-y barroom vaudeville, comedies of academic manners a la Richard Russo and the tender, bickering odd-couple relationship between Walt and Miss June. Radkoff draws on an apparently bottomless well of expert character-based humor: There is seemingly no sort of person whom he can’t be amused by, and more often than not delighted. The Heart

of June is an excellent tonic for misanthropy.

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ADAM MATCHO’S

The Novelty Essays (WPA Press, $13) are dispatches from the modern blue-collar reality: a life not of building stuff, but (at best) of selling crap made in some distant sweatshop. For Matcho, that meant sex toys, costume jewelry and other trinkets at a mall “party place.” To be sure, the author as he depicts himself hasn’t made things easier: At 25, he’s twice flunked out of college, and he and his wife have a baby to support. Even as he takes a third stab at a degree, he’s a pothead who swills rum on the job. But the achievement in these 14 darkly funny essays — typically extended first-person anecdotes with ruminative asides — lies in Matcho’s general refusal to place himself over his customers (or co-workers), even when they might deserve it. In “Minor Surgeons,” Matcho and an equally clueless co-worker learn how to pierce ears — but not, officially, noses; Matcho offsets the immaturity of his first “patient” by recalling his teenage pride in his own disastrous nose-piercing, “the most important decision I had ever made.” And the beautifully blunt “Not It” finds Matcho overcoming his own discomfort with assisting a badly disabled customer. As much as Matcho loathes the store, he admits, Work was the only place I had any sort of social advantage. I knew everything about everything in this novelty store and nobody condescended to me when they needed help finding the perfect colored base for their new lava lamp, or a coffee mug with a stupid saying about turning 60, or when they had a cheap sterling ring stuck on their finger.

The Novelty Essays are about work, economic hardship and growing up, but also about the challenge of locating our shared humanity. D RI S C OL L @ P G H C I T Y PA P E R. C OM


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FOR THE WEEK OF

12.26.1301.02.14

FOR INFORMATION ON HOW TO SUBMIT SUBM LISTINGS AND PRESS RELEASES, X161. RELEASES, CALL 412.316.3342 412 {PHOTO COURTESY OF HARLEM GLOBETROTTERS}

{COMEDY} After the birth of his second daughter, Bill Crawford offered some advice for men: “Don’t watch the actual birth. It’s like watching your favorite band break up. Yeah, they might get back together, but it’s never gonna have the same vibe.” The Pittsburgh native and WDVE Morning Show cast member brings his regular-guy standup to another old stomping ground, the Pittsburgh Improv. Crawford, who’s toured nationally, has five shows starting tonight. BO 8 p.m. Continues through Sat., Dec. 28. 166 E. Bridge St., The Waterfront, West Homestead. $20. 412-462-5233 or www.pittsburgh.improv.com

DEC. 26

+ SAT., DEC. 28

Harlem Globetrotters

+ THU., DEC. 26 {SPORTS}

Like Santa Claus, the Harlem Globetrotters return to Pittsburgh every year around this time; also like St. Nick, they can visit several cities at once, with versions of the squad playing three other games tonight aside from the one at Consol Energy Center. But like last year’s show, this contest against the perennially illfated Washington Generals designs in novelty: The tour incorporates online voting in which fans choose one of five wacky rules for each game. Options include: playing with two basketballs at once; five Globetrotters against six opponents; and “Make or Miss,” where both teams

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.25.2013/01.01.2014

{SCREEN}

start out two-on-two, and either team that makes a shot adds a player, while a team that misses loses one. BO 7 p.m. Downtown. $26.85185.10. www.harlemglobe trotter.com

DEC. 28 Bettie Page Reveals All

Mid-century pin-up model Bettie Page’s work — naughtybut-nice photos and short films in which she cheerfully modeled bikinis (or less) and indulged in light bondage — have never gone out of fashion even as Page herself disappeared from public view in 1957. Now, in Mark Mori’s new documentary Bettie Page Reveals All, screening tonight and tomorrow at the Hollywood Theater, Page narrates her own life story and ponders her influence. “I was just doing my job,” she demurs, “and loving every minute of it.” Al Hoff 7 and 9 p.m.; also 7 p.m. Sun., Dec. 29. 1449 Potomac Ave., Dormont. $7. 412-563-0368 or www.thehollywood dormont.org

{STAGE}

Lenora Nemetz is among Pittsburgh’s top gifts to Broadway. The local native was a protégé of the legendary Bob


Free!Event Odds are your tribe doesn’t have a holiday tradition as venerable — or as feathered — as the Christmas Bird Count. This Audobon Society initiative — the world’s longest-running citizen-science survey — is 114 years old, and the Audobon Society of Western Pennsylvania’s participation dates to the 1950s. Across North America, tens of thousands of volunteers stake out everything from backyard bird-feeders to snowy fields to identify and count resident or wintering-over species. The results comprise “a very valuable data set” for researchers in both assessing the health of bird populations and guiding conservation efforts, says ASWP operations director Brian Shema. While this year’s count period is Dec. 14-Jan. 5, each CBC “circle”— a 15-mile-wide territory — selects a single date for counting. In Pittsburgh, it’s Sat., Dec. 28. You must sign up via www.aswp.org, which includes a list of CBC leaders, probably including one in your area. If your home lies within a circle, you can simply monitor your feeder for as little as 15 minutes (or as long as you like). But beginners might prefer to join a CBC group, like the ones in North Park and Beechwood Farms Nature Reserve, that includes seasoned birders doing counts in the field. Pittsburgh’s CBC draws 120 or more volunteers, said Shema by phone, between peeks out his window at a dark-eyed junco. Bill O’Driscoll Sat., Dec. 28. www.aswp.org

{ROLLERSKATING}

Down & Derby bridges the year-ending holidays with some new jack swing. New Jack Skate is this monthly roller-party’s tribute to that über-’80s/early-’90s pop style blending hip hop and contemporary R&B, as exemplified by performers like Bobby Brown and producers like Teddy Riley. ley. So if you like you some “I Wanna Sex You Up” on four ur wheels, tonight’s Belvedere’s ’s event is probably the place to be. Your DJs are Digital Dave ve and DJ McFly. Rollerskates are available for rent; parachute pants are optional. BO 9 p.m.-2 a.m. 4016 Butler St., Lawrenceville. $6 ($3 skate-rental). RSVP required at www.downandderby.org.

{TALK} What, you’re still waiting to o be issued your regulation skinny ny jeans, your fixie and a year’ss supply of ironic T’s? Eh, me, too. But things have gotten bad enough that tonight, the

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and South Park have public outdoor rinks, too.) Ice-skating is affordable, it’s healthy, it gets you out of the house … and at these rinks, you don’t even need to own skates. BO Schenley: 1:30-9 p.m. (times vary daily; Schenley Park; $3-4, skate rental: $2.50; 412-4226547 or www.pittsburghpa. gov/citiparks). Cal U Ice Rink: Noon-8 p.m. (times vary daily; Downtown; $7-8, skate rental: $3; 412-394-3641).

Fosse, appearing in the original Cabaret and in 1975 replacing Chita Rivera in the original Broadway production of Chicago. She’s enjoyed a long career on Broadway, in touring shows and regional theater, and still draws raves, as she did for this past summer’s Side by Side by Sondheim, at CLO Cabaret. Tonight, Nemetz herself is the show at the Andrew Carnegie Free Library & Music Hall annual benefit. The singing, dancing and patter of Lenora! Lenora Nemetz Brings Broadway to Carnegie Carnegie Hall is followed by a reception held on all three floors of this historic landmark. BO 8 p.m. 300 Beechwood Ave., Carnegie. $75-125. 412-276-3456, x13 or www.carnegiecarnegie.org

DEC. 29 Schenley Park Skating

John McIntire Dangerously Live Comedy/Talk Show offers “The Hipsterization of Pittsburgh,” described as “a comedic exploration of the transition between Yinzer City and Hipsterville.” Besides McIntire, the panel talk at Cabaret Theater includes: mayor-elect Bill

Peduto (who might not be a hipster, but has plenty of hipster support); hipster bar-owner Justin Strong; hipster entrepreneur Jia Ji; and Pittsburgh Post-Gazette columnist Samantha Bennett. BO 10:30 p.m. 655 Penn Ave., Downtown. $10 (free with same-night Cultural

Rink (pictured) is open Sundays, and its weekly schedule includes evening adults-only sessions, college-ID discounts, and more. Meanwhile, the seasonal Downtown attraction now known as The Cal U Ice Rink at PPG Place also lets you skate around that obelisk seven days a week. (North Park

Trust ticket). 412-456-6666 or www.trustarts.org

+ SUN., DEC. 29 {OUTDOORS} Outdoor ice-skating season is in full swing. Citipark’s venerable Schenley Park Skating

+ TUE., DEC. 31 {STAGE} Pittsburgh gets its first look at Ghost The Musical. The hit 1990 movie turned Broadway smash is on its inaugural national tour. The show, directed by Matthew Warchus, stars Steven Grant Douglas and Katie Postonik as Sam and Molly; the songs are by Dave Stewart and Glen Ballard. A run of eight PNC Broadway Across America performances at Heinz Hall begins tonight. BO 7:30 p.m. Continues through Jan. 5. 600 Penn Ave., Downtown. $20-75. 412-3924900 or www.trustarts.org

sp otlight Back in 1993, the idea of marking New Year’s Eve with a large-scale public arts festival was new here. But Pittsburgh took to this family-friendly, booze-free complement to house parties and bar crawls. And as in the 75 other U.S. cities using the licensed First Night format, we’ve stuck with it through cold, rain and snow. Now Highmark Pittsburgh First Night — which drew some 35,000 souls in 2012 — rings in its 20th new year. Courtesy of the Pittsburgh Cultural Trust, Downtown turns festival ground, with 150 performances, exhibits and activity stations at some 50 venues (almost all of them indoors, by the way). Live music is ubiquitous, from the indie folk of Broken Fences to jazz, rock, oldies and the River City Brass. There’s also dance (Pittsburgh Ballet Theatre School, Attack Theatre and kNOT Dance); comedy; demos by world yo-yo champ Mark Hayward; the new ice labyrinth at Katz Plaza; magic shows; Bricolage’s immersive, interactive w theater piece titled First Look: First Night; dance lessons; street performers; face-painting and other kids stuff; and art th exhibits at galleries including Space and Wood Street. Film screenings include two short vintage takes on the steel industry: exh acclaimed 1959 animation “Rhapsody to Steel” and 1936’s “Steel Making: A Symphony of Industry.” The big communitythe ac oriented FFedEx Ground Parade, with marching bands, fire trucks and giant puppets, hits Penn Avenue at 8 p.m. And the musical headliner taking you to midnight is veteran soul singer Charles Bradley. You’re in for the price of a First Night button, available online, by phone or at Downtown’s Box Office ff at Theater Square or participating Giant Eagles. Some limited-capacity events require free seating vouchers, which must be acquired in person at the Box Office. Bill O’Driscoll 6 p.m.-midnight. Downtown. $8-10 (free for children under 5). 412-456-6666 or www.trustarts.org

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{ALL LISTINGS MUST BE SUBMITTED BY 9 A.M. FRIDAY PRIOR TO PUBLICATION}

TO SUBMIT A LISTING: HTTP://HAPPENINGS.PGHCITYPAPER.COM 412.316.3388 (FAX) + 412.316.3342 X161 (PHONE)

This authentic German-Style AltBier is our 14th Annual Groundhog Brew, and is the perfect warmer against the winter cold. Available now at: Babcock Beer-North Hills Bellevue Beer-Bellevue Hampton Beer Outlet-Allison Park Joe’s Beer Distributor-Gibsonia

Off the Wall Theater, Carnegie. 724-873-3576.

