May 10, 2017 - Pittsburgh City Paper

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EVENTS 5.11 – 8pm SOUND SERIES: SAN FERMIN WITH SPECIAL GUESTS LOW ROAR The Warhol entrance space Co-presented with WYEP 91.3FM Tickets $15/$12 members & students; VIP $65

5.19 – 5-9:30pm FACTORY SWING SHIFT The Factory stays up late! Free with museum admission

5.20 – 10am TEACHER WORKSHOP: ART AND ACTIVISM Presented in conjunction with our collaborative public art project Activist Print. Tickets $30

5.26 – 8pm SOUND SERIES: NIGHTLANDS WITH SPECIAL GUEST THE BUILDING The Warhol theater Tickets $15/$12 members & students

5.27 – 6pm LGBTQ+ YOUTH PROM The Warhol entrance space Tickets $5/$10 door

The Andy Warhol Museum receives state arts funding support through a grant from the Pennsylvania Council on the Arts, a state agency funded by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania; the National Endowment for the Arts, a federal agency and The Heinz Endowments. Further support is provided by the Allegheny Regional Asset District.

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05.10/05.17.2017 VOLUME 27 + ISSUE 19

INVIGORATED.

[EDITORIAL] Editor CHARLIE DEITCH News Editor REBECCA ADDISON Arts & Entertainment Editor BILL O’DRISCOLL Associate Editor AL HOFF Digital Editor ALEX GORDON Staff Writers RYAN DETO, CELINE ROBERTS Music Writer MEG FAIR Interns KRISTA JOHNSON, JORDAN MILLER, MATT PETRAS

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[COVER STORY]

“A judge, a person that is supposed to make a call and fight for justice, told me that I am worth $6.” PAGE 06

If your weight is keeping you down, the experts at UPMC Bariatric Services have so many ways to help you find a healthier, happier you. We offer a comprehensive weight-loss program for men and women that includes everything from behavioral and medical weight loss programs, online diet resources, and new bridge therapy alternatives such as the intragastric balloon. And our team will create a personalized plan to help you meet your goals. So find a new you and visit UPMC.com/Bariatrics, or schedule an appointment near you by calling 1-800-533-UPMC (8762).

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THIS WEEK

“GETTING TOLD I’M WORTH $6? IT CRUSHES ME.”

ONLINE

www.pghcitypaper.com

Pens fans have been gathering outside PPG Paints Arena to watch the Stanley Cup playoffs on the big screen. See more photos at www.pghcitypaper.com.

City Paper hit the streets for the latest edition of Pittsburgh’s Unblurred Gallery Crawl.

Relive the roller-coaster ride: Check out our account of President Donald Trump’s first 100 days in office in the latest installment of CP Longform online at www.pghcitypaper.com.

{CP ILLUSTRATION BY DAVID POHL}

Check out our photos on page 54 and at www.pghcitypaper.com.

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Our featured #CPReaderArt photo from last week comes from the Carnegie Museum of Art by @lewisatlarge. Use #CPReaderArt to share your local photos with us for your chance to be featured next!

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AST WEEK, City Paper reported in its

online edition about an Allegheny County senior judge who initially planned to fine a defendant $6 — $1 for each time the offender touched his then15-year-old victim. Allegheny County Common Pleas Court Senior Judge Lester Nauhaus proposed the fine April 26 during a summary appeals hearing in his courtroom. The defendant had been previously convicted by a district magistrate on a harassment charge and, by law, had the right to one appeal. But now, Nauhaus might be the one facing a judicial panel. A spokesperson for Allegheny County District Attorney

Stephen Zappala says the judge’s actions could lead to the filing of an official complaint with the Judicial Conduct Board of Pennsylvania.

Allegheny County Judge Lester Nauhaus proposes defendant pay ‘$1 a touch’ for contact with 15-year-old girl {BY CHARLIE DEITCH AND CELINE ROBERTS} CP sought comment from Nauhaus on May 4, but he did not return those calls. Later that night, however, he did

comment to the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. The judge told the paper that summary appeals, which he currently hears, are “incredibly contentious” and that he “didn’t mean to mock. I didn’t mean to denigrate.” However, the victim who suffered the assault and appeared before Nauhaus is still dealing with the aftermath of the judge’s comments. The now-16year-old victim had originally planned to speak to CP for this story to discuss the way Nauhaus’ comments made her feel. Not yet ready to speak about her experience, she cancelled her appointment to meet with CP. However, she sent CP a statement that she had posted on her CONTINUES ON PG. 08

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MAY 20, 2017 AT THE PITTSBURGH OPERA 2425 LIBERTY AVE This event is 21+ Join us in your most wig-flipping style to support queer and trans youth arts! MC Joseph Hall Lighting Projections by Julie Mallis Performances by LGBTQA+ artists throughout the night, including #kNOwShade, Anthony Williams, Ciao Cutie, ThaCrowBats, a collaboration between Scott Andrew & Joy Poulard Cruz, slowdanger and more! After-hours at Hot Mass with Colognebased DJ and Producer, Lena Willikens: $5 off entry with BWB wristband

VIP Reception 7pm-10pm $125-$200 admission incl. Dance Party Eats by Black Radish Catering. Libations by Franktuary, 5801, The Abbey on Butler Street, and Great Lakes Brewing Co. Champion Award presented to our founder, Susan Haugh. Live and Silent Auctions with Auctioneer Heather Rae Martin.

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dreamsofhope.org/bigwigball Media Sponsors Event Sponsors: 5801 Video Lounge and Cafe, Alcoa, Apple, BNY Mellon, Dollar Bank, Giant Eagle, Port Authority, UPMC Dreams of Hope is funded by many generous individual donors, and The Heinz Endowments, The John J. McDonnell and Margaret T. O’Brien Foundation, MUKTI Fund, Peoples Natural Gas Company, The Grable Foundation, the Pennsylvania Partners in the Arts Program of the Pennsylvania Council on the Arts, the Allegheny Regional Asset District, Kelly Strayhorn Theater, off the WALL Charitable Foundation, the Gouge Family Foundation, the Brooks Foundation of PNC Charitable Trusts, the Cooper-Siegel Family Foundation, and Eden Hall Foundation.

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Facebook page in the days following the judge’s decision. “The one thing that keeps bouncing around in my head is ‘you are only worth $6 you are only worth $6 you are only worth $6.’ Yano, I try and tell myself I’m … priceless, but … a judge, a person that is supposed to make a call and fight for justice, told me that I am worth $6. Getting assaulted? That’s one thing. That keeps me up at night thinking about it. But getting told I’m worth $6? It crushes me. He might as well [have] told me I was worthless. Please, please, please, everyone that sees this, share the link and fight alongside us so we can try and gain justice for my [attacker], and for the judge putting a price on my assault.” The incident that led to the original charges occurred last fall at a local high school. The victim’s mother tells CP that her daughter was walking down the hallway at her school when the defendant, who was then 17, grabbed the girl’s crotch. She pushed him away and he did it again. The victim then pushed the defendant into a row of lockers, and the confrontation was broken up by a teacher. A source with knowledge of the case tells CP that the female student “aggressively defended herself.” The teacher brought the victim to school officials and the incident was reported to a police officer assigned to the school. The 15-year-old told her mother and the officer that the defendant had touched her several times in the past, but this was the first time she reported it. The male student, a football player, was suspended from school for three days and prohibited from playing in one football game, the victim’s mother said.

is in foster care through Allegheny County’s child-welfare system, appealed the fine on her client’s behalf because he lacked the means to pay it. She proposed community service instead, while Assistant District Attorney Jeff Tisak asked for 90 days’ probation. That’s when Nauhaus, according to the court transcript, addressed the victim and then proposed the unorthodox fine. “How many times did he touch?” Nauhaus asked the 16-year-old girl in open court. The victim responded: “I’m going to say about six times maybe.” That led Nauhaus to say: “A $6 fine.” Tisak objected to the judge’s comments. The judge responded: “What do you want me to do? I can put him jail. Do you want me to put him in jail?” “Your honor, we want the 90-days probation,” Tisak replied. “It is just highly inappropriate to tell a young girl that inappropriately touching is worth a dollar a time.” Nauhaus reiterated that the defendant wouldn’t be able to pay a fine. Tisak told Nauhaus, “that’s not the point,” to which the judge replied: “Of course, it’s the point.” Tisak again tried to tell Nauhaus that his comments were inappropriate. The judge cut him off and ordered no fine, with community service, a nocontact order and the 90-day postponement. At the end of the hearing, Nauhaus said, “I feel bad for the victim, I really do. But there really isn’t much I can do.”

REACTION TO the judge’s comments

was swift. When asked to comment on the case, Mike Manko, spokesperson for District Attorney Zappala, told CP in an emailed statement that Zappala would be reporting the matter to the Judicial Conduct Board of Pennsylvania, and that this is not the first time that Nauhaus’ demeanor toward crime victims has been questioned. “At the start of his tenure, District Attorney Zappala, working with the members of the victims’ policy board, made drastic changes to the way our office responds to PFAs [Protection From Abuse orders] and deals with domestic-violence cases,” Manko wrote. “In effectuating these changes, we dealt with the same type of conduct then as is being exhibited by this particular jurist now.” Filing a complaint is both the first and last step that a citizen or the district attorney can take in reporting judicial misconduct. Once the complaint is made, it then moves to the Judicial Conduct Board. If charges are filed, it moves to the Court of Judicial Discipline, which, according to the Judicial Conduct Board of Pennsylvania website, “consists of four judges, two lawyers and two nonlawyers. Half of the Court members are chosen by the Governor, the other half by the Pennsylvania Supreme Court.” The Judicial Conduct Board process has no fixed timetable and is confidential. However, if the case goes to the Court of Judicial Conduct, the proceedings

“THE FINE JUDGE NAUHAUS IMPOSED SENDS THE MESSAGE THAT SEXUAL ASSAULT IS A TRIVIAL THING.”

Judge Lester Nauhaus

The officer urged the victim and her family to press charges, which they did. (The victim’s name is being withheld because she is a juvenile. Though 18 now, the defendant was a juvenile at the time of the incident, and CP is not releasing his name either.) The initial case went before a district magistrate, but the records of those proceedings are sealed because the case involved juveniles. The victim’s mother tells CP that the defendant did not appear and was fined $400 (the transcript from the appeal mentions a $300 fine.) An attorney for the defendant, who

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are open to the public. Judges disciplined by the court may appeal to the state Supreme Court. The Judicial Conduct Board may also appeal if the charges are dismissed. The dense procedure surrounding the complaint process can be timeconsuming and difficult to navigate. In April 2017, Pennsylvanians For Modern Courts issued Report and Recommendations for Improving Pennsylvania’s Judicial Discipline System, in which the group recommended that the Judicial Conduct Board and the Court of Judicial Discipline “enact procedures and practices that promote greater transparency and accountability of [their] processes and decision-making,” in order to promote accountability and public trust. “We have a recommendation that they make it easier to report misconduct,” says PMC Executive Director Maida Malone. “I don’t think there are any avenues necessarily built into the system other than citizens being able to file a complaint.” The report also found that the processes are unnecessarily obscured. According to the report, “A citizen or lawyer should not be required to go on an Internet hunt to obtain basic and important

law, is at the discretion of the Pennsylvania Supreme Court. According to Rule 701 of the Pennsylvania Code: “Certification of a magisterial district judge, judge or justice for senior status shall be subject to the pleasure of the Supreme Court. The Supreme Court at any time, in the exercise of its sole discretion, may rescind or revoke a senior certification.”

An excerpt from the court transcript

READ THE FULL COURT TRANSCRIPT ONLINE at www.pghcitypaper.com

information about procedures, rules, cases, or processes.” Any citizen, regardless of whether they were involved in a particular case, can file a complaint. The form to file a

complaint can be found at www.judicialconductboardofpa.org, but the form must be filled out and sent through the mail; there’s no way to electronically file a complaint. At age 73, Nauhaus is officially retired. However, when he turned 70, he was approved for senior status by the state court administrator. Senior status allows retired judges to continue to serve the Commonwealth if there is a need. That commission, according to state

THE VICTIM and her family aren’t the only people upset with Nauhaus’ comments. Asked about the judge’s actions in the courtroom, Alison Hall, executive director of Pittsburgh Action Against Rape, says, “It’s very discouraging for somebody from the bench to speak to victims in this way.” Hall says Nauhaus had a chance to make a difference in this case by respecting the victim’s situation, and “providing the offender with potential intervention to stop these dangerous behaviors from escalating into felonies.” According to the hearing transcript, the defendant had been in the foster system for some time, and the DA’s office wasn’t seeking an excessive penalty. Even the defendant’s representative admitted that her client “acknowledges CONTINUES ON PG. 12

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what he did on this particular incident was incorrect” and, as Nauhaus says, “at the end of the day, all you want is for me to be merciful, right?” The American Judges Association is an organization whose goal, according to its website, is to “improve the effective administration of justice” and provide continuing education for members of the judiciary and the general public. Minneapolis trial Judge Kevin Burke is the treasurer of the AJA and while he was not referring to this particular case, he tells CP that generally: “You do have to be concerned when the victim is a child, particularly. When you’re dealing with a child, that the language you use as a judge, and the messages that you send are really very, very critically important. When you’re dealing in areas of bullying or sexual harassment or worse, [the judge] needs to send a message [that the judge] will take complaints seriously. “When you’re not careful about what you say and what you do, you can send messages that will undermine the public’s trust, confidence and respect for the justice system.”

Sue Frietsche, a staff attorney at the Women’s Law Project, agrees: “The fine Judge Nauhaus imposed sends the message that sexual assault is a trivial thing, and that justice is served if an offender is charged a dollar a touch. The judge never should have done that and owed that young woman more respectful and compassionate treatment.” This isn’t the first time Nauhaus has come under fire for his decorum, or lack thereof, on the bench. In its March 29 issue, CP reported on Nauhaus’ handling of a harassment case filed by a local business owner. In that case, Nauhaus dismissed the harassment charge, saying the verbal harassment wasn’t that bad because “I have a president who talks worse than that.” In this recent case, it appears as though Nauhaus might have once again referenced President Donald Trump. “Listen,” Nauhaus said from the bench regarding the touching, “I can name at least one adult that thinks that’s OK.” Tisak responded, “Yes, your honor. The Commonwealth does not.” Nauhaus then said: “I understand that. He’s an important guy.” I N F O@ P G HC I T Y PA P E R. C OM

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{PHOTO COURTESY OF THE OFFICE OF ATTORNEY TODD HOLLIS}

A picture taken of Que’chawn Wade after his altercation with Officer Steve Shaulis

POLICE PRESENCE Violent Woodland Hills incidents shed light on the role of law enforcement in schools {BY REBECCA ADDISON} IN A VIDEO from March 3, 2015, then-15year-old Ahmad Williams can be seen sitting in the main office of Woodland Hills High School, a blue binder in his lap. He had been sent there by a teacher after being disruptive in class. Seconds later, Churchill Police Officer Steve Shaulis lifts him from the chair, wraps an arm around his neck and pushes him down a hallway before forcing him to the ground. With his head held down by Woodland Hills High School Principal Kevin Murray, Williams is tased at least two times by Shaulis and handcuffed. Following this incident, Shaulis continued to work in the school, but this wasn’t the last time he would get physical with a student. Last month, he allegedly knocked out one of 14-year-old Que’chawn Wade’s front teeth. Wade had been accused of stealing a cell phone and was sent to the main office, where he can be seen in video footage talking to Shaulis before leaving the room. After an exchange of words between Wade and Shaulis in the hallway, the officer grabs Wade and pushes him back into the room and then into an office off-screen where Shaulis allegedly hit Wade in the face. Since the second incident, Shaulis has been removed from the school, but the recently released footage of the two

incidents has sparked national outrage. Parents and activists are calling for further action in Woodland Hills, demanding justice for students at the high school. They’re also calling for the firing of Shaulis and Principal Murray. “I cannot find one reason for officer Shaulis to become physical in any of the incidents we’ve seen,” said Brandi Fisher, president of the Alliance for Police Accountability at a press conference where video footage of both incidents was released. “What message is this sending to kids — when they’re in an environment where they’re not only being verbally abused, but physically abused — that they will not receive any help. We are calling on our district attorney to evaluate these cases. The system is protecting predators and criminalizing children. The entire community should be standing up behind these children in that school district [who] are being abused and violently attacked.” This isn’t the first time Woodland Hills has gained attention for its disciplinary procedures. Last year, the district was ranked in the top 10 of schools nationwide with the highest rates of out-of-school suspensions at the elementary level. And juvenile-justice experts say these incidents highlight the issues surrounding school

“DO WE REALLY WANT TO TURN ALL OF OUR KIDS INTO CRIMINALS?”

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POLICE PRESENCE, CONTINUED FROM PG. 14

resource officers (SROs) — police officers like Shaulis who have been contracted by districts to work in schools — and how they contribute to the school-to-prison pipeline that funnels African-American students into the justice system. “I’m sorry these young people and their families are going through this situation, but I’m glad these videos are coming to light,” says Harold Jordan, a senior policy advocate at the Philadelphia office of the American Civil Liberties Union. “I’ve been very critical of districts for bringing police into matters where they should not be. Ordinary school discipline should not be a police matter. I’m not saying all school police officers or school resource officers behave in that way, but what we’re seeing in those videos is horrifying.” The presence of police officers in Pennsylvania schools is growing. Of the 500 school districts in Pennsylvania, approximately 150 have law-enforcement officers in their schools. And last year the Pennsylvania Department of Education awarded an additional $6.5 million in grants to provide training and compensation for SROs and school police officers. “Woodland Hills is like a lot of other schools in the country in that schools with black children and/or children who are poor are more likely to have officers

placed in their schools full time,” Jordan says. “That’s what studies show.” And because SROs tend to be placed in schools with high populations of lowincome and black students, Jordan says people often aren’t quick to reprimand officers who get physical with students. “I think sometimes members of the general public are kind of naïve when they hear about these things, and they think, ‘Oh, it must be kids fighting, and the cops are in there breaking things up,’” Jordan says. “There’s this notion that these bad kids need to be policed. And you also have a situation where the accountability mechanisms are thin if any. It’s a volatile combination.” But Jordan says it’s clear from the video footage that officer Shaulis acted inappropriately, and he says the call from many in the local community to have the officer fired is justified. “Whatever was said between the kid and the officer, it is totally inappropriate and totally in the realm of excessive force for the officer to grab the kid and throw him on the ground and drag him down the hall. And for the principal to appear to condone that behavior is in many ways reprehensible,” Jordan says. “This was not

“THAT’S NOT WHAT SCHOOLS ARE FOR.”

We look phenomenal in pink And it’s thanks to you, Pittsburgh. This spring downtown Pittsburgh took a brief hiatus from black and gold while hundreds of redbud trees transformed the riverfronts, parks and hillsides to pink. So thank you volunteers, supporters and especially Colcom Foundation for seeding something special.

