April 12, 2017 - Pittsburgh City Paper by Pittsburgh City Paper

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EVENTS 4.13 – 8pm SOUND SERIES: MARK EITZEL AND HOWE GELB The Warhol theater Co-presented with WYEP 91.3FM Free parking in The Warhol lot. Tickets $15/$12 members and students

4.20 – 6-10pm SENSORY-FRIENDLY AUTISM ACCEPTANCE DISCO Open to teens and their families from 6-8pm and 21+ after 8pm. Free parking in The Warhol lot. Tickets $15/$10 students & seniors, $5 Access/EBT card holder

4.21 – 5-9:30pm FACTORY SWING SHIFT The Factory Visit our hands-on underground studio to make art after dark during Factory Swing Shift. Free with museum admission

4.21 – 8pm GAB BONESSO WITH SPECIAL GUEST GENE COLLIER The Warhol theater Tickets $10/$8 members & students

The Andy Warhol Museum receives state arts funding support through a grant from the Pennsylvania Council on the Arts, a state agency funded by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania; the National Endowment for the Arts, a federal agency and The Heinz Endowments. Further support is provided by the Allegheny Regional Asset District.

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VOLUME 27 + ISSUE 15 VOL

[COVER STORY]

“I arrive two minutes late. He’s already drinking; she’s already being hit on by a shameless patron.” Read this and other tales from our annual City Paper bar crawl. PAGE 14

[MUSIC]

“We think we’re making rock music, but that campy, slightly musical-theater vibe always sneaks through.” PAGE 24

[EDITORIAL] Editor CHARLIE DEITCH News Editor REBECCA ADDISON Arts & Entertainment Editor BILL O’DRISCOLL Associate Editor AL HOFF Web Producer ALEX GORDON Staff Writers RYAN DETO, CELINE ROBERTS Music Writer MEG FAIR Interns JOHN HAMILTON, AMANI NEWTON, ALONA WILLIAMS

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“The rent in Polish Hill has gone up so much that it’s basically unattainable for us at this point.” PAGE 06

News 06 Views 11 Weird 12 Music 24 Arts 32 Events 37 Taste 41

Screen 45 Sports 47 Classifieds 49 Crossword 50 Astrology 52 Savage Love 53 The Last Word 54 NEWS

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“THE RENT IN POLISH HILL HAS GONE UP SO MUCH THAT IT’S BASICALLY UNATTAINABLE FOR US.”

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Last week, we tackled fake news with our media-literacy guide. Check out all of the stories online at www.pghcitypaper.com.

In a recent episode of Sound Bite, we learned how one chef is using mold to flavor foods and cure meats. Listen at www.pghcitypaper.com.

Bon Jovi visited the PPG Paint Arena in Pittsburgh last week.

{CP PHOTO BY JOHN HAMILTON}

Braiden Alan and Maya Guerin next to their nursery at 3447 Melwood Ave., in Polish Hill

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month for Braiden Alan and Maya Guerin. The couple is due to have a baby in early April, and they were busy preparing a section of their one-bedroom apartment in Polish Hill as a nursery. Then on March 22, their anxieties were ampliﬁed when they discovered an eviction notice on their door, giving them until the end of April to vacate. Alan, 37, has lived in the building at 3447 Melwood Ave. for more than eight years, and Guerin, 33, has been living with him for more than a year. Alan is a bartender at a hotel in the North Side, and Guerin works for a nonproﬁt after-school program. Their rent is $550 a month, which is comfortable for them considering their modest earnings and student-loan payments; the same goes for other current occupants of the six-unit building, some

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of whom are on ﬁxed monthly incomes of $1,000, while others work supporting families on a line cook’s salary. But with eviction looming, Alan, Guerin and the dozen other residents are looking at an

An eviction in Polish Hill shows affordable-housing issues go beyond neighborhoods like East Liberty and Lawrenceville {BY RYAN DETO} average rent in Polish Hill they can’t afford: between $1,000 and $1,100 a month, according to Pittsburgh-based apartmentsearch site Rent Jungle. Also, says Alan, vacancies are pretty rare in Polish Hill, meaning his new family will

most likely have to leave the neighborhood they consider home. “It’s one of those intangibles,” says Alan. “When you have been somewhere so long and you build your life around being in a certain place, you can’t just up and move to a different place and expect to have the same quality of life.” Polish Hill has mostly been off the Pittsburgh-housing-boom radar. But housing prices there have skyrocketed, and rents have steadily risen over the past few years. Also, private developers are taking notice, and residential construction projects are becoming a common sight in the neighborhood, increasing the anxieties of community groups who are waiting for Pittsburgh City Council to devote more resources to affordable housing. All of this is making many Polish Hill residents increasingly concerned that the neighborhood’s close-

knit character will slip from their grasp, carried away by the interests of propertyowners keen on making profits. The evicitions at Alan and Guerin’s building are happening because propertyowner Lawrenceville Holdings is selling it. After receiving the eviction notice, Alan and Guerin looked for apartments in Polish Hill, but say they found nothing in their price range that was nice enough to house a new baby. Still, Guerin says they are trying to find an upside. “We are trying to stay positive about this transition,” says Guerin. “We have to stay proactive; we are having a baby. But it’s a little disheartening when you [are used to] paying a certain amount, and you walk out into your community and realize this is not what it was two years or a year ago, and we can’t afford it.” Michael Mele, a data scientist at Rent Jungle, says Polish Hill, like other city neighborhoods near Downtown and Oakland, has seen monthly rents increase from a 2011 average of about $800 to between $1,000 and $1,100. Alan and Guerin decided to take the fight to the building’s owner, Lawrenceville Holdings. “When landlords start to [issue evictions], they just expect you to step aside,” says Alan. “They rely on the fact that poor people are used to stepping aside.” Alan and Guerin wrote a letter and made phone calls to Lawrenceville Holdings, requesting more time before being forced out. When Pittsburgh City Paper spoke to Mary Simmons, property manager at Lawrenceville Holdings on April 5, she said she had spoken with the soon-to-be owners of the building, who agreed to allow tenants at three units, including Alan and Guerin, to stay until the end of June. “We are not going to throw a pregnant woman out onto the street,” says Lawrenceville Holdings principal John Pergal. Tenants like Allyson Knights, who lives on the second floor with her 55-year-old roommate, who is disabled, wrote in an email to CP that Lawrenceville Holdings was prioritizing profits over the well-being of its residents. “You seem to care a great deal about your successful businesses, but it doesn’t seem like you cared about your long-term tenants and our building,” wrote Knights, addressing Lawrenceville Holdings. “I don’t think that you had our best interests in mind when you made that decision.” Knights feels fortunate that she was able to purchase a home in Polish Hill that she, her roommate and her dogs can move

into. But she says her roommate would have been left out in the cold without her help. “The rent in Polish Hill has gone up so much that it’s basically unattainable for us at this point,” wrote Knights. “There are very few rentals in Polish Hill, fewer still that are pet friendly, and it’s unlikely that [my roommate] would find one at all close to an affordable price range for her.” Alan is also critical of Lawrenceville Holdings for not investing in the property when the company owned it. He says that he did a lot of upkeep on his unit himself, and that no major renovations have been undertaken since Lawrenceville Holdings bought the property in 2010. Simmons says Lawrenceville Holdings has done some work to the building, like replacing the floor of one unit and painting another. But she says it’s difficult to do major fixes when units are occupied, and that there were fewer funds to renovate since rents were kept low. Pergal says he never intended to start a commotion with the sale. “The problem with that building, is the rents aren’t high enough to justify putting money it,” says Pergal. “It’s not like we are getting rich on this building, it is going to pay down a loan.” Lawrenceville Holdings purchased the building for $75,000, according to county records. Pergal says the company is selling the property for $326,000. Additionally, Pergal says the buyer (not yet identified) intends to do a complete remodel of the building. Simmons says the remodeled building will most likely cater to luxury-seeking clients. “That is what happens in hot neighborhoods,” she says. Simmons does regret how the evictions were initially announced and says she “wished [she] would have gone back to the buyer and asked for time for the tenants” before issuing the eviction notices. Still, she defends Lawrenceville Holdings’ actions because it placed all tenants on month-to-month leases eight months ago and informed them it intended to sell. Alexis Miller, former chair of the Polish Hill Civic Association and current housing advocate for the neighborhood, says there’s a place for private development in Polish Hill, like efforts to tackle blight, but that developers of large projects, like multiunit buildings, should reach out to the PHCA before moving forward. “It’s within developers’ best self-interests to meet with community groups,” says Miller, who believes developers can gain powerful allies in community members.

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“WE ARE TRYING TO STAY POSITIVE ABOUT THIS TRANSITION.”

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Patrick McCabe & The Wild West North Film Screening Series Join CMOA and the University of Pittsburgh Film Studies program for a three-part screening series of films by Neil Jordan. Irish novelist Patrick McCabe, who wrote The Butcher Boy and Breakfast on Pluto, leads a conversation after each film. Your ticket includes a free copy of The Butcher Boy, signed by McCabe, and can be purchased at cmoa.org.

Still from Breakfast on Pluto, 2005, Courtesy of Sony Pictures Classics

April 14, 7 p.m. Michael Collins April 15, 2 p.m. The Butcher Boy April 15, 5 p.m. Breakfast on Pluto

Funny Photo Contest

#CHQlaughs April 3–28, 2017 In partnership with the National Comedy Center

Show us what makes you laugh and win a weeklong all-inclusive vacation for two at Chautauqua! Submit your funny photos with #chqlaughs on Instagram, Facebook or Twitter, or our website. Enter today:

ciweb.org/contest *Exclusions apply. See contest for details.

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“But if they choose not to, then that raises questions on their intentions to actually better the neighborhood.” With Miller’s help, PHCA has been trying to get affordable-housing protections for Polish Hill to proactively address what she says is an impending housing boom. Statistics compiled by Miller show average home-sale prices have increased by more than 700 percent since 2010. Granted, prices in 2010 were very low (averaging $22,000), but Miller says this is still a cause for alarm, and points to a June 2016 home sale of $389,000 as proof. “It definitely adds a level of urgency to what we are doing,” says Miller. “It’s a super slow process for us. Look what can happen in just a couple years.” Miller says this growing housing market makes it difficult for PHCA to create equitable development, given its limited resources and volunteer staff. PHCA has been working for years with the Pittsburgh Urban Redevelopment Authority to create middle-income housing and retail spaces at a site on Dobson Street, but has struggled to find funding. Miller also says PHCA is trying to create a community land trust, where for-purchase homes maintain

affordability in perpetuity. But Miller believes the only way to really tackle affordable-housing issues in Polish Hill is through public policy. In May 2016, Pittsburgh’s Affordable Housing Task Force submitted a list of recommendations to City Council, which is still deciding which to pursue. The recommendation with the most backing is the creation of the $10 million Housing Opportunity Fund. Pittsburgh City Councilor Deb Gross, who represents Polish Hill, says many beneﬁts would be available if the city were to create that affordable-housing fund. “Local property-owners probably need to do some renovation on their properties,” says Gross. “Those funds can be used by local property-owners to keep their units on the affordable market.” However, a funding source for the Housing Opportunity Fund is still up for debate, and Gross says that without the fund, and more tenant protections, lowincome Pittsburghers will continue to be forced out of neighborhoods with hot housing markets. “We are going to continue to hear these stories until we ﬁgure that out,” says Gross. RYA N D E TO@ P G HC I T Y PA P E R. C OM

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FUNDING STREAMS A quick guide to who’s doing what to help the Pittsburgh Water Authority tackle its immediate lead threat and address high debt {BY REBECCA ADDISON} RIGHT NOW, Pittsburgh Mayor Bill Peduto is looking into restructuring the Pittsburgh Water and Sewer Authority amidst complaints of high lead levels in Pittsburgh drinking water. While many believe restructuring is necessary to right the ship, it’s clear that the authority’s problems cannot be fixed without significant financial investment. In fact, a large part of the problems PWSA is facing have been caused by decreased investment in water systems. Federal funding for water has declined since the 1980s, leaving state and municipal governments scrambling for resources as the costs of maintaining those systems rises. Like PWSA, many municipalities have undertaken cost-saving measures that put water quality at risk. Many have put off costly capital-improvement projects to address deteriorating infrastructure. And poor financial decisions have led to high debt. Often these factors translate to higher costs to consumers. Over the past three years, PWSA’s prices have risen by 20 percent. Pittsburgh stakeholders are currently working to address the financial viability of the authority by tackling immediate lead concerns and debt. Below is a rundown of what those involved in the issue are doing.

Government While addressing PWSA’s overall financial issues is a looming problem, local lawmakers are working to secure funding to address the water system’s immediate concerns

NEWS

— primarily, replacement of primar lead servic service lines to reduce high lead lev levels in Pittsburgh’s drinking drinki water. On March 29, state Sen. Wayne Fontana proposed Wayn package of legislation a pa allow local governto a ments to utilize government ment funding for watermen line replacement on lin private property. pr Right now, the city is replacing only those portions of o lateral lead service that are on public property because it says state law prohibits it from replacing prohib homeowners’ portions of home the llines. Fontana’s legislation would amend the latio state Municipal Authoristat ties Act to allow the city use public money to to u replace the private lateral replac lines, and it would help local government access the funds necessary for replacements, estimated to cost more than $25 million. This includes giving local governments access to state grants and loans. “Right now there’s a concern about lead in the water, so we want to give people peace of mind,” Fontana says. “It makes no sense not to do the lateral and the main [lines] at the same time. You can do it for a much cheaper price.”

$113 million in net interest payments and termination fees. “PWSA was hit particularly hard,” says Aly Shaw, an organizer with Pittsburgh’s Our Water Campaign. “They lost a little over $100 million and still have about $100 million in early-termination fees that they could potentially still pay.” ReFund America is a national organization that looks at how the Wall Street collapse during the ﬁnancial crisis contributes to public budget distress like that suffered by PWSA. ReFund America is working with governments in cities, l i ke Ba lt i m o re , wh o s e water system has been hit by predatory lending. Shaw hopes Pittsburgh will take a similar initiative. “We’ve looked into the potential of maybe recovering some of the money they lost through the ﬁnancial crisis from the toxic interestrate swaps they were sold,” Shaw says. “There have been other cities that have been able to renegotiate the swaps they currently have, and maybe even recoup some of the money they lost.”

be about half of the estimated cost of repairing the city’s lead service lines. This isn’t the ﬁrst time the international company has been sued; it’s currently also facing a lawsuit from the Michigan Attorney General, who claims Veolia is partly to blame for Flint’s water crisis.

Advocates Addressing PWSA’s larger ﬁnancial shortcomings, including massive debt, is key to the authority’s future. Today, PWSA faces more than $750 million in debt, and last year it spent $54 million servicing it. The current high debt can be traced to 2007, when the authority entered into a more than $400 million deal involving the swapping of variable-rate bonds to get lower interest rates. Such swaps have been criticized as a form of predatory lending. Unfortunately, this deal was made just before the global ﬁnancial crisis. According to ReFund America, between 2007 and 2014, the deal cost PWSA

“PWSA WAS HIT PARTICULARLY HARD.”

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PWSA Many don’t believe the cost of lead service line replacement should come from public funds. Last year, PWSA filed a lawsuit against Veolia Water North America, whom many blame for the city’s current lead levels. Veolia was contracted by PWSA in 2012 to cut costs at the authority. PWSA claims that while under contract, Veolia changed the chemical used to control corrosion in lead service lines without proper notification, and that the change resulted in lead leaching into the city’s water. “Despite receiving significant sums from PWSA, Veolia failed to perform as required. This failure has resulted in significant damages to PWSA and left the Authority in a worse position than when Veolia was engaged,” PWSA Chairman Alex Thomson said in a statement. PWSA is seeking damages not expected to exceed $12.5 million, which would

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PERMANENT RESISTANCE Tattoo artists donate time to raise funds for Pittsburgh’s feminist movement {BY KIM LYONS} SARA EVE RIVERA says she’s wanted to be

LANDMARKS PRESERVATION RESOURCE CENTER - A program of the Pittsburgh History & Landmarks Foundation Foundation

Join us at the Landmarks Preservation Resource Center for ongoing workshops as we continue programming on architecture, history, design, urban planning, and other topics related to how cities function and historic preservation as a tool of community development.