SAT 28

Based on the Oscar-winning movie. Dec. 31-Jan. 2, 7:30 p.m., Fri., Jan. 3, 8 p.m., Sat., Jan. 4, 2 & 8 p.m. and Sun., Jan. 5, 1 & 6:30 p.m. Heinz Hall, Downtown. 412-392-4900. IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE: A LIVE RADIO PLAY. Joe Landry’s version of the Christmas classic. Dec. 27-28, 8:15 p.m. and Sun., Dec. 29, 2:30 p.m. Butler Little Theatre, Butler. 724-287-6781. PLAID TIDINGS. Forever Plaid Christmas special, presented by Pittsburgh CLO Cabaret. Wed, Thu, 7:30 p.m., Sat, 2 & 7:30 p.m. and Sun, 2 p.m. Thru Jan. 12. Cabaret at Theater Square, Downtown. 412-456-6666. WELL. Comedy by Lisa Kron acknowledging the heartbreaking challenge of true empathy. Thu-Sat, 8 p.m. Thru Dec. 28.

COMEDY

Gallery. An eclectic showroom of fine art sculpture & paintings from emerging artists. North Side. 724-797-3302. AUGUST WILSON CENTER FOR AFRICAN AMERICAN KEVIN BRENNAN. CULTURE. Pittsburgh: 8 & 10:15 p.m. The Reclaim, Renew, Improv, Waterfront. www. per Remix. Feat. imagery, pa 412-462-5233. pghcitym .co film & oral history OPEN MIC STAND UP narratives to explore COMEDY NITE. Hosted communities, cultures, by Derek Minto & John & innovations. Downtown. Pridmore. Tue, 9:30 p.m. 412-258-2700. Smiling Moose, South Side. BOST BUILDING. 412-612-4030. Collectors. Preserved materials reflecting the industrial heritage of COMEDY OPEN MIC. Hosted by Southwestern PA. Homestead. Ronald Renwick. Wed, 9:30 p.m. 412-464-4020. Scarpaci’s Place, Mt. Washington. CARNEGIE MUSEUM 412-431-9908. OF ART. Neapolitan Presepio. STAND-UP COMEDY OPEN Nativity scene feat. more MIC. Wed, 8 p.m. The BeerHive, than 100 human & angelic figures, along w/ animals, Strip District. 412-904-4502. accessories, & architectural elements. Oakland. 412-622-3131. CARNEGIE MUSEUM OF NATURAL HISTORY. Ongoing: Earth Revealed, Dinosaurs In Their Time, more. Oakland. 412-622-3131. CARNEGIE SCIENCE CENTER. Lionel Days. Artifacts from Lionel’s own train collection feat. special activities, a Kids Zone, more. Ongoing: Buhl Digital Dome (planetarium), Miniature Railroad and Village, USS Requin submarine, and more. North Side. 412-237-3400. CARRIE FURNACE. Built in 1907, Carrie Furnaces 6 & 7 are extremely rare examples of pre World War II ironmaking technology. Rankin. 412-464-4020 x.21. COMPASS INN. Demos and tours with costumed guides featuring this restored stagecoach stop. 724-238-4983. DEPRECIATION LANDS MUSEUM. Small living history museum celebrating the settlement and history of the Depreciation Lands. Allison Park. 412-486-0563. FALLINGWATER. Tour the famed Frank Lloyd Wright house. 724-329-8501. FIRST PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH. Tours of 13 Tiffany stained-glass windows. Downtown. 412-471-3436.

THU 26 COMEDY OPEN MIC W/ DEREK MINTO. Thu, 9 p.m. Thru Jan. 30 Hambone’s, Lawrenceville. 412-681-4318.

THU 26 - SAT 28 BILL CRAWFORD. 8 p.m., Fri., Dec. 27, 8 & 10:15 p.m. and Sat., Dec. 28, 7 & 9:15 p.m. The Improv, Waterfront. 412-462-5233.

FRI 27 BEST OF THE BURGH COMEDY SHOWCASE. Fri, 8 p.m. Corner Cafe, South Side. 412-488-2995. COMEDY SHOWCASE. 9 p.m. Hambone’s, Lawrenceville. 412-681-4318. FRANK NICOTERO. 8 & 10 p.m. Arcade Comedy Theater, Downtown. 412-339-0608.

{BY ERIC LIDJI}

NewYear’s Eve at Winghart’s on Carson Street

FREE buffet until midnight Free champagne toast $3 Fireball and Jager bombs $10 Cover for single / Great Drink Music! $15 for couple Specials! 1505 E Carson St. • 412.904.4620

winghartburgers.com

Like us on www.facebook/wingharts

CHUCK KRIEGER, MIKE WYSOCKI, CARL SCHIMMEL, RAY ZAWANDI, TOMMY KUPIEC (EARLY). Steel City Comedy Tour. 7 p.m. Club Cafe, South Side. 412-431-4950.

TUE 31

EXHIBITS ARTDFACT. Artdfact

FULL LIST ONLINE

WED 01

PUBLICNOTICES P U BL I C NOT ICE S @P GH C IT YPAPE R . C O M

In Pennsylvania, a Groundhog has been predicting the weather for over 125 years and Straub has been brewing for over 140 years.

THEATER GHOST: THE MUSICAL.

CONTINUES ON PG. 42

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.25.2013/01.01.2014


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Work by Nichole Czapinski, from threaded colors // drawing lines, at 707 Penn Gallery

ONGOING 28 WEST SECOND GALLERY & STUDIO SPACE. Deck the Halls. Local artist showcase. Greensburg. 724-205-9033. 707 PENN GALLERY. threaded colors // drawing lines. Work by Nicole Czapinski. Downtown. 412-325-7017. AMERICAN JEWISH MUSEUM. Finnish & Jewish. Photographs by Dina Kantor. Squirrel Hill. 412-521-8010. ANDY WARHOL MUSEUM. Theater of the Self. Photographic reprisals by Yasumasa Morimura. I Just Want to Watch: Warhol’s Film, Video and Television. Long-term exhibition of Warhol’s film & video work. Permanent collection. Artwork and artifacts by the famed Pop Artist. North Side. 412-237-8300. ART INSTITUTE OF PITTSBURGH. SKIN. Faculty/student collaborative exhibition. Downtown. 412-291-6200. ARTISTS IMAGE RESOURCE. Printwork 2013. National juried print exhibition feat. over 20 artists. North Side. 412-321-8664. BACKSTAGE BAR AT THEATRE SQUARE. Symphony of Colours. Work by Nadya Lapets, June Kielty, Kim Freithaler & Vickie Schilling. Downtown. 412-325-6769. BAR MARCO. 3 Perspectives: An Attempt to Understand. This exhibit aims to explain the events of the Holocaust through art, narrative & history. Feat. work by Judith

Robinson & Kara Snyder & curated by the Holocaust Center of the Jewish Federation of Greater Pittsburgh. Strip District. 412-421-1500. BARCO LAW LIBRARY. The Digital Imagers Group Show. www.digitalimagers.org. Oakland. BE GALLERIES. 35th Anniversary Exhibition. Work by ceramic artist Yoko Sekino-Bove & jewelry artist Jim Bove. Lawrenceville. 412-687-2606. BLUE OLIVE GALLERIES. Pittsburgh Panoramas/ Metals. Tarentum. 724-275-7001. CARNEGIE MUSEUM OF ART. 2013 Carnegie International. Exhibition of new international art in the United States. Curated by Daniel Baumann, Dan Byers, & Tina Kukielski. Oakland. 412-622-3131. CHATHAM UNIVERSITY. Culture in Context. African Art from the Olkes Collection. Shadyside. 412-365-1232. CHRISTINE FRECHARD GALLERY. Sandra Benhaim. New work. Squirrel Hill. 412-421-8888. COHEN & GRIGSBY GALLERY. CONNECTIONS: The Work of Fabrizio Gerbino. Downtown. CRAZY MOCHA COFFEE COMPANY. Creator of the Future. Work by Matthew Stull. Bloomfield. 412-681-5225. ECLECTIC ART & OBJECTS GALLERY. 19th century American & European paintings combined with some of the world’s most talented contemporary artists & their artwork.

The Hidden Collection. Watercolors by Robert N. Blair (1912- 2003). Hiromi Traditional Japanese Oil Paintings The Lost Artists of the 1893 Chicago Exhibition. Collectors Showcase. Emsworth. 412-734-2099. FILMMAKERS GALLERIES. Pittsburgh je t’aime. A collection of iPhone photos by Hilary Robinson. Closing reception Feb 17, 5:30-8 p.m. Oakland. 412-681-5449. FRAMEHOUSE. Associated Artists of Pittsburgh Group Show. Work by more than 40 artists. Lawrenceville. 412-586-4559. FRICK ART & HISTORICAL CENTER. Clayton Holiday Tours - A Pittsburgh Christmas. Artifacts displayed in Clayton evoke the family’s celebrations, archival & newspaper materials will give an idea of seasonal activity in & around the city. Civil War Era Drawings from the Becker Collection. Permanent collection of European Art. Point Breeze. 412-371-0600. FUTURE TENANT. Shame of the City: Deconstructing & Reconstructing Comic Narratives. Group exhibition of 23 works of art, each a deconstruction of a single page of the 1984 comic book “The Invincible Iron Man.” Downtown. 412-325-7037. GALLERIE CHIZ. Gadgets to Grandeur. Group show feat. brand new & vintage Chiz artists. Open House: Jan. 1, noon-4 p.m. Shadyside. 412-441-6005.