Volunteer, plant or learn more at WaterLandLife.org

a kid who pulled a gun or a knife on an officer, and then the officer tackled him to the ground.” And Jordan says parents in the community also have grounds to have Principal Murray fired. He says that, according to the U.S. Department of Education, school districts can be held legally liable for the discriminatory behavior of school security, and that school districts are also responsible for the behavior of all adults in their building. And Jordan says the behavior reflects a greater problem at the school district. “There is a school-governance problem,” Jordan says. “Woodland Hills as a school district has extraordinarily high rates of suspension, among the highest in the state. There have been programs that have been brought in and things of that sort. But this is a situation where educators have to be in control. They have a responsibility.” Woodland Hills Superintendent Alan Johnson says the district has been working to address these issues since it was identified for having high rates of out-ofschool suspensions. “We plan to continue our work focusing all of our efforts on the needs of our students and their full development as individuals,” Johnson wrote in an email to City Paper. “We have done many things in that regard, including rewriting our Code of Conduct, implementing restorative-justice practices and many other things. We’ve been recognized nationally for these efforts and will continue them. These were isolated incidents that do not reflect the values of the school or the Board of School Directors.” But the two incidents shown in the recently released videos aren’t the only times adults at the school have been accused of misbehavior. Last year, Murray was suspended for several months after he was audio-recorded threatening to punch a student. “There was an internal investigation held after the audio recording last year, and disciplinary actions were taken in regard to the principal,” Johnson wrote. While it’s unclear what disciplinary action was taken, last month the Woodland Hills school board hired Murray to serve as coach of the school’s football team, in addition to his duties as principal. There have been consequences for the students involved in the incidents. Williams, from the 2015 incident, was charged with disorderly conduct and resisting arrest. The resisting-arrest charge was dismissed, and Williams was put

on probation for the disorderly-conduct charge. Wade, the student who was allegedly punched, now faces charges of aggravated assault and resisting arrest. Melissa Sickmund, director of the National Center for Juvenile Justice, based in Pittsburgh, says incidents like these raise questions about law-enforcement officers being tasked to handle discipline issues in schools. According to the ACLU, as schools increase the use of police officers, the number of crimes reported to law enforcement also increases. “If you watch kids, particularly in the middle-school age range up to high school, kids will push and shove each other in ways adults don’t. That technically is aggravated assault, but really shouldn’t be,” Sickmund says. “One wonders when you look at what actually happened, could this have been handled differently. … A lot of times, it’s just disrupting the classroom. At what point should the resource officer be the one involved?” Sickmund says the practice of bringing officers into schools was largely prompted by crime in the 1990s. And according to the ACLU, a number of districts in Pennsylvania also increased police presence after the 2013 Sandy Hook school shooting in Connecticut. But according to a 2014 report by NCJJ, there is no evidence to suggest that police involvement in schools reduces crime. “I think a lot of this is from the fears that existed in the mid-’90s, when juvenile violence was at its peak, and especially on the heels of Columbine, where you had schools all over the country with tremendous fear of deadly incidents,” Sickmund says. “But most of what goes on in schools [are] not deadly incidents. The activeshooter situations we hear a lot about on the news are rare events and typically [don’t] involve students. It involves adults coming in from outside the school.” Now African-American kids are bearing the brunt of increased police presence in schools. While data isn’t available for most school districts, a review of the Erie School District by the ACLU found that that nearly all of the disorderly-conduct charges issued against juveniles during the 2011-2012 school year were against black students. “There’s research that says white culture tends to think black youth are older than they are. If you think a kid is 16, they should behave like a 16-year-old, but if they’re really 13 or 14, your discipline might be off,” Sickmund says. “But kids in the justice system should be kids that scare us, not kids who irritate us. Do we really want to turn all of our kids into criminals? That’s not what schools are for.” RA D D I S ON @ P G H C I T Y PA P E R. C OM

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We’ve made it simple! We’ve now made it even easier to purchase or reload your ConnectCard. Riders can now buy a card, purchase a pass or stored cash value and check their balance at over 150 ConnectCard sites throughout Allegheny County including: Port Authority’s Downtown Service Center, most area Giant Eagle stores, Goodwill stores, independent retailers, dozens of ConnectCard machines and online. For more information, go to connectcard.org.

...............................………………PortAuthority.org NEWS

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NEED C NTROL? Center for Family Planning Research is looking for women interested in participating in a year-long investigational birth control pill

E4 Freedom Study To learn more, please contact us! Call: 412-641-5496 Text: “Join CPR” to 412-999-2758 Or visit our website:

www.birthcontrolstudies.org

News of the Weird {BY CHUCK SHEPHERD}

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A San Francisco startup recently introduced a countertop gadget to squeeze fruit and vegetables for you so that your hands don’t get sore. However, the Juicero (a) requires that the fruit and veggies be presliced in precise sections conveniently available for purchase from the Juicero company, (b) has, for some reason, a Wi-Fi connection, and (c) sells for $399. (Bonus: Creator Jeff Dunn originally priced it at $699, but had to discount it after brutal shopper feedback. Double Bonus: Venture capitalists actually invested $120 million to develop the Juicero, anticipating frenzied consumer love.)

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Eligible participants will be compensated for their study participation.

Great Art! (1) Monument to Flossing: Russian artist Mariana Shumkova is certainly doing her part for oral hygiene, publicly unveiling her St. Petersburg statuette of a frightening, malformed head displaying actual extracted human teeth, misaligned and populating holes in the face that represent the mouth and eyes. She told Pravda in April that “only [something with] a strong emotional impact” would make people think about tooth care. (2) Artist Lucy Gafford of Mobile, Ala., has a flourishing audience of fans (exact numbers not revealed), reported AL.com in March, but lacking a formal “brick and mortar” gallery show, she must exhibit her estimated 400 pieces online only. Gafford, who has long hair, periodically flings loose, wet strands onto her shower wall and arranges them into designs, which she photographs and posts, at a rate of about one new creation a week since 2014.

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Criminal Defenses Unlikely to Succeed: (1) To protest a disorderly conduct charge in Sebastian, Fla., in March, Kristen Morrow, 37, and George Harris, 25 (who were so “active” under a blanket that bystanders complained), began screaming at a sheriff’s deputy — that Morrow is a “famous music talent” and that the couple are “with” the Illuminati. (The shadowy “Illuminati,” if it exists, reputedly forbids associates to acknowledge that it exists.) Morrow and Harris were arrested. (2) Wesley Pettis, 24, charged with damaging 60 trees in West Jordan, Utah, in 2016, was ordered to probation and counseling in March, stemming from his defense that, well, the trees had hurt him “first.”

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Why? Just ... Because: (1) The AquaGenie, subject of a current crowdfunding campaign, would be a $70 water bottle with Wi-Fi. Fill the bottle and enter your “water goals”; the app will alert you to various courses of action if you’ve insufficiently hydrated yourself. (2) Already on the market: A company called Blacksocks has introduced Calf Socks Classic With Plus — a pair of socks with an internet connection. The smartphone app can help you colormatch your socks and tell you, among other things, whether it’s time to wash them. Ten pairs cost $189.

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S E N D YO UR WE I R D N E WS TO W E I RD N E W S @ E ART HL I NK . N E T O R WWW. NE WS O F T HE WE I R D. C OM

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Dark Day for Competitive Eating: A 42-year-old man choked to death on April 2 at a Voodoo Doughnut shop in Denver as he accepted the store’s “Tex-Ass Challenge” to eat a half-pounder (equivalent of six regular donuts) in 80 seconds. Later the same day, in Fairfield, Conn., a 21-year-old college student died, three days after collapsing, choking, at a pancake-eating contest at the Sacred Heart University student center.

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Prominent tax-avoider Winston Shrout, 69, was convicted in April on 13 fraud counts and six of “willful” failure to file federal returns during 2009 to 2014 — despite his clever defense, which jurors in Portland, Ore., apparently ignored. Shrout, through seminars and publications, had created a cottage industry teaching ways to beat the tax code, but had managed always to slyly mention that his tips were “void where prohibited by law” (to show that he lacked the requisite “intent” to commit crimes). Among Shrout’s schemes: He once sent homemade “International Bills of Exchange”

to a small community bank in Chicago apparently hoping the bank would carelessly launder them into legal currency, but (in violation of the “keep a low profile” rule) he had given each IBE a face value of $1 trillion.

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Readers’ Choice (1) A successful business in Austin, Texas, collapsed recently with the arrests of the husband-and-wife owners of a “massage parlor,” who had come to police attention when sewer workers fixing a backed-up pipe noticed that the problem was caused by “hundreds of condoms” jamming the connection to the couple’s Jade Massage Therapy. (2) Scott Dion, who has a sometimes-contentious relationship with the Hill County, Mont. tax office, complained in April that he had paid his property bill with a check, but, as before, had written a snarky message on the “memo” line. He told reporters that the treasurer had delayed cashing the check (potentially creating a “late fee” for Dion), apparently because Dion had written “sexual favors” on the memo line.

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LOCAL

LISTEN AS YOU READ: SCAN THE CODE FOR OUR NEW SPOTIFY PLAYLIST, A SOUNDTRACK TO THE STORIES IN THIS SECTION; OR, VISIT WWW.PGHCITYPAPER.COM/BLOGS/FFW/

BEAT

{BY MEG FAIR}

BETTER WITH AGE The members of Nightmarathons are veterans of the scene. They’ve collectively played in at least 10 bands, and they aren’t afraid to point out they’re part of Generation X (with a laugh, of course). But with plenty of gigs lined up, and a slot at Pre-Fest and FEST 16 in Florida this October, Nightmarathons has just begun. While some traditionalists would tell the band to hang it up and get “real” jobs so they can be “real” adults, the band doesn’t subscribe to that silly capitalist notion.

{CP PHOTO BY MARANIE STAAB}

Nightmarathons

“There are no rules,” says band member Corey, laughing. “Not enough people realize that.” For Corey, Stowe, Chris and Tim (they prefer first names only), their collective years of musical experience make communication at practice and during the writing process a piece of cake. “It’s nice to have been in bands before and made a bunch of mistakes already. We’ve learned a lot,” says Stowe. “It’s like when a divorced couple has broken up five times, but the final time they get together for good, it’s great because they’re not afraid to offend each other anymore, so they’re much more honest,” explains Chris. “That’s how we are, so the communication is great.” Nightmarathons’ sound calls forth the earliest wave of emo music and the proto-pop punk of the late ’90s and early 2000s. It’s not like the Blink-182 wave of sound, but closer to the Piebald brand of pop punk that feels really triumphant while being technically interesting. Evident on the latest EP, a four-track, self-titled work released earlier this month, is the honest, raw self-examination that makes emo and pop punk so relatable. There’s acknowledgement of flaws and a desperate desire to get your life together when everything feels like it’s falling apart. “I have to write about those things,” says Stowe. “It’s the only way I ever feel normal, because writing about my problems is what helps me work through them.” “I spent a lot of time not doing that, and it felt awful,” he adds. “I’m so glad to be back in a band and writing again.”

{PHOTO COURTESY OF COLIN MEDLEY}

Andy Shauf

PARTY TALES {BY MARGARET WELSH}

A

NDY SHAUF’S latest release, The Party, might strictly be classified as a concept album. However, it’s probably more accurate to describe it as a collection of musical short stories that are all set under one roof over the course of a single evening. Song by song, the record pans across an ensemble cast of characters, allowing listeners access to their thoughts and conversations as they face insecurity, isolation, relationship landmines, and even death. One track, “Early to the Party,” captures the anxiety of a guest who has arrived “overdressed and underprepared,” waiting for her date to arrive; once he

MEGFAIR@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

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does, he’s already drunk, and goes off with his friends, leaving her alone. In “Quite Like You,” the protagonist drunkenly trash-talks one of his closest friends in hopes of winning over his comrade’s

ANDY SHAUF

WITH JULIA JACKLIN 8:30 p.m. Mon., May 15. Club Café, 56 S. 12th St., South Side. $13-15. 412-431-4950 or www.clubcafelive.com

broken-hearted girlfriend (“I don’t know what you see in him / it seems to me that all he ever does is bring you down”). “Alexander All Alone” follows the thoughts

of a guest who drops dead while smoking what he swore would be his last pack of cigarettes. In other words, despite the setting, this probably isn’t a record you’d put on at a rager. Even at its most upbeat, it’s deeply melancholy and introspective. Around the time that he was writing the record, Shauf — who spoke to City Paper by phone before a recent show in Atlanta — had been reading a lot of short stories, particularly by Denis Johnson and Raymond Carver, “just trying to figure out how people use a limited number of words to get certain feelings and characters across.” He was also going to a lot of parties, and that theme began


naturally cropping up in his songs. “Besides parties being something that you go to to have fun and let loose, I think in those scenarios people are a little bit more willing to give up more of their personalities than in other settings,” Shauf says. “That’s kind of where you get to know people, and people show their true colors and true feeling whether they want to or not. … I guess I’m interested in that kind of thing: what people are really like.” Shauf, who is from Regina, Saskatchewan, got his start playing church music with his family before moving on to the local DIY and punk scenes. He didn’t necessarily fit in musically — “I would not say that I’m a very punk-rock person,” he says, dryly. But Shauf retained some of that punk ethos of self-sufficiency. He recorded all the instruments for The Party himself and, until this last one, all of his records had been recorded at home. He’s often compared to singersongwriters like Paul Simon and Harry Nilsson, and his recordings have a muted 1970s AM-radio feel, full of sweetly sad melodies, delicate arrangements and subtle hooks. For his previous full length, 2012’s The Bearer of Bad News, Shauf wrote 100 songs, 11 of which made it on to the record. For The Party (which came out last year on Anti Records), the writing process was more focused. “Those hundred songs for Bearer,” he laughs, “they’re terrible. There are so many awful songs.” This time around, although it sometimes took a little bit of force to fit all the songs into the story line, he had a better idea of where he was going. “I still have a lot of song ideas, but I know what I want to do musically and lyrically, so that just kind of helps me to stop all the bad ideas.” Shauf has said that his story ideas come from other people’s lives, and that he shouldn’t be considered the starring role in these narratives. But he writes about these small, sometimes emotionally devastating moments in a way that feels so intimate and true-tolife, it’s hard to imagine that his own experiences don’t creep in. And, well, they do, at least a little bit. “I write these songs and then I start recording them right away, so that kind of helps me forget what I was writing about,” he says. “And then a couple shows later I’ll be singing and I’ll [realize], ‘Oh, this is really thinly veiled, and exactly about this specific thing that happened in my life.’” “Sometimes,” he adds, “you think you’re being so tricky with writing about characters and then you’re like, ‘Oh, wait, this isn’t even a character.’” INFO@ PGHC ITY PAP ER.CO M

NEWS

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BEAST MODE {BY BERT DALMER}

{PHOTO COURTESY OF JIMMY HUBBARD}

Mastodon

Let’s say you’re only vaguely familiar with the Atlanta sludge-rockers known as Mastodon. You’re thinking lamb-chop sideburns, primal howls, forehead tattoos. And tusks: scary, hairy tusks. In truth, you wouldn’t be far off, but you’d be selling the band way short. Sure, it’s got an array of metal guitar hooks, played loud and fast. But that’s not the group’s lone appeal. In the prog-rock vein, few of Mastodon’s songs stick with one melodic theme, or one tempo. Just as striking, three of the four members of the band alternate as lead singer — sometimes within a single song — and each has his own distinctive voice. This approach assures an endless variety of sounds that, minute by minute, can be reminiscent of Alice in Chains, Dream Theater or Slayer. Mastodon’s new release, Emperor of Sand, plays to this strength by making vocals the focal point for the first time in its 18-year history. Not only that, but the band upped the ante by making EoS a concept album, documenting the band’s recent family struggles with cancer and death. The concept was the brainchild of drummer Brann Dailor, also the band’s primary lyricist. Dailor himself takes the microphone for many of the songs on the new album, no easy feat given his preference for squeezing in speedy drum fills at every possible opportunity. Dailor is easily the most melodic singer in the band, making EoS more accessible and less “metal,” in the view of some of the band’s most ardent fans. Percussion and space-age synthesizers have also found their way onto the new record. But this isn’t to say the band has gone soft. Monster riffs and complicated, odd-time detours still play a huge part in its songwriting, and bassist Troy Sanders continues to belt out growls at center stage. A warning, however: The new songs might actually tempt you to sing along. Mastodon is known as an exceptionally tight live band, playing an energetic and ambitious brand of hard rock and metal. That shouldn’t change on this tour, although the new emphasis on Dailor’s singing might pose a technical challenge. INFO@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

MASTODON with RUSSIAN CIRCLES, EAGLES OF DEATH METAL 6:30 p.m. Fri., May 12. Stage AE, 400 North Shore Drive, North Side. $37.50. 412-229-5483 or www.promowestlive.com +

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diesel C LU B | LO U N G E

UPCOMING CONCERTS 5/ 14 | 7:00 PM | AA

FEATURING

CHRIS JERICHO

5/ 16 | 7:00 PM | AA

LYNN CULLEN IS GOING BACK TO SCHOOL!

5/ 17 | 7:00 PM | AA

5/21 | 7:00 PM | AA

5/25 | 7:00 PM | AA

{PHOTO COURTESY OF BRIAN ROZMAN}

Samantha Fish

BLUES FISH

6/5 | 8:00 PM | AA

{BY BILL KOPP} KANSAS CITY, MO., musician and vocalist

Lynn Cullen Live 6/9 | 7:00 PM | AA

is now broadcasting daily from studios at Point Park University’s

6/ 12 | 7:00 PM | AA

Center for Media Innovation

6/ 13 | 7:00 PM | AA

The show, presented by Pittsburgh City Paper in conjunction with Point Park University, airs daily at 10 a.m. at

6/ 1 8 | 8:00 P M | 21+

6/20 | 7:00 PM | AA

www.pghcitypaper.com

Samantha Fish made a name for herself as one of relatively few female blues guitarists. She prefers to be measured on her own merits rather than as a female musician, though a 2011 album as part of a project called Girls With Guitars didn’t help much in that regard. But after four solo albums, she has made a move that plays to some previously hidden strengths. Chills & Fever is not a traditional electricblues album: It’s a collection of well-chosen, sometimes littleknown rhythm-and-blues covers, with backing by members of the hard-charging, garage-soul outfit Detroit Cobras.

“OUR FANS COME TO THE SHOW AND THEY GO, ‘OK, I GET IT!’”

6/22 | 7:00 7: 00 PM P M | AA

SAMANTHA FISH 7:30 p.m. Tue., May 16. Moondog’s, 378 Freeport Road, Blawnox. $16. 412-828-2040 or www.moondogs.us

6/29 | 7:00 PM | AA

for tickets visit DIESELPGH.COM or Dave’s Music Mine (southside) 1801 e. carson st | pittsburgh |412.481.8800

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Paper in an interview just before a recent show in Asheville, N.C. Fish said she met producer Bobby Harlow about a year ago. “He heard this soul thing in my voice that I hadn’t really expressed in any of my previous albums,” she said. “I always loved soul singers when I started singing and playing. But being in a trio, I had focused my vocals in a different way.” Fish doesn’t think of soul and R&B as distinctly different from the blues, so when she began considering songs for Chills & Fever, she found lots of great material. “We started putting together the album of 1950s and 1960s songs,” she said. “Some of them are crazy obscure. And it’s just a good time to remake songs that are timeless classics.” Some of the tunes — like Barbara Lewis’ “Hello Stranger” — were hits, but Fish said, “I could put my stamp on them.” She does just that on the album and live in concert, but longtime fans of Fish’s earlier work will be pleased to know that the show still includes plenty of guitar fireworks. “I’m still singing and playing,” she said. “It’s fun to see our fans on this ride with us. They come to the show and they go, ‘OK, I get it!’ As long as we’re up there having fun, people in the audience are going to have fun.”