TUESDAY, APRIL 18 • 6:00 TO 7:30 P.M.

GARDENING WORKSHOP: ANNUAL FLOWER POWER MARTHA SWISS • GARDEN WRITER & DESIGNER Long-lived perennials are great in the garden, but their flowers come and go. Adding annuals bridges those blooming gaps and brings megawatt flower power to your garden. Some even bloom from spring to frost. We’ll discuss some of the most floriferous annuals to look for, including new varieties and tried-and-true, oldfashioned favorites. We’ll cover how to place annuals for maximum effect and how to include annuals if you are on a budget. Ideas for combining annuals and container plantings will also be covered. About the Presenter: Martha Swiss is a garden writer, designer, and speaker. She is a regular contributor to Pennsylvania Gardener magazine and the publications editor for the Pittsburgh Botanic Garden. Her articles have also appeared in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette and Fine Gardening. She is a graduate of Chatham University’s landscape design program and a Penn State master gardener.

THIS WORKSHOP IS FREE TO PHLF MEMBERS. NON-MEMBERS: $10. RSVPS ARE APPRECIATED: MARYLU@PHLF.ORG OR 412-471-5808 EXT. 527 FOR MORE INFORMATION VISIT WWW.PHLF.ORG 744 REBECCA AVENUE

WILKINSBURG, PA 15221

412-471-5808

a tattoo artist since she was about 7 years old, when she saw her dad’s brand-new tattoo. “I was obsessed with the idea that you could draw on yourself permanently,” she recalls. But while things have improved in the past few years, Rivera says the ﬁeld of tattooing hasn’t always been welcoming to female artists. “It was quite a struggle to break into, and there weren’t a lot of women who could help guide you,” she says. Earning respect and gaining experience were both challenges, she says, adding that she spent a lot of time not creating tattoos, but working the front desk and handling customer service. Now she’s the proprietor of her own shop in Dormont, PMA Tattoos (Positive Mental Attitude). She specializes in cover-up tattoos, whether it’s someone adding to a now-outdated tattoo from an earlier point in their life, or someone looking to cover a scar. It’s work she takes very seriously. “It’s really heavy, some days it really weighs on me, because you may be covering over self-inﬂicted scars or a tattoo that has a really strong negative connection for someone,” Rivera says. “A lot of people compare tattoo artists to therapists. The difference for us is usually the person doesn’t speak about why they’re covering something up. But you can always feel there is a tension, and so you have to build that sense of trust and respect their privacy.” On April 28, Rivera will be donating her skills to a fundraiser for GirlGov, the arm of the Women & Girls Foundation focused on getting more women involved in government. She had been talking with fellow tattoo artist Laura Hammel, of Gypsy Tattoo in Lawrenceville, about wanting to do something using tattooing as political activism, when she was approached by the event’s organizers, 412 Resistance. A $10 ticket, plus a $50 donation, gives participants the option to get one of six different tattoo designs, including a couple with the now-infamous phrase

{PHOTO COURTESY SARA EVE RIVERA}

Sara Eve Rivera

“Nevertheless She Persisted,” which has become a feminist rallying cry. Sen. Mitch McConnell, of Kentucky, uttered the words in a complaint about Massachusetts Sen. Elizabeth Warren’s refusal to yield the floor during a discussion about now-Attorney General Jeff Sessions’ nomination. “Obviously Mitch McConnell gave us the phrase,” says Lara Huber, of 412 Resistance. For those not totally down with the idea of having a Republican senator’s words permanently inked on their bodies, temporary tattoos will also be available for $10. 412 Resistance came out of the January Women’s March, and is working to bring attention to issues that affect women’s rights. The group chose the Women & Girls Foundation for the tattoo fundraiser, specifically the GirlGov program, because of the poor representation of women in elected office in the Keystone State. As of January, the state legislature was only 19 percent female, with only one woman representing Allegheny County. “This is a perfect example of the kinds of partnerships we’ve been trying to foster since our inception,” says Tara Simmons, vice president of the Women & Girls Foundation. The GirlGov program takes the place of civics classes for a lot of its participants, and it also works to train girls to use their voices to affect change in their communities, as well as for future careers in government, Simmons says. The tattoo fundraiser will be held at 3-7 p.m. Fri., April 28, at the Irma Freeman Center for Imagination, 5006 Penn Ave., Bloomfield. Tickets are $10 (you don’t have to get tattooed at all), and proceeds benefit the GirlGov program of the Women & Girls Foundation. www.412resistance.com/take-action

“OBVIOUSLY MITCH MCCONNELL GAVE US THE PHRASE.”

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[PITTSBURGH LEFT]

APRIL IS FAIR HOUSING MONTH

VIOLENT COMPASSION {BY CHARLIE DEITCH} DONALD TRUMP’S motivation in ordering a

missile strike against Syria last week has me baffled a bit. Don’t get me wrong, I understand the timing. The attack came after Syrian President Bashar al-Assad killed and wounded hundreds of his own citizens by using chemical weapons. In fact, President Obama mulled over military action during his presidency — and by now, of course, you’ve already heard how Trump solidly opposed Obama taking action against Syria. The missile strike is a strange step for Trump, a man who has pledged “America first.” He’s spent most of his three months in office, in fact, pissing off and alienating our allies. So just about the time he’s pushing hard for America’s isolation from the rest of the world, he takes the first steps in starting a war with Syria, and probably Russia. There was no diplomacy, no conversation, just missiles in the air. The president felt Syria’s aggression warranted aggression in return. In justifying the strike, Trump talked about the victims of the chemicalweapons attack: “Even beautiful babies were cruelly murdered in this very barbaric attack. No child of God should ever suffer such horror.” Herein lies the bone I’d like to pick. This military action comes as a surprise because no military aggression was perpetrated against the U.S. or its citizenry. I’ve listened to Republicans for years yell that the United States shouldn’t undertake any military operation unless we were attacked. I don’t agree with this. I think it’s the United States’ job, both alone and as a member of the U.N., to help those around the world who need it. I don’t support war and I generally despise the bombing of anyone. But intervention doesn’t have to involve drones and cruise missiles. There are many other steps to consider first. I abhor what happened in Syria and I support the U.S. getting involved. Airstrikes seem severe at this point. But I read Trump’s statement and I start to think, “Maybe he was truly moved by the scene of suffering and murdered children.” But then I look at the evidence and I can come to only one conclusion: Trump’s bombing of Syrian targets was probably just another unhinged, knee-jerk reaction to a situation

that he thought he needed to act on. What’s my evidence? Simple, really. I don’t think Donald Trump gives a damn about the injured, sick, murdered, maimed and displaced children of the world. Let’s review. First, if Donald Trump actually cared about Syrian children, he wouldn’t block them from entering this country in the first place. In January, he proposed banning Syrian refugees from entering the U.S. He also wants to eliminate or seriously reduce aid to Syria and other countries. So he blocks them from entering the U.S., reduces aid and instead sends cruise missiles. Trump’s U.N. ambassador, Nikki Haley, called the missile strike “compassionate.” Compassion, really? Wouldn’t the compassionate thing be to give those refugees safe harbor here? Second, horrible things are being done to beautiful babies all over this world. And not just babies, but toddlers, tweens, teens, young adults, twentysomethings, thirtysomethings and on and on. But the fact is, Syria is front and center right now, so that’s where he’s focused. What about the people of the South Sudan? Ethnic violence there is overwhelming. In the past few days, 6,000 people fled the country for Uganda because of increased fighting. An epic level of sexual violence against women and girls in that country continues daily. Or what about the children forced to live in gang-controlled cities across Central America? Teens and small children, hoping to escape violence, have left home and headed north, where many are forced to join gangs. While the U.S. under the Obama administration welcomed these immigrants, the borders are now closed to these people thanks to Trump’s January order. And let’s not forget the people just south of our border in Mexico, who live in poverty and deal with violence in places like Mexico City. So if I’m being honest, no, I don’t give Donald Trump points for compassion just because he called for an air attack in Syria. It was literally the easiest thing that he could do without actually doing anything to help the people of that country. What Donald Trump needs to do is get this country active again in helping people before they have to die.

DISCRIMINATION IS RARELY THIS OBVIOUS, BUT IT’S JUST AS REAL. AND JUST AS ILLEGAL.

IF A LANDLORD GIVES YOU THE RUNAROUND OR SAYS:

IF DONALD TRUMP ACTUALLY CARED ABOUT SYRIAN CHILDREN, HE WOULDN’T BLOCK THEM FROM ENTERING THIS COUNTRY IN THE FIRST PLACE.

CD EI TC H @PGH C IT YPAPE R . C O M

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We don’t take kids. The apartment you asked about on the phone has been rented. We only rent to people who speak English g clearly. y We don’t take teenagers. The ad was wrong the rent is really $50 more. I can’t assign you a handicap parking space.

YOU COULD BE EXPERIENCING HOUSING DISCRIMINATION. The only way to STOP housing discrimination IS TO REPORT IT, SO WE CAN INVESTIGATE IT.

PITTSBURGH COMMISSION ON HUMAN RELATIONS 908 City-County Building, 414 Grant St, Pittsburgh, PA 15219

www.pittsburghpa.gov/chr/

412-255-2600

The federal Fair Housing Act prohibits discrimination because of race, color, religion, national origin, sex, familial status or disability. The Pittsburgh City Code includes the bases under the Fair Housing Act and also prohibits discrimination because of sexual orientation, gender identity/expression, and status as a survivor of domestic violence.

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News of the Weird

S E N D YO UR WE I R D N E WS TO W E I RD N E W S @ E ART HL I NK . N E T O R WWW. NE WS O F T HE WE I R D. C OM

{BY CHUCK SHEPHERD}

+ Christine Van Loo! cirque aerialist and acrobat

4 AMAZING WORKSHOPS! AERIAL SILKS • TRAPEZE/DUO TRAPEZE • PARTNER ACRO

Recently, in Dubai (the largest city in the United Arab Emirates), Dubai Civil Defense started using water jetpacks that lift firefighters off the ground to hover in advantageous positions as they work the hoses. Also, using jet skis, rescuers can avoid traffic altogether by using the city’s rivers to arrive at fires (and, if close enough to a waterway, can pump water without hydrants). Even more spectacularly, as early as this summer, Dubai will authorize already-tested, one-person, “Jetsons”-type drones for ordinary travel in the city. The Ehang 184 model flies about 30 minutes on an electrical charge, carrying up to 220 pounds at about 60 mph.

+ One Day Only! Saturday, April 22 Greentree Location 600 Iron City Drive Driv PITTSBURGHAERIALSILKS.COM

The Cleveland, Ohio, Street Department still had not (at press time) identified the man, but somehow he, dressed as a road worker, had wandered stealthily along Franklin Boulevard in March and removed more than 20 standard “35 mph” speed-limit signs — replacing all with official-looking “25 mph” signs that he presumably financed himself. Residents along those two miles of Franklin have long complained, but the city kept rejecting pleas for a lowered limit.

Spectacular Errors! (1) In March, jurors in Norfolk, Va., found Allen Cochran, 49, not guilty of attempted shoplifting, but he was nowhere to be seen when the verdict was announced. Apparently predicting doom (since he had also been charged with fleeing court during a previous case), he once again skipped out. The jury then re-retired to the jury room, found him guilty on the earlier count and sentenced him to the five-year maximum. (Because of time already served, he could have walked away legally if he hadn’t walked away illegally.) (2) In March, Ghanaian soccer player Mohammed Anas earned a “man of the match” award (after his two goals led the Free State Stars to a 2-2 draw), but botched the acceptance speech by thanking both his wife and his girlfriend. Reportedly, Anas “stumbled for a second” until he could correct himself. “I’m so sorry,” he attempted to clarify. “My wife! I love you so much from my heart.”

It turns out that Layne Hardin’s sperm is worth only $1,900 — and not the $870,000 a jury had awarded him after finding that former girlfriend Tobie Devall had, without Hardin’s permission, obtained a vial of it without authorization and inseminated herself to produce her son, now age 6. Initially Hardin tried to gain partial custody of the boy, but Devall continually rebuffed him, provoking the lawsuit (which also named the sperm bank Texas Andrology a defendant) and the challenge in Houston’s First Court of Appeal.

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER

04.12/04.19.2017

An astonished woman unnamed in news reports called police in Coleshill, England, in February to report that a car exactly like her silver Ford Kuga was parked at Melbicks garden center — with the very same license plate as hers. Police figured out that a silver Ford Kuga had been stolen nearby in 2016, and to disguise that it was stolen, the thief had looked for an identical, not-stolen Ford Kuga and then replicated its license plate, allowing the thief to drive the stolen car without suspicion.

Least Competent Criminals (1) Thieves once again attempted a fruitless smash-and-grab of an ATM at Mike and Reggie’s Beverages in Maple Heights, Ohio, in March — despite the owner’s having left the ATM’s door wide open with a sign reading “ATM emptied nightly.” Police are investigating. (2) Boca Raton, Fla., jeweler “Bobby” Yampolsky said he was suspicious that the “customer” who asked to examine

diamonds worth $6 million carried no tools of the examination trade. After the lady made several obvious attempts to distract Yampolsky, he ended the charade by locking her in his vault and calling the police, who arrested her after discovering she had a package of fake diamonds in her purse that she likely intended to switch.

At what was billed as part of a cancer fundraising event at the AvantGarden in Houston in February, performance artist Michael Clemmons and a partner, working as the act Sonic Rabbit Hole, had the elegant idea that one give the other an enema on stage, but there was a “spraying” accident. Viewers were led to believe the procedure was authentic, but the artists swore later that the sprayed contents were just a protein shake. “What I did is not all that [extreme],” protested Clemmons. “I don’t understand why I’m getting the attention for this.”

WAYNOVISION

We’ve made it simple! Riding Port Authority is now faster, simpler and easier than ever before. Riders will now have the option of exiting the front or rear doors when the situation is appropriate.* Riders will continue to pay when entering the front door of the bus regardless of travel direction or time of day.

*Some exceptions may apply since there may be times when it is unsafe to open the rear doors.

.......................………………simple.PortAuthority.org NEWS

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DIVING IN You can’t drink all day if you don’t start in the morning {BY CELINE ROBERTS}

OS {CP PHOT

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER

} NNINGHAM BY LISA CU

04.12/04.19.2017

PITTSBURGH IS STILL A BEER-AND-A-SHOT KIND OF TOWN. While the past decade has seen the cocktail lounge come into vogue, the neighborhood dive remains a busy community gathering place, steadily pouring the same beers to the same neighborhood folks. Folks who show up to each other’s Christmas parties and summer barbeques. If Pittsburgh, as a city, already feels like an episode of Cheers, dives here are that experience magniﬁed. If you aren’t a regular at the local watering hole, it can take some time to ﬁnd your groove. Each neighborhood and history brings its unique vibe. The CP crew set off on a Wednesday morning to visit some of the most recommended and iconic joints in the city.

21 & OVER EVENT • MUST HAVE VALID I.D. TO ENTER • DOORS OPEN @ 4PM

JOIN US FOR OUR FINAL

DYNGUS DAY! DON’T FORGET YOUR BABUSHKA!

BEST ES I PIERODGA IN ‘BURGH!

10 a.m.