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CONTINUES ON PG. 42

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BIG LIST, CONTINUED FROM PG. 40

NEW YEARS A EVE PARTY CELEBRATION ALL-INCLUSIVE EVENT INCLUDES:

DRINKS - FOOD D.J. HOOVER - PARTY FAVORS CHAMPAGNE TOAST THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE ! CALL FOR DETAILS 412-96 5 - 5 68 4 HAPPY HOLIDAYS AND HAVE A SAFE NEW YEARCARM & MIKE 1908 Carson Street l Southside l 412-918-1215 LIKE US ON FACEBOOK

We’re all about the BEER! New Years Eve Dj 5x5 Suga Bud Light Girls and the Jameson/Absolut Shot Girls Free Toast at Midnight Free Buffet after Midnight Giveaways all night long NO COVER CHARGE 1002 Perry Highway • Pittsburgh,Pa. 15237 412-367-9610 • perrytownedrafthouse.net 42

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.25.2013/01.01.2014

FORT PITT MUSEUM. Unconquered: History Meets Hollywood at Fort Pitt. Original movie props, photographs, & costumes alongside 18th century artifacts & documents, comparing & contrasting historical events w/ Hollywood depictions. Reconstructed fort houses museum of Pittsburgh history circa French & Indian War and American Revolution. Downtown. 412-281-9285. FRICK ART & HISTORICAL CENTER. Ongoing: tours of Clayton, the Frick estate, with classes, car & carriage museum. Point Breeze. 412-371-0600. HARTWOOD ACRES. Tour this Tudor mansion and stable complex, and enjoy hikes and outdoor activities in the surrounding park. Allison Park. 412-767-9200. KERR MEMORIAL MUSEUM. Tours of a restored 19th-century, middle-class home. Oakmont. 412-826-9295. MALL AT ROBINSON. CSI Pittsburgh: Fictional Crime Scene. Presented by Pittsburgh Technical Institute. Robinson. 412-788-0816. MARIDON MUSEUM. Collection includes jade and ivory statues from China and Japan, as well as Meissen porcelain. Butler. 724-282-0123. MCGINLEY HOUSE & MCCULLY LOG HOUSE. Historic homes open for tours, lectures and more. Monroeville. 412-373-7794. MINE FACTORY. SuperBall: A Celebration of the World’s Most Amazing Ball. Presented by The International Sphaeralogical Society. Homewood. 412-370-6916. NATIONAL AVIARY. Home to more than 600 birds from over 200 species. With classes, lectures, demos and more. North Side. 412-323-7235. NATIONALITY ROOMS. 26 rooms helping to tell the story of Pittsburgh’s immigrant past. University of Pittsburgh. Oakland. 412-624-6000. OLD ST. LUKE’S. Pioneer church features 1823 pipe organ, Revolutionary War graves. Scott. 412-851-9212. OLIVER MILLER HOMESTEAD. This pioneer/ Whiskey Rebellion site features log house, blacksmith shop & gardens. South Park. 412-835-1554. PHIPPS CONSERVATORY & BOTANICAL GARDEN. Winter Flower Show & Light Garden. Feat. poinsettias, amaryllis, whimsical lights & adornments. 14 indoor rooms & 3 outdoor gardens feature exotic plants and floral displays from around the world. Oakland. 412-622-6914.

VISUAL ART

CONTINUED FROM PG. 41

THE GALLERY 4. PRESENT. New media interactive works by Erin Ko. Shadyside. 412-363-5050. GALLERY ON 43RD STREET. Pieces Together. Mosaics by Stevo. Lawrenceville. 412-683-6488. GLENN GREENE STAINED GLASS STUDIO INC. Original Glass Art by Glenn Greene. Exhibition of new work, recent work & older work. Regent Square. 412-243-2772. IMAGEBOX. Michelangelo Noir: Drawings Based on the Pre-cleaned Frescoes. Work by Richard Claraval. Garfield. 412-441-0194. INTERNATIONAL IMAGES. Venus, Eve, & Madonna. Presented by the Associated Artists of Pittsburgh. Work by Ruthanne Bauerle, Dorothy de Groat, Tazim Jaffer, Yelena Lamm, Tommy Mason, Daniel Mercer, Nathan Nissim, Rhoda Taylor, more. Sewickley. 412-741-3036. IRMA FREEMAN CENTER FOR IMAGINATION. Make Moves. Assemblage work, drawings, video & more by Bill Shannon. Garfield. 412-924-0634. JAMES GALLERY. Obscure/ Reveal. Hot wax paintings by Christine Aaron, Karen Freedman, Amber George, Lorraine Glessner, Catherine Nash, James Nesbitt, more. West End. 412-922-9800. LA PRIMA ESPRESSO. Paintings/Prints of Italy. Prints of Vince Ornato’s oil paintings of Italy. Strip District. 412-281-1922. LAKEVUE ATHLETIC CLUB. Pop-Up Gallery. Work by a variety of artists. 724-316-9326. MANCHESTER CRAFTSMEN’S GUILD. Here & Now. Work by Sharif Bey. North Side. 412-322-1773. MATTRESS FACTORY. DETROIT: Artists in Residence. Work by Design 99, Jessica Frelinghuysen, Scott Hocking, Nicola Kuperus & Adam Lee Miller, Russ Orlando, Frank Pahl. Janine Antoni: Within. Chiharu Shiota: Trace of Memory. Site-specific installation focusing on

PINBALL PERFECTION. Pinball museum & players club. West View. 412-931-4425. PITTSBURGH ZOO & PPG AQUARIUM. Home to 4,000 animals, including many endangered species. Highland Park. 412-665-3639.

the body w/ relation to place & space. Ongoing Installations. Works by Turrell, Lutz, Kusama, Anastasi, Highstein, Wexler & Woodrow. North Side. 412-231-3169. MENDELSON GALLERY. African Dreams, Cubists Visions Redux. Sculptures by David Lewis, paintings by Terry Shutko. Shadyside. 412-361-8664. MILLER GALLERY AT CARNEGIE MELLON UNIVERSITY. Alien She. Work by Ginger Brooks Takahashi, Tammy Rae Carland, Miranda July, Faythe Levine, Allyson Mitchell, L.J. Roberts, & Stephanie Syjuco. Oakland. 412-268-3618. MODERNFORMATIONS GALLERY. Our Interconnected World: Art & Science at the Environmental Charter School. Garfield. 412-362-0274. MORGAN CONTEMPORARY GLASS GALLERY. common discourse. Group show feat. work by Jen Blazina, Ron Desmett, Michael Janis, Susan Longini, Carmen Lozar, Heather Joy Puskarich, Demetra Theofanous & Randy Walker. Shadyside. 412-441-5200. PANZA GALLERY. David A. Ludwig: Structures. Paintings, study sets, & drawings from a 40 year career. Millvale. 412-821-0959. PHOTO ANTIQUITIES. Pictures in Jewelry. Photos embedded in rings, pendants, watch covers & rings, given as gifts between 1880-WWI. Photography of the Great Gatsby Era. See what cameras were popular in the Roaring 20’s including Kodak Vest Pocket Cameras & Vanity Cameras, beautifully housed in Art Deco styled cases. Some even came complete with a mirror and lipstick for those flappers on the go! North Side. 412-231-7881. PITTSBURGH CENTER FOR THE ARTS. The New Collective. PCA all-guild exhibition of current work. Shadyside. 412-361-0873.

RACHEL CARSON HOMESTEAD. A Reverence for Life. Photos and artifacts of her life & work. Springdale. 724-274-5459. RIVERS OF STEEL NATIONAL HERITAGE AREA. Exhibits on the Homestead Mill. Steel industry and community

PITTSBURGH GLASS CENTER. SiO2: Highschool Reunion. Feat. work by 12 former SiO2 high school students. Friendship. 412-365-2145. POINT PARK UNIVERSITY. DANCE. Work by Joyce Werwie Perry. The Lawrence Hall Gallery. Downtown. 412-391-4100. SENATOR JOHN HEINZ HISTORY CENTER. Poptastic! The Art of Burton Morris. Retrospective feat. nearly 50 works. Strip District. 412-454-6000. SILVER EYE CENTER FOR PHOTOGRAPHY. Pittsburgh Collects. 75 selected works contributed by 3 Pittsburgh photography collectors. South Side. 412-431-1810. SOCIETY FOR CONTEMPORARY CRAFT SATELLITE GALLERY. Touch in Real Time. Work by Holly Hanessian. Downtown. 412-261-7003. THE SOCIETY FOR CONTEMPORARY CRAFT. CRAFTED. Feat. 40+ American ceramic artists interpreting the way they see the drinking cup. ENOUGH Violence: Artists Speak Out. Feat. over 40 works by US & European contemporary artists. Strip District. 412-261-7003. SPACE. Behind Our Scenes. Photographs by Nancy Andrews, Leo Hsu, Dennis Marsico, Annie O’Neill, & Barbara Weissberger. Downtown. 412-325-7723. WESTMORELAND MUSEUM OF AMERICAN ART. Born of Fire: The Valley Work. Greensburg. 724-837-1500. WOOD STREET GALLERIES. Hive. 3D-animated audiovisual installation where gallery visitors confront a swirling mass of amorphous figures, appearing as a collective of matter as opposed to individual beings in deep space. Downtown. 412-471-5605.

artifacts from 1881-1986. Homestead. 412-464-4020. SENATOR JOHN HEINZ HISTORY CENTER. Pennsylvania’s Civil War. In-depth look at Pennsylvania’s significant contributions during the Civil War feat. artifacts, military encampments,


life-like museum figures, more. From Slavery to Freedom. Highlight’s Pittsburgh’s role in the anti-slavery movement. Ongoing: Western PA Sports Museum, Clash of Empires, and exhibits on local history, more. Strip District. 412-454-6000. SEWICKLEY HEIGHTS HISTORY CENTER. Museum commemorates Pittsburgh industrialists, local history. Sewickley. 412-741-4487. SOLDIERS & SAILORS MEMORIAL HALL. Military museum dedicated to honoring military service members since the Civil War through artifacts & personal mementos. Oakland. 412-621-4253. ST. NICHOLAS CROATIAN CATHOLIC CHURCH. Maxo Vanka Murals. Mid-20th century murals depicting war, social justice and the immigrant experience in America. Millvale. 421-681-0905. WEST OVERTON MUSEUMS. Learn about distilling and coke-making in this pre-Civil War industrial village. 724-887-7910.