Chills & Fever, and Fish’s current tour in support of that record, represent a change for the 28-year-old guitarist, but not as big a change as listeners might think. “I’ve always wanted to go with a bigger, more dynamic band,” Fish told City

I N F O@ P G H C I T Y PA P E R. C OM


CRITICS’ PICKS {CP PHOTO BY LUKE THOR TRAVIS}

Nox Boys at Millvale Music Festival

[ROCK] + MON., MAY 15

With 16 stages showcasing 120 local bands, Millvale Music Festival is an exciting reminder of the sheer number of talented performers in Pittsburgh. The fest features a mix of rock, indie, pop, hardcore, hip hop, blues, singer/songwriter music and beyond, so there’s a little somethin’ for each musical taste. My band recommendations include Weird Paul Rock Band, Byron Nash and Plan B, Old Game, Nox Boys, Victoria Morgan, Murder For Girls, Funky Fly Project and Hearken. But that’s literally just 6 percent of the lineup, so there’s a lot more to see. #Math Meg Fair 11:30 a.m. Multiple venues across the business district, Millvale. Free. www. millvalemusic.org

I once walked to Polish Hill from Bloomfield wearing six-inch platform heels in the hopes of properly breaking them in. It was a successful but painful venture that was worth it once I got to Gooski’s. I didn’t have to hop onto a stool or stand on my tiptoes to get a bartender’s attention. It then struck me that with my platforms on, I could stand in the middle of the crowd at a show and actually see the music happening without having to stand on a chair. I plan on using this genius life hack again tonight at Gooski’s while catching the fuzzy rockers of Vanity Creeps, superhero feminist punk act Brazilian Wax and Pittsburgh newcomers LATE. MF 9 p.m. 3117 Brereton St., Polish Hill. $5. 412-681-1658

{PHOTO COURTESY OF BROOKE PORTER}

[FESTIVAL] + SAT., MAY 13

[SONGWRITERS] + SAT., MAY 13 There are two cool events at The Glitter Box Theater tonight from songwriter Eli Conley. First up, the vocal teacher and prominent voice in LGBTQ countryfolk hosts the Instant Queer Choir Workshop, an interactive group session built on “singing rounds, learning songs in simple twoand three-part harmony, and playing group vocal-improvisation games.” All experience levels and identities welcome. Then, at 7:30 p.m., Conley takes the stage for a performance of his sweet, deeply sincere folk music. If you’re unfamiliar, start with “How Do We Know,” from this year’s Strong and Tender full-length. It’s flat-out beautiful. Locals Swampwalk and Rhubarb join Conley on the bill, so don’t miss it. Alex Gordon Instant Queer Choir Workshop 4 p.m., show 6 p.m. 460 Melwood Ave., Oakland. $10 (includes both shows). Ages 12 and up. 412-302-0248 or theglitterboxtheater.com

NEWS

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Eli Conley

f f o k c i K Pa r t y

[PARTY MUSIC] + TUE., MAY 16

SATURDAY, MAY 13th

What did the people of Earth do to deserve TWRP? The Toronto fourpiece, whose given name is Tupper Ware Remix Party, makes some of the funnest music currently available on this planet: Think GWAR, Anamanaguchi and Daft Punk as a supergroup. To be fair, TWRP members wear helmets and dope outfits and have cool names like Lord Phobos and Commander Meouch, but the Daft Punk comparison goes deeper; they’re baldly in love with the 1980s and very good at resuscitating the best aspects of dance music from that decade. If you’re slap-bassaverse or have a low tolerance for fun, dear god, stay far away from Brillobox tonight. AG 9 p.m. 4101 Penn Ave., Bloomfield. $12-15. 412-621-4900

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Burger Eating Contest, Live Music, Drink Specials & more!

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TO SUBMIT A LISTING: HTTP://PGHCITYPAPER.COM/HAPPENINGS {ALL LISTINGS MUST BE SUBMITTED BY 9 A.M. FRIDAY PRIOR TO PUBLICATION}

THU 11 CLUB CAFE. Ellis Paul. 7 p.m. South Side. 412-431-4950. HARD ROCK CAFE. Women Who Rock. For a full schedule, visit www.tinyurl.com/women whorockpgh. 7 p.m. Station Square. 412-481-7625. HOWLERS. Giling, Valerie Kuehne, Amadea, Futurism. 9 p.m. Bloomfield. 412-682-0320. JERGEL’S RHYTHM GRILLE. Big Smo. 8 p.m. Warrendale. 724-799-8333.

FRI 12 BLOOMFIELD BRIDGE TAVERN. Imaginary Tricks, Brash Teeth, Pop Thief. 9 p.m. Bloomfield. 412-682-8611. CATTIVO. The Clock Reads w/ Fletchers Grove. 9 p.m. Lawrenceville. 412-381-6811. CLUB CAFE. Charlie Parr w/ Chicago Farmer. 6 p.m. South Side. 412-431-4950. THE HOB NOB LOUNGE. Easy Action. 9 p.m. West Mifflin. 412-461-8541. JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. Bat Zuppel, Dinosoul & Thousandzz of Beez. 9:30 p.m. North Side. 412-904-3335. THE LAMP THEATRE. Scott Blasey of The Clarks & Bo Wagner. A tribute to Frank Sinatra 7:30 p.m. Irwin. 724-367-4000. MOONDOG’S. The Bail Jumpers. 8:30 p.m. Blawnox. 412-828-2040. SMILING MOOSE. Nordjevel, Imperial Triumphant & Taphos Nomos. 7 p.m. South Side. 412-431-4668. SPEAL’S TAVERN. Lenny Smith & The Instant Gators. 9 p.m. New Alexandria. 724-433-1322. STAGE AE. Mastodon w/ Eagles of Death Metal & Russian Circles. 6 p.m. North Side. 412-229-5483.

JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. Starship Mantis & Uptowne Buddha. outer space costume party. Ballroom. 9 p.m. North Side. 412-904-3335. KENDREW’S. The Hellin Back Band. 9 p.m. Moon. 724-375-5959. MOONDOG’S. The Nied’s Hotel Band. fundraiser for the Pittsburgh Blues & Roots Festival. 8 p.m. Blawnox. 412-828-2040. MR. SMALLS THEATER. Choking Victim. 7 p.m. Millvale. 412-821-4447. SUB ALPINE CLUB. King’s Ransom. 9 p.m. Turtle Creek. 412-823-6661.

SUN 14 CLUB CAFE. The Family Crest. 7 p.m. South Side. 412-431-4950. DIESEL. Eyes Set To Kill w/ Bad Seed Rising & The Nearly Deads. 7 p.m. South Side. 412-431-8800. HOWLERS. Personal Space, Scott Fry Experience, Soft Gondola. 9 p.m. Bloomfield. 412-682-0320. MR. SMALLS THEATER. The Sword w/ Mount Carmel. 7 p.m. Millvale. 412-821-4447. THE R BAR. Billy The Kid & the

Regulators. 6 p.m. Dormont. 412-942-0882.

MON 15 CLUB CAFE. Andy Shauf w/ Julia Jacklin. 7:30 p.m. South Side. 412-431-4950. GOOSKI’S. Vanity Creeps, Brazilian Wax & LATE. 9 p.m. Polish Hill. 412-681-1658.

TUE 16 CLUB CAFE. Leif Vollebekk. 7 p.m. South Side. 412-431-4950. DIESEL. Fozzy w/ KYNG, Sons of Texas & Through These Walls. 7 p.m. South Side. 412-431-8800. JERGEL’S RHYTHM GRILLE. Angel Blue Band. 7:30 p.m. Warrendale. 724-799-8333. STAGE AE. The xx. 7 p.m. North Side. 412-229-5483.

WED 17 CLUB CAFE. Angaleena Presley. 7 p.m. South Side. 412-431-4950. DIESEL. Twiztid w/ G-MO SKEE, Young Wicked, Gorilla Voltage, Chronic Zombiez & MORBID

MP 3 MONDAY GOOD DUDE LOJACK {PHOTO COURTESY OF ALLISON BUSTIN}

ROCK/POP

SAT 13 A.O.H. DIVISION 23. Molly Alphabet. 8 p.m. Lawrenceville. BAJA BAR AND GRILL. NightLife Band. 9 p.m. Fox Chapel. 412-963-0640. BRILLOBOX. Paddy the Wanderer, Delicious Pastries & Talkers. 9 p.m. Bloomfield. 412-621-4900. CLUB CAFE. Overcoats. 6 p.m. The Lovely Cur, Cape Cod & Gary Smith. 10 p.m. South Side. 412-431-4950. DOWNEY’S HOUSE. Trainwreck. 8:30 p.m. Robinson. 412-489-5631. HARD ROCK CAFE. STP2 w/ Bleach Fuzz. 10 p.m. Station Square. 412-481-7625.

24

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER

05.10/05.17.2017

Each week, we post a song from a local artist online. This week’s is from Good Dude Lojack’s forthcoming full-length, Voyage, out on May 19. “Slowbreaker,” featuring Nice Rec, is the perfect name for this song. It’s an unrushed, slow-burning (or breaking?) synth track that, as you’d expect from these two, has some seriously satisfying production. Stream it at FFW>>, the music blog at pghcitypaper.com.


HEAVY ROTATION

SIKOSIS. 7 p.m. South Side. 412-431-8800. JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. Wild N Young: K-Pop Appreciation! 8 p.m. North Side. 412-904-3335. JERGEL’S RHYTHM GRILLE. Ian Hunter & the Rant Band. 8 p.m. Warrendale. 724-799-8333. MR. SMALLS THEATER. Meat Puppets & Mike Watt w/ The Jom & Terry Show. 7 p.m. Millvale. 412-821-4447. PUGLIANO’S ITALIAN GRILL. Lenny Smith & Larry Siefers. 7 p.m. Monroeville. 724-327-8991. STAGE AE. Gojira w/ Deafheaven, Code Orange & ONI. 6:30 p.m. North Side. 412-229-5483.

SUN 14 ATRIAS RESTAURANT & TAVERN. The Etta Cox Duo. 11 a.m. Wexford. 724-934-3660. JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. Daryl Strodes’ Mother’s Day Matinee. 7 p.m. ballroom. Ian Evans Trio. 7 p.m. speakeasy. North Side. 412-904-3335. ROCKS LANDING BAR & GRILLE. Tony Campbell, John Hall, Howie Alexander & Dennis Garner. 7-10 p.m. McKees Rocks. 412- 875- 5809.

These are the songs that City Paper music writer Meg Fair can’t stop listening to: Paramore

“Hard Times”

MON 15 HAMBONE’S. Ian Kane, Ronnie Weiss & Tom Boyce. Jazz Standards, showtunes & blues. 6:30 p.m. Lawrenceville. 412-681-4318. JERGEL’S RHYTHM GRILLE. Keely Singer. 7 p.m. Warrendale. 724-799-8333.

Aye Nako

“Particle Mace”

DJS THU 11

JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. Mark Strickland & Joseph Wingenfeld. dining room. 7 p.m. North Side. 412-904-3335. RIVERS CLUB. Lucarelli Jazz w/ Peg Wilson. 5:30 p.m. Downtown. 412-391-5227.

Cayetana

“Bus Ticket”

FRI 12 ANDYS WINE BAR. DJ Malls Spins Vinyl. 5 p.m. Downtown. 412-773-8884. BELVEDERE’S. DJ admc. West coast hip hop night. Lawrenceville. 412-687-2555. THE FLATS ON CARSON. Pete Butta. 10 p.m. South Side. 412-586-7644. JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. Downtempo & Ambient. 9 p.m. ballroom. PLAY. 10 p.m. speakeasy. North Side. 412-904-3335. ONE 10 LOUNGE. DJ Goodnight, DJ Rojo. 9 p.m. Downtown. 412-874-4582. RIVERS CASINO. VDJ Millz. 8:30 p.m. North Side. 412-231-7777. ROWDY BUCK. Top 40 Dance. 10 p.m. South Side. 412-431-2825. RUGGER’S PUB. 80s Night w/ DJ Connor. 9 p.m. South Side. 412-381-1330.

SAT 13

Diamonds. 9 p.m. Lawrenceville. 412-682-6414.

FRI 12 NIED’S HOTEL. Jack of Diamonds. 8 p.m. Lawrenceville. 412-781-9853. UNITED CROATIAN CLUB. The Bo’Hog Brothers. 8 p.m. New Brighton. 724-843-2101.

SAT 13 SPEAL’S TAVERN. The Bo’Hog Brothers. 10 p.m. New Alexandria. 724-433-1322.

TUE 16

HOTEL INDIGO. Roger Barbour Band. 7 p.m. East Liberty. 412-665-0555. JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. Roger Humphries Jam Session. Ballroom. 8 p.m. North Side. 412-904-3335. RILEY’S POUR HOUSE. Lucarelli Jazz w/ Louis Lucarelli & Andy Yalch. 8 p.m. Carnegie. 412-279-0770. VALLOZZI’S PITTSBURGH. Eric Johnson. 5:30 p.m. Downtown. 412-394-3400.

SMILING MOOSE. Rock Star Karaoke w/ T-MONEY. 9:30 p.m. South Side. 412-431-4668.

BLUES THU 11 THE NEW AMSTERDAM. Jack of

NEWS

DOWNEY’S HOUSE. Jay Wiley. 9:30 p.m. Robinson. 412-489-5631.

FRI 12

SUN 14

WED 17

THU 11

“Evil”

BELVEDERE’S. DJ admc. Rihanna dance night. 10 p.m. Lawrenceville. 412-687-2555. DIESEL. DJ CK. 10 p.m. South Side. 412-431-8800. PERLE CHAMPAGNE BAR. DJ Tenova. ladies night. 9 p.m. Downtown. 412-471-2058. REMEDY. Feeling Without Touching. 10 p.m. Lawrenceville. 412-781-6771. ROWDY BUCK. Top 40 Dance. 10 p.m. South Side. 412-431-2825.

THE GOLDMARK. Pete Butta. Reggae & dancehall. 10 p.m. Lawrenceville. 412-688-8820.

ACOUSTIC

Interpol

PALACE THEATRE. Buddy Guy. 7:30 p.m. Greensburg. 724-836-8000.

TUE 16 MOONDOG’S. Samantha Fish. 7:30 p.m. Blawnox. 412-828-2040.

JAZZ

MUSIC

ANDORA RESTAURANT FOX CHAPEL. Pianist Harry Cardillo & vocalist Charlie Sanders. 6:30 p.m. Fox Chapel. 412-967-1900. FOX CHAPEL PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH. The Jazz Conspiracy Swingtet. 7:30 p.m. Fox Chapel. 412-635-7654. JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. Charlie Barath & Friends feat. Jimmy Adler & John Burgh. 6 p.m. North Side. 412-904-3335. LA CASA NARCISI. Erin Burkett & Virgil Walters w/ Max Leake & Mike Tomaro. 6 p.m. Gibsonia. 724-444-4744.

+

EVENTS

CLASSICAL

FRI 12

FRI 12 PNC POPS W/ NEIL SEDAKA. 8 p.m. Heinz Hall, Downtown. 412-392-4900. VERDI’S FALSTAFF. 8 p.m. Charity Randall Theatre, Oakland. 412-501-3330.

SAT 13 PNC POPS W/ NEIL SEDAKA. 8 p.m. Heinz Hall, Downtown. 412-392-4900.

PNC POPS W/ NEIL SEDAKA. 2:30 p.m. Heinz Hall, Downtown. 412-392-4900. SONGS & STRINGS. 4 p.m. First Unitarian Church, Shadyside. 412-477-9842. VERDI’S FALSTAFF. 3 p.m. Charity Randall Theatre, Oakland. 412-501-3330.

OTHER MUSIC THU 11

LINDEN GROVE. No Bad JuJu. 9 p.m. Castle Shannon. 412-882-8687. RIVERS CASINO. Darryl & Kim Duo. 9 p.m. North Side. 412-231-7777.

SAT 13 ANDY WARHOL MUSEUM. Sound Series: Ry X. 8 p.m. North Side. 412-237-8300. JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. Starship Mantis. 9 p.m. speakeasy. Travlin’. 8 p.m. ballroom. North Side. 412-904-3335. RIVERS CASINO. Ferris Bueller’s Revenge. 9 p.m. Stevee Wellons Band Trio. 9 p.m. North Side. 412-231-7777.

MON 15 STAGE AE. Tech N9ne. 6:30 p.m. North Side. 412-229-5483.

WED 17 PALACE THEATRE. Paul Anka. 7:30 p.m. Greensburg. 724-836-8000. STAGE AE. Gojira. 6:30 p.m. North Side. 412-229-5483.

ANDY WARHOL MUSEUM. Sound Series: San Fermin w/ Low Roar. 8 p.m. North Side. 412-237-8300.

SUN 14 HAMBONE’S. Ukulele Jam. 7 p.m. Lawrenceville. 412-681-4318.

WED 17 ALLEGHENY ELKS LODGE #339. Pittsburgh Banjo Club. 8 p.m. North Side. 412-321-1834. PARK HOUSE. Shelf Life String Band. 9 p.m. North Side. 412-224-2273. PENN HEBRON GARDEN CLUB. Penn Hills Coffeehouse. Singer songwriter showcase featuring a rotating lineup of jazz, acoustic, bluegrass & world music. 7-9 p.m. Penn Hills. 412-204-7147. WHEELFISH. Jason Born. 7 p.m. Ross. 412-487-8909.

7 p.m. Strip District. 412-281-6593. JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. Tony Campbell Jam Session. 5 p.m. North Side. 412-904-3335. THE MONROEVILLE RACQUET CLUB. Jazz Bean Live. 7 p.m. Monroeville. 412-728-4155. THE SPACE UPSTAIRS. Second Saturdays. Jazz-happening series feat. live music, multimedia experimentations, more. Hosted by The Pillow Project. Second Sat. of every month, 8 p.m. Point Breeze. 412-225-9269.

ARTS

JERGEL’S RHYTHM GRILLE. Phil Vassar. 8 p.m. Warrendale. 724-799-8333.

DOUBLE WIDE GRILL. Right TurnClyde. 9 p.m. Mars. 724-553-5212. FIRST UNITARIAN CHURCH. Matt Nakoa. 7:30 p.m. Shadyside. 412-621-8008. THE HANGAR. Eclectic Acoustics. 6:30 p.m. Coraopolis. 724-457-9630. THE GLITTER BOX THEATER. Eli Conley. 7:30 p.m. Oakland. 724-699-2613.

pape pghcitym .co

+

SAT 13

SAT 13

SAT 13 FULL LIST E CIOPPINO SEAFOOD CHOPHOUSE BAR. ONwLwIN w. Roger Barbour Band. r

THU 11

+

CLUB CAFE. Jackson Howard w/ Aris Paul. 10 p.m. South Side. 412-431-4950.

FRI 12

CATTIVO. Acid Cats w/ Voodoo Circuit. 8 p.m. Lawrenceville. 412-381-6811. LINDEN GROVE. Karaoke. 8 p.m. Castle Shannon. 412-882-8687. RIVERS CASINO. Kevin Howard Trio. 7 p.m. North Side. 412-231-7777.

SUN 14

WED 17

MR. SMALLS THEATER. Centrifuge Thursdays. At the Funhouse. 9 p.m. Millvale. 412-821-4447. PERLE CHAMPAGNE BAR. Bobby D Bachata. 10 p.m. Downtown. 412-471-2058.

Paslay. 8 p.m. Warrendale. 724-799-8333.

REGGAE THU 11 PIRATA. The Flow Band. 9 p.m. Downtown. 412-323-3000.

COUNTRY FRI 12 JERGEL’S RHYTHM GRILLE. Eric

+

TASTE

+

SCREEN

+

SPORTS

+

CLASSIFIEDS

25


What to do IN PITTSBURGH

May 10 - 16 WEDNESDAY 10 Chastity

SMILING MOOSE South Side. 412-431-4668. With special guest Wanderer. All ages show. Tickets: ticketfly.com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 7p.m.

The Fabulous Equinox Orchestra THE PALACE THEATRE Greensburg. 724-836-8000. Tickets: thepalacetheatre.org. 7:30p.m.

THURSDAY 11 Acid Cats

CATTIVO Lawrenceville. 412-687-2157. With special guest Voodoo Circuit. Over 21 show. Tickets: greyareaprod.com. 8p.m.

The 1975 STAGE AE North Side. With special guests Pale Waves & Colouring. All ages show. Tickets: ticketmaster.com or 1-800-745-3000. Doors open at 7p.m.

Big Smo JERGEL’S RHYTHM GRILLE Warrendale. 724-799-8333. With special guests East Coast Turnaround and Cledus & the Cadillacs. Tickets: ticketfly.com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 7p.m.

Red Hot Chili Peppers PPG PAINTS ARENA Downtown. With special guest Irontom. All ages show. Tickets: ticketmaster.com or 1-800-745-3000. 8p.m.

Sound Series: San Fermin ANDY WARHOL MUSEUM North Side. With special guest Low Roar. For tickets and more info visit warhol.org. 8p.m.

Laura Marling REX THEATER South Side. 412-381-6811. All ages show. Tickets: ticketfly.com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 8p.m.

412-687-2157. Over 21 show. Tickets: greyareaprod.com. 9p.m.

Greensburg. 724-836-8000. Tickets: thepalacetheatre.org. 7:30p.m.