JACK’S BAR

1117 E. CARSON ST., SOUTH SIDE

TRY O R FAMOU S POLISU H PLATTE R!

APRIL

Hours: 7 a.m.-2 a.m. Mon.-Sat.; 9 a.m.-2 a.m. Sun.

“P

arty on a budget 365 days a year!” exclaims Jack’s website, which had its last blog update in 2014. Pink on black with blocky lettering, it looks like it was designed in the mid-’90s. The same can be said for the bar. The joint is dated, although I prefer “timeless.” Bonnie the bartender laughs a laugh clouded with the smoke of many late nights when she says it’s been open for “about a 100 years.” I arrive two minutes late to meet my editor, Charlie Deitch, and art director, Lisa Cunningham. He’s already drinking; she’s already being hit on by a shameless patron. T-shirts, thongs and boy-shorts emblazoned with the phrase “Drink every afternoon” are tacked above the bar and slightly obscured by the cigarette smoke that’s wafting toward the ceiling. Bar shelves are lined with everything from the garishly decorated bottom-shelf liquors, like buttershots, to Tito’s Vodka. Two young women wearing hospital scrubs, perhaps coming off a midnight shift, laugh together at the end of the bar, but everyone else is a white dude older than 50. The man hitting on Lisa turns his attentions toward me, offering to buy me a shot. As my father once told me, “With men, any attention is good attention.” I’m wary but accept anyway. I opt for a jello shot, because it is, after all, 10 a.m. on a Wednesday; the jello makes it almost like breakfast. When I ask if they make any virgin drinks, Bonnie gives me the long, tired look you give someone whom you consider endearing, but also very stupid. She deadpans: “Coke. Water. You could have a Bloody Mary without the vodka?”

4412 LIBERTY AVENUE • PITTSBURGH, PA • 15224

DRINKS •8-oz.CHEAPEST domestic drafts $1.60; $1.50 jello shots or the bargain price of two for $3. Not done yet? Grab a 16-oz. can of Old Milwaukee, Natty Lite or PBR to go — six packs are $7.15.

•BarFOOD eats include chili dogs, hamburgers, fish sandwiches and pepper provolone sticks, among a few other offerings. Ripping into his chili dog, Charlie stops short, saying, “There’s a piece of food [on the bar] that wasn’t on anything I ordered.”

SPECIAL FEATURES •A Golden Tee machine to play a couple holes and a digital jukebox that Charlie showed one of the drunker patrons how to use.

Total Damage: $8.75 for three beers, a chili dog and a Coke. CONTINUES ON PG. 16

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11 a.m.

Katie

CAFE NIKOS

212 SHILOH ST., MOUNT WASHINGTON Hours: 10 a.m.-2 a.m. daily

atie the bartender says she’s been working here for a year-and-a-half, but most every other bartender has been here for 10 to 20 years. Nikos deﬁnitely feels like the kind of place to settle in for a while. Beer is served in heavy-bottomed glass mugs; think barware from Moe’s Tavern on The Simpsons. At this time of day, the bar holds exclusively old-timers drinking the free coffee that’s provided every morning. “We pick up in the evening,” Katie says. “It’s a younger crowd then, but it’s everyone’s favorite neighborhood bar.” She introduces us to some of the regulars. When I ask John L. how long he’s been coming to this bar, he says he doesn’t remember. But he knows he’s been living in the neighborhood for 80 years. “Has it changed a lot?” we ask. “Hell yeah!” he says. “We had a junkman who used to ride horses through to pick the junk up back during the second World War. All the roads are different. We used to have street-car tracks out there. The beer don’t change.” He suggests we walk along Grandview Avenue, and says he used to walk that street to go to school. “No snow days. No school buses. And when the teacher said, ‘Shut up,’ you shut up,” he says. On his way out the door, John L. stops at my stool and leans in conspiratorially. “She’s a hula-hoop champion, ya know,” he whispers, pointing to the bartender with his chin, clearly taking pride in her accomplishments. And then, he’s out into the sunshine.

DRINKS •$3.50CHEAPEST well drinks or 16-oz. drafts of Bud Light, Miller High Life or Yuengling for $1.75. $5 Long Island Ice Teas after 5 p.m. on Wednesdays.

•LotsFOOD of fried food, wings, burgers, hoagies and wraps. Katie says there’s a spinning griller for gyros coming in soon.

SPECIAL FEATURES •In the back room, Nikos has a pool table and darts, as well as the ever-more-elusive cigarette machine.

Total Damage: $7 for two beers and a screwdriver. 16

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER

04.12/04.19.2017

Noon

RIGGS LOUNGE & RESTAURANT 1208 BRIGHTON ROAD, NORTH SIDE Hours: 10 a.m.-2 a.m. Mon.-Sat.; closed Sunday

iggs opened its doors around 1918. Today, it’s presided over by Marshall Riggs, the third generation to run it. Riggs tells us about the family history, remembering his 10 aunts who ran the place with panache, and his grandmother, who cooked for the Pittsburgh sports stars of the day. “We’ve been around a long time,” he says, pointing to photos dating to 1944. “My cousin Chuckie just sent me from California older pictures of this place. My wife is looking to get them framed.” He’s affectionate with his cousin, the bartender Hilda, a beautiful 83-year-old German immigrant who has tended bar there most of her life. Riggs’ grandmother brought Hilda over when the war broke out in Germany. Riggs says he wants his establishment to be welcoming. “It’s really laid-back. It’s straight, gay, black, white; you could send your mother in here at 1 in the morning,” he says. “I would want people to know, yeah the outside of the building is scary, but give it a try.”

DRINKS •$4CHEAPEST well drinks with very generous pours; $3.50 domestic drafts. An impressive collection of craft beers run $6 a pop.

•RiggsFOOD is working on renovating the back restaurant to keep its original charm. Stepping through the doors is like being put into a time capsule in the ’50s with much of the decor perfectly preserved. Food is served on occasional Saturdays.

FEATURES •TheSPECIAL room in the back of the bar is great for game play. A dart board kept us busy, but the real gem is a bowling game from 1957 that accommodates four players for 50 cents per game. Pins lift into the machine and are reset automatically.

Total Damage: $17 for two well drinks and four beers.

Hilda

1:15 p.m.

BOB’S GARAGE 1372 FREEPORT ROAD, ASPINWALL Hours: 11 a.m.-2 a.m. daily

very day is a holiday at Bob’s Garage, and today it’s still Christmas. “We’re a little behind on the decorations,” says Mia the bartender, gesturing to the thousands of Christmas ornaments and lights that hang from every nook and cranny. Trying to think about hanging each ornament is a head-spinning question, but the overall effect is lovely and somehow so tacky it transcends tackiness. It’s smoke-filled right now, but as of May 1, Bob’s officially goes smoke-free, to the delight of non-smoking dive-bar fans everywhere. Bob’s became Bob’s in 1979, when the owner (predictably named Bob) took over. It’s worth the drive to Aspinwall to hang out with the regulars and bathe in the artificial holiday glow. Karaoke is a perennial feature. Wednesdays, Fridays and Saturdays all provide opportunities to sing your heart out. All through April, Thursdays are dedicated to karaoke contests from Star Quest, with a $25,000 prize for the winner.

Mia

DRINKS •$3.75CHEAPEST domestic drafts, $4.25 wells and $2 jello shots. FOOD •Burgers, sandwiches and salads. Sunday breakfasts feature $1 mimosas and run from $7-10 total. Need more incentive? There’s free popcorn!

Total Damage: Two jello shots, one mocktail and three beers for $20. CONTINUES ON PG. 18

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Spring Thrift & Designer Sale

April 20–23 SAVE 25% – 50% OFF thrift clothing, shoes, and accessories. PLUS the premiere of thousands of spring and summer items from our Designer Days collection.

THRIFTIQUE T H R I F T

D I F F E R E N T

125 51st Street, Lawrenceville ncjwthriftique.com

412.742.4951

Bring this ad for $5 OFF $25+ purchase! Valid 4/20/17–4/23/17. Some restrictions may apply. Not valid with other offers.

THE ONLY INDOOR RIFLE RANGE OPEN EVERY DAY! (RESTRICTIONS APPLY)

SHOOTING RANGE OPEN 7 DAYS Home Protection Never Looked So Good

& SHOOTING CENTER

TIME TO BUY! Prices are at their lowest! B U Y- S E L L - T R A D E FIREARMS

FREE RANGE PASS Free range time or gun rental your choice expires 6/30/2017

CLASSES SAVE $20

LEARN TO SHOOT ONE ON ONE CLASSES AVAILABLE 7 DAYS A WEEK

(MONDAY-THURSDAY)

AS LITTLE AS 1 DAY NOTICE

2980 LEBANON CHURCH RD. • WEST MIFFLIN, PA 15122 • 412-469-9992 W W W . A N T H O N YA R M S . C O M

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER

04.12/04.19.2017

Geary

3 p.m.

CONLEY’S BAR 5245 BUTLER ST., LAWRENCEVILLE Hours: Early-late

fter a lunch break and some much-needed hydration at Dive restaurant, in Lawrenceville (go ﬁgure), we headed to Conley’s. With no available phone number or really any internet presence to speak of, Conley’s remains a diehard local establishment and remnant of the old steel-mill bar culture. Ray Conley opened it 40 years ago and passed it down to his son, Geary Conley, who tends bar now. The senior Conley was a boxer and old friends with Billy Conn, the legendary former world light-heavyweight champion who dominated between 1934 and World War II. Steve Pekich, a regular, tells me he’s been drinking here since he was 21. “My dad worked for his dad as a bartender,” he says. “I went to grade school with Geary. Don’t be winking at her!” he interjects, gleefully throwing Geary a look. Geary Conley is cheerful, gently teasing his customers and telling the same joke more than once, with just as much glee as the ﬁrst time. “My ex old lady was Russian ... rushin’ to get me out of her life,” he crows. Regarding his prices, he says he’s “here to make friends” and that becomes increasingly apparent as he greets each regular with a big smile.

DRINKS •$2.50CHEAPEST pounders and $3 Jameson and Crown Royal shots

Total Damage: Two pounders, one 16-oz. can and two shots for less than $20. CONTINUES ON PG. 20

BEER EXPRESS CRAFTPITTSBURGH MAGAZINE PENNSYLVANIA BEER ALLIANCE BRIDGETOWN TAPHOUSE EAST STREET DISTRIBUTING CO. RAILYARD GRILL & TAP ROOM CITY BREW TOURS PITTSBURGH HOUSE OF 1000 BEERS CITY WORKS, EATERY & POUR HOUSE KINGVIEW MEAD

TO LEARN ABOUT EVENTS OR PLAN ONE YOURSELF, VISIT:

PITTSBURGHCRAFTBEERWEEK.COM @P G H B E E R W E E K

P G H C RAFTB E E R W E E K O FFI C IAL HAS HTAG #PCBW

@P G H B E E R W E E K

Pittsburgh Craft Beer Week is organized and operated by the Pittsburgh Craft Beer Alliance, a non-profit 501(c)(6) organization overseen by a board of brewery professionals, restaurant managers, craft beer industry employees as well as others to help promote education and raise awareness for Pittsburgh craft beer.

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Shopping pp g for a Cause

S.A.A.M.

SEXUAL ASSAULT AWARENESS MONTH

SATURDAY, APRIL 22

Ev er y Mo nd ay ! Open M ic Stan d up co med Hosted y by Elliott burns

2 12 6 E . C a r s o n S t

10AM-3PM South Baldwin Social Club 5311 McAnulty Rd. Pittsburgh, PA 15236

All proceeds beneﬁt The Center for Victims and PAAR. Resources and an Advocate will be onsite. Vendors Like: JIC NATION, TASTEFULLY SIMPLE, ORIGAMI OWL, LULAROE, DAMSEL IN DEFENSE AND MANY CRAFTERS.

OUR FIRST SHIPMENT OF TREES & SHRUBS HAVE ARRIVED!

Cavacini Garden Center CHECK OUT THE GORGEOUS BLOOMING TULIPS, LILIES, AZALEAS, HYDRANGEAS, DAFFODILS & PANSIES! OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK • DELIVERY SERVICE AVAILABLE

100 51st Street • Lawrenceville • 412-687-2010 Off Butler Street / Across from Goodwill

$88

SONNY’S TAVERN 630 S. MILLVALE AVE., BLOOMFIELD Hours: 11 a.m.-2 a.m. daily

pen since the mid-’90s, Sonny’s is warm and welcoming. The two patrons at the bar, clearly regulars, are shooting the shit with Dave the bartender when we arrive. When we ask whether there are any special features, they both say, “Mean bartenders,” while grinning. Dave helps us with the order and we chat for a while. The place has a laid-back vibe, perfect for a late-night stop after a shift.

Tallulah

Mystery beers are occasionally featured for $2. You can get a Manhattan or an old-fashioned, but these rarely get ordered.

omer t s u c - n ew al* -

FOOD •Tallulah, a New Orleans transplant, has set up shop inside Sonny’s from 6 p.m.-

i - spec

Call today to set up your appointment Residential & Commercial Gift Cards Available phone. 412-542-8843 www.littlegreenmaidservices.com

We’re more than just cleaning. * $88 new customer special includes two professional maids, cleaning for a two hour maximum with our environmentally friendly cleaning products.

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER

Dave

DRINKS •$2.75CHEAPEST well drinks and PBRs, and $6 for a Sierra Nevada and a shot of Fireball.

+tax

4 p.m.

* Homes that have 3 or more bedrooms or require a more involved cleaning will fall under the $88 new customer special, or $20 an hour after the first two hours.

04.12/04.19.2017

midnight on Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays. Each weekly menu features healthy comfort food and prices stay below $10. Last week’s dishes included five-spice braised pork-belly sliders with pickled cabbage, and grilled fontina cheese and homemade pickle sandwiches.

SPECIAL FEATURES •Sunday is karaoke night from 10 p.m.-2 a.m. A pool table and dart boards are kept busy with occasional tournaments.

Total Damage: $18.50 for a Bud Light, a Yuengling, two Sierra Nevadas and two shots of Fireball.

