March 26, 2014 by Pittsburgh City Paper

WWW.PGHCITYPAPER.COM | 03.26/04.02.2014

LAND LOCKED: CITY COUNCILORS DEBATE LAND-BANK PROPOSAL 06

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The Andy Warhol Museum receives state arts funding support through a grant from the Pennsylvania Council on the Arts, a state agency funded by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania; the National Endowment for the Arts, a federal agency and The Heinz Endowments. Further support is provided by the Allegheny Regional Asset District image: Andy Warhol, Self-Portrait, 1978, © The Andy Warhol Foundation for the Visual Arts, Inc.

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FAMILY LAW & ESTATE LITIGATION If you are faced with marital separation, divorce, custody or estate planning, you want a lawyer who can help you through this critical time in your life. Serving Pittsburgh families for more than 25 years, GENTILE, HOROHO & AVALLI, PC is one of Pittsburgh’s premier law firms concentrating in family law & estate litigation. Managing Partners Gary G. Gentile, Kenneth J. Horoho, Jr, Charles J. 310 Grant St Avalli & their associates excel in matters involving all kinds of disputes in families, Pittsburgh from separation & divorce, custody, estate litigation, family business succession (412)261-9900 and other matters. The firm has extensive experience handling contested & uncontested divorces, including those involving high net worth divorce, complex support and spousal support. They are also experienced in helping families manage their estates, including estate Litigation, administration of family trusts, business succession, distribution of assets & debts, estate & trust litigation and estate planning. When experience matters, Gentile, Horoho & Avalli has the skills & legal resources you need to protect your best interests in family law & estate planning. Visit: www.gha-lawfirm.com

IS BANKRUPTCY YOUR FRESH START?

ATTORNEYS KEN STEIDL, KENNY STEINBERG, CHRIS FRYE & LAUREN LAMB represent consumer & business debtors in various types of bankruptcy proceedings. The most common types of cases that individuals and businesses file are Chapters 7, 11 and 13. Chapter 7 is normally utilized to obtain a fresh-start for an individual debtor or to wind-up the affairs of a business debtor. Chapter 11 is generally used for business reorganization. Chapter 13 is used by individuals to save their home from foreclosure and reorganize their financial affairs. The firm also helps individuals obtain mortgage modifications through the bankruptcy process. They advise that individuals and businesses 707 Grant St, #2830 with financial problems should contact a qualified attorney to learn their options Gulf Twr, Pittsburgh as early as possible so that they may avoid judgment liens, bank executions from (412)391-8000 creditors, and tax levies. Your initial consultation with Steidl & Steinberg is provided free of charge! If you have the courage to ask for help, they have the experience and compassion to guide you through the complex maze of bankruptcy and its alternatives. Steidl & Steinberg is a federally designated debt relief agency helping people file for bankruptcy relief under the bankruptcy code. Visit: www.goodbyedebt.com

COMMITTED TO TRADITION SINCE 1940 Serving all faiths & cultures, SPRIGGS-WATSON FUNERAL HOME is prepared to handle any funeral service that your family may have with openness and understanding. Whether traditional, cremation, or specific cultural funeral practices, Spriggs-Watson will help you design a service that best meets your family’s needs. Possessing many years of experience, Owner/Director Donald Jones offers caring and compassionate service. The most effective funeral is one 720 N Lang Ave that will accurately reflect the life of the deceased. Pittsburgh Spriggs-Watson will coordinate every detail for you, giving you more time to (412)243-8080 concentrate on family and friends. Their pre-arranged, pre-financed and irrevocable trust funeral plans help to lessen the stress surrounding the death of a loved one and alleviate the financial and emotional burden placed upon the family. Regardless of your financial circumstances, Spriggs-Watson is available 24 hours-a-day, to assist you in making all of the necessary arrangements. Visit: www.spriggsandwatson.com

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To most pet owners, their pets are considered to be part of their family. Dr. Aileen Ruiz & staff at THE BIG EASY ANIMAL HOSPITAL understand the deep emotional bond that exists between you and your pet. They provide exceptional care in a kind & caring environment for you & your cherished fourlegged family members by providing the best in wellness & illness medicine. They continually update their training to facilitate your choices regarding the care of your pet. They offer a personally-tailored plan for your companion’s well-being. Big Easy’s comprehensive services include urgent care, immunization & wellness 5328 Butler St care, internal medicine, pain management, dental care, dermatology, critical Pittsburgh care, microchipping, senior care, nutritional & behavioral counseling, radiology, (412)908-9301 ultrasound and surgery. Complete long-term services such as bi-annual physicals & vaccination maintenance programs help prevent many degenerative conditions & diseases such as Lyme Disease, Leukemia, dental problems, bone diseases, plus many more. Their technical staff will offer to help with any questions, assist you with learning to better care for your furry family members, as well as perform nursing care. Walk-ins welcome. Se Habla Español. Visit: www.tbeah.com

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 03.26/04.02.2014

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PROTECTING YOUR FAMILY & YOUR ESTATE

ATTORNEYS CHARLES P. VOELKER, JULIE R. COLTON, JONATHAN

C. VOELKER & PERNILLE FRANKMAR’S 48 years of combined experience in family law are indispensable to their divorce clients. They believe the first step is to protect & stabilize a family’s welfare. Whether by agreement or court order, everyone’s financial situation must be evaluated within the resources available to them. Their clients often find that most issues can have an amicable and workable resolution. However, when an agreement cannot be reached their clients are confident in their representation during litigation. 310 Grant St, #1220 Chuck, Julie, Jay and Pernille concentrate in contested & uncontested matPittsburgh ters, divorce, child custody, support & maintenance. Their practice also includes (412)281-3007 estate administration & planning, guardianships, powers of attorney, medical directives, wills and trusts. All four maintain a personal commitment to working for the best resolution for their clients concerning the issues of their case. Visit: www.vc-lawfirm.com

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Since 1993, the team at AMSHEL’S HOME PET SITTING SERVICE, LLC (“AHPSS”) has been providing individual care to local animals. This team of 15 workers is bonded and insured and currently serves over 400 clients. These clients are located in the Fox Chapel area, Oakmont, the East End, Downtown and the South Side areas of the City of Pittsburgh. A member of Amshel’s Home Pet Sitting team will conduct an initial visit to 205 Ridge Rd get acquainted with your animals, collect a key and ask that you complete paperPittsburgh work. The AHPSS team only provides individual care for one family at a time in (412)963-6933 your home or theirs. Taxi service for animals as well as yard scooping is available for clients who request these services. (Yard scoop is for Monday through Friday clients only.) By request, the team member will bring in the mail and newspapers, water plants and take out the garbage. They also will administer care to animals with special needs that require medication, shots, etc. Member of Pet Sitters International and accredited with the Better Business Bureau. Visit: www.amshelpetsit.com

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whether it was casting asunder that which was made in heaven, (i.e. matrimonial & family law issues), or, with personal injury or legal malpractice litigation, civil law suits, wills, estates, real estate, business matters, non-violent crimes, or personal representations. Bob not only expertly serves his clients by answering their questions in helping them to think clearly in guiding them towards sound decisions; but, he always gives them their alternatives and the costs of those alternatives. If an issue cannot be settled amicably, Bob is always fully prepared to fight for his clients in court. 355 Fifth Ave, #605 As a sole practitioner, Bob will personally represent you throughout your Park Bldg, Pittsburgh divorce & post-divorce matters including child support, custody & visitation, (412)261-9933 domestic violence, restraining orders & property settlements, or in whatever the legal matter may be. At his office, experience does make the difference. Bob will listen to you. Call Bob Garber for “Ethical, Personalized Service.” Email: attorney.garber@gmail.com

organization dedicated to reducing overdose fatalities and the spread of HIV, Hepatitis, and other blood borne diseases related to injection drug use. Prevention Point Pittsburgh provides free, legal needle exchange services, assistance to drug treatment, risk-reduction counseling and health education, 907 West St, 5th Fl HIV/Hepatitis C screening in collaboration with Pittsburgh AIDS Task Force, Pittsburgh overdose prevention & response trainings with naloxone distribution, the life(412)247-3404 saving medication that reverses overdose. PPP “meets people where they’re at” and offers health empowerment services in a non-judgmental environment. They provide the tools & information to keep injection drug users alive and as healthy as possible while in the vulnerable phase of active addiction. Since 1995, PPP continues to serve as the sole provider of needle exchange services for the entire region. PPP also provides training & technical assistance to other agencies & community groups on overdose prevention and harm reduction. PPP seeks to reduce the negative effects of drug use to the user and the community, and helps make Pittsburgh a healthier place for everyone. Visit: www.pppgh.org

View the online version of this page @ TheProfileSeries.com/032614

{EDITORIAL}

03.26/04.02.2014

Editor CHRIS POTTER News Editor CHARLIE DEITCH Arts & Entertainment Editor BILL O’DRISCOLL Music Editor ANDY MULKERIN Associate Editor AL HOFF Listings Editor MARGARET WELSH Assistant Listings Editor JESSICA BOGDAN Staff Writers REBECCA NUTTALL, ALEX ZIMMERMAN Staff Photographer HEATHER MULL Interns KAYLA COPES, ANGELA SUICO

VOLUME 24 + ISSUE 13

{ART}

On the cover: Haylee Ebersole’s Porous Sediments

{IMAGE COURTESY OF THE ARTIST}

{ADVERTISING}

[NEWS]

“It’s never going to affect Squirrel Hill or Highland Park. It’s going to affect Homewood, North Side, the Hill, Beltzhoover, Sheraden.” — Pittsburgh City Councilor Ricky Burgess on a proposed land bank for blighted property in the city

[VIEWS]

a real concern that this violates 14 “There’s the constitution.” — George Jugovic, chief counsel for PennFuture on a plan to frack beneath Deer Lake Park

[TASTE]

Ferguson, of Pigpen Theatre Co., on what the band learned in college in Pittsburgh

[SCREEN]

film feels like a preamble, in which 35 “This the broader stakes are downplayed until we simply get through training.” — Al Hoff on Divergent

THIS WEEKEND!

{ADMINISTRATION} Business Manager BEVERLY GRUNDLER Circulation Director JIM LAVRINC Office Administrator RODNEY REGAN Technical Director PAUL CARROLL Interactive Media Manager CARLO LEO

Joel

{PUBLISHER} STEEL CITY MEDIA

[ARTS]

“The money’s better from the French publishers.” — Locally based Frank Santoro tells one reason why doing comics art is better overseas

[LAST PAGE]

politics is ugly because you 62 “National-level don’t really know the candidates. When local politics gets ugly, it’s usually because everyone knows each other all too well.” — Chris Potter on the agony and ecstasy of committee races

{REGULAR & SPECIAL FEATURES} NEWS OF THE WEIRD BY CHUCK SHEPHERD 16 EVENTS LISTINGS 44 SAVAGE LOVE BY DAN SAVAGE 54 FREE WILL ASTROLOGY BY ROB BREZSNY 56 CROSSWORD PUZZLE BY BEN TAUSIG 59 +

ENTERTAINMENT

Marketing Director DEANNA KRYMOWSKI Marketing and Promotions Coordinator LINDSEY THOMPSON Advertising and Promotions Coordinator ASHLEY WALTER Radio Promotions Director VICKI CAPOCCIONI-WOLFE Radio Promotions Assistants ANDREW BILINSKY, NOAH FLEMING

what CMU taught us was 25 “Ithatthink strong sense of ensemble.” — Ben

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Director of Advertising JESSIE AUMAN-BROCK Senior Account Executives TOM FAULS, PAUL KLATZKIN, SANDI MARTIN, JEREMY WITHERELL Advertising Representatives DRA ANDERSON, MATT HAHN, JESSE HERRLE, SCOTT KLATZKIN, MELISSA LENIGAN, JUSTIN MATASE, RICK MINETTI, VALERIE PFERDEHIRT Classified Manager ANDREA JAMES Classified Advertising Representative TERRANCE P. MARTIN Radio Sales Manager CHRIS KOHAN National Advertising Representative VMG ADVERTISING 1.888.278.9866 OR 1.212.475.2529

{MARKETING+PROMOTIONS}

“The combination of tempura shrimp with orange cayenne, diced cucumbers and bleu cheese is unusual.” — Angelique Bamberg and Jason Roth review 1844 Restaurant

[MUSIC]

Director of Operations KEVIN SHEPHERD Production Director JULIE SKIDMORE Art Director LISA CUNNINGHAM Graphic Designers SHEILA LETSON, JEFF SCHRECKENGOST, JENNIFER TRIVELLI

THURSDAY, MARCH 27 Lindsey of Blvd of the Allies FRIDAY, MARCH 28

GENERAL POLICIES: Contents copyrighted 2014 by Steel City Media. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written permission of the publisher. The opinions expressed in Pittsburgh City Paper are those of the author and not necessarily of Steel City Media. LETTER POLICY: Letters, faxes or e-mails must be signed and include town and daytime phone number for confirmation. We may edit for length and clarity. DISTRIBUTION: Pittsburgh City Paper is published weekly by Steel City Media and is available free of charge at select distribution locations. One copy per reader; copies of past issues may be purchased for $3.00 each, payable in advance to Pittsburgh City Paper. FIRST CLASS MAIL SUBSCRIPTIONS: Available for $175 per year, $95 per half year. No refunds.

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CITY PAPER ROUNDTABLE: CITY COUNCILORS DISCUSS LAND-BANK PROPOSAL

FAMOUS FIRST WORDS In celebration of its eighth anniversary last week, Twitter released an app that allows you to discover what your, or anyone else’s, first tweet was. Here are the inaugural 140character missives from some wellknown Pittsburghers.

“Neither sound or light can escape todays social network I dont know why I thought I could but today I surrender to the tweeting revolution” — Pittsburgh Steelers safety Troy Polamalu (@tpolamalu) on July 23, 2010

“just got twitter. its kinda pointless ... but i mean ... why not.” — Singer/songwriter Joy Ike (@joyike) on Nov. 11, 2008

“Mr. Holt ... you know it!!! Crash Course premieres Aug. 26th @ 9pm on ABC ... the airwaves will never be the same!” — Former MTV host, actor and Sewickley native Dan Cortese (@dancortese) on July 27, 2009

{PHOTO BY LISA CUNNINGHAM}

Pittsburgh City Councilors Deb Gross, Ricky Burgess and Corey O’Connor discuss the city’s proposed land bank legislation on March 21.

BLIGHT PLAN

“Feeding My Bad Azz Dog!” — Hip-hop artist Wiz Khalifa (@wizkhalifa) on Feb. 7, 2009

“I like turtles.” — Hustlebot improv alum and former Saturday Night Live writer comedy writer Christine Nangle (@nanglish) on June 1, 2010

“Had dinner last night with Toronto’s Mayor David Miller. He’s a great visionary and had an engaging discussion about the future of Toronto.” — Former Carnegie Mellon University professor and researcher Richard Florida

“Like any good lesbian, I’m experimenting ... how does this thing work anyway?” — Blogger and activist Sue Kerr (@pghlesbian24) on May 9, 2008

“look justine -- no hands!” — Mayor Bill Peduto (@billpeduto) on March 9, 2009

INCE JANUARY, Pittsburgh City Councilors and community members have debated the merits of a “land bank” bill introduced by city Councilor Deb Gross. The bill would create a quasigovernmental agency responsible for acquir ing blighte d, vac ant o r t axdelinquent land around the city; the land bank would then work with developers, community-development groups and others to revitalize the properties. Almost everyone agrees the city isn’t effectively dealing with dilapidated property now, but Gross’ legislation has generated criticism from some community groups and city councilors Daniel Lavelle and Ricky Burgess, who represent neighborhoods with a disproportionate share of blighted and vacant properties. Among the sticking points are whether city council should have direct oversight of how properties are disposed, and whether there are sufﬁcient protections to prevent

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 03.26/04.02.2014

developers from swooping in with agendas that neighborhoods don’t like. Earlier this month, Burgess and Lavelle proposed a set of amendments that, among other things, would give city council direct authority over what the land bank does with individual pieces of land. Councilors

Is proposed land bank the best way to deal with city’s dilapidated properties? {BY ALEX ZIMMERMAN} Gross and Corey O’Connor, meanwhile, have proposed amendments they say would strengthen the community-input process by adding members of blighted communities to the land-bank board and creating a mechanism that allows neighbors to force public hearings on the disposi-

tion of nearby land. But they would maintain the land bank’s independence from council politics. City Paper invited Gross, O’Connor, Lavelle and Burgess to sit down on March 21 to discuss the issues presented by their amendments. (Lavelle attended via conference call.) This conversation has been edited for space and clarity. CITY PAPER: Councilwoman Gross, you’ve introduced legislation that would dramatically change the way land is acquired and disposed of around the city — and since you introduced the bill in January, there’s been a ton of feedback [including two packed council hearings]. I’m curious what you think you’ve learned in the last two months —and whether any of what you’ve heard has changed your perspective. GROSS: I’ve said it before, I’ve said it in the public hearings, but it bears repeating that CONTINUES ON PG. 08

BLIGHT PLAN, CONTINUED FROM PG. 06

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it is tremendous and impressive how well Pittsburghers take care of themselves and how much they care about their neighborhoods. But it also speaks to, I think, the pent-up need around this issue for solutions — that there have been pent-up frustrations that have built up over decades of bureaucratic tangle. This is legislation that could really improve the way we’ve been doing things, so it’s important to get it right and to empower the neighborhoods. They’ve been disempowered for far too long. As Councilman Burgess points out, the city is the biggest slumlord in the city of Pittsburgh. It’s time that we change that.

Councilman Burgess’ district or anywhere else. So the properties that are a problem that the city is not maintaining would have to go through Councilman Burgess and city council in order for the land bank to take title to them.

CP: And Councilman Burgess, a couple years ago you introduced land-banking legislation yourself, so I’m curious what you think is problematic about the current way that blighted and vacant land is dealt with in the city.

CP: One of the biggest differences between the amendments that O’Connor and Gross have suggested and the amendments that Burgess and [Lavelle] have suggested is who controls the disposition of land. I wanted to give Gross or O’Connor a chance to address that. You’ve both talked about the importance of the independence of the land bank, and I’m interested in your argument for keeping council out of it.

O’CONNOR: And I think to the funding part […] I don’t see the land bank getting parcel one for about a year-and-a-half. And I don’t want to speak on foundations, but Councilwoman Gross, who wrote the bill, can maybe talk a little bit about [that]. They’re very interested in funding something like this.

“THIS IS LEGISLATION THAT COULD REALLY CHANGE THE WAY WE DO THINGS.”

BURGESS: Well, it’s a lack of investment. … It would cost about $20 million to maintain all the vacant land in the city of Pittsburgh. This city has intentionally neglected certain communities. And so the hope of any land-bank legislation would be the potential to maintain the land. But, since I’ve not seen any money or heard any money to maintain the land, then there’s really very little benefit for low- and moderate-income communities for land-banking without significant investment in maintenance. The land bank, without significant money for maintenance, will simply cherrypick the best land and exclude low- and moderate-income communities from their historical homes. CP: [Councilors] Gross or O’Connor, I’m interested in your response to the funding piece of this. I know that many have brought up about how the land bank would be funded initially, and how the city would control costs on the thousands of blighted and vacant properties that it controls.

GROSS: Maintenance is a very important issue, and that’s where I think Burgess is rightly shining the light. We have these thousands of parcels [and] they are a tremendous problem for the communities, especially the ones he represents, and he’s the best spokesperson to that issue. The way this has to work by state law, and by our charter, in the city — there’s no wholesale transfer. The land bank would not be born tomorrow with ownership of thousands and thousands of parcels in

GROSS: What we do now is that every parcel comes before city council and we vote on it. And we see what the result is: It’s a decades-long backlog in processing. What the neighborhood groups, what the community that came down to city council wants, is to be able to more easily see their neighborhoods become what they want them to be. To have more control in the neighborhoods and not in city council. There’s no point of introducing this legislation if we’re just going to maintain the status quo. LAVELLE: The fact of the matter is it only takes council two weeks to dispose of land. The problem is we have never funded our real-estate department. We have never given them the amount of lawyers necessary to deal with title. We don’t necessarily need a land bank. Council is … the ﬁnal and last layer of public protection because we are elected by a public body who represents [community] interests. GROSS: It’s absolutely true [that] we can do a lot better internally. But we don’t require our real-estate department to have anywhere near the level of transparency, public input, accountability or governance that the land bank would have. BURGESS: The four members of council who represent 70 percent of the landCONTINUES ON PG. 10

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 03.26/04.02.2014

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BLIGHT PLAN, CONTINUED FROM PG. 08

bank-eligible land have all agreed that they want to retain council’s oversight. Those who have almost no land-bankable land have pushed to have council removed because they, of course, represent the interest of those who want to steal the land from low- and moderate-income communities. In this case, they’re becoming fronts for those interests. All of the things that I’ve said, they have not yet once given answers to. One: Who wrote the bill? They won’t tell you. Two: Where’s the funding [from?] They won’t tell you. Three: Why remove council’s oversight? CP: As the [Burgess/Lavelle amendments are] written now, they would require unanimous approval by council [over individual parcels disposed by the land bank] — and given my understanding of how council operates now — [land-use decisions are not required to be unanimous but] often deferred to the council member whose district it is. BURGESS: What we simply did was codify council’s tradition. In 99.9 percent of all land votes, they’re all unanimous. If you don’t do it that way, the council can decide, over the objections of that councilperson, how the land is disposed of. And notice this land bank will not have the power of eminent domain, so it’s never going to touch Shadyside, really. It’s never going to affect Squirrel Hill or Highland Park. It’s going to affect Homewood, North Side, the Hill, Beltzhoover, S h e ra d e n , t h o s e c o m munities. And so it is unfortunate […] we see this systematic disrespect, unconcern, for the rights of these communities. And then we have council willing to, for special-interest groups, shepherd a process that eliminates the rights of those people in order for the land to be seized.

maintain land and clear title quicker and get it back to functional use,” everyone would say, “Great.” CP: [One concern, Councilor Gross,] is that you’d have [on the land-bank staff and board] unelected people with total authority over what happens to land. GROSS: Councilman Burgess will be able to lobby all of us to vote in support of every piece of parcel in his council district if he chooses. … I want to be clear on that. We’re talking about a very slow ramp-up in inventory. BURGESS: Let us suggest that there are two communities. … There’s the community that is primarily represented by Mr. O’Connor and Ms. Gross — and when they say community, that’s their experience. And so they talk about things from their perspective. But unfortunately, [moderate- and low-income communities] are different. They react different. They don’t have the capacity. They don’t have the sophistication. They don’t have the resources. And so I oftentimes am not only the last, sometimes I am the only protection that these communities have. And so because they have a sophisticated community, they are now going to create this sophisticated process that’s working really well in their communities.

“IT’S NEVER GOING TO AFFECT SQUIRREL HILL OR HIGHLAND PARK. IT’S GOING TO AFFECT HOMEWOOD, NORTH SIDE, THE HILL, BELTZHOOVER, SHERADEN.”

SPRING FLOWER SHOW

March 22 through April 20 Celebrate the return of warmer weather at Phipps Conservatory and Botanical Gardens, where our Spring Flower Show pairs beautiful music with beautiful ¾owers that will make your heart sing. It’s sure to be a treat for your ears and a reward for your eyes. For more information, or to plan your visit, go to phipps.conservatory.org.

O’CONNOR: To that point, we have met with a slew of community members, community residents, all across the city of Pittsburgh. We’ve shown them our summary points. Not one has objected to most of what we’ve been hearing. LAVELLE: I can tell you why that is, and the devil is in the details. Prior to the introduction of the actual legislation, if you had gone through those same communities and the same community groups and said, “Hey, we have an idea of how to

GROSS: We have an opportunity to return control to the neighborhoods. Having the city squat on vast acreage in your neighborhood is not having neighborhood control of the land in your neighborhood. Being able to return these properties to productive use and by taking the politics out of it by taking the city out of it and trusting — it is partly trust, I will not quibble about that — BURGESS: We don’t trust you, though. GROSS: Fair enough; you don’t have to trust me. You can participate in the board governance, in the accountability, in the transparency and the public input. The land bank will be accountable not only to the public, but to the elected city council. LAVELLE: If something goes horribly wrong, we have an overly aggressive board that wants to take the most viable land in the Hill District, Manchester or wherever, rush CONTINUES ON PG. 12

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 03.26/04.02.2014

CARLOW UNIVERSITY PRESENTS

An Evening with Edna O’Brien A Life of Writing Saturday, April 5, 2014 7:30 p.m. Book signing immediately following.

”There was that search in me for ... words, as if these words that I would, with difficulty, find, were the generators of some kind of magic. Or transformation from the dull world, as I might call it, to the ascendant world.” _ Edna O’Brien

$15 General Admission $ 5 Student Admission (with ID)

For more information, please visit carlow.edu.

Carlow University | Rosemary Heyl Theatre | Antonian Hall 3333 Fifth Avenue | Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania 15213

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the process through, give it to the highest bidder, give it to a speculator, provide no affordable housing in that community — there needs to be some final layer to be able to catch that. … If you build this right on the front end, if it comes to me, I’ll essentially be a rubber-stamp because it would have gone through the process to ensure that this did in fact line up with the master plan, did in fact line up with community support. … So when it [comes] before me, I’m already abreast of it, I understand it [and] I’m a quick sign-off. CP: One piece of this has to do with the disposition of land insofar as it accords with community plans. And I’m interested in especially [Councilor Burgess’] take on this as a measure of insuring that this isn’t, as you put it, a “land-grab” or a top-down attempt to do with land whatever the land-bank board wants. BURGESS: Right now the community plans don’t exist. It would make more sense for us to spend our time not doing this land bank at all, but let’s then do these comprehensive community plans like we did in Larimer. Our energy should be really spent creating these community plans on the front end, and then later figure out how we can compose land distribution that matches with the community plans. GROSS: I do think the onus is on the city and city council to find a way to enable

communities to plan better. Councilman Burgess is correct at shining the light on that as well — that it should be funded, we should help these communities. There’s not always an organized capacity in every one of the 88 neighborhoods in the city of Pittsburgh in order to go through that kind of visioning process and be able to articulate and document for others to know what they want to see in their neighborhoods. It’s a huge opportunity. [But] does it belong in the enabling legislation for the land bank? I think not. CP: So what would happen then? Presumably there could be an interim period where … there is a provision of the bill that is contingent on community plans, but there isn’t actually a well-established community plan. O’CONNOR: If there is [no plan], then the land-bank board and the neighborhood has to go off of priorities. That’s about gathering the neighbors together — you’re not going to have a plan in a week, obviously — but consulting with planning from the city, the URA and the council member and the community groups. GROSS: There are many different needs. Part of the challenge is: This is one Pittsburgh land bank — and how do you not hobble its capacity to operate in 88 neighborhoods? A Z I M M E RM A N @ P G HC I T Y PA P E R. C OM

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 03.26/04.02.2014

{BY MATT BORS}

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 03.26/04.02.2014

Proposed fracking under Deer Lakes Park could run afoul of state constitution {BY BILL O’DRISCOLL} IN THE 1980S, when John Dernbach was

a lawyer and special assistant for Pennsylvania’s Department of Environmental Resources, the agency’s offices featured posters trumpeting the Commonwealth’s Environmental Rights Amendment. The 1972 addition to the state’s constitution guaranteed a right to clean air and pure water. “Pennsylvania’s public natural resources are the common property of all people, including generations yet to come,” reads Article 1, Section 27. And the trustee of these resources, it adds, is the Commonwealth itself. “Three really nice sentences,” Dernbach remembers thinking. “Wouldn’t it be nice if the courts treated them like law?” Mostly ignored for 40 years, the amendment resurfaced dramatically in December, when the state Supreme Court scrapped major provisions of Act 13, the state law governing gas-drilling in the Marcellus Shale. Dernbach’s scholarship (he’s now a law professor) figured in that ruling — a decision that might have bearing on Allegheny County Executive Rich Fitzgerald’s drive to drill for gas under the county’s Deer Lakes Park, located in Frazer and West Deer townships. On March 17, Fitzgerald announced he’d reached a tentative lease agreement with gas giant Range Resources and leasing agent Huntley & Huntley to drill under Deer Lakes. No wellpads would go in the park itself; Range would use neighboring wellpads to drill horizontally beneath the park. Shale layers would then be hydrofractured — a process in which rock is broken up by the high-pressure injection of water and chemicals, freeing gas deposits. Before the lease can be executed, the deal must pass Allegheny County Council. While Fitzgerald had yet to make the final lease public at press time, he promises a $4.7 million bonus payment to the county, the creation of a $3 million park-improvement fund, and royalties he estimates at $3 million a year for the 30-year life of the lease. The 1,180-acre park is named for its spring-fed lakes, and the county’s website touts it as “a paradise for fishermen.” Activists denounced the deal as misguided and environmentally risky, especially the threats of air and water pollution. And some predict that the Act 13 ruling — and Article 1, Section 27 itself — will help activists derail the proposal.