EVERYONE IS A CRITIC EVENT:

Pennsylvania’s Civil War, at the Heinz History Center, Strip District CRITIC: Ryan Stephan, 22, a WHEN: Fri.,

Dec. 20

The Heinz History Center has a really lifelike and interactive exhibit that details Pennsylvania’s involvement in the Civil War. Being “The Keystone State,” Pennsylvania was a vital part of the Union winning the Civil War, especially when thinking about major battles like the Battle of Gettysburg. It was very interesting to see the impact that Pittsburgh and much of the western part of the state had on the war. I was absolutely stunned by how brilliant the exhibit was. From the Rodman Cannon to the letters and materials of soldiers, it was cool to see war artifacts that are roughly 150 years old. Any lover of history should see this; in fact, any American should see this, because it is a piece of their history. I feel like I took a trip back in time and now have the desire to go watch Gettysburg and immerse myself in history.

HOLIDAY THU 26 - SUN 29

B Y B R E T T WIL SO N

CRAFTSMAN’S GUILD OF PITTSBURGH HOLIDAY ARTIST MARKET. Jewelry, clay, glass, wood, sculpture, textiles, more. Wed-Sun. Thru Jan. 5 709 Penn Gallery, Downtown. 412-456-6666.

Serving 4 Generations

student in Easton, Pa.

TUE 31

HIGHMARK FIRST NIGHT PITTSBURGH. The region’s largest New Year’s Eve celebration. w/ a parade, live music, ice labyrinth, fireworks display, more. www.firstnightpgh.org CARNEGIE TREES 2013: 6 p.m. Downtown Pittsburgh, EMBRACING THE Downtown. ART OF PLAY. 20-foot NEW YEAR’S EVE OLDIES Colorado spruce trees DINNER DANCE. 8 p.m. adorned w/ handcrafted Most Holy Name of ornaments that celebrate Jesus Parish, Troy Hill. the art of play. 412 231-2994 x 2. Tue-Sun. Thru Jan. 12 NYE AT TENDER. Carnegie Museum Food, cocktails, & of Art, Oakland. entertainment. 412-622-3131. 5 p.m. Tender Bar HOLIDAY TRAIN + Kitchen, DISPLAY. Working www. per Lawrenceville. pa coal mine, airport, pghcitym .co 412-402-9522. steel mill & RING IN THE firework display. NEW YEAR PARTY. Mon-Fri and Sat, Dinner buffet, champagne Sun. Thru Jan. 4 toast, more. 8 p.m. Carson Penn Hills VFD #224, City Saloon, South Side. Verona. 412-828-0860. 412-481-3203. THE PCA ANNUAL SILVESTER CELEBRATION. HOLIDAY SHOP. Ceramics, Museum tours, pork & jewelry, fiber art, prints, sauerkraut dinner, 5K Run/Walk more by 200+ regional & 1-Mile Fun Run, ball drop artists. Thu-Sat, 10 a.m.-7 p.m. at 6 p.m. (midnight in and Sun, 12-5 p.m. Thru Germany), fireworks, more. Dec. 29 Pittsburgh Center 2-6:30 p.m. Harmony Museum, for the Arts, Shadyside. Harmony. 724-452-7341. 412-361-0873. SMOKIN’ HOT NEW PTI HOLIDAY LIGHT YEAR’S EVE CELEBRATION. & MUSIC SHOW. Thru Dinner, dancing, live music, Jan. 3, 2014, 5-10 p.m. Pittsburgh Technical Institute. more. 6 p.m. Seven Springs. 1-800-784-9675. 1-888-718-4253.

THU 26 - TUE 31

FULL LIST E N O LIN

ST. FERDINAND CHURCH NEW YEAR’S EVE PARTY. Benefits the St. Ferdinand Building Fund. 7:30 p.m. Pittsburgh Marriott North, Cranberry. 724-776-9177.

Pittsburgh’s oldest and only cocktail lounge. Often imitated, but never duplicated

NEW YEAR’S EVE CELEBRATION Free T-shirts, Beads, Hats and Other Giveaways 9:30- until they run out

DANCE THU 26 - SUN 29 THE NUTCRACKER. Presented by the Pittsburgh Ballet Theatre. AutismFriendly Performance Dec. 27. Fri, 7 p.m., Sat, 2 & 7 p.m., Sun, 12 & 4:30 p.m., Thu, 7 p.m. and Sun., Dec. 29, 12 p.m. Thru Dec. 26 Benedum Center, Downtown. 412-456-6666.

FUNDRAISERS FRI 27 UGLY WINTER SWEATER PARTY. Sweater contests, silent auction, more. Hosted by iCandy Pgh & benefits The Homeless Cat Management Team. 8 p.m. Cruze Bar, Strip District. 412-471-1400.

NO COVER Midnight Champagne Toast After one of our drinks, you’ll kiss your mother-in-law! T-Bone says, “It’s the pulse of Pittsburgh”

SUN 29

731 Copeland St. Shadyside 412-683-0912

BOOK ‘EM BOOKS TO PRISONERS WORK PARTY. Read & code letters, pick books, pack ‘em or database ‘em! Sundays 4-7 p.m. or by appt. Thomas Merton Center, Garfield. 412-361-3022. CONTINUES ON PG. 44

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TUE 31

Last Sunday of every month! 8 to 11pm

HARMONY SILVESTER 5K & 1-MILE FUN RUN. Benefits Harmony’s parks. Part of the Silvester New Year’s Eve party. 3 p.m. Main Street, Harmony. 724-452-6780.

LITERARY THU 26

BAND NIGHT EVERY THURSDAY!

THURS/DEC 26/10PM

TUESDAY DEC.31 @CATTIVO LAWRENCEVILLE $5 COVER

................................. ................................. AMAZING DANCE MUSIC

PARTY FAVORS

Please drink responsibly Doors Open at 9pm 21+ Proper ID Required 146 44th St Pgh PA 15201 www.cattivo.biz

SLIM FORSYTHE & HIS NEW PAYDAY LOANERS THURS/JAN 2/10PM

DEREK WOODZ BAND THURS/JAN 9/10PM

Joe Cheeta’s High Energy personality, Quick Sense of Humor, Combined with his Ability to get Everyone Involved makes Game Show Junkiessm a Fantastic Time to be had by all!

BURLESQUE SHOW

$2.00 16Yuengling Drafts

$2.75 PBR POUNDERS S OR PBR DRAFTS

9:30pm-1:30am

ALL DAY, EVERY DAY ‘till Midnight

$5.50 PBR POUNDER R & FIREBALL SHOT Thursdays, all day ‘till Midnight

2204 E. CARSON ST. (412) 431-5282 lavaloungepgh.com

oz

sponsored by

OVER 21 ONLY

1314 EAST CARSON ST. ST SOU TH SID E WWW.D EESCA F E.COM POOL + PING PONG + DARTS

ENGLISH LEARNERS’ BOOK CLUB. For advanced ESL students. Presented in cooperation w/ the Greater Pittsburgh Literacy Council. Thu, 1 p.m. Mount Lebanon Public Library, Mt. Lebanon. 412-531-1912. THE HOUR AFTER HAPPY HOUR WRITER’S WORKSHOP. Young writers & recent graduates looking for additional feedback on their work. thehourafter happyhour.wordpress.com Thu, 7-9 p.m. The Big Idea Bookstore & Cafe, Bloomfield. 412-687-4323. SPANISH CONVERSATION CLUB. Second and Fourth Thu of every month, 6-7 p.m. Carnegie Library, Oakland. 412-622-3151.

BALL. 500 beach balls, larger inflatable balls, a disco ball & music. Ongoing Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh, North Side. 412-322-5058. PAPERCUTTING. Thru Dec. 31, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh, North Side. 412-322-5058. TAPESCAPE. Massive indoor landscape made of 22 miles of packing tape. Thru Jan. 19, 2014 Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh, North Side. 412-322-5058. TOUGH ART. Interactive artworks by Chris Beauregard, Katie Ford, Scott Garner, Isla Hansen & Luke Loeffler. Ongoing Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh, North Side. 412-322-5058.

FRI 27

HOLIDAY CAMP: FREAKY PHYSICS. Discover the science & physics behind structures big & small. Ages 6-7. 9 a.m.-3 p.m. Carnegie Science Center,North Side. 412-237-1637. HOLIDAY CAMP: SCIENCE THRILL . w ww per RIDE. Explore the a p ty ci h pg physics, momentum, ASPINWALL .com & chemistry behind TOASTMASTERS. amusement parks. Communication, Ages 8-10. 9 a.m.-3 p.m. leadership & public Carnegie Science Center, speaking. Tue, 6:30-8 p.m. North Side. 412-237-1637. UPMC Lighthouse Pointe, HOLIDAY CAMP: Aspinwall. 412-760-0690. SEUSSICAL SCIENCE. LET’S SPEAK ENGLISH! Discover the science Practice conversational in some of Dr. Seuss’ English. Tue, 6 p.m. childhood favorites. Carnegie Library, Squirrel Hill. Ages 4-5. 9 a.m.-12 p.m. 412-422-9650. Carnegie Science Center, North Side. 412-237-1637. ROCK BAND! Open stage for teen singers, songwriters & instrumentalists to HOLIDAY CAMP: play w/ Emma Cox & Elliot ENGINEER IT! Learn about Beck. Presented by Hope the design process & use it to Academy. Fri, 5:30-7 p.m. engineer your own creations. Thru Dec. 27 East Liberty Ages 8-10. 9 a.m.-3 p.m. Presbyterian Church, East Carnegie Science Center, Liberty. 412-441-3800 x 43. North Side. 412-237-1637. HOLIDAY CAMP: HOLIDAY FUN. Explore MARTY’S MARKET snowflakes, experiment KIDS’ CORNER. Ages 5-11. w/ candy canes, & create Sat, 3-5 p.m. Marty’s Market, your own frozen bubbles. Strip District. 412-586-7177. Ages 6-7. 9 a.m.-3 p.m. Carnegie Science Center, North Side. 412-237-1637. EGYPTIAN EXPLORATION. HOLIDAY CAMP: JUNIOR SPACE ADVENTURE. Learn about the customs, Explore Earth, the Solar crafts, & culture of ancient System, & the Milky Way. Egyptians. Ages 8-10. Ages 4-5. 9 a.m.-12 p.m. 9 a.m.-3 p.m. Carnegie Carnegie Science Center, Museum of Natural History, North Side. 412-237-1637. Oakland. 412-622-3288. FAMILY GAME NIGHT. Last Mon of every month, BACKYARD EXHIBIT. 5-8 p.m. Dobra Tea, Musical swing set, sandbox, Squirrel Hill. 412-449-9833. solar-powered instruments, HOLIDAY CAMP: more. Ongoing Children’s INTRODUCTION TO Museum of Pittsburgh, ROBOTICS. Ages 8-10. North Side. 412-322-5058. 9 a.m.-3 p.m. Carnegie Science