CONTINUES ON PG. 22

GRAND NIGHT OUT at the

15th ANNUAL

PITTSBURGH W INE F ESTIVAL THURSDAY, MAY 4, 2017 GRAND TASTING 7-9 PM / $125

V I P TASTING

5-7 PM / $250

JOIN US FOR A SPECIAL FEATURE DURING THE EVENT

CHAIRMAN’S SELECTION®

PREMIER TASTING W/ STEVE POLLACK , HARRISON HEITZ

& JESSICA BOONE 6:30 PM / $40

@ HEINZ FIELD PittsburghWineFestival.com PRESENTED BY

Sponsored by:

WHAT WAS THE MOST RECENT NOVEL YOU READ? AND WHICH CONTEMPORARY WRITERS ARE YOU READING? The most recent novel Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve read? A very strange Borgesian work of ďŹ ction titled The Story of My Teeth, by Valeria Luiselli. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a highly stylized, experimental work, not at all â&#x20AC;&#x153;novelisticâ&#x20AC;? in the usual sense of the word. I am just beginning the wonderfully imaginative and touching Jerzy, by Jerome Charyn. CAN YOU TALK ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP TO TWITTER? Twitter is a communal phenomenon, and most tweets are in relationship to others. Virtually all of my tweets are conversational responses to othersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; remarks. Though often I might comment on a new book, ďŹ lm or TV series, and since the election, on political subjects. (When Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d started on Twitter several years ago it was not at all politicized.) INFO@ PGHC ITY PAP ER.CO M

M A I N F E AT U R E

DENYCE GRAVES as Grace

KENNETH KELLOGG as Sam Bankhead

NORMAN SHANKLE as Gus Greenlee

PHILLIP GAY as Cool Papa Bell

JASMINE MUHAMMAD as Hattie

JACQUELINE ECHOLS as Helen Gibson

ÇŚ Â&#x160;Â&#x201C;Â&#x160;Â&#x2030;Â&#x161;Â&#x2019; Â&#x160;Â&#x201C;Â&#x2122;Â&#x160;Â&#x2014; Ă¨ Â&#x17D;Â&#x2C6;Â?Â&#x160;Â&#x2122;Â&#x2DC; Â&#x2DC;Â&#x2122;Â&#x2020;Â&#x2014;Â&#x2122; Â&#x2020;Â&#x2122; Č&#x2013;Č&#x153;Č? ÇŚ Č&#x;Č&#x153;Č?Ç&#x201A;Č&#x;Č ČĄÇ&#x201A;ČĄČĄČĄČĄ Ă¨Â&#x2022;Â&#x17D;Â&#x2122;Â&#x2122;Â&#x2DC;Â&#x2021;Â&#x161;Â&#x2014;Â&#x152;Â?Â&#x201D;Â&#x2022;Â&#x160;Â&#x2014;Â&#x2020;Ç&#x20AC;Â&#x201D;Â&#x2014;Â&#x152;Ç Â&#x2DC;Â&#x161;Â&#x2019;Â&#x2019;Â&#x160;Â&#x2014;Â?Â&#x17D;Â&#x201C;Â&#x152; Â&#x2014;Â&#x201D;Â&#x2030;Â&#x161;Â&#x2C6;Â&#x2122;Â&#x17D;Â&#x201D;Â&#x201C; Â&#x2020;Â&#x2014;Â&#x2122;Â&#x201C;Â&#x160;Â&#x2014;Ćż Â?Â&#x160; Â&#x17D;Â&#x2122;Â&#x2122;Â&#x2DC;Â&#x2021;Â&#x161;Â&#x2014;Â&#x152;Â? Â&#x201D;Â&#x161;Â&#x201C;Â&#x2030;Â&#x2020;Â&#x2122;Â&#x17D;Â&#x201D;Â&#x201C; Â&#x17D;Â&#x2122;Â? Â&#x152;Â&#x160;Â&#x201C;Â&#x160;Â&#x2014;Â&#x201D;Â&#x161;Â&#x2DC; Â&#x2DC;Â&#x161;Â&#x2022;Â&#x2022;Â&#x201D;Â&#x2014;Â&#x2122; Â&#x2039;Â&#x2014;Â&#x201D;Â&#x2019;Ćż Â&#x160;Â&#x201D;Â&#x2022;Â&#x2018;Â&#x160;Â&#x2DC; Â&#x2020;Â&#x2122;Â&#x161;Â&#x2014;Â&#x2020;Â&#x2018; Â&#x2020;Â&#x2DC; Â&#x2122;Â&#x161;Â&#x2030;Â&#x160;Â&#x201C;Â&#x2122; Â&#x2020;Â&#x2122;Â&#x17D;Â&#x201C;Â&#x160;Â&#x160; Â&#x2022;Â&#x201D;Â&#x201C;Â&#x2DC;Â&#x201D;Â&#x2014;Ćż Â&#x201D;Â&#x161;Â&#x201C;Â&#x2030;Â&#x2020;Â&#x2122;Â&#x17D;Â&#x201D;Â&#x201C; Â&#x161;Â&#x160;Â&#x2DC;Â&#x2030;Â&#x2020;Â&#x17E; Â&#x2022;Â&#x160;Â&#x2014;Â&#x2039;Â&#x201D;Â&#x2014;Â&#x2019;Â&#x2020;Â&#x201C;Â&#x2C6;Â&#x160; Â&#x2DC;Â&#x2022;Â&#x201D;Â&#x201C;Â&#x2DC;Â&#x201D;Â&#x2014;Ćż Â&#x2019;Â&#x2021;Â&#x2014;Â&#x17D;Â&#x2030;Â&#x152;Â&#x160; Â&#x160;Â&#x152;Â&#x17D;Â&#x201D;Â&#x201C;Â&#x2020;Â&#x2018; Â&#x17D;Â&#x2DC;Â&#x2122;Â&#x2014;Â&#x17D;Â&#x2021;Â&#x161;Â&#x2122;Â&#x17D;Â&#x201D;Â&#x201C; Â&#x2020;Â&#x201C;Â&#x2030; Â&#x2020;Â&#x201C;Â&#x161;Â&#x2039;Â&#x2020;Â&#x2C6;Â&#x2122;Â&#x161;Â&#x2014;Â&#x17D;Â&#x201C;Â&#x152;

In the April 5 article â&#x20AC;&#x153;Mothers on the Edge,â&#x20AC;? the name of Mothering Through Precarity co-author Emily Chivers Yochim was misspelled throughout.

SEAN PANIKKAR as Wendell Smith

APRIL 29; MAY 2, 5, 7, 2017

CORRECTION

NEWS

ALFRED WALKER as Josh Gibson

Campaign by Creme Fraiche Design.

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Josh Gibsonâ&#x201E;˘ used with permission of Josh Gibson Enterprise, Inc., c/o Luminary Group LLC, www.JoshGibson.org

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SPY KIDS {BY AMANI NEWTON} ICE STATION ZEBRA is truly impressive

in its scale and aims. It consists of three theatrical sets: “Submarine 509,” at the Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh, and “ice stations” in Kirkenes, Norway, and Nikel, Russia. And the project, the brainchild of the Children’s Museum’s F.I.N.E. resident artist Emily Newman, ambitiously means to teach kids about the long-ago Cold War. Newman began conceptualizing the project in 2014, after returning from a lengthy stay in Russia. She sought a way to maintain a connection to that country through her work, and was inspired by the plot of Ice Station Zebra, a 1968 Cold War espionage ﬁlm. She applied the basic premise, a race for secrets in the Arctic, to a concept she calls “theater without an audience.”

ICE STATION ZEBRA continues through May 28. Children’s Museum, 10 Children’s Way, North Side. $14-16; free for children under 2). 412-322-5058 or www.pittsburghkids.org

Kids are free to simply play on the set — sort of a big submarine playhouse, complete with piped-in sounds — without the burden of a script or audience, says the museum’s program manager Zena Ruiz. “The narratives occurring in those moments are just as important as the Cold War narrative this is inspired by,” says Ruiz. The exhibit includes props

like parkas; set pieces like the sub’s “reactor”; and gear for a game where one team of kids writes a secret and hides it in a capsule somewhere in the museum, and another team tries to find it using an electronic tracker. As witnessed by CP, the exhibit easily achieves the goal of helping children think about and negotiate conflict: The props must be shared, and the space is designed in a way that encourages adults to hang back. Alternatively, kids can engage with the built-in programming, including the ZebraCom, Newman’s original spy gadget capable of connecting Pittsburgh to one of the international sites. (This is live only on specific days.) Kids can trade “secrets” (about whatever they choose) with kids in Russia or Norway, helping them {CP PHOTOS BY RENEE ROSENSTEEL} understand there are real children in Kids try out Ice Station Zebra, at the Children’s Museum; below, artist Emily Newman (right) watches. other countries, who are just like them. Ice Station Zebra was collaboratively produced with Artists Image Resource, The Sprout Fund, the University of Pittsburgh, Pikene på Broen, the Norwegian Cultural Ministry, and Dan and Irina Peris. “I really want children to enjoy the atmosphere of espionage, but also gain some distance from it,” Newman says. “In the Cold War, there was an emphasis on friendship projects, because there was so much talk about nuclear proliferation, and the arms race, and the end of the world. The child became the icon of the peace movement. There were pen-pals and cultural tours, and money spent on diplomacy. We don’t have that now. We’re not making any effort to make sure people are not demonizing each other.” I N F O@ P G H C I T Y PA P E R. C OM

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{PHOTO COURTESY OF HEATHER MULL}

Tony Bingham (left) and Martin Giles in Quantum Theatre’s Collaborators

[PLAY REVIEWS]

DICTATIONS {BY MICHELLE PILECKI} SOMETIMES REALITY has a way of catching

up to art. Quantum Theatre has been eyeing John Hodge’s Collaborators for four years, and announced it as the ﬁnale to the current season last May — well before the history-upending election. But the surreal 2011 comedy about the dangers of having a sense of humor in fearsome times now has new resonances.

COLLABORATORS continues through April 30. Quantum Theatre at 6500 Hamilton Ave., Larimer. 412-362-1713 or www.quantumtheatre.com

For his ﬁrst play, Hodge (best known as a screenwriter for Trainspotting, among other ﬁlms) dips into the real history of Mikhail Bulgakov, a dissident playwright in the USSR before World War II. Though Bulgakov has problems getting his works published, let alone staged, Josef Stalin is a big fan. The particulars of their relationship blossom in Hodge’s imagination. Jed Allen Harris gleefully directs a talented cast, led by the mercurial Tony Bingham as Bulgakov opposite the deceptively jovial Martin Giles as Stalin, and Dana Hardy as the former’s increasingly fearful wife. There are some real sparks in the married couple, contrasted with the hard dissonances between the men, veering from silly to chilling. Ken Bolden has an unusual turn as a villain who gets

the threats churning. As his fellow scary secret policeman, Joe Rittenhouse has little dialogue, but his distinctive proﬁle is all the language he needs. Others in the cast are showcased in multiple, often layered roles: John Shepard as a couple of doctors and an even shadier driver; Mark Stevenson as a winsome aristocrat and actor-as-Moliere; Jonathan Visser as a tortured young writer; Dylan Marquis Meyers as an unlikely ﬂatmate and the actor playing young Stalin; Nancy McNulty as another worried roommate; and Olivia Vadnais as sundry sexy ladies. The production, staged in an old Larimer warehouse, also mines the wealth of an extraordinary design team: Susan Tsu, costumes; Narelle Sissons, set; Joe Pino, sound; C. Todd Brown, lighting; and technical director David. J.M. Bielewicz. The word “collaborators” can have various meanings: people working together to create something, perhaps art, or else a person betraying his fellows by working with the enemy. Consider both the modus operandi of this historical fantasy. Think and enjoy.

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STOWE-AWAYS {BY TED HOOVER} DID YOU KNOW that Harriet Beecher

Stowe’s Uncle Tom’s Cabin is, after the Bible, the best-selling book of the 19th century? Theatrical versions were so popular that some estimate the number CONTINUES ON PG. 36

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of people who saw a stage adaptation is 10 times the enormous number who read the book. So when the Point Park Conservatory Theatre Company subtitles its production “The Most Popular American Play You’ve Never Seen,” they ain’t foolin’. One of the play’s most viewed adaptations was by George Aiken. Now Tomé Cousin and Jason Jacobs have rummaged through his six-act script and, with Douglas Levine’s wonderfully evocative score, crafted a tight, dramatic, intensely compelling two-act version.

UNCLE TOM’S CABIN continues through April 16. Conservatory Theatre Company at the Pittsburgh Playhouse, 222 Craft Ave., Oakland. $10-24. 412-392-8000 or www.pittsburghplayhouse.com

Uncle Tom’s Cabin is so famous it’s referenced in other works. The story concerns two slaves sold by their owner to pay off debts. Eliza escapes (“on the ice,” according to Company) to Canada, but Uncle Tom is sold ﬁrst to look after little Eva (“So Long Honey Lamb,” from Funny Lady), then to the monstrously evil Simon Legree (The King and I). Cousin and Jacobs’s aim is to rescue

the work from all its accumulated baggage (the term “Uncle Tom” is not one you would have used in the past 70 years) and to present Stowe’s — and Aiken’s — story center-stage. This they do, thanks to a knock-out student cast, without the slightest hint of irony or contemporary shading. You are allowed, rather than forced, to draw your own Black Lives Matter and/or Syrian refugee parallels. (It’s only in the ﬁnal few minutes that Cousin and Jacobs attempt modern contextualizing which, because it’s so stylistically opposed to the preceding two hours, feels false.) What’s captivating about this lucid production, is its attempt to get a handle on the missing character — Stowe’s own audience. This melodramatic, highly sentimental story is clearly meant for a very white, very Christian, very Northern audience, and Stowe is hectoring them to examine their own hypocrisy and self-serving platitudes (are you listening, Kendall?), and demanding outrage and action. There’s a story that Lincoln said to Stowe, “So you’re the little lady who wrote the book that made this great war.” It’s probably not true, but still a ﬁtting tribute to this remarkable story. I N F O@ P G H C I T Y PA P E R. C OM

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Edwidge Danticat graces the stage of the Frick Fine Arts Auditorium on April 13 as part of the University of Pittsburgh’s Pittsburgh Contemporary Writers Series. Danticat is a frequent contributor to The New Yorker and the MacArthur “genius grant”-winning author of more than a dozen books, including The Farming of the Bones, an American Book Award winner; Brother, I’m Dying, a National Book Critics Circle Award winner; Krik? Krak!, a National Book Award nominee; and the young-adult novel Untwine. Danticat, the Haiti-born author, debuted in 1994 with Breath, Eyes, Memory, a critically acclaimed novel about a complicated mother-daughter relationship that became a runaway bestseller after Oprah Winfrey selected it for her book club in 1998.

After so many accolades over the years, does Danticat remember how it feels to be an unknown writer? “Sometimes I wonder,” Danticat says, speaking by phone. “It’s been awhile. When the 20th anniversary [of Breath, Eyes, Memory] came, I thought, ‘Oh, my goodness, has it been that long?” But with a soft laugh, she says that neither the enthusiasm nor the anxiety surrounding writing dissipates with time. “I feel that excitement still. I remember that when I was young, I would think, ‘No one is going to read this.’ But I couldn’t stop writing, I was in love with the process. Every new piece of writing is a new conversation,” she says. In Pittsburgh, Danticat will read a selection from her forthcoming The Art of Death, to be published in July by Graywolf Press. A blend of memoir, philosophy and literary criticism, the book explores Danticat’s fear of, and quest for, understanding about death. Danticat began writing the book two years ago, after losing her mother. It’s the latest installment in Graywolf’s The Art of series, slim texts authored by contemporary writers on important issues. BY AMANI NEWTON

8:30 p.m. Thu., April 13. 650 Schenley Plaza, Oakland. Free. www.english.pitt.edu NEWS

{ART BY ELISE ADIBI}

^ Sat., April 15: Elise Adibi: Respiration Paintings

thursday 04.13

Night, conceived this show that finds a re-animated Walt Disney kidnapping McDade’s Stranded With Strangers puppets; human actors play the teenage Rangers trying to rescue them. And Stranded With Rangers, McDade promises, concludes with “an epic fight scene.” There are two shows at Arcade Comedy Theater, tonight and tomorrow. BO 8 p.m. Also 8 p.m. Fri., April 14. 811 Liberty Ave., Downtown. $12. www.arcadecomedytheater.com

SCREEN The monthly Pittsburgh Documentary Salon returns with four shorts about characters, local and otherwise. This edition of the Pittsburgh Filmmakers series includes “No Place But Home,” Ryan Loew and Matthew Newton’s recent profile of iconic local filmmaker Tony Buba; Julie Sokolow’s “The John Show,” about the project to create 250 original portraits of Pittsburgh’s John Riegert; a profile of former child actor Raven-Symoné, from the LGBT-themed “It Got Better” series; and doc-salon organizer Will Zavala’s “Dealing With the Truth,” a 1997 portrait of a “dishonest” car dealer. Filmmakers from all four works will attend. Bill O’Driscoll 7 p.m. (6:30 p.m. potluck reception). 477 Melwood Ave., Oakland. Free. www.pfpca.org

friday 04.14 SCREEN Famed Irish novelist Patrick McCabe, who’s teaching at Pitt this semester, hosts screenings of three films based on his books, all directed by Neil Jordan. Patrick McCabe & The Wild West North Film Screening Series starts tonight with Michael Collins (1996), starring Liam Neeson as the legendary Irish revolutionary. Tomorrow’s screenings include 1997’s The Butcher Boy, about a deeply troubled boy in the early 1960s, and Breakfast on Pluto (2005), a dark comedy about a transgender woman, set in the 1970s. McCabe will attend all three screenings at the

PUPPETS So there’s a new live-action Power Rangers movie? Must be time for a live-action Power Rangers parody — with fuzzy hand puppets. Locally based comedian Frank McDade, whose troupe has performed at the Chicago Improv Festival and Pittsburgh’s First

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LYNN CULLEN IS GOING BACK TO SCHOOL!