Mel Packer, of anti-drilling coalition Protect Our Parks, says that in case the lease goes through, “We’re talking to lawyers.” The parks are a public trust, and “the government is limited by the constitution in what it does with trust resources,” says Jordan Yeager, one of the attorneys for the plaintiffs who won the Act 13 fight. “When you are engaged in [fracking], you are … injecting toxic chemicals into those public resources,” says Yeager, of Doylestown, Pa.-based firm Curtin & Heefner. John Smith, another plaintiff’s attorney in the case, says that until now, government decisions about drilling have considered only revenue. “There was never a question about the health and safety,” said Smith at a March 12 panel discussion. Under the Act 13 ruling, however, governments must consider, “Do my actions further constitutional objectives?” says Smith, of Smith & Butz, based in Washington County. Dernbach, who teaches at Widener University, says it’s unclear whether a lease that disallows well pads on a parkland proper would violate Article I, Section 27. Still, “it would be prudent for the county to investigate those questions” before approving this lease, says Dernbach, whose scholarship Chief Justice Ronald D. Castille cited seven times in his Act 13 ruling. Fitzgerald touts lease provisions for testing surface water near wells accessing Deer Lakes. But critics call such provisions insufficient. “All he’s saying is, ‘If there’s a problem, we are more likely to catch it, maybe,’” says Adam Garber, of Penn Environment. “If he was about keeping the park safe, we would do everything to minimize drilling near the parks.” Another issue is the county’s plans for spending gas revenue. Under public-trust criteria, all such revenue must help conserve or improve trust lands themselves, says George Jugovic, chief counsel for environmental group PennFuture. But despite Fitzgerald’s argument that drilling revenue is the best way to refurbish the park system’s battered infrastructure, the county executive proposes feeding the vast majority of the money into the general operating budget. “There’s a real concern that this violates the constitution,” says Jugovic. “Our concern is more based on principle and this trend of

“IF HE WAS ABOUT KEEPING THE PARK SAFE, WE WOULD DO EVERYTHING TO MINIMIZE DRILLING NEAR THE PARKS.”

shifting funding of government operations on the backs of things that were intended to be conserved for future generations.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;I think [Fitzgeraldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s spending plan] would leave the county vulnerableâ&#x20AC;? to a lawsuit, agrees Dernbach. In 2012, the Pennsylvania Environmental Defense Fund sued the Commonwealth over gas revenue from state forestland, claiming that the state fattened the general operating budget with $600 million that should have aided conservation efforts instead. A decision from Commonwealth Court is expected shortly, says PEDF attorney John Childe. Allegheny County ofďŹ cials sound unconcerned about the possibility of legal action over Deer Lakes. â&#x20AC;&#x153;We feel very comfortable that weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re going through the necessary steps to address any concerns that would be raised in a lawsuit,â&#x20AC;? says county solicitor Andrew SzeďŹ . SzeďŹ emphasized that the Act 13 decision was not a majority ruling: Of the six justices who weighed in on the case, only two others backed Castilleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s reliance on the Environmental Rights Amendment. That may weaken its power to set a legal precedent. Other Pennsylvania municipalities have leased parkland for drilling. Washington Countyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Cross Creek Park, for instance,

already hosts wellpads. But Allegheny County would be the largest local government to do so, and activists especially distrust Fitzgerald. During his campaign for county executive, county records show, he accepted lots of gas-industry money, including nearly $20,000 from politicalaction committees or executives associated with Range and Huntley & Huntley alone. Huntley executives contributed another $10,000 to Fitzgerald in 2013.

PUBLIC MEETING ON THE PROPOSED DRILLING

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Wed., April 2, hosted by the county, at Deer Lakes Park at Deer Lakes High School, 163 East Union Road, in Cheswick.

Neither has some of Fitzgeraldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s rhetoric inspired conďŹ dence among environmentalists. At county councilâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s March 18 meeting, he told councilors, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re lucky to partner with a good company like Range.â&#x20AC;? At a March 12 panel discussion on fracking, before a vocally anti-drilling audience, he said that â&#x20AC;&#x153;hopefullyâ&#x20AC;? state regulators will police the wells properly. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Hopefully,â&#x20AC;? he added, â&#x20AC;&#x153;we learn from some of the past mistakes with our air quality, our water quality.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Hopefullyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;?â&#x20AC;? piped up someone in the crowd.

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Take 279 or 376 to the Grant-Liberty Exit. In the Strip District between 16th & 17th.

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222 5th Avenue 412-637-2920 MILLVALE

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Limited time offer. See store for details. $25 down and $25/Month,with no interest if you qualify. Samsung and the Samsung Galaxy are both registered trademarks of Samsung Electronic Co., Ltd. All products and brand names are trademarks or registered of their respective companies. Screen image simulated. Appearance of the phone may vary. For 4GLTE coverage, please see mycricket.com. Terms,conditions and other restrictions apply. Sales tax excluded. ©2014 Cricket Communications, Inc.

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 03.26/04.02.2014

Every time you click “reload,” the saints cry.

In celebration of Port Authorityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 50th Anniversary we will be visiting our past, but also looking to the future. Watch for upcoming events in our T stations and around town. Our friends from the Pennsylvania Trolley Museum will be distributing a small token of our appreciation at our Steel Plaza, Gateway and North Side T Stations on Thursday morning, March 27th. To kick things off, here is a list of where and when our partners will be offering some goodies during morning rush.* Panera Bread, Gateway Station. Thursday, March 27th. Brueggerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Bagels, Steel Plaza and Wood Street T Stations. Friday, March 28th. And stay tuned to 91.3 WYEP for more info on upcoming events.

* One per customer, while supplies last.

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the

THE MENU’S MODERN UPDATES INCLUDE SUSHI ROLLS AND A SASHIMI PLATTER

STORM PREP {BY ALEX ZIMMERMAN} Quiet Storm suddenly abated, but a new one may be slowly brewing. You likely won’t recognize it by its name — AVA Café + Lounge — or location (just north of Centre Avenue on Craig Street.) But take a hard look at the chairs and the vegan-friendly options, and chances are you’ll find yourself on familiar ground. Jill MacDowell, former owner/chef at the now-shuttered Quiet Storm, in Friendship, is running the month-old food operation at Justin Strong’s AVA. (Strong, who ran Shadow Lounge and its sister bar, AVA, in East Liberty, is a fellow transplant to the North Oakland location.) MacDowell acknowledges the clientele at the old Shadow Lounge and Quiet Storm don’t overlap much, and the new venue is not the sum of its parts. For starters, “I don’t have a kitchen,” MacDowell says. For now, the menu is a “placeholder,” limited to items like bagels, salads, a tasty tofu wrap and turkey sandwich — plus a couple of specials each day to mix things up. And even though she “doubts that Quiet Storm Two will ever happen,” MacDowell says they’re in the process of getting a liquor license and putting together a new kitchen upstairs. That addition will pave the way for a version of MacDowell’s popular brunch, and the return of best-sellers like Quiet Storm home fries — by May, she hopes. And even though MacDowell says it’s been difficult to get people through the door, she’s hoping that the place will soon look “kind of Quiet Stormish.” AZIMMERMAN@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

8 a.m.-3p.m. weekdays. 304 N. Craig St., North Oakland. 412-904-3400

FriedFish

Report

ST. ROSALIA 411 Greenfield Ave., Greenfield 412-421-1692 3-7:30 p.m. Fridays during Lent, including Good Friday $9 gets you a main dish, two sides and a drink. Traditional sandwich is heaped with fish. The crab cakes, which are more like patties, are a tasty substitute. Table service provided by cheerful child volunteers.

BEST OF PAST AND PRESENT

{PHOTOS BY HEATHER MULL}

Pan-seared New Zealand king salmon atop baby spinach and white beans

{BY ANGELIQUE BAMBERG + JASON ROTH}

UNNING A restaurant is, famously,

a tooth-and-claw business. Many establishments, even good ones, stay open only a few years at best. A generation of service is almost unheard-of … until you get to Leechburg, a charming town north of Pittsburgh. There, in a restored farmhouse on State Route 66, 1844 Restaurant has been in operation for 40 years. Though this is an eon in the lifetime of a restaurant, it is just a blip in the age of the premises. The name 1844 commemorates the oldest recorded tax assessment for the farmhouse, which is probably older still, and occupies a land grant conveyed in 1756. Over the decades, its small but gracious rooms have sheltered families engaged in fruit farming, harness horse racing and, since 1974, running a restaurant that, back in the day, specialized in prime rib. Prime rib is still on 1844’s menu, but

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 03.26/04.02.2014

today there is so much more. The restaurant is still owned by its original proprietor, Robert Gorelli, but his son — who grew up in the business, then traveled — has returned to bring fresh ideas to the kitchen. As a result, 1844 offers an unprecedented patina of tradition combined with a surefooted sensitivity to 21st-century tastes.

1844 RESTAURANT

690 State Route 66, Leechburg. 724-845-1844 HOURS: Thu.-Sat. 5-10 p.m. PRICES: Soups, salads, starters and sushi $6-16; entrees $14-28 LIQUOR: Full bar

CP APPROVED The menu’s modern updates are exempliﬁed most starkly by the sushi rolls and sashimi platter, but even these come full circle to the restaurant’s beginnings: The “1844 roll” pairs wasabi and alfalfa

sprouts with prime rib and smoked Gouda cheese. Shrimp cocktail sounds like a dish that would have been on the menu in 1974, but probably not in the current, Mexicaninspired version starring sofrito lemon sauce. For the most part, 1844’s modernization of its classically continental menu is subtle, but there is occasional innovation: The combination of tempura shrimp with orange cayenne, diced cucumbers and bleu cheese is unusual, to say the least. We started with an item that was new to us, but seemed traditional: mozzarella en carrozza, which is essentially a croque monsieur made with cheese, basil and whole-wheat bread, dipped in egg yolk, pan-fried and served with roasted redpepper reduction. Like the world’s most sophisticated grilled cheese, it featured crisp edges and a stretchy, creamy ﬁlling, while the reduction contrasted this richness with a refreshing zing of spice.

A dining companion ordered the sashimi platter and was slightly disappointed that the “variety” promised on the menu was limited to wild New Zealand salmon. But, he was not in the least disappointed by the silky, fresh-tasting fish: sushi grade, indeed. The same fish recurred in Jason’s salmon roulade, slices of filet wrapped around lump crabmeat, baked and finished with garlic cream. This preparation resulted in salmon that was slightly overdone: Higher heat and briefer time in the oven might have improved it. But the combination of rich salmon and sweet crab was classic, and the cream sauce featured a pleasantly mellowed garlic base, with counterpoint provided by plenty of cracked black pepper.

Fresh greens with balsamic reduction, goat cheese and berries

Greens and beans featured complex savory and umami flavors that belied a dish made with little more than cannellini beans, spinach (in place of the traditional escarole) and parmesan cheese. Another Italian standard — pasta in vodka sauce — came with a skewer of grilled Alaskan scallops. Though these were a little bit fishy-tasting, the slightly chunky tomato reduction was deeply flavorful and satisfying. Ordering a child’s portion of prime rib may have been a mistake: The thin slice struggled to offer the meatiness of a traditional cut. But we did get to taste the superiority of the chef’s rosemary jus reduction, which was thicker and more flavorful than the standard, watery jus. Rosemary also appeared as a garnish atop the mashed yams, which tasted less like candied baby food and more like an excellent roast squash. Sautéed asparagus, a delightful harbinger of spring, was tender-crisp and just right. Our enjoyment of all this food was only heightened by consuming it in the basement Keeping Room, a former root cellar which now houses a bar and dining room dominated not by flat-screen TVs, but by a massive stone fireplace. This, plus mellow lighting and warm service, made us want to linger long after our meals were finished, perhaps with a nightcap at the bar. Here’s to another 40 years. INFO@ PGHC ITY PAP ER.CO M

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On the RoCKs

{BY HAL B. KLEIN}

ROOM TO GROW Sarah Thomas brings diverse experiences to Bar Marco wine room Sarah Thomas describes her role at Bar Marco’s Wine Room this way: “It’s like I’m hosting a fantastic dinner party, except I didn’t have to cook.” Located in the Strip District restaurant’s wine cellar, the candle-lit Wine Room is open Wednesdays through Saturdays, with two seatings each night. At the 6 p.m. First Seating ($55 per person), Thomas pairs wines with four courses from executive chef Jamilka Borges; the 8 p.m. Main Seating ($125) features between 8 and 12 courses and pairings. Seatings are limited to 10 people; prices include tax, tip, food and wine. Thomas took what might seem like an unconventional path to wine service. The 26-year-old studied poetry as an undergraduate, and earned a master’s degree in English literature from Cambridge University at the age of 22. She was on a path toward medical school before deciding to become a sommelier. But the Wine Room, she says, is the perfect setting to maximize her diverse interests. For her, literature is story-telling and poetry is people. Her interest in research and technical details, meanwhile, comes from her science background. “Organic chemistry has actually paid off,” she says. When devising the pairings, Borges comes up with the menu first, and then the duo talks and makes minor adjustments to suit Thomas’ desired wine selections. Thomas’ selections lean toward Old World wines, but guests should expect something a bit outside the mainstream. For example, a recent First Seating featured: a semi-dry, herbal French vermouth; a briny, yeasty sherry; a soft floral Austrian white; and a funky, semi-effervescent red from Italy. Thomas says that while the primary factor in selecting each wine is ensuring harmony with the food, the stories behind the wines are also part of the experience. “It’s the people behind the wine that draws me to them,” Thomas says. “It’s the farmers and winemakers and the people who are devoted to each bottle. That’s what moves me when I buy wines.”

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Grandma Rose’s CATERING & PASTRY

THE FOLLOWING DINING LISTINGS ARE RESTAURANTS RECOMMENDED BY CITY PAPER FOOD CRITICS

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 03.26/04.02.2014

BADO’S CUCINA. 3825 Washington Road, Peters Township. 724-942-3904. The menu at this cozy venue is a focused exploration of authentic Italian cuisine: homemade pasta and sauces, pizza and, instead of full-on entrées, tapas-size portions of heartier fare such as lamb chops and spareribs. Almost everything is cooked in a 625-degree wood-fired oven in the open cucina. JF BIGHAM TAVERN. 321 Bigham St., Mount Washington. 412-431-9313. This Mount Washington spot has all the pleasures of a local pub in a neighborhood best known for dress-up venues. It offers pub grub with a palate, such as burgers topped with capicola and green peppers. There is also a dizzying array of wings, including a red curry-peanut, linking a classic American bar snack to the flavors of Asian street food. JE

The Pines Tavern {PHOTO BY HEATHER MULL}

bustling, homey family-run venue is everything a breakfastand-lunch diner ought to be. The food is made from scratch: Alongside standards (eggs, pancakes, and hot and cold sandwiches) are also distinctive options, including German potato pancakes, ham off the bone and a sandwich BLUE. Duncan Manor tantalizingly called a Plaza, McCandless. www. per “meatloaf melt.” J 412-369-9050. Blue a p ty pghci m may be located in a .co GIA VISTO. 4366 Old strip mall, but it makes William Penn Highway, up points with an urbane, Monroeville. 412-374-1800. lively, clublike interior and a The menu at this welcoming sophisticated, contemporary Italian restaurant ranges from menu that runs the gamut from simple classics to elegant the de rigueur (chicken satay) inventions. Whether it’s a fried to the refreshing (gorgonzola risotto appetizer enlivened hummus). And that’s just with a elemental but sublime the appetizers. LE red sauce, or a perfectly cooked salmon on a MediterraneanBRGR. 5997 Penn Circle South, inspired bed of beans and East Liberty (412-362-2333) vegetables, the fare exhibits the and 20111 Rt. 19, Cranberry kitchen’s attention to detail. KF Township (724-742-2333). This casual restaurant celebrates — and in many cases, imaginatively re-creates — America’s signature contribution to global cuisine. BRGR keeps its patties to a reasonable size, which allows for a variety of gourmet toppings — plus room for excellent fried sides (French fries, onion rings, pickles), or milkshakes (traditional or spiked). JE

FULL LIST ONLINE

BRILLOBOX. 4104 Penn Ave., Bloomfield. 412-621-4900. A bar that serves well-designed retro chic with its whiskey and beer, Brillobox is (for now) the cool place to be. The menu isn’t lengthy, but it’s broad: Choose from bar staples or more inventive (and veggie-friendly) specialties such as Moroccan roasted-vegetable stew or herbed polenta wedges. JE DOR-STOP. 1430 Potomac Ave., Dormont. 412-561-9320. This

{PHOTO BY HEATHER MULL}

Nu Modern Jewish Bistro IO. 300A Beverly Road, Mount Lebanon. 412-440-0414. The revamped Io’s (formerly Iovino’s) new simplified menu seems a near-perfect distillation of tasty, trendy and traditional. Some

dishes are sophisticated classics, like pan-seared flounder with fresh tomato and asparagus. Others are ever-popular workhorses like the BLT and fish tacos, or reinventions such as a Thai empanada or Pittsburgh’s own “city chicken”(skewered pork). KE JOSEPH TAMBELLINI RESTAURANT. 5701 Bryant St., Highland Park. 412-665-9000. The menu at this convivial white-linen Italian restaurant straddles the ultra-familiar — the five choices in the chicken and veal section are trattoria staples — and the more unusual. There’s a strong emphasis on fresh pasta and inventively prepared seafood, such as crusted Chilean sea bass in an orange buerre blanc and berry marmalade. LE JUNIPER GRILL. 4000 Washington Road, McMurray. 724-260-7999. This sister restaurant to Atria’s chain cultivates an ambience of artfully casual insouciance. The preparations — many with Mexican or Asian influences — are appealingly straightforward, neither plain nor fussy: Pork loin with bourbon glaze; spicy flatbread loaded with shrimp, roasted red and poblano peppers, pineapple and cheese; and skirt steak drizzled in a creamy chipotle sauce. LE J.W. HALL’S STEAK AND SEAFOOD INN. 2284 Broadhead Road, Aliquippa. 724-375-6860. This old-fashioned, family-style steakhouse offers a satisfying, well-executed menu of surf-and-turf favorites, including broiled shrimp appetizer, langostinos and prime rib. The menu’s emphasis on steak and seafood rises to special occasions, while plenty of pasta CONTINUES ON PG. 24

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DAILY HAPPY HOUR: $3 Drafts- $5 Super Premium Drafts, $6 Specialty Drinks & Martinis, ½ Off All Glass Wines, ½ Off Select Appetizers Join us Sunday’s starting at 10 am during all home games for Kids Day! Special kids menu and activities.

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BZ Bar and Grill 140 Federal Street (next to PNC Park) 412-323-BZBG(2924) • bzbarandgrill.com Monday through Sunday 11am-2am

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 03.26/04.02.2014

NU MODERN JEWISH BISTRO. 1711 Murray Ave., Squirrel Hill. 412-422-0220. This modern take on the traditional Jewish deli makes the argument that such Eastern European cuisine deserves to be served alongside the world’s favorites. Stop in for matzoh-ball soup, egg creams, blintzes and classic deli sandwiches, including one made with “Montreal meat,” a sort of Canadian hybrid of corned beef and pastrami. JF

{BY JESSICA SERVER}

DAYLIGHT SAVINGS Legume broadens appeal with “ridiculously cheap” lunch specials IF YOU THINK Legume is a place to leisurely enjoy a

THE PINES TAVERN. 5018 Bakerstown Road, Gibsonia. 724-625-3252. A longtime commitment to seasonal and locally sourced food (including on-site gardens and beehives) spans the menu here. The restaurant’s casual elegance is suitable for drinks with friends or a celebration meal. And the fare ranges from pub grub, like burgers and meatloaf, to complex entrée plates, complete with wine and beer suggestions. KE SMILING BANANA LEAF. 5901 Bryant St., Highland Park. 412-362-3200. At this absolute jewel-box of a restaurant, the menu emphasizes authentic Thai dishes rather than Thai-inflected Chinese food. Grilled meat appetizers are beautifully seasoned, and the pad Thai offers a lively balance of ingredients. The assertively spicy pumpkin curry features a special variety of Thai gourd. JF VALLOZZI’S PITTSBURGH. 220 Fifth Ave., Downtown. 412394-3400. The venerable Italian restaurant from Greensburg now has a Downtown outpost. In this elegant space, some classic dishes are updated; a few favorites, like turtle soup are retained; and the fresh mozzarella bar deserves to become a classic. Try the distinctive pizza, with a layered, cracker-like crust. LE VIETNAM’S PHO. 1627 Penn Ave., Strip District. 412-281-8881. The menu features a manageable selection of noodle and rice dishes and the eponymous pho soups. There’s also a tempting assortment of simple vegetable dishes and appetizers that go beyond mere spring rolls, such as whole quail with lemon leaves and herbs, and ground-shrimp patties on sugar-cane skewers. JF YAMA SUSHI. 515 Adams Shoppes, Rt. 228, Mars. 724591-5688. This suburban eatery offers honest, straightforward Japanese cooking without hibachi theatrics or other culinary influences. Besides the wide sushi selection and tempura offerings, try squid salad or entrees incorporating udon, Japan’s buckwheat noodles. KF

Lunch crew at Legume

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dishes, sandwiches and pubstyle appetizers accommodate regulars. LE

grass-fed ﬂank steak with parsley butter, you’re not wrong. However, chef Trevett Hooper also wants you to consider dropping into his North Oakland eatery for a quick burger for lunch. “Moo Madness” — the restaurant’s self-described “ridiculously cheap” March lunch special — features three courses for $9. And plans to beef up the restaurant’s lunch presence won’t end there. Legume is often a dining destination for Pittsburgh foodies, thanks to a menu that changes daily and centers on seasonality and high-end ingredients. Labor-intensive preparations and quality sourcing, however, sometimes leave Hooper “uneasy” with the cost the restaurant must charge for dinner. (Medium plates frequently start around $20.) While Hooper spent his younger years “just trying to get people to think [he was] an awesome chef,” he says that his goals have shifted. “I just want to help people eat better, and that’s hard to do in a ﬁne-dining context,” Hooper explains. The question he’s now asking himself is, “How can Legume be a part of people’s daily lives?” Offering a more affordable lunch was one answer. Though the restaurant began serving lunch (weekdays 11:30 a.m.-2 p.m.) in September, business was “a little sluggish,” says Hooper. “We just needed to give people [another] reason to come.” March brought in the current “Moo Madness” special — and a big bump in business. The special includes a soup or salad appetizer, a choice of four entrees (a burger, pasta special, pierogies and sausage, and another daily veggie special) and dessert. The “Moo” is a play on the variety of cow-based products served: grass-fed beef, house-made beef kielbasa and local cheeses. If you can’t make it to Legume before the end of March, plans are underway for another lunch special through April, with yet another playful theme. Legume also plans to begin offering $5 kids’ lunches in the summer months. “We’re trying to feel out how to have a really nice-valued lunch, always,” says Hooper. “[It’s] about community-building, and really reaching people in the neighborhood.” I N F O@ P G H C I T Y PA P E R. C OM

214 N. Craig St., Oakland. 412-621-2700 or www.legumebistro.com

LOCAL

“WE’RE JUST ACTORS WHO JUST PICKED UP OUR INSTRUMENTS FIVE YEARS AGO.”

BEAT

{BY KAYLA COPES}

Moemaw Naedon isn’t the average rapper whose album liner notes feature a slew of producers; he does it all himself. The Butler native, who lives in Millvale now, writes, raps and produces, and prides himself on doing such. “I would say my versatility [sets me apart],” he says. “Since I also produce, I can freestyle, I can write battle-type stuff, I can write stuff with a message, and I can write abstract poetry. All of that comes from an honest vibe that I’m feeling.” Naedon (real name Ryan Macomber) is a 32-year-old who has been rapping on and off since he was 17. Naedon says that he didn’t get serious with rapping until six years ago. “What inspired me were artists like Gang Starr, Wu-Tang and Dr. Dre,” he says. “The Chronic changed a lot for me and made me interested in the production side of it.” Although Moemaw Naedon does a lot of his own production, he’s not completely alone in that aspect. That’s where New Orleans-based Brother Seamus comes in. The two worked together on a CD project called Brother Seamus and Moemaw Naedon Present Galactic Brethren: The Fall of Zidor, which is available now. “Brother Seamus is a Pittsburgh native and became my neighbor back in Butler,” Naedon explains. “We started getting samplers and tape decks back in high school. We’ve pretty much known each other our whole lives. There’s an effortless connection between me and him.” Besides Brother Seamus, Naedon likes to work with producers including The Custodian of Records and The Latebloomer (both from New Jersey), and Connect, who is from Pittsburgh. Naedon has plans to release a new album of his own called Circular Signals this summer. In the meantime, the three-man group he’s a part of, Fortified PhonetX, is preparing to embark on an East Coast tour. “Our live performance is definitely our strongest aspect,” he says. “We definitely don’t play around with that. My live show is what I take the most serious.” INFO@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

For more on Moemaw Naedon: www. facebook.com/moemawnaedon or Twitter: @moemawnaedon N E W S

MC and then some: Moemaw Naedon

JACK OF ALL TRADES

{PHOTO COURTESY OF THOM KAINE}

Storytellers with instruments: Pigpen Theatre Co.

MUSICALTHEATRE {BY JULIA COOK}

EANING AGAINST the corner of a treehouse, Pigpen Theatre Co. guitarist Ryan Melia plucks the opening melody to the band’s song “Bremen,” and two small girls immediately begin to dance. The band has ventured outside to Athena Montessori School in Austin to play for a South by Southwest badge-free captive audience, turned into a bouncing mass by the harmonizing, banjo-picking group. As students of drama at Carnegie Mellon University, the men of Pigpen

blended dramatic ﬂair with an adaptive passion for music. When they wrote their ﬁrst play as a group, only half of them knew how to play instruments, and the music was meant to be funny. But the

PIGPEN THEATRE CO. WITH THE SPRING STANDARDS

8 p.m. Tue., April 1. Mr. Small’s Theatre, 400 Lincoln Ave., Millvale. $15. All ages. 412-821-4447 or www.mrsmalls.com

audience took note, and in the next project, the developing band decided to focus more on its sound. A turning point came at a theater festival in Martha’s Vineyard, where the band gained confidence and impressed a producer. While the group is admittedly known for storytelling, Pigpen refuses to be confined to one medium, delving into literature, theater and film, as well as a unique brand of folk-tale pop. The result is an overarching production company: a joint venture between the CONTINUES ON PG. 26

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eight members, now based in Brooklyn. “We agreed we’d like to be doing more than just theater,” says drummer Arya Shahi, “so we thought, why don’t we just start a production company and aim for music, theater and film and novels, the whole nine yards?” The band members give credit to the CMU drama department, which gave them the tools necessary not only to work together, but also to work individually as artists. Aside from his ballet training, Shahi cites collaboration as his most important tool. Banjo player Ben Ferguson agrees: “A lot of the first-year exercises are about being in a group, an ensemble. Naturally, the real world wants to pull you into this individualized sense of craft. And I think what CMU taught us was that strong sense of ensemble.” The band still keeps that in mind. Rather than establishing a hierarchy, every member is charged with accelerating ideas to their completion. According to Shahi, “It’s been about finding those people we want to work with, that enable us to work in the way that we do.” Producers the band has worked with quickly realize the importance of putting the members in a room together and letting the rest happen. “So many of us got better with each other,” Shahi continues. “Writing music just feels so much more natural with these guys than it does when we sit in with [outside] musicians.” “It’s about being on task: We need a kind of linear instruction process on how to get everything done, but it’s also about everyone wearing every hat,” explains guitarist Matt Nuernberger. “We’re impostor musicians; we’re just actors who just picked up our instruments five years ago,” he adds with a laugh. The performance at Mr. Small’s will be a blend of theatrics and music, bits of Depression-era washboard music alongside Celtic laments. With influences including Anais Mitchell and The Decemberists, Ferguson says, “oftentimes the musical style is dictated by the stories they’re telling in their songs.” As in a play, establishing the setting of each song is integral to the creative process. “We picked a world for the play — whatever play we were working on — before we wrote the play,” banjo player

Alex Falberg explains. “Whether it be an American tall tale, or an Eastern European cautionary tale, or a Celtic sea shanty: The music that was born in those plays was also inspired by those worlds.” So how do they create these worlds onstage? The band members say their biggest challenge was not bringing the elaborate settings to the live shows, but rather condensing their performances into a purely auditory experience. “We’re concerned with every little piece of how it’s edited and put together” says Falberg. They encountered a similar struggle when they began writing their upcoming book, which is based on an old idea for a play. The book is “the hardest thing we’ve ever done,” according to Nuernberger. The challenge, they say, comes from the lack of performance in literature. “With a book, we’re not a part of the equation; we write it down and then we give it to you, and then you go off and create your own interpretation,” Shahi says. The members of Pigpen Theatre Co. eagerly await their upcoming performance in Pittsburgh — some more than others. “You guys do whatever; I’m going to hitchhike,” Ferguson, when he learned about the band’s day off before their performance. When they’re not inspiring Irish jigs or practicing for theatrical performances, the band has a favorite tour-bus game: You have one day in Pittsburgh. You don’t get full. What do you eat? So if you can’t wait to catch them at Mr. Small’s, you might ﬁnd the guys at Bangkok Balcony, South Aiken Bar and Grille, DeLuca’s or Uncle Sam’s Subs. Maybe if you do a jig, they’ll even play you a song.