TUE 31

FULL LIST ONLINE

KIDSTUFF THU 26

ALL- INCLUSIVE PACKAGE

DRINKS- BEERS- D.J. QWIK-PARTY FAVORSCHAMPAGNE TOAST AT MIDNITE-FINGER FOODS STARTS AT 9PM-2AM Call for details 412-488-0777 HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM JEKYL & HYDE JEKYL AND HYDE | 140 S. 18TH STREET 412-488-0777 | BARSMART.COM/JEKYLANDHYDE LIKE US ON FACEBOOK!

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.25.2013/01.01.2014

SAT 28

MON 30

THU 26 - TUE 31


[VISUAL ART] Center, North Side. 412-237-1637. HOLIDAY CAMP: THE SCIENCE OF ME. Discover how your body works, test your 5 senses, & find out what keeps you moving. Ages 4-5. 9 a.m.-12 p.m. Carnegie Science Center, North Side. 412-237-1637. HOLIDAY CAMP: TRAINS! TRAINS! TRAINS! Explore the Miniature Railroad & Village® & the scientific principles that make it work. Ages 6-7. 9 a.m.-3 p.m. Carnegie Science Center, North Side. 412-237-1637. PECULIAR PALEONTOLOGY. Investigate fossils, feathers, more. Ages 6-7. 9 a.m.-3 p.m. Carnegie Museum of Natural History, Oakland. 412-622-3288. SURVIVOR ADVENTURE. Learn basic cold weather survival skills & investigate survival strategies of local plants & animals on a hike through Schenley Park. Ages 11-13. 9 a.m.-3 p.m. Carnegie Museum of Natural History, Oakland. 412-622-3288.

TUE 31 BRINGING PALEONTOLOGY TO LIFE. Explore collections to investigate ideas about dinosaur skin, muscles, & movement. Ages 11-13. 9 a.m.-3 p.m. Carnegie Museum of Natural History, Oakland. 412-622-3288. COUNTDOWN TO NOON. Bedtime-friendly New Year’s Eve celebration feat. live performances, art activities, more. 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh, North Side. 412-322-5058. HOLIDAY CAMP: CSI SCI. Retrieve clues & assess data using engineering, chemistry, & materials science skills. Ages 8-10. 9 a.m.-3 p.m. Carnegie Science Center, North Side. 412-237-1637. HOLIDAY CAMP: MESSY MIXTURES. Create chemistry experiments from items that you can find at home. Ages 4-5. 9 a.m.-12 p.m. Carnegie Science Center, North Side. 412-237-1637. HOLIDAY CAMP: ROBOWORLD™. Discover how robots help people & come up w/ robot design ideas of your very own. Ages 6-7. 9 a.m.-3 p.m. Carnegie Science Center, North Side. 412-237-1637. JAMMIE JAM 2014: NEW YEAR’S AT NOON. Pajama parade, music, face painting, balloon drop at noon, more. 11 a.m.-1 p.m. Latitude 40, North Fayette. 412-693-5555. LIFE ON THE NILE. Explore the secret life of beetles by observing live insects & seeing how they measure up to the mystical ancient Egyptian scarab. Ages 6-7. 9 a.m.-3 p.m.

make a real connection FRI, DEC. 27 • 9PM BLUEGRASS/AMERICANA

BROKE STRANDED & UGLY, JAYKE ORVIS & THE BROKEN BAND AND

THE SHELF LIFE

SMOKE FREE SHOW (ENTIRE VENUE)

SAT, DEC. 28 • 9PM INDIE ROCK

BEAR CUB PLUS

THE BLACK SIX, AND

GYPSY AND HIS BAND OF GHOSTS SMOKE FREE SHOW (ENTIRE VENUE)

MON, DEC. 30 • 9PM OPEN STAGE WITH

SGD

TUES, DEC. 31 • 9PM

Free

NEW YEARS EVE PARTY! WITH CITY DWELLING

TRY FOR

NATURE SEEKERS

{PHOTO COURTESY OF NATHAN J. SHAULIS}

Art by Hunter Blackwell

The students who participate in Pittsburgh Glass Center’s Si02 High School Glass Program learn more than just the mechanics of creating glass art — they gain confidence, discipline and teamwork skills. Many go on to apply these abilities to other areas, but PGC’s current show highlights students who decided to pursue glass professionally. Si02: High School Reunion, on view at the Pittsburgh Glass Center until Jan. 26, features work by Hunter Blackwell, Dana Laskowski, Chris Ross and nine other artists. 5472 Penn Ave., Friendship. 412-365-2145 or www.pittsburghglasscenter.org

Carnegie Museum of Natural History, Oakland. 412-622-3288.

OUTSIDE TUE 31 SURVIVAL BASICS. Tue, 3-4:30 p.m. Schenley Park, Oakland. 412-477-4677.

WED 01 CONNOQUENESSING CREEK POLAR PLUNGE. 1 p.m. Harmony Canoe Launch, Harmony. 724-452-6780. FIRST DAY HIKE. 2-mile hike. 1 p.m. Jennings Environmental Center, Slippery Rock. 724-794-6011.

OTHER STUFF THU 26 BOARD GAMES NIGHT. Fourth Thu of every month, 6 p.m. Carnegie Library, Oakland. 412-622-3151. CHINESE CONVERSATION CLUB. Second and Fourth

AND

WRECKLOOSE

$10 INCLUDES CHAMPAGNE TOAST AND MIDNIGHT APPETIZER BUFFET SMOKE FREE SHOW (ENTIRE VENUE)

OPEN FOR LUNCH

412.566.1861

Kitchen Hours: Sun - Th open til 12am Fri & Sat open til 1am

4023 BU TLER ST LAWREN CEVILLE 412.682.017 7

Local Numbers: 1.800.210.1010 Ahora en Español 18+

www.livelinks.com

Thu of every month, 6-7 p.m. Carnegie Library, Oakland. 412-622-3151. THE DEN: A SPECIAL PROGRAMMING SERIES FOR NEW ADULTS. Video games, board games, easy drop-in art projects, book discussions, more. Second and Fourth Thu of every month Carnegie Library, Oakland. 412-622-3151. INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S ASSOCIATION OF PITTSBURGH. Social, cultural club of American/international women. Thu First Baptist Church, Oakland. iwap. pittsburgh@gmail.com. RENAISSANCE DANCE GUILD. Learn a variety of dances from the 15-17th centuries. Porter Hall, Room A18A. Thu, 8 p.m. Carnegie Mellon University, Oakland. 412-567-7512. WEST COAST SWING. Swing dance lessons for all levels. Thu, 7 p.m. Pittsburgh CONTINUES ON PG. 46

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Dance Center, Bloomfield. 412-681-0111.

SAT 28

Where the Magazine Come to Life!

Mount Lebanon Public Library, Mt. Lebanon. 412-531-1912. SCOTTISH COUNTRY DANCING. Lessons 7-8 p.m., social dancing follows. No partner needed. Mon, 7 p.m. and Sat, 7 p.m. Grace Episcopal Church, Mt. Washington. 412-683-5670. SPELLING BEE WITH DAVE AND KUMAR. Mon Lava Lounge, South Side. 412-431-5282.

Arts Center. 724-576-4644. MCCAFFERY MYSTERIES. Ongoing auditions for actors ages 18+ for murder mystery shows performed in the Pittsburgh area. 412-833-5056. PRIME STAGE THEATRE. Auditions for The Importance of Being Earnest. Jan. 25-26. Males age 20-65/females age 20-65. www.primestage.com/ about/auditions.html The Oakland School, Oakland. TRIB TOTAL MEDIA. Auditions for the Trib Total Media Young Artists Competition. Register recorded auditions by Jan. 13, live auditions held on Feb. 2. www.westmorelandsymphony. org 724-837-1850.

