May 3, 2017 - Pittsburgh City Paper by Pittsburgh City Paper

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Factory Swing Shift

The Factory stays up late! EVENTS 5.11 – 8pm SOUND SERIES: SAN FERMIN WITH SPECIAL GUESTS LOW ROAR The Warhol entrance space Co-presented with WYEP 91.3FM Tickets $15/$12 members & students; VIP $65

5.20 – 10am TEACHER WORKSHOP: ART AND ACTIVISM Presented in conjunction with our collaborative public art project Activist Print. Tickets $30

5.26 – 8pm SOUND SERIES: NIGHTLANDS WITH SPECIAL GUEST THE BUILDING The Warhol theater Tickets $15/$12 members & students

5.27 – 6pm LGBTQ+ YOUTH PROM The Warhol entrance space Tickets $5/$10 door

6.16 – 5-9:30pm FACTORY SWING SHIFT The Factory stays up late! Free with museum admission

5.19 – 5-9:30pm The Factory, Free with museum admission

Visit our hands-on underground studio to make art after dark during Factory Swing Shift. Visitors can drop in to experiment with a range of materials and techniques in a relaxed creative environment with skilled artist educators, special guests, and music. This program is presented as part of Art Museum Day 2017. NEWS

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The Andy Warhol Museum receives state arts funding support through a grant from the Pennsylvania Council on the Arts, a state agency funded by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania; the National Endowment for the Arts, a federal agency and The Heinz Endowments. Further support is provided by the Allegheny Regional Asset District.

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER

05.03/05.10.2017

05.03/05.10.2017 VOLUME 27 + ISSUE 18

[EDITORIAL] Editor CHARLIE DEITCH News Editor REBECCA ADDISON Arts & Entertainment Editor BILL O’DRISCOLL Associate Editor AL HOFF Web Producer ALEX GORDON Staff Writers RYAN DETO, CELINE ROBERTS Music Writer MEG FAIR

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“WELCH’S CAMPAIGN HAS BEEN VERY MUCH IGNORED IN A LOT OF COMMUNITIES.”

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AST WEEK, Pittsburgh Mayor Bill

Peduto got some new neighbors after tents were erected next to his home in Point Breeze. While no one has taken credit for the demonstration, the stunt is believed to be in response to complaints from North Side residents over a homeless tent community in their neighborhood. Some believe the demonstration was spearheaded by Pittsburgh City Councilor Darlene Harris, who represents the North Side and who is running against Peduto in the upcoming election. “Councilwoman Harris is exploiting some of our most vulnerable neighbors,” Peduto said in a April 28 statement. “In Pittsburgh we proudly take care of each other and help our neighbors in need. These

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are human beings, not political pawns.” The demonstration near Peduto’s home is just the latest spectacle in this year’s mayoral primary election, which pits Peduto against Harris and challenger Rev.

Can John Welch rise above the circus surrounding the mayoral election and criticism from the left to unseat Bill Peduto? {BY REBECCA ADDISON} John Welch. As a longtime opponent of the mayor, both Harris’ standing in government and her penchant for spectacle has overshadowed Welch who, while equally

critical of the mayor, hasn’t garnered the same level of attention. “Welch’s campaign has been very much ignored in a lot of communities,” says activist and former school board director Randall Taylor, a Welch supporter. “Harris is an interesting Pittsburgh ﬁgure; she’s well known. She’ll say provocative things and that’s always more interesting to some people. “There’s an aspect of politics that is show business. She’ll say something wild and that’s always going to get more interest than someone who’s really trying to talk about issues. He’s not screaming and hollering; he’s not making outrageous statements, he’s just talking about policy.” If the history of mayoral elections in this city have taught us one thing, it’s that

a three-person mayoral race doesn’t bode well for the two challengers against the incumbent. However, Welch is contending against even greater odds. While much of the press surrounding Harris hasn’t been positive, the candidate has had far more news articles written about her this campaign season. Further hurting Welch’s campaign are complaints from progressives. While Welch is running to the political left of Peduto — highlighting the need for affordable housing and policies to fight poverty and uplift minorities — many liberals say the reverend’s social views aren’t those of a progressive candidate. “You have Welch who has his housing and poverty agenda, which is important,” says Sue Kerr, an LGBT blogger and activist. “But he’s not really left if he’s not pro-choice, and we don’t know where he stands on LGBT issues.” Ultimately, for Welch, the election will come down to whether he can put enough distance between himself and progressive Peduto — who many believe has earned his designation as the city’s most progressive mayor — and whether his message can rise above the circus surrounding Harris. April was a big month for Harris in the media. It started with her failing to file a required campaign-finance report with the city’s Ethics Hearing Board. Later in the month, Pittsburgh City Paper posted a video of a driver, believed to be Harris, shouting at a cyclist. (The cyclist identified Harris as the driver, the voice on the tape sounds like her, and the vehicle is hers.) And perhaps the most headlines involving Harris came after she posted pictures of herself riding an elephant and camel at a recent circus here. But despite the attention she’s received, Harris doesn’t appear to be running much of a campaign besides showing up to debates and sticking it to Peduto. Over the past few months, she hasn’t responded to multiple interview requests from CP, and she doesn’t have a website where voters can learn about her platform. “The councilwoman can’t even seem to file her forms correctly,” says Christopher Nicholas, a veteran political consultant. “That’s a sign that the campaign is not really organized.” But Harris, who’s long been entrenched in local Democratic Party politics, does have her supporters. She received 245 votes for the Allegheny County Democratic endorsement, but was beaten by Peduto’s 372. “I see Darlene Harris as a necessary

generations, and generations and they’re not really seeing how they can participate in this new Pittsburgh. We need to not forget about the other people. I represent a demographic that has been left out.” For his part, Welch says, “I really don’t think my campaign’s been affected at all by Harris entering the race.” But he is cognizant of the complaints from those on the left about his stance on abortion and the LGBT community. At a recent candidate forum, Welch, the dean of students at Pittsburgh Theological Seminary, said he is both prochoice and pro-life, citing instances like sexual assault as exceptions. And Welch failed to fill out an endorsement questionnaire from the Steel City Stonewall Democrats, an LGBT organization. “I think a lot of people have made assumptions that because I’m clergy, I’m not pro-LGBTQ, and they’ve made assumptions that because I did not fill out the questionnaire, my silence says I’m not supportive,” Welch says. “I am very much for women’s rights and I am very much for LGBTQIA rights.” Welch says he received the Stonewall Democrats’ questionnaire too late to complete. But Kerr says such things are important for finding out where a candidate CONTINUES ON PG. 08

evil,” says Kerr. “I don’t agree with a lot of the things she does, but she has some very good points, too. I think it’s really important that there is a check on the mayor, and I think Darlene ﬁlls that role even if it’s in a way that isn’t ideal. As a foil in the race, I think that is important because she’s a reminder that there’s other constituents whose needs need addressed. “People run in primaries for different reasons and it does help ﬂesh out some of the issues. Darlene has helped keep Peduto on his toes a little bit and that’s a good thing.” One topic that Harris and her fellow challenger Welch have shone a light on is the lack of affordable housing in the city. Both Harris and Welch have told stories throughout the campaign of residents being forced out of their neighborhoods by rising rents. It’s stories like these that Welch says inspired him to enter the race to begin with. “The main issues in the city of Pittsburgh and this campaign to date has been around affordable housing,” Welch tells CP. “I’m excited about this race. I think people in all of our neighborhoods really need to be represented. There are people who have lived in Pittsburgh for

“HE’S NOT SCREAMING AND HOLLERING.”

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stands on the issues. (Harris didn’t complete the questionnaire either.) “My concern is there’s a clear backlash against the LGBT community around the country and it’s really important that we hold Democrats to at least the standard of the party, and that includes a lot of the things Welch represents — anti-poverty, affordable housing — but it also includes LGBT equality as well as protecting reproductive justice and a woman’s right to choose,” Kerr says. “Bill Peduto has a stellar record on LGBT issues; he’s been an ally for a long time and he has the record to prove that. John Welch doesn’t. And that’s why these questionnaires are important. He’s never held public office.” Even if Welch does earn support from the left, experts say it’s very difficult for a non-incumbent candidate to win a three-person race, especially someone like Welch who hasn’t ever held public office. “The reverend seems very passionate, but he’s a dean at a seminary; he’s very far afield from the rough-and-tumble political life of big-city Democratic machines,” says Nicholas. “If you’re an incumbent, the best-case scenario is if you’re unopposed. The next best scenario

is that you have multiple opponents, and that way any vote against you will go to multiple places. “What you have here is if you don’t like Peduto for whatever reason, you have option one and option two. Now those votes are going to be split up.” The odds are typically stacked against challengers in Pittsburgh mayoral elections, where incumbents almost always ﬁnd themselves on a path to an easy victory. “When was the last time there was a contentious primary for mayor in Pittsburgh?” Nicholas says. “So it’s not surprising that an incumbent mayor is going to roll through re-election.” Despite the odds, Welch and his supporters say there’s still hope. Additionally, they say Welch’s message that minorities and low-income communities in the city are being left behind is an important one that will resonate with voters. “I think there’s certainly a path for Welch to win this election,” Taylor says. “But it’s hard to get that message out there. It’s difﬁcult for someone in Welch’s position to get the word out because he’s not as provocative. It’s unfortunate; I do think he has a message that needs heard.” RA D D I S ON @ P G H C I T Y PA P E R. C OM

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★ MAYOR OF PITTSBURGH ★

UNDER THE BIG TOP

There has been a bit of a circus-like atmosphere surrounding this year’s mayoral primary election, which pits long-time rivals Mayor Bill Peduto and Pittsburgh City Councilor Darlene Harris against each other, along with local activist Rev. John Welch. But beyond the smoke and mirrors, there are major issues at the center of this race, and while the candidates agree on some things, they disagree on the best way for Pittsburgh to be a “city for all.” {COMPILED BY REBECCA ADDISON}

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2 12 6 E . C a r s o n S t Harris has represented District 1 on Pittsburgh City Council for a decade and served as council president from 2010 to 2014. Prior to that, she served on the school board of the Pittsburgh Public School District from 1995 to 2003. She founded the North Side Leadership Conference and the North Side Public Safety Council.

Peduto is serving his first term as Pittsburgh mayor. He represented District 8 on Pittsburgh City Council from 2002 to 2014, during which time he was involved in the $2 billion of redevelopment in the East End. Prior to that, Peduto worked as chief of staff for his District 8 predecessor, Dan Cohen.

For 22 years, Welch worked in computer technology and information systems. In 1999, he became the pastor of Bidwell Presbyterian Church. He is currently the vice president for student services and community engagement, and dean of students at Pittsburgh Theological Seminary. Welch also served as president of the Pittsburgh Interfaith Impact Network for six years.

Harris says she wouldn’t micromanage the Pittsburgh Bureau of Police. She says morale on the force is low and a lot of officers are leaving the city, but she supports the police residency requirement. She doesn’t support marijuana decriminalization.

Peduto touts the hiring of former Police Chief Cameron McLay, who was committed to improving communitypolice relations. He says the number of cases reviewed by the Citizens Police Review Board has gone down during his tenure. He supports the police residency requirement and marijuana decriminalization.

Welch says the key to improving community-police relations is to increase diversity on the force. He also helped the city construct its unbiased policing policy. He supports the police residency requirement and marijuana decriminalization.

Harris is a vocal opponent of bike lanes. For several years, she has said they are a waste of the city’s resources. She says they hurt small-business owners by reducing available parking. And she also says they’ve decreased accessibility for people with disabilities, as well as hindering emergency vehicles.

Peduto is a vocal supporter of bike lanes and says they improve safety for those who can’t afford a car or those who don’t want to own one. He also emphasizes that the money the city spends on bike lanes is one-tenth of 1 percent of the city’s budget.

Welch has been critical of bike lanes, saying the funds could be devoted to what he sees as more pressing issues like addressing the lead levels in the city’s water. But he also says Pittsburgh’s bike lanes aren’t always safe for cyclists and believes the city should re-evaluate where bike lanes are located and how they connect to the city’s trailways.

Harris believes residents shouldn’t be forced out of their neighborhoods due to rising rents and housing prices. She says she wouldn’t make deals with developers looking to build market-rate housing. And Harris says the city’s land bank, which she voted against, hasn’t been successful.

Peduto says the city is addressing the need for affordable housing with a low-income tax credit that allows the city to build hundreds of affordablehousing units every year. He also touts the affordable-housing trust fund and land bank, which are still being developed, as future initiatives that will increase affordable housing. And he cites the city’s work to relocate displaced Penn Plaza residents.

Welch supports mandatory inclusionary zoning, which would require a percentage of new construction to be affordable housing. He says the city hasn’t made affordable housing a priority or taken precautions to address the crisis low-income residents currently face. He also says raising wages is key to making sure residents can afford housing.

Harris has not publicized any endorsement in this race. She received 245 votes for the Allegheny County Democratic endorsement, but was beaten by Peduto.

Endorsed by the Allegheny County Democratic Committee, Planned Parenthood, the Allegheny County Central Labor Council and Steel City Stonewall Democrats.

Welch’s website features several testimonial endorsements from members of local religious organizations.

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★ PITTSBURGH CITY COUNCIL DISTRICT 4 ★

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SOUTH HILLS SHOWDOWN

The candidates seeking to replace Pittsburgh City Councilor Natalia Rudiak offer somewhat similar visions, but hold different allegiances. Ashleigh Deemer has the backing of progressive groups and younger politicians, while Anthony Coghill gets support from long-time Democratic Party leaders, like state Sen. Wayne Fontana and Allegheny County Executive Rich Fitzgerald.

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Beechview native and owner of a roofing company; currently serves as the Democratic Party chair for 19th Ward. Coghill is running as the “Back to Basics” candidate and is promising to increase the response to community concerns, like clean neighborhoods and public services in the district.

Rudiak’s current chief of staff and Beechview resident wants to continue Rudiak’s push to create a city-wide universal pre-K program. As Rudiak’s right hand, worked to help secure a multi-modal transportation infrastructure grant for Broadway Avenue in Beechview. Wants to see similar, modernizing improvements for other neighborhood main streets.

Is opposed to raising the city’s realty-transfer tax to fund affordablehousing trust fund, saying the tax is already too high and raising it would burden people wanting to move into the district. But he believes the fund should be financed through state or federal monies, or through contributions from the local foundations.

Wants Pittsburgh to fund the city’s affordable-housing trust fund, ideally with state funding or a payment-inlieu-of-taxes from area nonprofits, but will support the 1 percent increase in realty-transfer tax if other options don’t materialize. Says district could use funds to repair/rehab single-family homes and keep them affordable.

Advocates for more mitigation of the lead-pipe water issue; says city must move beyond supplying filters, calling them just a “quick fix.” Against the privatization of water utilities. Says relationship with Fontana will help get a bill passed in Harrisburg to fund the replacement of lead water pipes.

Says less investment in street paving has hurt the district; advocates a strategic approach to tackling road paving. Wants to improve connections between small business and the Urban Redevelopment Authority to attract development to tackle blight and improve business districts, particularly on Brookline Boulevard and Brownsville Road.

Emphasizes the need for additional treatment to combat overdose problems. Says he will combat this through working with Fitzgerald to secure more beds in District 4 treatment facilities and says police should come down harder on drug dealers. Says his relationship with the police union could help to bring in more resources.

Along with Rudiak, started the South Pittsburgh Opioid Action Coalition to organize political and community action toward the opioid issue. Believes that organized lobbying for constructive bills in Harrisburg can help address the issue, instead of just policing the problem.

Endorsed by the Allegheny County Democratic Party, Fitzgerald, Fontana, state Rep. Harry Readshaw, City Councilor Theresa Kail-Smith, as well as labor unions like the Fraternal Order of Police and Steamfitters Local Union 449.

Received support from progressive organizations like the Sierra Club and Service Employees International Union 32BJ, as well as endorsements from Allegheny County Controller Chelsa Wagner, City Councilor Deb Gross, Stonewall Democrats and the Pittsburgh Federation of Teachers.

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SIMILAR STORIES

Longtime Democratic incumbent Jim Ellenbogen is facing Democratic challenger Bob Palmosina for the part-time Allegheny County Council seat representing Pittsburgh’s South Hills and West End. Each candidate has decades of experience in area public-works departments, and both embrace new residents of all backgrounds moving to the district. Their differences are subtle and lie in the details.

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BIOGRAPHY

Worked in Pittsburgh Public Works Department for more than 30 years and is now the director of public works in Collier Township. Says he wants to serve on county council, because his three sons are now adults, giving him more time to give back and serve his community.

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Says council needs to take steps to make more funds available to tackle the spike in overdose deaths. Also believes increasing communication between Allegheny County’s Health Department and its Human Services Department could go a long way in tackling the epidemic.

Supports Allegheny County Sheriff Bill Mullen’s plan to pick up and dispose of unneeded pain medications. Also wants to increase educational programs to teach youths and adults how to better detect the signs of addiction and overdoses.

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JIM ELLENBOGEN

Served many years as an administrator in the Pittsburgh Public Works Department and currently works for the Pennsylvania Department of Revenue. Has lived in the 12th District for more than 20 years and touts his independent voting record; has voted across party lines many times on council.

Voted in favor of allowing fracking underneath Deer Lakes Park, but against fracking near the Pittsburgh International Airport. Says he had to weigh economic impacts and community opposition. Says he will proceed with “extreme caution” when considering future fracking votes.

Says he needs to learn more about fracking before weighing in on potential county decisions, but recognizes the money it can bring in. Advocates for increased meetings, so he and the community can assess the pros and cons of future gas-drilling sites.

Is encouraged by the development coming to Beechview and the upcoming project to modernize Broadway Avenue. Wants more projects like these to attract young families to the area. Also approves of immigrant families moving to the district, calling them “hard-working.”

Is excited to see new construction in District 12, including projects in Mount Washington, Beechview and the old Parkway Center Mall site. Wants to work to bring projects that will improve roads and public services, like parks and baseball fields.

Says he avoided seeking the Democratic Party endorsement, arguing endorsements aren’t worth it. Did receive an endorsement from Vote Pro Life.

Endorsed by the Allegheny County Democratic Party, and is the current chairman of Pittsburgh’s 20th Ward Democratic Committee. Also endorsed by Pittsburgh’s Fraternal Order of Police and firefighter groups in District 12.

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Rev. Dr. John C. Welch is a Democratic candidate for Mayor who will help make Pittsburgh a city that is inclusive and affordable for all with fair community development and improved opportunities for those historically left out. John is a native of Pittsburgh and a Homewood resident. He holds a B.S. in Chemical Engineering & Economics from Carnegie Mellon University. John has had a successful 30 year career in the City of Pittsburgh, working both in the private, public and nonproﬁt sectors.

BUILDING ONE PITTSBURGH

Now is the time to build a movement for the People’s Campaign. We are the people.