“WITH A BOOK, WE’RE NOT A PART OF THE EQUATION; WE WRITE IT DOWN AND THEN WE GIVE IT TO YOU.”

I N F O@ P G H C I T Y PA P E R. C OM

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 03.26/04.02.2014

NEW RELEASES {BY ANDY MULKERIN} “Delta blues and hillbilly fervor”

MICROWAVES REGURGITANT PHENOMENA

CITY LOVE STORY CITY LOVE STORY

About a half-hour of music in 11 short bursts from the longtime local noise-rock legends. Where the trio’s last record, 2012’s Psychic Impedance, skewed more metal, there’s more chaotic punk and even a little thrash thrown in here, along with the free-jazzy, discordant stuff the band is known for. While most of the tunes clock in at around two minutes, we get everything from a couple of six-minute suites to a 25-second experiment. Searing, complex, good stuff.

Leisurely Americana with pretty vocal harmonies throughout on this debut from a new band with some history. (City Love Story comes from the same folks who brought us Rising Regina, but is a different band.) From newgrass-type country stuff to rock and a little rockabilly, the band provides laidback musical precision. It’s not yet clear just what sets this one apart from other groups doing similar music, but City Love Story is finding its new voice, and doing it pretty flawlessly.

MICROWAVES LP RELEASE. 9 p.m. Sat., March 29. Gooski’s, 3117 Brereton St., Polish Hill. $6. 412-681-1658

CITY LOVE STORY CD RELEASE. 7 p.m. Sat., March 29. Andrew Carnegie Free Library and Music Hall, 300 Beechwood Ave., Carnegie. $15. All ages. 412-276-3456 or www.carnegiecarnegie.org

(NEW ATLANTIS RECORDS)

Ages 21+

national burlesque/variety competition

Ages 21+

accalimed singer-songwriter, with full band

All Ages

Brooklyn’s 9 piece funk army

Ages 21+

American rock with a broad sonic palette

All Ages

(SELF-RELEASED)

www.thunderbirdcafe.net

Apr 27 DEERHOOF

w/ AWKWAFINA, CELESTIAL SHORE

APR 04

ROAD SHOW

APR 05

May 16 DONNA THE BUFFALO

APR 08

APR 10

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X PIGEONS PLAYING PING PONG

APR 24

May 11 CARNIVALESQUE

ESSENTIAL MACHINE UNDERNEATH THE EARTH

WHOOVEZ BANTAMWEIGHT

(SILVER SEED RECORDS)

EP of cute (though not always happygo-lucky) folk tunes from the local band — based around husband and wife, R.J. and Karen Dietrich, who play with a full complement of instrumentalists now. Wellconstructed songs, good vocals and nice production makes this one a fun listen and marketable to boot. Not totally sure about the spoken-word track, but it doesn’t take away from the rest. Recommended! ESSENTIAL MACHINE with THE DUSKWHALES, XAVIER IN THE DOGHOUSE. 6 p.m. Sat., April 12. DV8 Espresso Bar & Gallery, 208 S. Pennsylvania Ave., Greensburg. Free. All ages. 724-219-0804

(SEIZURE MAN)

Vintage-late-’90s emo from the local up-and-comers — the mathy, screamy No Idea Records kind, not the pop-punk kind. Influences from Cap’n Jazz and the like pervade; this one is pretty lo-fi, but that adds to the charm. Nice songs, put together passionately, with some samples —Agent Dale Cooper and more — inserted. Cool that kids are doing this stuff again, and doing it well; looking forward to more from this band. Info on Whoovez’ release show Fri., March 28 is available at www.facebook.com/whoovez

FRUITION

MAR 30

May 9 ROBBEN FORD

Want to get into Grey Area Productions shows for FREE, and get tickets to other events? We're looking for more street team members to hand out flyers at shows around the city as well as other regional concerts and festivals. If you're interested, please send an email to phil@greyareaprod.com with your name, age, location, and how you get around (car, bike, bus...)

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Hugh Masekela: “I don’t take no breaks.”

ACCIDENTAL SUCCESS {BY MIKE SHANLEY} HUGH MASEKELA arrived in 1960s New York with dreams of joining a hard-bop group like Art Blakey’s Jazz Messengers. It was a vibrant period for jazz clubs, and the South African trumpeter met many of his heroes, like Miles Davis and Dizzy Gillespie. They all told him the same thing: Don’t simply try to play straight jazz. “They said I should put in ﬂavors of [the music] wh er e I c ame fr o m, ” Masekela says. “So that’s what I came up with — the hybrid that I do now. What I do is a lot of whatever comes from … swing or whatever, ﬂavored a lot with South African music. I became an aspect of the African Diaspora of music.” Within a few years, he was working on an album that needed one more track. He and his band quickly learned the bright tune “Grazing in the Grass,” with its infectious trumpet tone and clanging cowbell. The advice of his peers paid off, and suddenly Masekela had a No. 1 hit on the pop charts that sold 4 million copies. He wasn’t aiming for commercial success, he says — just to play good music. That same attitude landed him on the bill at the legendary Monterey Pop Festival and much later, on Paul Simon’s Graceland tour, which also drew on the music of Masekela’s home country. Today he continues to release albums under his own name, including an upcoming record with Baobab Babes, a female vocal group from Scandinavia that

performs South African folk songs. Speaking by phone just a few hours after ﬂying into New York from South Africa, Masekela says his extensive career doesn’t have anything to do with musical distinctions like world beat, which have popped up in the ensuing years. “I don’t care for categories. I’ve been a musician all my life, since the age of 4. When I started playing music, there were no categories. I listen to every kind of music, and I’m interested in everything. And if it doesn’t move me, I don’t criticize it.” While he has been outspoken about problems in South Africa, like apartheid and AIDS, Masekela doesn’t see his performances as an attempt at global unity. “We just try to make good music. We’re not on a campaign to bring people together,” he says. Even in the ’60s, “it wasn’t like we were evangelical about it. We never [thought], ‘I’m gonna go out there, SOS people and change people’s lives.’ We just wanted to play well.”

“WHEN I STARTED PLAYING MUSIC, THERE WERE NO CATEGORIES.”

HUGH MASEKELA 7 p.m. Sun., March 30. New Hazlett Theater, North Side. $45. All ages. 412-322-0292 or www.kentearts.org

Masekela, who turns 75 this year, continues to spend most of his time on the road, by choice. “I’ll do a theater production or a record production, working on some television series. I do other things besides music,” he says. “I’m on a second novel as we speak. I don’t take no breaks. At my age, why slow down? I’m in the great part of my life.” I N F O@ P G H C I T Y PA P E R. C OM

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 03.26/04.02.2014

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[ROCK] + THU., MARCH 27

Mindless Self Indulgence is a melting pot of music, from punk rock to electronic music. The group, which has been at it for more than 15 years, is very unapologetic and blunt when it comes to lyrical content â&#x20AC;&#x201D; take, for example the name of its latest album, How I Learned to Stop Giving a Shit and Love Mindless Self Indulgence. The band appears tonight at Stage AE along with special guest The Bunny the Bear. Kayla Copes 7 p.m. 400 North Shore Drive, North Side. $27. All ages. 412-229-5483 or www.stageae.com

â&#x20AC;&#x201D; not limited to, but often keen on, Pittsburghrelated content. Tonight, the mag celebrates the opening of a new office, and a successful first seven, with a DJ party at Pub I.G. in Oakland. Expect sets from DJ Bamboo along with Clevelandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Corey Grand and Columbusâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Chris Mars B, plus giveaways and other goodies. AM 328 Atwood St., Oakland. $5. www.jenesismagazine.com

[BENEFIT] + SAT., MARCH 29

The third annual Cure Rock show is a benefit concert to promote the fight against pediatric and adolescent cancer. Not only does Cure Rock have [HIP HOP] + music, but thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s also FRI., MARCH 28 an information fair to Bobbito Garcia spent educate and raise much of the â&#x20AC;&#x2122;90s as awareness about the co-host of The Stretch disease. The artists Armstrong and performing include Bobbito Show, a Kate Earl (a Los Anlegendary New York geles-based singer City radio show that who has worked helped break many with the likes of of the biggest Brett Dennen), hip-hop names of TeamMate (featuring the day, from Nas to ex-Pittsburgher Dani Wu-Tang Clan. More Mindless Buncher), and locals recently, he wrote a Self Indulgence Triggers and Molly book, Whereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d You Get Alphabet. WPXI is Those? New York Cityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sponsoring the event, at Sneaker Culture: 1960-87, Jergelâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Rhythm Grille. KC 7 p.m. which was reissued for its 10th 285 North Gate Drive, Warrendale. $20. anniversary last year. Tonight, he All ages. 724-799-8333 or www.jergels.com appears at Round Corner Cantina for a DJ set (along with locals Bamboo and Selecta), [PUNK] + TUE., APRIL 01 then tomorrow he shows up at 720 Music, Equal parts silly and pointed, Seattleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Tacocat Clothing and CafĂŠ to sign copies of the book. is something of a millennial take on the Andy Mulkerin 9 p.m. Cantina, 3720 Butler Pacific Northwest scene of the â&#x20AC;&#x2122;90s. The bandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s St., Lawrenceville. $10. 412-904-2279 or most recent video-single, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Crimson Wave,â&#x20AC;? www.roundcornercantina.com. Book signing: manages to mix surf rock, crazy costumes and 2-3 p.m. Sat., March 29. 720 Music, 4405 Butler menstruation. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a little bit subversive, but itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s St., Lawrenceville. Free. All ages. 412-904-4592 all in good fun, as is the bandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s live show, which or www.720records.com goes down tonight at the Mr. Roboto Project. Joining the bill for the April Foolâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s show [HIP HOP] + SAT., MARCH 29 Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s been seven years now that Jenesis Magazine are locals The Lopez and Dumplings. AM 7:30 p.m. 5106 Penn Ave., Bloomfield. $5. has been documenting hip-hop music and All ages. www.therobotoproject.org culture through a regular online publication

N E W S

TA S T E

M U S I C

S C R E E N

M A N D Y PAT I N K I N WITH THE

SATURDAY, APRIL 5 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 8 P.M. â&#x20AC;˘ HEINZ HALL Known for his Broadway roles in Evita and Sunday in the Park with George and beloved IRU KLV FKDUDFWHUV IURP ĹľOP DQG WHOHYLVLRQ VXFK DV ,QLJR 0RQWR\D LQ The Princess Bride DQG 6DXO %HUHQVRQ LQ Homeland, WKH 7RQ\ DQG (PP\ $ZDUG ZLQQLQJ SHUIRUPHU 0DQG\ 3DWLQNLQ MRLQV \RXU 3LWWVEXUJK 6\PSKRQ\ 2UFKHVWUD WR SUHVHQW DQ XQIRUJHWWDEOH HYHQLQJ RI SRSXODU VRQJ DQG %URDGZD\ FODVVLFV

FOR TICKETS: 412.392.4900 OR PITTSBURGHSYMPHONY.ORG +

A R T S

E V E N T S

C L A S S I F I E D S

TO SUBMIT A LISTING: HTTP://HAPPENINGS.PGHCITYPAPER.COM 412.316.3388 (FAX) + 412.316.3342 X194 (PHONE) {ALL LISTINGS MUST BE SUBMITTED BY 9 A.M. FRIDAY PRIOR TO PUBLICATION}

ROCK/POP THU 27

31ST STREET PUB. Anvil, Gran Gila, Thunder Vest, Porno Tongue. Strip District. 412-391-8334. ATRIA’S RESTAURANT & TAVERN. The GRID. North Side. 412-322-1850. BZ’S BAR & GRILL. Spiffy Sean Styles. North Side. 412-323-2924. CIOPPINO SEAFOOD CHOPHOUSE BAR. Terrance Vaughn Trio. Strip District. 412-281-6593. CLUB CAFE. Matthew Mayfield, Brooke Annibale, Jordan McLaughlin. South Side. 412-431-4950. GARFIELD ARTWORKS. Dolfish, Meridian, The Beauregards, Ferdinand The Bull. Garfield. 412-361-2262. HOWLERS COYOTE CAFE. Life(Liss), Morgan Erina, Charmaine Evonne, Molly Alphabet & Chet Vincent, Potwhole, Acrylic Clouds, Awful Waffles. Bloomfield. 412-682-0320. PITTSBURGH CENTER FOR THE ARTS. The Kruger Brothers. Shadyside. 413-361-1915. STAGE AE. Mindless Self Indulgence, The Bunny The Bear. North Side. 412-229-5483.

FRI 28

Tune in, log on, hear the music that matters to you. wyep.org

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 03.26/04.02.2014

31ST STREET PUB. Tilford Sellers & the Wagon Burners, Beagle Brothers, City Mouse Country Mouse. Strip District. 412-391-8334. AVA CAFE & LOUNGE. Joanna Lowe, Charmaine Evonne, Life(Liss), JOLEX. Oakland. 419-650-8601. BLOOMFIELD BRIDGE TAVERN. One Gig at a Time, Cosmic Radio. Bloomfield. 412-682-8611. BZ’S BAR & GRILL. TJ Isenberg. North Side. 412-323-2924. CLUB CAFE. ZOOGMA, Universal Beat Union (Late). South Side. 412-431-4950. CLUB ZOO. Asking Alexandria, August Burns Red, We Came As Romans, Crown The Empire & Born of Osiris. Strip District. 412-201-1100. HAMBONE’S. Polar Scout, Alex Vucelich & the Sweet Medicine Band, Penny Mouth, Andre Costello & the Cool Minors. Lawrenceville. 412-681-4318. THE HANDLE BAR & GRILLE. LOCAL. Canonsburg. 724-746-4227. HOWLERS COYOTE CAFE. Alex Vucelich, Andre Costello & The Cool Miners, Polar Scout. Bloomfield. 724-462-0245. MR. SMALLS THEATER. Drowning Clowns, Lush Budget, Pure Cane Sugar, Nacosta, Thieves

& Gypsys, Mike Why. 2014 Revival Series. Millvale. 866-468-3401. RAMADA INN HOTEL & CONFERENCE CENTER. DaPhunk Band. Greensburg. 724-552-0603. REX THEATER. Reverend Peyton’s Big Damn Roots Revolution Tour w/ Dex Romweber Duo. South Side. 412-381-6811. SILKS LOUNGE AT THE MEADOWS. Tres Lads. Washington. SMILING MOOSE. To Kill A King, The Alcohols Napoleon in Exile, Impossible Colors, My Captain my Sea. South Side. 412-431-4668. STAGE AE. Before You Exit, Spencer Sutherland. North Side. 412-229-5483.

SAT 29

AVA CAFE & LOUNGE. Avi Diamond. EP Release Party. Oakland. 412-335-4197. BALTIMORE HOUSE. The Tony Janﬂone Jr. Duo. Pleasant Hills. THE BRONZE HOOD. Lenny Smith & The Ramblers. Robinson. 412-787-7240.

BROTHERS GRIMM. The GRID. Coraopolis. 412-788-0890. CLUB CAFE. Joe Grushecky & the Houserockers. South Side. 412-431-4950. DOWNEY’S HOUSE. Bottom Floor. Robinson. 412-489-5631. GARFIELD ARTWORKS. Dan Koshute, Butterbirds, Valley Girls. Garfield. 412-361-2262. HOWLERS COYOTE CAFE. Morgan O’Kane, Lynched, Son of Bitch. Bloomfield. 412-682-0320. MOUSETRAP. Zero Fame. Beaver. 724-796-5955. MR. SMALLS THEATER. Lake Street Dive, Ages & Ages. Millvale. 866-468-3401. RAMADA INN HOTEL & CONFERENCE CENTER. CC & Company. Greensburg. 724-552-0603. THE SHOP. Evil Twin, Geb the Great Cackler, Guinovore Oh Glacier, Anita Fix, Zach Haras. Bloomfield. 412-951-0622. SPEAL’S TAVERN. Crew of the Half Moon. 724-433-1322. THUNDERBIRD CAFE. Title Town’s Soul & Funk Dance Party w/ Wesley

MP 3 MONDAY FATHER FLAMETHROWER

Each week, we bring you a new MP3 from a local band. Father Flamethrower celebrates the release of its self-titled full-length with a show Sat., March 29, at the Bloomfield Bridge Tavern; stream or download a sample, “Bear Bait,” on our music blog, FFW>>, at pghcitypaper.com.

Bright & the Hi-Lites. Lawrenceville. 412-682-0177.

DJS

Savoy Brown. CD Release Party. Blawnox. 412-828-2040.

SUN 30

THU 27

SAT 29

ALTAR BAR. Tribal Seeds. Strip District. 412-263-2877. CLUB CAFE. St. Paul & the Broken Bones, Good Graeff, Mike Why. South Side. 412-431-4950. GARFIELD ARTWORKS. Christopher Feltner, Stephen Falke, Guillermo Pizarro, Flavors of Umm, Satyr/Elfheim. Garfield. 412-361-2262. HOWLERS COYOTE CAFE. Guy Jones, BOON, Way of Life. Bloomfield. 412-682-0320. MR. SMALLS THEATER. Shpongle, Desert Dwellers. Millvale. 866-468-3401. THUNDERBIRD CAFE. Fruition. Lawrenceville. 412-682-0177.

MON 31

BELVEDERE’S. Neon w/ DJ hatesyou. 80s Night. Lawrenceville. 412-687-2555. CLUB TABOO. DJ Matt & Gangsta Shak. Homewood. 412-969-0260.

FRI 28

CAPRI PIZZA AND BAR. Bombo Claat Friday’s Reggae w/ VYBZ Machine. East Liberty. 412-362-1250. THE NEW AMSTERDAM. DJ Harry Lurker. Lawrenceville. 412-904-2915. ONE 10 LOUNGE. DJ Goodnight, DJ Rojo. Downtown. 412-874-4582. ROWDY BUCK. Top 40 Dance. South Side. 412-431-2825. RUGGER’S PUB. 80s Night w/ DJ Connor. South Side. 412-381-1330.

SAT 29

ALTAR BAR. Terror, Hundredth, BRILLOBOX. Jay Thurber, KMFD, Counterparts, Expire. Strip District. Steve, Alphonse, Naeem. WRCT 412-263-2877. Presents: A 40th Anniversary Dance ANDREW CARNEGIE FREE Party. Bloomfield. 412-621-4900. LIBRARY MUSIC HALL. DIESEL. DJ CK. South Side. Ferla-Marcinizyn Guitar Duo w/ 412-431-8800. Daphne Alderson. Homage to Pete ROWDY BUCK. Top 40 Dance. Seeger. Carnegie. 412-276-3456. South Side. 412-431-2825. GOOSKI’S. Purling Hiss. S BAR. Pete Butta. South Polish Hill. 412-681-1658. Side. 412-481-7227. THE MR. ROBOTO PROJECT. Broadcaster, Endless Mike & the SMILING MOOSE. Beagle Club, The www. per Electric Sundays. Homeless Gospel Choir, a p pghcitym w/ ServersDown & Mace Ballard, Driver. .co Electric Type. South Side. Bloomfield. 412-706-1643. 412-431-4668. PNC PARK. The Tony Janﬂone Jr. Duo. North Side. 412-323-5000. SMILING MOOSE. EDMOOSE, THUNDERBIRD CAFE. Misty 5x5. Electronic dance music. Boyce & Brewers Row w/ Tiffany South Side. 412-431-4668. Christopher. Lawrenceville. 412-682-0177.

FULL LIST ONLINE

SUN 30

TUE 01

WED 02

TUE 01

BRILLOBOX. Tweens, The Semi-Supervillains, KHeeS. Bloomfield. 412-621-4900. CARNEGIE LIBRARY OF HOMESTEAD MUSIC HALL. Cher Lloyd, Jackson Harris. 412-368-5225. THE MR. ROBOTO PROJECT. Tacocat, The Lopez, Dumplings. Bloomfield. 412-247-9639. MR. SMALLS THEATER. PigPen Theatre Co., The Spring Standards. Millvale. 866-468-3401. SMILING MOOSE. Koji. South Side. 412-431-4668.

WED 02

ALTAR BAR. Skaters, Team Spirit, Nevada Color Skaters. Strip District. 412-263-2877. ARSENAL BOWLING LANES. Semi-Supervillians. Lawrenceville. 412-683-5993. CLUB CAFE. Nathan Zoob, Luca Zan. South Side. 412-431-4950. HOWLERS COYOTE CAFE. OutsideInside, Antique Scream, Nic Lawless. Bloomfield. 412-682-0320. PALACE THEATRE. Dream Theater. Greensburg. 724-836-8000. SMILING MOOSE. Neck Deep, Knucle Puck, Light Years, Trophies & Golden Gate. South Side. 412-431-4668.

SPOON. Spoon Fed. Hump day chill. House music. aDesusParty. East Liberty. 412-362-6001.

HIP HOP/R&B SAT 29

ALTAR BAR. G-Eazy. Strip District. 412-263-2877. SMILING MOOSE. The Heroes & Terrorists, POPGH. South Side. 412-431-4668.

TUE 01

CARNEGIE LIBRARY OF HOMESTEAD MUSIC HALL. Cher Llyod. 412-368-5225.

BLUES THU 27

SEVICHE. Alex Talbot. Downtown. 412-697-3120. SLOPPY JOE’S. Wil E. Tri & the Bluescasters. Mt. Washington. 412-381-4300.

FRI 28

565 LIVE. The Blues Orphans. Bellevue. 412-522-7556. CIOPPINO SEAFOOD CHOPHOUSE BAR. Vince Agwada. Strip District. 412-281-6593. FAWN TAVERN. The Satin Hearts. Tarentum. 724-224-9511. MOONDOG’S. Kim Simmonds &

HARD ROCK CAFE. Muddy Kreek Blues Band, The Flow Band, Orieal & the Revoluters. 6th Annual Blues & R&B Fundraiser for the P.R.O.M.I.S.E. Group. Station Square. 412-481-7625. NIED’S HOTEL. Ron & The RumpShakers. Lawrenceville. 412-781-9853. THE R BAR. Shot O’ Soul. Dormont. 412-942-0882.

JAZZ

An Evening of Music

LYNN CULLEN LIVE

APRIL 4

The Rough & Tumble

TALK RADIO

APRIL 12

without all the static

Arsena Schroeder W/ Angela Mignanellie

ONLINE

MONDAY-FRIDAY

THU 27

ANDREW CARNEGIE FREE LIBRARY MUSIC HALL. Joe Negri. Carnegie Borough’s 120th Anniversary Concert. Carnegie. 412-276-7447. ANDYS. Tania Grubbs. Downtown. 412-773-8884. CJ’S. Roger Humphries & The RH Factor. Strip District. 412-642-2377. LITTLE E’S. Jessica Lee & Friends. Entrepreneurial Thursdays. Downtown. 412-392-2217.

Last Sunday of every month! 8 to 11pm

10-11am only on

APRIL 18

www. pghcitypaper.com

Dylan Jane W/ Heidi Jacobs

Joe Cheeta’s High Energy personality, Quick Sense of Humor, Combined with his Ability to get Everyone Involved makes Game Show Junkiessm a Fantastic Time to be had by all!

$2.00 16Yuengling Drafts oz

9:30pm-1:30am

Presented By

sponsored by

FRI 28

abkmusic.com/coh-events

ANDYS. Dane Vannatter. Downtown. 412-773-8884. BACKSTAGE BAR AT THEATRE SQUARE. Jeremy Fisher Trio, Kristan Mancini Fisher. Downtown. 412-325-6769. BAR ANTONIO. Eric Johnson, Dan Wasson. Canonsburg. 724-743-5900. JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. Four-of-a-Kind. North Side. 412-904-3335. LITTLE E’S. The Ken Karsh Trio. Downtown. 412-392-2217. MANCHESTER CRAFTSMEN’S GUILD. Kevin Eubanks. North Side. 412-322-1773. OMNI WILLIAM PENN. Frank Cunimondo & Pat Crossley. Downtown. 412-553-5235. SHALER AREA MIDDLE SCHOOL. Jazz Extravaganza. Feat. student musicians from various school districts & professional jazz musicians from the Pittsburgh area. Glenshaw. 412-486-0211.

thecenterofharmony.com/ events/upcoming/

Buy presale and save $$$

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1314 EAST CARSON ST. ST

253 Mercer St., Harmony, PA 16037

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POOL + PING PONG + DARTS

SAT 29

ANDYS. Trevor McQueen. Downtown. 412-773-8884. CAPRI PIZZA AND BAR. Glen Strother Jazz Jam Session. East Liberty. 412-362-1250. CIOPPINO SEAFOOD CHOPHOUSE BAR. Roger Barbour Jazz Quartet. Strip District. 412-281-6593. CJ’S. The John Hall Band The Tony Campbell Saturday Jazz Jam Session. Strip District. 412-642-2377. JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. The Mark Strickland Quartet. North Side. 412-904-3335. KELLY-STRAYHORN THEATER. Spanky Wilson, Tania Grubbs, Kenia Ashby, BeLove. SUNSTAR: Tribute to Ladies of Jazz. East Liberty. 412-363-3000. LITTLE E’S. Eddie Brookshire Quartet. Downtown. 412-392-2217. CONTINUES ON PG. 32

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S C R E E N

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E V E N T S

C L A S S I F I E D S

CONCERTS, CONTINUED FROM PG. 31

NINE ON NINE. Etta Cox. Downtown. 412-338-6463.

EARLY WARNINGS

SUN 30

JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. Jeff Berman, Erik Lawrence & Friends. North Side. 412-904-3335. OMNI WILLIAM PENN. Frank Cunimondo. Downtown. 412-553-5235. SONOMA GRILLE. Jenny Wilson. Downtown. 412-697-1336.

Icona Pop {PHOTO COURTESY OF FREDERIK ETOALL}

MON 31

JERGEL’S RHYTHM GRILLE. Balcony Big Band. Warrendale. 724-799-8333.

TUE 01

BACKSTAGE BAR AT THEATRE SQUARE. Mark Strickland. Downtown. 412-456-6666. CABARET AT THEATER SQUARE. Gregory Porter. Downtown. 412-325-6769.

{FRI., APRIL 11}

WED 02

Carnegie Mellon University, Oakland

ANDYS. Carolyn Perteete. Downtown. 412-773-8884. ENIGMA ELITE LOUNGE. Paul Thompson, Alton Merrell, James Johnson III. Downtown. 412-818-5604. THUNDERBIRD CAFE. Space Exchange Series. Lawrenceville. 412-682-0177.

ACOUSTIC THU 27

{FRI., APRIL 11-SUN., APRIL 13}

DreamOn Pittsburgh

feat. The Foreign Exchange, more

Market Square, Downtown

{FRI., JUNE 6-SUN., JUNE 15}

Three Rivers Arts Festival feat. Jeff Tweedy, Jake Bugg, more Point State Park, Downtown

Lawrenceville. 412-682-0177.

FRI 28

ANDY WARHOL MUSEUM. Tinariwen. North Side. 412-237-8300.

SAT 29

CARNEGIE LECTURE HALL. Jake Shimabukuro. Oakland. 412-361-1915. LEMONT. Dave Crisci. Mt. Washington. 412-431-3100. OLIVE OR TWIST. The Vagrants. Downtown. 412-255-0525. SEWICKLEY HOTEL. Jay Wiley. Sewickley. 412-741-5804.

SUN 30

CARNEGIE LIBRARY, SQUIRREL HILL. The Squirrel Hillbillies. Squirrel Hill. 412-422-9650.

WED 02

ALLEGHENY ELKS LODGE #339. Pittsburgh Banjo Club. Wednesdays. North Side. 412-321-1834. MOONDOG’S. Open Stage w/ Cherylann Hawk & The Live to Love Band. Blawnox. 412-828-2040. PARK HOUSE. Bluegrass Jam w/ The Shelf Life String Band. North Side. 412-224-2273.

WORLD FRI 28

THUNDERBIRD CAFE. Matuto, Machete Kisumontao.