THE HISTORY & IMPACT OF FINANCIAL POWER: THE VAMPIRIC RISE, FALL & RISE AGAIN OF FINANCIAL CAPITALISM. Interactive program comparing the Great Depression to the Great Financial Crisis of 2008. Second Tue of every month, 7 p.m. and Last Sat of every month, 1:30 p.m. OPEN (POST) JAZZ Thru Feb. 22 Mount Lebanon IMPROVISATIONAL Public Library, Mt. Lebanon. DANCE CLASS. Tue, 412-531-1912. 7-10 p.m. Thru Jan. 28 KOREAN II. For those The Space Upstairs, Point who already have a basic Breeze. 412-225-9269. understanding of Korean & are interested in increasing proficiency. Sat, 11 a.m.BOBCAT PLAYERS. 12:30 p.m. Thru Dec. 28 Auditions for the 2014 Carnegie Library, Oakland. season. Jan. 11, 16, 18. 412-622-3151. Cold readings & 1-min. PSYCHIC FAIR. Last monologue from a play ACTING OUT! PITTSBURGH Sat of every month, or movie. www.bobcatplayers. PRIDE THEATER FESTIVAL. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. com Beaver Area Accepting submissions Chapel of Oneness, High School, Beaver. for showcase of locally West Mifflin. 412-953-0237. written lesbian, gay, 412-770-4961. CLASH bisexual, or transgender-theme SATURDAY NIGHT INTERNATIONAL. w. w w SALSA CRAZE. Free Seeking er 1-act plays. Manuscript hcitypap g p lessons, followed performance details at facebook.com/ .com by dancing. Sat, 10 p.m. artists for Local events/519459561475242/ La Cucina Flegrea, People for Global 412-256-8109. Downtown. 412-708-8844. Causes fundraising event in CLASH INTERNATIONAL. SATURDAY SILVER SCREEN February 2014. Particularly Seeking art & craft FILM CLUB. 2:30 p.m. seeking artists w/ relevant submissions (i.e. paintings, Carnegie Library, Downtown. performance pieces (i.e. photographs, jewelry, etc.) 412-281-7141. short plays, comedy sketches, for Local People for Global SCOTTISH COUNTRY songs, spoken poetry etc.). DANCING. Lessons 7-8 p.m., Causes fundraiser. All localforglobal@gmail.com social dancing follows. The Grey Box Theatre, submissions are tax No partner needed. Mon, Lawrenceville. 412-586-7744. deductible. Call for more 7 p.m. and Sat, 7 p.m. Grace Episcopal Church, Mt. Washington. 412-683-5670. [VOLUNTEER OPPORTUNITY] SOUTH HILLS SCRABBLE CLUB. Free Scrabble games, all levels. Sat, 1-3 p.m. MGR Youth Empowerment is seeking bike-savvy folks Mount Lebanon Public Library, Mt. Lebanon. 412-531-1912. to help with its after-school mentoring program, Positive SPANISH CONVERSATION Spin Youth Cycling. Mentors in the program help at-risk GROUP. Friendly, informal. youth improve their well-being by teaching them At the Starbucks inside about cycling and bike management. Pennsylvania Target. Sat, 3:30-5:30 p.m. state clearances required. Submit resumes and letters of Target, East Liberty. interest to Julie Mallis at jmallis@mgrf.org or visit 412-362-6108. www.mgrf.org for information. SWING CITY. Learn & practice swing dancing skills. Sat, 8 p.m. Wightman School, LINCOLN PARK Squirrel Hill. 412-759-1569. information. www.clash PERFORMING ARTS international.org CENTER DANCE COMPANY. 412-352-3338. Auditions for The Music & AMNESTY INTERNATIONAL THE DAP CO-OP. Seeking the Mirror: A Tribute to HUMAN RIGHTS CAFE. performers & artists to Marvin Hamlisch. Jan. 5. Weekly letter writing event. participate in First Fridays Open to tri-state area Sun, 4-6 p.m. Panera Bread, Art in a Box. For more students in grades 9-12. Oakland. 412-683-3727. information, email centerauditions.org. Lincoln MYSTICAL PSYCHIC FAIR. Park Performing Arts Center. 12-5 p.m. Library Fire Hall, thedapcoopzumba@hotmail. 724-576-4644. South Park. 724-348-8063. com. 412-403-7357. LINCOLN PARK THE HOUR AFTER HAPPY PERFORMING ARTS HOUR REVIEW. Seeking MORNING SPANISH CENTER STUDENT submissions in all genres LITERATURE & COMPANY. Auditions for for fledgling literary magazine CONVERSATION. Mon, 10 a.m. Little Shop of Horrors. curated by members of Mount Lebanon Public Library, Jan. 6-8. Open to tri-state the Hour After Happy Mt. Lebanon. 412-531-1912. areas students in grades Hour Writing Workshop. SAHAJA MEDITATION. 9-12. centerauditions.org Mon, 7:30 p.m. Thru Feb. 17 afterhappyhourreview.com Lincoln Park Performing

TUE 31

AUDITIONS

SUBMISSIONS

FULL LIST ONLINE

PITTSBURGH’S MOST

EXCLUSIVE GENTLEMAN’S CLUB

POSITIVE SPIN

SUN 29

412.904.3191 1620 PENNSYLVANIA AVE. 5 blocks from Casino - Off of Beaver Ave. “The Penthouse Club” and 3-Key logo are registered trademarks of General Media Communications, Inc., and are used under license.

46

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.25.2013/01.01.2014

MON 30


Savage Love {BY DAN SAVAGE}

DEAR READERS: Sophia Wallace, the New York City-based conceptual artist behind the amazing Cliteracy project, was a guest on my podcast recently. (To hear our conversation, go to www. savagelovecast.com and look up episode 371.) During our chat, Wallace told me that a column I wrote years ago about the importance of the clit had a big impact on her as a teenager — in fact, she still had the copy she had clipped out of the newspaper. I’m reprinting that column for three reasons: Ignorance about the clit is still rampant; reprinting the column allows me to plug Wallace’s work (check it out at www.sophiawallace.com); and it’s Christmas and I’m taking the week off. For newer readers: Letter writers addressed me as “Hey, Faggot” for the first few years. These days, of course, only my husband talks to me that way. Happy New Year! Hey, Faggot: My present girlfriend and ex-girlfriend both say I am a good lover. However, neither could have an orgasm via intercourse alone. They can each come in a second by masturbation, and in minutes from oral sex. They say they’ve come very close during intercourse with me. They also say I shouldn’t worry. But if I didn’t worry about it, wouldn’t I be one of those guys women complain about? I’m beginning to get a complex. I wonder what I’m doing wrong. I wonder if they would be more satisfied if they were with someone better endowed. During intercourse, I feel myself becoming discouraged: I think that she will never enjoy this as much as I do, and sometimes these thoughts have caused me to go soft in the middle of the act. Please tell me what to do. BROOKLYN

you with a little “indirect stimulation.” Maybe she nudges the side of your dick with her foot while you eat her to orgasm after orgasm. While you might enjoy this (especially if you’re a foot fetishist), it probably won’t get you off. Eventually, you pull your slimy face out of her crotch and ask for some direct cock-head stimulation. Your girlfriend recoils in horror. She insists that ALL her previous boyfriends could climax from indirect cocknudging alone. “What is wrong with you?” she asks. How would you react? Probably you would get up, get dressed, tell her she’s full of shit and inform her on your way out the door that all of her previous boyfriends were liars. You wouldn’t settle for indirect stimulation — so why should your girlfriends? I’m going to let you off the hook a bit: You most likely aren’t entirely responsible for your predicament. A lot of women, when they first start having sex, believe they should be able to have orgasms from intercourse alone — because that’s the way women’s orgasms seem to work in movies, porn and romance novels, and, funnily enough, it’s the way their ill-informed young boyfriends insist women’s orgasms work. Consequently, some young women psych themselves out, convincing themselves that they’re having orgasms while their boyfriends huff and puff; other women fake orgasms for fear that their boyfriends will think they’re damaged goods if they can’t come from intercourse alone. Since inexperienced young women tend to have sex with inexperienced young men, these psyched/faked orgasms can leave young men with a false impression of the way women’s bodies work and, sadly, of their own sexual abilities. Bad-in-bed boys bop through their sex lives until the earth-shattering moment when they find themselves in bed with a woman who demands that her orgasm (and her clit) play as central a role in the sex act as his orgasm (and the head of his dick). These boys think the new girlfriend is some sort of psychotic nympho, or, like you, they think their lovemaking skills have deteriorated or their cocks suddenly aren’t big enough. But the new girlfriend isn’t a psychotic nympho. And the boy’s lovemaking skills haven’t deteriorated — they never developed in the first place. You fear the girlfriend “will never enjoy [intercourse] as much as I do,” and that fear sometimes causes you to go soft. Fear not: She’ll enjoy the fucking just as much as you do, so long as you remember to pay attention to her clit. Finger her clit while you bang away; encourage her to play with herself when you’re fucking; try different positions to see if different angles of penetration might provide more direct stimulation to her clit, and then let her control the speed and pace of the grind; get her off with your mouth or your hand before you fuck; buy some “clit grapes” at a sex-toy store — the possibilities are endless. Learn more about women’s bodies, listen to your partner’s verbal cues, watch for her physical ones and make her pleasure a priority — that’s how you avoid being one of those men women complain about. Good luck. This holiday season, send the Savage Lovecast as a gift! www.savagelovecast.com

LEARN MORE ABOUT WOMEN’S BODIES AND AVOID BEING ONE OF THOSE MEN WOMEN COMPLAIN ABOUT.

Hey, Brooklyn: Your desire not to be “one of those guys women complain about” is commendable, but it would be more so if you’d bothered to educate yourself about women’s bodies and women’s orgasms. News flash: Most women are unable to “have an orgasm via intercourse alone.” Why? Because the business end of the clitoris — which plays as central a role in her sexual pleasure as the head of your cock plays in yours — is located outside and above the vagina, not inside and up it. The clitoris is not a joy buzzer at the top of the vaginal canal. It doesn’t matter how big your dick is, how hard your dick is or how far you manage to get it in (OK, those things do matter, but not for this argument): The clit’s the thing! While some women’s clits are angled in such a way that bumping and grinding provides enough direct clitoral stimulation to get off, most are not so conveniently angled, and you have to go out of your way to make her orgasms happen. But you needn’t take my word for it. According to Cosmo — my reference for questions regarding female anatomy, sexual response and makeup — fully 70 percent of women need stimulation above and beyond vaginal intercourse in order to achieve orgasm. Imagine the flip side: Your new girlfriend pays no attention to the head of your cock during sex; the most she can be bothered to do is provide

blogh.pghcitypaper.com

The first hit is free. Actually, so are all the others.

SEND IN YOUR QUESTIONS TO MAIL@SAVAGELOVE.NET AND FIND THE SAVAGE LOVECAST (DAN’S WEEKLY PODCAST) AT THESTRANGER.COM/SAVAGE

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FOR THE WEEK OF

Free Will Astrology

12.25-01.01

{BY ROB BREZSNY}

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): In 1588, Toyotomi Hideyoshi, the ruler of Japan, confiscated the swords, daggers and spears belonging to every citizen. He announced they would be melted down and used to make a giant Buddha statue. I’d love to see you undertake a comparable transformation in 2014, Capricorn. You shouldn’t completely shed all your anger and pugnacity, of course; a certain amount is valuable, especially when you need to rouse yourself to change situations that need to be changed. But it’s also true that you could benefit from a reduction in your levels of combativeness. What if you could “melt down” some of your primal rage and use the energy that’s made available to build your personal equivalent of a Buddha icon?