^ Thu., April 13: Stranded With Rangers

Carnegie Museum of Art Theater. Admission includes a signed book. BO Collins: 7 p.m. Butcher Boy: 2 p.m. Sat., April 15. Pluto: 5 p.m. Sat., April 15. $10-18 per film; $24-45 for all three. www.cmoa.org

saturday 04.15 ART

Lynn Cullen Live is now broadcasting daily from studios at Point Park University’s

Center for Media Innovation The show, presented by Pittsburgh City Paper in conjunction with Point Park University, airs daily at 10 a.m. at

www.pghcitypaper.com

The Frick Art Museum has been around awhile, but here’s something new: the first-ever art show in the Frick’s greenhouse. Elise Adibi: Respiration Paintings features work by this nationally known artist who frequently uses pigments from plant oils, and creates oxidation paintings with urine on copper, among other techniques. The show includes 18 abstract works displayed in the greenhouse and two more in the museum proper; the exhibit also incorporates custom greenhouse plantings, including tulips and citrus trees, for a multi-sensory experience. The show opens today. BO 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Exhibit continues through Oct. 15. 7227 Reynolds St., Point Breeze. 412-371-0600 or www.thefrickpittsburgh.org

WORDS SPOTLIGHT!: Monologue ^ Sat., April 15: Zepp-Lesque: Night is the first ever A Led Zeppelin Burlesque Tribute live-performance competition at Future Tenant. Actors, spoken-word performers, and slam poets are invited to come out and participate in the open-mic event. After the performances, the audience votes on the best act and the winner (or winners) takes home a $200 cash prize. Admission price includes complimentary adult beverages. Amani Newton 7 p.m. 819 Penn Ave., Downtown. $7 ($10 at the door). www.futuretenant.org

MUSIC Critically acclaimed Germany-based Ensemble SurPlus visit for tonight’s concert of an eclectic set of works, including two by Pittsburgh-based composers. The 11-member chamber-music ensemble (strings, wind instruments and percussion)

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER

04.12/04.19.2017

EVERYONE IS A CRITIC EVENT: Tekko Convention at the David L. Lawrence Convention Center, Downtown CRITIC: Jacob Brown, 20, a security supervisor and volunteer fireman from Elizabeth Township WHEN: Sat.,

— PRESENTS —

April 08

Jazz Appreciation Month

TERELL STAFFORD QUINTET

I got into anime freshman year of college, so probably two-and-a-half to three years ago. My buddies always talked about [this event]; I said I’ll check it out, see what it’s all about. I went last year for my first time; this is my second year. I was trying to brainstorm ideas [for a costume], to compete with Jake from State Farm [that I wore] the prior year, and my girlfriend was hungry, she wasn’t helping me out; she just wanted KFC. So she said, “Why don’t you dress as the Colonel?” I reached over and grabbed a notebook and I started sketching out the sign that I got [“Kentucky Fried Cosplay”]. If you’re looking for a social event, somewhere you can really express your artistic side, it’s not just anime here. It’s a pop-culture/comic-con/nerd/ video-game/you-name-it they-got-it thing. And the big thing that makes me come back is the people. These people are the nicest people that I ever dealt with. They’re so supportive, they love funny stuff, it’s just a hoot and a great time. I would tell anybody who was into people and having a great time that they should come here.

FEATURING TIM WARFIELD

B Y AMANI NE WTO N

focuses on new or unknown works. Tonight, at The Andy Warhol Museum, the troupe performs pieces by Wolfgang Motz, Thomas Bruttger, Amy Williams, Steve Reich and Bruno Mantovani, along with locally based Mathew Rosenblum’s “Northern Flicker” and Eric Moe’s “Strenuous Pleasures.” The show is presented by the Warhol and Music on the Edge. BO 8 p.m. 117 Sandusky St., North Side. $10-20. 412-624-7529 or www.music.pitt.edu

COMEDY “A club owner once told me to never talk about religion or politics. Man, am I glad I didn’t listen!” So says comedian Ron Placone, the Forest Hills native whose gigs now include one as writer, producer and panelist on the Los Angeles-based Jimmy Dore Show, which brings comedic political commentary to radio and the stage. Most recently, Placone and nationally touring comic Patrick Cunningham have teamed up for Morrissey’s Favorite Bacon, a tour that stops tonight at two Lawrenceville spots: Unplanned Comedy (early) and Hambone’s (late). So hopefully, the jokes come wrapped in both ham and bacon. BO 8 p.m. (5601 Butler St.; $10). Also 10 p.m. (4207 Butler St., Lawrenceville; $7). www.ronplacone.com

ORD IS F F A T “S GREAT E H T F ONE O OUR F O S R PLAYE ULOUS B A F A . R” TIME.. PLAYE T E P TRUM COY TYNER - MC

BURLESQUE Expect a whole lotta love, or at least related feelings, at James Street Gastropub and Speakeasy tonight with Zepp-Lesque: A Led Zeppelin Burlesque Tribute. ^ Sat., April 15: Ron Placone Local burlesque performer and impresario Viva Valezz (pictured) presents an evening of saucy neoclassical burlesque, bellydance, flow arts (like fire-spinning), drag and spoken-word acts, all set to Led Zep’s hits. Guest performers include Cleveland-based Shrimp Cocktail. The production also features a pre-show Zep listening and dance party courtesy of DJ Tanner, and a live set by members of local Zep cover band Bled Zeppelin Too. BO 10 p.m. (listening party at 9 p.m.). 422 Foreland St., North Side. 412-904-3335 CONTINUES ON PG. 40

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SATURDAY, APRIL 29, 2017 • 8PM THE NEW HAZLETT THEATER ON-LINE: SHOWCLIX.COM - OR CALL 1.888.718.4253 DAVE’S MUSIC MINE - 1210 E CARSON ST., PITTSBURGH, PA 15203 SOUTH SIDE | 412.488.8800 DORSEY’S RECORDS - 7416 FRANKSTOWN AVE., PITTSBURGH, PA 15208 HOMEWOOD | 412.731.6607 Funding for this project is provided by: The Heinz Endowments, Advancing the Black Arts in Pittsburgh Fund, The Opportunity Fund, and the The Pittsburgh Foundation EVENTS

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^ Sat., April 15: Ensemble SurPlus

wednesday 04.19 FESTIVAL

f f o k c i K Pa r t y

SATURDAY, MAY 13th Burger Eating Contest, Live Music, Drink Specials & more!

FULLTIME, the festival celebrating the hard-working creative entrepreneurs of Pittsburgh, is back for its third year. It returns with 11 independently produced events at different venues city-wide, staring with tonight’s PGH Tee, a show of screen-printed T-shirt art. Highlights include Raw Talent: The High School Art Throwback Show and Happy Hour, at East End Brewery Taproom (tagline: Your High School Art Is Embarrassing); Designer Discard, where designers and artists will sell you their handmade designer seconds, vintage items, original artwork, posters, housewares and more; and Beer Barge, presented by festival organizer Commonwealth Press, featuring dozens of local breweries plus live music. AN PGH Tee: 6 p.m. (Commonwealth Press, 2315 Wharton St., South Side). Events continue through April 23 (various venues). www.fulltimepgh.com

thursday 04.20 STAGE Gee, Brain, what are we gonna do today? Check out Animaniacs LIVE! at the Carnegie of Homestead Musical Hall. This touring musical revue of the animated variety show, produced on The WB between 1992 and 1998, stars {PHOTO COURTESY OF GUS POWELL} original cast members Rob Paulsen ^ Thu., April 20: Annie Proulx (Yakko), Jess Harnell (Wakko) and Tress MacNeille (Dot). They’re accompanied by Emmy-winning composer Randy Rogel, who created many of this toon’s most memorable songs. The event promises 20 songs from the run of the show, including an updated “Yakko’s World,” set alongside a live orchestra and cued-up clips. AN 8 p.m. 510 E. 10th Ave, Munhall. $39-59. 877-435-9849 or www.librarymusichall.com

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Annie Proulx, the National Book Award- and Pulitzer Prize-winning author who gave us The Shipping News and “Brokeback Mountain,” joins Pittsburgh Arts and Lectures for a special event. In conversation with Carnegie Museums of Pittsburgh President Jo Ellen Parker, Proulx will discuss her latest novel, Barkskins, which follows the fate of two families in the North American timber industry, and the way their capitalist fortunes entwine with the despoilment of the forest. A book signing will take place after the lecture. AN 7 p.m. Carnegie Music Hall, 4400 Forbes Ave., Oakland. $15-45. 412-622-8866 or www.pittsburghlectures.org

the

TENDER, BRAISED SHORT RIB PACKED PLENTY OF FLAVOR

SWEET SURPRISE {BY ALEX GORDON} Who doesn’t love a cupcake? They’re tasty, cute, versatile and relatively easy to make. Throw a candle on it, and you’ve got a hand-held birthday cake. But cupcakes have always been missing a certain something: the element of surprise. A new delivery service from a local bakery has finally rectified this situation.

{PHOTO COURTESY OF LOLA GILBERT}

Pittsburgh Mud Puddle cupcake

In March, Nizhoni Bakery, in Carnegie, debuted its new “secret” delivery option, which allows customers to send fresh cupcakes to friends, colleagues, partners, or possibly even enemies, on the sly. “Since I don’t have a storefront (only a commercial kitchen where I bake my products), I had to think of a creative way to market my business,” bakery owner Danielle Skiles wrote in an email to City Paper. “Since I was delivering most of my orders anyway, the option to send cupcakes to your friends and colleagues in the same way as you’d send flowers or an Edible Arrangement just kind of came to me.” How it works: Skiles requires two to five days’ notice for a surprise delivery. Flavors vary: Naturally, there are the basics, such as chocolate, vanilla and almond, but also premium flavors like salted caramel macchiato and the Pittsburgh Mud Puddle. The Mud Puddle offers chocolate and peanutbutter cake, filled with peanut-butter cream, and topped with peanut-butter/ chocolate buttercream frosting and peanut-butter drizzle. The minimum for delivery is a dozen, and customers can mix and match flavors for an extra fee. You can order up some covert confections of your choice at the website, but best to get it done soon: In its first three weeks, the bakery has been booked to capacity. ALEXGORDON@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

{CP PHOTO BY JOHN COLOMBO}

Pan-seared marlin, on a bed of onion risotto, topped with sautéed fiddlehead ferns and finished with strawberry gel

AT HOME IN HOMESTEAD {BY ANGELIQUE BAMBERG + JASON ROTH}

E’RE HAPPY to say that it’s no

longer big news when a good eatery opens on Eighth Avenue in Homestead. Not that we exactly shrug it off, either. The idea that the big-box retail mecca across the railroad tracks would somehow trickle down beneﬁts to Homestead’s moribund main street long ago became an eye-roller. The activity we’re seeing lately is more likely the outcome of a nationwide resurgence of interest in traditional downtowns, generally. But whatever the reason, the activity on Eighth Avenue is real. And there’s Honest John’s, a bar and restaurant that goes beyond the abject humbleness suggested by the name. The lunch menu is mostly sandwiches, but dinner brings more sophisticated fare, from Cobb salad to ceviche to bread offered with an

www.nizhonibakery.com NEWS

dimmer, more intimate dining room with exposed brick and Edison bulbs. We gravitated to the third room and proceeded to debate which of the nine spreads we’d order with our breads. Smoked-marrow butter appealed; so did roasted-blackgarlic purée. In the end, we chose curry eggplant, whipped rosemary goat cheese and herb-infused olive oil. They came on a big board piled with sliced baguette and crispy, seasoned pita chips. The chips were tasty, but had too much of their own ﬂavor to showcase the olive oil; they even overwhelmed the creamy chèvre. Both of these were excellent on the bread, though. The curry eggplant was a letdown, with a peculiar egg-salad-like texture and not enough smoky eggplant ﬂavor to back up the curry. Quesadillas are a popular starter, but most places cut them into big wedges that

array of gourmet spreads. Though a fairly short menu, it’s long on variety. Another thing Honest John’s has plenty of is space. The restaurant spans three storefronts, all open to one another on the interior: one containing the bar, some

HONEST JOHN’S 216 E. Eighth Ave., Homestead. 412-205-3448 HOURS: Tue.-Thu. 11:30 a.m.-9 p.m.; Fri.-Sat. 11:30 a.m.-10 p.m.; Sunday brunch 10:30 a.m.-3 p.m. PRICES: Salads, soups and starters $6-12; entrees $11-17 LIQUOR: Full bar

CP APPROVED high-top tables and a delightful, magnetic, giant wall-mounted Scrabble board; another with bright lighting and an au courant grayand-white paint scheme; and the third, a

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MEXICAN RESTAURANT & BAR OAXACAN CUISINE

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WE CATER!

don’t exactly match appetizer portions. Honest John’s goes smaller and smarter, serving up triangles only a bit bigger than a tortilla chip — but much, much fatter. Tender, braised short rib packed plenty of flavor, spiked by sliced jalapeño and a pico de gallo that, perhaps in deference to the season, was more onion- than tomato-heavy. Cilantro créme was a nice upgrade from sour cream. Mussels are available in appetizer or entrée portions. Angelique chose the latter and was nearly overwhelmed with what might have been two pounds of shellfish. The menu called the preparation “mariniere,” which usually denotes a simple broth of white wine, garlic, lemon and herbs, but the kitchen went above and beyond, adding tasty jalapeño-chicken sausage and roasted red peppers. To soak it up, there was the most extraordinary bread. Again, the menu’s mention of “focaccia” was woefully inadequate for the darkly colored, yet lightly crispy, peppery-flavored, seemingly oil-infused squares. They were almost … juicy: Wow. Other diners were getting burgers, which we took as a recommendation. But our bacon cheeseburger didn’t really stand out. While the bacon was crispy, the cheddar sharp, the meat itself the sort of thing that, just 10 years ago, would have qualified as a good bar burger, but now leaves one longing for a richer, beefier patty. We should note that the house burger — one of a few pre-composed topping combos — might have stood out more with its tomato compote and crispy onion. Accompanying fries were super-crispy and tossed with a tasty seasoning blend. Fortunately, John’s doesn’t stand on its burgers alone. Crispy pork belly, available at lunch and dinner, looked like the kind of dish you’d find at a top-notch burgeria. Pulled pork was piled atop half a toasted bun, surmounted by a sunny-side-up egg. Then things got deconstructed: two big, thick triangles of pork belly, crisped on all sides, in the middle of the plate, flanked by a mild, savory barbecue sauce on one side and a bright green chimichurri on the other. It was original, and it worked. Our only quibble was that the pickled onion’s contribution, while tangy, was a bit subtle. Service was friendly, but slow, giving us plenty of time to work on our giant Scrabble game. Even though this passed the time, we should never have to wait long just for menus. One server, plus one bartender, might simply be inadequate to the number of tables. Notwithstanding that, Honest John’s is a solid anchor for Homestead’s gradually reviving downtown scene: attractive, appealing and welcoming to all. INF O @PGH C IT YPAPE R . C O M

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER

04.12/04.19.2017

[PERSONAL CHEF]

CHICKEN AND DUMPLINGS FOR MARY {BY CHEF BILL FULLER, BIG BURRITO RESTAURANT GROUP} When I really want to make a nice dinner for my wife, Mary, I don’t roll out the foie gras and caviar. I make a big pot of old-fashioned chicken and dumplings. All she needs is comfort food to please her Irish-American soul. Nothing complex, nothing spicy. Chicken stock vapors soften the house, making everything warm and comfortable. SOUP INGREDIENTS • 3 or 4 chicken breasts, bone in, skin on • chicken stock • 2 cups onions, diced • 5-6 cloves garlic, sliced thinly • 2 cups diced carrots • 1 cup celery, sliced • 2 Red Bliss potatoes, quartered • 2 tbsp. fresh thyme, chopped • salt and pepper INSTRUCTIONS Place chicken in large pot. Cover with stock and bring to a simmer. Cook until chicken is just done. Remove to a plate and allow to cool. Add vegetables and thyme to stock. Season with salt and pepper. Bring to a simmer. Cook until vegetables are done. Make dumpling mix (see below). While vegetables simmer, remove chicken from bones and dice. Add to pot. Spoon in dumplings while keeping pot at a simmer. When completed, allow to simmer for a few minutes. If broth becomes too thick, add a little more stock. Check seasonings. Adjust salt and pepper. DUMPLING INGREDIENTS • 6 eggs, room temperature • ¼ cup butter, very softened • 1½ cups flour • 2 tbsp. fresh rosemary, chopped • salt and pepper INSTRUCTIONS Whisk eggs lightly. Add butter and incorporate well. If the butter is not very soft and the eggs are not room temperature, this will be difficult. There may still be little pieces of butter in the eggs. This is OK. Add flour and seasonings. Stir in gently. Do not over-work the dough. It should be soft and sticky — a little thicker than batter, but not as tight as soft dough. Place a small amount of dough on a spoon. Scrape two or three dumplings into pot with another spoon. When the dumplings float, allow them to cook another minute. Remove and taste. If the dumpling falls apart, add a little more flour to the batter and stir in gently. Adjust seasonings, if desired. Continue to scrape dumplings into pot. I like the size I get when I scrape 4 or 5 off a large tablespoon. Bring to a simmer and cook for a few minutes. INFO@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

WE WANT YOUR PERSONAL RECIPES AND THE STORIES BEHIND THEM. EMAIL THEM TO CELINE@PGHCITYPAPER.COM.