CREATE A SAFE CITY | BUILD FAIR, EQUITABLE AND GREEN COMMUNITIES PROMOTE RESPONSIBLE ECONOMIC DEVELOPMENT | INVEST IN PUBLIC EDUCATION 12

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HOW TO BUILD

ABOUT REV. WELCH Rev. Welch also holds a Masters of Divinity degree from Pittsburgh Theological Seminary and a Ph.D. from Duquesne University in Healthcare Ethics. He has been in ministry for 27 years. Presently Rev. Welch is the Vice President for Student Services and Community Engagement, Dean of Students at Pittsburgh Theological Seminary, where he has worked since 2007.

CREATE A SAFE CITY We are facing a serious water crisis with lead concentrations in our water above EPA acceptable levels. Children, pregnant mothers and the elderly have been at risk for the past 16 years. We need a mayor who will ensure that all residents in the city of Pittsburgh will receive clean drinking water.

Rev. Welch has served the City of Pittsburgh on various boards, advisory committees, and capacities including: • City of Pittsburgh Ethics Hearing Board • University of Pittsburgh Center for Minority Health Community Research Advisory Board

BUILD FAIR, EQUITABLE AND GREEN COMMUNITIES

• University of Pittsburgh Katz Graduate School of Business and University of Pittsburgh Consortium Ethics Program - Adjunct Professor of Business Ethics

Low income people have been victimized by excessive development and displaced from their homes and communities. Affordable housing must be a priority. Community development must also be environmentally friendly reducing rain water run off which causes sewer backups and river contamination. We need a mayor who

• Forbes Hospital (Allegheny Health Network) Ethics Committee • City of Pittsburgh Bureau of Police Chief Chaplain since 2008 and Police/Community Relations Committee • Sports & Exhibition Authority

will not put proﬁts over quality of life for all residents.

• Rankin Christian Center Board of Directors

PROMOTE RESPONSIBLE ECONOMIC DEVELOPMENT

• Pittsburgh NAACP

27% of all households in Pittsburgh earn less than $20,000 annually. That’s 1 in 4 households living in poverty. Long time Pittsburgh residents deserve the opportunity to earn family sustaining wages thereby sparking an economic engine in the region through increased discretionary income. We need a mayor who will ﬁght for low wage workers.

• Community organizing and social action for approximately 15 years including his arrest in 2014 supporting low wage workers at UPMC

• Centers for Healthy Hearts and Souls

• Honors include: Human Rights Award in 2007 from Church Woman United, Inc., the NAACP Pastor of the Year in 2007, YWCA Racial Justice Award in 2010, Finalist for the City of Pittsburgh 2011 DiverCity 360 Living Legend Honors. R Rev. Welch is married to Rev. B. DeNeice Welch and together have four children and three grandchildren. they are blessed to h

INVEST IN PUBLIC EDUCATION Every child in Pittsburgh should have access to high quality education from early childhood through high school to prepare them for an evolving workforce. In a region where the ﬁnest schools of higher education exist, Pittsburgh can lead the way and offer a seamless pathway to educational success. We need a mayor who will protect public education to ensure quality access.

#FUTUREPGH #PEOPLESPGH

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[PITTSBURGH LEFT]

DUMB OR DELIBERATE {BY CHARLIE DEITCH} I HAVE TO admit it. There have been times

in the ﬁrst 100 days of Donald Trump’s presidency when I have felt a tiny bit of compassion for him. Most of the time he’s that arrogant, self-absorbed, egomaniacal Donald Trump who makes us want to riot in the streets; the Donald Trump who seems gleeful and to be enjoying his efforts to ruin the lives of others, including, but not limited to, the entire LGBT community, women, minorities, undocumented immigrants, anyone who doesn’t agree with him, anyone who enjoys clean air and water, and those currently getting health care through the Affordable Care Act. But then there are the moments when he looks like a man-child in over his head, bumbling through a job that he doesn’t really want now that he has it. He looks dim, lost and pitiful; in those moments, I do feel the smallest amount of pity for him, like you would for a turtle stuck on his back. It never lasts long, though, because he then tweets something, says something or signs something that makes you realize that an incapacitated turtle could make better decisions than our president. And with no hands, at least the turtle couldn’t tweet at 3 a.m. I think I allow myself to pity the president because part of me feels better to think about him being dull-minded. That also doesn’t last long, however, because I think he’s shown himself to be easily manipulated, and he’s surrounded by a pack of insane wolves like Steve Bannon, who knows how easy it is to control the president; you just make him think that your idea was his idea. It’s a right-wing Jedi mind trick, and Trump follows along in true “these-are-not-the-droids-you’relooking-for” fashion. He rarely seems to know any details about the legislation or executive orders he’s passing, like health-care reform or that detail-less tax-cut plan he’s currently bragging about. He’s still blustering about his November election victory over Hillary Clinton; he did it in several interviews held on his 100-day anniversary. Trump keeps railing against the lying media and fake news, while he passes off as fact things that any thirdgrade history student would know are complete fabrications.

In a completely self-serving interview with Salena Zito in The Washington Examiner, which lacked any honest criticism of the president, Trump started talking about how former President Andrew Jackson “was really angry that he saw what was happening with regard to the Civil War.” Jackson could have prevented the war, Trump asserted. But Jackson was a slave-owner. According to the website of his historic Hermitage Plantation, Jackson owned 150 slaves by the time he died in 1845 — 16 years before the start of the Civil War. After calling Jackson a “swashbuckler,” Trump continued to spew nonsense that was so ridiculous that you wouldn’t even hear it on Drunk History. “People don’t realize, you know, the Civil War, you think about it, why? People don’t ask that question, but why was there the Civil War? Why could that one not have been worked out?” I’m no historian myself, but I do recall the main driver of the war being the reluctance of callous white Southerners to stop enslaving and torturing blacks. And it couldn’t be worked out because those states wanted to continue to enslave and torture men, women and children. I assume that later this week White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer will educate the nation about “slavery centers.” These are the moments that make me the most uneasy about Trump. I’m of course disturbed by the content of this interview. But I’m also really concerned about what goes on in his head that allows those things to come out. Trump is either a dolt who doesn’t know that what he’s saying is uninformed and, in this case, hateful gibberish, or this is the way this man sees the world. In an April 28 interview with Fox News, Trump either displayed a complete ignorance of the way our government works — “There are archaic rules and maybe at some point, we’re going to have to take those rules on, because for the good of the nation, things are going to have to be different, you can’t go through a process like this. It’s not fair, it forces you to make bad decisions” — or he doesn’t care. Either way, it’s not good for the future of an already divided country.

AN INCAPACITATED TURTLE COULD MAKE BETTER DECISIONS THAN OUR PRESIDENT.

C D E I T C H @ P G H C I T Y PA P E R. C OM

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER

05.03/05.10.2017

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PITTSBURGH CELLO QUARTET + NEWEST MEMBERS OF TH THE HONY Y PITTSBURGH SYMPHONY ON N CELLO SECTION

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PRESENTED BY

News of the Weird

Robotic models of living organisms are useful to scientists, who can study the effects of stimuli without risk to actual people. Northwestern University researchers announced in March that its laboratory model of the “female reproductive system” has reached a milestone: its first menstrual period. The “ovary,” using mouse tissue, had produced hormones that stimulated the system (uterus, cervix, vagina, fallopian tubes, liver) for 28 days, reaching the predictable result. Chief researcher Teresa Woodruff said she imagines eventually growing a model from tissue provided by the patient undergoing treatment.

Chutzpah! Henry Wachtel, 24, continues in legal limbo after being found “not criminally responsible” for the death of his mother in 2014, despite having beaten her in the head and elsewhere up to 100 times — because he was having an epileptic seizure at that moment and has no memory of the attack. A judge must still decide the terms of Wachtel’s psychiatric hospitalization, but Wachtel’s mind is clear enough now that, in March, he demanded, as sole heir, payoff on his mother’s life insurance policy (which, under New York law, is still technically feasible).

Over the years, News of the Weird has covered the long-standing campaign by animal-rights activists to bestow “human” rights upon animals (begun, of course, with intelligent orangutans and gorillas). In March, the New Zealand parliament gave human rights to a river — the Whanganui, long revered by the country’s indigenous Maori. (One Maori and one civil servant were appointed as the river’s representatives.) Within a week, activists in India, scouring court rulings, found two of that country’s waterways deserved similar status — the Ganges and Yamuna rivers, which were then so designated by judges in Uttarakhand state. (The Ganges’ “rights” seem hollow since an estimated one billion gallons of waste still enters it every day despite its being a holy bathing spot for Hindus.)

Yet another intimate accessory with weak security drew attention when hackers broke down a $249 Svakom Siime Eye personal vibrator in April, revealing a lazily created default password (“88888888”) and Wi-Fi network name (“Siime Eye”). Since the Eye’s camera and internet access facilitate livestream video of a user’s most personal body parts, anyone within Wi-Fi range can break in (and be entertained) by just driving around a city looking for the Siime Eye network.

And a Partridge in a Pear Tree: In February, a pet-welfare organization complained of a raid on a home near Lockhart, Texas, that housed more than 400 animals (and, of course, reeked “overpowering[ly]” of urine). The inventory: 86 snakes, 56 guinea pigs, 28 dogs, 26 rabbits, 15 goats, 9 doves, 8 skinks, 7 pigs, 6 pigeons, 4 gerbils, 3 bearded dragons, 2 ducks and 1 tarantula — plus about 150 rats and mice (to feed the menagerie) and 20 other animals whose numbers did not fit the above lyric pattern.

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER

05.03/05.10.2017

S E N D YO UR WE I R D N E WS TO W E I RD N E W S @ E ART HL I NK . N E T O R WWW. NE WS O F T HE WE I R D. C OM

{BY CHUCK SHEPHERD}

For more than a decade, an “editor” has been roaming the streets at night in Bristol, England, “correcting” violations of standard grammar, lately being described as “The Apostrophiser” since much of his work involves adjusting (or often obliterating) that punctuation mark. On April 3, the BBC at last portrayed the vigilante in action, in a “ridealong” documentary that featured him using the special marking and climbing tools that facilitate his work. His first mission, in 2003, involved a government sign “Monday’s to Friday’s” (“ridiculous,” he said), and he recalled an even more cloying store sign — “Amys Nail’s” — as “so loud and in your face.”)

New York City health officials have convinced most ultra-Orthodox Jewish “mohels” to perform their ritual circumcisions with sterile tools and gauze, but still, according to a March New York Post report, a few holdouts insist on the old-fashioned way of removing the blood from an incision — by sucking it up with their mouths (and thus potentially passing along

herpes). Some local temples are so protective of their customs that they refuse to name the “offending” mohels (who are not licensed medical professionals), thus limiting parents’ ability to choose safe practitioners.

A “locked” cellphone (tied to a particular carrier), though a nuisance to purchasers, is only a several-hundred-dollar nuisance. A more serious crisis arises, as News of the Weird noted in 2015, when farmers buy $500,000 combines that they believe they “own,” but then find that the John Deere company has “locked” the machines’ sophisticated software, preventing even small repairs or upgrades until a Deere service rep shows up to enter the secret password (and, of course, leaves a bill). Deere’s business model has driven some farmers recently to a black market of fearless Ukrainian hackers (some of the same risky dark-net outlaws believed to pose online dangers), who help put the farmers back on track. Eight state legislatures are presently considering overriding Deere’s contract to create a “right to repair.”

WAYNOVISION

LOCAL

“ONCE WE GOT THOSE HEADSET MICS, ALL BETS WERE OFF!”

BEAT

{BY MEG FAIR}

FEMALE TIME Promoting My Sisters began five years ago, born out of rapper Dr. HollyHood’s frustration after attending endless amounts of hip-hop shows with all-male lineups. “These guys would justify their lineups by saying, ‘There are no female rappers in the city!’ But I, a female rapper, was there watching the show. That just wasn’t true,” she says. Tired of the excuses she was hearing, Dr. HollyHood (an occasional CP contributor) decided to create an all-female showcase to prove not only were there plenty of female artists in the city, but there were also more than enough to put on their own PROMOTING MY stacked showcase. SISTERS LINEUP: “Now when • Djladibuggdaplugg guys ask where • I Medina the female artists • Ladyt Badd Official are, I point to • Music Page PMS,” explains • Sarah Rose HollyHood. “Here’s • Pookie Pseu 20 of them.” • Y-Check This year’s event • Cait DiCicco at Howlers features • Lady Zel a mix of hip-hop, • Julie Juice Cosentino spoken-word • Pretty Krissy and burlesque • Latrice Envy Siren performances. • Daisyinthebackseat Veteran spoken• Skye Light word performer, • Eboogie academic and • Key Da Phenom activist Medina • Kyna James Jackson, a.k.a. • Abigail Jerri I Medina, is • Luscious D scheduled to • Yoko Haze perform. Her poem, “I Am the Mother of a Black Son,” is just one example of the powerful prose she weaves. Bringing the bad-ass burlesque and a message of body positivity is Luscious D, while LadyTBadd spits bars over catchy beats with earworm hooks like those in “Don’t Think Though.” Showcasing 20 female artists on one bill is a great opportunity for exposure, but Dr. HollyHood doesn’t expect these artists to perform for free. “It has always been really important to me to make a way to pay these women,” she says. The P.M.S. system empowers performers to promote their own work by utilizing a ticket link that allows attendees to buy a ticket directly from the artist they are coming to see. As a result, a 10-minute performance can be profitable. And hopefully, promoters from around town will do the legwork and scout out some artists for their next showcases. MEGFAIR@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

PROMOTING MY SISTERS (PMS SHOWCASE) 9 p.m. Sat., May 6. Howlers, 4509 Liberty Ave., Bloomfield. $12. www.tinyurl.com/PMSShowcase NEWS

{PHOTO COURTESY OF NANCY AND BETH}

Nancy And Beth’s Megan Mullally, left, and Stephanie Hunt

SKILL & GRACE {BY CHARLIE DEITCH}

EORGE JONES’ classic 1980 hit “He

a great compliment,” Mullally says, in an interview with City Paper. “That song has the perfect combination — it’s beautiful, depressing, and in a way, kind of funny.” Mullally and Hunt pour their emotions into each lyric for nearly the entire tune, building toward an ending that’s not at all what you’d expect. “There’s that great spoken-word part at the end of the song. You get a sense that we’re doing a send-up and building toward something.”

Stopped Loving Her Today” is quite possibly the most depressing song in the history of music — well, at least in country music. It’s not just the song, which recounts a dying man getting over his lost love by, well, dying. It’s the way Jones painfully wails each word in that way that only the Possum can do. I was positive that a more depressing version of this song could not be performed. And then I heard Nancy And Beth. The band is the creation of actress/singer Megan Mullally — probably best known for her 1988 guest-starring role on an episode of Murder She Wrote called “Coal Miner’s Slaughter,” and a lesser-known TV show, Will & Grace — and Stephanie Hunt, an actress/musician featured on shows including Friday Night Lights and Californication. The duo’s haunting harmonies and deliberate pacing took the song to levels of depression that even a double dose of Ativan couldn’t bring you out of. “Wow, that’s nice of you to say. That’s

AN EVENING WITH

NANCY AND BETH 7 p.m. Sat., May 6. Mr. Smalls Theatre, 400 Lincoln Ave., Millvale. $30. 412-821-4447 or www.mrsmalls.com

That was sort of the general feeling when Mullally and Hunt got together in 2012, while they were both in Austin, Texas, working on the same ﬁlm, Somebody Up There Likes Me, starring Mullally’s husband, Nick Offerman. “She came up to me and told me that

she played the ukulele and sang,” Mullally says laughing. “I just politely said, ‘Oh, I’d love to hear it some time.’ The next thing I know, she sits down and says, ‘I have this one song, but you have to sing this part with me.’ It was a little strange, but I did, and the moment our voices hit, I was like, ‘Um, wait a minute here.’” There are several moments on the selftitled Nancy And Beth record where that synchronicity is on display. Besides the aforementioned George Jones tune, there are covers of Lou Rawls’ “Fine Brown Frame,” “Cab Driver,” by The Mills Brothers, and Rufus Wainwright’s “Vibrate.” In a way, the only apt comparison to their harmonies are to sibling duos like the Everly Brothers, The Andrews Sisters, and Sweethearts of the Rodeo. Many a music writer over the years has pointed out that, for various reasons, there’s a perfect harmony between sibling acts. While Mullally and Hunt may be sisters in the broader social sense, they’re not related, yet they nail that mark. It may seem strange to fans of her acting CONTINUES ON PG. 19

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER

05.03/05.10.2017

diesel

FREE OF LABELS, CONTINUED FROM PG. 17

work that Mullally is suddenly embarking on a music career. But this band is more of a return to musical roots, not a new venture. “I started as a ballet dancer, moved into musical theater, and I was in a few bands,” she says. “In fact, I never even thought about acting. Most people don’t know that. They only know me from Will & Grace.” The record features nude photos of Mullally and Hunt with the band name strategically covering them, while still allowing tasteful amounts of under and side boob. (“Hey, I ﬁgure if we’re nice enough to take our clothes off, the least you can do is talk about the record,” she quips.) The songs on the record don’t have any discernible connections to one another. But what they do have in common is that each tune “makes us completely freak out when we hear them. Once that happens, we’re just driven by a force bigger than ourselves.” Take, for example, their cover of “I Don’t Love Her,” an instant classic of misogynistic hip hop performed by rapper Gucci Mane. It’s not exactly a song you’d expect to hear from progressive feminists, but here it works so well that it kind of morphs into a satirical feminist anthem. In between crisply thrown verses are sharp, witty callbacks that are worth the surprise of hearing them for yourselves, including two great drops from Mullally about Gloria Steinem. “Someone told me that we should perform this song, and I never turn down a good song tip,” Mullally says. “I printed out the lyrics and played it for Stephanie; we were crying from laughing so hard. It’s so opposite of a feminine anthem that when it’s done by these two girls, it makes you stop, think and really listen to it. The song kills every time we do it.” When you go to a Nancy And Beth show (the name chosen from a list of prospective monikers), singing is only the start of the performance. There are costumes, and each song is choreographed by Mullally, who wants their gigs to be “this new magical form of ‘Showbiz!’ with the exclamation point.” The choreography and the costumes were added organically. She says Hunt didn’t have a background in dance, but says the 27-year-old performer picked it up quickly because she’s “smart and quick.” Mullally says the pair also has amazing chemistry because of Hunt’s upbringing in a very musical family. “She has an unbelievable library of music in her head from a lot of different time periods,” Mullally says. “We started doing a little heel-toe, heel-toe at the stationary mic, but once we got those headset mics, all bets were off! “My new goal is to do an underwater number in a huge glass tank in Las Vegas. Look out, Esther Williams.” C DE ITC HPGHC ITY PAP ER.CO M

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GET YOUR TICKETS NOW AT PGHBURGERWEEK.COM

for tickets visit DIESELPGH.COM or Dave’s Music Mine (southside) 1801 e. carson st | pittsburgh |412.481.8800

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POST-ROCK MUSIC {BY BILL KOPP}

{PHOTO COURTESY OF RYAN RUSSELL}

Russian Circles

In a valiant attempt to provide helpful points of reference for music listeners, journalists have concocted all manner of genre labels. Some — folk rock, for example — are useful in describing a style of music. Others are virtually meaningless. So it is with post-rock, a term first used in the mid-1990s to describe music built upon rock instrumentation yet drawing its primary inspiration from outside rock. That may or may not be an accurate term to describe Russian Circles. Formed in 2004, the Chicago trio makes distinctive instrumental music that might remind some listeners of modern-day King Crimson crossed with Tool. Hypnotic melodies — often delivered in the form of punishing riffs — have been Russian Circles’ stockin-trade across six studio albums and a brand-new live disc, Live at Dunk! Fest. As far as being labeled a post-rock trio, bassist Brian Cook tells CP, “We don’t have much choice in the matter. It’s a label that’s stuck.” He mentions that while on tour, the band often listens to extrememetal band Rotting Christ, 1970s German “krautrock” pioneers Neu!, and the resolutely unclassifiable Swedish group GOAT. “Apparently,” Cook says, ”when you draw your inspiration from that kind of mixture of bands, you wind up playing post-metal.” But he doesn’t think that label fits Russian Circles, either. Forgoing vocals means that the trio — Cook plus guitarist Mike Sullivan and drummer Dave Turncrantz — creates each song’s vibe and aura wholly by instrumental means. Cook and his bandmates don’t set out to write songs that convey a specific meaning. “It’s more interesting to write music that resonates on a visceral level and then try to find the subconscious impetus behind the material,” he says. He prefers that to “waking up one morning and deciding you’re gonna write an album about how vivisection is awful, or something like that. That just seems forced.” INFO@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

RUSSIAN CIRCLES with MASTODON, EAGLES OF DEATH METAL 6:30 p.m. Fri., May 12. Stage AE, 400 North Shore Drive, North Side. $37.50. 412-229-5483 or promowestlive.com

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER

05.03/05.10.2017

FREE OF LABELS {BY MIKE SHANLEY} ALEC OUNSWORTH is traveling through

Mississippi when City Paper reaches him by phone. The high-pitched drone on the line goes away each time he speaks, but nevertheless, it’s uncertain whether the signal could go dead at any moment, taking the singer of Clap Your Hands Say Yeah with it. This suspense seems appropriate for the front man of a band that plays catchy, yet off-center songs, and which caught ﬁre 12 years ago, without the help of any big-time machinations. The music was sometimes hard to understand, but always intriguing. The weekend before the current phone call, CYHSY played shows in Houston, Austin and Dallas. The day after the phone call, the band will be in Tampa, Fla. In some ways, the group is continuing on the path it started in 2005. CYHSY has now released ﬁve albums on its own and continues to hit the road for long stretches, traveling by van like your typical young, aspiring band. On the other hand, things have evolved. CYHSY has sustained a large, devoted fan base, years after the initial buzz. Ounsworth, who plays guitar and sings, is the only member remaining from the original lineup, which came together in Brooklyn. His vision always guided the band, but the sound has grown from the raw, energetic debut to the more atmospheric sound of 2014’s Only Run.