Mastodon, Eagles of Death Metal & Russian Circles

MONDAY 15

STAGE AE North Side. All ages show. Tickets: ticketmaster.com or 1-800-745-3000. Doors open at 6:30p.m.

STAGE AE North Side. With special guests Brotha Lynch Hung, Krizz Kaliko, Stevie Stone, CES CRU & Crumbzilla. All ages show. Tickets: ticketmaster.com or 1-800-745-3000. Doors open at 6:30p.m.

TECH N9NE

Neil Sedaka HEINZ HALL Downtown. 412-392-4900. Tickets: pittsburghsymphony. org. Through May 14.

SATURDAY 13

The xx

STAGE AE North Side. With special guest Sampha. All ages show. Tickets: ticketmaster.com or 1-800-745-3000. Doors open at 7p.m.

Pittsburgh Burger Week Kickoff Party

SOCIAL Bakery Square. Over 21 event. For tickets and more info visit pghburgerweek.com. 3p.m.

LAURA MARLING REX THEATER MAY 11

Chris Rock

Two Tall Twins

FRIDAY 12 125

PULCHRA Lawrenceville. 412-228-0838. Over 21 show. Free show. 8p.m.

CATTIVO Lawrenceville.

SUNDAY 14

The Clock Reads & Fletcher’s Grove

TUESDAY 16

@bradyfromtheburgh

The Sword MR. SMALLS THEATRE Millvale. 412-421-4447. With special guest Mount Carmel. All ages show.

@j_sabu1987

Tickets: ticketweb.com/opus one. 8p.m.

Buddy Guy THE PALACE THEATRE

BENEDUM CENTER Downtown. 412-456-6666. Tickets: livenation.com. Through May 18.

@patent_goddess

Thanks for sharing your photos with us! Tag your photos of Pittsburgh on Instagram with #CPReaderArt, and we’ll regram our favorites!

pghcitypaper

@sam.i.still.am

26

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER

05.10/05.17.2017

@streetview412


MAY 15-21

23 BURGERS

7 DAYS

SUN’S OUT, BUNS OUT: GET READY FOR PITTSBURGH’S BU BURGER URG GER WEEK

EMILY CATALANO, Good Food Pittsburgh

Ready to try the best burger of your life? Then Pittsburgh City Paper’s inaugural Burger Week — celebrating the tastiest burgers our city has to offer — is the event for you. From May 15-21, Pittsburgh will become Burgerburgh, with 23 local restaurants offering brand-new tasty creations. Each of the participating restaurants will create a custom burger that will only be available during Burger Week. Each will feature special toppings and fun new flavor combinations. Restaurants from Mount Lebanon to Lawrenceville, and everywhere in between, are inviting you to eat your way through Pittsburgh, trying as many burgers as you can. Because once Burger Week

is over, these special sandwiches will be off the menu for good. From the Mighty Tasty at Burgh’ers (two thin burger patties topped with American cheese, Romaine, caramelized onion, pickles and a special sauce on a mayo-grilled bun) to the Joey Hilty at Station (a chuck-brisket and short-rib blend topped with BBQ pork belly, onion rings and smoked bleu cheese), you’ll find a burger to suit every taste. Plus, not only will every restaurant be serving awesome burgers, but they’ll also have plenty of sides (hello, fries!) and drinks to choose from. And do you know what goes best with burgers? Beer, of course and you could get plenty of it.

Budweiser is getting in on the Burger Week action, and offering a super prize to one lucky Instagrammer: Share a photo on Instagram using the hashtag #pghburgerweek anytime from May 15 through May 21, and you’ll be automatically entered to win free Budweiser for a year. Yep, that’s FREE BUDWEISER FOR A YEAR. Thanks, Budweiser! So, have some fun, stuff your face, and enjoy one of the greatest culinary gifts that mankind has been ever given. All hail Pittsburgh Burger Week! Want to find out more? Visit pghburgerweek.com to see all of the participating restaurants and special burgers. Also, mark your calendars for the Burger Week kickoff party

ADVERTORIAL

on May 13 at Social at Bakery Square, with drinks, live music, and a can’t-miss burgereating contest!


PITTSBURGH BURGER WEEK

/

23 BURGERS

/

7 D AY S

/

MAY 15-21

/

CP PROMOTIONS

BRGR

AUGUST HENRY’S CITY SALOON

BENJAMIN’S BURGER BAR ––––– NORTH SIDE –––––

––– –– ––– – MOUNT LLEEBANON –– –––– –

STUFFED JALAPEÑO POPPER BURGER 8-oz. burger stuffed with cream cheese, jalapeños and red peppers, with lettuce, tomato and onion straws, served on a brioche bun.

MY MORNING BURGER 7-oz. burger patty blended with sirloin, brisket and short-rib, topped with applewood-smoked bacon, New York sharp cheddar cheese, bacon-fat home fries and a dippy egg.

BLOCK BURGER Jamison Farms beef, house-smoked bacon, savory onion jam, house BBQ sauce, arugula and fresh tomato.

DOROTHY 6 BLAST FURNACE CAFE

EASE: MODERN COMFORT CUISINE

THE FOUNDRY TABLE & TAP ––––– NORTH SIDE –––––

––––– STATION SQUARE –––––

DOROTHY’S STEELWORKER BURGER 8-oz. beef patty, BBQ pulled pork, sharp cheddar cheese, crispy fried onions and candied bacon, with lettuce, tomatoes and pickled onions.

TEX MEX BURGER Seasoned ground chuck, mesquite rub, braised short ribs, applewood-smoked bacon, onion ring, pepper-jack cheese, guacamole, lettuce, tomato and chipotle aioli on a toasted brioche bun.

THE HILL & HOOT Jubilee Hilltop Ranch ground beef, wild PA ramp aioli, Goat Rodeo hootenanny cheese, sautéed mushrooms and fried egg on an onion poppy-seed bun.

ATOMIC BURGER Certified Angus beef seasoned with atomic seasoning and topped with fried onion frizzles, pepper-jack cheese, tomato, arugula, Sriracha mayo and stacked with two atomic beer-battered peppers for a fiery finish.

––––– DOWNTOWN –––––

––––– HOMESTEAD –––––

PITTSBURGH STEAK COMPANY

––––– REGENT SQUARE –––––

BLOCK 292

SHARP EDGE

SOCIAL

EASTSIDE, CRANBERRY, MT. LEBANON, DOWNTOWN (OPENING MAY 15) PNC PARK AND FOOD TRUCK

EL GAUCHO VERDE 7-oz. grass-fed Angus burger topped with chimichurri, marinated feta, oven-roasted tomatoes, alfalfa sprouts and pesto aioli on a wheat bun.

HARD ROCK CAFE

STACK’D

––––– SOUTH SIDE –––––

FRIENDSHIP, DOWNTOWN, SEWICKLEY, CRAFTON AND MCMURRAY

–––– –– BAKERY SQUARE––– –––

OAKLAND, SHADYSIDE AND WEXFORD

THE BRISKET BURGER 10-oz. mixed patty with ribs, beef brisket and ground beef. Topped with coleslaw mixed with steak sauce, smoked cheddar, smoked gouda, smoked beef brisket, crispy fried onion strings and housemade BBQ sauce on a grilled brioche bun.

ABBEY BURGER Veal and sirloin ground and blended with caramelized onions and roasted garlic, topped with provolone cheese and red pepper aioli.

THE GRC BURGER House-blended beef burger, bacon-onion jam, iceberg lettuce, Swiss cheese and crispy jalapeños.

BLUE MOO BURGER Crumbled blue cheese, A1 sauce, roasted red peppers, grilled onions, sautéed spinach and garlic aioli on a kaiser bun.

PG GHB BUR RGER RWEEEK..COM M ADVERTORIAL


CP PROMOTIONS

BURGATORY

MURRYSVILLE, ROBINSON, WATERFRONT/ HOMESTEAD, NORTH SHORE AND MCCANDLESS

CHEESES TAKE THE WHEEL Angel-dusted beef-burger patty topped with fontina cheese, roasted tomato parmesan sauce, manchego cheese crisp, seared pork belly, and spinach on a pretzel bun.

HONEST JOHN’S

/

MAY 15-21

/

7 D AY S

/

23 BURGERS

/

PITTSBURGH BURGER WEEK

CAIN’S SALOON

BURGH’ERS

THE COMMONER

––––– LAWRENCEVILLE –––––

––––– DORMONT –––––

––––– DOWNTOWN –––––

MIGHTY TASTY Two thin burger patties topped with American cheese, romaine, caramelized onion, pickles and special sauce served on a mayo-grilled bun.

BIG KAHUNA BURGER One half pound of Angus reserve, fresh grilled pineapple, Virginia ham, Swiss cheese, lettuce, tomato and onion tossed in pineapple remoulade. Seasoned with Jamaican rub and served on a brioche bun.

BURGHS OF A FEATHER American Wagyu beef, foie gras aioli, duck egg, spicy bread-and-butter pickles, lettuce and tomato on a duck-fat brioche bun.

OVER THE BAR BICYCLE CAFE

MODERN CAFE

PIG IRON PUBLIC HOUSE

–– –– – HOMESTEAD –– –––– –––– ––

–– –––– – NORTH SIDE ––––– –

SOUTH SIDE AND NORTH PARK BOATHOUSE

–––– –– CRAN NBEERR RY TOW WNSHIP P –– –––– –

THE COCKEYED OPTIMIST House-blend ground beef topped with melted Swiss cheese, caramelized onions and applewood-smoked bacon with a scratch bourbon glaze on a brioche bun.

REUBEN BURGER 8-oz. fresh hamburger patty, Swiss cheese, Thousand Island dressing, lean corned beef and sauerkraut on a brioche bun from Breadworks.

TRICKED-OUT DIRT RAG Our house-seasoned burger topped with two fried pickles, applewood-smoked bacon, American cheese, and Wholey’s honey roasted peanut butter on a Mancini’s brioche bun.

DEEP-FRIED BBQ BURGER Burger patty, smoked cheddar, smoked bacon, caramelized onions and BBQ chipotle sauce.

STATION

TESSARO’S

SUNNY JIM’S

–– –––– – BLLOO OMFFIELD D –– ––– ––

–– –––– – EMSWORTH ––––– –

––––– BLOOMFIELD ––––– –

JOEY HILTY Chuck-brisket and short-rib blend with BBQ pork belly, onion rings and smoked blue cheese on a brioche bun.

SUNNY’S EXPERIENCE Sunny-side egg, bacon, lettuce, tomato, pickle, topped with hand-dipped onion ring.

SWEET PEPPER BURGER 8 Ounces of our delicious in-house butcher blended beef topped with hot pepper cheese, sautéed sweet peppers, mushrooms, juicy bacon, on our baked in Bloomfield Bun.

#P PGH HBU URGEERW WEEEK ADVERTORIAL


Share a photo on Instagram using #pghburgerweek during Burger Week to be automatically entered to win

FREE BUDWEISER FOR A YEAR! - BROUGHT TO YOU BY BUDWEISER.

Tag the participating restaurant and @pghcitypaper for additional brownie points!

9% LES CK

ONIO CE N

ÉED S UT OM SA SHRO MU

8%

ONI N RINO G

6%

PE UTTE B

00 PEOPLE We asked 4 rger favorite bu what their e er h d n a s a topping w lts… are the resu

KICKOFF PARTY! MAY 13 @ 3PM

27%

! YOU VOTED

BAC ON

2% UT N A R

LAIN

8% P

ED FRIGG E

10%

PI

30%

THE TOM CLASS AT IC AND O, LETTU :

SOCIAL AT BAKERY SQUARE Join Pittsburgh City Paper this Saturday for the first annual Pittsburgh Burger Week Kickoff Party. Enjoy two FREE Budweisers with your ticket price, jam to some live music from The Delaneys and watch the Social Burger Eating Competition.

Sounds like a fun little Saturday, doesn’t it? Get tickets while they last at pghburgerweek.com, only $10. ADVERTORIAL


WHO’S ALLOWED IN AND WHO IS LEFT OUT?

[BOOK REVIEW]

MEATING PLACE Local writer Marissa Landrigan addresses something most of us can relate to: a slow and horrifying awakening to the realities of a world in which we benefit from suffering. The University of Pittsburgh at Johnstown professor’s particular cross — the ethics of meat — was her road to self-discovery and her new book, The Vegetarian’s Guide to Eating Meat (Greystone Books, 234 pp., $16.95). Landrigan’s strong narrative voice depicts the journey of a quiet girl from her boisterous, Italian, food-centric home to Ithaca College, where she shaved her head and became an activist. After seeing PETA’s film Meet Your Meat, with its grisly images of chickens, cows and pigs at industrial farms and slaughterhouses, she stopped eating meat for seven years. As a young woman pursuing a career and romance, Landrigan followed her passions around the country while struggling to find meaning in her dietary choices. The book is most stirring when relaying her experiences moment to moment: walking the streets of Washington, D.C., overworked, underpaid and coming home to soy-drenched, processed MorningStar meals; with her hands in the dirt at an organic farm; and hunting her first elk, in Montana. In returning to meat-eating, she’s determined to get as close to the source as possible. As someone who was radicalized young and stopped eating meat for a decade, I found parts of this book torturous to read. It reflected so closely the earnest conflict and passion I had as an overconfident young activist. Landrigan, admirably, admits just how lost she felt and, at times, how superior to meat-eaters. Her struggle to distinguish her ideals from the reality of our food choices casts a harsh light on how the American food landscape forces consumers to choose (assuming they’re privileged enough to choose) between finances, ethics and accessibility. The killing floor is where explorations of the ego must end. Landrigan finds herself at Black Earth Meats, a real slaughterhouse, confronting the killing and death that drove her from meat consumption. “It was here that my eyes opened fully,” she writes, “and the whole time, I was standing beneath a sign that read ‘We Honor These Animals, For By Their Death, We Gain Life.’” Still, I’m left wanting more from Landrigan. Something more razor-sharp, less memoir and more investigation. I have no doubt she’ll deliver. CELINE@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

MARISSA LANDRIGAN BOOK LAUNCH AND SIGNING 7 p.m. Fri., May 12. White Whale Bookstore, 4754 Liberty Ave., Bloomfield. Free. 412-224-2847 or www.whitewhalebookstore.com NEWS

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Marissa Landrigan {PHOTO COURTESY OF HEATHER KRESGE PHOTOGRAPHY}

{BY CELINE ROBERTS}

Ursula Burke’s “Embroidery Frieze (The Politicians)”

[ART REVIEW]

UNEQUAL TIME {BY NADINE WASSERMAN}

D

OUBLE consciousness, multicultur-

persecution. But even they, in turn, persecuted others. The savagery that ensued over the course of our history — genocide, slavery, indentured servitude, worker exploitation, racial inequality — is difficult to reconcile with the relative civility that we have actually achieved in this fragile democracy.

alism, intersectionality. Different terms, from different eras, all designed to address the fact that the identities of people in minority groups are complicated by the ways they are viewed, oppressed and discriminated against by the dominant culture. The current rise of nationalism brings with it a kind of tribalism that pits groups against one another in particularly disturbing ways. There is evidence that people see inequality only as it relates to their own particular circumstances. Despite the advantages they have had, they focus on their own struggles. To be sure, we all have struggles, but some people face insurmountable disadvantages based on things like ethnicity, religion or gender. Our own nation was founded by colonists escaping religious

SO IT IS continues through Aug. 6. The Mattress Factory, 1414 Monterey St., North Side. 412-231-3169 or www.mattress.org

A fragile peace also exists in Northern Ireland today, where for decades the oppression of Catholics meant that civil rights and the freedom to practice one’s own religion became important components

of the fight against imperialism. As part of a commemoration of the 1916 Easter Uprising, the artist Rita Duffy created a Souvenir Shop in Dublin last year. And for the exhibition so it is, curated by John Carson at the Mattress Factory’s building at 1414 Monterey St., Duffy has assembled a more specifically American version. The “shop” sits at the entrance to the exhibition, which includes work by seven artists from Northern Ireland. It functions both as an installation and a sort of general store where you can purchase the items on display. Duffy transforms the stuff of everyday life, such as mirrors, handkerchiefs, candy, seeds and dolls, into statements about oppression, inequality, racism and violence. There are dishes decorated with images of guns, delicate hankies imprinted with portraits of Sojourner Truth CONTINUES ON PG. 32

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WILD WITH HAPPY BY

Colman Domingo

DIRECTED BY

OUTRAGEOUS COMEDY

Reginald L. Douglas

Use code CITYCITY to save $5 on single tickets

BUY YOUR TICKETS TODAY! 412.431.CITY (2489) / CityTheatreCompany.org / South Side

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MAY 23-28 • HEINZ HALL TRUS TR U TA US TARTS. S ORG • BOXX OF O FICE AT THHEA EATE TERR SQ SQUUA REE 412-39 412392-4900 • GROUP P S 10 10+ TI T CKK ET ETSS 41 4122 47711 699300 PNC BROADWAY WAY I N PIT PI TSBURGH ISS A PRESENTATION P N OF O F TTHE H E PI HE PITT T SB SBUR SBURGH BU CULTURAL TRUST TRUST,, PIT TSBURGH TS BURGH RGH GH S YMPHONY YMPHO PHO H AND NDD BBR OADWAY D WA DWAY WAY AY A CROSS AMERICA.

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and Emma Goldman, candy jars labeled “Mother Ireland’s Mixed Martyrs,” jars labeled “Strange Fruit,” Standing Rock water bottles and I Have a Dream pillows. Duffy offers satire as well as tributes to our heroes and martyrs. A display case contains small portraits, one of which is of Emmett Till. It is particularly compelling in light of the recent controversy surrounding Dana Schutz’s painting in the 2017 Whitney Biennial that is based on an image of Till in an open casket. The controversy brought heated discussion about who gets to speak for whom and how best to show empathy for the suffering of others. Duffy’s installation reminds us that we all need to bear witness, acknowledge each other’s sacrifices and find unity in our struggles. That shared sense of pain, suffering and loss is also present in Willie Doherty’s video “No Return.” Filmed in Braddock, it offers a bleak vision of a future ravaged by toxic pollutants. The dead zone represented here is a study in grays and reminiscent of The Zone in Andrei Tarkovsky’s film Stalker. The narrator in Doherty’s piece is at once witness and victim. He himself succumbs to the “perpetual twilight,” blurring and dissolving into a landscape of traces, shadows and memories. Each of the other works in the exhibition deals in some way with the fraught nature of wars and conflicts and the vulnerabilities of society and nationhood. Who wins, who loses? Who gets victimized or sacrificed? Who’s allowed in and who is left out? Locky Morris presents photographs of walls, one graffitied and one breached by fire, as a reminder that borders are not impervious. Ursula Burke’s Baroque-inspired embroideries reflect the fragility of governments, and her classically inspired marbles speak to the cruel consequences of empire. “Further Progress (Champagne and Argonne),” by Philip Napier, uses photographs of sites in France that commemorate the 28th Infantry Division’s Operations in World War I. His pieces, like Paul Seawright’s photographs, reference the sacrifices that soldiers make for their home countries and the great personal costs required for nationhood. While not directly about The Troubles in Northern Ireland, the work included in this exhibition is clearly informed by it. But not all of it is bleak. The lighthearted “Dionysos,” by John Kindness, a “deteriorating” fresco that depicts a small parade of figures made from images of meats and vegetables, reminds us that one of the truest expressions of identity is what and how we eat. Nations may come and go, but hunger is universal. Sharing food is one way to find common ground. INF O @PGH C IT YPAPE R . C O M

[EXHIBIT]

FORMS {BY BILL O’DRISCOLL}

Arthur Lubetz/Front Studios’ Glass Lofts, in Garfield {PHOTO COURTESY OF ED MASSERY}

SOLD OUT NOW EXTENDED THROUGH MAY 14!