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18):

GEMINI (May 21-June 20):

The period between last July and next June is prime time to find or create your dream job. That might mean simply upgrading your existing gig so that it serves you better. Or it could involve you rethinking your relationship with work and going off in quest of a new way to earn a living. So how are you doing on this project, Aquarius? If you are proceeding on schedule, you should be halfway there by now. The goal should be clear, and you should be more disciplined, organized and determined than ever. If for any reason this isn’t the case, start playing catch-up.

Your last best hope to get rich was back in the latter half of 2001 and the first six months of 2002. From July 2025 to June 2026, the cosmos will again conspire to give you a big fat chance to expedite your cash flow to the max. But why get bogged down dreaming of the past or fantasizing about the future when fertile opportunities to boost your prosperity are in front of you right now? Financial luck is flowing your way. Viable ideas for making money are materializing in your subconscious treasure house. The contacts that could help you build your wealth are ready to play with you. (This offer is good until July 2014.)

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): “Singing teaches two skills that are essential for any creative process,” says author and vocalist Rachel Bagby: “the ability to listen and the ability to be flexible and spontaneous.” I bring this to your attention, Pisces, because 2014 could potentially be a Golden Age for your creativity. It will be a time when you will benefit even more than usual from exploring and enhancing your imaginative originality. That’s why I’m encouraging you to sing more than you ever have before. Make a list of your 50 favorite singable songs. Be aggressive about expanding the music you get exposed to, and learn the melodies and lyrics to a lot of new tunes. Cut loose with your vocal stylings whenever you have a chance, and take a vow to propel yourself out of funky moods with the creative energy of your singing.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Edmund Kean (1789-1833) was one of the most famous British actors of his time. But a contemporary, the poet Samuel Coleridge, was frustrated by Kean’s inconsistency, regarding him as a great artist who on occasion lapsed into histrionics. “To see him act,” said Coleridge, “is like reading Shakespeare by flashes of lightning.” Now and then I get that feeling about you, Aries. You have bursts of brilliance that you sometimes don’t follow up on. You’re like a superstar who loses your concentration. But I’ve got a strong feeling that in 2014 you will at least partially overcome this tendency. Your word of power will be consistency.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Ernest Rutherford (1871-1937) is known as the father of nuclear physics not just because he won the Nobel Prize for Chemistry. He was also a superb teacher. Eleven of his students won Nobel Prizes. That’s the kind of teacher or mentor or guide I urge you to connect with in 2014, Taurus. The coming months will potentially be an optimum time for you to learn deeply, and at a rapid rate. One of the best ways to fulfill that promise will be to apprentice yourself to adepts who have mastered the skills and savvy you want to acquire.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): French poet Edmond Jabès had this to say about the birth of big creative ideas that dramatically transform one’s life: “For the writer, discovering the work he will write is both like a miracle and a wound, like the miracle of the wound.” Regardless of whether or not you’re an artist, Cancerian, I expect that you will experience a wrenching and amazing awakening like this in 2014. The opening you’ve been hoping and working for will finally crack its way into your destiny. It may be one of the most pleasurable disruptions you’ve ever had.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22):

four hours, singing all 11 songs and playing every instrumental track himself. It took years for anyone to appreciate his artistry, but eventually the magazine Melody Maker selected Pink Moon as No. 48 on its list of the “All Time Top 100 Albums.” Here’s one way I suspect your efforts will be similar to Drake’s in 2014, Libra: You will have the ability to get a lot done in a short time. Here are two ways your fate will be different from Drake’s: First, you will have a big pool of trustworthy allies to call on for help. Second, what you produce won’t take nearly as long to get the appreciation it warrants.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Eierlegende Wollmilchsau is a colloquial German term for a mythical pig that lays eggs like a chicken, provides milk like a cow, supplies wool like a sheep and ultimately becomes bacon and pork chops. Metaphorically, it may refer to a fanciful device that performs many functions. Imagine, for instance, a futuristic smartphone that could interpret your dreams, trim your

unwanted hair, fix you a perfect cup of coffee, tell you you’re beautiful in ways you actually believe and cure your little health problems. In the real world, there’s no such thing, right? Not yet. But there’s a chance you will find the next best thing to an eierlegende Wollmilchsau in 2014.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): “We don’t accomplish our love in a single year as the flowers do,” says Rainer Maria Rilke in the Duino Elegies. Do you promise to take that truth into consideration in 2014, Sagittarius? Will you pledge to diligently devote yourself to creating the right conditions for love to flourish? In the past, you may not have been fully able to carry out this slow-building marvel; you may not have had quite enough wise perseverance. But you do now. Send me your New Year’s resolutions. Go to RealAstrology.com and click on “Email Rob.” For extra credit, send your anti-resolutions: weird habits and vices you pledge to continue.

get your yoga on!

In the coming months, I’m betting that you will exit a confined place or shed cramped expectations or break off your commitment to a compromise that has drained you. It may happen suddenly, or it could take a while to complete. How the escape unfolds will have to do with how thoroughly you extract the lessons that your “incarceration” has made available. Here’s a ritual that might also expedite the process: Give a gift to the people you’re leaving behind, or offer a blessing in the spot where your difficult teachings have taken place.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): “Now that you don’t have to be perfect, you can be good,” says a character in John Steinbeck’s novel East of Eden. I suggest that you make this your rallying cry in 2014, Virgo. In fact, why not begin right now, wherever you are? Say, “Now that I don’t have to be perfect, I can be good.” Free yourself of the pressure to be the polished, ultimate embodiment of everything you’d ever hoped you would be. That will allow you to relax into being more content with the intriguing creation you have already become. You may be surprised by how much mojo this affords you.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In 1972, English folk musician Nick Drake recorded his album Pink Moon. He finished it in a mere

GO TO REALASTROLOGY.COM TO CHECK OUT ROB BREZSNY’S EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES AND DAILY TEXT-MESSAGE HOROSCOPES. THE AUDIO HOROSCOPES ARE ALSO AVAILABLE BY PHONE AT 1-877-873-4888 OR 1-900-950-7700

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FOR INFORMATION ON HOW TO PLACE A CLASSIFIEDS ADVERTISEMENT, CALL 412.316.3342 EXT. 189

LIVE 50 + WORK 50 + SERVICES 51 + STUDIES 52 + WELLNESS 53

LIVE REAL ESTATE SERVICES ALL AREAS - ROOMMATES.COM. Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: http:// www.Roommates.com. (AAN CAN) Find your next place to “WORK” in City Paper!

EAST FOR RENT

STORAGE

Squirrel Hill Apt- Updated lg. 2BR, eq. kitc w/disposal and d/w. Washing facilities and storage, off str prkg. $1,050+g&e Avl 1/1 Call Tony 412-849-8856

ABC SELF STORAGE25 x 60 storage or workspace $500 plus taxes, 12.5x40 $250 plus taxes. (2) locations Mckees Rocks & South Side. 412-403-6069

NAMASTE! Find a healthy balance of the mind, body and spirit with one of our massage therapists, yoga, or spa businesses!

Need a job? Looking for a new employee? Call 31-MEDIA to place a Classified ad in Pittsburgh City Paper. Call today to speak with one of our Classified advertising representatives.

Find a new place to “LIVE” in City Paper!

BUY and SELL your HOME all in the Same Place! Advertise here in the “LIVE” section of the City Paper

WORK HELP WANTED

HELP WANTED

Help Wanted! make extra money in our free ever popular homemailer program, includes valuable guidebook! Start immediately! Genuine! 1-888-292-1120 www. easywork-fromhome. com (AAN CAN)

Paid in Advance!! Make up to $1000 a week mailing brochures from home! Helping home workers since 2001! Genuine opportunity! No experience required. Start immediately! www.process-brochures.com (AAN CAN)

Find your next place to “WORK” in City Paper!

Call 412.316.3342 to advertise in City Paper.

HELP WANTED Looking to hire a qualified employee? Don’t waste time, call 412.316.3342 to place an Employment Classified ad in Pittsburgh City Paper.

WANTED! 36 PEOPLE to Lose Weight. 30-day money back guarantee. Herbal Program. Also opportunity to earn up to $1,000 monthly. 1-800-492-4437

www.healthnutrition pittsburgh.com

VOLUNTEERS

Become a volunteer tutor and help an adult learn to read. Contact Greater Pittsburgh Literacy Council at 412.393.7600 or gplc.org Open up a Life We have a waiting list of 200 adults who need your help.

BUYING OR SELLING A HOME? Choose two pros who live and work in the city.

Rick Schweikert 412-352-3417

Ben Gwin 609-213-4923

Call today for a consultation! Coldwell Banker Real Estate Services 5887 Forbes Ave., Pittsburgh, PA 15217 rickschweikert@gmail.com Find me on Facebook!

REAL ESTATE SERVICES

DISCLAIMER: ALTHOUGH MOST ADVERTISING IN PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER ARE LEGITIMATE BUSINESSES, PRIOR TO INVESTING MONEY OR USING A SERVICE LOCATED WITHIN ANY SECTION OF THE CLASSIFIEDS WE SUGGEST THE FOLLOWING PROCEDURE: ASK FOR REFERENCES & BUSINESS LICENSE NUMBER, OR CALL/WRITE: THE BETTER BUSINESS BUREAU AT 412-456-2700 / 300 SIXTH AVE., STE 100-UL / PITTSBURGH, PA 15222. REMEMBER: IF IT SOUNDS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE, IT USUALLY IS! 50

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.25.2013/01.01.2014


SERVICES

ADOPTION

ANNOUNCEMENTS

REHEARSAL

Become a friend of Gordon Shoes on Facebook for your chance to win great prizes and merchandise! Facebook.com/ GordonShoes

Rehearsal Space starting @ $150/mo Many sizes available, no sec deposit, play @ the original and largest practice facility, 24/7 access, 412-403-6069

Our readers look for an overall feeling of well being on a daily basis and they are looking for businesses like yours! Advertise in City Papers “Wellness” section.

Place your Classified advertisment in City Paper. Call 412.316.3342

CASH FOR CARS: Any Car/Truck. Running or Not! Top Dollar Paid. We Come To You! Call For Instant Offer: 1-888-420-3808 www. cash4car.com (AAN CAN) NAMASTE! Find a healthy balance of the mind, body and spirit with one of our massage therapists, yoga, or spa businesses!