CLAP YOUR HANDS SAY YEAH WITH LAURA GIBSON

9 p.m. Fri., May 5. Club Café, 56 S. 12th St., South Side. $18. 412-431-4950 or www.clubcafelive.com

The Tourist, the ﬁfth release under the CYHSY name, was released in February. Ounsworth’s unique vocal style — highpitched and dramatic, occasionally slipping into an intense whine — guarantees you’re in the right place. But The Tourist also contains some of the most ear-catching hooks in the band’s catalog. Ounsworth laughs upon hearing the term “ear candy” used to describe the more infectious songs on The Tourist, like “Fireproof.” “I don’t know. Maybe so. I’ll take your word for it,” he says, explaining later that he never reads his reviews, having been the subject of media frenzy following the release of the debut album. In addition to being lauded as a “buzz band” in RollNEWS

{PHOTO COURTESY OF MICHAEL REGAN}

Alec Ounsworth

ing Stone back then, a particular term was bestowed on CYHSA by the online press. “They called it ‘blog rock,’ which is a totally ridiculous term,” Ounsworth says. “It has no meaning, zero meaning. I was always amused by that, and the nature of the buzz band. It’s just pointless.” Although Ounsworth has no real connection with an online journal, his lyrical perspective indicates a literate approach, which establishes outlines of stories to go with his music. “I did study fiction in college, and I have written short stories,” he says. “But I never thought I was that good at it. Poetry was more understandable to me.” The Tourist was written when Ounsworth was going through a difficult time in his life. He’s reticent to give details. “It’s one of those things that’s never going to really go away,” he says. “And I’d rather not talk about it explicitly. There’s some anger in there that betrays my subject matter a little bit. It was an angry time. But less so now.” While the inspiration might have been less than pleasant, the 10 tracks that resulted from it don’t sound dreary. “Down (Is Where I Want to Be)” and “Better Off” both feature roaring codas, which benefit from a pounding rhythm section and overdubbed vocals, respectively. “I like the juxtaposition of making these little melodies, [with] three-part harmonies on occasion drifting over things, with lyrics that are almost attack-minded,” Ounsworth says. While CYHSY’s approach might evoke other bands’ sounds, the comparisons don’t fit easily. Moments that feel like tightly arranged ’80s new wave comes off with a scrappy feeling; and pop structures make right-angle turns rather than simply

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going to another chorus. Ounsworth cites two iconoclastic artists as inspiration: John Cale, in his post-Velvet Underground work, and Robert Wyatt, the English artpop bard whose gorgeous high voice reveled in everything from jazz to political folk. Noting their inspiration, he says it

also “would be helpful for other people to listen to those [two] and establish an understanding for … what these influences might be, what shapes a good band.” He goes on to say that people usually compare him to something that’s way off base. “But that’s fine,” he says. “I appreciate the guessing game as much as anybody.” Although the European editions of the band’s records have the backing of independent labels, Ounsworth does it himself, domestically. That includes releasing everything on vinyl as well as CD. After all this time, the process still presents many challenges. “I have to front all the money myself,” he says. “Also, by virtue of how people consume music these days, streaming specifically, there’s no way to budget. So I’m shooting in the dark as far as what your recording budget should be. It’s more unpredictable than it ever was. It’s on me to try and negotiate that, whereas with a record label, they would maybe get some pop band to put something out to offset the cost of the real stuff that they put out. But I don’t have any indie-pop band on my non-existent label.” When it’s suggested that, perhaps, he should create an alter ego for such a project, he laughs: “It sounds tempting. Very dishonest, but tempting.” I N F O@ P G H C I T Y PA P E R. C OM

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CRITICS’ PICKS Pierce the Veil

Pkew Pkew Pkew is a Canadian band that met through a Craigslist ad. They’re all dudes from little towns in Ontario who make big-sounding punk rock about trying to stay young, combating nostalgia and getting too hecked up on alcohol. The members call themselves “the Lance Armstrongs of music” (they dope, obv.). Making its triumphant return from hiatus is local band Fuck Yeah, Dinosaurs!, an outfit with absolutely wicked wit and dinosaur-, Loudon beer- and hockeyWainwright themed lyrics that III will make even the grumpiest nerd chuckle. Pittsburgh’s Nightmarathons also celebrates its debut EP at this party at Howlers. Plan for a hangover Friday morning. Meg Fair 9 p.m. 4509 Liberty Ave., Bloomfield. $8. 412-682-0320 or www. howlerspittsburgh.com

[HARDCORE] + FRI., MAY 05 Grab your skateboard and get in the car, nerd! There’s a sick punk gig tonight at Dock 5, and a mini ramp is involved. Providing the tuneage to your sweet skate tricks will be Richmond, Va.’s Fried Egg, a hardcore band that rips like old Ceremony, and has captured the art of the short song as a brutal tool for inducing headbanging and crowd participation. Pittsburgh represents with Killer of Sheep and Medium Ugly. MF 7 p.m. 234 Ninth St., Braddock. $7. 412-621-1715

[FOLK] + SAT. MAY 06 Loudon Wainwright III has been writing provocative, meaningful lyrics since the 1960s. A former drama student at Carnegie Mellon, Wainwright released a song in 1970 called “Ode to Pittsburgh,” which he’ll hopefully sing tonight at his show at Oakland’s

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER

05.03/05.10.2017

Carnegie Lecture Hall. Charlie Deitch 7:30 p.m. 4400 Forbes Ave., Oakland. $20-40. 412-361-1915 or www.calliopehouse.org

[WARPED ROCK] + TUE., MAY 09 I’ll admit it. I’m a sucker for nostalgia trips, and tonight at Stage AE is no exception. For the nu-Warped generation (we started going after it stopped being “punk” and “good” according to older punks), there are certain bands that many of us secretly still love. This tour showcases three of Warped’s heavy hitters: Pierce the Veil, Sum 41 and Emarosa. I do not give a heck what any pretentious dork says, PTV is an objectively talented band writing emo music that doesn’t sound like others in its genre. Emarosa writes pop-tinged postrock with a splash of math, and if you pretend you don’t know all the words to “Fat Lip,” by Sum 41, you’re a liar and not to be trusted. MF 7 p.m. 400 North Shore Drive, North Side. $29-32. 412-229-5483 or www.stageae.com {PHOTO COURTESY OF HUGH BROWN}

[FUN PUNK] + THU., MAY 04

[POP PUNK] + WED., MAY 10 Parasites have been around for about 30 years making pop punk. Throughout its tenure, the band has pumped out the kind of music it wanted to make, not bowing to trends. As a result, the outfit served as a powerful influence for punk and pop-punk bands across the U.S., Europe and Japan. Also performing tonight at Howlers is gruff, poppy punk band Playoff Beard, a band anchored by gritty vocals and catchy hooks. Scrap Kids, performing full band, will serve up all the anthemic punk your heart desires. MF 9 p.m. 4509 Liberty Ave., Bloomfield. $8. 412-682-0320 or www.howlerspittsburgh.com

ADORNING THE BODY, BODY THE TABLE, TABLE AND THE BED

TO SUBMIT A LISTING: HTTP://PGHCITYPAPER.COM/HAPPENINGS {ALL LISTINGS MUST BE SUBMITTED BY 9 A.M. FRIDAY PRIOR TO PUBLICATION}

Manager. 8 p.m. Millvale. 412-821-4447. BAJA BAR AND GRILL. THE VALLEY HOTEL. King’s Mercedez Band. 9 p.m. Ransom. 9:30 p.m. Jefferson Boro. Fox Chapel. 412-963-0640. 412-233-9800. CLUB CAFE. Nick Barilla VIETNAM VETERAN’S w/ Hannah Jenkins. 6 p.m. PAVILLION. Pittonkatonk South Side. 412-431-4950. May Day Brass BBQ 2017. 1 p.m. DIESEL. The Unlikely Candidates Oakland. 412-251-6058. w/ The Fame Riot & more. 7 p.m. South Side. 412-431-8800. ALUMNI CONCERT GOOSKI’S. Fell Ruin, HALL, CMU. AJ Axioma, Six Speed Kill Raggs. 8 p.m. Oakland. . & Vnfvrl. 9 p.m. Polish www per 412-607-6462. a p ty Hill. 412-681-1658. pghci m THE BEACH ROOM. o .c JAMES STREET Easy Action. 2 p.m. GASTROPUB & Finleyville. 724-348-8888. SPEAKEASY. Charlie CLUB CAFE. Rocki Boulis. Wheeler Band w/ Dan Bubien 7 p.m. South Side. 412-431-4950. Music Co. ballroom. 8 p.m. THE R BAR. Billy The Kid & the Regulators. 6 p.m. Dormont. North Side. 412-381-6811. 412-942-0882. JERGEL’S RHYTHM GRILLE. TEN. A tribute to Pearl Jam. 8 p.m. Warrendale. CLUB CAFE. The Delta Saints. 724-799-8333. 7 p.m. South Side. 412-431-4950. THE FUNHOUSE @ MR. SMALLS. MR. SMALLS THEATER. All The Red Western, Slugss & That Remains. 6:30 p.m. Millvale. 412-821-4447.

SAT 06

ROCK/POP THU 04 DIESEL. Kosha Dillz. 8 p.m. South Side. 412-431-8800. HOWLERS. Pkew Pkew Pkew, Nightmarathons & Fuck Yeah Dinosaurs. 9 p.m. Bloomfield. 412-682-0320.

FRI 05 BAJA BAR AND GRILL. Tony Janflone Band. 8 p.m. Fox Chapel. 412-963-0640. CLUB CAFE. Clap Your Hands Say Yeah w/ Laura Gibson. 8 p.m. South Side. 412-431-4950. HOWLERS. Curse the Son, Brimstone Coven & Doctor Smoke. 9 p.m. Bloomfield. 412-682-0320. JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. Thriller feat. Michael Stephenson. 8 p.m. North Side. 412-904-3335. STAGE AE. Jamestown Revival. 7 p.m. North Side. 412-229-5483.

SUN 07 FULL LIST ONLINE

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SPRING PERUSING HOURS: Wed-Fri 3PM-10PM Sat 3 PM-Midnight 3401 BUTLER ST. • PITTSBURGH • 412-228-0838

MAY 13

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JERGEL’S RHYTHM GRILLE. Tobacco Road. 8 p.m. Warrendale. 724-799-8333. MR. SMALLS THEATER. Old 97’s. 7 p.m. Millvale. 412-821-4447. STAGE AE. Pierce The Veil & Sum 41 feat. Emarosa & Chapel. 7 p.m. North Side. 412-229-5483.

JACQUEA MAY

WED 10 CLUB CAFE. Seth Walker. 7 p.m. South Side. 412-431-4950. JERGEL’S RHYTHM GRILLE. MEM3. 8 p.m. Warrendale. 724-799-8333. MR. SMALLS THEATER. Biffy Clyro. 7:30 p.m. Millvale. 412-821-4447. STAGE AE. Korn. North Side. 7 p.m. 412-229-5483.

DJS THU 04 BELVEDERE’S. NeoNoir Dark 80s w/ Erica Scary. 10 p.m. Lawrenceville. 412-687-2555. MR. SMALLS THEATER. Centrifuge Thursdays. At the Funhouse. 9 p.m. Millvale. 412-821-4447. PERLE CHAMPAGNE BAR. Bobby D Bachata. 10 p.m. Downtown. 412-471-2058.

Each week, we post a song from a local artist online. This week’s is “Today Ain’t the Day,” by Jacquea May, from her debut EP The Makings of Me, executive produced by May and her 1Hood colleague Idasa Tariq. The EP’s five tracks vary from experimental soul to more accessible R&B to a stunning a cappella version of Big Mama Thornton’s “Hound Dog.” “Today” is a great highlight, but this whole EP is not to be missed. Stream or download the track for free at FFW>>, the music blog at pghcitypaper.com.

FRI 05 ANDYS WINE BAR. DJ Malls Spins Vinyl. 5 p.m. Downtown. 412-773-8884. BELVEDERE’S. DJ admc. 10 p.m. Lawrenceville. 412-687-2555. CONTINUES ON PG. 24

NEWS

MUSIC

ARTS

EVENTS

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CONCERTS, CONTINUED FROM PG. 23

BRILLOBOX. Pandemic : Global Dancehall, Cumbia, Bhangra, Balkan Bass. 9:30 p.m. Bloomfield. 412-621-4900. THE FLATS ON CARSON. Pete Butta. 10 p.m. South Side. 412-586-7644. ONE 10 LOUNGE. DJ Goodnight, DJ Rojo. 9 p.m. Downtown. 412-874-4582. ROWDY BUCK. Top 40 Dance. 10 p.m. South Side. 412-431-2825. RUGGER’S PUB. 80s Night w/ DJ Connor. 9 p.m. South Side. 412-381-1330.

SAT 06 BELVEDERE’S. Sean MC & Thermos. 90s night. 10 p.m. Lawrenceville. 412-687-2555. CATTIVO. Illusions. w/ Funerals & Arvin Clay. 9 p.m. Lawrenceville. 412-687-2157. DIESEL. DJ CK. 10 p.m. South Side. 412-431-8800. PERLE CHAMPAGNE BAR. DJ Tenova. ladies night. 9 p.m. Downtown. 412-471-2058. ROWDY BUCK. Top 40 Dance. 10 p.m. South Side. 412-431-2825. SPIRIT HALL & LODGE. TITLE TOWN Soul & Funk Party. Rare Soul, Funk & wild R&B 45s feat. DJ Gordy G. & J.Malls First Sat. of every month, 9 p.m. Lawrenceville. 412-586-4441.

TUE 09 THE GOLDMARK. Pete Butta.

Reggae & dancehall. 10 p.m. Lawrenceville. 412-688-8820.

PENN PLUM VFW. Strange Brew. 9 p.m. Verona. 412-793-2711.

WED 10

JAZZ

SMILING MOOSE. Rock Star Karaoke w/ T-MONEY. 9:30 p.m. South Side. 412-431-4668.

HIP HOP/R&B THU 04 JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. Lydia Brittan & The Internationals w/ Merrow. 8 p.m. North Side. 412-904-3335.

BLUES FRI 05

THU 04 JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. Roger Humphries Jam Session. Ballroom. 8 p.m. North Side. 412-904-3335. VALLOZZI’S PITTSBURGH. Eric Johnson. 5:30 p.m. Downtown. 412-394-3400.

FRI 05 ANDORA RESTAURANT FOX CHAPEL. Pianist Harry Cardillo & vocalist Charlie Sanders. 6:30 p.m. Fox Chapel. 412-967-1900.

MOONDOG’S. Miss Freddye’s Blues Band w/ Code Whiskey. 8 p.m. CIOPPINO SEAFOOD Blawnox. 412-828-2040. CHOPHOUSE BAR. NOLA ON THE Lucarelli Jazz SQUARE. Jimmy w. w w w/ Peg Wilson. Adler Band w/ John er hcitypap g p 7 p.m. Strip District. Gresh’s Gris Gris. .com 412-281-6593. 8 p.m. Downtown. JAMES STREET 412-471-9100. GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. Jessica Lee & Mark Strickland’s THE DOUBLE L. Still Not Sober. Rhythm Jazz & Blues Fusion. 8 p.m. Millvale. 412-821-2647. 8 p.m. speakeasy. Tony Campbell EXCUSES BAR & GRILL. Jam Session. 5 p.m. ballroom. Bill Toms & The Hard Rain. 9 p.m. North Side. 412-904-3335. South Side. 412-431-4090. THE MONROEVILLE RACQUET THE HOP HOUSE. Bo’Hog CLUB. Jazz Bean Live. 7 p.m. Brothers. 9 p.m. Green Tree. Monroeville. 412-728-4155. 412-922-9560. TABLE 86 BY HINES WARD. MOONDOG’S. Black Cat Moan. RML Jazz. 7:30 p.m. Mars. 8:30 p.m. Blawnox. 412-828-2040. 412-370-9621.

SAT 06 FULL T LIS ONLINE

SAT 06

SUN 07 CITY OF ASYLUM @ ALPHABET CITY. Stephan Crump’s Rosetta Trio. 7 p.m. North Side. 412-435-1110. JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. Ken Karsh, Beni Rossman & George Jones. 7 p.m. speakeasy. Slippery Rock University Jazz, Choral & Voice. 7 p.m. ballroom. North Side. 412-904-3335. ROCKS LANDING BAR & GRILLE. Tony Campbell, John Hall, Howie Alexander & Dennis Garner. McKees Rocks. 412-857-5809.