Architect Arthur Lubetz is credited or co-credited with many Pittsburgh-area landmarks, including Garfield’s Glass Lofts and the wonderfully renovated Squirrel Hill branch of the Carnegie Library. But as I viewed Action, Ideas, Architecture: Arthur Lubetz and Front Studio, an exhibit at the Carnegie Museum of Art, a single photograph brought Lubetz’s genius into focus. It was a “before” image of 357 N. Craig St., a building I’d known only as Lubetz’s studio, in Oakland. That photo suggested the visionary bent of someone who could look at a squat, rundown two-story brick garage and see a striking postmodern landmark with a remarkably airy interior, filled by day with cats and architects. This exhibit, curated by Charles Rosenblum, a former employee of Lubetz’s (and an occasional CP contributor), marks Lubetz’s 50th year in the field by spotlighting a dozen projects. Pittsburgh native Lubetz, who studied at Carnegie Tech, is known for dramatic statements involving bright colors and transecting geometric forms: Think “red slab cutting through a building,” or a structure that suggests two different types of building slammed together to make something new. But the exhibit emphasizes that Lubetz’s work isn’t just showmanship. As Lubetz says in one video, he wants people to notice architecture. But he also wants landmarks that improve lives. For instance, at The Elms, a senior high-rise built in 1975, angled balconies visually connect the apartments to social spaces like an outdoor plaza, to reduce isolation. 1994’s Foundry Place, in Brighton Heights, with its striking “incomplete” brick façade, demonstrates that public housing merits more than utilitarian architecture. And the recent repurposing of a former restaurant as the Sharpsburg Community Library adds notable vibrancy to that Allegheny River town. Moreover, as Lubetz contends, making people notice architecture is good — a way to get us to consider and appreciate our built environment, rather than simply enduring it. Fanciful but functional examples like Squirrel Hill’s Dalzell House and Oakland’s Top Notch Art Supply (with its giant pencil) make that point, as does documentation for unbuilt visionary projects like a “floating” banquet room on a proposed hotel near The Andy Warhol Museum. I would have liked more information on Lubetz’s own influences. But as is, the exhibit ably demonstrates his assertion that architecture is best when treated as an art. DRISCOLL@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

ACTION, IDEAS, ARCHITECTURE continues through May 22. Carnegie Museum of Art, 4400 Forbes Ave., Oakland. 412-622-3131 or www.cmoa.org


“ Tantalizing...Seamless” Pittsburgh CrossCurrents

{PHOTO COURTESY OF LAURA SLOVESKO}

Left to right: Julia Boratto, Peter Joseph Kelly Stamerra and Lyric Bowman in The Perks of Being a Wallflower at Prime Stage

[PLAY REVIEWS]

PERKING ALONG {BY HARRY KLOMAN} THE PERKS of Being a Wallflower, on stage

courtesy of Prime Stage Theatre, owes a lot to its movie predecessor. Adapted by Hailey Rohn from Pittsburgh native Stephen Chbosky’s 1999 young-adult novel, this often-affecting stage version hews a little too closely at times to Chbosky’s 2012 film. And yet, Rohn’s cinematic structure sometimes helps to keep the by-nowfamiliar and self-consciously edifying material moving.

the wily and confident gay senior Patrick (Logan Shiller) and Patrick’s sage stepsister Sam (Julia Zoratto), who has an affinity for dating men rather than boys, thanks to a pre-teen initiation to sex. The elders bond with the wallflower waif, and life lessons get learned, reminding us once again that kids can be at once kind and cruel, and that kids in dramas always find a way to kiss and make up. Rohn’s collage of short scenes, punctuated now and then by a longer one, quickens the pace of James M. Cordell’s sometimes slow direction. The use of images projected onto an upstage screen allows the play to visualize the novel’s epistolary structure and even recreate the movie’s jubilant night ride through the Fort Pitt Tunnel. One does get the impression, though, that the only way to form friendships in high school is by drinking and taking drugs. True enough, I suppose. The three leading actors are all authentic high school students. Sam is the least well developed, and the affable Stamerra doesn’t fully inhabit Charlie’s necessary pathos. Shiller has the showiest role, and he handles it adroitly. The story takes place in 1991, and while it’s hard to imagine a gay kid being that out at that time, it’s nice to think that one such person like Patrick did exist to show his descendants the way.

AN OFTENAFFECTING STAGE VERSION HEWS TO THE 2012 FILM

THE PERKS OF BEING A WALLFLOWER continues through Sun., May 14. Prime Stage Theatre at the New Hazlett Theater, 6 Allegheny Square East, North Side. $5-25. www.primestage.org

The Pittsburgh-set story’s central figure is Charlie (Peter Joseph Kelley Stamerra), a soon-to-turn-16 high school freshman with no friends and no prospects of making any. He’s quiet and withdrawn, hoping to be a writer some day, and recovering from a bout of depression earned by too many tragedies for even a YA character. Soon he’s befriended by

www.attacktheatre.com/thenextstop The Next Stop is made possible in part by:

Individual gifts through the Commissioning Choreographers Campaign

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WORDS’ WORTH {BY STUART SHEPPARD} SIVE (RHYMES with “dive”) is the kind of play that bedevils New York critics. One recently called it “a clunky old melodrama” (sniff), and although it is indeed a simple tale, I suspect that its lack of vulgarity and profanity is really what prevents it from being cool in their eyes. This 1959 work by Irish dramatist John B. Keane (presented by PICT Classic Theatre) is about character and language — you know, those clunky old conventions that playwrights like Shakespeare used.

SIVE continues through May 20. Union Project, 801 N. Negley Ave., Highland Park. $15-50. 412-561-6000 or www.picttheatre.org

Set in 1950s rural Ireland, the plot involves a matchmaker trying to wed a young woman, Sive (Cassidy Adkins), to a grossly older man, Sean (Charles David Richards), and the effect this has on their small, intrusive community. Karen Baum is superb as Sive’s conniving aunt Mena. Her acting is powerful, and her stagecraft meticulous (the way she prepares a loaf of bread for baking would make Julia Child jealous). And even with the muddy acoustics of

the Union Project space, the elocution of Baum’s dialect gives cut and edge to every syllable of Keane’s rustic, poetic dialogue (“Tomorrow is to come yet. Take care”). The relentless matchmaker Tomasheen (James FitzGerald) manipulates Sive’s family like an anxious hyena anticipating his next meal. FitzGerald portrays him with a delicious mixture of eccentricity, greed and madness. Tom Driscoll, as Sive’s true love, Liam, doesn’t overplay the sad earnestness of this part, while Martin Giles as Pats the tinker brings gravity to a role which most actors would inflate with cliché. Sharon Brady as Nanna, Sive’s grandmother, is also strong. Director Alan Stanford excels at this form of theater, never getting in the way of the text, and helping his cast create characters of original interpretation. Although the utilization of a profile stage arrangement worked well for PICT’s recent Oedipus Rex (the audience serving as a kind of ghostly extension of the chorus), seeing half the brightly lit house staring back at you diminishes the intimacy of a play ostensibly cloistered in one small room. But if you love great acting and language, go see Sive. Just don’t invite your hipster friends from New York.

EPISODES {BY TED HOOVER} IN THE program bio for his play Hercu-

les Didn’t Wade in the Water (now at Pittsburgh Playwrights Theatre Company), playwright and former Pittsburgher Michael A. Jones talks movingly about Hurricane Katrina, and places that nightmare squarely in the history of the cruel displacement black men and women have faced for at least the past 400 years. It’s vital we never be allowed to forget what happened in New Orleans — and America — in 2005, and Jones’ play looked as though it would confront that memory head on. Except that it really didn’t. Hercules opens with two men, Tupelo and Youngblood, trapped on the roof of a house as rescue helicopters buzz past. We quickly leave them, however, and travel back a year to Chicago, where we meet Tupelo and his girlfriend, Char, and their friends Maxine and Eugene. It’s these four we follow through the course of this 65-minute one-act play, only occasionally returning to New Orleans and the storm. Jones has written a relationship play as the four navigate the various perils of

DIRECTOR ALAN STANFORD EXCELS AT THIS FORM OF THEATER.

I N F O @PGH C IT YPAPE R . C O M

coupledom. And while I certainly don’t mean to downplay their problems, Jones must know that nothing they’re going through is even one-tenth of 1 percent as dramatically compelling as a hurricane, specifically the lethal inaction of the Bush administration during Katrina. Ultimately, I think, Jones has actually written a TV script: the plentiful short, simple scenes, numerous locations and feel-good happy ending. Writing for TV isn’t a bad thing; it’s just that theater’s scope is wider than Jones, at least with Hercules, is prepared to utilize.

HERCULES DIDN’T WADE IN THE WATER continues through May 21. Pittsburgh Playwrights Theatre, 937 Liberty Ave., Downtown. $22.50. www.pghplaywrights.org

Director Wali Jamal keeps the pace within the scenes moving, but the repetitive black-outs after each scene only highlight the episodic, televisual nature of the script. Jamal works exceptionally well getting strong performances from his cast, with Sam Lothard and Lamar K. Cheston creating a rock-solid sense of friendship as Tupelo and Youngblood. Shaun Nicole McCarthy portrays Char as the warm heart of the play, and when given a chance to be vicious, Shanita Bivins and Corey Lankford, as Maxine and Eugene, are delightfully nasty. I N F O@ P G H C I T Y PA P E R. C OM

M C KEESPORT LITTLE THEATER PRESENTS...

by Cole Porter

MAY 12, 13, 14, 19, 20, 21, 2017

Friday y an and Saturday S performances 8p m ; Sunday Su at 8p.m.; matinees at 2p.m.

TICKETS ARE $18.00, $12.00 FOR STUDENTS - GROUP RATES AVAILABLE. HANDICAPPED ACCESSIBLE.

1614 COURSIN STREET • McKEESPORT • (412) 673-1100 FOR RESERVATIONS VISIT OUR WEBSITE AT WWW.MCKEESPORTLITTLETHEATER.COM

FINAL DAYS! ENDS MAY 14 FREE ADMISSION

Peter Paul Rubens, Portrait of Charlotte-Marguerite de Montmorency, Princess of Condé (detail), c. 1610. Oil on canvas, Frick Art & Historical Center.

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THEFRICKPITTSBURGH.ORG 412-371-0600


FOR THE WEEK OF

FreeEvent

05.11-05.18.17 Full events listed online at www.pghcitypaper.com

John Edgar Wideman published his debut novel in 1967. It was the first step in a career that’s earned the author, essayist and memoirist two PEN/Faulkner awards for fiction and a MacArthur “genius” grant, among other honors. And the Homewood native, 75, isn’t done yet. His visit to Pittsburgh this week, for an evening of readings and performances marking his half-century as an author, comes after publication of his 2016 book Writing to Save A Life: The Louis Till File.

{PHOTO COURTESY OF EMMAI ALAQUIVA}

The book mixes nonfiction and fiction to explore the life (and death by U.S. Army court martial) of the father of Emmett Till, the 14-year-old Chicago boy infamously lynched in Mississippi in 1955. “As an African-American kid who was precisely the same age, I’ve been forced to revisit the Till murder my entire life,” says Wideman by phone from his home in New York City. “Part of the reason for writing the book … was that I felt that I had done something that I shouldn’t have in forgetting that Emmett Till had had a father.” The book, he says, probes the historical disconnect between black fathers and sons. Wideman, whose best-known books include such Pittsburgh-set works as Brothers and Keepers (about his younger brother, who is serving a life sentence for murder) and The Homewood Trilogy, still considers Pittsburgh home. On May 13, he’ll be feted at a Duquesne Universitysponsored event that includes readings from his work, dance performances and more. The John Edgar Wideman Experience Reception takes place at the August Wilson Center. Wideman met Wilson himself just once, at a party in New York City, where they shared a three-hour conversation. “This was a conversation that should have been going on for years, but it didn’t happen until that night,” Wideman says of his Pulitzer Prize-winning Pittsburgh-born contemporary. “We got our moment. And it was a powerful moment, and I wish we would have had more.”

{ART (DETAIL) BY MILDRED SIDOROW}

^ Sat., May 13: 98 Reasons

thursday 05.11 WORDS Pittsburgh Arts & Lectures hosts Amor Towles for a talk and book-signing. This American author made a name with his respective novels Rules in Civility and A Gentleman in Moscow; his novella Eve in Hollywood concerns a rich Russian man’s house arrest in a swanky hotel. NPR critic Annalisa Quinn calls it “a winning, stylish novel that keeps things easy.” Towles speaks at the Carnegie Library Lecture Hall tonight. Matt Petras 7 p.m. 4400 Forbes Ave., Oakland. $10. 412-622-8866 or www.pittsburghlectures.org

5:30-7 p.m.; reception follows. 980 Liberty Ave., Downtown. Free. johnedgarwidemanexperience@gmail.com +

friday 05.12 MARKETPLACE

Phipps Conservatory and Botanical Garden’s May Market returns for its 81st year. On Phipps’ front lawn, all day today and Saturday, peruse green- and SCREEN green-thumb-themed home and Give us your tired, your garden merchandise. Garden poor … your home movies clubs, nurseries, farms and other and industrial training videos local vendors will offer everything and other VHS castoffs ^ Thu., May 11: Found Footage Festival from organic herbs and salvaged from garage sales, vegetable seedlings, tropical thrift stores and dumpsters. plants, perennials, and native and rain-garden plants to There you have the Found Footage Festival. organic gardening resources and natural body-care products; Tonight, the touring institution hits the Regent Square Phipps staff and master gardeners will be on hand to offer Theater with its 2017 edition, featuring choice finds advice. BO 9 a.m.-7 p.m. Also 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Sat., May 13. One like a collection of satanic-panic videos from the 1980s, Schenley Drive, Oakland. Free. www.phipps.conservatory.org including “The Law Enforcement Guide to Satanic Cults.”

BY BILL O’DRISCOLL

NEWS

Hosts Nick Prueher and Joe Pickett contribute their own video prank, in which they posed as a strongman duo on local morning-news shows. Pickett has worked for The Onion, and Prueher for The Late Show with David Letterman — whose famous host donated his own VHS collection, selections of which will also be screened. Bill O’Driscoll 8 p.m. 1035 S. Braddock Ave., Edgewood. $12. www.foundfootagefest.com

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^ Fri., May 12: Morose & Macabre’s Atrocity Exhibition

OPERA Verdi’s final opera, Falstaff, is staged this weekend courtesy of Resonance Works Pittsburgh. The comic work, in which Shakespeare’s corpulent knight attempts to seduce a pair of wealthy women, will be performed in the Charity Randall Theater tonight and Sunday. This co-production with Pitt’s Department of Theater Arts features nationally recognized talents including, in the title role, Benjamin Bloomfield (pictured), making his Pittsburgh debut, backed by the Resonance Chamber Orchestra. BO 8 p.m. Also 3 p.m. Sun., May 14. 4301 Forbes Ave., Oakland. $15-45. www.resonanceworks.org

STAGE This year, its ninth, Morose & Macabre’s Atrocity Exhibition escorts you to hell — twice. The annual showcase of nationally known, dark-themed sideshow, burlesque and cabaret acts expands to two nights at the Rex Theater, tonight and Saturday. Inferno retells Dante’s “Divine Comedy” in a 1930s setting where a corrupt preacher meets a demonic elevator operator and plenty of monsters. Performers ^ Fri., May 12: Falstaff include such local talents as Lilith Deville and The Mad Muse, and visitors like Detroit-based Satori Circus (pictured); Long Beach, Calif.’s Rasputin’s Marionettes; New Orleans’ Vinsantos; and New York’s Dangrrr Doll. A bazaar for artists and artisans supplements the 21-and-over fun; getting tickets in advance is advisable. BO 10 p.m. (doors at 9 p.m.). Also 10 p.m. Sat., May 13. 1602 E. Carson St., South Side. $20-35 (weekend pass: $35-60). www.moroseandmacabre.com

saturday 05.13 STAGE

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The Polish-immigrant cleaning woman in Ironbound isn’t comic relief, nor is she there to sagely advise the play’s hero; rather, in Martyna Majok’s 2016 drama, Darja herself is the protagonist, struggling to make ends meet, find love, or simply


EVERYONE IS A CRITIC EVENT: States of Flux opening reception, Pittsburgh Glass Center, Friendship CRITIC: Elexis Reynolds, 49, an insurance-company employee from East Liberty WHEN: Fri.,

May 05

My friend invited me and I’ve just been in the neighborhood for I don’t know how many years, and this is my first time ever coming in. [This event is] colorful, fascinating and interesting. I didn’t know you could do so many interesting things with glass. [The pieces I could touch were] very light, airy: hard to believe it’s glass. I didn’t know you could use glass in that type of art form. I really loved it, I’m glad I came. [The atmosphere] was very joyful, everyone was very friendly. The springy-looking glass pieces, they reminded me of my childhood, when I played with Spirograph. Spirograph was like an art kit, you had to use a pen and a wheel, and you stuck the pen into the little [groove], and you spun it around and around. So I think that’s what intrigued me about that, it reminded me of Spirograph, with glass. B Y MAT T PE T R AS

catch a bus in working-class Newark, N.J. City Theatre has the Pittsburgh premiere of this critically acclaimed play. The production, directed by Tracy Brigden, stars City favorite Rebecca Harris. The first performance is tonight. BO 5:30 p.m. Continues through June 4. 1300 Bingham St., South Side. $15-59. 412-431-2489 or www.citytheatrecompany.org

ART Mildred Sidorow was born in 1918, in Johnstown. A few decades later, she started painting, and at age 98 she’s still at it. Tonight, Percolate: Art Space, Gallery and Creative Laboratory opens 98 Reasons, a show of Sidorow’s work dating to the 1960s. From her early watercolors to current works, mostly in acrylics, Sidorow favors bright colors and abstract takes on cityscapes and figures. BO 6 p.m. (free). Exhibit continues through June 1. 317 S. Trenton Ave., Wilkinsburg. www.purplepierotti.com

monday 05.15 FESTIVAL Remake Learning Days calls itself the “world’s largest open house for the future of learning.” The 12-day festival promoting innovative, hands-on, and often technology-infused education kicks off today with a free drop-in event at PNC Park. The afternoon, featuring dozens of hands-on activities and light refreshments, heralds some ^ Sat., May 13: Ironbound 350 events highlighting making, arts, tech, science, outdoor learning and more, at schools, libraries, museums and other venues. See the website for a complete schedule. BO Kick-off: 3-6 p.m. (PNC Park, 115 Federal St., North Side; free). Festival continues through May 26 at various venues. www.remakelearningdays.org

TALK Julie Lekstrom Himes is generating buzz for her debut novel, Mikhail and Margarita (Europa Editions), with glowing reviews and a NPR interview. The book revisits the life of revered Russian novelist Mikhail Bulgakov in 1933, as he CONTINUES ON PG. 38

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[DAILY RUNDOWN]

{PHOTO COURTESY OF CHRIS ROCK}

^ Tue., May 16: Chris Rock

struggles for freedom under Stalin’s regime and is inspired to write his anti-authoritarian masterpiece The Master and Margarita. City of Asylum hosts the Massachusetts-based Himes in conversation with Karla Boos, whose Quantum Theatre recently staged Collaborators, a play depicting the relationship between Bulgakov and Stalin. A Q&A and book-signing follows this Alphabet City event. BO 8 p.m. 40 W. North Ave., North Side. Free. RSVP at www.alphabetcity.org.