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 03.26/04.02.2014

feat. Icona Pop, Mac Miller

DOWNEY’S HOUSE. Aaron from The Lava Game. Robinson. 412-489-5631. SILKS LOUNGE AT THE MEADOWS. Joel Lindsey. Washington. BOTTLEBRUSH GALLERY & SHOP. Mother Explosives, Steve Cohagan. Harmony. 724-452-0539. CLUB CAFE. Mary Fahl. South Side. 412-431-4950.

CMU Carnival

TUE 01

WED 02

THUNDERBIRD CAFE. Luisa Maita, Choro No Vinho. Lawrenceville. 412-682-0177.

COUNTRY THU 27

ELWOOD’S PUB. Midnight Rooster. 724-265-1181.

SAT 29

ELWOOD’S PUB. Rob & Slim of The Shiners. 724-265-1181.

WED 02

Palace Theatre, Greensburg. 724-836-8000.

SUN 30

CARNEGIE MELLON WIND ENSEMBLE. Soldiers & Sailors Memorial Hall, Oakland. 412-268-2383. DUQUESNE WIND SYMPHONY & SYMPHONY BAND. Carnegie Music Hall, Oakland. 412-622-3131. INDIANA UNIVERSITY OF PENNSYLVANIA STUDENT ORGAN RECITAL. Heinz Chapel, Oakland. 412-624-4157. PITTSBURGH SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA. BNY Mellon Grand Classics: American Fanfare. Heinz Hall, Downtown. 412-392-4900.

MON 31

LATITUDE 40. Country Night. Live bands and/or DJs. North Fayette. 412-693-5555.

DUQUESNE CLASSIC GUITAR ENSEMBLE. PNC Recital Hall, Duquesne Univ., Uptown. 412-396-6080.

CLASSICAL

OTHER MUSIC

FRI 28

PITTSBURGH SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA. BNY Mellon Grand Classics: American Fanfare. Heinz Hall, Downtown. 412-392-4900.

SAT 29

PITTSBURGH SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA. BNY Mellon Grand Classics: American Fanfare. Heinz Hall, Downtown. 412-392-4900. WESTMORELAND SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA. The Planets.

SAT 29

SILKS LOUNGE AT THE MEADOWS. Cityscape. Washington.

MON 31

HAMBONE’S. Cabaret: Showtunes & Jazz Standards Sing- Along. Lawrenceville. 412-681-4318.

WED 02

THE HANDLE BAR & GRILLE. Dueling Pianos w/ Hermie & Harry. Canonsburg. 724-746-4227.

What to do March

IN PITTSBURGH

26 - April 1

WEDNESDAY 26 The Ocean / Scale the Summit

ALTAR BAR Strip District. 412-263-2877. With special guests Atlas Moth & Silver Snakes. All ages show. Tickets: ticketfly.com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 7:30p.m.

THURSDAY 27

Mindless Self Indulgence STAGE AE North Side. With special guest The Bunny The Bear. All ages show. Tickets: ticketmaster. com or 1-800-745-3000. Doors open at 7p.m.

Rob Delaney REX THEATER South Side.

newbalancepittsburgh.com

Stick to Your Guns

412-381-6811. Limited all ages. Tickets: ticketfly.com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 8:30p.m. & 10:30p.m.

ALTAR BAR Strip District. 412-263-2877. With special guests Terror & more. All ages show. Tickets: ticketfly.com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 7p.m.

Jim Gaffigan: The White Bread Tour

TUESDAY 15

HEINZ HALL Downtown. 412-392-4900. Tickets: pittsburghsymphony.org or 800-743-8560. 7p.m. & 9:30p.m.

Gregory Porter

ROCK OF AGES MONDAY, MARCH 31 THE PALACE THEATRE

Les Misérables

BYHAM THEATER Downtown. 412-456-6666. Tickets: pittsburghmusicals.com. Through April 6.

PAID ADVERTORIAL SPONSORED BY

Dan St Germain

To Kill A King

IMPROV Waterfront. Over 21 show. Tickets: pittsburgh.improv.com or 412-462-5233. Through March 30.

SMILING MOOSE South Side. 412-431-4668. With special guests The Alcohols and Modern Nature. All ages show. Tickets: ticketfly.com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 7p.m.

FRIDAY 28

Comedian Larry Reeb a.k.a. “Uncle Lar” LATITUDE 40 Robinson Twp. 412-693-5555. Tickets: latitude360.com/pittsburghpa. 8pm. Through March 29.

Reverend Peyton’s Big Damn Roots Revolution Tour

SATURDAY 29

com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 7p.m.

THUNDERBIRD CAFE Lawrenceville. 412-6820177. Over 21 show. Tickets: greyareaprod.com. 8p.m.

CONSOL ENERGY CENTER Downtown. Tickets: ticketmaster.com or 1-800-745-3000. 5p.m.

CARNEGIE LIBRARY MUSIC HALL Munhall. 412-368-5225. All ages show. Tickets: carnegieconcerts.com. 7p.m.

PigPen Theatre Co.

MONDAY 31

SUNDAY 30

Rock of Ages

ALTAR BAR Strip District. 412263-2877. With special guests New Kingston & Inna Vision. All ages show. Tickets: ticketfly.

THE PALACE THEATRE Greensburg. 724-836-8000. Tickets: thepalacetheatre.org. 7:30p.m.

Tribal Seeds

REX THEATER South Side. 412-381-6811. Over 21 show. Tickets: greyareaprod.com. 9p.m.

Cher Lloyd

Fruition

Pittsburgh Power vs. San Jose Sabercats

CABARET AT THEATER SQUARE Downtown. 412-456-6666. Tickets: trustarts.org. 8p.m.

MR. SMALLS THEATRE Millvale. 412-821-4447. With special guests The Spring Standard. All ages show. Tickets: 866-468-3401 or ticketweb.com/opusone. 8p.m

DOWNLOAD THE FUN & FREE CP HAPPS APP TO FIND THE MOST POPULAR EVENTS IN PITTSBURGH

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TA S T E

M U S I C

S C R E E N

A R T S

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C L A S S I F I E D S

JUST DO IT {BY HARRY KLOMAN}

THE GERMAN DOCTOR IS A QUIET BUT FRAUGHT FILM, A MELODRAMA INTERTWINED WITH HISTORY

Whatever titillating things you’ve heard about Nymphomaniac, Vol. I, the latest provocation from Lars von Trier, don’t listen. Sure, in a few scenes, you can see that the actors, all of whom are excellent, aren’t faking it (a penetration here, some cunnilingus there). But there’s relatively little sex, and von Trier shows only enough to give us (literally and figuratively) an idea. Then he considers the role sex plays in our emotional and psychological lives. His protagonist (Stacy Martin younger, Charlotte Gainsbourg older) tells her story to Seligman (Stellan Skarsgård), who’s analytical, nonjudgmental and often wise.

JEWISH

FILM FEST

Object of the story: Charlotte Gainsbourg

CP APPROVED

In his first two hours — another two (kinkier, it seems) will follow, in Vol. II — von Trier contemplates morality, sex, love, death, religion, art and more. It’s a smörgåsbord of vignettes that could each become a separate movie, and sans its graphic sex, it’s just a heady (if mannered) drama — equal parts psychology and pathology — and far more Bergmanic than Pasoliniesque. Rare for von Trier, very little of Nymphomaniac is difficult to fathom or tolerate. When artists challenge us like this, we ought to pick up the gauntlet (or, in this case, take it off). To paraphrase Oscar Wilde: “I’ve never heard of something being done that I haven’t considered doing myself.” Discuss. INFO@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

Starts Fri., March 28. Harris

THAT’S TION: SEXPLOIanTkA Henenlotter om Fr A new doc fr ul history of offers a colorf cks, es and skin fli smokers, nudi ck cli a is rn Po 1970. from 1930 to y cultural and an m t bu y, away toda back in were waged legal battles 28, and ch ar M i., Fr m. wood the day. 11 p. ly ol H . 29 March 11 p.m. Sat.,

{BY AL HOFF}

HE 21ST ANNUAL JFilm, formerly

known as the Pittsburgh JewishIsraeli Film Festival, opens its 12-day run on Thu., March 27. The festival offers 17 recent films from Israel and around the world representing Jewish experiences from the comic to the dramatic, as presented through narrative features and documentaries. Films screen at the following venues: Manor, in Squirrel Hill; Carmike 10, at South Hills Village; Seton Hill University, Greensburg; and Rodef Shalom, Oakland. Tickets for most films are $10 for adults and $5 for viewers under 18. For tickets and more information, call 412-992-5203 or visit www.JfilmPgh.org. Below are reviews for four films screening the first week:

BETHLEHEM. Yuval Adler’s thriller tracks the complicated relationship between an Israeli secret-service ofﬁcer and his teenage Palestinian informant. A violent event strains the relationship, and both parties struggle with conflicting allegiances.

Clockwise, from left: Aftermath, Bethlehem, Hunting Elephants and The German Doctor

Viewers, too, will remain unsure of the veracity of the sympathetic characters, but it’s quite likely things will go badly. In Hebrew and Arabic, with subtitles. 5 p.m. Fri., March 28. Manor

HUNTING ELEPHANTS. This Israeli comic caper from Reshef Levy ﬁnds a teenage boy hooking up with his feisty grandfather and his nursing-home cronies in order to rob a bank. There’s a smidgen of heartwarming about family and confronting old age, but it’s mostly laughs, particularly when a long-estranged English relative arrives. “Lord Simpson” (Patrick Stewart) is a struggling actor (fresh from Hamlet: Revenge of the Sith) whose hammy thespian skills prove invaluable to the heist. In English, and Hebrew, with subtitles. 7 p.m. Sat., March 29, and 4:45 p.m. Tue., April 1. Manor THE GERMAN DOCTOR. In 1960, an Argentine family befriends a German doctor, who winds up staying at its Patagonia hotel. The doctor is particularly atten-

tive to young Lilith, lively but undersized, and Lilith’s mother, who is pregnant with twins. Meanwhile, an Israeli operative is working in a nearby German expatriate community, seeking to uncover former Nazis, including the infamous Dr. Mengele. A quiet but fraught ﬁlm from Lucia Puenzo, a melodrama intertwined with history, a coming-of-age story with gorgeous mountain scenery. In Spanish and German, with subtitles. 9 p.m. Sat., March 29, and 5:15 p.m. Wed., April 2. Manor

AFTERMATH. Franek returns to his small Polish village after 20 years in Chicago, and ﬁnds his brother feuding with the townsfolk. The problem, as revealed slowly in Wladyslaw Pasikowski’s tense psychological thriller, isn’t the present, but the past — speciﬁcally what may or may not have happened during the Nazi occupation decades ago. A provocative exploration of the corrosive power of prejudice, but also of the will to rise above it. In Polish, with subtitles. 7 p.m. Tue., April 1, and 5 p.m. Fri., April 4. Manor A H OF F @ P G HC I T Y PA P E R. C OM

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 03.26/04.02.2014

l a r s v o n t r i e r EASY AND SO VERY TEMPTING “IT’S to dismiss Lars Von Trier as a joke - if only his movies

FILM CAPSULES CP

= CITY PAPER APPROVED

weren’t so bloody brilliant.” – Ty Burr, BOSTON GLOBE

“A THRILLING, UPROARIOUS VISUAL AND INTELLECTUAL JOURNEY.”

NEW

BAD WORDS. Misanthropic 40-year-old Guy (Jason Bateman) finds a loophole in a kids’ spelling bee, and wins a place in the national finals as the Ohio champ. He’s accompanied by his “media sponsor,” Jenny (Kathryn Hahn) from Click and Scroll website, and is determined to mow down every kid in his path — by any means necessary. Even his tenuous friendship with young contestant Chaitanya (Rohan Chand) is simply a chance to ruin the child’s chances. There’s an overarching mystery of exactly why Guy wants to make a complete ass of himself in order to win a spelling bee, but mostly this film exists to deliver a lot of dark comedy (awkward sex, profane rants, kids being picked on). In that respect, Bad Words, penned by Andrew Dodge and directed by Bateman, owes a debt to Terry Zwigoff’s Bad Santa — it’s got almost the exact characters and set-up, though Santa is ultimately bleaker. After wallowing in Guy’s awfulness, we get an explanation and even some emotional closure. But until then, there are laughs for those who like their comedy on the caustic and intentionally offensive side. Starts Fri., March 28. (Al Hoff)

–Andrew O’Hehir, SALON

“FORMIDABLE. A PROVOCATION WORTH TALKING ABOUT.” – David Denby, THE NEW YORKER

“A JOYOUS WORK OF FLAT-OUT GENIUS.” –John H. Richardson, ESQUIRE

“A TANTALIZING MEMOIR.” –Richard Corliss, TIME

forget ab out love

VO L . I

Bad Words positive for multiple factions, which makes her a “divergent,” a state of being that is a threat to the severely ordered society. But she wisely keeps mum, and joins Dauntless, ensuring that most of this film follows her training from nice girl to bad-ass warrior. Her trainer is a smoldering hunk known as Four (Theo James), who might also be harboring secrets. It’s entertaining, if a little simplistic, with few surprises along the way. Mostly, this outing feels like a preamble, in which the broader stakes are downplayed until we simply get through training. (Will Tris even graduate?!) Also left dangling: the case for being different (the faction-less are presented as either closeted divergents, or homeless) — or why, beyond disrupting basic tidiness, being a multi-traited person is such a huge crime. The Curious can stay tuned. (AH)

Pittsburgh Filmmakers STARTS FRIDAY, MARCH 28 PITTSBURGH Harris Theatre (412) 682-4111 MAGPICTURES .COM/NYMPHOMANIAC

“A RAMBUNCTIOUS CAPER

BURSTING AT THE SEAMS WITH QUICK WIT, FAMOUS FACES, AND WES ANDERSON’S PATENTED AESTHETIC DELIGHTS.” ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY

RALPH FIENNES F. MURRAY ABRAHAM MATHIEU AMALRIC ADRIEN BRODY WILLEM DAFOE JEFF GOLDBLUM HARVEY KEITEL JUDE LAW BILL MURRAY EDWARD NORTON SAOIRSE RONAN JASON SCHWARTZMAN LÉA SEYDOUX TILDA SWINTON TOM WILKINSON OWEN WILSON introducing TONY REVOLORI

NOAH. The Old Testament story about the man, a big boat, two of every animal and a massive flood gets the big-screen treatment from Darren Aronofsky. Russell Crowe stars as N oah. Starts Fri., March 28. SABOTAGE. David Ayer directs this actioner in which an elite team of DEA agents square off against a violent drug cartel. Arnold Schwarzenegger heads an ensemble cast. Starts Fri., March 28.

REPERTORY

TIP TOP. This new screwball comedy from Serge Bozon, and starring Isabelle Huppert, uses the tropes of a mismatched-cops police investigation into the death of an Algerian informant to comment on post-colonial France. In French and Arabic, with subtitles. 7 p.m. Wed., March 26. Oaks A LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN . Geena Davis, Rosie O’Donnell and Tom Hanks star in this affectionate 1992 comedy about women’s baseball teams of the 1940s. Penny Marshall directs. 7:30 p.m. Wed., March 26. AMC Loews. $5

Divergent DIVERGENT. N eil Burger directs this scifi actioner, adapted from Veronica Roth’s young-adult novel, about a dystopian world of the future where people are divided into factions based on virtues. At least, that’s how things are in what used to be Chicago. When teens come of age, they’re tested for one of five virtues — Amity, Candor, Erudite, Abnegation and Dauntless — and then leave their family to join one of the groups (“faction before blood”). Young Tris (Shailene Woodley) tests

UN CHIEN AN DALOU and L’AGE D’OR. Don’t miss this double-feature of avant-garde cinematic collaborations between Luis Buñuel and Salvador Dali, ground-breaking surrealist films that influence filmmakers to this day. “Un Chien Andalou” (1929, 16 min.) features unsettling images including ants crawling out of a hand, and one infamous eyeball. Their second collaboration, “L’Age d’Or” (1930, 60 min.), intercuts the travails of frustrated lovers with blasphemous images of the Catholic Church, scorpions and dogs. 8 p.m. Wed., March 26. Melwood. $2 REALITY. A fishmonger opts to go on a Big Brother-type reality-TV show in this 2011 comedy from Matteo Garrone. The film opens a threeCONTINUES ON PG. 36

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PITTSBURGH The Manor Theatre (412) 422-7729 PITTSBURGH PITTSBURGH PITTSBURGH Cinemark Robinson Township SouthSide Works Cinema Waterworks Cinemas (800) FANDANGO #2153 (412) 381-7335 (412) 784-1402

NOW PLAYING

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FILM CAPSULES, CONTINUED FROM PG. 35

week Italian Film Festival. In Italian, with subtitles. 7 p.m. Thu., March 27. Frick Fine Arts, Pitt campus, Oakland. Free. www.italianfilmfests.org CMU INTERNATIONAL FILM FESTIVAL: FACES OF WORK. Recent films screening this week include: Eat Sleep Die, about a a young Muslim immigrant worker from Eastern Europe working in Sweden (7:30 p.m. Wed., March 26); Sofia’s Last Ambulance, a vérité-style doc about the stretched-thin and poorly funded ambulance service in the Bulgarian capital, as seen through the eyes of three workers (7:15 p.m. Thu., March 27); GrisGris, a drama from Chad about a dancer forced to seek extra money through the illegal trafficking of gasoline (6 p.m. Sat., March 29); Madame Presidenta: Why Not U.S.? Vamos Menimas!, a locally produced profile of Brazilian president Dilma Rousseff, and the broader issue of women leaders (7 p.m. Wed., April 2); Women’s Day, a Polish feature about the struggles women face in low-paying retail jobs (5 p.m. Thu., April 3); and Trapped, an Iranian drama about the lives of two young female roommates in contemporary Iran, (7 p.m. Thu., April 3). All screenings at McConomy Auditorium, CMU campus, Oakland. For more info, see www.cmu.edu/faces. SWIN G LOWE SWEET CHARIOTE. A young African-American woman struggles to maintain her family amid the troubles of her poor urban neighborhood. David C. Snyder’s new drama was filmed in Cleveland. 7:30 p.m. Thu., March 27. Hollywood. $5 BEST OF SYNC’D. A music-and-film event in which local short silent films are screened while an original score plays live. This program features films with recorded soundtracks from the last five Sync’d events, plus live music from Gangwish. 8 p.m. Thu., March 27. Melwood. $5

$7, $5 for 65 & over or 12 & under with valid school ID. For tickets: showclix.com/event/piccadilly

H O L LY W O O D T H E AT E R 1 4 4 9 P o t o m a c Av e n u e , D o r m o n t 412.563.0368

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 03.26/04.02.2014

THE GODFATHER. Catch one of the most enduring and influential American films of the late 20th century on the big screen, where Francis Ford Coppola’s multi-generational 1972 mafia family drama and perversion of the American Dream writ large belongs. 7 p.m. Fri., March 28; 3 and 7 p.m. Sat., March 29; and 7 p.m. Sun., March 30. Hollywood OPEN CITY OF AMEREIDA. Chilean-born, Pittsburgh-based filmmaker Andres Tapia-Urzua’s new 51-minute documentary explores a radical experiment in architectural education founded on a remote patch of coastal Chile in 1970. Students and faculty from the Catholic University of Valparaiso’s architecture school created the communal, nonhierachical society with no less a goal than refounding the Americas along noncolonial lines. As one interview subject puts it, “The place doesn’t belong to you; you belong to the land.” The idea involves blending art with the architectural landscape: “architecture being co-created with the poetic world.” Tapia-Urzua interviews now-graying founders of Amereida as well as relative newcomers; footage vintage and contemporary captures wild, Gaudiesque houses and striking, site-specific artworks amid the sand dunes. The sense of play — ritualistic performance art; people-powered geodesic contraptions traversing the beach — sometimes suggest a Burning Man festival that never ends. Tapia-Urzua employs some gorgeous animation sequences to illuminate interviewees’ occasionally vaporous-sounding pronouncements. Early on, says one citizen, Amereida was all about free forms in architecture; now environmental sustainability is considered, too. What remains unclear is any benefit to nonparticipants — which is most of the world. But perhaps simply proposing a different way of looking at life and society, and then making it real (if rarefied) is a start. The film screens

Open City of Amereida as part of the Carnegie Mellon International Film Festival. 9 p.m. Fri., March 28. Melwood. www.cmu. edu/faces (Bill O’Driscoll)

but sentimental conclusion. Concludes a month-long series of classic films that won an Oscar. 8 p.m. Sun., March 30. Regent Square (AH)

FIRST SN OWFALL. In Andrea Segre’s new drama, a fatherless boy and a recently widowed immigrant prepare for winter. Screens as part of a three-week Italian Film Festival. In Italian, with subtitles. 7 p.m. Sat., March 29. Frick Fine Arts, Pitt campus, Oakland. Free. www.italianfilmfests.org

CINEASTES. In this new documentary from Julie Gayet, 20 French women filmmakers (including Agnès Varda, Valeria Bruni Tedeschi, Rebecca Zlotowski, Valérie Donzelli, Céline Sciamma, Julie Delpy and Mia Hansen Love) discuss their profession, particularly in reference to their gender. Do women make different films from men? In French, with subtitles. 7 p.m. Wed., April 2. Oaks

BLACK MARIA FILM FESTIVAL TOURIN G PROGRAM. This touring festival, now in its 33rd year, offers a selection of cutting-edge shorts: animation, documentary, narrative and experimental. Black Maria founder John Columbus will introduce this year’s crop of award-winners. 7:30 p.m. Sat., March 29. Melwood BASEBALL FILMS AT PARKWAY. Celebrate the opening day of baseball with four films about America’s national pastime: The Sandlot (11:30 a.m.), Major League (1:15 p.m.), Bull Durham (3:15 p.m.) and The Fan (5:15 p.m.). Ballpark food (hot dogs, peanuts, popcorn and beer) will be sold by vendors walking the aisles. Sun., March 30. Parkway Theater, 644 Broadway Ave., McKees Rocks. 412-766-1668. Films are $3 each. HOT WATER. Harold Lloyd stars in this 1924 silent comedy that finds the man of the house beset by wacky problems (winning a live turkey, a wild car ride and a sleepwalking mother-in-law). Fred Newmeyer and Sam Taylor direct. To be accompanied by live musical accompaniment on organ and piano. 2 p.m. Sun., March 30. Hollywood. $7-10. UN DER THE RAIN BOW. Agnès Jaoui directs, and stars in, this new romantic comedy about a young woman who believes she made have found her Prince Charming. In French, with subtitles. 7 p.m. Sun., March 30. Oaks THE SHAWSHAN K REDEMPTION . In 1994, Frank Darabont adapted Stephen King’s novella about a group of prisoners at Maine’s Shawshank State Prison. It fared poorly in theaters, but the inspirational drama of men who struggle to preserve their hopes and dignity found new life on video. Shawshank trades in plenty of prison clichés, but the film wins us over with its careful presentation of the day-to-day, stretched over 20 years and supported by top-notch performances from Tim Robbins and Morgan Freeman as inmates and pals. As such, we willingly surrender to the wildly improbable

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E.T. THE EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL. See this muchloved, feel-good alien story about the greenishbrown space traveler who befriends some suburban kids on the big screen. Steven Spielberg directs this 1982 film starring Henry Thomas, Drew Barrymore and a wrinkly, long-fingered dude from space. 7:30 p.m. Thu., April 3. Hollywood AN DY WARHOL FILMS. Selections from Warhol’s Factory Diaries series (1971-75) and other shorts screen. Ongoing. Free with museum admission. Andy Warhol Museum, North Side. www.warhol.org

Swing Lowe, Sweet Chariote (2014) - 3/27 @ 7:30

A gut-wrenching urban action/drama that contrasts the brutal realities of inner city street life with the struggles of maintaining a a family, all from the perspective of a young, black woman.

The Godfather (1972)

3/28 @ 7pm, 3/29 @ 3&7pm, 3/30 @ 7pm

That’s Sexploitation!

(2013) - 3/28 @ 11pm, 3/29 @ 11pm A visual history of over 40 years of sex in the cinema (1930-1970)!

Hot Water

(1924) - 3/30 @ 2pm - Part of our Silents, Please! series, with music by Dale Abraham and Tom Roberts!

1449 Potomac Avenue, Dormont 412.563.0368 www.thehollywooddormont.org

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[ART REVIEW]

“I’M LIKE JERRY LEWIS.”

HONOR-ABLE Jennifer Myers’ exhibit Women in Time might look, at a glance, like a group show, but the connections between the parts are strong and all serve a common purpose: to honor women. Where Judy Chicago’s 1979 masterwork “The Dinner Party” celebrated specific women and their accomplishments, Myers’ recent work here emphasizes the spirit of Everywoman. The exhibit is anchored by the display of trophies and memorials to women past and present that Myers has created. A long, low pedestal features “The Never-Ending Book of Women’s Rights,” a sequence of “pages” made of colored pencil on slate, “an ongoing record of the women of this world.” Adjacent is a stack of blank slates on which Myers will create tributes to women whom gallery visitors have noted in the guestbook as someone they know, love or remember. Another major component of the exhibit is a series of assemblages constructed on discarded trophies, with each refurbished trophy meant as a tribute to each and every woman. “First-Place-Woman: Carrying Boulder” (2013-14) features a mixed-media tchotchke of stone and beads set on a small plinth. Unexpectedly, it’s presented not as a sculpture but rather as a color photograph of the assemblage set against a bold color background, which adds festiveness. Other photographs in the series, with subtitles such as “Telling Stories” or “Dreaming,” incorporate modest materials such as sticks and wire, along with suggestions of animal or human figures. All women are seen as deserving awardees. Yet there is a special place here for exceptional and accomplished women. “The Lucy Lippard Reading Chair and Simple Reader,” and a similar tribute to Nancy Spero, are each accompanied by an artist’s book created by Myers, consisting of a photographic portrait, key quotes and brief biography. These chair/reader units make the point that the exceptional can inspire us while prompting us to value that which is not recognized as exceptional. This exhibit has a feel of immediacy, more like outsider art than academic finesse. Myers is art-educated and clearly aware of her forebears, many of whom, like her, eschewed technical mastery to speak more directly from the heart. This is 21st-century feminism — not toned-down post-feminism — the work of which is far from done. INFO@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

JENNIFER MYERS: WOMEN IN TIME continues through April 20. Pittsburgh Center for the Arts, 6300 Fifth Ave., Shadyside. 412-361-0873 or www. pittsburgharts.org

Jennifer Myers’ “Woman Transfigured in Earthly Gems” {PHOTO COURTESY OF THE ARTIST}

{BY ROBERT RACZKA}

[BOOKS]

BIGGER IN FRANCE

{BY BILL O’DRISCOLL}

TRANGE AS IT might seem, in a country where superhero yarns and graphic novels become hit movies — and Dilbert and Garﬁeld are merchandising empires — comics in the U.S. are not widely respected as art, let alone literature. That’s certainly the experience of Frank Santoro. The veteran Pittsburghbased artist recently returned from the Angoulême International Comics Festival. Annually, the fest draws some 200,000 visitors over four days to a small town in France. (The largest such fest in the U.S., Comic Con International: San Diego, draws about 130,000.) I n Fe brua ry, Sant or o at t en ded Angoulême courtesy of publisher Çà et là, which issued the French edition of his latest book, Pompeii. Although the U.S. has ﬁve times the population of France, industry

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 03.26/04.02.2014

Pompeii and circumstance: Frank Santoro does 79 A.D.