Formerly the

Tin Angel

Make your Easter Reservations Today! 11AM-3PM

{CP PHOTO BY JOHN COLOMBO}

Chef/co-owner Michele Savoia leans on Dish’s copper-topped bar.

[ON THE ROCKS]

Special menu available.

LAST DISH

Diningg with a

A Farewell to Dish Osteria and Bar {BY CELINE ROBERTS} EVEN AS executive chef/co-owner Michele Savoia prepares to close the doors of his beloved South Side restaurant, Dish Osteria, he speaks excitedly about acquiring sea urchin for the ﬁnal weeks. “If the weather is good and the divers are going to do it, then they’ll be in,” he says, smiling and launching into a detailed explanation of exactly how he plans to prepare it. Excellent food notwithstanding, this willingness to engage with the moment, and with his customers, no matter the stage of Savoia’s career, is what has grown Dish into a restaurant that many Pittsburghers love so deeply. When a March 26 Facebook post announced Dish Osteria’s closing at the end of April, there was an immediate outpouring of love, heartbreak and support. “Especially after 17 years, you realize that you’ve become a part of the community,” says Savoia. “So many people all over the city, they’ve been coming. They’ve been writing me. They’ve been commenting on their own media. People in tears. I’ve been in tears myself,” Savoia says, starting to well up and laugh at the same time. “We keep doing this. We’re supposed to be excited but oh no! Grief!” says co-owner Cindy Savoia, affectionately smoothing her husband’s hair. Dish opened in September 2000, when the Savoias landed in Pittsburgh after years of working in New York City’s restaurants. (Michele was raised in Italy, while Cindy’s

originally from Pittsburgh.) After a sevenmonth stay in Costa Rica — where they’ll return this year for an extended summer vacation — the couple was visiting Cindy’s family, living in the South Side and looking for a place to settle down. When McCann’s bar went up for sale down the street, they bought the building, slowly transforming the glass-blocked Irish pub into a piece of southern coastal Italy. The menu and bar program at Dish have always focused on wringing every drop of deliciousness from simple, high-quality and expertly prepared ingredients. Dishes like Savoia’s rigatoni alla scamorza and his spring nettle soup have gained a cult following. The shining copper bar remains full until late in the evening, where patrons are often joined by Cindy, Michele or his brother Andrea, an ever-present figure in the front of the house. The couple’s son Nico, now 15, often spends time there as well. Family has been the overarching theme of Dish’s existence and success, and now it is also the reason for its closing. The Savoias want to focus on spending time with their son and with each other. Michele Savoia’s staff, of whom he is immensely proud, immediately began getting calls from other area restaurants with job offers. The Savoias don’t intend to sell or rent the space any time soon. “I want to keep everything because I don’t want to take a rushed decision. What I need is just a break,” says Savoia, laughing.

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BOOZE BATTLES {BY CELINE ROBERTS}

Each week, we order the same cocktail at two different bars for a friendly head-to-head battle. Go to the bars, taste both drinks and tell us what you like about each by tagging @pghcitypaper on Twitter or Instagram and use #CPBoozeBattles. If you want to be a part of Booze Battles, send an email to food-and-beverage writer Celine Roberts, at celine@pghcitypaper.com.

THE DRINK: SPECIAL DELIVERY

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DRINK: Airmail INGREDIENTS: Cruzan gold rum, honey, lime, sparkling wine, lime twist OUR TAKE: As we bid farewell to Tender Bar + Kitchen (closing April 22), it was only right to have a classic from its Banker’s List of cocktails. Its Airmail is a delight on a hot day, with fresh lime to brighten the rum, and honey that’s just a little funky to give it some depth. Sparkling wine makes it great for a happy-hour lift.

DRINK: Airmail INGREDIENTS: Plantation Grande Reserve 5-year gold rum, honey, lime, cava, lime wedge OUR TAKE: Served on ice, this rendition of the classic was lighter and deliciously chilled. The Plantation rum had notes of vanilla, complemented by the sweetness of the honey, and the lime’s acid cut through it all. This cava was slightly drier and lent a nice finish.

This week on Sound Bite: City Paper heads to Washington, Pa., to hear the lore of the Whiskey Rebellion. www.pghcitypaper.com

One Bordeaux, One Scotch, One Beer Finca Wolffer Rosé Mendoza 2016 $12/glass, $48/750 ml “ “Nothing says spring like rosé. Finca Wolffer Rosé, from Mendoza, Argentina, is every bit as good as Wolffer’s flagship rosés from the A Hamptons. Crisp, refreshing and tart; elegant dried-strawberry flavors H give way to undertones of white pepper, sage and chalky minerals. Perfect g with oysters on a spring evening, or a picnic on a summer afternoon.” w RECOMMENDED BY BRIAN KEYSER, OWNER OF CASELLULA

Finca Wolffer Rosé Mendoza 2016 is available at Casellula, on the North Side.

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LOST AND FOUND

IT’S HARD TO RATE THE ACTORS GAMELY TRUDGING THROUGH THIS PREDICTABLE FARE

{BY AL HOFF} When the hell of war is over, a fresh chapter begins for those, both on and off the battlefield, who survived. No war is good, but the one we now call World War I left notable devastation: an entire generation of young men killed, injured or psychologically damaged, and a re-ordered Europe, in which economic and geopolitical tensions would lead to yet another multination war in just a quarter century.

GETTING SCHOOLED

The Lost Generation: Adrien (Pierre Niney) and Anna (Paula Beer)

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These threads run brightly through François Ozon’s drama Frantz, which is set in a small German town in 1919. There, a young woman named Anna (Paula Beer) lives with the parents of her dead fiancé, Frantz, who was killed in France. She dutifully tends his grave, and it’s there she encounters a young Frenchman, Adrien (Pierre Niney), placing flowers. Adrien explains that he and Frantz were friends in France, when Frantz was there as a student. Initially, Frantz’s parents are wary of Adrien — and angry; there is much resentment in town about the war, and already nationalist German groups are forming. But the kind, sad, sensitive Adrien wins over the family, especially with his accounts of Frantz’s happy times in Paris, such as visiting the Louvre. Despite the lingering ill feelings between the two countries, could Adrien fill the void left behind by Frantz’s death, both for his parents and his fiancée? Things turn out to be not so simple. Ozon’s film is beautifully photographed, shot in a lustrous black and white that occasionally shifts into color to denote the times when vitality returns to these shattered individuals. It’s a rather gentle, if quietly devastating, melodrama which explores this uneasy transitional moment — a bleak, backward-looking time dominated by grief, anger, confusion, guilt and a dawning sense of outrage at the futility of the loss. What has been gained by the death of so many? And is not the experience (or loss) of one young reluctant German soldier the same as that of his French counterpart? The past seems inescapable, yet time moves on. Frantz depicts how inevitably some measure of healing and progress is necessary for these survivors, however imperfectly plotted their steps forward. In German and French, with subtitles. Starts Fri., April 14. Manor

{BY AL HOFF}

Fred, Mary and Frank enjoy a day at the beach.

HAT IS THE best long-term option — academically, socially — for a gifted child? That is the central question of the rather sunny melodrama Gifted — or at least until the ﬁlm gets sidetracked with a custody battle. After his sister died, Frank Adler (Chris Evans) took to raising her child, Mary (McKenna Grace), in a small coastal Florida town. He’s been home-schooling his niece (and her one-eyed cat, Fred) in a ramshackle little cottage; he also repairs boats, and a kindly neighbor (Octavia Spencer) helps with child care. But now it’s time to send 7-year-old Mary to public school to help her get socialized and lead a more typical “kid” life. But her teacher (Jenny Slate) immediately sees that Mary is gifted, and suggests that the child attend a certain private school. Frank balks — he just wants her to be a regular kid, without the pressures of an academic hothouse. Enter Frank’s mom, Evelyn (Lindsay

the small town on the Atlantic Ocean; sunset moments at the beach; a “funky” house; impossibly good-looking leading man playing some blue-collar role; juiced-up domestic conflict; a predictable resolution that pleases everybody; and a scene where characters dance to a 1970s pop song. Plus, the custody battle is pure TV movie, playing out with the high drama of surprise witnesses, gavelbanging and gotcha moments. It’s hard to rate the actors gamely trudging through this predictable fare, though, as always, a couple of fine actresses (Slate, Spencer) are wasted in supporting roles. I couldn’t decide whether the Mary role, as written and portrayed with plenty of exuberance by Grace, was aiming to capture the unique nature of a precocious child, or just another of those typical overly cute “mini-adult” characterizations one often finds in Hollywood fare. It was too much for me, even to the point of grating, but I must give young Miss Grace her due: She delivers some excellent ugly crying.

Duncan), who jets down from Boston, in a designer suit and with a clipped British accent, to make a scene. It turns out the Adler family is full of math whizzes, and Evelyn wants her free-spirited granddaughter off the beach and on the brainiac track ASAP. And it goes without saying, frosty Evelyn also hates Fred the cat. So she sues for custody.

GIFTED DIRECTED BY: Marc Webb STARRING: Chris Evans, McKenna Grace, Lindsay Duncan

Gifted is directed by Marc Webb, who in 2009 made the indie charmer 500 Days of Summer, before moving onto The Amazing Spider-Man 1 and 2. So this by-the-book fare seems an odd choice. There’s a lot about this ﬁlm that would place it squarely in the Nicholas Sparks sub-genre of melodrama:

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NEW DONALD CRIED. No, you can’t go home again, whether that’s a physical place, the person you used to be or the relationships you once had. But one way or another, we can end up back there, and it’s usually an awkward time. If we’re lucky (or insightful), maybe we learn something and leave a slightly better person. That’s the premise of writer/director Kris Avedisian’s indie film, which finds Peter (Jesse Wakeman) returning to the blue-collar Rhode Island town he grew up in. It’s snow-covered, but not in any pretty calendar way. He’s only there to tend to paperwork regarding the death of his grandmother, but he loses his wallet and is forced to knock on the door of his high school buddy, Donald (Avedisian). Who is still there, and appears to be unchanged in 20 years: Living with his parents; working at the bowling alley; popping pills; still bored, restless and lonely. Donald is overjoyed to see Peter, but Peter — who has moved on to finance in New York City — is less enthusiastic. Nonetheless, circumstances force them to spend one long day and night together, revisiting old haunts, mutual friends, joys and grievances. Donald Cried is a cringe dramedy that will resonate most strongly with those old enough to have walked this path, and there is some finely observed details about male friendship woven through the shaggy plot. Both actors do great work, with Avedisian tackling the tricky task of bringing the frustrating and irritating Donald to life as a person worthy of, if not grudging respect, then at least a heartfelt pity. Starts Fri., April 14. Hollywood (Al Hoff)

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FATE OF THE FURIOUS. The car-racing gang — sorry, family — is back from retirement to help take down an anarchist looking to destroy the world. How can this be achieved through superfast cars? Buy a ticket, son. Vin Diesel, Charlize Theron and Dwayne Johnson head up the ensemble cast in this actioner directed by F. Gary Gray. Starts Fri., April 14 JFILM. The annual JFilm Festival, featuring films highlighting the Jewish experience, runs Thu., April 20, through Sun., April 30. The openingnight film is Harmonia, a drama about musicians in the Jerusalem Orchestra, screening at 7 p.m. at the Manor. Full schedule at www.jfilmpgh.org THEIR FINEST. Lone Scherfig directs this dramedy about a British film crew tasked with making propaganda films to boost morale after the Blitz, in World War II. Gemma Arterton, Sam Claflin and Bill Nighy star. Starts Fri., April 14

REPERTORY RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK. In Steven Spielberg’s 1981 film, our square-jawed hero, archeologist Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford), tackles everything from giant boulders to snakes and conniving Nazis. 7:30 pm. Wed., April 12. AMC Loews Waterfront. $5

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DOCUMENTARY SALON. The program offers four short films, each profiling a person. Ryan Loew and Matthew Newton’s “No Place But Home” (Braddock filmmaker Tony Buba); an episode of the “It Got Better” series (RavenSymoné); Will Zavala’s “Dealing With the Truth” (a car dealer); and “The John Show” (art about artist John Reigert), by Julie Sokolow. 7 p.m. (pot-luck food at 6 p.m.) Thu., April 13. Melwood. Free

Donald Cried DISTRICT 9. A South African man winds up on the side of imprisoned alien creatures, who are fighting to break free of their encampment, in Neill Blomkamp’s 2009 geopolitical-ish sci-fi thriller. April 14-19. Row House Cinema STARSHIP TROOPERS. Paul Verhoeven’s 1997 actioner finds a group of soldiers, in some troubled future, fighting giant alien bugs. Casper Van Dien and Denise Richards star. April 14-20. Row House Cinema TOTAL RECALL. Arnold Schwarzenegger stars in Paul Verhoeven’s 1990 adaptation of the Philip K. Dick sci-fi tale about the trouble with implanted memories. April 14-20. Row House Cinema WESTWORLD. Seen the recent HBO series? Now scope out the original tale of the pretend Westernthemed amusement park, populated by robots, and what happens when they revolt. Yul Brenner stars in writer-director Michael Crichton’s 1973 sci-fi thriller. April 14-20. Row House Cinema BABE. A sweet pig dreams of herding sheep in this 1995 talking-animals classic directed by Chris Noonan. 11 a.m. Sat., April 15. Tull Family Theater, 418 Walnut St., Sewickley. www.thetullfamilytheater.org BARD SONGS. Sander Francken’s 2010 film presents three stories from around the globe that combine modern life with traditional folk tales and songs. Presented by Silk Screen. In various languages, with subtitles. 7 p.m. Wed., April 19. Waterworks Cinema EQUAL MEANS EQUAL. Kamala Lopez’s recent documentary looks at the ongoing unequal treatment of women in the United States, using real-life cases that reveal inequities in the workplace, justice system, health care and more. The film screens as part of an ongoing series of social-justice films. 6:30 p.m. Thu., April 20. Eddy Theater, Chatham campus, Shadyside. Free. www.justfilmspgh.org RASHOMON. Akira Kurosawa’s 1950 film tells the story of a brutal 12th-century crime in the woods — but five different times, each from a different perspective. Toshiro Mifune made his name portraying the mercurial accused bandit. But the real stars are Kurosawa and his crew: Starting with the rainstorm pounding a grandly ruined city gate that opens the film, the beautifully incisive framing and continuously moving camera are viscerally satisfying. In Japanese, with subtitles. 7 pm. Thu., April 20. Tull Family Theater, 418 Walnut St., Sewickley. www.thetullfamilytheater.org (Bill O’Driscoll)

TO ARMS {BY CHARLIE DEITCH}

“I ABOUT FELL OFF MY CHAIR WHEN I HEARD THAT HURLING WAS PLAYED HERE.”