TUE 09 CITY OF ASYLUM @ ALPHABET CITY. Etta Cox. 8 p.m. North Side. 412-435-1110. JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. Erik Lawrence, Paul Thompson & Thomas Wendt. ballroom. 8 p.m. North Side. 412-904-3335.

ACOUSTIC THU 04 ELWOOD’S PUB. West Deer Bluegrass Review. 7:30 p.m. Rural Ridge. 724-265-1181.

FRI 05 DOROTHY SIX BLAST FURNACE CAFE. Ben Dumm. 6 p.m. Homestead. 412-464-9023. ELWOOD’S PUB. Doc & Tina. 8:30 p.m. Rural Ridge. 724-265-1181. FIRST UNITARIAN CHURCH. The Early Mays. 7:30 p.m. Shadyside. 412-242-7769. FRIDAY FAITH CAFE. Vicky Andreis. 7 p.m. Washington. 724-222-1563. PARK HOUSE. Che Zuro. 9 p.m. North Side. 412-224-2273. RUMFISH GRILLE. David & Pappy. 7 p.m. Bridgeville. 412-914-8013.

SAT 06 CARNEGIE LECTURE HALL. Loudon Wainwright III. 7:30 p.m. Oakland. 412-361-1915.

05.03/05.10.2017

[FRI., JULY 07]

HAMBONE’S. Ian Kane, Ronnie Weiss & Tom Boyce. Jazz Standards, showtunes & blues. 6:30 p.m. Lawrenceville. 412-681-4318. JERGEL’S RHYTHM GRILLE. Balcony Big Band. 7 p.m. Warrendale. 724-799-8333. SAVOY RESTAURANT. Jazzsurgery w/ Tony Campbell. 6 p.m. Strip District. 412-281-0660.

CITY OF ASYLUM @ ALPHABET CITY. Tony Campbell. 8 p.m. North Side. 412-435-1110. JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. Roger Romero. 7 p.m. Phatom Pop w/ The Bleil Brothers. 8 p.m. North Side. 412-904-3335. RIVERS CLUB. Jessica Lee & Friends. 5:30 p.m. Downtown. 412-391-5227.

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER

10,000 Maniacs

MON 08

WED 10

EARLY WARNINGS

PWR BTTM

Cattivo, 144 46th St., Lawrenceville [SAT., JULY 22]

10,000 Maniacs Mr. Smalls, 400 Lincoln Ave., Millvale [WED., JULY 26]

Spoon Stage AE, 400 NorthShore Drive, North Side

CRAFTY JACKALOPE. Eclectic Acoustics. 8 p.m. Bridgeville. 412-220-9785. JABO’S SMOQUE HOUSE AND SALOON. James Buckley. 1 p.m. Bloomfield. 724-882-0407.

SUN 07 CARNEGIE LECTURE HALL. Indigo Girls w/ Dom Kelly of A Fragile Tomorrow. 7 p.m. Oakland. HAMBONE’S. Calliope Old Time Appalachian Jam. 5 p.m. Lawrenceville. 412-681-4318.

WED 10 ALLEGHENY ELKS LODGE #339. Pittsburgh Banjo Club. 8 p.m. North Side. 412-321-1834. PARK HOUSE. Shelf Life String Band. 9 p.m. North Side. 412-224-2273. PENN HEBRON GARDEN CLUB. Penn Hills Coffeehouse. Singer songwriter showcase featuring a rotating lineup of jazz, acoustic, bluegrass & world music. 7 p.m. Thru June 8. Penn Hills. 412-204-7147. WHEELFISH. Jason Born. 7 p.m. Ross. 412-487-8909.

COUNTRY THU 04 ELWOOD’S PUB. The Fidlers. 7 p.m. Rural Ridge. 724-265-118. JERGEL’S RHYTHM GRILLE. Luke Pell. 8 p.m. Warrendale. 724-799-8333.

FRI 05 JERGEL’S RHYTHM GRILLE. The Lacs. 8 p.m. Warrendale. 724-799-8333.

CLASSICAL SAT 06 RIVER CITY BRASS PRESENTS: SWING INTO SUMMER. Ft. the music of Chick Corea, Maynard Ferguson & Stan Kenton. 7:30 p.m. Palace Theatre, Greensburg. 724-836-8000.

SUN 07 DANCES AND EPIC ADVENTURES. 7p.m. Carnegie Music Hall, Oakland. 412-391-0526. LOVE THAT’S HERE TO STAY: A TRIBUTE TO ROBERT PAGE. 7:30 p.m. Heinz Hall, Downtown. 412-392-4900.

WORLD

OTHER MUSIC

FRI 05

THU 04

JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. Afro Yaqui Music Collective & Low Down Brass Band. 8 p.m. North Side. 412-904-3335.

LINDEN GROVE. Karaoke. 8 p.m. Castle Shannon. 412-882-8687.

FRI 05

REGGAE

LINDEN GROVE. Nightlife. 9 p.m. Castle Shannon. 412-882-8687.

THU 04

SAT 06

PIRATA. The Flow Band. 9 p.m. Downtown. 412-323-3000.

STAGE AE. Tycho. 7p.m. North Side. 412-229-5483.

What to do IN PITTSBURGH

May 3 - 9 Breaking Benjamin

STAGE AE North Side. With special guest RED. Tickets: ticketmaster.com or 1-800-745-3000. Doors open at 6p.m.

Coco Montoya JERGEL’S RHYTHM GRILLE Warrendale. 724-799-8333. Tickets: ticketfly.com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 8p.m.

THURSDAY 4 Tarzan

BYHAM THEATER Downtown. 412-456-6666. Tickets: trustarts.org. Through May 14.

Katt Williams HEINZ HALL Downtown. 412-456-6666. Tickets: trustarts.org. 8p.m.

HEINZ HISTORY CENTER Downtown. For tickets & more info visit heinzhistorycenter.org. 7:30p.m.

Hell or Highwater SMILING MOOSE South Side. 412-431-4668. With special guest Shadowburn. All ages show. Tickets: ticketfly.com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 6p.m.

Charlie Wheeler Band

HEINZ HALL Downtown. 412-456-6666. Tickets: pittsburghsymphony. org. 7:30p.m.

FRIDAY 55

All That Remains

AUGUST WILSON CENTER Downtown. 412-456-6666. Tickets: trustarts.org 8p.m.

MR. SMALLS THEATRE Millvale. 412-421-4447. With special guests Through Fire, American Sin & NeverWake. All ages show. Tickets: ticketweb.com/ opusone. 7:30p.m.

Berio’s Laborintus II

SATURDAY 6

Chris Botti

MONDAY 8

Smoothfest Weekend: Jonathan Butler

JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY North Side. 412-904-3335. With special guests Dan Bubien Music Co. Over 21 show. Tickets: greyareaprod.com. 9p.m.

Tycho

WEDNESDAY 3

STAGE AE North Side. With special guest Khruangbin. Tickets: ticketmaster.com or 1-800-745-3000. Doors open at 7p.m.

Nick Barilla CLUB CAFE South Side. 412-431-4950. With special guest Hannah Jenkins. Over 21 show. Tickets: ticketweb.com/ opusone. 7p.m.

The Delta Saints CLUB CAFE South Side. 412-431-4950. With special guest Some Kind of Animal. Over 21 show. Tickets: ticket web.com/opusone. 8p.m.

TUESDAY 9

Pierce the Veil & Sum41

SMOOTHFEST WEEKEND AUGUST WILSON CENTER MAY 5 & 6

SUNDAY 7

Devour the Day

Greek Food Festival

HARD ROCK CAFE Station Square. 412-481-ROCK. With special guest Never Wake. Tickets: ticketfly.com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 8p.m.

ST. NICHOLAS CATHEDRAL Oakland. For schedules & more info visit stnickspgh.org. Through May 13.

Illuminate Pittsburgh

STAGE AE North Side. With special guests Emarosa & Chapel. Tickets: ticketmaster.com or 1-800-745-3000. Doors open at 6p.m.

Mind-Body-Spirit Festival CROWNE PLAZA PITTSBURGH South Hills. $5 admission. For more info visit illuminate pittsburgh.com. 11a.m.

Shen Yun BENEDUM CENTER Downtown. 412-456-6666. Tickets: trustarts.org. Through May 10.

To celebrate Live Nation’s

WE ARE GIVING AWAY TICKETS on all our social media channels to select shows from

NEWS

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[ART REVIEW]

IT’S UNCLEAR WHO’S THE OBJECT OF HIS GREATEST DISDAIN

TIMELESSNESS {BY JAMES LANIGAN}

INFO@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

REMEMBERING PITTSBURGH continues through May 21. Lantern Gallery, 600 Liberty Ave., Downtown. www.trustarts.org

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER

[BOOK REVIEW]

A North Side church, circa 1978-82, as photographed by David Aschkenas

In 1980, an amateur film called Downtown 81 was shot in New York’s Lower East Side. Lost for years, it was found, restored and released in 2000, but it’s much better ethnography than it is cinema. Everything from the film is now gone. The Lower East Side, then desolate and destitute, provides a powerful sense of the passing of time. Now trendy and prosperous, it is unrecognizable as the drab setting of the movie. David Aschkenas also happened to be working a camera in 1980. That year, the photographer received a grant from the National Endowment of the Arts to document Pittsburgh’s neighborhoods. Similar to Downtown 81, many of the negatives were tucked away until recently. After they were found, Aschkenas turned them into Remembering Pittsburgh, an exhibit at Downtown’s Lantern Building. The collection spans 1978-1982. Unlike New York, which routinely bulldozes the old to make room for the new, Aschkenas’ photographs exhibit Pittsburgh’s remarkable resistance to change. Pittsburgh has been built with an attitude of austerity and durability. Emerson once wrote that a necessary feature of great art is a “good-humored inflexibility.” Pittsburgh passes the test. Featuring mostly Pittsburgh’s East End neighborhoods, Remembering Pittsburgh suggests a collection of 62 stills from a film set in the 1970s but shot in Pittsburgh today. The Squirrel Hill Giant Eagle is the same, save for the dated advertisements. The shops and delis have the same family-owned theme (though the window displays are notably different: I found myself wishing candy and cigarettes were still displayed with such elaboration). The architecture, hillsides and people are all rough-cut and shadowed from cloud cover: features of a timeless Pittsburgh. In wall text, Aschkenas recalls thinking how many of his photos felt like they could have been taken in the 1940s. The Pittsburgh remembered here is the essential one, one that Aschkenas’ subtle and stoic photographs appropriately capture in black and white. And if Pittsburgh’s inflexibility is the key to its art, then its roots are the key to its durability. By capturing simple moments of the quotidian pulse of Pittsburgh life and livelihood, Aschkenas keeps these admirable qualities from slipping away. Aschkenas is restrained behind the lens — his photographs don’t do the work for you. But they inspire a curious mind. Remembering Pittsburgh invites reflection on the images and stories that stitch together Pittsburgh’s rich sense of identity and history.

GOING OLD TESTAMENT {PHOTO COURTESY OF CHANTAL FERIA BONITTO}

{BY BILL O’DRISCOLL}

F YOU WANT to set a novel up for failure, one way is to frame it as an “update” on a classic story. Often, the new work will be found lacking because it’s either too like the narrative that inspired it or too different. In any case, readers might spend so much time thinking about how the novel diverges or doesn’t from its source material that it simply proves a distraction. But here comes Jacob Bacharach, announcing that his second novel is nothing less than a contemporary take on the Old Testament story of Abraham and Isaac — the one where God orders the aged patriarch to sacrifice his ﬁrst-born. Happily, however, The Doorposts of Your House and On Your Gates not only avoids such pitfalls, but proves Pittsburgh-based Bacharach to be a novelist of depth and reach, and

05.03/05.10.2017

Jacob Bacharach

certainly no one-hit wonder after his entertaining 2014 debut, The Bend of the World. The new novel centers upon morally compromised architect Abbot “Abbie” Mayer and his family. Abbie’s an indifferently observant Jew but a literal visionary: He’s a pioneer in environmentally sustainable architecture who believes that God told him (more or less) to build himself a big “green” house in the woods. But naïve, idealistic Abbie, who starts out in New York City, ends up working in Southwestern Pennsylvania with his older sister, Veronica. There he becomes entangled in shady land deals involving, among other things, such ripped-from-the-headlines matters as the Mon-Fayette Expressway and fracking for natural gas. The story, set mostly in Pittsburgh proper and Fayette County, spans three decades, from the 1980s to the present. And much like

the Old Testament, it’s heavily concerned with both land ownership and matters of paternity, the latter especially involving Abbie’s wife, named Sarah (of course), and his son, Isaac (ditto), a dissolute young gay man who’s arguably both the novel’s most entertaining character and its most tragic. As Bacharach writes, the young man “professed to believe in whimsy as a guiding life principle, though he practiced something more akin to thoughtless inconsistency.” Bacharach’s tone is often comic, even socially satiric, Tom Wolfe by way of Wilde. When Isaac parties in Pittsburgh with his friend Isabel, another key character, Bacharach writes: “They’d been drinking, and they’d done some lines. … Isabel had the rictus of approximate fun that occludes the face of people over thirty who are acting if they’re still under it.” Bacharach skewers most every character’s pretensions, and he’s also at wittily limned details. When depressive, alcoholic Sarah is introduced, for instance, she’s wearing a “diamond tennis bracelet … [that] shone as if it were reﬂecting a bonﬁre made of all the paper money

THE DOORPOSTS OF YOUR HOUSE AND ON YOUR GATES

[BOOKS]

{BY BILL O’DRISCOLL}

By Jacob Bacharach Liveright, 384 pp., $15.95

In Doorposts, God might be regarded (to paraphrase John Lennon) as a concept by which we measure our moral decay. For Bacharach isn’t interested merely in pointing out the obvious — that people are greedy and corrupt. He’s most concerned with how they reconcile that reality with their image of themselves as good or even (dare we say) righteous. One locus of this dynamic is the Future Cities Institute, a suspect nonproﬁt promoting sustainable architecture that brings together characters including Abbie, Isabel, real-estate tycoon Arthur Imlak and a slippery character named Barry Fitzgerald. And elsewhere, Bacharach intriguingly asserts: There was — in society, in literature, in psychology — a belief in change by degrees, that a person moved by increments from good to bad, each tiny tick of the watchwork gears imperceptible until, over time, the hands on the face had visibly moved. …. But wasn’t it truer to say that the good and the evil, or the right and the wrong, or the sin and the righteousness, always coexisted within each person; he was neither one thing nor the other; not the clockwork, but the quartz, vibrating imperceptibly between alternate states, never, to the observer, in one or in the other; molecular; quantum; even the act of looking might alter it.”

Doorposts updates a facet of Genesis in the best way — not by merely retelling it in modern dress, but by expanding on its mysteries, which are, in the end, not mysteries of God but of the humans all around us. D R ISC OLL@ PGHC ITY PAP ER.CO M

NEWS

SOLD OUT NOW EXTENDED THROUGH MAY 14!

ALMA MATTER

Jake Oresick

in the world.” There are also largely humorous (if occasionally menacing) scenes of Abbie and associates’ dealings with powerbrokers in rural Fayette County. Yet if the novel’s surface is glossily fun, Bacharach also obviously has deeper concerns; the book’s title, after all, quotes Deuteronomy outlining how to profess one’s love of God. Abbie intermittently rails at God, in whom he might or might not actually believe. And when he more than once “jokingly” pimps out his wife to business associates, it’s unclear who’s the object of his greatest disdain: her, them or himself. One highly amusing chapter is, cleverly, rendered in the form of the transcript of an arbitration hearing (in which the arbitrator assumes a distinctly god-like role).

MUSIC

Jake Oresick’s new book, The Schenley Experiment (Pennsylvania State University Press, $19.95), comes out months before the storied high school it chronicles is set to reopen — as 180 luxury apartments. The coincidental timing ironically emphasizes the Oakland institution’s status as both a beloved alma mater and a locus of social change. Schenley High School, its landmark triangular limestone building built in 1916, was the renamed Pittsburgh Central High School, the city’s first public high school. Graduates include Andy Warhol, jazz legend Earl “Fatha” Hines, Broadway star Vivian Reed and famed black law professor Derrick Bell. It was a pioneering site for racial, ethnic and socioeconomic diversity and — although this quality waxed and waned — for academic excellence too. Oresick, an attorney and public-policy analyst, graduated from Schenley in 2001, when the school was both highly diverse and highly desirable. (Schoolmates included Jesse Andrews, whose novel Me and Earl and the Dying Girl was set at a fictionalized Schenley, where part of the 2015 film version was shot.) Oresick, a student in one of the school’s successful magnet programs, remains proud of Schenley’s legacy of diversity; indeed, he can still view Schenley from the window of his home. The 210-page book is Oresick’s first. Research materials included press accounts, school records and more than 350 interviews he conducted with former Schenley students and faculty; it’s thoroughly footnoted, appendices dense with data from Schenley’s illustrious sporting history. While school desegration, busing and racial strife loomed, Oresick says he had trouble finding negative stories about Schenley. It was, after all, the school where in 1924, white students organized to cheer on a black classmate at oratorical competitions. But it’s also a school that had no black teachers until the 1950s, and Oresick strives to represent that history accurately. Likewise Schenley’s controversial demise: In 2008, the school district shuttered the building because asbestos contamination supposedly made renovations too costly. While Oresick presents the controversy evenhandedly, he believes that information that’s come out in recent years proves Schenley could have been renovated affordably. “Ending Schenley cost more money than saving it,” he says. At a May 8 event, Oresick moderates a panel discussion featuring longtime Schenley educators Carol Dyas, Fred Lucas and Carol Sperandeo, and John Young, the school’s principal from 1979-1991.

WILD WITH HAPPY BY

Colman Domingo

DIRECTED BY

OUTRAGEOUS COMEDY

Reginald L. Douglas

Use code CITYCITY to save $5 on single tickets

BUY YOUR TICKETS TODAY! 412.431.CITY (2489) / CityTheatreCompany.org / South Side

E.. YOU’LL H HA AV E THE TTIM IME ME OF YOUR YOU UR R LIFE. LLIIFE

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MAY 23-28 • HEINZ HALL

THE SCHENLEY EXPERIMENT PANEL DISCUSSION 6 p.m. Mon., May 8. Carnegie Library Lecture Hall, 4400 Forbes Ave., Oakland. Free. 412-622-8866 or www.pittsburghlectures.org +

ARTS

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TRUS TRUS U TA TARTS. S ORG • BOXX OF O FICE AT THHEA EATE TERR SQ SQUUARE UA REE 41241 2-39 392-4900 • GROUP P S 10 10+ TI T CKK ET ETSS 41 4122 47711 69 6930 300 PNC BROADWAY WAY I N PIT PI TSBURGH IS A PRESENTATION P N OF TTHE HEE PI PIT P T T SBUR SB SBURGH CULTURAL TRUST, TRUST , PIT TSBURGH TS BURGH URGH GH S YMPHONY YMPHON YMPHO H AND NDD BBR OADWAY ADWAY D WA DWAY WAY AAYY ACROSS AMERICA.