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tuesday 05.16 COMEDY Comedy rock star Chris Rock comes to the Benedum Center for three nights as part of his Total Blackout tour. While many know Rock for punchy, outrageous bits and silly acting roles from movies like the animated Madagascar, Rock’s latest standup routine features more introspective material. New York Times critic Jason Zinoman ^ Mon., May 15: Julie Lekstrom Himes wrote, “In his new set, Mr. Rock appeared to be after something more than laughs.” Some seat prices are in limited supply or no longer available. MP 8 p.m. Also 8 p.m. Wed., May 17, and 8 p.m. Thu., May 18. 237 Seventh St., Downtown. $49.50-$125 (VIP: $203-443). 412-456-6666 or www.trustarts.org

thursday 05.18 WORDS After David McCullough, there can’t be many popular historians who grew up in Pittsburgh with a higher profile than Nathaniel Philbrick. The Taylor Allderdice grad made his name with works like Mayflower, The Last Stand and the National Book Award-winning In the Heart of the Sea. His 2016 book Valiant Ambition — about the middle years of the American Revolution, and the relationship between George Washington and Benedict Arnold — is new in paperback. Tonight, Philbrick makes an appearance at Penguin Bookshop. Your ticket is the in-store purchase of any Philbrick tome. But seating is limited, so call ahead to reserve. BO 6:30 p.m. 417 Beaver St., Sewickley. 412-741-3838 or www.penguinbookshop.com


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THE DEPTH OF THE MENU REWARDED OUR CURIOSITY

MORE BACON Last year, when Huszar restaurant launched its traditional Hungarian Bacon Roast, owners Judy and Michael Torma hoped for 50 guests. They underestimated the power of bacon (and community): Some 200 folks showed, with others turned away at the door. This year, they’re adding a fire pit to last year’s battery of three, but you still should probably get tickets early for this sociable throwback to old-country village tradition. Participants use wooden skewers to roast slab bacon over wood-fired openair fire pits in a small gravel lot by the North Side restaurant, and eat the crispy cured meat on fresh sourdough bread with peppers, onions and tomatoes. The $35 ticket ($25 without alcohol) includes a shot of plum brandy, a bottle of Karlovacko beer, dessert and live music by the Gypsy Strings, Huszar’s four-piece house band, playing traditional tunes. Judy Torma, born in Pittsburgh to Hungarian-refugee parents, met Michael Torma in 1986 in his native Hungary, where she was studying folk dance. In 2015, after her parents died, the Tormas took over the bar her dad had long operated. A new menu with authentic favorites like chicken paprikás debuted this past fall. The couple says the bacon roasts (szalona sutes), with their picnic atmosphere, draw folks of Hungarian descent as well as “people who just love bacon.” The 2017 roast runs 4:30-8:30 p.m. Sat., May 20. DRISCOLL@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

627 E. North Ave. 412-322-8795 or www.huszarpittsburgh.com

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Forget ye not! ot! Sun., May 14, is Mother’s Day. If you’re doing brunch runch at a restaurant, t make k reservations early. And gift-wise, not all moms want candy: Fill a basket with exotic spices, craft beers or fancy jams and jellies.

Roasting bacon

{BY BILL O’DRISCOLL}

{CP PHOTO BY VANESSA SONG}

Pineapple curry stir-fried white rice with ham and bell peppers

MORE THAN THAI {BY ANGELIQUE BAMBERG + JASON ROTH}

S

USHI FIRST became widely available

in the United States in the 1980s. Over subsequent decades, sushi traveled from shocking to status as a staple of various Asian restaurant menus, where it varied in quality. Some Thai menus include a sushi section. We generally don’t hold very high hopes for “afterthought sushi,” but in Mount Lebanon, a new restaurant apM peared to take a more intentional approach. Umai — a Japanese word meaning “good” or “delicious” — caught our eye by offering ffresh fish for sale, market-style, complete with a display case in the window. Inside, w tthere’s a raw bar with various East and West Coast oysters, and an emphasis on cooked foods from both Thailand and Japan. On a Tuesday evening, there was also live music from a solo guitarist. Umai’s

saffron-colored interior blends traditional Asian elements, like bamboo, lanterns and a painting of cherry blossoms, with modern touches like the room-spanning silver arches and color-shifting bar lighting.

UMAI 297 Beverly Road, Mount Lebanon. 412-344-7874 HOURS: Tue.-Thu. 11:30 a.m.-9:30 p.m.; Fri.-Sat. noon-10 p.m.; Sun. noon-9:30 p.m. PRICES: $5-22 LIQUOR: Full bar

CP APPROVED The depth of the menu rewarded our curiosity. In addition to the obligatory specialty rolls and curries, we found Tokyo steamed fish (red snapper with daikon, lotus, ginger and more), ceviche, poke,

robatayaki, and tofu fried in both Japanese and Thai styles. One thing was a given from the get-go: We’d be trying the larb tuna. Larb (or laab) is a Thai salad with protein dressed in a vibrant chili-lime sauce and tossed with herbs and onions atop a bed of lettuce. We commonly see it with minced pork or chicken, but never before with raw fish. Having tried it, we love it. The citrusy dressing — not unlike ceviche, in fact — was wonderful with the chunks of deep red tuna, and the meaty fish was a perfect foil to the aromatic herbs and juicy lettuce. Our only quibble is that we missed one of the signature elements of larb — ground, toasted rice — whose slightly nutty flavor and hint of crunchy texture are a favorite component of this salad’s traditional preparation. CONTINUES ON PG. 40

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Sushi Kim

MORE THAN THAI, CONTINUED FROM PG. 39

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05.10/05.17.2017

WE CATER!

Umai offers three robatayaki: a trio of skewered vegetables, a trio of meat and a trio of seafood. Shishito and kabocha in the first were appealing, but the combo of enoki and bacon in the second won out. Little bundles of enoki — those skinny white mushrooms with the miniature caps — inside bacon rolls soaked up the basting sauce while providing a supple texture. Chicken breast with onion was straightforwardly delicious with the dipping sauce, a thick, slightly nutty concoction, while thick slabs of pork belly offered up umami flavor. s The T price — $6-8 per trio — was extraordinary for how much flavor and variety each n one o offers. The sushi was more ordinary. The tuna was w pretty good, but salmon was too soft to distinguish itself from the avocado it was d paired with, and the rice tended toward p the t gummy. But both maki we tried were inside-out, and we liked that the exteriors were just lightly coated in sesame and roe, more like seasonings than ingredients. Our son is a big fan of mild, peanutty masaman curry, full of chunks of chicken, potato, onion and carrot. He liked Umai’s version enough to want the recipe for the sauce, which was sweeter than the one we make at home. Thai crispy fried tofu — pillowy triangles whose coating lived up to its name — came with a sweet-sour sauce that was also well above takeout grade. Better yet was Jason’s spicy pad ka pro, which combined a peppery basil stir-fry with a tower of rice topped with a fried egg. He might have liked a dippier egg, the better to soak into the rice, but the dish was still fantastic. It had plenty of heat, but also sweetness, plus that egg-enriched rice as ballast. The ground pork took to the flavors of the sauce superbly, holding together in smaller or larger crumbles that made for a satisfying variety of bites. Angelique loves tom yum soup and often orders a cup of it at the beginning of a Thai meal. Seeing that Umai offers tom yum as a meal-size noodle bowl, she couldn’t resist. The broth, aromatic with cilantro, scallions, Thai chilis and lemongrass, seemed to have been fortified with a splash of coconut milk. A skein of rice noodles and plenty of sliced chicken breast made this substantial enough for two meals. Incidentally, we were never asked for a spice level, but everybody was happy with what arrived. The numeric heat scale always implies, to us, that the chef is dumping in chili at the last second, and Umai showed us just how well a good kitchen can do without it. At the end of our meal, the owner dropped by to say good evening. Her warm, engaging welcome brought a personable close to a delightful meal. INF O @PGH C IT YPAPE R . C O M

[PERSONAL CHEF]

RHUBARB CAKE {BY AL HOFF} Rhubarb is a late-spring delight. A lot of people think they don’t like it because it’s too sour, or because it turns a weird, sickly brownish-green color when cooked. Those people have not had this rhubarb cake — a sublime meld of sweet and tangy, mellowed with warm spices. It’s a humble one-layer cake that makes a good accompaniment for tea or coffee. Make it fancy by serving it warm, topped with vanilla ice cream (or whipped cream) and a sprig of mint (or some other nice edible leaf). Or eat it, as I do, out of the pan for breakfast; it’s got fruit in it. The large quantity of rhubarb keeps it moist, so this is a good cake to stretch out over a couple of days, should you be the sort of steadfast person who can keep a cake for more than a day. The “cooking” couldn’t be more basic — standard ingredients and no complicated techniques. In fact, this onebowl cake is so easy that I once made it with a broken arm, using only my right hand and left elbow.

INGREDIENTS • 2 cups flour • 1½ cups sugar • 2 tsp. baking powder • 1 tsp. salt • 1 tsp. ground cinnamon • ½ tsp. ground nutmeg • ¼ tsp. ground cloves • 3 eggs (at room temperature) • ½ cup butter, melted and cooled • ¼ cup milk • 1 tsp. vanilla extract • 3 cups (about 5 good-sized stalks) rhubarb, finely chopped • Optional: 1 cup of chopped walnuts • Optional: turbinado, demerara or “raw” sugar for garnish INSTRUCTIONS Pre-heat oven to 350 F degrees. Grease a 13-by-9-inch pan. In a large bowl, whisk flour, sugar, baking powder, salt, cinnamon, nutmeg and cloves together. Add eggs, butter, milk and vanilla to the bowl. Mix at low-medium speed until blended. Scrape side of bowl, and mix for another minute. Stir in rhubarb and nuts (if using). Pour batter into pan. Sprinkle with turbinado sugar, for a top with more crackle; white sugar can pinch-hit here. Bake for 45-50 minutes, or until toothpick comes out clean. AHOFF@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

WE WANT YOUR PERSONAL RECIPES AND THE STORIES BEHIND THEM. EMAIL THEM TO CELINE@PGHCITYPAPER.COM.


The 5th Judicial District of Pennsylvania and Allegheny County Pretrial Services urges you {PHOTO COURTESY OF CITY BREW TOURS}

Barry Hansen leads a tour for City Brew Tours.

[ON THE ROCKS]

to enjoy your weekend out in Pittsburgh but

make the right choice,

BEERS HERE New brewery-tours outfit comes to town {BY CELINE ROBERTS} A NEW-TO-TOWN company invites Pittsbur-

ghers to see their city through rosy-colored beer goggles. City Brew Tours, a company with locations in Boston, Washington, D.C., Baltimore, Burlington, Vt., and Philadelphia opened here in late April. Chad Brodsky, the owner and founder, started giving tours in Burlington when he was in his senior year at the University of Vermont. “I’d show up downtown in the pedestrian mall wearing lederhosen and asking who wanted a tour of the breweries,” he says, cracking a smile before adding wistfully: “Nobody wants to wear lederhosen anymore.” The tours were successful and soon he started looking for a bigger market. In 2012, he opened City Brew Tours in Boston. “It hadn’t been done really,” he says, recognizing the boom in breweries and tours in the past five years. Pittsburgh is the company’s latest location, and Brodsky is very excited to be in a town that clearly loves its beer.

CITY BREW TOURS 412-419-2337 or www.citybrewtours.com

City Brew Tours offers three styles of tours for the beer enthusiast: The Original Brew Tour, The After Hours Brew Tour and custom private tours. The Original Brew Tour lasts five hours and includes three or four brewery stops at local favorites. Currently, the list includes Aurochs Brewing Company, Hitchhiker Brewing Company, Couch Brewery, Penn Brewery, Draai Laag Brewing, Allegheny City Brewing, Grist House Craft Brewery, Hop

Farm Brewing Company and Spoonwood Brewing Company. City Brew is hoping to establish more partnerships. Each tour includes a tasting and analysis of more than 15 beers, as well as lunch or dinner at a beer-centric eatery, complete with food and beer pairings. Don’t worry about a designated driver. City Brew Tours has round-trip transportation covered by your driver and beer-expert tour guide. In my case, that was Barry Hansen, the chief operating officer of City Brew Tours, and himself a former brewer. Throughout the tour, my group received running commentary from Hansen about beer history, with a little trivia added in. During a three-hour media tour, and with a lot of humor, he managed to cover everything from Mesopotamia (the birthplace of beer) to colonial America, all while keeping the conversation going between the passengers. At each brewery stop, we swilled beers and compared opinions along with getting a little brewery history from the people who worked there. (Fun fact: At the Hop Farm stop, we learned that the lime basil for its excellent lime-basil saison is grown on the brewery’s own five-acre property.) City Brew Tours’ goal is to give two tours a day, every day. But for now, Hansen is working on learning more about the market and training local hires to be expert beer guides. “Baltimore was a great market immediately. It seems like Pittsburgh might be the same way,” says Brodsky, as the group talks about the similarities between the two towns. At the moment, tours are given Wednesday through Sunday, or you can curate a private tour. CELI NE @PGH C IT YPAPE R . C O M

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don’t drink & drive. Celebrate the best sandwiches at the best Northside restaurants and pubs! Sample signature sandwiches at participating restaurants all week long.

TICKETS ON SALE NOW! PARTICIPATING RESTAURANTS Atria’s Restaurant Casellula Chateau Cafe & Cakery Hog’s Head Bar and Grill James Street Gastropub Legends of the North Shore Max’s Allegheny Tavern Penn Brewery Rivers Casino Scratch F & B Southern Tier Brewing Co. Young Brother’s Bar

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BOOZE BATTLES {BY CELINE ROBERTS}

Each week, we order the same cocktail at two different bars for a friendly head-to-head battle. Go to the bars, taste both drinks and tell us what you like about each by tagging @pghcitypaper on Twitter or Instagram and use #CPBoozeBattles. If you want to be a part of Booze Battles, send an email to food-and-beverage writer Celine Roberts, at celine@pghcitypaper.com.

THE DRINK: A SPRING SPRITZ

VS.

What have you always wanted to know about Pittsburgh?

“WHY DOES PITTSBURGH HAVE AN H IN IT?” “IS A PARKING-SPOT CHAIR LEGALLY BINDING?” “WHAT IS SLIPPY?”

Talia Cucina & Rosticceria

Bar Marco

425 Sixth Ave., Downtown

2216 Penn Ave., Strip District

DRINK: Braulio Spritz INGREDIENTS: Soave, Braulio, prosecco, orange wedge OUR TAKE: This is a very wine-forward spritz with strong floral and citrus notes. The Braulio brings a necessary bitter element to an otherwise light and sweet sipper.

DRINK: Aperol Spritz INGREDIENTS: Aperol, Cappelletti, sparkling wine, San Pellegrino, orange peel OUR TAKE: Medium-sized bubbles and their pleasant carbonation bring lift and fun to this light, bright cocktail. In this classic spritz, the amari bring bitterness to a fruity flavor palate, bursting with cherry and orange.

Mike Wysocki has the answers. (well...sorta)

SUBMIT YOUR PITTSBURGH QUESTIONS AT PGHCITYPAPER.COM

This week on Sound Bite: Justin Lubecki seeks to capture Western Pennsylvania terroir in the humble vehicle of a bagel. www.pghcitypaper.com

One Bordeaux, One Scotch, One Beer Vienna Lager, Devils Backbone Brewing Company $5.50/pint New to the Pittsburgh market, this brewing company produces beers that are used for the style guidelines at both The Great American Beer Festival and the World Beer Cup. The Vienna Lager is no exception, with its beautiful ruby color and malty, slightly caramel notes. RECOMMENDED BY CELINE ROBERTS

Add us by snapcode or search by username PGHCITYPAPER 42

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER

05.10/05.17.2017

Vienna Lager is available at Urban Tap, in the South Side, and The Sharp Edge, Downtown, among other locations.


AUGUST HENRY’S BENJAMIN’S BURGER BAR BLOCK 292 BRGR BURGATORY BURGH’ERS CAIN’S SALOON THE COMMONER DOROTHY 6 BLAST FURNACE CAFE EASE: MODERN COMFORT CUISINE THE FOUNDRY TABLE & TAP HARD ROCK CAFE HONEST JOHN’S THE MODERN CAFE OVER THE BAR BICYCLE CAFE PIG IRON PUBLIC HOUSE PITTSBURGH STEAK COMPANY SHARP EDGE SOCIAL STACK’D STATION SUNNY JIM’S TESSARO’S

MAY 15-21

CUSTOM BURGERS ALL WEEK LONG www.pghburgerweek.com #pghburgerweek NEWS

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OUTER SPACE IS NO RESPITE FROM FAMILY DRAMAS

CITY LIFE {BY AL HOFF} “Cities have the capability of providing something for everybody, only because, and only when, they are created by everybody,” wrote Jane Jacobs, in The Death and Life of Great American Cities, her 1961 study of how cities and their denizens function. If you haven’t read Jacobs’ influential book, you should, but in the interim, Matt Tyrnauer’s documentary provides a good introduction. It offers a précis of Jacob’s insights on vital street life and how cities

Jane Jacobs, in action

CP APPROVED

foster organic growth and opportunity, as well as outlining her defining battles in New York City against proposed developments that favored automobiles over people. The film also lays out the larger socio-economic, political and cultural issues that fueled the drastic mid-century changes to American cities, such as slum clearance, freeways, public housing, and skyscrapers centered in acres of concrete. In New York City, Jacobs clashed with Robert Moses, who oversaw the city’s re-development projects. It became personal when the city proposed extending Fifth Avenue through Washington Square Park — a lively meeting place for students, artists, tourists and nearby residents, which included Jacobs and her young family. Encapsulated here are the tragedies — vibrant neighborhoods destroyed, the construction of high-rise public-housing projects — and successes. Jacobs’ writings changed minds — and helped curtail poor developments — everywhere. Today, we acknowledge those past mistakes — locally, see the Hill District or highways bisecting the North Side — and even work to correct them. We’ve torn down failed housing projects, in part, because we learned that Jacobs was right about how socially destructive it was to isolate people from street life. And yet, how timely this film is, because the underlying issues and conflicts presented here never go away — whether it is the general frustration of the little guy fighting back against seemingly intractable corporate interests (David can beat Goliath), or conflicts specific to urban development. New highways, bike lanes, surface parking lots, mixed-use development, sidewalk cafes, affordable housing: Everything we argue about today has direct callbacks to the concerns Jacobs raised more than 50 years ago. Starts Fri., May 12. Regent Square

Checking in: Gamora (Zoe Saldana), Peter Quill (Chris Pratt), Baby Groot, Drax (Dave Bautista) and Rocket

BACK IN THE MIX {BY AL HOFF}

T

HREE YEARS ago, Guardians of the

Galaxy Vol. 1, featuring the exploits of some lesser-known Marvel characters, was a bona fide summer hit. So, as sure as space is infinite and contains many fans of comic-book movies, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 has completed its orbit through Marvel’s and Disney’s executive offices and arrived here on Earth. James Gunn’s 2014 film was a comedic action-adventure that combined a simple quest with goofy characters, gags and cheesy 1970s pop songs. It was a space epic that cheerfully shrugged “whatever.” That remains a fair description of Vol. 2, though everything now feels slightly less fresh and decidedly more calculated. For instance, the tossed-off nature of Vol. 1 wouldn’t have bothered with such formulaic elements as a very special emotional journey or a superlong CGI blast-o-rama, both of which burden the final reel of Vol. 2. If you loved Vol. 1, you’ll probably like Vol. 2. Conversely, if you liked Vol. 1, but thought it needed more tears and exploding planets, you’ll love Vol. 2.