ﬁgures indicate that comics sales are much larger there; indeed, Santoro says sales of Pompeii in his home country are equalled overseas, largely in France. American comics journalist Brigid Alverson recently called France “a place where comics really mattered. Comics aren’t a niche product in

“I’VE HAD MORE OF AN EMOTIONAL RESPONSE TO THIS BOOK THAN ANYTHING I’VE EVER DONE.” France; they are available everywhere, they are widely read, and they are taken seriously.” Hard-cover, full-color editions of comics are sold in bookstores, train stations and grocery stores. In the U.S., Santoro has a cult following

for his 1995 graphic novel Storeyville (reissued in 2007). Last fall, promoting Pompeii — a moving ﬁctional take on the 79 A.D. volcanic eruption — he did the U.S. festival circuit, and a short West Coast book tour he arranged and paid for himself. And in December, Santoro’s American publisher, PictureBox, announced it had ceased publishing new titles. Çà et là, by contrast, seems to be going strong. France’s largest publisher of nonFrench alternative comics ﬂew Santoro over for the 41st annual Angoulême Fest, all expenses paid. The Çà et là booth featured 10 authors, including Santoro and Derf Backderf, author of Dahmer and Me (about his youthful friendship with Jeffrey Dahmer). Post-festival, says Santoro, the authors accompanied publisher Serge Ewendzyk by train to Paris — where each did his own signing at a different

BRICOL AGE URBAN SCRAWL

ANNUAL FUNDRAISER 6 NEW SHORT PLAYS CREATED IN JUST 24 HOURS TICKETS START AT JUST $40 bookstore on the same night. “The money’s better from the French publishers,” says Santoro. He also enjoyed reconnecting with fans he’d met at his ﬁrst Angoulême, four years ago — and the fact that French fans consider him an author. “I’m like Jerry Lewis,” he quips. “I can be better known in France than I am at home.”

sical composition. Within that structure, he improvised, redrafting only when necessary. These are drawings reduced to the essential lines. “I want you to read it fast,” he says. Storeyville was championed by supporters including comics icon Chris Ware. Pompeii has been likewise acclaimed. In the LA Review of Books, Adam McGovern called Santoro “a poet of the POMPEII WAS inspired partly by the Sept. 11, passing glimpse and the pivotal instant” 2001, terror attacks (Santoro then and “a consummate storyteller.” Pompeii lived in New York City), and partly was even reviewed in Le Monde: “[T] by his years as an assistant to famed he author could not have taken a better approach to evoke the painter Francesco Clemevanescence of a world ente. The book follows on the brink of annihilaMarcus, the young astion, or how a whimsical sistant to a wealthy romance in 79 A.D., folPompeian painter, who lowing the sentimental in the days before the troubles of two Pomeruption is torn bepeian couples, brutally tween advancing his transforms into pure career and returning tragedy with the eruphome to the provinces tion of Mount Vesuvius.” with his girlfriend. Santoro, who lives in What’s immediately Swissvale, is also a noted notable about Pompeii authority on the art of is the drawing style. As comics. He writes “Riff in Storeyville (an earlyRaff,” a weekly Comics 20th-century hobo epic, Journal column. And he’s set partly in Pittsburgh), four years into running Santoro’s images suggest the Santoro Corresponsketches, hastily scrawled dence Course for Comic and minimally shaded in Book Makers, an online earth tones. In fact, they Frank Santoro certificate program for are meticulously planned. “It’s safe to say he puts more thought into students around the world. And he’s feeling good about Pompeii. the overall structure and design of his “I’ve had more of an emotional response pages than a lot of his contemporaries,” wrote Chris Mautner, prefacing a 2013 to this book than anything I’ve ever done,” says Santoro. “I’ve had people come up to interview in the online Comics Journal. Santoro, 41, is that rare comics artist me and say they wept openly at the end who draws in pencil and doesn’t always ink of the story. … I felt really good about that. it over. He composed Pompeii as a series of Melodrama is really hard to pull off without two-page spreads, following rules of clas- feeling corny.” D RI SCO L L @PGH C IT YPAPE R . C O M

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APRIL.4-5.2014 DON’T MISS THE BUS!

TICKETS ARE LIMITED! WWW. B R I C O L A G E P G H .ORG

Murph Dogg • ‘Tech no mans land’ • 2014 Image on paper

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“GRIPPING!”

—THE NEW YORK TIMES

“A SEARING PIECE OF WRITING” —THE GUARDIAN

Organic artifice: Haylee Ebersole’s Porous Sediments (detail)

A HIGH-INTENSITY DRAMA

[ART REVIEW]

GELATINOUS {BY LISSA BRENNAN}

THERE IS A complexly provocative element

in Porous Sediments, Haylee Ebersole’s installation at 707 Penn Gallery. This isn’t just the aesthetic appearance of the works, although the pieces that squat and perch within the space are certainly laden with their own elusive allure. For while her creations are visually stunning, the nature of the material used to form them can boggle the mind as well. Ebersole, an internationally exhibiting artist based in Pittsburgh, fashions her works primarily with gelatin. Gelatin is an organic substance, rendered of collagen produced from skin, bone and tissue, predominantly byproducts gathered from pigs, cows and horses. Derived from once-living materials, in Ebersole’s hands this now-insensible material is transformed, permeated with artiﬁcial color and molded into dynamic shapes — shapes that elicit thoughts of organic, living, natural material. These sculptural forms, though man-made objects, further mimic life by perpetually changing as a result of age and response to their environment. And they do so in physical forms that, while appearing to remain still, bestow a sense of the animate temporarily caught and frozen mid-motion. A line-up of geometric vessels rests alongside one gallery wall, all similar in ﬁgure, displaying a range of juicy, translucent pastel hues.

They suggest a swarm of jellyﬁsh ﬂoating in still waters — seemingly fragile, outwardly insentient, but crackling with activity and impulse deeper than our vision can measure. Shapes cling to the walls, barnacle-like. Solid, muscle-like globules cleave to the surface, their grasps stubborn and secure. More ethereal membranes caught in the midst of slowly being peeled away cling determinedly with the slightest of connections. Smaller formations crouch on small pedestals like geodes, or like seashells whose imagined occupants watch the watchers while safely hidden within. The effect is that of stumbling upon a beach at low tide and discovering a universe of organisms standing in wait until the water rushes back in — or biding their time until the viewer moves on and they can again be set in motion.

THE EFFECT IS THAT OF STUMBLING UPON A BEACH AT LOW TIDE AND DISCOVERING A UNIVERSE OF ORGANISMS.

BUY YOUR TICKETS TODAY!

412.431.CITY (2489) / CityTheatreCompany.org

POROUS SEDIMENTS

continues through April 13. 707 Penn Gallery, 707 Penn Ave., Downtown. www.trustarts.org

And they are indeed in motion: These manufactured organisms are reforming themselves slowly and surely, mutated by the touch of the air, the temperature of their environment and the mere presence of other life. From our perspective, this installation might not seem interactive, but from the other side it’s undeniably so. I N F O@ P G HC I T Y PA P E R. C OM

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 03.26/04.02.2014

The Pittsburgh Cultural Trust presents

TRUST

Cabaret Liz Callaway Monday, April 7 • 7:30pm Cabaret at Theater Square TrustArts.org/CabaretSeries

ACCESSIBLE

SERVICES AVAILABLE

412-456-6666 • Groups 10+ Tickets: 412-471-6930

are we so different?

OPENING DAY! SATURDAY, MARCH 29 11 a.m.–noon Curators‘ Talk Join us as Lynne Hayes-Freeland and Nikkia Hall share their experiences documenting local community members discussing race and racism. Free with museum admission. RACE exhibition on view 10 a.m.–5 p.m.

see the exhibition. you’ll never see race the same way again.

A project of American Anthropological Association.

Presented by

carnegiemnh.org | 412.622.3131

One of the four Carnegie Museums of Pittsburgh

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talk (and bitch and moan and laugh until your cheeks hurt) radio* *on your computer!

LYNN CULLEN LIVE

TALK RADIO without all the static

ONLINE MONDAY-FRIDAY 10-11am

only on www.pghcitypaper.com

[PLAY REVIEWS]

CASTING CALLS {BY TED HOOVER}

PLAYWRIGHT LYNN Nottage burst onto

the theater scene in 2003 with Intimate Apparel and won a Pulitzer in 2008, for Ruined. Her latest play, By the Way, Meet Vera Stark, premieres locally at The REP. It’s 1933 in Hollywood, and Vera is a former vaudeville performer on the “colored” circuit. She came west to try her luck in pictures, but ended up a maid to Hollywood star Gloria Mitchell. One night, Mitchell throws a party for the producer and director of The Belle of New Orleans, a Civil War epic featuring a role that Vera, in the room serving the drinks, wants to play. Also there as “hired help” is Vera’s roommate Lottie, who’s hoping for a role as well. With enormous energy and an outrageous sensibility, Nottage sets all these characters up against each other in a ﬁrst act that is certainly one of the funniest I’ve ever seen on stage. Director Tomé Cousin does a great job ratcheting up the insanity to the breaking point. Maria Becoates-Bey, as Vera, is the calm, determined center continually reminding us what’s at stake. Lottie is the scene-stealing comic relief, and Bria Walker is side-splittingly funny in the role.

BY THE WAY, MEET VERA STARK continues through Sun., April 6. Pittsburgh Playhouse, 222 Craft Ave., Oakland. $24-27. 412-392-8000 or www.pittsburghplayhouse.com

WITH SPECIAL GUESTS

former Andy Warhol Museum director Tom Sokolowski, every Thursday and Pittsburgh City Paper editor Chris Potter, every Friday

But the bill for all these shenanigans is presented in Act II. Vera ends up with a four-decade show-biz career which is inextricably linked to the changes happening for African Americans in the 20th century. It’s a subject about which Nottage cares deeply, and she’s written a lecture about it. She tries hard to hide that it’s a lecture, and is ingenious in the attempt. The second act takes place in 2003, at an academic conference where a bunch of talking heads on stage left watch and comment on a recently discovered clip of Vera’s ﬁnal TV appearance, in 1973, acted out on stage right. The talking heads are quirky, the ’70s fashions are funny and this cast goes at it full-tilt, but you are constantly aware that

{PHOTO COURTESY OF JEFF SWENSEN}

Maria Becoates-Bey in The REP’s By the Way, Meet Vera Stark

Nottage the dramatist has given way to Nottage the thinker and theorist. From the dizzying heights of the ﬁrst act, Vera Stark lands with a dull thud in the second … but oh, that ﬁrst act. INF O @PGH C IT YPAPE R . C O M

HALLS OF OZ {BY COLETTE NEWBY}

DOROTHY IN OZ, at Rage of the Stage

Players, revives the troupe’s first show, written and directed by James Michael Shoberg. One can see why it’s back — any play whose first line is “Shut the fuck up, Toto!” will appeal to the 12-year-old in everyone. That is all you need to decide whether the show will be funny to you. In familiar Rage of the Stage fashion, the play takes a children’s story, in this case the MGM adaptation of The Wizard of Oz, and gives it a 2003-mallgoth reimagining. Dorothy, played by the expertly sarcastic Adrienne Fischer, is afflicted with bipolar disorder, given an untested medication, and hallucinates a strange hospital where she seeks Doctor Oz, the administrator, to request release. She is, of course, joined by three friends, including Skarekrow, a heroin addict with Dick Van Dyke’s Cockney accent, and Rusty

ANY PLAY WHOSE FIRST LINE IS “SHUT THE FUCK UP, TOTO!” WILL APPEAL TO THE 12-YEAR-OLD IN EVERYONE.

Tinneman, who has anger problems. Joseph A. Roots plays Dorothy’s third friend, Mr. Lyons, an impotent sex addict who wishes to recover his “courage,” a euphemism for virility which no human being has ever used. Roots neuters (ha ha) a little of the inherent horror of his character by aping a cartoon — he tip-toes with his arms raised high, he howls and a-woogas, and does everything short of having his eyes pop out of his head when he sees anything with hips. The strongest performer was Jen James as Dr. Green, who at ﬁrst plays a very funny unethical doctor (a phrase which I have never typed before). Her scene is incontestably the highlight of the show. Later, as the hallucinated Wicked Witch, she has to act like a cartoon Nazi, which was almost a disappointment after her initial appearance.

DOROTHY IN OZ

continues through Sat., March 29. Rage of the Stage at Off the Wall Theater, 25 W. Main St., Carnegie. $15. 724-292-8427 or www.rageofthestage.com

A word of warning: This play contains one of the more demeaning portrayals of transgender people I’ve seen in a while — and if you spend much time at the theater, you understand the gravity of that statement. In the show’s marketing, hormone-replacement therapy is classiﬁed as a “deranged experiment.” My night’s audience found it funny, but you might want to brace yourself. I N F O@ P G H C I T Y PA P E R. C OM

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 03.26/04.02.2014

[BOOK]

OPENS SATURDAY! ONE OF THE WORLD’S MOST BELOVED OPERAS – and the inspiration for the Broadway smash hit RENT

FLOOD WORK After ripening for 25 years, Kathleen George’s story about the Johnstown flood is ready for picking. The Johnstown Girls (University of Pittsburgh Press) is the acclaimed mystery writer’s first period novel. Set in 1989, it follows two Pittsburgh Post-Gazette writers — Johnstown native Nina Collins and Ben Bragdon — as they report on 1889’s Johnstown flood on its 100th anniversary. They meet 103-year-old Ellen Emerson, a Johnstown resident whom the flood separated from her twin sister. Ellen believes her sister is still alive, and Nina tries to find her. George grew up in Johnstown and became interested in the flood during that centennial, but “was too new to writing to come up with a really big novel that covered many years and big events.” The Johnstown Flood ranks among the worst natural disasters in U.S. history. Heavy rains and a faulty dam, owned by elite figures such as Andrew Carnegie and Henry Clay Frick, led to the deaths of 2,209 people. Two more big floods would occur there, in 1936 and 1977. George’s mother lived through both, and threads of her experience are woven into the story. Nina’s memory of trying to reach her mother during the ’77 flood are based on the author’s own experiences: She no longer lived in Johnstown, and when word of the flood reached George and her sisters, they frantically tried to contact their mother for a day-and-a-half. No luck. The phone lines were dead. No one was allowed into Johnstown, but when George’s old high school boyfriend called, saying he’d forced his way through, the sisters followed. “We drove over trees and over rubble,” she says. “We talked the National Guard into letting us in. We found my mother, and she was fine … [but] there were tractors hanging on top of trees. You forget what water can do, and I think that that [experience] was small, compared to the 1889 flood.” George, known for her Pittsburgh-set Richard Christie detective novels like A Measure of Blood, had to adjust to writing a different kind of fiction. “I do have a bit of a mystery in this one, but the pace is different,” she says. “It doesn’t operate on threat or fear. It’s a much longer puzzle to work out. It has a different rhythm.”

Puccini’s ini’s

Campaign by Creme Fraiche Design. Original photo: David Bachman

Kathleen George {PHOTO COURTESY OF HILARY MASTERS}

{BY ANGELA SUICO}

MAR 29; APR 1, 4, 6 Benedum Center Tickets $12 and up 412-456-6666 pittsburghopera.org

75th anniversary season: Opera for a new age

INFO@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

THE JOHNSTOWN GIRLS LAUNCH PARTY. 7:30 p.m. Wed., April 2. Twentieth Century Club, 4201 Bigelow Blvd., Oakland. Free (dinner party: $35). Reserve at 412-828-4877. N E W S

UNDERSTAND EVERY WORD! English texts projected above the stage.

TA S T E

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FOR THE WEEK OF

03.2704.03.14

{PHOTO COURTESY OF JOHN ALTDORFER}

FOR INFORMATION ON HOW TO SUBMIT LISTINGS AND PRESS RELEASES, CALL 412.316.3342 X161.

MARCH 29 Sunstar

+ THU., MARCH 27 {SCREEN}

Sync’d is a unique cinematic venture pairing silent shorts by local filmmakers with original soundtracks performed live. If you haven’t been, tonight’s a good time to catch up: The Best of Sync’d features 10 films drawn from the last five shows. Shorts by the likes of Tess Allard, Jessica Fenlon, Michael Maraden and Jim Mueller are screened to recorded-live soundtracks by artists like Lungs Face Feet, Ben Opie and Josh Wulff, and Dire Wolves. Gangwish will perform live at the Melwood Screening Room event. Bill O’Driscoll 8 p.m. 477 Melwood Ave., Oakland. $5. 412-681-5449 or www.pittsburgharts.org

Continues through Sun., March 30. 166 E Bridge St., The Waterfront, Homestead. $17. 412-462-5233 or www. pittsburgh.improv.com

{WORDS}

“My weight is a darting mosquito buzzing at my ear, impossible to ignore,” Jennifer Jackson Berry writes

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 03.26/04.02.2014

+ FRI., MARCH 28 {CIRCUS}

In 2005, Varekai became the second Cirque du Soleil production to play Pittsburgh. Now the famed troupe’s production is back, adapted from its original big-top format for arenas like the Petersen Events Center. It’s still the story of an Icarus-like fellow who falls to earth in a jungle and proceeds on a journey of rebirth, accompanied by magical forest creatures. And many acts will be familiar, from daring aerialists to a dance on crutches. But Cirque always rotates in new performers and acts from around the world, like this production’s American solo trapeze act. The first of six performances is tonight. BO 7:30 p.m. Continues through Sun., March 30. $32-100. 800-745-3000 or www. cirquedusoleil.com/varekai

+ SAT., MARCH 29

{COMEDY}

On Late Night With Jimmy Fallon, Dan St. Germain told of a couple he knew who decided to make hats out of tinfoil after watching Apollo 13. “You don’t dress like characters from a depressing movie,” he insisted. “I don’t go, ‘Hey guys, you gotta come to my place this Friday — movie party! But remember to bring your bellhop costumes, ’cause we’re watching Hotel Rwanda.’” Tonight, St. Germain performs the first of six shows at Pittsburgh Improv. Angela Suico 8 p.m.

in her poem “Fat Girl on the Beach.” Berry, a contributor to California-based literary journal Lummox, shares her verses tonight with three other local Lummox writers at East End Book Exchange, Ann Curran, Judith Robinson and Don Wentworth. The show also honors their fellow contributor, the late Pittsburgh writer Michael Adams, with a reading of his work. AS 7 p.m. 4754 Liberty Ave., Bloomfield. Free. 412-224-2847 or www.lummoxpress.com

{OPERA}

MARCH 27 Dan St. Germain

{PHOTO COURTESY OF MINDY TUCKER}

Pittsburgh Opera stages La Bohème starting tonight at the Benedum Center. Set in 1830s Paris, Puccini’s famous opera follows a group of artists struggling with relationships, illness and poverty. Soprano Leah Crocetto stars as Mimí, with David Lomelí and Eric Barry alternating as Rodolfo. Music director Antony Walker conducts. La Bohème inspired both Baz Luhrman’s Tonywinning production of the same name and Rent. AS

sp otlight {IMAGE COURTESY OF THE CARNEGIE MUSEUM OF NATURAL HISTORY}

RACE: Are We So Different?, a traveling exhibit hosted by Carnegie Museum of Natural History, aims to illuminate our discussion of race by viewing it through three different lenses — science, history and everyday experience. This collaboration between the American Anthropological Association and the Minnesota Science Museum opens here March 29 with a local component: the Community Voices Gallery. Photos and videos of people discussing racial issues in Pittsburgh are paired with images by iconic local photographer Charles “Teenie” Harris and discussions of race from the Pittsburgh Courier’s “Pittsburgh Speaks Up” column. Lynne Hayes-Freeland, the KDKA-TV reporter who co-curated the exhibit with photographer Nikkia Hall, asked some of the same questions used in the Courier interviews from the 1950s to the 1970s. “In 2014, most African Americans still see that there are problems with race relations, whereas a large percentage of non-African Americans don’t see them as a problem,” she says. That was true in the past as well; one difference is that black-on-black violence wasn’t as prevalent in the ’50s and ’60s. “I am hopeful that if people look at the photographs, and they look at the answers, they will then be inclined to have a conversation [about race],” says Hayes-Freeland. Angela Suico Exhibit continues through Oct. 27. 4400 Forbes Ave., Oakland. $11.95-17.95. 412-622-3131 or www.carnegiemnh.org

8 p.m. Continues through Sun., April 6. 719 Liberty Ave., Downtown. $12.75195.75. 412-456-6666 or www.pittsburghopera.org

{WORDS}

“I worked the late shift at the hardware store, cleaning floors. Most nights I swept and mopped then napped or read books of poetry or sometimes smoked a little dope in the carpet section, hiding high in the racks between the rolls of shag and Astroturf.” So begins Two Small Birds (Writers Tribe Books), the new novel by acclaimed local author Dave Newman, about two brothers struggling with life. Newman’s works include 2012’s novel Raymond Carver Will Not Raise Our Children and other intense (if often hilarious) explorations of working-class life. His booklaunch is tonight, at East End Book Exchange. BO 7 p.m. 4754 Liberty Ave., Bloomfield. Free. 412-224-2847 or www. eastendbookexchange.com

{SCREEN}

{PHOTO COURTESY OF DAVID BACHMAN}

The Black Maria Film & Video

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{WORDS}

Festival has been running since by some two dozen local 6 Allegheny Square East, 1981, and its tours have been musicians, dancers, theater North Side. $25-30 ($35 hitting Pittsburgh Filmmakers artist, filmmakers, poets, visual includes pre-show reception). for nearly as long. But artists and fashion designers. www.nonameplayers.org venerable though it is, SWAN Day contributors like the Black Maria prides {MUSIC} itself on a cutting-edge This year’s Sunstar showcase, shorts program, with presented by the Kellydocumentaries, fiction films Strayhorn Theater, is a and animation drawn “Tribute to the Ladies of from winners of its Jazz.” Oh, there are international juried boys in the band — a competition. Tonight’s six-piece including screening, at the Alton Merrell on MARCH 27 Melwood Screening piano and Jeff Bush on Jennifer Room, will be trombone — but the Jackson presented, as always, featured performers Berry and by Black Maria are vocalists Spanky Lummox founder John Wilson (pictured), Y N} ES SO T L Columbus. BO Tania Grubbs, Kenia UR HE CO IC 7:30 p.m. 477 Melwood and BeLove. As for the O TN T T HO A Ave., Oakland. $4-8. set lists, the singers were {P F M O 412-681-5449 or asked, “With only music and as www.pittsburgharts.org 15 minutes, how would you tell your story?” BO 8 p.m. 5941 Penn Ave., East Liberty. writer and performer Gab {SHOWCASE} $15-25. 412-363-3000 or Cody, vocalist Aqwenique The first six years of www.kelly-strayhorn.org Wingfield and Continuum international Support Women Dance Theater have been Artists Now Day has inspired asked to communicate“ 1,000 celebratory events in a story of their own that 23 countries. Pittsburgh’s they’ve never told before.” contribution, courtesy of No The show’s tonight, at the New {TALK} Name Players, returns with Hazlett Theater. BO 8 p.m. exhibits and performances The movement to put a price on carbon emissions is picking up steam, as it were. But if the grim prospect of climate change does induce us to MARCH 29 impose a federal carbon tax, La Bohème or cap-and-permit system … who gets the money? At today’s Climate Change Lecture at the University of Pittsburgh, University of Massachusetts, Amherst energy economist James K. Boyle addresses the issue in a free talk titled “Climate Policy as Wealth Creation.” A panel discussion includes representatives from Carnegie Mellon and the National Energy Technology Laboratory. BO 4:30 p.m. University Club, 123 University Place, Oakland. Free. Reserve a seat at www.honorscollege.pitt.edu.

Iago or Richard II? Or maybe Goneril or Lady Macbeth is more your style. At tonight’s Bring Your Own Bard event, Pittsburgh Shakespeare the Parks invites professional actors and non-actors alike to perform their favorite role among “Shakespeare’s Villains.” Or you can just come

religion and politics with 2008’s The Family: The Secret Fundamentalism at the Heart of the American Power. His latest book, Sweet Heaven When I Die: Faith, Faithlessness and the Country In Between, collects non-fiction essays exploring faith’s different manifestations in the U.S. The profiles include

MARCH 28

Varekai

+ MON., MARCH 31

TA S T E

M U S I C

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to listen. The informal reading series is at Te Café. BO 7:30 p.m. 2000 Murray Ave., Squirrel Hill. $10 requested donation (benefits PSIP). www. pittsburghshakespeare.com

+ THU., APRIL 03 {TALK}

Journalist Jeff Sharlet exposed the ties between +

E V E N T S

a therapist who claims to channel Jesus to help her clients, and a youth fundamentalist organization that rails against “feminists and Muslims.” Sharlet appears tonight at the Frick Fine Arts Auditorium for the Pittsburgh Contemporary Writers Series. AS 8:30 p.m. 650 Schenley Plaza, Oakland. Free. 412-624-6508 or pghwriterseries.wordpress.com

C L A S S I F I E D S

{ALL LISTINGS MUST BE SUBMITTED BY 9 A.M. FRIDAY PRIOR TO PUBLICATION}

TO SUBMIT A LISTING: HTTP://HAPPENINGS.PGHCITYPAPER.COM 412.316.3388 (FAX) + 412.316.3342 X161 (PHONE)

Available At: Save-Mor Beer & Pop Warehouse

STARK. Satire of race in the glamorous days of Old Hollywood, presented by The REP. Thu, Fri, 8 p.m., Sat, 2 & 8 p.m. and Sun, 2 p.m. Thru April 6. Pittsburgh Playhouse, Oakland. 412-392-8000. DOROTHY IN OZ. Dark retelling of the Wizard of Oz. Presented by Rage of the Stage Players. Mature audiences. Thu, Fri, 8 p.m. and Sat, 5 & 8 p.m. Thru March 29. Off the Wall Theater, Carnegie. 724-292-8427. GLENGARRY GLEN ROSS. David Mamet’s drama about the desperate world of boiler room real estate. Presented by the Indiana Players. Fri, Sat, 7:30 p.m. and Sun, 2:30 p.m. Thru April 6. Philadelphia Street Playhouse. 724-464-0725. GROUNDED. One-woman show following a gutsy fighter pilot whose unexpected pregnancy puts her career on hold. Sun, 5:30 & 9 p.m., Sun., March 30, 7 p.m., Tue, Wed,

7 p.m., Thu, Fri, 8 p.m. and Sun, 2 p.m. Thru May 4. City Theatre, South Side. 412-431-2489. HAY FEVER. Comedy by Noel Coward. Presented by The Heritage Players. Fri, Sat, 8 p.m. and Sun, 2 p.m. Thru March 30. Seton Center, Brookline. 412-254-4633. HER THINGS: AN INTERACTIVE ESTATE SALE. Interactive theater performance. Presented by Uncumber Theatrics. Thru March 28, 8 p.m. and Sat., March 29, 3 & 8 p.m. ModernFormations Gallery, Garfield. 412-362-0274. AN ILIAD. A new adaptation Homer’s epic poem. Presented by Pittsburgh Public Theater. Wed-Fri, 8 p.m., Sat, 2 & 8 p.m., Sun, 2 & 7 p.m. and Tue, 7 p.m. Thru April 1. O’Reilly Theater, Downtown. 412-316-1600. IN THE HEIGHTS. Story of a vibrant community in Manhattan’s Washington Heights neighborhood. Presented by University of Pittsburgh Dept. of Theatre Arts.

{BY ERIC LIDJI}

INTRODUCING OUR NEW “27“ CRAFT TAP SYSTEM SOCIAL HOUR MON- FRI 6pm- 8pm 1$ OFF ALL CRAFT BREWS! 3$ HOUSE HOUSEMADE MADE LIQUOR Q INFUSIONS (Bourbon- Bacon. Rum- honeydew, peach, apples & cinnamon. Tequila- mango & chili pepper. Vodka- espresso, blueberry& lemon, gummy, grape, pineapple, berry, pear.))

FINCH’S CRAFT BEER SAMPLING FRI MARCH 28th- 8pm-10pm 412-918-1215 412-91 9188 -1215 1908 C Carson arson S Street treet l S Southside ouths hsid i e l 41 LIKE US ON FACEBO OK

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 03.26/04.02.2014

Tue-Sat, 8 p.m. and Sun, 2 p.m. musical feat. hits of Journey, Night Ranger, Styx, REO Thru April 13. Charity Randall Speedwagon, Pat Benatar, Theatre, Oakland. 412-624-7529. Twisted Sister, Poison, Asia, & JUDGE JACKIE JUSTICE Whitesnake. Mon., March 31, A NEW MUSICAL COMEDY. 7:30 p.m. Palace Theatre, The courtroom of Judge Greensburg. 724-836-8000. Jackie Justice is now in session SOUTH PARK THEATRE. w/ “real” cases involving Children’s Theatre Auditions zombies, spaceships, furries, for 2014 Season. more. Wed-Fri, 7:30 p.m. April 12. Cold readings and Sat, Sun, 2 p.m. from script. Those Thru April 27. interested in Cabaret at Theater . w ww per performing in a Square, Downtown. a p ty ci h pg musical will also be 412-456-6666. .com asked to sing a little LA BOHÈME. Presented of a favorite song. No by the Pittsburgh Opera. appointment necessary. Sat., March 29, 8 p.m., Tue., Bring photo & resume. April 1, 7 p.m., Fri., April 4, Thru April 12. Bethel Park. 8 p.m. and Sun., April 6, 2 p.m. 412-831-8552. Pittsburgh Opera, Strip District. TRIBES. Billy, a deaf 412-456-6666. twenty-something who is MACDEATH. Interactive adept at lipreading the brash murder mystery dinner theater. discourse of his family, falls Fri., March 28, 6:30 p.m. for a woman who’s losing her Lamplighter Restaurant. hearing & everyone is forced to 724-468-4545 & Sat., March 29, learn a lesson about listening. 6 p.m. Ripepi Winery & Vineyard. Thu, Fri, 8 p.m., Sat, 5:30 & 9 p.m. 724-292-8351. and Sun, 2 p.m. Thru March 30. ROCK OF AGES. Tony-nominated City Theatre, South Side. 412-431-2489. VERONICA’S ROOM. Mystery thriller by Ira Levin. March 27-28, 8 p.m. and Sat., March 29, 2 & 8 p.m. California University. 724-938-5943. A WOMAN OF NO IMPORTANCE. Comedy by Oscar Wilde. Presented by the hobnob theatre company. Fri, Sat, 8 p.m. and Sun., March 30, 8 p.m. Thru April 5. Butler Art Center, Butler. Art Center.