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M C KEESPORT LITTLE THEATER PRESENTS...

by Cole Porter

MAY 5, 6, 7, 12, 13, 14, 19, 20, 21, 2017 Friday and Saturday performances at 8:00p.m.; Sunday matinees at 2:00 p.m. TICKETS ARE $18.00, $12.00 FOR STUDENTS - GROUP RATES AVAILABLE. HANDICAPPED ACCESSIBLE.

1614 COURSIN STREET • McKEESPORT • (412) 673-1100 FOR RESERVATIONS VISIT OUR WEBSITE AT WWW.MCKEESPORTLITTLETHEATER.COM {PHOTO COURTESY OF DAVID BACHMAN PHOTOGRAPHY}

Alfred Walker (center) in The Summer King, at Pittsburgh Opera

[PLAY REVIEWS]

HIT SHOW {BY MICHELLE PILECKI} SOME 70 YEARS after his largely unher-

alded death, Josh Gibson gains even more of a deservedly heroic stature with Pittsburgh Opera’s world premiere of The Summer King: The Josh Gibson Story. The subject of various books, poems and plays, the Negro Leagues star is the ﬁrst (and only) baseball player to move into opera, a coproduction with Michigan Opera Theater — and Pittsburgh Opera’s ﬁrst-ever world premiere — after 14 years of work by composer/librettist Daniel Sonenberg.

unique, legendary home run that exited Yankee Stadium in 1930. There is no proof that this actually happened. There is no evidence that it didn’t. That conundrum tickles the entire tale. Sonenberg (with co-librettist Daniel Nester, and additional lyrics by Mark Campbell), not surprisingly, plays loosely with Gibson’s actual biography and chronology. In any case, his “summer king” is doomed to fail in autumn, and die by winter. Gibson’s glory days collide with his greatest sorrows. His greatness went largely unrecognized until well after his death. Bass-baritone Alfred Walker, as full in voice and stature as the title character, commands the stage. Opposite him as his various ladies, Jasmine Muhammad thrills as long-time hard-luck mistress Hattie, with Jacqueline Echols as his beloved wife, Helen, and Denyce Graves as the femme fatale Grace (and note how fabulously costume designer Kaye Voyce dresses her). Kenneth Kellogg is a vocal and acting delight as Josh’s closest buddy. A vocally rich mixed (in terms of ages, genders, colors, etc.) chorus ﬁlls out the splendor of this ambitious production directed by Sam Helfrich (conductor Antony Walker, assistant conductor Glenn Lewis, chorus master Mark Trawka). Media designer Robert Wierzel nimbly portrays both the locales of Gibson’s times and his torments.

BASS-BARITONE ALFRED WALKER COMMANDS THE STAGE.

THE SUMMER KING continues through Sun., May 7. Pittsburgh Opera at the Benedum Center, 237 Seventh St., Downtown. $12-155. 412-281-0912 or www.pittsburghopera.org

Not a “classical” tragic ﬁgure brought low by his own hubris, Gibson was defeated by outside forces (particularly systemic racism and exploitation) as well as by his inner demons, which might have been conquered in a just world. A Pittsburgh resident since childhood, he played for teams including the Pittsburgh Crawfords and Homestead Grays. By various measures, he was the greatest ballplayer — certainly the greatest hitter — who ever lived, cemented by his

I N F O@ P G H C I T Y PA P E R. C OM

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER

05.03/05.10.2017

PRIVATE HELLS {BY STUART SHEPPARD} WE’RE NEVER really told what Willy

Loman sells, but like any salesman, he’s really selling himself. Portraying such an archetypal character in one of the American theater’s canonical works is itself a tough sales job, yet Zach Grenier succeeds in creating a vivid and original interpretation of this man whose fate is summed up by the title of Arthur Miller’s 1949 play, Death of a Salesman (presented by Pittsburgh Public Theater). Although we live in an era that celebrates public outrage, and seems to justify personal grievances more when they can be anchored to larger social constructs, great dramas usually focus on the problems of the individual. As Susan Sontag observed 50 years ago in an essay on Miller, “The best modern plays are those devoted to raking up private, rather than public, hells.” Grenier, an accomplished stage, ﬁlm and TV actor, literally grinds himself into the earth over the course of the play, as if Willy’s growing smaller, or sinking into his own private hell.

DEATH OF A SALESMAN

{PHOTO COURTESY OF MICHAEL HENNINGER}

Kathleen McNenny and Zach Grenier in Death of a Salesman at Pittsburgh Public Theater

AUDIENCE OF ONE

the ﬂoor. She could give Heidegger lessons in phenomenology. Willy’s wife Linda (played with dynamic restraint by Kathleen McNenny) picks up the pieces, and sees the bigger picture: “A small man can be just as exhausted as a great man.” Sons Biff (Alex Mickiewicz) and Happy (Maxwell Eddy) amount to nothing more than living, empty dreams for Willy (both actors convey the feckless energy these roles demand), while his dead brother Ben (Tuck Milligan) persists as a powerful, consoling ghost. James Noone’s set is as pragmatic as it is simple — well-suited to furnishing a dreamscape — and Tilly Grimes’ costumes evoke the feel of that famous cover from the Viking Press edition we all read in high school. This production certainly reminds us how personal hell can be.

{BY BILL O’DRISCOLL} EVER SINCE 2012’s STRATA — an epic un-

dertaking that occupied most of a Downtown building and employed a cast, crew and creative team of dozens — Bricolage Production Company has made a cottage industry of immersive theater. These shows putting audience members “into the play” have mostly been full-length affairs: OjO, the co-production Saints Tour — Braddock, even the escape room Enter the Imaginarium. But Bricolage has also been experimenting with shorter, moreor-less-invitation-only productions called Immersive Encounters. The ﬁrst of these to be open to the public is The Ascendants, a 25-minute immersive from much of the creative team behind STRATA, including co-creators Jeffrey

IT’S IMMERSIVE THEATER IN LUNCH-HOUR PORTIONS.

continues through May 21. Pittsburgh Public Theater, 621 Penn Ave., Downtown. $15.75-66. 412-316-1600 or www.ppt.org

His Willy is inebriated with failure, such that he is living more in reverie than in reality, like a man on an existential bender of despair and regret. Director Mary B. Robinson helps the action skip around in time (reﬂecting the distorted temporality in Willy’s head), brilliantly intertwining decades-apart scenes like someone reliving memories from a photo album that’s been shaken all over

Carpenter, Tami Dixon and Sam Turich and lead writer Gab Cody. Because the element of surprise is crucial to enjoying the show, I can’t provide too much detail; in fact, ticket-buyers won’t even learn where to report Downtown until 24 hours before showtime. But it’s fair to say that while Ascendants takes viewers on a journey, it’s less like STRATA (which felt like being in movie) and more like 2014’s OjO, in which visitors were blindfolded and led around Downtown streets and carefully arranged indoor spaces to suggest the experiences of sightimpaired folks. Ascendants is also solitary; even if you buy tickets in groups (of up to four), you’ll have the experience alone. The show provides complete immersion through a combination of sensory deprivation and allusiveness that has the feeling of lucid dreaming in an exploration of one’s feelings about mortality. (Note: While you do have to sign a release form, the experience is completely safe.) While there are two “dream hosts” (played by Andrea Kozia and Michael Brewer), you’ll spend the most quality time with the painstakingly crafted sound design, by Sarah Pickett, Chris Evans and David Gotwald.

THE ASCENDANTS continues through May 14. Bricolage Production Company, Downtown. $15. www.bricolagepgh.org

Theatrically, Ascendants is interesting because Bricolage uses technology to direct your attention more precisely than any conventional stage director (or even a closeup-happy ﬁlm director) ever could. Ascendants is short enough to be enjoyed during a lunch hour, with midday performances available for just that purpose. Multiple showings are scheduled daily Wednesdays through Sundays through May 14. D RI S C OL L @ P G HC I T Y PA P E R. C OM

I N F O @PGH C IT YPAPE R . C O M

FINAL WEEKS THROUGH MAY 14 FREE ADMISSION

THEFRICKPITTSBURGH.ORG 412-371-0600

Peter Paul Rubens, Portrait of Charlotte-Marguerite de Montmorency, Princess of Condé (detail), c. 1610. Oil on canvas, Frick Art & Historical Center.

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FOR THE WEEK OF

05.04-05.11.17

FreeEvent

BY BILL O’DRISCOLL

Opening reception: 6-8:30 p.m. Sat., May 6 (free). Exhibit continues through June 2. 518 Foreland St., North Side. www.artistsimageresource.org

Making your own light saber or Padwan braids? Felting your own Death Star? All that and more is possible on Thu., May 4 at May the 4th Be With You, a Star Wars-themed episode of the Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh after-hours MAKEnight. The sessions let 21-andovers loose for hands-on fun in the museum’s MAKESHOP, with snacks and complimentary adult beverages. 6:309:30 p.m. 10 Children’s Way, North Side. $15-25. www.pittsburghkids.org

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER

{ART BY DAWN POGANY}

Artist Carolyn Pierotti went to college at age 40; graduating into the workforce in middle age was “scary,” she says. Among other things, the mother of three was told that her kids were a career hindrance, and she was subject both to sexual harassment and to gender-based deficits of accolades, credit and pay appropriate to her contributions. “I go through it all the time, and it’s insane,” she says. In this, of course, Pierotti is not alone — not even in the arts community, where observers might expect more enlightenment. Now Pierotti has curated DIGS — Sexism in the Arts, a group show opening May 6 at Artists Image Resource. The show’s titled for the multiple “digs” from men that women artists and curators face daily. The 13 contributing artists in a variety of media include Sarika Goulatia, Christiane D., Julie Mallis, Oreen Cohen, Dawn Pogany, Staycee Pearl and Danielle Robinson. Pierotti owns the Purple Room Fine Art consultancy, and is gallery manager at Wilkinsburg’s Percolate Art Space. She says she’s doing DIGS for her children — her 10-year-old son as much as her daughters, ages 13 and 21. Making art about an issue, after all, can have effects that simple discussion couldn’t: “Once you put it on the wall, and maybe people feel uncomfortable about that, it’s really putting the message out there,” she says.

Full events listed online at www.pghcitypaper.com

^ Sat., May 6: The Monologue Project

thursday 05.04 STAGE Advocacy group Arts Out Loud hosts the second annual LGBTQ community storytelling event Speak Out Loud Pittsburgh! The special guest at this free evening at the Trust Arts Education Center is Los Angeles-based choreographer and dancer Terrance Spencer (best known as a dancer for Adam Lambert), who’ll choreograph a new performance work with local LGBTQ dance students. Also expect spoken-word poetry by Brittney Chantele (pictured), music by Jude Benedict, and speakers from the local arts community and Mayor Peduto’s new LGBTQ Advisory Council. Bill O’Driscoll 6:30 p.m. 805-807 Liberty Ave., Downtown. Free; registration required at www.artsoutloud.org.

STAGE Fans of PICT Classic Theatre’s 2015 production of Sharon’s Grave will want to check out the play John B. Keane wrote just before it. Sive is the beloved Irish playwright’s tragic 1959 romance about an impoverished young village girl who’s sold to a rich old man for 200 pounds. The play’s Pittsburgh premiere, directed by PICT’s Alan Stanford, stars Cassidy Adkins in the title role, and its cast includes local favorites Karen Baum,

05.03/05.10.2017

Sharon Brady, James FitzGerald and Martin Giles. Tonight is the first performance at the Union Project. BO 8 p.m. Continues through May 20. 801 N. Negley Ave., Highland Park. $15-50. 41-561-6000 or www.picttheatre.org

friday 05.05 EXHIBIT Many will recall the big exhibit of Dale Chihuly’s botanically inspired glass art at Phipps Conservatory 10 years back. Phipps aims for another blockbuster with Super.Natural., by Seattle-based Jason Gamrath, who creates detailed likenesses of botanicals on a larger-than-life scale, some up to 14 feet tall. Forty works by Gamrath, in eight rooms, include orchids, pitcher plants, a Venus flytrap — and Phipps’ famous corpse flower, at monster scale but sans stench. The show opens tomorrow — but sneak-preview it tonight at Party in the Tropics, with a DJ, cash bar and more, free with museum admission. BO 9:30-5 p.m. 1 Schenley Drive, Oakland. $11.95-17.95 (free for kids under 2). 412-622-6914 or www.phipps.conservatory.org ^ Thu., May 4: Sive {PHOTO COURTESY OF PICT CLASSIC THEATRE}

^ Thu., May 4: Speak Out Loud Pittsburgh!

ART Big night on Penn Avenue, as the monthly Unblurred gallery crawl meets the eighth annual Geek Art/Green Innovators festival; the latter, themed Love, Peace, Robots, features environmentally minded art and tech at venues and sidewalk displays all along Penn. Unblurred highlights include the opening of States of Flux, a Pittsburgh Glass Center exhibit of experimental works by internationally exhibited glass artist Leana Quade, featuring a circular room made of glass panels. There’ll also be glassblowing demos by Jason Gamrath, in town for his big new exhibit at Phipps Conservatory. BO 6 p.m. 4800-6000 Penn Ave., Bloomfield/Garfield/Friendship/ East Liberty. Free. www.face book.com (“GAGI Pittsburgh”)

COMEDY At times, Katt Williams has been known as much for his run-ins with the law as for his standup comedy and roles in films like Friday After Next. As Williams himself has acknowledged, “Any time you are standing next to Suge Knight and you are the one going to jail, that is a wake-up call for your ass.” But Williams remains on the road: His Great America Tour brings him to Heinz Hall. The show is tonight. BO 8 p.m. 600 Penn Ave., Downtown. $45.75-145.75. 412-392-4900 or www.pittsburghsymphony.org

STAGE Among young-adult books {PHOTO COURTESY OF LUMINA STUDIOS} with a local connection, the ^ Fri., May 5: Super.Natural. most popular include The Perks of Being a Wallflower, Stephen Chbosky’s 1999 best-seller informed by his experiences more than a decade earlier at Upper St. Clair High School. The popular film adaptation of the story centering on wallflower Charlie was written and directed by Chbosky and shot here. Now Prime Stage Theatre closes its season with the regional premiere of Hailey Rohn’s stage adaptation. Jeffrey M. Cordell directs; the first performance is tonight. BO 8 p.m. Continues through May 14. New Hazlett Theater, 6 Allegheny Square East, North Side. $5-25. www.primestage.com CONTINUES ON PG. 32

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{PHOTO COURTESY OF VENTURE OUTDOORS}

^ Sat., May 6: Kayak Pittsburgh

saturday 05.06 OUTDOORS

ART

It might not be officially spring around here until opening day for Kayak Pittsburgh. Starting today, the North Side location of this nonprofit Venture Outdoors offshoot, which rents kayaks for river jaunts, is open weekends through Memorial Day, after which daily summer hours begin. It’s easy paddling, and a great way to tour the city. BO 10 a.m.-8 p.m. Beneath the Clemente Bridge. Rates from $16 an hour for solo kayaks. www.ventureoutdoors.org

Whether abstract, representational or hovering in between, the paintings of Fabrizio Gerbino glow with light. Even a stack of railroad ties has a muted effulgence. A two-day solo exhibit of this local artist’s paintings and video opens tonight with a reception at the Ryan Arts and Culture Center. BO Reception: 6-9 p.m. Also 3-6 p.m. Sun., May 7. 420 Chartiers Ave., McKees Rocks. Free. www.forstorox.org

WORDS

MUSIC It’s music for community, music for social justice, music for fun. And plenty to eat. That’s Pittonkatonk May Day Brass BBQ & Potluck, which returns for its fourth year today. The groovy, communal all-day grassroots event hosts brass bands from around the country, from Balkan brass and activist marching bands to samba and New Orleans swing, from Oakland, Calif.’s La Misa Negra to Pittsburgh’s Drum Lines and Hard Rhymes. It’s free, with no corporate sponsorship; people spread out on the lawn of Schenley Park’s Vietnam Veterans Pavilion to chill, dance and listen. And the potluck rules. BO 1-11 p.m. Oakland. Free. www.pittonkatonk.org

Free Association Reading Series calls tonight’s event Alphabet Rodeo, and indeed it’s a round-up of six varied and notable local literary talents. Readers include Maggie Messitt, a widely pubished journalist and editor who’s now an educator in Carlow University’s graduate program, and whose novel The Rainy Season was longlisted for South Africa’s 2016 Sunday Times Alan Paton Award. Other guests include fiction writer Jolene McIlwain, poet Robert Walicki, poet Celeste Gainey, novelist Mason Radkoff, and Free Association founder Pat Hart. BO 7 p.m. 801 Rebecca Ave., Wilkinsburg. Free. freeassociationreadings@gmail.com

STAGE STAGE Art is a crucible of both expression and representation. Yet when it comes to seemingly simple things like finding relevant monologues for auditions, black women are often left out. The Monologue Project — happening in Pittsburgh, Los Angeles and New York City — asked writers from around the country to contribute monologues for women of the African diaspora. Today, at the Charity Randall Theatre, local professional and student actors (like Dominique Brock, pictured) gather to perform some of these original works by award-winning writers including Amy Evans, Dominique Morisseau, Charlayne Woodard, Mfoniso Udofia and Pittsburgh-based Yona Harvey. A post-show discussion ties into the Black Lives Matter movement. BO 2 p.m. 4200 Fifth Ave., Oakland. Free. RSVP to gcody@dramatistsguild.com.