AHOFF@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

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We reunite with our ragtag crew — spaceship pilot Peter Quill (Chris Pratt), assassin Gamora (Zoe Saldana), muscleman Drax (Dave Bautista) and a talking raccoon named Rocket (voice of Bradley Cooper) — while they are deep in a battle to protect some expensive batteries from a gigantic octopus. Or something. It doesn’t really

GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL. 2 DIRECTED BY: James Gunn STARRING: Chris Pratt, Kurt Russell, Zoe Saldana, Michael Rooker In 3-D in select theaters

matter, because (1) obviously the stars of the movie will triumph in this opening battle; and (2) while the adults fight ginormous tentacles of death, everybody in the theater is busy watching Baby Groot — a tiny anthropomorphic tree — shake his wee twigs to ELO’s “Mr. Blue Sky.” The primary narrative concerns Quill

reuniting with his previously unknown bio-dad, who turns out to be an upbeat, attractively human-shaped non-human called Ego (Kurt Russell). Ego has his own planet — naturally — and it’s got a certain relaxing Maxfield Parrish vibe. It all adds up to be too good to be true. And because outer space is no respite from family dramas, Quill’s adoptive father, the cranky ravager Yondu (Michael Rooker1), also has something to say. There are a couple of other subplots that double down on “we are family,” and some set-up involving a planet of gold people that will undoubtedly drive Vol. 3. (There are five teaser scenes during the end credits and two Stan Lee cameos.) But fans should get their money’s worth with an assortment of jokes, special effects and lots of Baby Groot. And silly love songs. The film’s title references the second mixtape that Quill’s mom left him, and it’s the source of the film’s 1970s tunes. Tolerance for this gimmick may vary, but there is no corner of the universe in which Glen Campbell’s “Southern Nights” adds any cachet. A H OF F @ P G HC I T Y PA P E R. C OM


FUNNY FACE. Audrey Hepburn and Fred Astaire star in Stanley Donen’s 1957 musical comedy about a New York City shop clerk who winds up being a fashion model in Paris. May 12-18. Row House Cinema

FILM CAPSULES CP

= CITY PAPER APPROVED

SINGIN’ IN THE RAIN. Hollywood’s transition from silent film to talkies is lovingly skewered in this rousing musical from Stanley Donen. The 1952 film stars Debbie Reynolds, Donald O’Connor, Pittsburgh’s own Gene Kelly and a very important lamppost. May 12-18. Row House Cinema

NEW KING ARTHUR: LEGEND OF THE SWORD. Guy Ritchie directs this tale of the poor Englishman who, after pulling a sword from a stone, learns that he is really a king. Charlie Hunnam and Jude Law star. Starts Fri., May 12 RISK. Documentarian Laura Poitras (Citizenfour) profiles WikiLeak’s Julian Assange. The work was filmed over six years, during which time the controversial Assange has been ensconced in the Ecuadorian embassy in London. Starts Fri., May 12. Hollywood

THE WIZARD OF OZ. If your viewings of Victor Fleming’s 1939 musical film have been via TV only, you owe it to yourself (and any young ’uns) to see this beloved family classic on the big screen. Join Dorothy (Judy Garland) and her little dog, too, on their unforgettable Technicolor journey to the Land of Oz — a wondrous place that, ultimately, isn’t quite as wonderful as Kansas. May 12-18. Row House Cinema

SNATCHED. Amy Schumer and Goldie Hawn star in this comedy about a mother-daughter vacation that goes horribly wrong. Jonathan Levine directs. Starts Fri., May 12

DARK SIDE OF OZ. Watch The Wizard of Oz while Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon plays, and have your mind blown by the synchronicity. Midnight, Fri., May 12, and midnight, Sat., May 13. Row House Cinema

THE WALL. If you like movies about war and soldiers — specifically those that lean more toward psychological thriller than action — you should see this one sooner than later. The less you know about Doug Liman’s drama going in, the more intriguing it will be — especially since there isn’t that much plot. We begin in some remote part of Iraq, in 2007, where two U.S. Army servicemen — Sgt. Isaac (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) and Staff Sgt. Shane Matthews (John Cena) are hunkered down on a dusty hillside, armed with sniper rifles and high-powered binoculars. They’ve been there for a day, patiently watching an area below them. It is the site of a pipeline construction — now halted as half-a-dozen subcontractors lie dead on the ground. The workers appear to have been shot in the head, suggesting the work of a trained sniper, who may or may not still be on the scene. Isaac and Matthews suspect that such a gunman is holed up behind the low crumbling wall near the pipeline. Frustrated with the fruitless surveillance operation, they head down off the hill to investigate. And … there is indeed a hidden sniper. After this short set-up, the film settles into a cat-and-mouse drama, where physical endurance and certain tactical skills matter, but so does brain work: figuring things out from few clues, making calculations and playing head games. The drama unfolds more or less in real time, and may be one of the grimiest, dustiest films I’ve ever seen. The Wall’s tagline is “This isn’t a war. It’s a game.” That’s a fair assessment, from the occasional zingy chess-match nature of the “battle” to the rather improbable story. Starts Fri., May 12 (Al Hoff)

ONGOING A QUIET PASSION. It’s fun to imagine how the great American poet Emily Dickinson (1830-1886) would have processed a film about her largely solitary life, and her portrayal by one of the stars of cheerfully raunchy Sex in the City. But we can see for ourselves, in Terence Davies’ (House of Mirth) handsome bio-pic, in which Cynthia Nixon portrays the often-difficult Dickinson with great sympathy. Dickinson lived in Amherst, Mass., often reclusively. Her few companions here include family members and a rather lively friend, with whom she enjoys verbal sparring. She remains unmarried, and writes poetry, some of which is published. As modern viewers, we pity the sensitive and yearning Dickinson her often sad life. Sequestered by societal mores and her own insecurities, she is unable to realize the fullest

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THE UMBRELLAS OF CHERBOURG. Catherine Deneuve stars in this sparkling 1964 musical from Jacques Demy. She’s a country girl who falls in love with a mechanic. Ahhh, l’amour! Of note: The story is told only through song, and this candy-colored film was a major inspiration for last year’s hit La La Land. In French, with subtitles. May 13-18. Row House Cinema THE SOUND OF MUSIC. These hills are alive … with the sound of music. Julie Andrews stars in Robert Wise’s 1965 musical dramedy about the singing Von Trapp family. 11 a.m. Sun., May 14. Hollywood

Mothers of Bedford expression of her talents. (There is never an easy time to be a poet. But to be an upper-middle-class woman in the 1800s was simply to be married off or ignored as a spinster, and never a poet.) The title refers to Dickinson’s emotional passion (however suppressed), but can also take the religious meaning, denoting a time of suffering. And religion, too, is up for frequent debate in Dickinson’s life, as she struggles with incorporating her own desire for a fulfilling spirituality within the rigid structures of the organized church. Davies’ film is a lyrical work, and literally full of poetry. It should please those who can appreciate an introspective and meditative biography of someone who rarely left her house. It is true parlor intrigue — a room where perhaps a quarter of the film takes place — in which the wickedest things are the barbed epigrams, and the dramas are life’s familiar woes: the death of a parent, the loss of a friend, an unresolved illness. A must-see for fans of Dickinson and 19thcentury arts and letters. Manor (AH)

REPERTORY MARNIE. Alfred Hitchcock’s 1964 thriller about a thief named Marnie (Tippi Hedren), who has some serious psychosexual issues, and the man (Sean Connery) who pursues her. Less seen than Vertigo, but similarly weird vis-à-vis memory and mental health. 2:15 p.m. Wed., May 10. Row House Cinema NOTORIOUS. This top-notch A-list 1943 thrillerromance from Alfred Hitchcock finds Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant sparring as lovers and secret agents, while discreetly infiltrating Nazi collabora-

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tors in South America. 5 p.m. Wed., May 10. Row House Cinema VERTIGO. James Stewart loses his grip when he becomes obsessed with a beautiful blonde (Kim Novak) in Alfred Hitchcock’s 1958 thriller. Conflating sexual desire, memory and deception, Vertigo, shot in glorious color in the San Francisco Bay area, is regarded as one of Hitchcock’s finest works. 7:15 p.m. Wed., May 10. Row House Cinema FRIED GREEN TOMATOES. Jon Avnet directs this 1991 adaptation of the popular Fannie Flagg novel about an unhappy housewife who finds a sympathetic ear with an elderly woman in a nursing home. Kathy Bates, Jessica Tandy, Mary Stuart Masterson and Mary-Louise Parker star. 7:30 p.m. Wed., May 10. AMC Loews Waterfront. $5 THE LADY VANISHES. In Alfred Hitchcock’s 1939 light comedy-thriller, a young woman on board a trans-European train is baffled when her carriage companion, a sweet old lady, simply disappears. 9:30 p.m. Wed., May 10. Row House Cinema FOUND FOOTAGE FESTIVAL. This touring program, hosted by Nick Prueher and Joe Pickett, brings the hilarity of found video, rescued from thrift stores, basement and who knows where. This year’s brandnew program includes: a star-studded Desert Storm parade sponsored by Taco Bell; on-air bloopers from more than a decade’s worth of North Dakota local news; and a collection of satanic-panic videos from the 1980s, including “The Law Enforcement Guide to Satanic Cults.” 8 p.m. Thu., May 11. Regent Square. $12

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THE WORLD OF APU. This 1959 film is the last in Indian filmmaker Satyajit Ray’s masterful trilogy about the coming-of-age of a young Bengali man named Apu, and the recently independent India. The deeply humanist films, gorgeously shot in black and white, gently mark the transition from traditional to modern, from rural to urban. Ray’s work also helped spark a rise in “world cinema,” films produced outside of Europe and the U.S. World depicts Apu seeking work as a writer, and a romantic relationship, during a fateful journey to a rural village. It is not necessary to have seen the two earlier films — Pather Panchali (1955) and Aparajito (1956) — to enjoy and appreciate this one. In Bengali, with subtitles. 7:45 p.m. Tue., May 16. Tull Family Theater, 418 Walnut St., Sewickley. www.thetullfamilytheater.org MRS. DOUBTFIRE. Robin Williams stars as a divorced dad who doubles as the wacky but lovable nanny Mrs. Doubtfire in Chris Columbus’ 1993 comedy. And who says there are no good roles for middle-aged women? 7:30 p.m. Wed., May 17. AMC Loews Waterfront MOTHERS OF BEDFORD. Jenifer McShane’s 2011 documentary profiles a little-discussed issue — that 80 percent of women in prison are mothers to school-age children. The film examines the lives of five women, incarcerated at the Bedford Hills Correctional Facility, in New York, and how they struggle to maintain relationships with their children. 6:30 p.m. Thu., May 18. Eddy Theater, Chatham University campus, Shadyside. www.justfilmspgh.org. Free KIDNAPPPED FOR CHRIST. Kate Logan directs this 2014 documentary about a “re-education camp” in the Dominican Republic, where American parents send their gay teen children to be “fixed.” Logan, herself a Christian college student, learned of the facility while doing missionary work in the Dominican Republic and was granted rare access to the camp and to its inhabitants. The film screens as part of Reel Q’s ongoing series Reel Stories, which presents films about the struggles and triumphs of the LGBT community. 7 p.m. Thu., May 18. Alphabet City, 40 W. North Ave., North Side. www.reelq.org/events. Free

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“THIS YEAR OUR GOAL IS TO KEEP THE CAR IN ONE PIECE.”

HISTORY LESSONS This week in Pittsburgh Sports History {BY CHARLIE DEITCH} A look back at events that you’ve either forgotten about or never heard of in the first place. MAY 11, 1977: Billionaire TV mogul and then-owner of the Atlanta Braves Ted Turner decided he didn’t like the way his team was playing after 16 straight losses. Apparently, the only way he could fix the problem was to temporarily fire his manager and coach the team himself. On this day, the Braves took on the Pirates in Three Rivers Stadium. Atlanta lost that game, and Turner was out of the job the next day for violating an MLB rule against owners also managing. MAY 11, 1991: The Pittsburgh Penguins finally turned the corner when they beat the Boston Bruins to win the conference championship and secure their first berth in the Stanley Cup Finals. MAY 12, 2011: An account executive with the Pittsburgh Pirates sends an email to her colleagues asking for a boycott of a local bar called The Stroll Inn, in Kennedy Township, because of a beer promotion: “When the Pirates lose, you win.” The bar took a nickel off of a pitcher of beer every time the Pirates lost. That led Bucs general manager Frank Coonelly to call the bar owner, who then called a TV station, and a national news story was born. MAY 13, 1952: Mon Valley native and future Pittsburgh Pirates pitcher Ron Necciai became the first, and as of today, only pitcher to strike out 27 batters in a pro game. The feat happened in the Class D Appalachian League when Necciai was playing for the Bristol Twins. He would join the Pirates later that season, his only in the major leagues. MAY 13, 2009: Instant replay is used for the first time to reverse a home-run call. Pirates first baseman Adam LaRoche was the unfortunate recipient. MAY 15, 1970: Pittsburgh Penguins rookie Michel Briere is involved in an automobile accident in his native Canada. He would undergo four brain surgeries and remain in a coma until he died on April 13, 1971. MAY 17, 1963: Pittsburgh’s Bruno Sammartino wins his first WWWF title by beating legendary grappler Buddy Rogers in just 48 seconds at Madison Square Garden.

{CP PHOTOS BY LUKE THOR TRAVIS}

A night at the races: Scenes from Lernerville Speedway

RACING SEASON {BY BILLY LUDT}

S

INCE OCTOBER 1967, the small com-

munity of Sarver has hummed with the sound of idling engines every Friday evening at the Lernerville Speedway. The venerable dirt track opened its 50th season on April 28, and the track hasn’t lost its popularity with local race fans. When City Paper visited the track, which is about 30 miles north of town, on May 5, fans filed in and stood at the fence surrounding the grandstand, peering down into the pit area, where drivers and their crews were busy hauling their cars off trailers. It’s a big night for the fans and the drivers. “This year our goal is to keep the car in one piece, try not to be in the garage

CDEITCH@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

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so much,” says stock driver Chase Lam- for a while now. My uncle used to race bert. “We want to make sure everything them. My cousin Jimmy still does, he racis ready to go each week. This year we set es here on a weekly basis. My dad used to a big goal for rookie of the year, which is back in the early 2000s. We’ve kind of just been in and out of the racing busia long shot, but we’re setting stanness,” Lambert says. dards higher this year. We just As race time draws near, want to be safe. We want to E R MO S crews and drivers continue have fun.” O T PHO NE preparations on their vehicles At 15 years old, Lambert is LI . ON as a tanker truck filled with competing in the stock diviat www r e pap pghcitym water circles the track, spraying sion, keeping a family tradition .co it down, with SUVs in tow, tampalive on the track. ing down the dirt. The track will see “We have another car, and Pop was saying, ‘All right, you’re getting older quite a bit of action on this night from a and starting to be able to drive something, pool of talented drivers. “When I started running late models, I so I’ll throw you in one of these pure stocks.’ We’ve been a part of pure stocks came here, because it’s a tough field,” says


driver and car owner Russ King. “It’s still pretty tough. Car counts are down a little bit, but the cars that are here — there’s usually six or seven badass dudes here that can win. It took me racing late models on and off here for a couple years to win, just because the local field is pretty tough.” Last year, King won driver-of-the-year honors and in 2009, he was rookie of the year. With friends and family, he runs Russ King Racing, building dirt-track cars full time. In previous seasons, King frequently raced at Lernerville, but plans on mostly competing in special events due to the costs of running the cars, and upkeep. “It’s a struggle to maintain all of our racecars

and then build new racecars. This is all I do. I don’t have a ‘real job,’” King says. On the track’s loudspeakers, country music plays and is intermittently interrupted by announcements from the track steward. The grandstands begin to fill with fans dressed in shirts and sweatshirts bearing names and numbers of drivers. “I’ve been coming here since I was born,” says track official Kyle Stramaski. “The best drivers in the country come here to race every week in every division. And these are big divisions we’re talking about.” The scent of burning methanol settles in as raceway and pit crews, using quads

and golf carts, begin pushing vehicles to the track for a few test laps. They’re pushstarted, and after a few laps at racing speed, drivers return to the pits and try to keep the cars warm for race time. Lernerville has races every Friday, from mid-April until mid-October, and plays host to events with the national dirt-track racing tour, World of Outlaws, as well as current and former NASCAR drivers. “For me, it’s about the camaraderie,” says Scott Dunbar, owner of Brand X Racecars. “We get together a couple times a week to work on the cars, and then take them out here to Lernerville.” Down in the pits, the hum of engines has become a roar. Each crew sets

a portable heating unit next to its car’s engine to keep the temperature near 200 degrees. “I always liked the mechanical end of it — building the cars,” Dunbar says. “We started out with one car, and one car was probably enough. Now we have a full crew.” The green flag falls at 7:30 p.m., and a lineup of sprint cars takes off, leaving a spray of dirt behind. “I’ve loved dirt-track racing all my life,” says fan Ed Betrovich. “I come out here to meet some friends and enjoy the races every now and then. “I’ve been all over the place to see races, and, luckily, Lernerville is close.” I N F O@ P G H C I T Y PA P E R. C OM

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[THE CHEAP SEATS]

ALMOST FAMOUS {BY MIKE WYSOCKI} LAST WEEK we started the countdown of the Pittsburgh Pirates’ 30 best outfielders after Roberto Clemente. I have to admit, there were surprising names on that list — names that on a lot of teams wouldn’t be ranked that high. But this week we get to Nos. 20-11. These are the solid, reliable outfielders who fall just short of elite status. When Chuck Tanner was making out his lineup card in 1979, he had six outfielders to choose from: Dave Parker, Omar Moreno, Bill Robinson, Mike Easler, Lee Lacy and John Milner. That Pirate depth has never been matched. Last week, for example, after Clint Hurdle penciled in Andrew McCutchen, his choices were Gregory Polanco, John Jaso and Jose Osuna. This is a much more solid list. 20. You might remember Gary Redus from the list of best first basemen. Redus (1988-92) snuck in at No. 10 on that list and is No. 20 on this one. He is a stat creeper who quietly sneaks up the ranks. Redus hit .255 with 25 home runs, drove in 96 and stole 69 bases as a part-time Bucco. 19. Craig Wilson played only one full season with the Pirates, when he played 155 games. Lots of injuries contributed

{CP FILE PHOTO}

Starling Marte

to his lack of playing time, but when he played, he produced. In that one healthy year, Wilson hit 24 jacks and drove in 84. Even more impressive was that it happened in 2004, when he had Ty Wigginton, Daryle Ward and Jose Castillo batting around him. During his stay, Wilson hit .268 with 94 homers, drove

in 282 and had an impressive .828 OPS (on-base plus slugging percentage). 18. Garrett Jones was apparently better than we thought. G.I. Jones had a WAR (wins above replacement) of 16.2 while hitting 100 home runs, knocking in 325, stealing 28 bases and hitting .256. Jones played in the dark ages of Pirates baseball, as he joined the team in its 17th consecutive losing season. But it was a semihappy ending as he played on the 2013 team and got two postseason at-bats. He went hitless in those attempts and then left the next year to take his talents to South Beach with the Marlins. 17. Omar Moreno stole 96 bases one season and still didn’t lead the majors. It’s an all-time Pirates record, but Moreno was bested by Detroit’s Ron LeFlore, who stole 97. Plus, LeFlore had a better story. He was discovered in prison, redeemed himself, became a star and stole Moreno’s thunder. The Panamanian Flash (not his nickname) did lead the National League in stolen bases twice, with more than 70 in both of those years. Also, 412 was not just his area code here, but his steals total as a Pirate. Moreno hit .276 with 37 homers and 386 RBI. 16. While Omar Moreno came all the way from Panama to be at Three Rivers Stadium, Bill Robinson could just take a cab from McKeesport. It’s tough to get the proper recognition when Willie Stargell, Dave Parker and Bill Madlock are in the

lineup with you. But the McKeesport Masher could hit. Mr. Robinson belted 109 homers, the most of anyone on the 11-20 list. He also drove in 412 runs (there’s that number again). 15. To describe Mike Easler to the younger generation, you would have to say that his bat was lit. The Hit Man had a .302 average, hit 56 homers and drove in 244 runs with the Pirates. He later went on to fight ham as part of the Nippon Ham Fighters of the Japanese League. In a list of best guys named “Hit Man,” Easler is in the top three, with boxer Tommy Hearns and wrestler Bret Hart. 14. We like Orlando Merced because he hit .283 with 63 home runs, drove in 394 runs and had a 16.2 WAR. We don’t love Orlando because in the playoffs he was a member of the origami-folding committee. In 19 playoff at-bats, Merced managed just three hits, although one was a homer. But statistically speaking, of all the outfielder/first basemen on this top-30 list, he’s second best to Willie Stargell. A distant second, but still second. 13. In 1979, Lee Lacy did something that would make current Pirates owner Bob Nutting salivate. He signed as a free agent for $140,000 and hit .335. He spent six years with the Pirates, hitting .304, but was somehow never good enough to get a starting job. Lacy stole 140 bases, hit 35 homers and drove in 172 runs. In 16 major-league seasons, he never played in more than 140 games. 12. Al Martin’s home runs were as long as the tales he spun. Martin’s so crazy he’s the only guy on the list to be involved in a bigamy case. While he didn’t really play college football at USC (which he claimed he did, for some reason), he did play some pretty good baseball in Pittsburgh. Martin hit 107 dingers, drove in 381 runs, and stole 152 bases while maintaining a .280 batting average. The numbers are crazy-good too. 11. The fact that Starling Marte is already so high on this list makes his half-season suspension for performance-enhancing drugs all the more frustrating. In his career, Marte is hitting .288 with 60 home runs and 242 RBI. His 162 stolen bases are second only to Moreno on this portion of the list. Plus, he has the highest WAR and won two Gold Gloves. Look at the numbers; the “Partay” is just beginning. Next week: The final installment brings this 172-part series to a peaceful conclusion.