FULL LIST ONLINE

PUBLICNOTICES P U B L IC N OTI CE S@ P GH C IT YPAPE R . C O M

THEATER BY THE WAY, MEET VERA

COMEDY THU 27

COMEDY OPEN MIC W/ DEREK MINTO. Thu, 9 p.m. Thru April 24 Hambone’s, Lawrenceville. 412-681-4318. JIM GAFFIGAN. 7 & 9:30 p.m. Heinz Hall, Downtown. 412-392-4900. PITTSBURGH IMPROV JAM. Thu, 10 p.m. Cabaret at Theater Square, Downtown. 412-325-6769. ROB DELANEY. 8:30 & 10:30 p.m. Rex Theater, South Side. 412-381-6811.

FRI 28

BEST OF THE BURGH COMEDY SHOWCASE. Fri, 8 p.m. Thru May 30 Corner Cafe, South Side. 412-488-2995. JOHN EVANS, AUGGIE COOK, DAVID KAYE. Carnegie Boys & Girls Club Funny Fundraiser. 6:30 p.m. DoubleTree Hotel Green Tree. 412-920-5653. CONTINUES ON PG. 48

FRI, MARCH 28, 9PM BRAZILIAN/FOLK/BLUES M A T U T O PLUS MACHETE KISUMONTAO SAT, MARCH 29, 9PM TITLE TOWN'S SOUL AND FUNK DANCE PARTY WITH

WESLEY BRIGHT AND THE HI-LITES SUN, MARCH 30, 9PM FOLK/ROCK/SOUL

FRUITION MON, MARCH 31, 8PM FOLK ROCK

MISTY BOYCE & B R EWITH WSPECIAL E R SGUEST R OW TIFFANY CHRISTOPHER

Wednesday, March 26-9 26-9pm

TUES, APRIL 1, 9PM JAZZ

S PAC E EXCHANGE SERIES

VISUAL

ART

WED, APRIL 2, 8PM BRAZILIAN/JAZZ/FUNK

LUISA MAITA WITH SPECIAL GUESTS

“Spectator 0412,” by April Friges, from POP EXPLOSION: The Artist and Popular Culture, at Sweetwater Center for the Arts, in Sewickley

NEW THIS WEEK

LAWRENCE HALL GALLERY. Visions & Revelations. Work by members of the National Association of Women Artists. Opens March 28. Downtown. 412-392-8008. MILLER GALLERY AT CARNEGIE MELLON UNIVERSITY. Lossless. Carnegie Mellon School of Art’s MFA Thesis Exhibition feat. large-scale installations, video & generative sound art. Opening reception: March 28, 6-8 p.m. Oakland. 412-268-3618.

ONGOING

3RD STREET GALLERY. Internationally Inspired. A creative response to the 2013 Carnegie International by the Pittsburgh Society of Artists. Artists talk March 29, 6-8 p.m. Carnegie. 412-276-5233. 707 PENN GALLERY. Porous Sediments. Installation by Haylee Ebersole. Downtown. 412-456-6666. 709 PENN GALLERY. Dream Body. Video installation by Blaine Siegel. Downtown. 412-471-6070. ANDY WARHOL MUSEUM. I Just Want to Watch: Warhol’s Film, Video and Television. Long-term exhibition of Warhol’s film & video work. Permanent collection. Artwork and artifacts by the famed Pop Artist. North Side. 412-237-8300.

ART INSTITUTE OF PITTSBURGH. Annual High School Teachers’ Exhibition. Feat. high school art & media educators’ artwork. Downtown. 412-263-6600. ARTICA. David Gonano. Photography. Garfield. 412-661-0641. BACKSTAGE BAR AT THEATRE SQUARE. You Can’t Be Serious. Abstract minimalist paintings by Rose Duggan. Downtown. 412-325-6768. BE GALLERIES. Flow: Recent Iterations in Clay. Work by Laura Jean McLaughlin & Kevin Snipes. Lawrenceville. 412-687-2606. BLUE OLIVE GALLERIES. Pittsburgh Panoramas/Metals. Tarentum. 724-275-7001. BOULEVARD GALLERY. Guentner’s Pittsburgh. Work by James Guentner. Verona. 412-828-1031. BOXHEART GALLERY. Panoptic Landscape. Work by Box Heart Gallery’s 2014 Artist of the Year, Irina Koukhanova. Bloomfield. 412-687-8858. BRYANT STREET LIMITED. Nostalgic Pastel Creations. Work by Linda Barnicott. Highland Park. 412-362-2200. CARNEGIE MUSEUM OF ART. Teenie Harris Photographs: Baseball in Pittsburgh. Feat. an inside look at some of the greatest moments in Negro League, Major League, & sandlot

baseball in Pittsburgh. Oakland. 412-622-3131. CHATHAM UNIVERSITY. Culture in Context. African Art from the Olkes Collection. Shadyside. 412-365-1232. CHRISTINE FRECHARD GALLERY. Between Abstraction & Realism. Work by Bettina Clowney. Squirrel Hill. 412-421-8888. CRAZY MOCHA COFFEE COMPANY. Tin Can Tramp Folk Art. Mixed media by Steph Neary. Bloomfield. 412-681-5225. EAST OF EASTSIDE GALLERY. In Anticipation of Spring. Work by Kevin O’ Toole, Constance Merriman, Karl Mullen, more. Forest Hills. 412-465-0140. ECLECTIC ART & OBJECTS GALLERY. 19th century American & European paintings combined with some of the world’s most talented contemporary artists & their artwork. The Hidden Collection. Watercolors by Robert N. Blair (1912- 2003). Hiromi Traditional Japanese Oil Paintings The Lost Artists of the 1893 Chicago Exhibition. Collectors Showcase. Emsworth. 412-734-2099. FILMMAKERS GALLERIES. Palimpsests: Ghost Signs of Pittsburgh. Photographs by Kelly Bogel. Oakland. 412-681-5449. FRICK ART & HISTORICAL CENTER. An American Odyssey: The Warner Collection CONTINUES ON PG. 49

N E W S

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M U S I C

COORS LIGHT BOTTLES $2.50 !

CHORO NO VINHO 4023 BU TLER ST LAWREN CEVILLE 412.682.017 7

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THU/MARCH 27/10PM BOOTY-LESQUE BURLESQUE SHOW

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$5.50 PBR POUNDER & FIREBALL SHOT Thursdays, all day ‘till Midnight

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BIG LIST, CONTINUED FROM PG. 46

MAGICIAN-COMEDIAN EXTREME MICHAEL GIGLIOTTI. Amazing strolling magic & comedy. Fun for the whole family feat. Caesars Palace award winning Master Magician MICHAELANGELO. Fri, 5-7 p.m. Mullen’s Bar & Grill, North Side. 412-231-1112. SCIT IMPROV COMEDY HOUSE TEAMS. Fri, 8 p.m. Thru April 11 Steel City Improv Theater, Shadyside. 412-404-2695.

EVERYONE IS A CRITIC EVENT: The History of America in 101 Objects book

talk by the Smithsonian’s Richard Kurin, Heinz History Center, Strip District

CRITIC: Steven Daum, 71, a

FRI 28 - SAT 29

retiree from Gibsonia

LARRY REEB. March 28-29, 8 p.m. Latitude 40, North Fayette. 412-693-5555.

WHEN: Sat.,

March 22

SAT 29

4TH ANNUAL COMEDY NIGHT W/ JIMMY ROACH. Benefits Mainstay Life Services. 7 p.m. Cefalo’s Banquet Center, Carnegie. 412-344-3640. CHAMPAGNE HIERARCHY. 9:30 p.m. Steel City Improv Theater, Shadyside. 412-404-2695. CHUCK KRIEGER, BILL BORONKAY, DAVID KAYE. 8 p.m. The Rose Bar, McKeesport. 412-751-6960. CRAIG GASS & JOE BARTNICK. 7:30 & 10 p.m. Rex Theater, South Side. 412-381-6811. YEAH, THOSE GUYS. 8 p.m. Steel City Improv Theater, Shadyside. 412-404-2695.

TUE 01

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Drink Specials!

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 03.26/04.02.2014

[Kurin] gave the rationale for why things were significant in American history, and why he put them in [the book]. Since he could only talk for 50 minutes, he couldn’t go into depth about the 101 objects. It was basically an introduction, and history buffs like to get a lot of detail. I was glad to hear him say they had footnotes in the book. I was interested in hearing how the Smithsonian made decisions such as, how do you pick 101 objects? Because, especially for the Smithsonian, there are always political considerations in what you pick. Having been in positions where you have to rank things, I would imagine that picking the first 50 objects wasn’t all that hard. Picking the next 25? A little harder. Picking the last 25? Really hard. But who gets to decide and who doesn’t? It’s like putting together the Olympic ski team. BY ANGELA SUICO

TUESDAY NIGHT STAND-UP. Tue, 9 p.m. Hot Rod Cafe, Mt. Washington. 412-592-7869.

roll-played musical instruments and music boxes in a mansion setting. Call for appointment. BEST OF THE BURGH O’Hara. 412-782-4231. COMEDY SHOWCASE. 8:30 p.m. BOST BUILDING. Collectors. Buckhead Saloon, Station Square. Preserved materials reflecting 412-232-3101. the industrial heritage of COMEDY OPEN MIC. Hosted by Southwestern PA. Homestead. Ronald Renwick. Wed, 9:30 p.m. 412-464-4020. Scarpaci’s Place, Mt. Washington. CARNEGIE MUSEUM OF 412-431-9908. NATURAL HISTORY. RACE: SHELBY COMIN: TAINTED. Are We So Different? Text, 7 p.m. The Improv, Waterfront. photographs, interactive 412-462-5233. audiovisual components, & STAND-UP COMEDY related artifacts challenge OPEN MIC. Wed, 8 p.m. perceptions about race. The BeerHive, Strip Opens March 29. District. 412-904-4502. Oakland. 412-622-3131. CARNEGIE . w w w SCIENCE CENTER. aper p ty ci h g p ALLEGHENY-KISKI Ongoing: Buhl Digital .com VALLEY HERITAGE Dome (planetarium), MUSEUM. Military Miniature Railroad artifacts and exhibits on and Village, USS Requin the Allegheny Valley’s submarine, and more. industrial heritage. Tarentum. North Side. 412-237-3400. 724-224-7666. CARRIE FURNACE. Built in ARTDFACT. Artdfact Gallery. 1907, Carrie Furnaces 6 & 7 are extremely rare examples An eclectic showroom of fine of pre World War II art sculpture & paintings from iron-making technology. Rankin. emerging artists. North Side. 412-464-4020 x.21. 724-797-3302. COMPASS INN. Demos and AUGUST WILSON CENTER tours with costumed guides FOR AFRICAN AMERICAN featuring this restored CULTURE. Pittsburgh: Reclaim, stagecoach stop. 724-238-4983. Renew, Remix. Feat. imagery, CONNEY M. KIMBO film & oral history narratives to GALLERY. University of explore communities, cultures, Pittsburgh Jazz Exhibit: & innovations. Downtown. Memorabilia & Awards from 412-258-2700. the International Hall of Fame. BAYERNHOF MUSEUM. Oakland. 412-648-7446. Large collection of automatic

WED 02

EXHIBITS

FULL LIST ONLINE

DEPRECIATION LANDS MUSEUM. Small living history museum celebrating the settlement and history of the Depreciation Lands. Allison Park. 412-486-0563. FALLINGWATER. Tour the famed Frank Lloyd Wright house. 724-329-8501. FIRST PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH. Tours of 13 Tiffany stained-glass windows. Downtown. 412-471-3436. FORT PITT MUSEUM. Unconquered: History Meets Hollywood at Fort Pitt. Original movie props, photographs, & costumes alongside 18th century artifacts & documents, comparing & contrasting historical events w/ Hollywood depictions. Reconstructed fort houses museum of Pittsburgh history circa French & Indian War and American Revolution. Downtown. 412-281-9285. FRICK ART & HISTORICAL CENTER. Ongoing: tours of Clayton, the Frick estate, with classes, car & carriage museum. Point Breeze. 412-371-0600. HARTWOOD ACRES. Tour this Tudor mansion and stable complex, and enjoy hikes and outdoor activities in the surrounding park. Allison Park. 412-767-9200. HUNT INSTITUTE FOR BOTANICAL DOCUMENTATION. Duets. Harmonious couplings of botanical art w/ items created between the 16th & 21st centuries

from the Hunt Institute collections. Opens March 30. Oakland. 412-268-2434. KENTUCK KNOB. Tour the other Frank Lloyd Wright house. 724-329-8501. KERR MEMORIAL MUSEUM. Tours of a restored 19th-century, middle-class home. Oakmont. 412-826-9295. MARIDON MUSEUM. Collection includes jade and ivory statues from China and Japan, as well as Meissen porcelain. Butler. 724-282-0123. MCGINLEY HOUSE & MCCULLY LOG HOUSE. Historic homes open for tours, lectures and more. Monroeville. 412-373-7794. MCKEESPORT REGIONAL HISTORY & HERITAGE CENTER. The Civil War in Pennsylvania. Feat. 4 life size figures that help tell the story of how people from Western Pennsylvania became involved in the war effort, either as soldiers, factory workers, or eye witnesses. McKeesport. 412-678-1832. NATIONAL AVIARY. Home to more than 600 birds from over 200 species. With classes, lectures, demos and more. North Side. 412-323-7235. NATIONALITY ROOMS. 26 rooms helping to tell the story of Pittsburgh’s immigrant past. University of Pittsburgh. Oakland. 412-624-6000. OLD ST. LUKE’S. Pioneer church features 1823 pipe organ, Revolutionary War graves. Scott. 412-851-9212. OLIVER MILLER HOMESTEAD. This pioneer/Whiskey Rebellion site features log house, blacksmith shop & gardens. South Park. 412-835-1554. PENNSYLVANIA TROLLEY MUSEUM. Trolley rides and exhibits. Includes displays, walking tours, gift shop, picnic area and Trolley Theatre. Washington. 724-228-9256. PHIPPS CONSERVATORY & BOTANICAL GARDEN. Spring Flower Show. Showcase of musical genres through whimsical sculptures made out of up-cycled instruments alongside thousands of vibrant tulips, daffodils, hyacinths & other seasonal favorites. 14 indoor rooms & 3 outdoor gardens feature exotic plants and floral displays from around the world. Garden Railroad. Dinosaurthemed train display. Oakland. 412-622-6914. PINBALL PERFECTION. Pinball museum & players club. West View. 412-931-4425. PITTSBURGH ZOO & PPG AQUARIUM. Home to 4,000 animals, including many endangered species. Highland Park. 412-665-3639. RACHEL CARSON HOMESTEAD. A Reverence for Life. Photos and artifacts of her life & work. Springdale. 724-274-5459. RIVERS OF STEEL NATIONAL HERITAGE AREA. Exhibits on the Homestead Mill. Steel industry

VISUAL ART

CONTINUED FROM PG. 47

of American Painting. Feat. American artists from the nation’s early years of independence through the dawn of the 20th century. Permanent collection of European Art. Point Breeze. 412-371-0600. FUTURE TENANT. The “Take a Painting” Project. Interactive painting installation by Erika Stearly. Part of the Trespass Residency Series. Downtown. 412-325-7037. GALERIE WERNER, THE MANSIONS ON FIFTH. City Scenes: Finding Harmony in Pittsburgh’s Changing Colors. Paintings by Claire Hardy. Oakland. 412-716-1390. GALLERIE CHIZ. Rejuvenate. Work by Baron Batch & Terry Wise. Shadyside. 412-441-6005. THE GALLERY 4. Dancing Color. Paintings by Marion Di Quinzio. Shadyside. 412-363-5050. GALLERY ON 43RD STREET. Don’t Shoot the Bunny. Metal collages by Robert Villamagna. Lawrenceville. 412-683-6488. GLENN GREENE STAINED GLASS STUDIO INC. Original Glass Art by Glenn Greene. Exhibition of new work, recent work & older work. Regent Square. 412-243-2772. GREENSBURG GARDEN AND CIVIC CENTER. Westmoreland Photographer’s Society Exhibition. westmorelandphotographers society.ning.com. Greensburg. 724-836-1757. IRMA FREEMAN CENTER FOR IMAGINATION. Surfacing. Work by Nina Marie Barbuto, Ashley Andrykovitch, Alberto Almarza & Samantha McDonough. Garfield. 412-924-0634. LA PRIMA ESPRESSO. Paintings/Prints of Italy. Prints of Vince Ornato’s oil paintings of Italy. Strip District. 412-281-1922.

and community artifacts from 1881-1986. Homestead. 412-464-4020. SENATOR JOHN HEINZ HISTORY CENTER. From Slavery to Freedom. Highlight’s Pittsburgh’s role in the anti-slavery movement. Ongoing: Western PA Sports Museum, Clash of Empires, and exhibits on local history, more. Strip District. 412-454-6000. SEWICKLEY HEIGHTS HISTORY CENTER. Museum commemorates Pittsburgh industrialists, local history. Sewickley. 412-741-4487. SOLDIERS & SAILORS MEMORIAL HALL. War in the Paciﬁc 1941-1945. Feat. a collection of military artifacts showcasing photographs,

LAKEVUE ATHLETIC CLUB. Pop-Up Gallery. Work by a variety of artists. 724-316-9326. LAROCHE COLLEGE. Positive Space. Juried art & design student showcase. Wexford. 412-367-9300. LAWRENCE HALL GALLERY. Recent Work by Lindsay Dill & Aldona Bird. Downtown. 412-391-4100. MALL AT ROBINSON. City by the Bay. Photography by PTI students. Robinson. MATTRESS FACTORY. DETROIT: Artists in Residence. Work by Design 99, Jessica Frelinghuysen, Scott Hocking, Nicola Kuperus & Adam Lee Miller, Russ Orlando, Frank Pahl. Janine Antoni: Within. Chiharu Shiota: Trace of Memory. Site-specific installation focusing on the body w/ relation to place & space. Ongoing Installations. Works by Turrell, Lutz, Kusama, Anastasi, Highstein, Wexler & Woodrow. North Side. 412-231-3169. MORGAN CONTEMPORARY GLASS GALLERY. pgc@mgg. Group show feat. featuring artists who either work or teach at the Pittsburgh Glass Center. Shadyside. 412-441-5200. MOST-WANTED FINE ART GALLERY. Rareﬁed Vibes. Work by Alysa Sheats & John Shook. Garfield. 412-443-0606. NORTH HILLS ART CENTER. March to a Different Drummer. Watercolors by Doug Brown. Ross. 412-364-3622. PANZA GALLERY. Fractured. Paintings by David Berger. Millvale. 412-821-0959. PERCOLATE. Traveling Souls. Paintings by Samir Elsabee & Bob Ziller. Wilkinsburg. 412-606-1220. PHOTO ANTIQUITIES. Photography of the Great Gatsby Era. See what cameras were popular in the Roaring

uniforms, shells & other related items. Military museum dedicated to honoring military service members since the Civil War through artifacts & personal mementos. Oakland. 412-621-4253. ST. ANTHONY’S CHAPEL. Features 5,000 relics of Catholic saints. North Side. 412-323-9504. ST. NICHOLAS CROATIAN CATHOLIC CHURCH. Maxo Vanka Murals. Mid-20th century murals depicting war, social justice and the immigrant experience in America. Millvale. 421-681-0905. WEST OVERTON MUSEUMS. Learn about distilling and coke-making in this pre-Civil War industrial village. 724-887-7910.

20’s including Kodak Vest Pocket Cameras & Vanity Cameras, beautifully housed in Art Deco styled cases. Some even came complete with a mirror and lipstick for those flappers on the go! North Side. 412-231-7881. PITTSBURGH CENTER FOR THE ARTS. Robert Qualters: A Life. A retrospective curated by Vicky A. Clark. Plume. Installation by Ian Brill. Shadyside. 412-361-0873. PITTSBURGH GLASS CENTER. Halfway to Somewhere. Work by Granite Calimpong & Brent Rogers. Friendship. 412-365-2145. REVISION SPACE. Fugue States. Work by Cy Gavin. Lawrenceville. 412-735-3201. SOCIETY FOR CONTEMPORARY CRAFT SATELLITE GALLERY. Kevin O’Toole: Recent Works. Wood sculptures. Downtown. 412-261-7003 x 29. SPACE. The Secret Life of Robots. Installation by Toby Atticus Fraley. Downtown. 412-325-7723. SWEETWATER CENTER FOR THE ARTS. Pop Explosion: The Artist & Popular Culture. Group show juried by Nicholas Chambers. Sewickley. 412-741-4405. THE TOONSEUM. Wonder Women: On Page & Off. Feat. 70+ pieces of original art representing over 50 women artists, historical timeline tracing the history of women in comics & landmark events in women’s quest for equality from 1896 to present, more. Downtown. 412-232-0199. WESTMORELAND MUSEUM OF AMERICAN ART. Born of Fire: The Valley Work. Greensburg. 724-837-1500. WOOD STREET GALLERIES. Structures of Time & Space. Light installation by Erwin Redl. Downtown. 412-471-5605.

FESTIVALS SAT 29

34TH ANNUAL LATIN AMERICAN & CARIBBEAN FESTIVAL. Live music, food, crafts, children’s activities, more. 12-10 p.m. Wesley W. Posvar Hall, Oakland. 412-648-7394. CHERRY BLOSSOM FESTIVAL. Live koto music, traditional tea ceremony, Bonsai demos, kimono exhibit, more. 12-3 p.m. North Hills Art Center, Ross. 412-364-3622.

DANCE THU 27 - SUN 30

CIRQUE DU SOLEIL: VAREKAI.

March 27-28, 7:30 p.m., Sat., March 29, 4 & 7:30 p.m. and Sun., March 30, 1:30 & 5 p.m. Petersen Events Center, Oakland. 1-800-745-3000.

SAT 29

NAWAL BELLY DANCE GALA SHOW. Feat. Virginia Mendez. 7:30 p.m. Pittsburgh Dance Center, Bloomfield. 412-681-0111.

FUNDRAISERS THU 27

CARNEGIE BOROUGH 120TH ANNIVERSARY CONCERT. Feat. Joe Negri. Benefits the Historical Society of Carnegie. 7:30 p.m. Andrew Carnegie Free Library Music Hall, Carnegie. 412-276-7447. PITTSBURGH GLASS CENTER BENEFIT DINNER. 6-9 p.m. Casbah, Shadyside. 412-365-2145. WINE N’ WIGS. Best wig contest, wine auction, more. Benefits the DePaul School for Hearing & Speech. 5:30-7:30 p.m. Savoy Restaurant, Strip District. 412-924-1012.

FRI 28

EDIE’S FOURTH BIRTHDAY PARTY. Celebration for the hotel’s resident canine ambassador, benefiting Animal Friends. 12:30-1:30 p.m. Fairmont Pittsburgh, Downtown. 412-773-8800. AN EVENING OF ARTS FOR AUTISM. Feat. film screening, aerial dance by Kelsey Keller, live music, magician T.J. Hill, more. Benefits the Joey Travolta Scholarship Fund. 6:30 p.m. Kelly-Strayhorn Theater, East Liberty. 412-848-9355.

SAT 29

7TH ANNUAL RACE FOR GRACE. Benefits the Reflections Of Grace Foundation. 7 a.m.1 p.m. Norwin High School, North Huntingdon. 412-848-7201. DIG DORMONT SPRING PLANTING FUNDRAISER. Live entertainment, drink specials, more. facebook.com/ DIGDormont 7 p.m. Dormont VFW Hall, Dormont. ELECTRO CHAMPAGNE SOIREÉ. Hors d’oeuvres, fashion show, live music, more. Benefits the Homeless Children’s Education Fund. 8 p.m. Enigma Elite Lounge, Downtown. 412-391-1004. AN EVENING OF ELEGANCE. An evening of dancing & celebration to benefit Yes, You Can Dance. 7 p.m. Soldiers & Sailors Memorial Hall, Oakland. 412-999-3998. FAMILY HOUSE GIFTING GALA. Live music, dancing, dinner, more. 6:30-11 p.m. Omni William Penn, Downtown. 412-647-7656. OUT OF HAND. Silent auction, hands-on activities, art demos, more. 7:30-11:30 p.m. The Society for Contemporary Craft, Strip District. 412-261-7003. CONTINUES ON PG. 50

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BIG LIST, CONTINUED FROM PG. 49

PICTURE THIS! Feat. glass mosaics & photography for sale created by Ward Home teens. Benefits Ward Home programs. 6-9 p.m. Pittsburgh Glass Center, Friendship. 412-722-1404 x 236. SHAKE YOUR BOOTIES. Cocktails, hors d’oeuvres, silent auction, photo booth, live music, more. Benefits The Children’s Home. 6 p.m. Heinz Field, North Side. 412-441-4884 x 2044.

SUN 30

SPANISH CONVERSATION CLUB. Second and Fourth Thu of every month, 6-7 p.m. Carnegie Library, Oakland. 412-622-3151. WENDY RUDERMAN & BARBARA LAKER. Book signings & presentations by two Philadelphia Daily News reporters for their new book, Busted: A Tale of Corruption & Betrayal in the City of Brotherly Love. 1 & 5:30 p.m. Point Park University, JVH Auditorium, Downtown. 412-320-7835.

BOOK ‘EM BOOKS TO PRISONERS WORK PARTY. Read & code letters, pick books, pack ‘em or database ‘em! Sundays 4-7 p.m. or by appt. BOOK CHAT. Book group Thomas Merton Center, Garfield. for seniors only. 10 a.m. 412-361-3022. Mount Lebanon Public Library, RUN VK PITTSBURGH. Mt. Lebanon. 412-531-1912. 5K run benefiting The V RICHARD ZIELINSKI. Reading Foundation for Cancer Research. & book signing w/ author 9 a.m. Heinz Field, North Side. of The Short Stories of a 412-292-9627. Strange Man. 7 p.m. Shaler THINK PINK WINE WARS. North Hills Library, Glenshaw. 4-course meal w/ wine pairing 412-486-0211. for each course. Benefits Susan G. Komen Pittsburgh. 2 p.m. Pino’s, Point Breeze. 412-361-1336. DAVE NEWMAN XTREME BINGO BOOK LAUNCH. W/ THE ANIMAL Release of Two Small RESCUE LEAGUE. Birds w/ opening Benefits the Delta readings by Scott Foundation. 5 p.m. Silsbe, Sarah Shotland, www. per pa Pittsburgh Opera, & Lori Jakiela. pghcitym o .c Strip District. 7 p.m. East End Book 412-322-2800. Exchange, Bloomfield. 412-224-2847.

FRI 28

SAT 29

FULL LIST E N O LIN

MON 31

CELEBRATION OF RECONCILIATION. Film screening, panel discussion, more. Benefits the Mediation Council of Western Pennsylvania. 5:30-8:30 p.m. Manchester Craftsmen’s Guild, North Side. 412-391-4330.

TUE 01

BOSTON MARATHON FUNDRAISER. 6-8 p.m. Harvard & Highland, East Liberty. 412-983-3671.

LITERARY THU 27

AFTER HAPPY HOUR REVIEW JOURNAL LAUNCH. 7:30 p.m. Assemble, Garfield. 412-874-7191. ENGLISH LEARNERS’ BOOK CLUB. For advanced ESL students. Presented in cooperation w/ the Greater Pittsburgh Literacy Council. Thu, 1 p.m. Mount Lebanon Public Library, Mt. Lebanon. 412-531-1912. THE HOUR AFTER HAPPY HOUR WRITER’S WORKSHOP. Young writers & recent graduates looking for additional feedback on their work. thehourafterhappyhour. wordpress.com Thu, 7-9 p.m. The Big Idea Bookstore & Cafe, Bloomfield. 412-687-4323. A NIGHT W/ TONY NORMAN. Discussion w/ the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette editor/columnist. 7 p.m. California University. 724-938-4000.

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 03.26/04.02.2014

MON 31

BRING YOUR OWN BARD: SHAKESPEARE’S VILLAINS. Informal scene night, actors & non-actors read works of Shakespeare. 7:30 p.m. Te Cafe, Squirrel Hill. 412-521-6406. DAVID GIFFELS. Book signing & discussion w/ author of The Hard Way On Purpose: Essays and Dispatches from the Rust Belt. 6 p.m. Penguin Bookshop, Sewickley. 412-741-3838.