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER

05.03/05.10.2017

The legacy of Hurricane Katrina is summoned in Hercules Didn’t Wade in the Water. The play, by New York-based Michael A. Jones (a Pittsburgh native), finds two men, Tupelo and Youngblood, trapped on a rooftop, surrounded by stagnant water, while two women hundreds of miles away, Charmaine and Maxine, struggle with life’s challenges. Pittsburgh Playwrights Theatre Co. stages the play’s Pittsburgh premiere, directed by Wali Jamal and starring Sam Lothard, Shanita Bivins and Corey Lankford. Tonight is opening night. BO 8 p.m. Continues through May 21. 937 Liberty Ave., Downtown. $22.50. www.pghplaywrights.com ^ Sat., May 6: Pittonkatonk May Day Brass BBQ & Potluck {PHOTO COURTESY OF PITTONKATONK}

the

THE MENU IS AN AMALGAM OF REFINEMENT AND UNPRETENTIOUSNESS THAT HOLDS A LOT OF PROMISE

COFFEE COMMUNITY Downtown Coraopolis is compact and walkable, with plenty of potential charm. The problem is, like many other small river towns, it hasn’t seen much commercial development for decades. In terms of drawing large numbers of patrons to local establishments, there was “no there there.” But things are starting to change in the Ohio River borough, and the coffee-hounds at Anchor and Anvil are getting in on the action. In February, Anchor and Anvil opened a large coffee shop on Fifth Street, complete with modern decor, comfy couches and two large garage doors that open onto the heart of borough’s business district. “I just see it as an opportunity,” says co-owner Andy Theobald. “There is not something like this anywhere nearby.” Theobald and his wife, Tracy, opened the first Anchor and Anvil Coffee Bar three years ago in Ben Avon across the river. The new Coraopolis location also gets its beans and equipment from Michigan-based Madcap Roasters, which Theobald says is known for responsibleand sustainable-sourcing practices. Theobald says he wants his coffee bars to be known for two things: high-quality coffee and a comfortable, pub-like atmosphere. He encourages patrons to try their espresso straight up, or indulge in the “Parking Chair latte,” which Theobald says tastes like “melted espresso ice cream.” He also says Anchor and Anvil can make 15 different madeto-order iced or hot teas. Pastries are available, and a limited breakfast and lunch menu is in the works. The space is wide open — clean and bright, with plush leather couches and plenty of electrical outlets. Theobald hopes to give people in western Allegheny County a place to work or relax that the giant retailers in Robinson and strip malls in Moon don’t offer. And Theobald hopes not just to attract coffee-lovers to Anchor and Anvil, but also to contribute to a positive transformation of Coraopolis. “We want to be part of a larger vision for a walkable Coraopolis,” says Theobald. “We want it to be a community gathering place.” RYANDETO@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

1032 Fifth Ave., Coraopolis. www.anchoranvilcoffee.com NEWS

Anchor and Anvil’s new Coraopolis location {CP PHOTO BY RYAN DETO}

{BY RYAN DETO}

{CP PHOTO BY VANESSA SONG}

Wood-roasted Locust Point chicken with hearty greens, sweet onion salad and schmaltz vinaigrette

FINE DINING {BY ANGELIQUE BAMBERG + JASON ROTH}

HEF DEREK STEVENS made his

name at the helm of Eleven, a wellrespected fine-dining destination. Thus, there was much anticipation around the opening of Stevens’ own venture, Union Standard, in the gorgeously restored Union Trust Building, Downtown. The building is a fantasia of Flemish Gothic ornament, with a spectacular 11-story atrium, surmounted by a stainedglass dome. In contrast, Union Standard’s two-level space is decidedly simple, but not austere. Its finishes suggest quality without ostentation: supple leather booth seating, walnut-topped tables and marble flooring. There is a four-sided raw bar and a stunning mural of the Western Pennsylvania mountains. The mural sets up the menu, which emphasizes local and foraged ingredients

on a level that goes beyond the rote. Western Pennsylvania’s culinary history is a humble one of immigrant traditions and mill taverns. A beet-pickled egg on a paté platter feels like a gesture toward

UNION STANDARD 524 William Penn Place, Downtown. 412-281-0738 HOURS: Lunch Mon-Fri. 11 a.m.-2 p.m.; dinner Mon.-Thu. 5-10 p.m., Fri.-Sat. 5-11 p.m. PRICES: Appetizers $6-14, entrees $18-42 LIQUOR: Full bar

CP APPROVED this heritage, a straightforward streak in the midst of the luxury symbolized by the building and, frankly, by paté. In all, Stevens’ menu is an amalgam of reﬁnement and unpretentiousness that holds

a lot of promise. The promise went unfulfilled by our first dish, a dandelion salad that should be effortless to produce in early spring. But the leaves in our salad more resembled raw kale: tough stems and bitter, dark greens that weren’t wilted, massaged or even sufficiently dressed to render them remotely palatable. In this context, the other components — a mix of halved baby French radishes and sliced regular ones, hard-boiled eggs, cucumber and goat cheese — struggled to come together in the bacon vinaigrette. The best texture in this salad was provided by brilliant little ribbons of crispy parsnip. An appetizer of roasted cauliflower was also afflicted by passive dressing, in this case, “deviled-egg dressing.” We were intrigued, but its mild flavor and scant CONTINUES ON PG. 34

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MEXICAN RESTAURANT & BAR

OAXACAN CUISINE

FRIDAY, MAY 5TH

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• CHICKEN/ BEEF BULGOGI • PORK, BEEF SHORT RIB • SEAFOOD, VEGETABLES

THIS FRIDAY! $ 3 TEQUILA SHOTS, $ 5 DRAFTS, $3 TECATE, $ 10 MARGARITA SHAKERS,

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Voted BEST Food Festival two years in a row by City Paper Readers! St. Nicholas Greek Orthodox Cathedral

56th Annual

Sunday, May 7 to Saturday, May 13 Enjoy Wonderful Greek Food, Pastries & Lively Dancing SERVING HOURS Sunday: Noon to 8p Monday thru Thursday: 11a to 9p Friday & Saturday: 11a to 10p (music til midnight) Credit Cards Accepted LIKE US ON FACEBOOK

*St. Nicholas Cathedral is located on the corner of S. Dithridge St. and Forbes Ave., across from The Carnegie Museum.

Take-out service available Monday through Saturday* Visit the FOOD FESTIVAL section of our website: stnickspgh.org to place your ORDER ONLINE! (*Saturday dinner only)

amount were hardly sufficient to season the aggressively fire-roasted brassica. Oyster and clam stew paired in-shell littlenecks with grilled and shucked oysters and big oyster crackers in a broth that, at first, tasted pleasingly briny, but grew saltier with each spoonful. Salt also took over a side dish of onion spaetzle, which had good texture and flavor, but w needed to be paired with bites of somen thing blander. t A mini-loaf of potato bread, warm from the oven and served with cultured f butter, goat butter, and an apricot jam inb spired by Italian mostarda, had a glossy, s deep-brown crust and tender, luscious d crumb. Unfortunately, too much coarse c salt was sprinkled on top, so that when s sliced, some bites were very salty and oths ers, e not at all. Moreover, the knife we were given for slicing was a steak knife with g serrations only at the tip, resulting in each slice being half-cut, half-torn. This didn’t affect the flavor, but it was a surprising failure of detail at a restaurant whose prices suggest that every detail receives meticulous attention. Which brings us to the service. Union Standard employs a battery of servers: water-pourers, order-takers, kitchen-runners. The advantages of this approach are prompt delivery of hot dishes and never risking dehydration. The disadvantage: Only our main server seemed empowered to actually address issues like a mistaken glass of wine or a request for another side, so when that server disappeared for 15 minutes mid-meal, we were left hanging. Most of these concerns vaporized with the delivery of our main courses. A highquality strip steak was cooked close to perfectly, with a consistent, deep-mahogany crust that wasn’t sullied by excess char. A wood-grilled pork chop took a different path to excellence, with smokiness and light grill marks. The steak’s accompaniments — batons of lightly roasted celeriac and grilled baby bok choy — didn’t add much, but alongside the pork, grilled apple and sunflower sprouts over polenta were delicious. Ramp fettuccine served the gems of West Virginia’s forest floor in savory combination with braised lamb, maitake mushrooms, asparagus, fingerling potato and goat cheese over tender green noodles. Apparently housemade, these had clumped up a bit in the cooking, but the sturdy, earthy flavors of this dish showcased pungent ramps at their best. In all, Union Standard does a number of things well, notably meat. But it needs to modulate its approach to vegetables, seafood and starch to achieve superlative results across the menu board. INF O @PGH C IT YPAPE R . C O M

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER

05.03/05.10.2017

[PERSONAL CHEF]

BRUSSEL SPROUTS AND ASPARAGUS {BY JACKIE PAGE-HEIDELBERG, OF JACKIE KENNEDY CATERING} I’m a farmers’ market freak! I live for the season, and my spring and summer menus consist heavily of products I buy from the several markets that I visit. This recipe is healthy and delicious, and the balsamic from Olive & Marlowe sends it into the stratosphere. It’s also vegan, but for my meat-lovers, crumbled bacon makes this dish madness. I volunteer with 412 Food Rescue. One day, I was going in to do some office work and decided to bring lunch for the crew. Because most everyone who works in the office is vegetarian or vegan, I brought this dish, along with some pineapple salsa and chips. I have really learned how to cook with what is fresh and readily available. Local and sustainable are best, especially in my catering business. It makes a big difference, and food is noticeably fresher and tastier. With the season for farmers’ markets approaching, find out which one is nearest to you and go! INGREDIENTS • One bunch asparagus, trimmed and cut into 1½-inch pieces • 1½ pounds of Brussels sprouts, trimmed and halved • ½ cup red onion, diced • 5 tbsp. olive oil • ¼ cup Olive & Marlowe 25 Star balsamic vinegar • salt and pepper, to taste INSTRUCTIONS Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Cover two cookie sheets with parchment paper. Blanch the Brussels sprouts in boiling water for two minutes, and then the asparagus for one minute. Immediately, shock both in ice water to halt cooking. Toss the Brussels sprouts with two tablespoons of olive oil, salt and pepper, and place cut-side down on one of the baking sheets. Bake for 40 minutes. Meanwhile, toss the asparagus with two tablespoons of olive oil, salt and pepper, and place on the second baking sheet. Bake with the Brussels sprouts for the last 15 minutes of the cooking process, so that they will be done at the same time. Sauté the red onion in one tablespoon of olive oil until soft. Place all the cooked items in a serving dish and toss. Finally, drizzle with the balsamic vinegar. If you like bacon, this is the time to add it. INFO@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

WE WANT YOUR PERSONAL RECIPES AND THE STORIES BEHIND THEM. EMAIL THEM TO CELINE@PGHCITYPAPER.COM.

AUGUST HENRY’S BENJAMIN’S BURGER BAR BLOCK 292 BRGR BURGATORY BURGH’ERS CAIN’S SALOON THE COMMONER DOROTHY 6 BLAST FURNACE CAFE EASE: MODERN COMFORT CUISINE THE FOUNDRY TABLE & TAP HARD ROCK CAFE HONEST JOHN’S THE MODERN CAFE OVER THE BAR BICYCLE CAFE PIG IRON PUBLIC HOUSE PITTSBURGH STEAK COMPANY SHARP EDGE SOCIAL STACK’D STATION SUNNY JIM’S TESSARO’S

MAY 15-21

CUSTOM BURGERS ALL WEEK LONG www.pghburgerweek.com #pghburgerweek NEWS

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BOOZE BATTLES {BY CELINE ROBERTS}

Each week, we order the same cocktail at two different bars for a friendly head-to-head battle. Go to the bars, taste both drinks and tell us what you like about each by tagging @pghcitypaper on Twitter or Instagram and use #CPBoozeBattles. If you want to be a part of Booze Battles, send an email to food-and-beverage writer Celine Roberts, at celine@pghcitypaper.com.

THE DRINK: COFFEE COCKTAILS

{CP PHOTO BY JOHN COLOMBO}

Patrons make a toast during Couch Brewery’s grand opening on Sat., April 29.

[ON THE ROCKS]

CHILL DEVELOPMENT {BY DREW CRANISKY}

Piper’s Pub

CRAFT-BEER drinkers have never had more

1828 E. Carson St., South Side DRINK: Good Morning & Good Night INGREDIENTS: Maggie’s Farm La Revuelta dark rum, Bulleit rye whiskey, chocolate bitters, allspice dram, cold-brew coffee OUR TAKE: The aroma of freshly brewed coffee hits the nose first, followed by the nutty taste of rum and allspice. The result is spicy, but not hot, with a slight bitterness from the chocolate bitters to round out the sweeter flavors.

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options for enjoying their favorite beverage. You can head out and hit any of the dozens of craft breweries Pittsburgh now has to offer. On the other hand, sometimes all you want to do is curl up on the couch, crack open a cold one, and relax. At Larimer’s new Couch Brewery, you can do a little of both. Like many craft breweries, Couch was born when a few dudes got obsessed with homebrewing. Co-owner Darren Gailey remembers the day he was invited to try some old friends’ homebrew. Having been disappointed by subpar home recipes in the past, Gailey approached with

trepidation. But after one taste of Cary Shaffer and Mike Pearrow’s raspberry oatmeal stout (now called Raspberry Duvet), Gailey knew this was different. “I immediately said, ‘We can make a business out of this,’” he recalls.

COUCH BREWERY 1351 Washington Blvd., Larimer. www.couchbrewery.com

Along with a fourth partner, Barry Himes, Pearrow, Shaffer and Gailey began mapping out the business and searching for a space. Tragedy struck in 2015,

when Himes died in a car crash. But the trio pressed on. “Barry would not have wanted us to stop,” says Gailey. The team finally found a home in the former Crossfit Pittsburgh gym on Washington Boulevard, choosing the building for its high visibility and abundant parking. Though people once went there to sweat, Gailey hopes Couch’s customers will do the opposite. “We just want everyone to come in, relax and have fun,” he explains. “We made our place super casual and kind of funky … a throwback to the ’60s and ’70s.” A 75-year-old bar, rescued from an Italian bar in Tarentum, anchors the space, which is filled with comfy armchairs, loveseats and (what else?) couches. In keeping with the theme, all of Couch’s beers are named after things you’d have found in a typical 1970s living room. Offerings range from Blonde Shag, an approachable blonde ale hopped with lemony Sorachi Ace hops, to Ottoman Empire, an aggressive double IPA that clocks in at 8 percent ABV. Two brews will be offered on nitro for Couch’s rotating Velvet Series, which is currently pouring an IPA and an oatmeal stout. And if you don’t like beer at all, don’t worry. Couch also serves up a sizable selection of Pennsylvaniamade meads, ciders, wines and liquors. Couch Brewery officially opened this past Saturday. For now, it will be open Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays, though Gailey says those hours are likely to expand. Though the taproom does not serve food, the brewery aims to feature a food truck every night it is open. Gailey hopes to eventually distribute some beer and perhaps do some canning. But for now, the brewery is focused on making good beer and giving people a place to unwind. As Gailey is fond of saying, “There’s no better place to drink a beer than on your couch.” I N F O@ P G HC I T Y PA P E R. C OM

This week on Sound Bite: Revival Chili looks to strengthen our communities through healthy food and opportunities for previously incarcerated citizens. www.pghcitypaper.com

Grapperia

One Bordeaux, One Scotch, One Beer

3801 Butler St., Lawrenceville DRINK: Chopped and Brewed INGREDIENTS: Maggie’s Farm spiced rum, elderflower spirit, Aztec chocolate bitters, espresso OUR TAKE: This drink is for those who like a bitter drink with just a touch of sweetness and cream (here, crema on the espresso). It’s a coffee-drinker’s dream, with caramel notes on the nose and nutty flavors throughout.

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Elena Walch Pinot Grigio 2015 $16.99/750ml “Everything [Elena Walch] does is basically completely natural. I tell customers, ‘This is the best pinot grigio you’re ever going to have. If it isn’t then I’ll buy your glass of wine.’ To this day, I’ve never had to buy a glass.” e R E C O MME NDE D B Y AL L AN U C H R INSC KO, SO MME L IE R AND ASSIS TA N T G E N E RA L M A N AG E R OF VA L L OZ Z I ’ S

Elena Walch Pinot Grigio 2015 is available at select Fine Wines & Good Spirits stores.

THE CIRCLE IS UNDONE BY ITS FAILURE TO KNOW WHAT IT WANTS TO SAY

PRIZE WINNERS FROM RUSSIA {BY AL HOFF} Another sure sign of spring is the annual Russian Film Symposium, now in its 19th year. This year’s theme is Kino-Ivory, referring to the White Elephant awards. For the last quarter-century, these awards have been conferred on worthy Russian films by the Guild of Film Scholars and Film Critics of the Russian Union of Filmmakers. Given the time span, this group of films thus provides a chronicle of Russian cinema since the collapse of the Soviet Union and the significant changes that occurred to how films are produced and distributed.

Leviathan Selected works screen through Sat., May 6: four during the day on the University of Pittsburgh campus (Cathedral of Learning Room 232), and four nighttime screenings at Melwood Screening Room, in Oakland. The films are in Russian, with English subtitles, and will be introduced by a slate of guest speakers, including academics, critics and a former president of the Guild of Film Scholars. For a complete schedule of films and events, see www.rusfilm.pitt.edu. The following films screen at Melwood: The Duelist. In 19th-century imperialist Russia, a former army officer makes a living settling duels for aristocrats. Aleksei Mizgirev directs this lavishly produced 2016 drama. 7:30 p.m. Wed., May 3. Leviathan. In this 2014 drama set in a rundown fishing town on the Barents Sea, a mechanic fights against an eminent domain order for his property, and by extension, the endemic corruption of the prevailing institutions. Andrei Zviagintsev directs this Oscar-nominated film. 7:30 p.m. Thu., May 4. The Student. In Kirill Serebrennikov’s 2016 drama, a Russian high school student becomes increasingly convinced that the contemporary world is off its moral axis. 7:30 p.m. Fri., May 5. Zoology. Life changes for a rather sheltered middle-aged zoo worker … after she grows a tail. Ivan I. Tverdovskii directs this 2016 drama. 7:30 p.m. Sat., May 6.

Something is not right at The Circle: John Boyega and Emma Watson

OUT OF THE LOOP {BY AL HOFF}

AE (Emma Watson) has a shitty job, a shitty car and lives in a forlorn corner of California, with her parents (Glenne Headly, Bill Paxton). It seems like a straight line to nowhere, until her buddy Annie (Karen Gillan) gets her a hook-up at the social-media company The Circle. It’s the sort of high-paying tech-workers’ paradise that is literally a walled garden of dog yoga, free meals and Friday-night Beck concerts. What could possibly go wrong? James Ponsoldt’s wannabe thriller The Circle is adapted from Dave Eggers’ novel, and it’s a toothless stroll through what could have been a more biting or terrifying tale. But alas, the film seems more interested in set-up then any sort of thoughtful, or even logical, conclusion. So for the first half, we get the starryeyed trip to Silicon Valley, where The Circle hums along in a circular building (not unlike Apple’s new campus). Mae aces a ridiculously hip interview (in a circular office, natch) with rapid-fire questions like: “Introspec-

tion or communications?” “Ever own a Velcro wallet?” “Sushi or soylent?” (Mae quickly afﬁrms “sushi,” but I feel that “soylent” is the better answer: Everybody says sushi.) The deﬁning ethos at The Circle is to take “the chaos of the web and make it elegant and simple.” (Good luck with that, Circlers.) But it’s just tech babble for a company that wants to trade the fun and convenience

THE CIRCLE DIRECTED BY: James Ponsoldt STARRING: Emma Watson, Tom Hanks, Karen Gillan

of social media for knowing absolutely everything about its consumers, and then, ideally, to mandate and control behavior. Because “sharing is caring.” The company hosts Dream Fridays lectures, in which the laidback CEO, Bailey (Tom Hanks), rolls out the nonsense, like how secretly putting marble-sized cameras everywhere is all about human-rights accountability. (Later, it’s a throwaway gag

that one of these is in the ladies room.) But Mae falls under Bailey’s spell, and in time-honored tradition, she sells her soul to a 24/7 web-cam deal to make the whole world feel closer; it’s really creepy, and nobody seems to care or question it. The story isn’t helped by Watson, who gives a weird performance as Mae, who forever looks like she is deeply unsure about everything, while instantly capitulating to the most intrusive and problematic new schemes. In fact, The Circle is utterly undone by its failure to know what it wants to say, and to commit to a strategy. At times, it ﬂirts with satire, then it turns as maudlin as a TV movie. It walks right past the remarkably lowhanging fruit of the perils of social media, and of what, if any, ethical quandaries all this non-stop interconnection is creating. Ideally, the ﬁlm should have failed in an entertaining way — #mustseetrainwreck — but it’s a parable of obviousness without much point. Like the heralded circle, viewers should end up right back where they started.