I’ve never been the type of person who makes excuses for athletes behaving badly. I’ve also never been an apologist for those who get paid to play pro sports. But the NFL’s constant ball-busting of Steelers linebacker James Harrison is getting insane. Last season the NFL launched an investigation based on a news story that allegedly connected Harrison to an outfit that allegedly provided steroids to pro athletes. There was no corraboration of the claim, but the league worked tirelessly to be a tremendous pain in Harrison’s ass. The claims were found to be without merit.

{CP FILE PHOTO}

James Harrison

Over the weekend, though, we learned that Harrison was once again in hot water with the league for participating in a soon-to-be-televised arm-wrestling competition featuring NFL players. Now, at first blush, it might seem strange that an NFL player is in trouble for engaging in an activity way less violent than the one he plays on a regular basis. But Harrison is in Dutch not for what he was doing, but for where he was doing it. The event took place at the MGM Grand Casino in Las Vegas. As it turns out, simply being in a casino violates the league’s gambling policy, which prohibits players from making public appearances at casinos. I didn’t think it was possible, but the hypocrisy and incompetence of NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell continues to grow. Don’t get me wrong: I’m happy with the league’s commitment to punishing players involved in domestic issues, but this seems like blustering just for the sake of blustering. An NFL player can’t do an appearance in a casino, but the NFL allows the entire Raiders franchise to relocate to Las Vegas. Plus, gambling on football — both legal and illegal — hit $98 billion in 2015, according to the American Gaming Association. While the teams don’t get a cut of that, it brings countless gamblers to their TV sets every week. James Harrison is outspoken against the league when he disagrees with it. It feels like this latest act of grandstanding is just another attempt to goad Harrison into a confrontation. At this point, the league’s blustering is getting so old, I think I’d rather watch arm-wrestling.

{CP PHOTO BY BILLY LUDT}

Action from an April 9 Pittsburgh Pucas practice

READY TO HURL {BY BILLY LUDT}

OR THE PEOPLE of Ireland, competing in the sport of hurling is a matter of county pride. Kids walk around town with hurling sticks in hand. Residents adorn themselves in their club’s jersey. The players compete at a professional level, without monetary compensation, and a viewership that rivals American football. Pittsburgh Pucas Hurling continues the tradition of the Gaelic sport from across the pond, here in Pittsburgh. A Puca is a shapeshifting spirit or ghost from Celtic folklore. “They play for their county, and we really play for Pittsburgh pride,” says Pucas coach Aaron Williams. The co-ed club competes in the Midwest Division of the United States Gaelic Athletic Association’s hurling league, the stateside offshoot of the GAA. Pucas Hurling, whose home games are at Founders Field, in Cheswick, has traveled to, and consistently placed in, championships and tournaments from Toronto to New Orleans.

“I about fell off my chair when I heard that hurling was played here,” midfielder Ryan Sheehan says. “It’s a very welcoming environment. You can be committed or uncommitted as you want. It’s like a free form of exercise.” Hurling is a high-scoring field sport that bears similarities to soccer, football, field hockey, lacrosse and baseball. It is played with a short, flat hurling stick, known as a hurley. Players (wearing lacrosse-style helmets) score by either knocking the hard, baseball-sized ball, known as the sliotar, into the net of a goal for three points, or over uprights for a one-point field goal. “We get people that express interest and then think it’s a much more brutal sport than it seems,” Williams says. “But it’s an easy sport to learn. The basics of it, you can pick it up fairly quickly.” The ball can be moved with every limb, by hitting it with a hurley, by tossing and smacking the sliotar with the palm of

a player’s hand and by kicking it on the ground. Players can catch the sliotar, as long as it’s airborne or bouncing, and can move with it for several steps, as long as it’s balanced on a hurley, before passing. The sport is known for its speed and physicality, but Pucas players said the league accepts anyone who is willing to play. A natural camaraderie comes along with the sport, says Pucas full forward and games manager Keith McAllister. “One second you’re busting heads with someone on the ﬁeld, and the next you’re shaking hands and having a beer.” The Pucas (www.pghhurling.org) are always looking for new players and are hoping to start a camogie team in the future. Camogie is a women’s sport with similar rules. “We are always looking for women to apply,” says Pucas fullback Sue Whalen. “We don’t try to kill each other.” I N F O@ P G HC I T Y PA P E R. C OM

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COMING UP SHORT {BY MIKE WYSOCKI} IN 1936, former Pirates shortstop Honus

Wagner was inducted into the ﬁrst class of the Baseball Hall of Fame. The “Flying Dutchman” is the best shortstop in Pittsburgh Pirates history, and likely one of the best overall players. So, as we continue our series on the best Pirates player at every position for the past half-century, we’ll take a look at the best shortstops. In full disclosure, this isn’t a very good list, and I’m pretty sad about that. Wagner was one of the best players in baseball history, and the personnel who have ﬁlled his spot over the years are pretty bleak. The fact that Abraham Nuñez, Pat Meares and Mike Benjamin almost made it shows how lacking in depth the position was. Troubled third baseman Jung Ho Kang didn’t play enough games to qualify at short (two seasons), but he would have placed well. In case you’re wondering, “Harmless” Clint Barmes didn’t make the top 10, but a bunch a guys a lot less famous than him did. 10. Rafael Belliard, the eternal backup,

{CP PHOTO BY CHARLIE DEITCH}

Top 5: Jordy Mercer

stayed in the league just long enough to make this list. Belliard provided neither power (one home run), nor average in his tenure with the Pirates. He did get a World Series ring later with Atlanta. It’s the only championship any pro team in that city has ever won. 9. Freddie Patek must have had one of the smallest strike zones in baseball history. At 5’5”, he was the shortest Major League Baseball player of his time. The 148-

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pounder played back when shortstops wore glasses and choked up on the bat. Thanks to the steroid monsters of the modern era, the likes of Freddie Patek will never be seen again. But give the little guy credit, he had a very respectable pro career. 8. Ronny Cedeño, and no, this is not a joke. Cedeño had the ﬁfth-highest batting average and On Base+Slugging percentage (OPS) of all his peers. A signiﬁcant downgrade from the Jack Wilson years, Cedeño played OK during the Pirates nadir of 2009-2010. In fact, he is still getting paid to play professional baseball in Italy. The UGF Fortitudo Bologna employs him now. Or as we call the team here in Pittsburgh, UGF Fortitudo Jumbo. 7. Dale Berra looked like a 1970s drug dealer who just walked out of a phone booth after calling his guy about some ’Ludes. To be fair, Berra was more into drugs in the 1980s, as a featured member of the “Pittsburgh Cocaine Trials.” He also has the odd distinction of having the longest major-league career as the son of a Hall of Famer. Hall of Fame players simply don’t breed Hall of Fame kids, and Yogi’s kid was no exception. Berra strung together enough passable years to earn the No. 7 spot. 6. Tim Foli really only had one good season with the Pirates, but he picked a good year to do it. In 1979, Foli came over from the Mets to hit .291 in the regular season and .333 in the World Series. Foli averaged one home run in his four years with the team. But what he lacked in power, he lacked even more in speed, averaging just

six stolen bases in his tenure. His overall batting average kind of sucked too, but he was on in October. 5. Frank Taveras had even less power than Tim Foli. In his career, Taveras only hit two home runs, and only one of those went over a fence. The other happened because, man, could he run. In 1977, Taveras led the league with 70 steals. Taveras was traded from the 1979 team to the lowly Mets early in the season. 4. Jordy Mercer is the player who Pirates fans wish was just a little bit better. But statistically speaking, only three Bucco shortstops have had better careers in the last 50 years. Mercer has the secondbest OPS and the fourth-best WAR (wins against replacement) on the list. Nobody ever buys a Mercer jersey, but nobody yells that he should be traded, either. Someday he’ll sit down to write his memoir — Just Good Enough: The Jordy Mercer Story. 3. Gene Alley was half of one of the greatest double-play combinations in history. He and Bill Mazeroski once recorded 161 double plays in a season; that’s still a record. Alley shows up third in almost every single category. That’s why he’s third on the list. A steady defensive player, he won back-to-back Gold Gloves. Alley was just overshadowed in a lineup featuring Maz, Clemente and Stargell. 2. Jack Wilson had the highest batting average and best ﬁelding percentage of all the guys on this list. He was a 12year big-leaguer who never got to play in the postseason. He was solid, underappreciated, never complained and held down shortstop for PNC Park’s ﬁrst nine seasons. Wilson’s nearly decade-long consistency was a stable anchor in an era of tumultuously bad baseball. But Jack ranked second for the “Flying Dutchman” Award for best Pirates shortstop. 1. In the 10 statistical categories measured for this list, Jay Bell was No. 1 in six. Bell had it all: power, speed and a Gold Glove. And getting that Gold Glove required Bell to outplay an icon. Bell broke Ozzie Smith’s 13-year stranglehold on the Gold Glove for National League shortstops. He even did something most on this list didn’t do — hit in the postseason. In the 1991 NLCS, Bell hit .414. Wilson and Alley both had very good careers, but Jay Bell bested them both. Honestly, it wasn’t really even close.

CLINT BARMES DIDN’T MAKE THE TOP 10, BUT A BUNCH A GUYS A LOT LESS FAMOUS THAN HIM DID.

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Smokers Wanted The University of Pittsburgh’s Alcohol and Smoking Research Laboratory is seeking participants for a three-part research project. To participate, you must: • Currently smoke cigarettes • Be 18-55 years old, in good health, and speak ﬂuent English • Be willing to ﬁll out questionnaires, and to not smoke before two sessions.

ASSIST IN MANAGMENT Assist in Mgmt. of multiple business base geotechnical const. projects; Report to Regional Mngr. & Risk Mngr.; Assist in business devt., risk assessment, bid preparation, contract negotiation, & sub. procurement; Resp. for design submissions, material ordering, & pre-job planning & scheduling; Create & review project cost reports, budgets, & cash ﬂow; Liaison for clients & subs.; Review & submit project change orders & work orders; Provide technical, QA/ QC, & admin. support to all Project Mngrs.; Ensure projects comply w/ company QA/QC regs. & OSHA safety regs. Must possess MS Engineering Degree in Civil, Const., Materials, Structural, or a related engineering ﬁeld, or its Equiv. & 10 Hr OSHA Cert. in Const. Safety. Prior exp. w/in geotechnical industry w/ geotechnical equipment, drawings, materials, surveys, designs, and consulting on projects is preferred. Overnight Travel often required. Cover Letter, Resume, Salary, & 3 Ref. Letters to Nicholson Construction Company, Job Code NC172131MC, 2400 Ansys Drive, Suite 303, Canonsburg, PA 15317.

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GRAND OPENING!!! Best of the Best in Town! 420 W. Market St., Warren, OH 44481 76 West, 11 North, 82 West to Market St. 6 lights and make a left. 1/4 mile on the left hand side.

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Drivers WANTED Pittsburgh City Paper needs friendly drivers to work (early morning hours) to distribute in the Pittsburgh area. Interested candidates must have a clean DMV history and current proof of insurance. Regular lifting of up to 50 lbs is required. Heavy, bulk retail delivery to distribution sites weekly.

Pittsburgh Liberty K-5 Playground Improvements General Construction Prime Contract Project Manual and Drawings will be available for purchase on April 10, 2017 at Modern Reproductions (412-488-7700), 127 McKean Street, Pittsburgh, Pa., 15219

Must have a full-size truck/van.

between 9:00 A.M. and 4:00 P.M. The cost of the Project Manual Documents is non-refundable. Project details and dates are described in each project manual. We are an equal rights and opportunity school district. Parent Hotline: 412-622-7920 www.pps.k12.pa.us MUSIC

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GETTING YOUR DIGS IN

{BY BRENDAN EMMETT QUIGLEY / WWW.BRENDANEMMETTQUIGLEY.COM}

ACROSS 1. Thing dropped to “level” some rooms 6. Scotland yard makeup? 11. Ultimate place 15. “Bad news” 16. Mystery writer Gardner and people named after him 17. Floating 18. Two things that might tickle a “Doctor Who” superfan? 21. Outmoded footwear 22. Immune system fighter 23. Purple hue 26. “I don’t like it” 27. Max Scherzer stat 28. Made members of a colony mingle? 35. “Seinfeld” character who goes postal 37. Soccer star Suárez 38. And the like: Abbr. 39. Sweet wine 40. Turbaned fellow 41. “Me too” 42. Russian oligarch Deripaska 43. Clothing spec 44. Superhero alias of Hank Pym 45. Two roots used in salads? 48. Mason’s rival

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49. Signal to start acting 50. M portrayer in the latest Bond series 52. “Princess Mononoke” genre 55. Late 58. BDSM figure who remains unused? 63. All crazy 64. Money recipient 65. False step 66. Brazilian soccer legend 67. Breed, as salmon 68. Scrum sport

DOWN 1. In shape 2. Dramaturgy deg. 3. Poet’s contraction 4. Madonna’s nickname 5. “Bohemian Rhapsody” guitarist 6. Loin cutter 7. Seaside bird 8. “I ignored that epic email you sent me” in Internet shorthand 9. Goaltending callers 10. Atlanta-toSavannah dir. 11. Most sporadic 12. Social activist Arthur 13. Recite, with “off” 14. Marx brother? 19. Non-violent protest

20. Somewhat 23. Wise teacher 24. Nipple ring 25. Stared at open-mouthed 26. Public transport 29. Actress Dushku 30. Punched with the fists 31. Medicinal funding org. 32. Part of a flower 33. Huskwrapped treat 34. Moves stealthily 36. 2012 cult film about male strippers 40. Baronet’s title 41. Busch’s brewing partner

43. Her over there 44. “___ from that ...” 46. Takes to court 47. Kind of logical statement 51. Gandhi’s father 52. Like right now 53. Famous person 54. Famous person 55. Info 56. Editor Wintour 57. Fret over 59. Brady scores: Abbr. 60. Bit of energy 61. Softball pitch path 62. Use a skillet {LAST WEEK’S ANSWERS}

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FOR THE WEEK OF

Free Will Astrology

04.12-04.19

{BY ROB BREZSNY}

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Before visiting Sicily for the first time, American poet Billy Collins learned to speak Italian. In his poem “By a Swimming Pool Outside Siracusa,” he describes how the new language is changing his perspective. If he were thinking in English, he might say that the gin he’s drinking while sitting alone in the evening light “has softened my mood.” But the newly Italianized part of his mind would prefer to say that the gin “has allowed my thoughts to traverse my brain with greater gentleness” and “has extended permission to my mind to feel a friendship with the vast sky.” Your assignment in the coming week, Aries, is to Italianize your view of the world. Infuse your thoughts with expansive lyricism and voluptuous relaxation. If you’re Italian, celebrate and amplify your Italianness.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): It’s closing time. You have finished toiling in the shadow of an old sacred cow. You’ve climaxed your relationship with ill-fitting ideas that you borrowed from mediocre and inappropriate teachers once upon a time. And you can finally give up your quest for a supposed Holy Grail that never actually existed in the first place. It’s time to move on to the next chapter of your life story, Taurus! You have been authorized to graduate from any influence, attachment and attraction that wouldn’t serve your greater good in the future. Does this mean you’ll soon be ready to embrace more freedom than you have in years? I’m betting on it.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): The heaviest butterfly on the planet is the female Queen Victorian birdwing. It tips the scales at two grams. The female Queen Alexandra birdwing is the butterfly with the longest wingspan: more than 12 inches. These two creatures remind me of you these days. Like them, you’re

freakishly beautiful. You’re a marvelous and somewhat vertiginous spectacle. The tasks you’re working on are graceful and elegant, yet also big and weighty. Because of your intensity, you may not look flight-worthy, but you’re actually quite aerodynamic. In fact, your sorties are dazzling and influential. Though your acrobatic zigzags seem improbable, they’re effective.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Picasso had mixed feelings about his fellow painter Marc Chagall, who was born under the sign of Cancer. “I’m not crazy about his roosters and donkeys and flying violinists, and all the folklore,” Picasso said, referring to the subject matter of Chagall’s compositions. But he also felt that Chagall was one of the only painters “who understands what color really is,” adding, “There’s never been anybody since Renoir who has the feeling for light that Chagall has.” I suspect that in the coming weeks, you will be the recipient of mixed messages like these. Praise and disapproval may come your way.

get your yoga on!