TUE 01

JAPANESE CONVERSATION CLUB. First and Third Tue of every month, 6-7 p.m. Carnegie Library, Oakland. 412-622-3151. KID’S BOOKS FOR GROWN-UPS BOOKCLUB. First Tue of every month, 10 a.m. Penguin Bookshop, Sewickley. 412-741-3838. LET’S SPEAK ENGLISH! Practice conversational English. Tue, 6 p.m. Carnegie Library, Squirrel Hill. 412-422-9650. PITTSBURGH CONTINENTAL PHILOSOPHY READING GROUP. Tue, 6 p.m. East End Book Exchange, Bloomfield. 412-224-2847.

WED 02

CARNEGIE KNITS & READS. Informal knitting session. First and Third Wed of every month, 4:30-5:30 p.m. Carnegie Library, Oakland. 412-622-3151. KATHLEEN GEORGE. Book launch for “The Johnstown Girls.”

6 p.m. Twentieth Century Club, Oakland. 412-828-4977.

KIDSTUFF THU 27 - FRI 28

INVISIBLE DRAWING. Thru March 28, 10 a.m.-4:30 p.m. Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh, North Side. 412-322-5058.

THU 27 - SUN 30

SUESSICAL THE MUSICAL. Presented by Urban Impact Pittsburgh. March 27-29, 7 p.m. and Sun., March 30, 2 p.m. Perry Traditional Academy, North Side. 412-321-3811 x 113.

THU 27 - WED 02

BACKYARD EXHIBIT. Musical swing set, sandbox, solar-powered instruments, more. Ongoing Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh, North Side. 412-322-5058. BALL. 500 beach balls, larger inflatable balls, a disco ball & music. Ongoing Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh, North Side. 412-322-5058. TOUGH ART. Interactive artworks by Chris Beauregard, Katie Ford, Scott Garner, Isla Hansen & Luke Loeffler. Ongoing Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh, North Side. 412-322-5058. XOXO: AN EXHIBIT ABOUT LOVE & FORGIVENESS. Explore love & forgiveness through interactive experiences. Thru Aug. 31 Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh, North Side. 412-322-5058.

FRI 28

FACTION FEST: A DIVERGENT MOVIE RELEASE PARTY. For students in grades 6-12. 7-9 p.m. Sewickley Public Library, Sewickley. 412-741-6920. OVERNIGHT ADVENTURES: DINOSAUR ENCOUNTERS. Explore Earth’s past by investigating the lifestyle & behavior of giants such as Dippy the Diplodocus to the first tiny mammals. Ages 6+. 7 p.m. Carnegie Museum of Natural History, Oakland. 412-622-3131.

SAT 29

FAMILY KITE WORKSHOP: MAKE IT! FLY IT! Make & decorate your own kite. 10 a.m. Frick Art & Historical Center, Point Breeze. 412-371-0600. LIGHT UP THE NIGHT GIRL SCOUT OVERNIGHT. Girl Scouts of all ages are invited to create a glowing work of art, explore exhibits & earn a glow-in-the-dark badge. 5:30 p.m. Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh, North Side. 412-322-5058 x 244. MARTY’S MARKET KIDS’ CORNER. Ages 5-11. Sat, 3-5 p.m. Marty’s Market, Strip District. 412-586-7177.

SAT 29 - SUN 30

CHARLOTTE’S WEB. Based on the book by E.B. White. Presented by The Theatre Factory KidWorks.

[LECTURE]

JOHANNES BRAHMS: HIS LIFE & MUSIC. Fri, 10 a.m. and Fri., April 25, 10 a.m. Thru April 11 Mount Lebanon Public Library, Mt. Lebanon. 412-531-1912. SQUIRREL HILL ACTIVE SENIORS NETWORK. Meetup to help seniors get & stay involved in social & civic activities. Fri, 3-4 p.m. Carnegie Library, Squirrel Hill. 412-242-8603.

Sat, Sun, 2 p.m. and Fri., April 4, 7:30 p.m. Thru April 6 The Theatre Factory. 412-374-9200.

SUN 30

FIVE LITTLE MONKEYS. In this zany play, 5 silly simian siblings insists on doing things their own way & monkey mayhem ensues. 2 & 5 p.m. Palace Theatre, Greensburg. 724-836-8000. PLAY W/ CLAY ON THE POTTERS WHEEL. Sun, 12-2 p.m. Thru March 30 Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh, North Side. 412-322-5058.

SUN 30

WED 02

WEDNESDAY MORNING WALK. Naturalist-led, rain or shine. Wed Beechwood Farms, Fox Chapel. 412-963-6100.

OTHER STUFF

Many people try to live a little greener — shopping with reusable bags, buying energy-saving light bulbs — but Toronto-based writer Vanessa Farquharson took it further, making one eco-friendly change every day for a year. Farquharson appears at the William Pitt Union Tuesday to present this year’s Heinz Distinguished Lecture: She’ll discuss her book Sleeping Naked Is Green: How an Eco-Cynic Unplugged Her Fridge, Sold Her Car, and Found Love in 366 Days, and detail what she learned from her experiment. 4:30 p.m. Tue., April 1. 3959 Fifth Ave., Oakland. Email kaw54@pitt.edu or visit www.mascarocenter.pitt.edu/ heinzlecture for information.

THU 27

BOARD GAMES NIGHT. Fourth Thu of every month, 6 p.m. Carnegie Library, Oakland. 412-622-3151. CHINESE CONVERSATION CLUB. Second and Fourth Thu of every month, 6-7 p.m. Carnegie Library, Oakland. 412-622-3151. THE DEN: A SPECIAL PROGRAMMING SERIES FOR NEW ADULTS. Video games, board games, easy drop-in art projects, book discussions, more. Second and Fourth Thu of every month Carnegie Library, Oakland. 412-622-3151. DOWNTON ABBEY TEA. Discuss the show, trivia contest w/ prizes, more. 7 p.m. Mount Lebanon Public Library, Mt. Lebanon. 412-531-1912. FILING FOR SOCIAL SECURITY - FLEXIBILITY & CHOICES FOR YOUR RETIREMENT INCOME. 6:30 p.m. Shaler North Hills Library, Glenshaw. 412-486-0211. FIRE K STUDIOS OPEN HOUSE. 2-4 & 6-9 p.m. Fire K Studios. 412-655-3030. INTERMEDIATE ITALIAN. Thu, 6:45-8:15 p.m. Thru March 27

$2 WELL DRINKS • $2 COORS LIGHT BOTTLES 2 FOR 1 LAP DANCES • 2 FOR 1 DRAFT BEERS EVERY THURSDAY THU IN MARCH ALL NIGHT LONG 1635 63 West Carson St. 635 412-471-5764

SAT 29

OUTSIDE

SURVIVAL BASICS. Tue, 3-4:30 p.m. Schenley Park, Oakland. 412-477-4677.

MADNESS IN MARCH $2 THURSDAYS

9TH ANNUAL GLOBAL PROBLEMS, GLOBAL SOLUTIONS CONFERENCE. Awareness to Action: Combating HIV/AIDS, Malaria and Other Diseases. Keynote speaker: Robert C. Gallo, M.D. March 28-29 LaRoche College, Wexford. 412-536-1198.

FAMILY GAME NIGHT. Last Mon of every month, 5-8 p.m. Dobra Tea, Squirrel Hill. 412-449-9833. LITTLE SPROUTS: MY FIRST GARDEN. Unravel a seed to explore its insides, learn what a plant needs to survive, more. Ages 2-3 w/ adult. Mon, 10:30 a.m.12 p.m. Thru March 31 Phipps Conservatory & Botanical Garden, Oakland. 412-441-4442 x 3925.

TUE 01

ABSOLUTELY THE BEST PARTY PRICES $4 TOP SHELF DRINKS & $2.25 BUD LIGHT BOTTLES  ALL NIGHT EVERY NIGHT

FRI 28 - SAT 29

MON 31

FRIENDS OF RACCOON CREEK ART CLUB: NATURE JOURNALING. 2-5 p.m. Raccoon Creek State Park. 724-899-3611.

PITTSBURGH’S PREMIER GENTLEMEN’S CLUB

Wilkins School Community Center, Swissvale. 412-478-2681. INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S ASSOCIATION OF PITTSBURGH. Social, cultural club of American/ international women. Thu First Baptist Church, Oakland. iwap. pittsburgh@gmail.com. MYBUSINESS STARTUP PROGRAM. Thu, 6:30-9:30 p.m. Thru April 10 Chatham University, Shadyside. 412-365-1253. RENAISSANCE DANCE GUILD. Learn a variety of dances from the 15-17th centuries. Porter Hall, Room A18A. Thu, 8 p.m. Carnegie Mellon University, Oakland. 412-567-7512. SAVVY SOCIAL SECURITY PLANNING. 6:30-8:15 p.m. The Center for Women, Squirrel Hill. 412-421-4400. TRIBUTE TO NAOMI SIMS. Hors d’oeuvres, music, more to honor the model raised in Pittsburgh. 6-8 p.m. 720 Records, Lawrenceville. 412-512-1914. WEEKLY WELLNESS CIRCLE. Group acupuncture & guided

meditation for stress-relief. Thu DeMasi Wellness, Aspinwall. 412-927-4768. WEST COAST SWING. Swing dance lessons for all levels. Thu, 7 p.m. Pittsburgh Dance Center, Bloomfield. 412-681-0111. WHAT ABENOMICS MEANS FOR THE UNITED STATES. 5:30-7 p.m. Allegheny HYP Club, Downtown. 412-433-5021.

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ASK THE EXPERT. Community education program to provide answers to medical questions. Mon-Fri. Thru March 31 UPMC St. Margaret, Sharpsburg. 412-784-4121.

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AFRICAN DANCE CLASS. Second and Third Fri of every month and Fourth and Last Fri of every month Irma Freeman Center for Imagination, Garfield. 412-924-0634. FRIDAY NIGHT CONTRA DANCE. Fri, 8 p.m. Swisshelm Park Community Center, Swissvale. 412-945-0554.

KOREAN FOR BEGINNERS. Sat, 1-2:30 p.m. Carnegie Library, Oakland. 412-622-3151. KOREAN II. For those who already have a basic understanding of Korean & are interested in increasing proficiency. Sat, 11 a.m.12:30 p.m. Carnegie Library, Oakland. 412-622-3151. NATIONAL LAWYERS GUILD MIDEAST REGIONAL CONFERENCE. nlgrustbelt.wordpress.com 9:30 a.m. University of Pittsburgh Law Building, Oakland. 412-648-1413. POSITIVE PARROTING – PET BIRD ENRICHMENT. Registration required. 10 a.m.-12 p.m. National Aviary, North Side. 412-258-9439. PRO WRESTLING EXPRESS. 7:30 p.m. Wrestleplex, McKeesport. PSYCHIC FAIR. Last Sat of every month, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Chapel of Oneness, West Mifflin. 412-770-4961. SATURDAY NIGHT SALSA CRAZE. Free lessons, followed by dancing. Sat, 10 p.m. La Cucina Flegrea, Downtown. 412-708-8844. SCOTTISH COUNTRY DANCING. Lessons 7-8 p.m., social dancing follows. No partner needed. Mon, 7 p.m. and Sat, 7 p.m. Grace Episcopal Church, Mt. Washington. 412-683-5670. SOUTH HILLS SCRABBLE CLUB. Free Scrabble games, all levels. Sat, 1-3 p.m. Mount Lebanon Public Library, Mt. Lebanon. 412-531-1912. SPANISH CONVERSATION GROUP. Friendly, informal. At the Starbucks inside Target. Sat, 3:30-5:30 p.m. Target, East Liberty. 412-362-6108. SWING CITY. Learn & practice swing dancing skills. Sat, 8 p.m. Wightman School, Squirrel Hill. 412-759-1569.

Thursday 7pm-2am Friday-Saturday 7pm-4am Friday

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KEYS TO LIVING EXPO. www.keystolivingexpo.com 10 a.m.-7 p.m. and Sun., March 30, 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Monroeville Convention Center, Monroeville. 412-681-8755. MINDFUL LIFE PROGRAM. March 29-30, 10 a.m. Sri Yantra Yoga. 724-746-1327. SPRING WORKSHOPS: GLASS FLOWERS. Sat, Sun, 10 a.m.-6 p.m., Sat., May 3, 10 a.m.-6 p.m. and Thru May 11, 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Thru April 6 Vessel Studio Glass, South Side. 412-721-7812.

SUN 30

8TH ANNUAL NORTH HILLS COIN CLUB COIN SHOW. 9 a.m.-3 p.m. Zelienople American Legion, Zelienople. 412-269-0181. AMNESTY INTERNATIONAL HUMAN RIGHTS CAFE. Weekly letter writing event. Sun, 4-6 p.m. Panera Bread, Oakland. 412-683-3727. ARGENTINE TANGO CLASSES. Sun, 5 p.m. Thru April 6 Wilkins School Community Center, Swissvale. 412-661-2480. ESSENTIALS OF A BELLYDANCE DRUM SOLO. Intensive dance workshop. Sun. Thru May 18 Fitness with a Twist, South Side. 412-225-3302. GATHERING OF WOMEN IN SONG & ARTIST TALK. w/ Jennifer Myers. 2 p.m. Pittsburgh Center for the Arts, Shadyside. 412-361-0873. INTENTIONAL EASE: 7 WAYS TO LIGHTEN UP. w/ Duke Kavinsky. Theosophical Society of Pittsburgh. 1:30-3 p.m. Chatham University, Shadyside. 412-462-4200.

After its big inaugural splash in 2013, the Moth GrandSLAM event returns for its second year, at the New Hazlett Theater. Ten storytellers who won Moth StorySLAMs this past year will vie to tell the best unscripted, five-minute story on the theme “Fall From Grace.” Writer and comedian Alan Olifson (pictured) hosts finalists Natalie Bell, Matt Bower, Brian Broome, Alex Homyak, Stacy Keene, Langston MacDiarmid, Jesse Northup, Todd Shafer, Brittany Story and John Dick Winters. 8 p.m. Wed., March 26. 6 Allegheny Square East, North Side. $20. www.newhazletttheater.org

TUE 01

DISTILLING IN PENNSYLVANIA. 7 p.m. Westmoreland County Historical Society, Greensburg. 724-532-1935 x 210. MINDFULNESS BASED STRESS REDUCTION. Tue, 6:30-8:30 p.m. Thru April 1 Family Hospice and Palliative Care, Mt. Lebanon. CAREGIVING SERIES. 412-572-8821. Learn how to care for yourself MT. LEBANON while caring for a relative CONVERSATION SALON. or friend. Mon, 1 p.m. Thru Discuss current events w/ friends March 31 Mount Lebanon & neighbors. For seniors. First Public Library, Mt. Lebanon. Tue of every month, 10 a.m. 412-531-1912. Mount Lebanon Public Library, MORNING SPANISH Mt. Lebanon. 412-531-1912. LITERATURE & PENN STATE MBA CONVERSATION. Mon, 10 a.m. INFORMATION SESSION. Mount Lebanon Public 6 p.m. Regional Learning Library, Mt. Lebanon. Alliance, Cranberry. 412-531-1912. 866-374-3378. SCOTTISH COUNTRY PITTSBURGH STRESS DANCING. Lessons www. per MANAGEMENT 7-8 p.m., social a p pghcitym GROUP. 5:30 p.m. dancing follows. No .co Grace Wellness Center, partner needed. Mon, Greenfield. 412-853-3189. 7 p.m. and Sat, 7 p.m. SLEEPING NAKED & Grace Episcopal Church, SHOWERING IN THE DARK: THE Mt. Washington. 412-683-5670. FUN PATH TO GREEN LIVING. SPELLING BEE WITH DAVE AND KUMAR. Mon Lava Lounge, 2014 Heinz Distinguished Lecture feat. Vanessa Farquharson. South Side. 412-431-5282. 4:30 p.m. William Pitt Union, Oakland. 412-648-7814. ASK THE EXPERT. Community education program to provide DETROIT STYLE URBAN answers to medical questions. BALLROOM DANCE. 3rd floor. Mon-Fri. Thru March 31 Wed, 6:30-8 p.m. Hosanna House, UPMC St. Margaret, Sharpsburg. 412-784-4121. Wilkinsburg. 412-242-4345.

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 03.26/04.02.2014

ENGLISH CONVERSATION (ESL). Wed, 10 a.m. Mount Lebanon Public Library, Mt. Lebanon. 412-531-1912. FAFSA COMPLETION SESSION. 5-8 p.m. University of Pittsburgh at Greensburg. 724-837-7040. LET’S SPEAK ENGLISH! Practice conversational English. Wed, 5-6 p.m. Carnegie Library, Oakland. 412-622-3151. THE PITTSBURGH SHOW OFFS. A meeting of jugglers & spinners. All levels welcome. Wed, 7:30 p.m. Union Project, Highland Park. 412-363-4550. SPANISH II. Geared toward those who already have a basic understanding of Spanish & are interested in increasing proficiency. First and Third Wed of every month, 6:30-7:30 p.m. Carnegie Library, Oakland. 412-622-3151. TEA CLASS & TASTING. History of tea, steeping techniques, Storing Tea, Health Benefits, more. Tea samples & European cookies will be served. First Wed of every month, 7 p.m. Margaret’s Fine Imports, Squirrel Hill. 412-422-1606. WEST COAST SWING WEDNESDAYS. Swing dance lessons. Wed, 9 p.m. The Library, South Side. 916-287-1373. YOUNG PROFESSIONALS MIXER. 5-8 p.m. Steel Cactus, Shadyside. 412-201-5772.

AUDITIONS DAY ROOM WINDOW. Day Room Window at The New Hazlett Theater. 6 Allegheny Square, North Side. March 31 & April 3 from 4:30-8pm. Multiracial cast of women ages 15-25. Prepare 2 minute dramatic contemporary monologue. Bring head shot & resume. Actors will be paid. Schedule audition w/ Kathryn Kelly at kskelly412@gmail.com. Information: www.dayroom window.com New Hazlett Theater, North Side. DISCOVER ME! Seeking 2 caucasian actresses age 18-30 for the movie production Discover Me! Call Robert at 412-209-9868. FRONT PORCH THEATRICALS. Auditions for Parade. April 1-2. AEA & Non-AEA actors for male/ female roles of all ethnicities. Females who can play age 13-16 also needed. Prepare 32 bars of standard up-tempo musical theater piece, 32 bars of a ballad if second song is requested. Please do not sing any songs from Parade. www.frontporchpgh.com CLO Academy, Downtown. 412-551-4027. THE HERITAGE PLAYERS. Auditions for The Crucible. March 29-30. Actors ages 11+, 1-min. dramatic dialogue. Schoolhouse Art Center, Bethel Park. 412-254-4633. LINCOLN PARK PERFORMING ARTS CENTER PROFESSIONAL COMPANY. Auditions for The Sound of Music. May 17-18. Seeking principal roles, von Trapp children, & male/female ensemble. www.centerauditions. org Lincoln Park Performing Arts Center. 724-259-6443. LITTLE LAKE THEATRE COMPANY. Auditions for 2014 season. March 16 & 30. Males/females ages 14+. More information & scheduling info at www.littlelake.org/auditions Little Lake Theatre, Canonsburg. 724-745-6300. MCKEESPORT LITTLE THEATER. Interviewing directors for 2014-2015 season. Send resume by March 31 to: McKeesport Little Theater P.O. Box 431 McKeesport, PA 15134 or email dfallows@7seasandtours.com. McKeesport. 412-673-1100. MONYOUGH COMMUNITY SINGERS. Seeking singers of all ages, especially baritones & basses. www.mycsingers.com 814-460-1731. OPEN CALL COMPETITION. From the producers of The PULSE On Tour, Open Call Competition gives dancers the opportunity to be critiqued by professional choreographers/dancers & talent agents & compete for scholarships, awards, prizes, &

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trophies. March 28-30. Email Heather Adzima at heather@ ptcproductionsnyc.com. Hillman Center for Performing Arts, Fox Chapel. 412-968-3045. POOR YORICKS PLAYERS. Auditions for 2014 season. March 29-30. 2-min. classical monologue. www.pooryoricksplayers.org Tall Trees Amphitheater, Monroeville. 412-537-1705. THE UNREHEARSED SHAKESPEARE PROJECT. Auditions for The Comedy of Errors. March 31 & April 1. Non-union male/female actors www.unrehearsed shakespeareproject.com. Email auditions@unrehearsed shakespeareproject.com. Third Presbyterian Church, Oakland. UNSEAM’D SHAKESPEARE COMPANY. Auditions for Orlando by Sarah Ruhl. March 28. Equity & Non-Union actors (2 female, 3 male), all roles are open. Prepare a period or contemporary comedic monologue, & be prepared to retell you favorite funny story. unseamdshakes@gmail.com Third Presbyterian Church, Oakland. 412-621-0244.

SUBMISSIONS ART ALL NIGHT: LAWRENCEVILLE. Submit one (& only one) piece of artwork or sign up to perform. Registration & other info at http://www. artallnight.org/ 412-235-1950.

submissions in all genres for fledgling literary magazine curated by members of the Hour After Happy Hour Writing Workshop. afterhappyhourreview.com THE NEW YINZER. Seeking original essays about literature, music, TV or film, & also essays generally about Pittsburgh. To see some examples, visit www. newyinzer.com & view the current issue. Email all pitches, submissions & inquiries to newyinzer@gmail.com. OLD ECONOMY VILLAGE. Seeking vendors to sell plants & products at the annual Garden Mart. For more info & registration, call or email c-mdemars@pa.gov. Ambridge. 724-266-4500 x 114. PITTSBURGH ARTISTS AGAINST FRACKING. Seeking artists for group exhibition. 1/3 of proceeds benefit Protect Our Parks, a grassroots organization committed to keeping fracking out of County Parks. Bring 1 - 2 pieces to Garfield Artworks on Tuesday, April 1st. 6-8pm. Bob Ziller for more info. www.protectparks.org 412-606-1220. PITTSBURGH WATERCOLOR SOCIETY. Seeking entries for 68th Annual International Aqueous Open exhibition. www.pittsburgh watercolorsociety.com THREE RIVERS COMMUNITY FOUNDATION’S

PITTSBURGH’S MOST

[VOLUNTEER OPPORTUNITY]

NCJW SPRING DESIGNER DAYS

At NCJW Spring Designer Days, an annual project of the Pittsburgh chapter of the National Council of Jewish Women, bargain-hunters can find deals on used designer clothing, while helping to support the NCJW’s many programs. Help is needed in a variety of capacities during the event, held April 24-27, at Home Consignments, in Swissvale. Volunteers receive a $10 gift certificate to use at the sale. Call 412-421-6118 or visit www.ncjwpgh.org.

ASSOCIATED ARTISTS OF PITTSBURGH NEW MEMBER SCREENING. Open to artists 18 or over working & living within a 150-mile radius of Pgh. Applications for video, installation, & other largescale works must be submitted by 4pm, April 3 to Unit 102, 100 43rd Street, Lawrenceville. Applications & full detail available at www.aapgh.org Ice House Studios, Lawrenceville. 412-682-0348. BOYD COMMUNITY CENTER. Seeking vendors for Gardenfest & Artist Market. info@boydcommunitycenter.org O’Hara. 412-828-8566 x 19. THE HOUR AFTER HAPPY HOUR REVIEW. Seeking

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TEENS 4 CHANGE GRANT PROGRAM. Accepting proposals for youth-led projects or projects designed specifically for youth that promote social change including disability rights, LGBTQ rights, peace/human rights, racial justice, more. Grants will range from $250-$2,000. trcfwpa.org/grants/grantapplications 412-243-9250. VERONA CREATIVE MARKETPLACE. Seeking vendors for marketplace in June. Space is limited. Call for more information. 412-721-0943. WASHINGTON PA FILM FESTIVAL. Seeking films 90 min. or less. Complete rules & entry form at www.highlandridgecdc. org. 724-678-4225.

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EXCLUSIVE GENTLEMAN’S CLUB 412.904.3191 1620 PENNSYLVANIA AVE. 5 blocks from Casino - Off of Beaver Ave. “The Penthouse Club” and 3-Key logo are registered trademarks of General Media Communications, Inc., and are used under license.

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Savage Love {BY DAN SAVAGE}

READERS: A crowd of smart, engaged students packed a theater for Savage Love Live at Centenary College of Louisiana last week. Centenary students submitted more Qs than I could possibly A, so here are some bonus answers to questions I didn’t get to. How does a young person learning to accept their sexuality come to terms with losing the unconditional love of their family?

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You can’t lose something you never had. You weren’t aware of the conditional nature of your family’s love until you accepted yourself and asked your family to do the same. That’s how you discovered their love for you came with at least one condition: You had to be straight or be closeted. Now here’s a paradox for you: You lost the illusion of your family’s unconditional love when you came out, but coming out could win you their unconditional love in the end. Stand your ground, demand their love and respect — and your family, like the families of so many other queers, may grow to love and accept you for who you really are. It could take some time. But one day, you may be able to look back and see that your sexuality didn’t cost you your family’s unconditional love — it won it for you. What do you do when your male friend, who is already in a relationship (engaged), wants to have sex with you, but lets you know via social media? You block him or fuck him — or you fuck him and then block him. How can you have a conversation with a man about his sexual performance without making him feel like you’re criticizing him and without giving him the impression that you’re unsatisﬁed? By opening with a compliment, closing with a compliment, and making sure everything that comes between your opening compliment and closing compliment is also a compliment. Do you think “butch” lesbians are really transgender? Nope. Are you really anti-transgender? Nope. How can we be sure that having an “open” relationship won’t hurt our relationship? You can’t be sure that openness won’t hurt your relationship. But you can’t be sure that closedness won’t hurt your relationship, either. Yes, sometimes relationships end after people open them up — and openness gets the blame, even if it had nothing to do with the breakup. But plenty of tightly closed/strictly monogamous relationships end every day. It’s possible that many of those failed monogamous relationships could’ve been saved by some openness, a little leeway or embracing monogamishamy. Can you pray the gay away? A girl can pray for whatever she wants.

Can it hurt a long-term, monogamous relationship if you had multiple sexual partners/experiences before? How do you feel about sleeping around before marriage? People who marry young — people who are likelier to have married without having had multiple partners/experiences — divorce at much higher rates than more experienced people who marry later in life. Sleeping around before marriage seems to help people figure out what they want. Or it helps them figure out whether what they were taught to want is actually what they do want. And someone who knows what they want is likelier to keep any long-term, monogamous commitments that they make. Could I possibly be allergic to sperm? You could! Possibly! Dr. Debby Herbenick, while filling in for me on Savage Love Letter of the Day duties recently, covered the topic of why some people are sensitive — sensitive to the point of explosive diarrhea — to semen: “Prostaglandins are substances made by the body and that the body is sensitive to. Semen contains prostaglandins — and prostaglandins can have a laxative effect on people. Related: If you’ve ever felt a little loosey-goosey right before getting your period, that’s also thanks to prostaglandins (which spike just before your period, because the prostaglandins get the uterine muscles to contract, which then helps to shed the lining of the uterus, resulting in a menstrual period). Prostaglandins are also used to induce labor. So why don’t more semen swallowers find themselves running to the bathroom post-blowjob? Fortunately, we’re not all so sensitive to prostaglandins. I don’t know why most people aren’t extra-sensitive, but fortunately most of us aren’t, or there would probably be a lot less swallowing in the world.” Dr. Herbenick is a research scientist at Indiana University, a sexual-health educator at the Kinsey Institute and a frequent Savage Love guest expert — and you can and should follow her on Twitter @DebbyHerbenick. What is the difference between a Methodist and a Baptist? There’s no difference between a Methodist and a Baptist, according to my Catholic grandma. They’re both going to hell. What is the percentage of people who find male partners with the perfect penis? Perfect size, shape, length, girth, texture, head-to-shaft differential? There’s no research out there on this issue — no one has thought to pick the brains of folks who have successfully landed male partners with perfect penises — and I’m not sure such studies would even be possible. Penis preferences are subjective: One person’s perfect penis is the next person’s imperfect penis. And isn’t the person to whom a particular penis is attached at least as important as the size, texture, head-to-shaft differential, etc. of any given penis? Imagine if you made it your life’s work to locate the world’s perfect penis, only to discover that the penis is attached to Bill O’Reilly. Could that penis still be called perfect? This week on the Lovecast, Dan chats with a panel of sex workers: savagelovecast.com.