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p.m. Wed., May 3, and 5:15 p.m. Thu., May 4. Row House Cinema

FILM CAPSULES CP

MY ENTIRE HIGH SCHOOL SINKING INTO THE SEA. Dash Shaw writes and directs this animated dark comedy about a high school which, after an earthquake, floats out to sea. Lena Dunham, Alex Karpovsky, Maya Rudolph and Jason Schwartzman are among those who supply voices. 5:15 p.m. Wed., May 3, and 7:30 p.m. Thu., May 4. Row House Cinema

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NEW THE DINNER. The gathering of dysfunctional family members at an event, during which some terrible secret is revealed and everything goes to shit, is a narrative set-up that tops my list of guilty-pleasure novels and films. So I couldn’t help but enjoy Oren Moverman’s drama, though a more cold-eyed assessor might quibble about soapiness or its rather stagey nature. It’s a film that opens with close-ups of exquisitely prepared food — the main act occurs at a pretentious restaurant, in which two couples meet for dinner. There’s married couple Claire (Laura Linney) and Paul (Steve Coogan), plus Paul’s politician brother, Stan (Richard Gere), and his wife, Kate (Rebecca Hall). The focus of the get-together is to hash over something their teenage children did, but this meal comes at the end of decades of troubles and ill feelings, as well as a tricky new beginning (Stan is running for higher office). The evening unfolds from appetizer to aperitif, with flashbacks slowly revealing all the details. It’s a lot of juicy emotional damage being slung around by four actors quite adept at being entertainingly passive-aggressive. Unfortunately, the teenagers, whose careless act forms the catalyst of the drama, remain largely ciphers, and makes this important part of the story feel more contrived. But there are smaller, richer nuggets to mine regarding marriage, parenting and illness. The nonlin-

MEAN GIRLS. Cady (Lindsay Lohan), a blank slate of a high school junior, is about to learn the hard way about adolescent pecking order and the positively feral behavior between teen-age girls, in Mark Waters’ sharp 2004 comedy. 7 p.m. Wed., May 3, and 3:10 and 9:15 p.m. Thu., May 4. Row House Cinema THE SANDLOT. A new kid finds some friends on a baseball team, in this 1993 coming-of-age film, set in 1962. David M. Evans directs. 7:30 p.m. Wed., May 3. AMC Loews Waterfront. $5 NOTORIOUS. This top-notch A-list 1943 thriller-romance from Alfred Hitchcock finds Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant sparring as lovers and secret agents, while discreetly infiltrating Nazi collaborators in South America. May 5-10. Row House Cinema

A Quiet Passion ear structure is a bit of a jumble, and The Dinner is about 15 minutes too long. But if you like these sorts of melodramas about how awful upper-middleclass people really can be when facing challenges, book a seat. Starts Fri., May 5. Harris (Al Hoff) GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL. 2. The space adventures continue for pilot Peter Quill (Chris

Pratt) and his gang of goofy sidekicks, including a talking raccoon and a baby tree. James Gunn directs this comic actioner adapted from the Marvel comics. In 3-D, in select theaters. Starts Fri., May 5 A QUIET PASSION. It’s fun to imagine how the great American poet Emily Dickinson (1830-1886) would have processed a film about her largely solitary life, and her portrayal by one of the stars of cheerfully raunchy Sex in the City. But we can see for ourselves, in Terence Davies’ (House of Mirth) handsome bio-pic, in which Cynthia Nixon portrays the often-difficult Dickinson with great sympathy. Dickinson lived in Amherst, Mass., often reclusively. Her few companions here include family members and a rather lively friend, with whom she enjoys verbal sparring. She remains unmarried, and writes poetry, some of which is published. As modern viewers, we pity the sensitive and yearning Dickinson her often sad life. Sequestered by societal mores and her own insecurities, she is unable to realize the fullest expression of her talents. (There is never an easy time to be a poet. But to be an upper-middle-class woman in the 1800s was simply to be married off or ignored as a spinster, and never a poet.) The title refers to Dickinson’s emotional passion (however suppressed), but can also take the religious meaning, denoting a time of suffering. And religion, too, is up for frequent debate in Dickinson’s life, as she struggles with incorporating her own desire for a fulfilling spirituality within the rigid structures of the organized church. Davies’ film is a lyrical work, and literally full of poetry. It should please those who can appreciate an introspective and meditative biography of someone who rarely left her house. It is true parlor intrigue — a room where perhaps a quarter of the film takes place — in which the wickedest things are the barbed epigrams, and the dramas are life’s familiar woes: the death of a parent, the loss of a friend, an unresolved illness. A must-see for fans of Dickinson and 19th-century arts and letters. Starts Fri., May 5. Manor (AH)

REPERTORY SCREAM. Wes Craven’s 1996 horror film had its tongue firmly in cheek, riffing on the conventions of slasher films, while still sticking the knife in the back of its unsuspecting teen victims. 2:55 and 9:10

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THE LADY VANISHES. In Alfred Hitchcock’s 1939 light comedy-thriller, a young woman on board a trans-European train is baffled when her carriage companion, a sweet old lady, simply disappears. May 5-10. Row House Cinema VERTIGO. James Stewart loses his grip when he becomes obsessed with a beautiful blonde (Kim Novak) in Alfred Hitchcock’s 1958 thriller. Conflating sexual desire, memory and deception, Vertigo, shot in glorious color in the San Francisco Bay area, is regarded as one of Hitchcock’s finest works. May 5-10. Row House Cinema MARNIE. Alfred Hitchcock’s 1964 thriller about a thief named Marnie (Tippi Hedren), who has some serious psycho-sexual issues, and the man (Sean Connery) who pursues her. Less seen than Vertigo, but similarly weird vis-à-vis memory and mental health. May 5-10. Row House Cinema BOB ROBERTS. This eerily prescient 1992 satire from Tim Robbins features a folk singer/politician who may or may not be exploiting populism and telling outrageous lies. The mockumentary stars Robbins as Bob Roberts, as well as Giancarlo Esposito, Alan Rickman and a few Pittsburghers, like Tom Atkins. (Some of the film was shot locally.) A May 6 screening is part of a fundraising celebration of the Hollywood Theater’s 91st year. The celebration, hosted by Braddock Mayor John Fetterman and his wife, Giselle Fetterman, also features a raffle with more than 50 prizes, food catered by Kevin Sousa, and nonalcoholic beverages, and a cash bar. 7 p.m. (film at 8:30 p.m.) Sat., May 6. Hollywood. $30 FRIED GREEN TOMATOES. Jon Avnet directs this 1991 adaptation of the popular Fannie Flagg novel about an unhappy housewife who finds a sympathetic ear with an elderly woman in a nursing home. Kathy Bates, Jessica Tandy, Mary Stuart Masterson and Mary-Louise Parker star. 7:30 p.m. Wed., May 10. AMC Loews Waterfront. $5 FOUND FOOTAGE FESTIVAL. This touring program, hosted by Nick Prueher and Joe Pickett, brings the hilarity of found video, rescued from thrift stores, basement and who knows where. This year’s brand-new program includes: a star-studded Desert Storm parade sponsored by Taco Bell; on-air bloopers from more than a decade’s worth of North Dakota local news; and a collection of satanic-panic videos from the 1980s, including “The Law Enforcement Guide to Satanic Cults.” 8 p.m. Thu., May 11. Regent Square. $12

HISTORY LESSONS

“THE MORE THAT PEOPLE SEE BIKERS OUT IN THE STREET, THE MORE PEOPLE WILL WANT TO RIDE.”

This week in Pittsburgh Sports History {BY CITY PAPER STAFF} A look back at events that you’ve either forgotten about or never heard of in the first place. MAY 4, 2000, and MAY 4, 2009 Two noteworthy events happened on this date in the world of Pittsburgh Penguins hockey. In 2000, the Philadelphia Flyers tied their playoff series with the Pens at 2-2 after a seven-hour, five-overtime game at Mellon Arena. It was the longest game in Penguins history and the third longest in NHL history. Then, in 2009, Penguins captain Sidney Crosby and Washington Capitals captain Alex Ovechkin each scored a hat trick, the first for both in the playoffs. The Caps would get the win. MAY 5, 1956 An amateur soccer team, the Harmarville Hurricanes, won the Lamar Hunt U.S. Open Cup, the longest-running national soccer tournament in the world. The Hurricanes had also won the cup in 1952. MAY 5, 1972 Legendary Pittsburgh Pirates pitcher Dock Ellis is maced by a security guard as he tries to enter Cincinnati’s Riverfront Stadium. He and two teammates, including Willie Stargell, missed the bus to the stadium. When they arrived and the security guard asked for identification, Ellis flashed his 1971 World Series ring. The guard then maced the Buccos hurler, who later famously admitted to having pitched a 1970 no-hitter while high on LSD. MAY 6, 1887 Everyone knows the significant contributions that Pittsburgh made to Negro-league baseball, but the city was making history long before that. On this day, the National Colored Baseball League held its first game, a contest between the Pittsburgh Keystones and the New York Gorhams. New York won 11-8 and the league folded a few weeks later. And in Brief: MAY 7, 1922: The Pirates’ Walt Mueller became the first Major League player in history to hit a home run off the first pitch of his first at-bat. MAY 8, 1973: Willie Stargell crushes a home run out of Dodgers Stadium for the second time in his career. MAY 9, 1992: The Penguins’ Ron Francis scores the first hat trick of his Penguins career in a playoff game against the New York Rangers. MAY 10, 1953: Pirates Johnny and Eddie O’Brien become the first set of twins to play on the same team in a Major League game.

{CP PHOTO BY RENEE ROSENSTEEL}

Riding Instructor: Scott Kowalski

FIELD TRIP {BY RYAN DETO}

N APRIL 21, City Paper reported

about a video showing Pittsburgh City Councilor and mayoral candidate Darlene Harris getting into a verbal altercation with a cyclist. In a city where such encounters are part of cycling culture, it might be hard to convince anyone to ride a bike on Pittsburgh streets, but Scott Kowalski is determined. He’s been hosting informal group rides during warmweather months for the last couple years, and this year, he’s giving his Steel City Roll rides an ofﬁcial schedule. “I want people to feel more comfortable with riding in the city,” says Kowalski. “It is a great way to get around Pittsburgh, and the more that people see bikers out in the street, the more people will want to ride.” On the ﬁrst Monday of each month from May to October, riders can meet Kowalski at Market Square, Downtown,

just before 7 p.m. Rides are free and trek to different neighborhoods, including the North Side, South Side and Squirrel Hill. Kowalski, who is also president of FreeRide Pittsburgh, a bicycle co-op in Point Breeze, says rides are 8 to 10 miles in length and tend to end at destinations where the group can socialize, like a bar or coffee shop. He says cyclists who are intimidated by riding in traffic usually ride next to him, and he offers tips and direction so that everyone is safe. “If I can give one person the confidence to ride by themselves or ride to the grocery store, that is why I do it,” says Kowalski. The rides aren’t really harrowing, either. Kowalski says routes early in the season are mostly flat and take advantage of the city’s protected bike infrastructure and trails as much as possible. Either way, he says new riders would be surprised at

how far they can ride. “Your body is capable of more than your mind thinks it is,” says Kowalski. “You might be out of breath, but so am I, and it mostly matters how quickly you recover. … Cardio is good for you, period.” Kowalski recognizes that some city cyclists don’t adhere to all the rules of the road, and he wants Steel City Ride to help educate riders to not only be safe, but also to follow state laws. “There is a war between cyclists, pedestrians and cars,” says Kowalski. “But if I can create a safe ride with Steel City Roll, then I can give people confidence that there is a safe way to ride, and I get excited about that.” RYA N D E TO@ P G H C I T Y PA P E R. C OM

For more information: www.tinyurl.com/ steelcityroll.

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[THE CHEAP SEATS]

OUTSTANDING IN THEIR FIELD {BY MIKE WYSOCKI} WE’RE IN THE home stretch of naming the best Pirates players of the past 50 years. This is the first of three installments ranking the club’s strongest collection of players — outfielders. Obviously, Roberto Clemente is the best. With all due deference to Paul “Big Poison” Waner and Ralph Kiner, The Great One is one of the top 10 players in the history of the game. He’s a publicly beatified legend and the greatest Pirates outfielder of all time. So, this list begins in 1973, the first year after Clemente. That means Willie Stargell and Al Oliver won’t be ranked as high as they would be if it included their entire careers. Both still make the top 10, however, even though we’re considering only a portion of their impressive numbers. But no more spoilers. After exhaustive research and an expanded list of statistics, we’ve got a top 30, and we’re starting with a guy who did a lot in his five years with some pretty bad teams. 30. Tike Redman hit .330 and .288 in consecutive years and stole 33 bases as a Pirate. Among all outfielders, Redman was the fifth-best defensively and had a higher batting average than Barry Bonds. 29. Lee Mazzilli was as popular with the ladies in the 1970s and 1980s as Ponch was on CHiPS. A star with the Mets, Mazzilli was solid, but is best known for testifying before a grand jury (he and other players were granted immunity) in what has become known as the Pittsburgh Drug Trials, which involved several Pirates players. 28. Lloyd McClendon led a great baseball life. “Legendary Lloyd” was his nickname at age 12 after homering in five consecutive at-bats with five swings in the 1971 Little League World Series. McClendon played on good clubs in the early 1990s, and after the 2000 baseball season, McClendon was hired to manage the Bucs. He never led the team to a winning season, but the occasionally hottempered McClendon was fun to watch. 27. Poor Joe Orsulak was one of those guys who had a long pro career, but never once saw a pitch in the playoffs. Orsulak hit .272 in four seasons here. Fun fact, unless you’re Joe Orsulak: In 14 major-league seasons, he made the same amount of money that Josh Harrison is making this year alone. 26. Gregory Polanco, El Coffee, has been more decaf than we had hoped. So far, he’s hit .252 with some power (38 homers) and

{CP FILE PHOTO}

Gregory Polanco

some speed (63 steals), but he’s still only 25 years old and has been good enough to make this list. 25. John Milner was 3-for-9 in the 1979 World Series and hit 16 regular-season home runs as the team’s best clutch pinchhitter. Milner was another fixture of the drug trials and actually testified against dealer and chef Curtis Strong. 24. In 2004, Rob Mackowiak hit a gamewinning grand slam that made Pirates announcer Greg Brown so excited he might have had a mild heart attack. Mack’s big blast came on the same day that his son was born. Unfortunately for that kid, I’m sure that’s all he’ll ever hear about on his birthday for the rest of his life. Mackowiak hit 57 homers and stole 40 bases as a Bucco. 23. R.J. Reynolds was Dave Clark with more speed. R.J. stole 109 bases in his six part-time seasons here and added depth to a good team. In 1990, he hit .288 and was 31 years old; the next season, nobody in the majors signed him. Washed up at 31, Reynolds went on to play three years in Japan, where he was much more popular. 22. Dave Clark spent his life in the shadows of giants. When you Google his name, you have to put in the word “baseball” or just get results about a famous singer. When he got to Pittsburgh as an outfielder, Barry Bonds, Andy Van Slyke and Bobby Bonilla all had pretty good job security. 21. We remember Nate McLouth as the sacrificial lamb who had to be slaughtered to make way for Andrew McCutchen, the phenom from Fort Meade, Fla. McLouth just missed the top 20, but was an All-Star and won a Gold Glove during his stay. Also, in the entire 140-year history of baseball, fewer than 250 players have hit 100 home runs and stolen 100 bases, and Nate is in that club. You have to respect that.

MIK E WYSO C K I IS A STANDU P C O ME DIAN. F O L L OW H I M ON T W I T T E R: @ I T S M I K E W YS OC K I

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WANTED! 36 PEOPLE

Rehearsal Space

Seeking bids from qualified food firms to provide food service to our daycare. Please send pricing for breakfast, lunch and a pm snack. All food must meet USDA guideline for the child and adult food program. Please mail bids to Tiny Tots Academy,10485 Frankstown Rd. Penn Hills, PA 15235

to Lose Weight. 30-day money back guarantee. Herbal Program. Also opportunity to earn up to $1,000 monthly. 1-800-492-4437 www.myherbalife.com

starting @ $150/mo. Many sizes available, no sec deposit, play @ the original and largest practice facility, 24/7 access.

HELP WANTED

UNIQUE SPACES

Linen Rental Fulfillment

Classrooms (650 square feet) for rent in old school for crafts, art, offices. Start your (ad)venture! free off-street parking, wifi, all utilities included $400/month. Free large rehearsal space if you rent. Located near Pittsburgh Mills. Text or call 724-230-6010

• M-F 9-5 some weekend work req’d • Assemble Orders • Inventory Soiled Linens • Shelve Clean linens • Pack & Unpack Boxes • Must be able to lift 30+ lbs • Must be detail oriented Email resume info@ partymosaic.com $11/hour

412-403-6069

HELP WANTED FINANCIAL ANALYST, CONSOLIDATIONS

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THE BOARD OF PUBLIC EDUCATION OF THE SCHOOL DISTRICT OF PITTSBURGH

PPG Industries, Inc. seeks Financial Analyst, Consolidations to work in Pittsburgh, PA & to assist w/monthly corp. consolidation & data flows; provide accounting advice for various intracompany & intercompany transactions. Must have bachelor’s or foreign equiv. in Finance, Accounting, or Mgmt Info Sys (MIS) + 5 yrs of postbacc., prgrssvly rspnsbl exp. in rltd position. Alt. req’t: Master’s or foreign equiv. in Finance, Accounting, or Mgmt Info Sys (MIS) + 3 yrs of exp. in rltd position. Exp. must incl: Hyperion Financial Mgmt & FDM apps; Hyperion Finance Reporting Studio; 3 yrs w/corp. global financial reporting incl. annual report & Form 10-K prep process; 3 yrs w/U.S. accounting standards rltng to equity method invstmnts, accounting for non-cntrllng interests, foreign currency reporting req’ts & consolidations; & wrkng in global org. Must be flexible & available for evening/ early morning phone calls & wrkng as needed to meet deadlines/complete projects. Send resumes to: PPG Industries, Inc., Corp. Human Resources Dept, Attn: MPHR36N-400, One PPG Place, 36th Fl., Pittsburgh, PA 15272.

Sealed proposals shall be deposited at the Administration Building, Room 251, 341 South Bellefield Avenue, Pittsburgh, Pa., 15213, on May 16, 2017, until 2:00 P.M., local prevailing time for the following:

Pittsburgh Obama 6-12 Science Labs & ADA Restroom Renovations Plumbing Construction Prime Contract - REBID Pittsburgh Liberty K-5 ADA Stage Lift General Construction Prime Contract - REBID Project Manual and Drawings are available for purchase on May 1, 2017 at Modern Reproductions (412-488-7700), 127 McKean Street, Pittsburgh, Pa., 15219 between 9:00 A.M. and 4:00 P.M. The cost of the Project Manual Documents is non-refundable. Project details and dates are described in each project manual. We are an equal rights and opportunity school district. Parent Hotline: 412-622-7920 www.pps.k12.pa.us

Job Fair - Come work with us! ASSISTANT COACH, WOMEN’S BASKETBALL Robert Morris University has an opening in Moon Township, PA for an Assistant Coach, Women’s Basketball. Assist the Head Coach in the development of a successful program, including the development of high quality student athletes. Bachelor or equiv + 3 yrs exp. Send resumes to Robert Morris University, Attn: Lisa Sauer, 6001 University Blvd, Moon Township, PA 15108. Must ref job title & code: ACWB-AM.