Recognition and neglect. Kudos and apathy. Please don’t dwell on the criticism and downplay the applause. In fact, do the reverse!

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): “Go Tell It on the Mountain” is the title of an old gospel song, and now it’s the metaphorical theme of your horoscope. I advise you to climb a tall peak — even if it’s just a magic mountain in your imagination — and deliver the spicy monologue that has been marinating within you. It would be great if you could gather a sympathetic audience for your revelations, but that’s not mandatory to achieve the necessary catharsis. You simply need to be gazing at the big picture as you declare your big, ripe truths.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): If you were a snake, it would be a fine time to molt your skin. If you were a river, it would be a perfect moment to overflow your banks in a spring flood. If you were an office worker, it would be an excellent phase to trade in your claustrophobic cubicle for a spacious new niche. In other words, Virgo, you’re primed to outgrow at least one of your containers. The boundaries you knew you would have to transgress some day are finally ready to be transgressed. Even now, your attention span is expanding and your imagination is stretching.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22):

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For more than a century, the Ringsaker Lutheran Church in Buxton, N.D., hosted rites of passage, including 362 baptisms, 50 marriages and 97 funerals. It closed in 2002, a victim of the area’s shrinking population. I invite you to consider the possibility that this can serve as a useful metaphor for you, Libra. Is there a place that has been a sanctuary for you, but has begun to lose its magic? Is there a traditional power spot from which the power has been ebbing? Has a holy refuge evolved into a mundane hang-out? If so, mourn for a while, then go in search of a vibrant replacement.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Most people throw away lemon rinds, walnut shells and pomegranate skins. But some resourceful types find uses for these apparent wastes. Lemon rind can serve as a deodorizer, cleaner and skin tonic, as well as a zesty ingredient in recipes. Ground-up walnut shells work well in facial scrubs and pet bedding. When made into a powder, pomegranate peels have a variety of applications for skin care. I suggest you look for metaphorically similar things, Scorpio. You’re typically inclined to dismiss the surfaces, discard the packaging and ignore the outer layers, but I urge you to consider the possibility that right now they may have value.

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER

04.12/04.19.2017

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): You’re growing too fast, but that’s fine as long as you don’t make people around you feel they’re moving too slowly. You know too much, but that won’t be a problem as long as you don’t act snooty. And you’re almost too attractive for your own good, but that won’t hurt you as long as you overflow with spontaneous generosity. What I’m trying to convey, Sagittarius, is that your excesses are likely to be more beautiful than chaotic, more fertile than confusing. And that should provide you with plenty of slack when dealing with cautious folks who are a bit rattled by your lust for life.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Until recently, scientists believed the number of trees on the planet was about 400 billion. But research published in the journal Nature says that’s wrong. There are actually three trillion trees on earth — almost eight times more than was previously thought. In a similar way, I suspect you have also underestimated certain resources that are personally available to you, Capricorn. Now is a good time to correct your undervaluation. Summon the audacity to recognize the potential abundance you have at your disposal. Then make plans to tap into it with a greater sense of purpose.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): The poet John Keats identified a quality he called “negative capability.” He defined it as the power to calmly accept “uncertainties, mysteries and doubts without any irritable reaching after fact and reason.” I would extend the meaning to include three other things not to be irritably reached for: artificial clarity, premature resolution and simplistic answers. Now is an excellent time to learn more about this fine art, Aquarius.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Are you ready for a riddle that’s more enjoyable than the kind you’re used to? I’m not sure if you are. You may be too jaded to embrace this unusual gift. You could assume it’s another one of the crazy-making cosmic jokes that have sometimes tormented you in the past. But I hope that doesn’t happen. I hope you’ll welcome the riddle in the liberating spirit in which it’s offered. If you do, you’ll be pleasantly surprised as it teases you in ways you didn’t know you wanted to be teased. You’ll feel a delightful itch or a soothing burn in your secret self, like a funny-bone feeling that titillates your immortal soul. P.S. To take full advantage of the blessed riddle, you may have to expand your understanding of what’s good for you. The answer to a pressing question will come within 72 hours after you do a ritual in which you ask for clarity.

GO TO REALASTROLOGY.COM TO CHECK OUT ROB BREZSNY’S EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES AND DAILY TEXT-MESSAGE HOROSCOPES. THE AUDIO HOROSCOPES ARE ALSO AVAILABLE BY PHONE AT 1-877-873-4888 OR 1-900-950-7700

Savage Love {BY DAN SAVAGE}

I’ve read your column for as long as I had access to the internet and was interested in sex, so here goes: I’m a 27-year-old male with a 42-year-old girlfriend. We met at work; we were both going through divorce. At the beginning, holy moly! My dream girl in the bedroom. We’ve been together for a year, and the sex is still the best I’ve ever had — she says she feels the same — but it’s vanilla. I am assertive and in-control in the bedroom, which works for both of us, as she prefers to be passive and wants me to make moves or switch it up. I want to do other things, but she doesn’t want to do anything anymore other than missionary-position sex. Anal, oral, watching porn together, bondage, voyeurism — she’s not up for any of it. There’s always an excuse: “I’m not young like you,” “I’m not flexible like you,” “I have done that before and don’t like it, no, no, no.” Do I just suck it up and be grateful for what I have or what? SHE HATES OPTIONS TOTALLY, DESIRES ONE WAY NOW

She wants you to be in control and switch it up but doesn’t want to do any of the things you suggest when you take control and attempt to switch things up. Hmm. Either you’re bad at everything you’ve attempted other than missionary, SHOTDOWN, or she has a very limited sexual repertoire and/or actual physical limitations or health issues she hasn’t divulged to you. Considering the age difference here, and considering that this is a post-divorce rebound relationship for you both, the odds are stacked against anything long term. I don’t mean this relationship is doomed to fail. What I mean is this: You’ll probably be together for another year or two before parting ways. While most people would define that as a “failed relationship,” anyone who’s been reading my column for as long as he’s been interested in sex can tell you that I don’t define failure that way. If two people are together for a time, if they enjoy each other’s company (and genitals), if they part amicably and always remember each other fondly and/or remain friends, their relationship can be counted as a success. In the meantime, SHOTDOWN, enjoy the amazing vanilla sex for as long as it lasts — which could be forever. My BF and I have been dating for two years. He’s 21; I’m 20 (and female). When I noticed my boyfriend wanted his ass played with and liked being submissive, I couldn’t help but wonder if something more was going on. I snooped through his browser history (not my proudest moment) and found he was looking at pictures of naked men. Then I saw he posted an ad on Craigslist under “men seeking men.” He responded to one person, saying he wasn’t sure if he was straight or bi, but he had a car and could drive over! The guy responded saying how about tonight, and my BF never responded to him. I confronted him. He explained it was just a fantasy he had, he’s totally straight, and he was never planning on going through with it. After the dust settled, he told me he never wanted to lose me. We then went to a sex shop and bought a strapon dildo for me to use on him, which we both really enjoy. He bought me a diamond bracelet as an apology and promised never to fuck up again. A couple months have passed, and things are great, but I still feel

bothered. He loves my tits, ass and pussy. He eats me out and initiates sex as often as I do. Just cuddling with me gets him hard. Which is why I’m even more perplexed. He doesn’t like to talk about the Craigslist incident and gets upset when I bring it up. Should I leave it alone? Is my boyfriend secretly gay? CONFUSED AND CURIOUS

Let’s review the facts: Your boyfriend digs your tits, cuddling you makes him hard, and he loves eating your pussy. You also discovered an ad your boyfriend posted to Craigslist where he said he wasn’t sure if he was bi or straight, a discovery that created a crisis in your relationship, a crisis that was resolved with a strap-on dildo and a diamond bracelet. Your boyfriend isn’t “secretly gay,” CAC, he’s “actually bisexual.” At this point, I’m required to tell you that bisexuals are just as capable of honoring monogamous commitments as monosexuals. But since the data shows that monosexuals are bad at monogamy — the data says bisexuals are too — I’m not sure why I’m required to say that or how it’s supposed to be comforting. But even if your boyfriend never has sex with a man, CAC, even if it takes him years to drop the “totally straight” line, you should go ahead and accept the fact that your boyfriend is bisexual. Pretend to be shocked when he finally comes out to you — there might be a necklace in it for you — and then get busy setting up your first MMF threesome. My girlfriend and I have been together for about 18 months. We’re both 29: We live together, we have a great social life, we adopted a dog. We’re compatible, and I do love her. However, our sex life could be a whole lot better. I like sex to be kinky, and she likes it vanilla. She is adamant about monogamy, while I want to be monogamish. I feel strongly that this is who I am sexually and my sexual desires are not something I can change. My girlfriend thinks I’m searching for something I’ll never find and says I need to work through it. Because we are so compatible in every other aspect of our relationship, should I keep trying to work past the unsatisfying sex? NEEDS ADVICE, WANT THREESOMES

Divorce courts are filled to bursting with couples who made the same mistake you and your girlfriend are currently making — a mistake that gets harder to unmake with every dog you adopt or lease you sign. You’re not sexually compatible, NAWT — and sexual incompatibility is a perfectly legitimate reason to end an otherwise good relationship. The importance of sexual compatibility in sexually exclusive relationships (the kind your girlfriend wants) cannot be stressed enough. Sexual compatibility is important in open and/ or monogamish relationships too, of course, but there are work-arounds in an open relationship. There are people out there who have the kind of relationship you would like to have and I have it on good authority that many of these people are straight. You’ll never find everything you want, NAWT, since no one gets everything they want. But you’re too young to settle for the girlfriend you’ve got. You’ve already made the dog mistake. Get out before you make the child mistake. On the Lovecast, an interview with the creator of the Love Is Love comics collection: savagelovecast.com.

SEND YOUR QUESTIONS TO MAIL@SAVAGELOVE.NET AND FIND THE SAVAGE LOVECAST (DAN’S WEEKLY PODCAST) AT SAVAGELOVECAST.COM

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{CP PHOTO BY JOHN COLOMBO}

Behind the bar at happy hour at The Yard in Shadyside

MAGIC HOUR {BY DREW CRANINSKY}

HAPPY HOUR is a magical thing. It offers respite after a rough day, an incentive to try out somewhere new, and a chance to save a few bucks at your favorite watering hole. Below, check out our picks for some of the happiest hours in town. Oh, and remember to tip on the full bill: Your bartender works just as hard, half-priced drinks or not.

The Foundry Table & Tap, 381 North Shore Drive, North Side: A recent addition to the booming area around the stadiums, The Foundry is the perfect place to grab a drink before a game or concert. From 4-6 p.m., enjoy half-priced drafts and house wine, along with $5 signature cocktails and $6 small plates, including pork-belly bites and haluski.

Full Pint Wild Side Pub, 5308 Butler St., Lawrenceville: In 2015, Full Pint Brewing, a fixture of Pittsburgh’s beer scene, opened a satellite pub in Lawrenceville. Though they don’t brew there, they do offer a wide selection of Full Pint drafts, from popular staples like White Lightning to experimental sours and barrel-aged beers. Stop by between 5 and 6:30 p.m. to get any of them at half off.

Hidden Harbor, 1708 Shady Ave., Squirrel Hill: When Hidden Harbor says happy hour, they mean it. Tuesday through Friday, get there between 5-6 p.m. for half off a special menu of 10 tiki classics. The drinks, which include perfectly balanced Mai Tais and Painkillers, are full strength and fully garnished: The only thing they skimp on is the price.

Kaya, 2000 Smallman St., Strip District: Kaya is a staple on best-happy-hour lists, and it’s not hard to see why. From classic mojitos and inventive originals

(like the mezcal-based Smoke & Ginger) to rotating craft drafts, nearly every drink on the menu is half off from 4:30-6:30 p.m. Take a trip to the tropics without the expensive plane ticket.

Mad Mex, multiple locations: Stop by a Mad Mex between 4:30 and 6:30 p.m. for “Happy Hora.” House margaritas, including the whopping 22-ounce “Big Azz,” are deeply discounted, and drafts are all half off. The draft list is particularly impressive at the North Hills location. A rare barrel-aged imperial stout? For four bucks? Yes, please.

booze with $5 tapas. And Seviche boasts the white whale of discount drinking: a Saturday happy hour.

Sharp Edge, multiple locations: Sharp Edge has long been Pittsburgh’s destination for Belgian beer. Unfortunately, those rare imported beers often come with a hefty price tag. Not to worry: Swing by between 4:30 and 6:30 p.m. to get half off all Belgian and craft drafts. And with a location Downtown, a potent Belgian tripel is the perfect antidote to a rough day at the office.

Smallman Galley, Rivertowne, multiple locations:

54 21st St., Strip District:

You can get other beers at Rivertowne’s four locations, but the company’s own brews are so diverse and so delicious that there’s really no need. The happy-hour offerings are generally the same at all four locations — North Side, Verona, Monroeville and North Huntingdon — from 4-6 p.m. weekdays. At the location near PNC Park, for example, it’s $2 off drafts, $1 off bottles, $1 off well drinks and $3 snacks. Beers range from Always a Home Game, a traditional golden lager, to Hala Kahiki, a crisp, tasty pineapple beer.

With its unique food hall/restaurant-incubator concept, Smallman Galley already had a lot going for it. Then it added a killer happy hour. From 5-7 p.m., Tuesday through Friday, get half off all cocktails, wine and beer, served up by one of the best bar teams in the city. Sitting just a stone’s throw from Kaya, there’s no better block for post-work tippling.

Seviche, 930 Penn Ave., Downtown: At Seviche’s happy hour, options range from cheap to crazy cheap. From 4:30-6:30 p.m., grab a $5 mango margarita, a $4 glass of cabernet or a Negra Modelo for a measly three bucks. Plus, you can soak up all that cheap

The Yard, multiple locations: At its locations in Market Square and Shadyside, The Yard offers comfort food and a wide selection of craft drafts. In addition to the usual happy-hour suspects (discount drafts, half-off apps), adventurous drinkers can take a chance on the $5 drink of the day. And with rotating specials every night, the party keeps rolling after happy hour ends. INFO@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER

04.12/04.19.2017

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