SEND IN YOUR QUESTIONS TO MAIL@SAVAGELOVE.NET AND FIND THE SAVAGE LOVECAST (DAN’S WEEKLY PODCAST) AT THESTRANGER.COM/SAVAGE

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 03.26/04.02.2014

FOR THE WEEK OF

Free Will Astrology

03.26-04.02

{BY ROB BREZSNY}

ARIES (March 21-April 19): I have coined a new word just for your horoscope this week. It’s “zex,” short for “zen sex.” Zex is a kind of sex in which your mind is at rest, empty of all thoughts. You breathe slowly and calmly, move slowly and calmly, grunt and moan slowly and calmly. You are completely detached from the sensual pleasure you are experiencing. You have no goals other than the intention to be free of all goals. Zex is the ONLY variety of sex I recommend for you right now, Aries. APRIL FOOL! I lied. Zex may be ﬁne to practice at any other time, but not these days. The style of sex you need most is exuberant, unbridled, expansive and even zany.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20):

In Somalia, there’s a law that forbids you from putting your used chewing gum on your nose and walking around in public. Fortunately, you don’t live there, so it’s ﬁne if you want to do that. In fact, I encourage you to go right ahead. To do so would be right in alignment with the cosmic omens. APRIL FOOL! I lied. You should deﬁnitely not take yourself too seriously this week; you should look for opportunities to playfully lose your dignity and razz the status quo. But there are craftier ways to do that than by sticking gum on your nose.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20):

Tata Massage is a salon in San Francisco that provides an unusual beauty treatment: faceslapping. The Thai masseuse named Tata claims to be improving your complexion as she smacks your cheeks and forehead with her hands. She also does “massage boxing,” in which she administers health-giving punches to your body with her ﬁsts. Is there a comparable service available where you live? I highly recommend it. APRIL FOOL! I lied. Here’s the truth: You should be

absolutely ﬁrm that you won’t tolerate whacks and wallops — including the psychological kind — even if they are supposedly good for you.

CANCER (June 21-July 22):

N ow would be an excellent time to launch a new tradition or instigate a fresh trend or make a beautiful thing that will last for a thousand years. I’m talking about an amazing marvel or useful innovation or unique creation that will improve the lives of countless humans all over the planet for the next 40 generations. APRIL FOOL! I was exaggerating a bit. Producing something that will last a thousand years is too ambitious. How about if you simply launch a new tradition or instigate a fresh trend or create a beautiful thing that will last for the rest of your long life — an amazing marvel or useful innovation or unique creation that will continue to teach and amuse you all along the way?

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22):

Your patron saint for the next three months is surrealistic artist Salvador Dali. Regard him as

get your yoga on!

your muse and role model. In fact, you might want to spout some of his famous declarations as if they were your own. Start with these: 1. “The only difference between me and a madman is that I am not mad.” 2. “I do not take drugs; I am drugs.” 3. “Mistakes are almost always of a sacred nature.” 4. “Have no fear of perfection. You’ll never reach it.” APRIL FOOL! I lied. Salvador Dali is your patron saint, role model and muse for only the next 14 days, not three months.

sity, you should attend a party every day in the coming week. Dance ecstatically, make love abundantly and expose yourself to previously unknown pleasures. Feast on a wide variety of food and drink that introduces you to novel tastes. Make sure you experience record levels of sensual enjoyment, nonstop excitement and dynamic socializing. APRIL FOOL! I’m exaggerating, although just a little. Try doing a 70-percent version of what I advised.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22):

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19):

You know how Jesus could supposedly turn water into wine? Well, St. Brigit, a sixth-century Irish nun, was legendary for an even greater miracle. When visitors came to her monastery in Kildare, she changed her old bathwater into beer for them to drink. I think there’s a good chance you will develop that precise talent sometime soon. APRIL FOOL! I kind of lied. You won’t really possess St. Brigit’s supernatural power. However, you will have an uncanny ability to make transmutations that are almost as dramatic as changing bathwater to beer.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22):

The band Rush was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame last May. Guitarist Alex Lifeson delivered an unusual acceptance speech. For the two minutes he spoke, he repeated one word endlessly: “blah.” “Blah-blah-blah,” he began. “Blah-blah-blah blah-blah blah-blah.” Many hand gestures and shifting vocal inﬂections accompanied his rap, always in support of variations on “blah-blah.” This is the spirit you should bring to all of your important conversations in the coming week. APRIL FOOL! I lied. In fact, the opposite is true. It’s crucial for you to speak very precisely and articulately in the coming week. Say exactly what you mean. Don’t rely on meaningless bullshit like “blah-blah.”

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21):

When a human embryo begins to develop in the womb, the very first body part that appears is — can you guess? — the anus. This scientific fact led the witty commentators at QI.com to declare that “Every human being starts out as an asshole.” They were making a joke, of course, hinting that every one of us has an unattractive quality or two that make us at least a little bit of a jerk. That’s the bad news, Scorpio. The good news is that you now have an unprecedented chance to transform the asshole aspects of your personality. APRIL FOOL! I lied. You’re not an asshole, not even a little bit. But it is true that the coming weeks will be an excellent time to try to fix or at least modulate your least attractive qualities.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21):

To be in strict compliance with cosmic neces-

Lifehacker.com has a step-by-step guide to set up your home as a command center where you can pursue your plans for world domination. The article provides advice on how to build a surveillance system, encrypt your computer ﬁles and prepare for black-outs and weather emergencies. Do it, Capricorn! Get the lowdown at http:// bit.ly/secretlair. APRIL FOOL! I lied. You don’t really need to create a high-tech fortress. But you would be wise to make your home into more of an ultra-comfortable, super-inspiring sanctuary — a place where you feel so safe and strong and smart that you will always have total power over yourself, and never feel driven to fulﬁll anyone else’s standards of success but your own.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18):

The planetary omens suggest that you need to experience all possible flavors of Doritos corn chips. Here’s the problem: The place where you live offers only a limited range. That’s why I urge you to drop everything and travel to Japan, which is the world leader in Dorito variety. There you can sample coconut-curry-flavored Doritos, along with fried chicken, corn soup, smoked bacon, tuna and mayonnaise, and many others. Buy your plane ticket now! APRIL FOOL! I lied. The truth is, you will benefit from communing with a wide variety of sensations and experiences and ideas in many areas of your life, not just Doritos.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20):

According to a survey by Public Policy Polling, 4 percent of the population believes that “shape-shifting reptilian people control our world by taking on human form and gaining political power to manipulate our societies.” My own research suggests that 62 percent of those believers are Pisceans. Are you one? If so, now is a good time to intensify your ﬁght against the shape-shifting reptilian people. APRIL FOOL! I lied. In fact, I strongly encourage you N OT to feed your paranoid delusions and fearful reveries. This should be a time when you bolster your positive fantasies, constructive visions and inspiring dreams. Describe what you’d be like if you were the opposite of yourself. Write Freewillastrology.com.

GO TO REALASTROLOGY.COM TO CHECK OUT ROB BREZSNY’S EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES AND DAILY TEXT-MESSAGE HOROSCOPES. THE AUDIO HOROSCOPES ARE ALSO AVAILABLE BY PHONE AT 1-877-873-4888 OR 1-900-950-7700

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 03.26/04.02.2014

FOR INFORMATION ON HOW TO PLACE A CLASSIFIEDS ADVERTISEMENT, CALL 412.316.3342 EXT. 189

WORK 57 + STUDIES 58 + LIVE 58 + SERVICES 59 + WELLNESS 60

WORK HELP WANTED $1,000 WEEKLY!! MAILING BROCHURES From Home. Helping home workers since 2001. Genuine Opportunity. No Experience required. Start Immediately www. mailingmembers.com (AAN CAN) Advertise Here Today! Help Wanted! make extra money in our free ever popular homemailer program, includes valuable guidebook! Start immediately! Genuine! 1-888-292-1120 www. easywork-fromhome. com (AAN CAN)

WANTED! 36 PEOPLE to Lose Weight. 30-day money back guarantee. Herbal Program. Also opportunity to earn up to $1,000 monthly. 1-800-492-4437

www.healthnutrition pittsburgh.com

ARTISTS

HELP WANTED Africa, Brazil Work/ Study! Change the lives of others while creating a sustainable future. 6, 9, 18 month programs available. Apply today! www.OneWorldCenter.org (269) 591-0518 info@OneWorldCenter.org (AAN CAN) Your Classified Ad printed in more than 100 alternative papers like this one for just $1,150! aTo run your ad in papers with a total circulation exceeding 6.9 million copies per week, call City Paper Classifieds at 412-316-3342. No adult ads. (AAN CAN) Advertise your GOODS in City Paper and reach over 300,000 readers per month. Now that’s SERVICE!

Wellness is a state that combines health & happiness. Make City Paper readers happy by advertising your health services in our “Wellness” section.

Your ad could be here

Call For Artists

APPLY TODAY: Application Deadline May 15, 2014 www.publicallies.org/apply

Craftsmen’s Guild Of Pittsburgh. A Fair In The Park 45th Annual Fine Art And Craft Show. Applications Available Online At afairinthepark.org Application Deadline 4/10/14 New Members Screening April 5th, Pittsburgh Center For The Arts. Visit craftsmensguild.org For Information.

2014 WHERE: Hyundai Club West Lounge WHEN: Thurs. April 10: 2pm-8pm Park at the Carnegie Science Center for $6 or take the “T” to Allegheny Station

412.316.3342

LIFE INSURANCE COMPANY

(20) Regional Road Positions at .50CPM Excellent Home Time, Benefits, 401k

Apply online at ecmtransport.com or call us at 800-548-7379, ext. 7506

Must be at least 17 years old by September 2, 2014 Possess a high school diploma/G.E.D. by September 2, 2014 Passionate about the issues facing Southwestern PA

$1,400/month Living Stipend Health Care Coverage Childcare Reimbursement Training and Professional Development Opportunites $5,550 AmeriCorps Education Award upon successful completion of program

The Miles Group Now Hiring Agents & Manager!!

(10) Local Driver Positions at $19 per hour

10-month Public Allies program runs from 9/2014 - 6/2015

BENEFITS TO PUBLIC ALLIES

Lincoln Heritage

Regional Road & Local Drivers

WE ARE LOOKING FOR THE NEXT GENERATION OF LEADERS -WILL YOU ACCEPT THE CHALLENGE?

Call 412.316.3342 to advertise in City Paper.

Find a new place to “LIVE” in City Paper!

ECM Transport is NOW HIRING

“ Everybody can be great... becuase anybody can serve. You don’t have to have a college degree to serve. You don’t have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love.” -Martin Luther King, Jr.

• Make $500 a week to start. • The Miles Group is a Million Dollar a Month Agency. • We will help you get your insurance license, will train. • You can write your own paycheck. • First Year Agents making over 100K! • Get paid Daily $$ • Proven Lead System. • Competitive group benefits: life, health, and dental for you and your family. Call or email resumes NOW! Darrell Warden Hiring Manager 412-583-8763 wardeninsurance@aol.com

Concessions Catering Kitchen Ticket Takers Ticket Sellers Seat Attendants Maid/Porter Club Attendants Event Security Merchandise Guest Services Elevator Operators Suite Attendants

www.tmilesgroup.com

Gain valuable stadium operations experience in a fast-paced, exciting environment. Come to the Heinz Field Job Fair to apply for event day positions for Pittsburgh Steelers games, Pittsburgh Panthers games, concerts and other exciting events!

DISCLAIMER: ALTHOUGH MOST ADVERTISING IN PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER ARE LEGITIMATE BUSINESSES, PRIOR TO INVESTING MONEY OR USING A SERVICE LOCATED WITHIN ANY SECTION OF THE CLASSIFIEDS WE SUGGEST THE FOLLOWING PROCEDURE: ASK FOR REFERENCES & BUSINESS LICENSE NUMBER, OR CALL/WRITE: THE BETTER BUSINESS BUREAU AT 412-456-2700 / 300 SIXTH AVE., STE 100-UL / PITTSBURGH, PA 15222. REMEMBER: IF IT SOUNDS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE, IT USUALLY IS! N E W S

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LIVE REAL ESTATE SERVICES ALL AREAS - ROOMMATES.COM. Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: http:// www.Roommates.com. (AAN CAN) Find your next place to “WORK” in City Paper!

STUDIES SOUTH FOR RENT

CLINICAL STUDIES

Our readers look for an overall feeling of well being on a daily basis and they are looking for businesses like yours! Advertise in City Papers “Wellness” section.

Find your next place to “WORK” in City Paper!

Find your next place to “LIVE” in City Paper!

Find a new place to “LIVE” in City Paper!

Looking to ﬁll an open position? Advertise in City Paper’s “WORK” section and reach over 250,000 people who read CP classiﬁeds!

NOW HIRING FOR

Display Sales Representative Sell ads, web, radio and more. Be a multi-media salesperson. If you have what it takes to sell, send your resume to Jessie Brock: jbrock@steelcitymedia.com NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE! EOE 58

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 03.26/04.02.2014

CALL TODAY!

412.363.1900 CTRS

SmokING STUDY

STORAGE ABC SELF STORAGE25 x 60 storage or workspace $500 plus taxes, 12.5x40 $250 plus taxes. (2) locations Mckees Rocks & South Side. 412-403-6069

ENDOMETRIOSIS? CONSTIPATION?

University of Pittsburgh

Newly renovated Apartment in Mount Washington overlooking city. 5 bedrooms, 2 full baths, living room, kitchen, w/d hookups. Stove and refrigerator. $1,800 per Month gas and water included. No pets. Call John 412-580-6550

ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE WANTED!

Smokers who want to try new cigarettes that may or may not lead to reduced smoking are wanted for a research study. This is NOT a treatment or smoking cessation study. Compensation will be provided. For more information please call The Nicotine & Tobacco Research Lab at

412-624-9999

There is light at the end of the tunnel.

Steel City Media is seeking F/T A.E. FOR WRRK and WLTJ radio. 2 yrs min. sales experience, possess excellent verbal skills & a self-starter. Requires own vehicle and auto insurance. Submit resume or email: Steel City Media, Attn: Chris Kohan, 650 Smithfield Street, Suite # 2200. PGH., PA 15222 or c.kohan@steelcitymedia.com No phone calls please. EOE.

Find your next job in the City Paper’s “WORK” section.

SERVICES

SCRATCH THAT

Ink Well {BY BEN TAUSIG}

AUTO SERVICES

ADOPTION

CASH FOR CARS: Any Car/Truck. Running or Not! Top Dollar Paid. We Come To You! Call For Instant Offer: 1-888-420-3808 www. cash4car.com (AAN CAN)

PREGNANT? THINKING OF ADOPTION? Talk with caring agency specializing in matching Birthmothers with Families Nationwide. LIVING EXPENSES PAID. Call 24/7 Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions. 866-413-6293. Void in Illinois/New Mexico/ Indiana (AAN CAN)

NAMASTE! Find a healthy balance of the mind, body and spirit with one of our massage therapists, yoga, or spa businesses!

FINANCIAL PROBLEMS with the IRS or State Taxes? Settle for a fraction of what you owe! Free face to face consultations with ofﬁces in your area. Call 888608-3016

ACROSS

53. Coin with the same 1. “I’ve never heard name as a dynasty of that person” 54. Obey Bob Barker, 4. “Only You” new in a way wave duo, as known 57. Manner in the U.K. 61. Song, as it were 9. Alec Baldwin’s 64. Blown-up, makeformer afﬁliation believe sous-chef? 14. Geologist’s unit 67. Prohibition 15. Heaters 68. It might give 16. Garlic sauce in Guy you a gut feeling Fieri’s unfortunate “Tex 69. All-male nude Wasabi’s Fish Tacos” thing, perhaps 17. Caustic stuff 70. “Go, Ronaldinho!” 18. Huge fan of 71. Classy gals spells, conjuring, 72. Put on the books and anything 73. Domain name and everything ending available to broom-related? pornographic sites 20. Bolivian city named by conquistadors 22. Driver on “Girls” 1. It might get pumped 23. Sushi seaweed 2. Patrick Ewing or 24. Important Patrick Ewing, Jr., considerations in Cy in college Young Award voting 3. Occupy Wall 26. Joint production? Street target 28. What happened, 4. “Holy cow!” perhaps, after 5. Mp4 relative “Tower Heist” failed 6. Sixth Greek letter, to be nominated though it seems like for Best Picture? it might be the last 34. Time ___ 7. How fewer 35. Bond villain and fewer albums named Julius are released 36. Rakim’s partner 8. Org. that in old-school hip-hop investigated SeaWorld 39. Devoured 9. Burning ___ 42. PIN pad device 10. Instruction 43. What’s in the room next to an X 44. Name used while 11. Bringing a pointing a cane bottle of water 45. Matches through security, e.g. 47. Fish in Guy Fieri’s 12. Damon unfortunate “Tex Albarn band Wasabi’s Fish Tacos” 13. Bank based 48. Task in the pit in New York after a blowout? 19. Apple-on52. Sit or rom follower the-desk option

DOWN

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21. Abstract artist Jean 25. Barrett who played on the only great Pink Floyd album [*ducks*] 27. Sanctuary for bikes or rakes 28. Tragic war stat 29. In the direction of, formally 30. Tries to seem big 31. Trailing behind 32. Rourke’s “The Wrestler” costar 33. Classic Samberg-Timberlake “SNL” song 37. Masked scavenger 38. “Master and Commander”-era boat 40. Hobby vehicle for Donald Rumsfeld (seriously) 41. Fire obsessive, casually 46. “Babe” location

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49. Palindromic plus-sized model 50. Scallopini piece 51. Response to a dad joke, say 54. One might have TBA listed on it 55. Typewriting type size 56. One of trillions in a single human body 58. Subject heading abbr. 59. Genesis venue 60. PBS show with episodes about tornadoes and catacombs and the like 62. Powdery mineral residue 63. Lego competitor 65. Word on a towel for couples who I guess couldn’t ﬁnd different colored towels 66. Jean-___ Picard {LAST WEEK’S ANSWERS}

Place your Classified advertisment in City Paper. Call 412.316.3342

REHEARSAL

CLASSES AIRLINE CAREERS begin here – Get trained as FAA certiﬁed Aviation Technician. Housing and Financial aid for qualiﬁed students. Job placement assistance. Call Aviation Institute of Maintenance 800-7251563 (AAN CAN) Place your Classified advertisment in City Paper. Call 412.316.3342

Rehearsal Space starting @ $150/mo Many sizes available, no sec deposit, play @ the original and largest practice facility, 24/7 access, 412-403-6069 Looking for your next tenant? Advertise in City Paper’s “LIVE” section and reach over 250,000 people who read CP classiﬁeds! Call 412316-3342 TODAY!

Advertise Here Today! Our readers look for an overall feeling of well being on a daily basis and they are looking for businesses like yours! Advertise in City Papers “Wellness” section.

ADOPT

A loving, financially secure, safe happy home awaits your newborn.

See what our clients are saying In the past two years, I’ve both the been very satisfied with ponse res design of our ads and the e to hav I they evoke. When I know in ts jec sub advertise for research ly ate edi the 24-35 age group, I imm er. think of using the City Pap

— Mary Beth Tedesco, CRNP, University of Pittsburgh

1-877-492-8811 Expenses Paid Karen

OFFICIAL ADVERTISEMENT

blogh.pghcitypaper.com

Work yourself into a lather. Rinse. Repeat.

THE BOARD OF PUBLIC EDUCATION OF THE SCHOOL DISTRICT OF PITTSBURGH Sealed proposals shall be deposited at the, Administration Building, Room 251, 341 South Bellefield Avenue, Pittsburgh, Pa., 15213, on April 29, 2014, until 2:00 P.M., local prevailing time for: • District Wireless Equipment Installation at Various Schools Project Manual and Drawings will be available for purchase on March 26, 2014, at Modern Reproductions (412-488-7700) 127 McKean Street, Pittsburgh, Pa., 15219 between 9:00 A.M. and 4:00 P.M. The cost of the Project Manual Documents is nonrefundable. Project details and dates are described in each project manual. We are an equal rights and opportunity school district. Parent Hotline: 412-622-7920 www.pps.k12.pa.us

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WELLNESS MIND & BODY Get the most for your money in CP Classifieds. We get great results. Call 412.316.3342

STAR

MIND & BODY NAMASTE! Find a healthy balance of the mind, body and spirit with one of our massage therapists, yoga, or spa businesses! Xie LiHong’s

Free Table Shower w/60min 1310 E. Carson St. 412-488-3951

WELLNESS CENTER

Downtown Massage

3225 W. Liberty Ave. • Dormont

$40/hr 322 Fourth Ave. (1st Floor) Open 24 hours/7 days a week

412-319-7530 4972 Library Road, Bethel Park

412-595-8077

Walk-Ins Welcome 412-561-1104

MIND & BODY

Therapeutic Massage Therapy Relief is just a call away. Our licensed professional staff can assist with Fibromyalgia, Circulation, Low Back Pain, Muscle Spasms.

Your ad could be here

412-441-1185

BAD BACK OR NECK PAIN?

Bring this ad in and get a discount 7621 Saltsburg Rd Plum Boro, PA 15239

412-798-1700

Caring Help for Addiction

• Experienced, caring therapy and medical staff. • Private, professional setting. • Downtown office near public transportation and parking.

Immediate openings including pregnant opiatedependent women. We accept Highmark, Fayette & Westmoreland County Medicaid (VBH) and self paying clients. A PA-licensed facility. www.alliedaddictionrecovery.com

412.316.3342

Xin Sui Bodyworks

Grand Opening

Forever Relaxation

SUBOXONE TREATMENT

412.246.8965, ext. 9

Shadyside Location

Grand Opening

massage Trigger point Deep tissue Swedish Reﬂexology BLOOMFIELD 412.683.2328

TWO LOCATIONS 1190 Washington Pike, Bridgeville

(in Hillcrest Shopping Center)

Chinese Bodyworks

Chinese Bodywork

Therapy

Aming’s Massage Therapy (across from Eat n’ Park)

Superior Chinese Massage

412-401-4110

MIND & BODY

$49.99/ hour Free Vichy Shower with 1HR or more body work (Body shower and Body Scrub) Essential Oil used at no extra charge 2539 Monroeville Blvd Ste 200 Monroeville, Pa 15146 Next to Twin Fountain Plaza 412-335-6111

MUSICIANS LEGAL SERVICE REHEARSAL VEHICLES ADOPTION ANNOUNCEMENTS ENTERTAINERS STUDIO SPACE Advertise your GOODS in City Paper and reach over 300,000 readers per month. Now that’s SERVICE!

Judy’s Oriental Massage GRAND OPENING!

FULL BODY MASSAGE $40/hr

$10 Coupon with this ad

4125 William Penn Hwy, Murrysville, PA 15668 Across the street from Howard Hanna’s

724-519-2950

TIGER SPA

GRAND OPENING!!! Best of the Best in Town! 420 W. Market St., Warren, OH 44481 76 West, 11 North, 82 West to Market St. 6 lights and make a left. 1/4 mile on the left hand side.

Open 9am-12 midnight 7 days a week! Licensed Professionals Dry Sauna, Table Shower, Deep Tissue, Swedish

330-373-0303 Credit Cards Accepted

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 03.26/04.02.2014

JADE Wellness Center

Squirrel Hill Ofﬁce

Premiere Outpatient Drug and Alcohol Treatment

SUBOXONE TREATMENT

1900 Murray Ave, Ste. 301 Pittsburgh, PA 15217

Family Owned and Operated Treating: Alcohol, Opiates, Heroin and More

WE SPECIALIZE IN

Cranberry Ofﬁce

• SUBOXONE • VIVITROL

Painkiller and Heroin Addiction Treatment

Now Open!

2624 Rochester Rd. Cranberry Twp., PA 16066

Please Call: 412-465-1050

Low Self Pay Rate

New Leaf Recovery Services Most insurances Accepted Including Access Card

www.newleafsuboxone.com

- a new once a month injection for alcohol and opiate dependency

• Group and Individualized Therapy • New Partial Hospitalization Program

NO WAIT LIST Accepts all major insurances and medical assistance

Let Us Help You Today!

MONROEVILLE, PA

412-380-0100 www.myjadewellness.com

Beaver County

Methadone - 724-857-9640 Suboxone - 724-448-9116 info@ptsa.biz M U S I C

We treat: ~ Opiate Addiction ~ Heroin Addiction ~ And Other Drug

• INSURANCES ACCEPTED • DAY & EVENING APPOINTMENTS AVAILABLE CLOSE TO SOUTH HILLS, WASHINGTON, CANONSBURG, CARNEGIE, AND BRIDGEVILLE

Methadone - 412-255-8717 Suboxone - 412-281-1521 info@summitmedical.biz

412-434-4798

SUBOXONE

Pittsburgh

TA S T E

Call Erin at:

Health Services

Help is Available!

Start Today! Lose 25 pounds by Valentine’s Day! Only $99 per month!

IMMEDIATE APPOINTMENTS AVAILABLE

Problem with Opiates? Prescription Medication or Heroin?

N E W S

Weight Loss Center of Pittsburgh

Next Day Appointments Available

412-221-1091

info@freedomtreatment.com

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Addictions

LOCATIONS IN: Downtown Pgh, PA Bridgeville, PA ~ Butler, PA

IMMEDIATE OPENINGS

412.434.6700

www.ThereToHelp.org We Accept: - UPMC for You - United Health And Many Others +

C L A S S I F I E D S

COURT OF PUBLIC OPINION

Sick of politics as usual? Spend your day watching neighbors try to knock each other off the ballot {BY CHRIS POTTER} IT’S AN IMAGE torn out of your high-school civics textbook: the

earnest American citizen canvassing for neighbors to sign an election petition. But there’s another part of the democratic process: the part where some other neighbor ﬁles a lawsuit to have those petitions invalidated, ending a political campaign almost before it gets started. American democracy may have been founded by people petitioning government with their gripes … but it’s practiced partly by people griping about each other’s petitions. That was the business before Common Pleas Court Judge Joseph James on March 21. As happens every election season in Allegheny County, James hears objections to election petitions while playing a variety of roles: jurist, handwritinganalyst, observational humorist. “Take it easy on those tables,” James jests when Jerry Chiappinelli, treasurer of the Penn Hills Democratic Committee, sets down a metallic briefcase ﬁlled with challenged petitions. “They’re antiques.”

Here’s a candidate who didn’t sign his own petition … and ended up one signature short. Here’s the woman who got all the signatures she needed, without realizing until too late that one of her signatories had already signed another petition in the same race. Then there’s the Democratic committee candidate who got bounced because his petition was signed by a member of the Constitution Party. (“You don’t see that every day,” James observed.) In addition to Penn Hills — where Chiappinelli wins 14 of 18 challenges — James also hears disputes from the city’s North Side and South Hills, where politicos tied to Mayor Bill Peduto are causing headaches for neighborhood leaders like Beechview’s Pete Wagner, the longtime chair of the city’s 19th Ward Democratic Committee. A former Wagner ally, Anthony Coghill, has recruited a slate of candidates to challenge his one-time mentor: The last time that happened, four years ago, resentment between the two camps nearly boiled over into a physical altercation in an elementary-school parking lot.

A COMMITTEE RACE IS POLITICS IN ITS PUREST — WHICH IS TO SAY ITS MOST AGGRAVATING — FORM. Probably every judge can count on an appreciative audience for his courtroom jokes. But there’s additional reason to welcome James’ wry commentary today: Watching a judge compare signatures on petitions to those on voter-registration cards is not exactly the stuff of courtroom drama. And this year’s proceedings are especially tedious, focused as they are on bids to join the county’s Democratic committee. Committeepeople are a party’s foot soldiers, responsible for turning out voters on Election Day. They also vote in the party’s pre-primary endorsements, which can be very helpful to candidates in other races that voters never think about — like judicial contests. Committee races are the kind that don’t matter until they suddenly do … like when a committeeperson allegedly gets, or loses, a government post because of political connections. Or when a committee endorsement determines who will be hearing your divorce case five years from now. And to run for a committee spot, all you need is 10 signatures — one of which can be your own! — from people qualified to vote for the office you’re seeking. All those 10 people have to do, meanwhile, is print and then sign their name, enter their address, and the date. Yet, all morning long and into the afternoon, James is compelled to strike petitions — often with a weary sigh.

For most of us, the amazing thing is that anyone cares enough to run at all, or to prevent someone else from running. But as big money crowds out everything else, these hyperlocal races are among the few political contests where an ordinary citizen can take on the powers that be. A committee race is politics in its purest — which is to say its most aggravating — form. And the results aren’t always pretty. National-level politics is ugly because you don’t really know the candidates, and while their campaign consultants can predict your voting behavior to 10 decimal places, they don’t really know you either. When local politics gets ugly, meanwhile, it’s usually because everyone knows each other all too well. But not always. Even Pittsburgh’s political culture can be full of surprises these days. Just ask the would-be committeeman from Beechview who saw his petition disallowed because his signatories included, as James jokes, “probably the only Republicans living in the 19th ward.” A moment later, James sees Wagner sitting in the back of the courtroom and asks, Where are all these GOP voters in Beechview coming from? “Things are changing,” Wagner says. And they are, even here. C POT T ER@ P G HC I T Y PA P E R. C OM

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 03.26/04.02.2014

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