ADOPTION

ADOPTION

Popular College Counselor and School Admin. Travel, Sports, Museums, await 1st Baby. Expenses Paid Annie & David 1-800-513-0931

A DO P T I O N Your baby will be cherished in a loving and financially secure home. Expenses Paid. Please call Daria at

888-788-5624

PREGNANT? CONSIDERING ADOPTION? Call us first. Living expenses, housing, medical, and continued support afterwards. Choose adoptive family of your choice. Call 24/7. 877362-2401 (AAN CAN)

Your ad could be here

The following calendar maintains the tradition of meeting at 6:00 p.m. on the fourth Tuesday of every calendar month except as noted. The several meetings proposed for Council Chambers attempt to respond to the public recommendation that meeting at a centralized location may encourage increased public attendance.

Our readers look for an overall feeling of well being on a daily basis and they are looking for businesses like yours! Advertise in City Papers “Wellness” section.

All Meetings Scheduled to Begin at 6:00 p.m.

PREGNANT? THINKING OF ADOPTION? Talk with caring agency specializing in matching Birthmothers with Families Nationwide. LIVING EXPENSES PAID. Call 24/7 Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions. 866-413-6293. Void in Illinois/New Mexico/ Indiana (AAN CAN) Get the most for your money in CP Classifieds. We get great results. Call 412.316.3342

CITIZEN POLICE REVIEW BOARD CPRB 2014 PITTSBURGH MEETING DATES AND HOST NEIGHBORHOODS

412.316.3342

Date

Neighborhood

Address

January 28, 2014

Council Chambers

510 City-County Building 414 Grant Street Pittsburgh, PA 15219 (412) 255-2142-office

February 25, 2014

Council Chambers

510 City-County Building Pittsburgh, PA 15219

March 25, 2014

South Side Chamber of Commerce

1100 East Carson Street Pittsburgh, PA 15203 (412) 431-3360 (Z3)

April 22, 2014

Council Chambers

510 City-County Building Pittsburgh, PA 15219

May 27, 2014

Hazelwood Senior Center

5344 Second Avenue Pittsburgh, PA 15207 (412) 422-6549 (Z4)

June 24, 2014

Freedom Unlimited, Inc. Director: Alma Speed Fox

2201 Wylie Avenue Pittsburgh, PA 15219 (412) 434-0922 – office (412) 471-1313 – fax (Z2)

July 22, 2014

Council Chambers

510 City-County Building Pittsburgh, PA 15219

August, 2014 -Combined with September 23, 2014

Council Chambers

510 City-County Building Pittsburgh, PA 15219

October 28, 2014

Kingsley Association

6435 Frankstown Avenue Pittsburgh, PA 15206 (412) 661-8751 (Z5)

November, 2014 - Combined with December 2, 2014

Council Chambers

510 City-County Building Pittsburgh, PA 15219

(The public will be notified of any change of date or location through media publication.) For Further Information: 412-765-8023 Confidential TipLine: 412-255-CPRB N E W S

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STUDIES CLINICAL STUDIES NAMASTE! Find a healthy balance of the mind, body and spirit with one of our massage therapists, yoga, or spa businesses!

Ink Well

SPORTY TOPS

{BY BEN TAUSIG}

Your ad could be here

DIABETES? Call Preferred Primary Care Physicians at

412-650-6155

412.316.3342

FEELING DOWN? ARE THERE TIMES WHEN YOU FEEL OVERLY ENERGETIC? To see if you might qualify for a research study at the University of Pittsburgh text ‘mood’ to 412-999-2758 or call 412-246-5588

ACROSS

Tune in, log on, hear the music that matters to you. wyep.org

52

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.25.2013/01.01.2014

1. Times out? 5. A giant one is rarely seen 10. Adobe image files 14. [I can’t hear you] 15. Oregon Trail state 16. Teenager’s first car, often 17. Shopper’s take 18. Off ___ (deploying) 19. Its flow is dangerous 20. Channel that shows noirs 21. Deep black 22. Like some tips and some glass 24. Lion food, in many a nature film 26. Healthcare.gov statute, briefly 29. Kick out 30. Mount ___ (second-highest continental U.S. peak) 32. Medical public intellectual Gawande 34. Rapper in the 2013 film “Black Nativity” 35. North Carolina liberal arts school 36. Hungary neighbor from which lots of spam comes 39. Type of gear on which the letters in this puzzle’s theme squares are arrayed 42. Sit unused 43. Air ___ 46. Gross, say: Abbr. 49. Spanish 101 verb 50. They mature after one to ten years 52. River near lots

of lovely castles, to the Germans 54. Sketch show that hasn’t had a black female regular since 2007 56. Turned all the way up, perhaps 57. Pause marks 59. Need to give, as an apology 61. It might be roused 62. Rock bands? 63. Pop star who *almost* collaborated with the Flaming Lips 66. Pulitzer Prize winner William for the play “Picnic” 67. All there 68. White supremacist’s imaginary “race” 69. It’s healthier than whole 70. Sign of leaving? 71. Very edge 72. Big birds in the bush, once

DOWN 1. Dice-rolling game 2. Slim battery 3. Construction device for figuring out if a fixture is level 4. Danny Aiello character nearly killed by Radio Raheem 5. Spot online 6. Mexican chain owned by Jack in the Box 7. Walter Reuther’s union 8. James formerly of the Smashing Pumpkins

9. Tim Conway character 10. Jacob’s-ladder, e.g. 11. Give cards to 12. São Paulo slum 13. They might help get you into more underground stuff 21. Preserves home 23. Outdated person, as it were 25. Kidney-related 27. Fast time in Morocco 28. In the least 31. Growths in a grove 33. Still up on the apartment rental agency’s page, say 37. Collections of a few passing words? 38. Home run leader among Hall of Famers

40. New York liberal arts school 41. Japanese gambling game 44. Ray Charles dedicatee 45. Regards 46. Scannable square 47. Bug section 48. Like some Arab Spring protesters 51. San Francisco’s ___ Valley 53. “Don’t need seconds, thanks” 55. Lindsay of meltdowns 58. One who refuses to observe a called strike? 60. Masturbate 64. Do wrong 65. “This might be of interest” 66. The end of creation? {LAST WEEK’S ANSWERS}


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SAVING FACE(BOOK)

A CMU research paper becomes an inadvertent target of social-media anxiety {BY CHRIS POTTER} “LEADERS OF THE NATION’S biggest technology firms warned President Obama … at the White House on Tuesday that National Security Agency spying programs are damaging their reputations,” the Washington Post reported Dec. 17. The executives — who included representatives from AT&T, Google and Facebook — “also pressed the need for transparency and for limits on surveillance,” the Post disclosed. I know what you’re thinking: Facebook? Wants limits on surveillance? And worries spying may damage its reputation? FACEBOOK? While government surveillance makes front-page news, Americans yield personal data to the private sector every day. We worry about Big Brother reading our mail, while leaving our diaries right where our little brothers can read them. But there are limits to that trust, too … as a Carnegie Mellon University doctoral student found out this winter. Earlier this year, Ph.D. student Sauvik Das co-wrote a paper titled “Self-Censorship on Facebook” with Adam Kramer, a Facebook employee. In the study, Facebook staffers tracked 3.9 million users over 17 days to see how often they engaged in “last-minute self-censorship” — typing a message but then deleting it before posting.

craniums. Facebook, she added, might be even worse than the NSA. After all, the government “is monitoring things we have actually put online,” while Facebook “is analyzing thoughts that we have intentionally chosen not to share.” Das was traveling when I tried to reach him. But his faculty adviser, professor Jason Hong, says, “We were pretty surprised” by Golbeck’s article. While Hong didn’t work directly on the Facebook paper, he says that Golberg “misinterpreted parts of the study.” For one thing, he says, Das’ work need not lead to Big Brother demanding that we dish about last night’s date. It could lead to better tools for managing social circles on the front end: “‘Worlds colliding’ is a well-known problem in Facebook: You have college friends, family friends, people from work all reading the same post,” Hong says. “If a lot of people are self-censoring because of that, maybe we need better ways to help manage the problem.” But as someone who studies social media and privacy concerns for a living, Hong is sympathetic to the concerns underlying Golbeck’s piece. For one thing, he says, Facebook probably could access text we typed without posting. “It’s not that people are evil,” he says, but “Once your business model is advertising-based, you have an in-

People self-censor on Facebook, it seems, far more often than you’d guess from what is posted there. Das and Kramer found that some 71 percent of users engaged in the practice: Men were more likely than women to do so, while “users with more politically and age diverse friends censor less.” In April, those findings received some gee-whiz online coverage from The Atlantic magazine and the Huffington Post. Then all went quiet … until a couple days before that White House meeting. That’s when Slate.com posted an article whose headline warned, “Facebook wants to know why you didn’t publish that status update you started writing.” Writer Jennifer Golbeck was less interested in Das’ findings than in his methodology. Facebook researchers could tell if you’d self-censored, she noted, by accessing code in your browser which tracks what you type. (A similar function allows Gmail to store your email drafts automatically.) Das’ paper stressed that Facebook “record[ed] only the presence or absence of text entered, not the … content,” but Golbeck seemed unconvinced: “The same code Facebook uses to check for self-censorship can tell the company what you typed,” she warned. Golbeck cited a line in Das’ paper — the observation that if people self-censor, Facebook “loses value from the lack of content generation” — to suggest that its business model depended on prying open our

centive to collect as much information as possible. There’s so much data that can be collected, and this is an ongoing arms-race” — with users trying to preserve their identity while developers try to circumvent those efforts. But on any social-media platform, he adds, “The same information can be used either to help us, or to harm us.” (Hong himself has investigated using smartphones to help guard against depression, by tracking such factors as a sudden drop in phone conversations, or late-hours use that could reflect sleeping problems.) Everything depends on striking “the right balance between the end-user’s privacy, sustainable business models, and making sure people have informed consent.” The problem is that while sites like Facebook encourage users to be an open book, the sites are often guarded about their own agendas. Frequently, Hong says, “When people don’t know why [personal information] is being used, they start getting paranoid.” Which might be why Golbeck’s story has gotten far more attention than Das received last spring. At least 53,000 Facebook users have “liked” the Slate piece so far. (Take that, Zuckerberg!) And as Hong says, “In social media, when people talk about this paper, it’s often, ‘Facebook is monitoring things you aren’t submitting.’” Which goes to show: If you’re Facebook, maybe a bit of online selfcensorship isn’t so bad after all. C POT T E R@ P G H C I T Y PA P E R. C OM

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