THESE ARE THE SOLID, RELIABLE OUTFIELDERS WHO FALL JUST SHORT OF ELITE STATUS.

MIK E WYSO C K I IS A STANDU P C O ME DIAN. F O L L OW H I M ON T W I T T E R: @ I T S M I K E W YS OC K I

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER

CLASSIFIEDS FOR INFORMATION ON HOW TO PLACE A CLASSIFIEDS ADVERTISEMENT, CALL 412-316-3342 EXT. 189 HELP WANTED

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Pittsburgh Local 6 International Union of Elevator Constructors will be accepting applications from May 12, 2017 thru May 26, 2017. Application MUST BE COMPLETED ON-LINE by visiting www.neiep. org/careers or for more information contact: ocowan@neiep.org

Classrooms (650 square feet) for rent in old school for crafts, art, offices. Start your (ad)venture! free off-street parking, wifi, all utilities included $400/month. Free large rehearsal space if you rent. Located near Pittsburgh Mills. Text or call 724-230-6010

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OFFICIAL ADVERTISEMENT

Bella Frutetto is hiring hosts, line cooks and pantry cooks. Flexible hours. Stop in for an application. 2602 Brandt School Road, Wexford PA

THE BOARD OF PUBLIC EDUCATION OF THE SCHOOL DISTRICT OF PITTSBURGH Sealed proposals shall be deposited at the Administration Building, Room 251, 341 South Bellefield Avenue, Pittsburgh, Pa., 15213, on May 16, 2017, until 2:00 P.M., local prevailing time for the following:

TECHNICAL

Panasas, Inc. seeks Software Quality Assurance Engineer to work in Pittsburgh, PA. Create & maintain sftwr test suites & test tools for file systems testing & coordinate w/multi-disciplined project groups to achieve goals. Degree & commensurate exp. req’d. To apply visit: www. panasas.com

Pittsburgh Obama 6-12 Science Labs & ADA Restroom Renovations Plumbing Construction Prime Contract - REBID Pittsburgh Liberty K-5 ADA Stage Lift General Construction Prime Contract - REBID Project Manual and Drawings are available for purchase on May 1, 2017 at Modern Reproductions (412-488-7700), 127 McKean Street, Pittsburgh, Pa., 15219 between 9:00 A.M. and 4:00 P.M. The cost of the Project Manual Documents is non-refundable. Project details and dates are described in each project manual. We are an equal rights and opportunity school district. Parent Hotline: 412-622-7920 www.pps.k12.pa.us

Job Fair - Come work with us!

OFFICIAL ADVERTISEMENT THE BOARD OF PUBLIC EDUCATION OF THE SCHOOL DISTRICT OF PITTSBURGH

Sealed proposals shall be deposited at the Administration Building, Room 251, 341 South Bellefield Avenue, Pittsburgh, Pa., 15213, on May 16, 2017, until 2:00 P.M., local prevailing time for the following:

MULTIPLE POSITIONS Uber Technologies, Inc. has multiple positions open in Pittsburgh, PA for the following:

Pittsburgh Phillips K-5 Restroom, Lobby & Safety Renovations Asbestos Abatement Prime Contract - REBID Project Manual and Drawings are available for purchase on May 4, 2017 at Modern Reproductions (412-488-7700), 127 McKean Street, Pittsburgh, Pa., 15219 between 9:00 A.M. and 4:00 P.M. The cost of the Project Manual Documents is non-refundable. Project details and dates are described in each project manual. We are an equal rights and opportunity school district. Parent Hotline: 412-622-7920 www.pps.k12.pa.us NEWS

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Software Engineer (Ref#17APRSWPITT) Dsgn/archtct, dev &/or test SW apps using Uber’s tech stack.

Senior Software Engineer (Ref#17APRSSEPITT) Apply tech knwldge to eval complx data/def/prjcts & provide recs to rslve complx tech issues. Refer to Ref# & mail resume to: Uber Technologies, Inc. Attn: S. Tateno 685 Market St, Suite 400 San Francisco, CA 94105 +

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IN PERSON INTERVIEWS:

Familylinks is hiring direct care Teacher/ Counselors at our residential facilities in Plum, Verona, Uptown, McKeesport and Wilkinsburg. Opportunities include working with males and females between the ages of 12 and 21 years old with a mental health diagnosis. Hourly rates from $10.20 to $15.00 per hour based on location, having a degree and experience. Applicants must be 21 years old, have a valid driver’s license and access to transportation to and from the job site. A bachelor’s degree is preferred. Act 33, 34 and FBI clearances are required upon hire and applicants will be required to have a pre-employment drug screen and physical exam. If you’re looking for an opportunity at a nonprofit that helps families across western Pennsylvania, Familylinks is the place for you! +

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Smokers Wanted The University of Pittsburgh’s Alcohol and Smoking Research Laboratory is seeking participants for a three-part research project. To participate, you must: • Currently smoke cigarettes • Be 18-55 years old, in good health, and speak fluent English • Be willing to fill out questionnaires, and to not smoke before two sessions.

Earn up to $150 for completing this study.

For more information, call (412) 624-8975 *Our laboratory is also seeking couples, where one or both people smoke.

Weekend appointments available. For more information, call (412) 648-2214

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ACROSS 1. Elephant married to Celeste 6. Putin’s one-time org. 9. It’s sometimes tough to kick one 14. “You beat me” 15. Corner shape 16. Small egg or seed 17. Crisis for the Middle Ages 19. Succinct 20. Shoulder coverings 21. Weightlifter’s powder 23. Pin-up’s leg 24. Billboard entries 26. Brouhaha 28. Change the story, say 32. Donkey Kong projectile 35. Stewpot 36. Money man 38. Condo doc? 39. Sotomayor, Alito, and Thomas, e.g. 41. More modern 43. Ben who plays Benji in the “Pitch Perfect” series 44. Hit the all-youcan-eat buffet 46. Grunting tennis legend 48. Holey t-shirt, perhaps 49. Extreme

51. Rock-paperscissors 53. Doing like 55. Class where students go in circles?: Abbr. 56. ___ Mateo 58. Whizzes 60. Slimy sort 64. Sporty Ford 66. Stone with an intense blue color 68. More competent 69. Thai restaurant cup 70. Oxford ___ 71. Samsung smartphone line 72. Hang onto 73. Belgian avant-garde painter James

DOWN 1. Lobster restaurant freebies 2. God with “99 beautiful names” 3. Big name in veggie burgers 4. Question 5. Wrote back 6. Where you might make a stand at a fraternity 7. Excessive amount 8. “That’s disgusting” 9. Item in a firewalker’s pit 10. Google Maps abbr.

11. Source of some nighttime tripping? 12. Ingrid’s role 13. Overflow (with) 18. 1996 Mario Puzo novel, with “The” 22. Toss, as a grenade 25. Some waves 27. Get ready (for) 28. 101 classmates 29. Skateboarder’s basic trick 30. Boring 31. Trump ___ 33. Cornerstone abbr. 34. “Get your filthy paws off of me!” 37. Enter data again 40. Go very slowly 42. Fixes a hole, say

45. Hang on the line 47. Puma’s line 50. 67.5 degrees, in dirs. 52. Echo locator? 54. Trattoria treat 56. Flying solo 57. “The Winner Takes It All” group 59. Do a spit take 61. Arithmetic homework 62. Annoying, er, tickled Muppet 63. Shit shoveler 65. Secretary of State Tillerson 67. “Pretty Little Liars” star Harding {LAST WEEK’S ANSWERS}


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FOR THE WEEK OF

Free Will Astrology

05.10-05.17

{BY ROB BREZSNY}

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): “Kiss the flame and it is yours,” teased the poet Thomas Lux. What do you think he was hinting at? It’s a metaphorical statement, of course. You wouldn’t want to literally thrust your lips and tongue into a fire. But according to my reading of the astrological omens, you might benefit from exploring its meanings. Where to begin? May I suggest you visualize making out with the steady burn at the top of a candle? My sources tell me that doing so at this particular moment in your evolution will help kindle a new source of heat and light in your deep self — a fresh fount of glowing power that will burn sweet and strong like a miniature sun.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Your symbol of power during the next three weeks is a key. Visualize it. What picture pops into your imagination? Is it a bejeweled golden key like what might be used to access an old treasure chest? Is it a rustic key for a garden gate or an oversized key for an ornate door? Is it a more modern thing that locks and unlocks car doors with radio waves? Whatever you choose, Gemini, I suggest you enshrine it in as an inspirational image in the back of your mind. Just assume that it will subtly inspire and empower you to find the metaphorical “door” that leads to the next chapter of your life story.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): You are free to reveal yourself in your full glory. For once in your life, you have cosmic clearance to ask for everything you want without apology. This is the LATER you have been saving yourself for. Here comes the reward for the hard work you’ve been doing that no one has completely appreciated. If the universe has any prohibitions

or inhibitions to impose, I don’t know what they are. If old karma has been preventing the influx of special dispensations and helpful X-factors, I suspect that old karma has at least temporarily been neutralized.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): “I don’t want to be at the mercy of my emotions,” said Irish writer Oscar Wilde. “I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.” In my opinion, that may be one of the most radical vows ever formulated. Is it even possible for us human beings to gracefully manage our unruly flow of feelings? What you do in the coming weeks could provide evidence that the answer to that question might be yes. According to my reading of the astrological omens, you are now in a position to learn more about this high art than ever before.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Africa’s highest mountain is Mount Kilimanjaro. Though it’s near the equator, its peak is covered

get your yoga on!

year-round with glaciers. In 2001, scientists predicted that global warming would melt them all by 2015. But that hasn’t happened. The ice cap is still receding slowly. It could endure for a while, even though it will eventually disappear. Let’s borrow this scenario as a metaphor for your use, Virgo. First, consider the possibility that a certain thaw in your personal sphere isn’t unfolding as quickly as you anticipated. Second, ruminate on the likelihood that it will, however, ultimately come to pass. Third, adjust your plans accordingly.

vanished riches like the last Russian czar’s Fabergé eggs or King John’s crown jewels. And yet if wonderlands and treasures like those really do exist, I’m betting that some may soon be discovered by Capricorn explorers. Are there unaccountedfor masterpieces by Georgia O’Keeffe buried in a basement somewhere? Is the score of a lost Mozart symphony tucked away in a seedy antique store? I predict that your tribe will specialize in unearthing forgotten valuables, homing in on secret miracles, and locating missing mother lodes.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22):

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18):

Will sex be humdrum and predictable in the coming weeks? No! On the contrary. Your interest in wandering to the frontiers of erotic play could rise quite high. You may be animated and experimental in your approach to intimate communion, whether it’s with another person or with yourself. Need any suggestions? Check out the “butterflies-in-flight” position or the “spinning wheel of roses” maneuver. Try the “hum-and-chuckle kissing dare” or the “churning radiance while riding the rain cloud” move. Or just invent your own variations and give them funny names that add to the adventure.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20):

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Right now the word “simplicity” is irrelevant. You’ve got silky profundities to play with, slippery complications to relish, and lyrical labyrinths to wander around in. I hope you use these opportunities to tap into more of your subterranean powers. From what I can discern, your deep dark intelligence is ready to provide you with a host of fresh clues about who you really are and where you need to go. P.S.: You can become better friends with the shadows without compromising your relationship to the light.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21):

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You can bake your shoes in the oven at 350 degrees for 40 minutes, but that won’t turn them into loaves of bread. Know what I’m saying, Sagittarius? Just because a chicken has wings doesn’t mean it can fly over the rainbow. Catch my drift? You’ll never create a silk purse out of dental floss and dead leaves. That’s why I offer you the following advice: In the next two weeks, do your best to avoid paper tigers, red herrings, fool’s gold, fake news, Trojan horses, straw men, pink elephants, convincing pretenders and invisible bridges. There’ll be a reward if you do: close encounters with shockingly beautiful honesty and authenticity that will be among your most useful blessings of 2017.

According to my lyrical analysis of the astrological omens, here are examples of the kinds of experiences you might encounter in the next 21 days: 1. interludes that reawaken memories of the first time you fell in love; 2. people who act like helpful, moon-drunk angels just in the nick of time; 3. healing music or provocative art that stirs a secret part of you — a sweet spot you had barely been aware of; 4. an urge arising in your curious heart to speak the words, “I invite lost and exiled beauty back into my life.” Ex-baseball player Eric DuBose was pulled over by Florida cops who spotted him driving his car erratically. They required him to submit to a few tests, hoping to determine whether he had consumed too much alcohol. “Can you recite the alphabet?” they asked. “I’m from the great state of Alabama,” DuBose replied, “and they have a different alphabet there.” I suggest, Pisces, that you try similar gambits whenever you find yourself in odd interludes or tricky transitions during the coming days — which I suspect will happen more than usual. Answer the questions you want to answer rather than the ones you’re asked, for example. Make jokes that change the subject. Use the powers of distraction and postponement. You’ll need extra slack, so seize it!

ARIES (March 21-April 19):

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19):

The process by which Zoo Jeans are manufactured is unusual. First, workers wrap and secure sheets of denim around car tires or big rubber balls, and take their raw creations to the Kamine Zoo in Hitachi City, Japan. There the denimswaddled objects are thrown into pits where tigers or lions live. As the beasts roughhouse with their toys, they rip holes in the cloth. Later, the material is retrieved and used to sew the jeans. Might this story prove inspirational for you in the coming weeks? I suspect it will. Here’s one possibility: You could arrange for something wild to play a role in shaping an influence you will have an intimate connection with.

Of all the signs of the zodiac, you Capricorns are the least likely to believe in mythical utopias like Camelot or El Dorado or Shambhala. You tend to be uber-skeptical about the existence of legendary

If you knew you were going to live to 100, what would you do differently in the next five years? Testify at Freewillastrology.com.

GO TO REALASTROLOGY.COM TO CHECK OUT ROB BREZSNY’S EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES AND DAILY TEXT-MESSAGE HOROSCOPES. THE AUDIO HOROSCOPES ARE ALSO AVAILABLE BY PHONE AT 1-877-873-4888 OR 1-900-950-7700


Savage Love {BY DAN SAVAGE}

My husband is nearly 20 years older than me, which was never an issue early in our relationship. However, for approximately the last eight years, we have not been able to have fulfilling sex because my husband can’t keep an erection for more than a few thrusts. I love my husband and I am committed to our family, but I miss full PIV sex. I’m still fairly young and I enjoy sex, but I feel like I am mourning the death of my sex life. I miss the intimate connection and powerful feeling of sex with a man. My husband tries to please me, but oral sex is just OK and toys don’t have the same effect. We have tried Viagra a few times, but it gave him a terrible headache. I try to brush it off because I don’t want to embarrass him. I am curious about casual relationships, but I fear they wouldn’t stay casual. Also, I would feel guilty being with another man even though my husband said I could do it one time. On one hand, I feel like I should be able to have a fulfilling sex life. But on the other hand, I don’t want to be a cheater. NOW ON TO HAVING AWKWARDLY REALISTIC DISCUSSIONS

It’s not cheating if you have your husband’s permission, NOTHARD, but fucking another man could still blow up your marriage — even if you manage to keep it casual. Story time: I knew this straight couple. They were good together, they loved each other, and they had a strong sexual connection. The woman was all about monogamy, but her boyfriend had always wanted to have a threesome. She didn’t want to be the reason he never got to do something he’d been fantasizing about since age 13, so she told her boyfriend that if the opportunity ever presented itself, he could go for it. So long as the sex was safe and he was honest with her, he could have a threesome one time. The opportunity presented itself, the sex was safe, he was honest — and my friend spent a week ricocheting between devastated and furious before finally dumping her devastated and flummoxed boyfriend. My friend told me she wanted her boyfriend to be able to do it but didn’t want him to actually do it. She didn’t want to be the reason he couldn’t; she wanted to be the reason he didn’t. So her permission to have a threesome “one time” was a test (one he didn’t know he was taking) and a trap (one he couldn’t escape from). I urged my friend to take her boyfriend back — if he would have her — but he’d touched another woman with the tip of his penis, which meant he didn’t love her the way she thought he did, the way she deserved to be loved, etc. Back to you, NOTHARD: My first reaction to your letter was “You’ve got your husband’s OK to fuck some other dude — go for it.” Then I reread your letter and thought, “Wait, this could be a test and a trap.” You say you’ve brushed off the issue to spare your husband’s feelings, but he may sense it’s an issue and, consciously or subconsciously, this is his way of finding out. If you take him up on his offer “one time,” and you make the mistake of being honest with him about it, he may be just as devastated as my friend was. So don’t take your husband up on his offer — not yet. Have a few more conversations about your sex life instead and address nonmonogamy/

openness generally, not nonmonogamy/openness as a work-around for his dick. There may be some solo adventures he’d like to have, there may be invigorating new sexual adventures you could enjoy as a couple (maybe he’d love to go down on two women at once?), or he may rescind or restate his offer to let you fuck some other dude one time. Get clarity — crystal clarity — before proceeding. Finally, there are other erectile-dysfunction drugs out there that may not have the same side effects. And low to very low doses of Viagra — doses less likely to induce a headache — are effective for some men. Good luck. I am a 30-year-old woman with some sexual hang-ups I’d like to get past for the sake of my husband. When I was 14, I was in a relationship with a guy who wasn’t nice to me. One particular incident sticks in my mind: He pulled my hair and tried to force my head down while I was saying no and trying to get away. He shoved me and called me a prude. Another time, he convinced me to let him go down on me (I finally agreed) but then bit me. I eventually broke up with him after spending too much time putting up with the crap. For a long time, I hated oral sex and freaked out at any sexual interaction. I had a great college boyfriend who always asked “Is this OK?” and was generally very attuned to any “no” signals I gave, which was a turnon for me. I got over my past crappy experiences. My husband is all about what gives us both pleasure, but he has always been up-front about being interested in some (tame) kinky stuff. I am still turned on by “Is this OK?” and eye contact during sex, but any time we try to do anything even a little off the wall — me tied up, blindfolds, etc. — my ears start ringing and I feel like I can’t breathe. I’m trying to find a way to spice things up and fulfill my husband’s desires, and I cannot find a way around it. How do we move past “just” vanilla?

f f o k c i K Pa r t y

“YOU NEED TO FEEL SAFE AND IN CONTROL.”

RECONSIDERING OTHERWISE UNLIKELY GGG HABITS

If your shitty early-teenage sexual experiences — if those violations and sexual assaults — are still affecting you 16 years later, ROUGH, that suggests PTSD. Getting past this will be gradual, it may require therapy — counseling, a support group, a shrink. While you’re getting help, ROUGH, you and your partner can explore some mild non-vanilla moves. Mindful breathing, like the kids are into these days, may help, and so will incorporating some soothing sensory input, e.g., soft lighting, calming music, scented something-or-other if you enjoy scented somethings. And whatever your husband is doing — whatever you two are doing together — he can and should ask “Is this OK?” at every step. It turns you on and it makes you feel safe. You need to feel safe and in control. Slowly, slowly, slowly you may be able to advance to more aggressive play. It’s possible, however, that rough sex might be permanently off the table for you, ROUGH, and that’s not something you should feel guilty about. There are other ways to spice up your sex life, other (tame) kinks that don’t trigger you.

SATURDAY, MAY 13th Burger Eating Contest, Live Music, Drink Specials & more!

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Check out Dan on Blabbermouth — The Stranger’s political podcast: thestranger.com/ blabbermouth.

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FOCUS ON UNBLURRED Scenes from this month’s First Friday Unblurred art-gallery crawl on Penn Avenue {BY KRISTA JOHNSON}

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