NEWS

Pittsburgh Local 6 International Union of Elevator Constructors will be accepting applications from May 12, 2017 thru May 26, 2017. Application MUST BE COMPLETED ON-LINE by visiting www.neiep. org/careers or for more information contact: ocowan@neiep.org

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Familylinks is hiring direct care Teacher/ Counselors at our residential facilities in Plum, Verona, Uptown, McKeesport and Wilkinsburg. Opportunities include working with males and females between the ages of 12 and 21 years old with a mental health diagnosis. Hourly rates from $10.20 to $15.00 per hour based on location, having a degree and experience. Applicants must be 21 years old, have a valid driver’s license and access to transportation to and from the job site. A bachelor’s degree is preferred. Act 33, 34 and FBI clearances are required upon hire and applicants will be required to have a pre-employment drug screen and physical exam. If you’re looking for an opportunity at a nonprofit that helps families across western Pennsylvania, Familylinks is the place for you! +

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WHEN: Friday May 12, 2017 9a.m. to 5p.m. WHERE: 401 North Highland Avenue, Pittsburgh, PA 15206

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FOR MORE INFORMATION: Call 412-661-9750

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Xin Sui Bodyworks

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PUBLIC NOTICE CITIZEN POLICE REVIEW BOARD City of Pittsburgh Pursuant to the Pittsburgh City Code Title Six, Article VI, 662.04 (e) (1), Dr. Emma Lucas-Darby, Chair, announces that the following terms will expire on October 31, 2017: 1. Seat #2 (City Council appointment & Law Enforcement Professional): Ms. Karen McLellan was appointed 1/29/2013 to complete the term vacated by Ms. Deborah L. Walker. 2. Seat #4 (City Council appointment): Dr. Mary Jo Guercio was appointed on 1/26/16 to complete the term vacated by Mr. Paul Homick. 3. Seat #5 (Mayoral appointment): Sr. Patrice Hughes was appointed on 7/26/16 to complete the term vacated by Ms. Leshonda Roberts. Any City resident interested in serving a four-year term on the Independent Citizen Police Review Board should inform their City Council representative for designated City Council seats and the Mayor for designated mayoral seats. For additional information please call the CPRB.

412-765-8023 Emma Lucas-Darby, PhD, Chair Elizabeth C. Pittinger, Executive Director

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER

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ACROSS 1. ___ Defense (chess opening named after an Eastern European) 5. Charge, as with feeling 10. Give someone the business 14. Desert whose name means “semidesert” 15. They turn on radios 16. Case with buttons 17. Long trip 18. Diplomat in NYC, perhaps 19. Skier Lindsey 20. Start of a quip by comic Mike Birbiglia 23. “Penguin” 24. Originally went by 25. Quip, part 2 34. Chapters in social studies 35. “E.R.” venue 36. Area near Greenwich Village 37. Geometry symbols 38. Phil Collins’ group 42. Handsome ___ (Yale’s mascot) 43. Quip, part 3 46. Google service 47. Beaut 48. Berets top them 49. Quip, part 4 52. Start of the Julian calendar 53. End of the quip 56. 35th anniversary gift 59. “Daily Kos” or

“The Daily Beast” 60. 39-Down crafts 64. Athlete who has paintings of himself as a centaur hanging over his bed 65. Butter ___ (ice cream) 66. With 10-Down, some Rotten Tomatoes write-ups 67. Word on a seasonal card 68. “I can answer anything!” 69. Way out

DOWN 1. Snorkel in “Beetle Bailey,” e.g. 2. Actress Petty 3. Still sleeping 4. “The purple and gold” 5. [shrug] 6. Condition at a baseball card show 7. Comic who coined the term “domestic goddess” 8. “Gold” Fonda role 9. “Pan’s Labyrinth” setting 10. See 66-Across 11. Full complement 12. Old Microsoft MP3 player 13. Red wine 21. Rock’s The Chainsmokers, e.g. 22. “___ Troyens” (Berlioz opera)

25. Swinger 26. Buck Showalter’s team 27. Didn’t go unfulfilled 28. Sup 29. Hit man 30. Chicken 31. Treat, as salt 32. Muse of comedy 33. Cajoled with sweet talk: Var. 38. Bold 39. 60-Across figures 40. Sponge alternative 41. Elitist snob 44. Tomorrow’s doctors today 45. Monk’s haircut

49. Happy Meal puzzles 50. Padres shortstop ___ Aybar 51. Starting time of some 5Ks 54. “Push It” rapper 55. Gray-brown goose 56. Orange snack food 57. Robot part 58. Latecomer to 35-Across 61. Communication for the technologically illiterate 62. Egg head? 63. Game with squiggles {LAST WEEK’S ANSWERS}

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FOR THE WEEK OF

Free Will Astrology

05.03-05.10

{BY ROB BREZSNY}

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): When poet Wislawa Szymborska delivered her speech accepting the Nobel Prize, she said that “whatever else we might think of this world — it is astonishing.” She added that for a poet, there really is no such thing as the “ordinary world,” “ordinary life” and “the ordinary course of events.” In fact, “Nothing is usual or normal. Not a single stone and not a single cloud above it. Not a single day and not a single night after it. And above all, not a single existence, not anyone’s existence in this world.” I offer you her thoughts, Taurus, because I believe that in the next two weeks you will have an extraordinary potential to feel and act on these truths. You are hereby granted a license to be astonished on a regular basis.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Would you consider enrolling in my Self-Pity Seminar? If so, you would learn that obsessing on self-pity is a means to an end, not a morass to get lost in. You would feel sorry for yourself for brief, intense periods so that you could feel proud and brave the rest of the time. For a given period — let’s say three days — you would indulge and indulge and indulge in self-pity until you entirely exhausted that emotion. Then you’d be free to engage in an orgy of selfhealing, self-nurturing and self-celebration. Ready to get started? Ruminate about the ways that people don’t fully appreciate you.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): In a typical conversation, most of us utter too many “uhs,” “likes,” “I means” and “you knows.” I mean, I’m sure that … uh … you’ll agree that, like, what’s the purpose of, you know, all that pointless noise? But I have some good news to deliver about your personal use of language in the coming weeks, Cancerian. According to my

reading of the astrological omens, you’ll have the potential to dramatically lower your reliance on needless filler. But wait, there’s more: Clear thinking and precise speech just might be your superpowers. As a result, your powers of persuasion should intensify. Your ability to advocate for your favorite causes may zoom.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): In 1668, England named John Dryden its first Poet Laureate. His literary influence was so monumental that the era in which he published was known as the Age of Dryden. Twentieth-century poetry great T.S. Eliot said he was “the ancestor of nearly all that is best in the poetry of the 18th century.” Curiously, Dryden had a low opinion of Shakespeare. “Scarcely intelligible,” he called the Bard, adding, “His whole style is so pestered with figurative expressions that it is as affected as it is coarse.” I foresee a comparable clash of titans in your sphere, Leo. Two major influences may fight it out for supremacy. One embodiment of beauty may be in competition with another. One

get your yoga on!

powerful and persuasive force could oppose another. What will your role be? Mediator? Judge? Neutral observer? Whatever it is, be cagey.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Just this once, and for a limited time only, you have cosmic clearance to load up on sugary treats, leave an empty beer can in the woods, watch stupid TV shows and act uncool in front of the Beautiful People. Why? Because being totally well behaved and perfectly composed and strictly pure would compromise your mental health more than being naughty. Besides, if you want to figure out what you are on the road to becoming, you will need to know more about what you’re not.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In addition to fashion tips, advice for the broken-hearted, midlife-crisis support and career counseling, I sometimes provide you with more mystical help. Like now. So if you need nuts-andbolts guidance, I hope you’ll have the sense to read a more down-to-earth horoscope. What I want to tell you is that the metaphor of resurrection is your featured theme. You should assume that it’s somehow the answer to every question. Rejoice in the knowledge that although a part of you has died, it will be reborn in a fresh guise.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21):

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER

05.03/05.10.2017

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The versatile artist Melvin Van Peebles has enjoyed working as a filmmaker, screenwriter, actor, composer and novelist. One of his more recent efforts was a collaboration with the experimental band The Heliocentrics. Together they created a science-fiction-themed spokenword poetry album titled The Last Transmission. Peebles told NPR, “I haven’t had so much fun with clothes on in years.” If I’m reading the planetary omens correctly Capricorn, you’re either experiencing that level of fun, or will soon be doing so.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): In what ways do you most resemble your mother? Now is a good time to take inventory. Once you identify any mom-like qualities that tend to limit your freedom or lead you away from your dreams, devise a plan to transform them. You may never be able to defuse them entirely, but there’s a lot you can do to minimize the mischief they cause. Be calm but calculating in setting your intention, Aquarius! P.S. In the course of your inventory, you may also find there are ways you are like your mother that are of great value to you. Is there anything you could do to more fully develop their potential?

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20):

“Are you ready for the genie’s favors? Don’t rub the magic lamp unless you are.” That’s the message I saw on an Instagram meme. I immediately thought of you. The truth is that up until recently, you have not been fully prepared for the useful but demanding gifts the genie could offer you. You haven’t had the self-mastery necessary to use the gifts as they’re meant to be used, and therefore they were a bit dangerous to you. But that situation has changed. Although you may still not be fully primed, you’re as ready as you can be. That’s why I say: RUB THE MAGIC LAMP!

“We are what we imagine,” writes Piscean author N. Scott Momaday. “Our very existence consists in our imagination of ourselves. Our best destiny is to imagine who and what we are. The greatest tragedy that can befall us is to go unimagined.” Let’s make this passage your inspirational keynote for the coming weeks. It’s a perfect time to realize how much power you have to create yourself through the intelligent and purposeful use of your vivid imagination. (P.S. Here’s a further tip, this time from Cher: “All of us invent ourselves. Some of us just have more imagination than others.”)

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21):

ARIES (March 21-April 19):

You may have heard the exhortation “Follow your bliss!,” which was popularized by mythologist Joseph Campbell. After studying the archetypal stories of many cultures throughout history, he concluded that it was the most important principle driving the success of most heroes. Here’s another way to say it: Identify the job or activity that deeply excites you, and find a way to make it the center of your life. In his later years, Campbell worried that too many people had misinterpreted “Follow your bliss” to mean “Do what comes easily.” That’s all wrong, he said. Anything worth doing takes work and struggle. “Maybe I should have said, ‘Follow your blisters,’” he laughed. I bring this up, Sagittarius, because you are now in an intense “Follow your blisters” phase of following your bliss.

Beware of feeling sorry for sharks that yell for help. Beware of trusting coyotes that act like sheep, and sheep that act like coyotes. Beware of nibbling food from jars whose contents are different from what their labels suggest. But wait! “Beware” is not my only message for you. I have these additional announcements: Welcome interlopers if they’re humble and look you in the eyes. Learn all you can from predators and pretenders without imitating them. Take advantage of any change that’s set in motion by agitators who shake up the status quo, even if you don’t like them. Which of your dead ancestors would you most like to talk to? Imagine a conversation with one of them.

GO TO REALASTROLOGY.COM TO CHECK OUT ROB BREZSNY’S EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES AND DAILY TEXT-MESSAGE HOROSCOPES. THE AUDIO HOROSCOPES ARE ALSO AVAILABLE BY PHONE AT 1-877-873-4888 OR 1-900-950-7700

Savage Love {BY DAN SAVAGE}

Nancy, the tech-savvy at-risk youth, two gimps, Christ on the cross, the Easter Bunny, two weeping women, and the Easter Bunny’s smoking-hot leather master took to the stage at Revolution Hall in Portland, Ore., for a live taping of the Savage Lovecast on Easter weekend. Audience members submitted their questions on cards (I take my questions like some of you take your men: anonymously) — but with Rachel Lark and the Damaged Goods and comedian Nariko Ott on the program as well, we didn’t get to many questions. So I’m going to answer as many of Portland’s questions as I can in this week’s column. We’ve been sleeping with another couple for three months (first time my BF and I opened our relationship). How do I suggest full penetration with the opposite partner? At this point, we just do oral and that’s the “groove” we’re in. Only-oral-with-others may be this couple’s preferred groove and the lane they want to stay in. If they’re only up for the “soft swap,” as it’s known in swinging circles, penetration isn’t gonna happen. But you should feel free to ask for what you want — at the very least, you’ll get some long-overdue clarity about their boundaries. Is squirting pee? We know that chemically it’s similar, but is it REALLY? I’m tired of this debate, so consider this my final answer: So what if it is pee?

Play around in theory for now — lots of dirty talk — and put theory into practice after your kid is a toddler and you’ve landed a reliable babysitter. Will you plug stoptrumpswall.org? Why not? Does the toe make a good substitute for the penis? No. I have large breasts. My partners are either like, “YAY BOOOOBS!” or they ignore my breasts entirely. What is it with that? How do I get people to interact with my breasts like they’re another nice body part and not a bizarre thing? By using your words. If there was a way you didn’t like to be kissed, presumably you would speak up rather than endure lousy kisses. Same applies here: “I have big boobs, and they’re great, and I love them — but ‘YAY BOOOOBS!’ makes me feel like I’m only my tits, which isn’t a nice feeling. That said, I don’t want my boobs ignored, either. The sweet spot really isn’t that hard to hit — enjoy my boobs like you would any other nice body part.” That said, some people really, really like big boobs, and it’s going to be hard for them to contain their excitement. “YAY BOOOOBS” could be an understandable and forgivable first reaction on their part, and an opening that allows you to have a conversation about bodies, consideration and consent.

My girlfriend asked me to make out with another guy. Her fantasy. We met a really pretty gay boy at a house party a year ago, and so I made out with him. I got hard, and my girlfriend made a huge scene. She says it was supposed to be for her pleasure, not for mine, and she’s still angry six months later and constantly questions whether I’m really straight. (I am!) What do I tell her? Good-bye.

My girlfriend wants to try fisting, but my hands are really large. Any ideas for how to get around that? A hired hand.

When do you know if it’s OK to insert your finger in your boyfriend’s butthole? Without fear of freaking him out? After you’ve applied lube to your finger and his butthole — which you’re allowed to do only after you’ve asked him if you can insert your finger in his butthole and after he’s consented to having your finger in his butthole.

My boyfriend is 10 years older than me. Also, he’s the first boyfriend I’ve had in 10 years. I’m used to being single — and while he is great (sexy, amazing, smart), I feel like I’m losing parts of myself. I’m not doing the stuff my prior loneliness made it easy for me to do, creative stuff like open-mic nights. Do we break up? You’re no longer lonely — you’ve got a boyfriend now — but you still need time alone. Even if you live together, you don’t have to spend every waking/non-work hour with your boyfriend — it’s not healthy to spend every waking/non-work hour with your significant other. But instead of heading to open-mic night because you’re lonely and bored and have nothing else to do, now you’re going to go to that openmic night (and go alone) because you enjoy it, you need the creative outlet, and it’s healthy for a couple to have time apart.

I want to try anal, but I am scared of getting poop on my partner. Is an enema enough? Properly administered, an enema should be more than enough. But with anal as with liberal democracy — a good outcome is not guaranteed. Sometimes you do your homework and your prep, and everything still comes to shit. I love my man, but we’re both tops. What should we do? Spit-roast very special guest stars if you’re in an open relationship, take turns/one for the team if you’re in a monogamous relationship, explore and enjoy your non-butt-penetrative options. How do we play around with opening up our relationship as parents of a 1-year-old? We barely have enough time or enough sleep to keep our own relationship juicy.

f f o k c i K Pa r t y

Tell my boyfriend to go down on me! If your boyfriend won’t go down on you unless some fag advice columnist tells him to — if his girlfriend asking isn’t good enough — then it’s you I want to order around (break up with him!), not your boyfriend.

SATURDAY, MAY 13th Burger Eating Contest, Live Music, Drink Specials & more!

Social at

Thank you, Dan. Five years ago, I was miserable in a sexless marriage. Tonight I’m here with my fabulous boyfriend and my hot sub. Thanks to your advice! You’re welcome! On the Lovecast, special guest Rachel Bloom from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend: savagelovecast.com.

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SEND YOUR QUESTIONS TO MAIL@SAVAGELOVE.NET AND FIND THE SAVAGE LOVECAST (DAN’S WEEKLY PODCAST) AT SAVAGELOVECAST.COM

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100 DAYS OF TRUMP:

FROM ‘AMERICAN CARNAGE’ TO HARRISBURG {BY AL HOFF} THE TRUMP PRESIDENCY got off to a perfectly calm start with a by-the-book, and even somewhat dull, inauguration. And lots of big things that candidate Donald Trump promised to do on Day One didn’t actually happen. Then, just 24 hours later, millions of people around the world were out in the streets protesting; we went from MAGA caps to pussy hats in just one sleep. Clearly, the tumult of the contentious campaign was going to be the new normal.

available for perusal in handy one-week chunks. Relive the memories — the out-of-the-gate craziness of the ﬁrst three weeks (from “alternative facts” to airport protests); Russia, Russia, Russia; two travel bans; the tweet that derailed everything (“Just found out Obama had my ‘wires tapped’ in Trump Tower”); the repeal-and-replace-and-remain of Obamacare; the wall that wasn’t; and the ongoing pep rallies. Boggle at the Cecil B. DeMille epicness of everything that occurred in Week 9.

And yet, how crazy could it be? Running the government is a sobering and all-consuming business. It’s not a time for pre-dawn tweeting, picking petty ﬁghts and self-promotion, all hallmarks of Trump’s campaign. It’s a job — a big job — and what would it be like when a political neophyte took the helm? Inspired by Paul Slansky’s The Clothes Have No Emperor, a scrapbook-style account of the Reagan years published in 1989, I decided to keep a chronological log of Trump’s ﬁrst 100 days. Perhaps — I naively thought way back in January — a few amusing narratives would present themselves. What resulted was a breathtaking roller-coaster ride through 13 weeks of policy dos, don’ts and re-dos; gaffes and word–salad addresses; controversies and lawsuits; fact-checks and lies; an astonishing number of visits to Trump-branded properties; and tweets. So many tweets. This 14-week timeline is compiled on City Paper’s website,

Or chill for a bit with the relative quiet of Week 13. Apologies in advance if your favorite outrage/victory/ tweet isn’t listed in the chronology: The internet is inﬁnite enough to list everything that happened, but surely our readers’ patience isn’t.

100 DAYS OF TRUMP Read all 14 weeks online at www.pghcitypaper.com History is busy writing and re-writing itself, so it’s too early to tell how fabulous or disastrous these times will prove to be. The times often feel fraught, anxious and depressing, but take heart. Even in these ﬁrst 100 days, there have already been winners: investigative journalism, “rogue” government Twitter accounts, Saturday Night Live and sales of posterboard. AH O F F @ P G HC I T Y PA P E R. C OM

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER

05.03/05.10.2017

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