14 minute read
HEALTH
An Unending hopeConversation with
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by Dorthi DiGilio
Ifelt the inspiration for my first column while watching a Diane Sawyer interview with Matthew Perry a few months ago. Who doesn’t love Friends? It is one of my absolute favorites. TBS plays it all day. When I am home, I always have it on while doing a billion things. It makes me smile and just feel good. Over the years,
we felt as though they were our friends. We knew them and we loved them. It was easy. It was good.
Well, this interview was harsh reality. It was not easy. Conversations about addiction and mental health are difficult. They are also crucial in the world we live in. People are eager to talk about their physical health, including all the gory details. They have no hesitation asking doctors for the help that is needed. Mental health, on the other hand, is treated with secrecy. Especially addiction. The reality is that secrets kill people. Conversation is what is needed. I truly hope this column will be the start of a conversation. An unending conversation.
My oldest son Dean was a million amazing things. When you were with Dean, you were laughing. He was strong, protective, and always the first to help. If you would have told me 20 or so years ago when I
was coaching my boys on the soccer field that my Dean would die by suicide in 2013 at the age of 22 after a four-year battle with addiction, I would have told you that you undeniably had the wrong mom. Matthew Perry talked about addiction and how it could enter any HEALTH home, “Even one with golden parents.” I felt that. Make no mistake, there are no perfect parents and I do not claim to even be close. I did try my best every day to love my boys unconditionally and always put them first. I never imagined I would need to become educated in addiction, mental health, co-occurring disorders, and life changing grief until the unimaginable happened to me. The loss of a child is unlike any other loss. I was gutted, devastated, shattered, and broken. In the beginning, all I could do was survive hour to hour. It took time, the grace of God, and the love of my family to put me on a journey towards healing and hope.
While I was watching the interview, I heard Jennifer Aniston say, “We were not equipped to deal with this.” At that point, I wondered if there were others at home watching who could relate to this concept yet had no one to talk to about it. When people do not have an outlet for something that makes them feel like they’re being swallowed by quicksand, the secrecy and shame of it allows an unhealthy, vicious cycle to continue.
Mental illnesses are so different from physical issues because we are fighting something unseen with a baffling force working against us. The helplessness that comes with watching your loved one self-destruct and being unable to intercede feels like that dream where you are trying to scream, yet nothing comes out.
Unfortunately, you cannot wake up. This feeling is present all day long. There are so many debatable issues like disease vs. choice and tough love vs. enabling, which make secrecy more attractive, so as not to be judged.
Today, I am right here offering hope. I no longer say, “Everything happens for a reason.” There will never be a reason to justify losing Dean. I am, however, grateful for the way I can move forward and try to help others who find themselves on any part of this long, hard path.
I like to believe I am guided by Dean’s spirit. He and I are together in this. This is how I am able to survive. I am a Certified Family Recovery Specialist and a Certified Grief Educator. I am creating my Peer Practice, ‘deansmom.’ I have been involved with the grief group, For Jonathan’s Sake, for the past six years. I am currently Co-Facilitator of the group, which meets in Phoenixville, PA. It was created by the Steps4hope Foundation by Pam Moules in memory of her son, Jonathan.
I have learned that by sharing your story, not only can it become someone else’s survival guide, it also helps ease the weight of carrying it. Please reach out with your thoughts or anything I may be able to help you with. I may not have all the answers. I will surely help you find them. Think of me as your new friend. I’ll be there for you! I can be reached at dotsie2721@comcast.net, and on Facebook @deansmom. PRH
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by Theresa Collins BA CADC Facility Director/Primary Therapist Directions Outpatient Centers
With the start of the new year and the mood set for reflection and new goals, everyone is full of new ideas and positive attitudes. Looking at long term goals for those who struggle with mental health and substance use disorder can be overwhelming and daunting. A new year is a good time to look at both short-term goals and long-term goals for different areas of life. It is also a good time to focus on smaller and easily attainable goals which help to work toward a larger goal. If you are looking for concrete areas to focus on this year, this guide can help with specific areas of focus as well as some small goals to help reach larger ones.
HEALTH AND WELLNESS
Everyone wants to get healthier when there is a new year. Sometimes, that looks different for those struggling with substance use disorder and mental health disorders. When was the last time you saw a psychiatrist or primary care physician for a physical? It is a good time to think about adding a healthy habit into a daily routine. Focusing more on healthier habits and making a call to a doctor can jump-start your health and wellness, this year.
RELATIONSHIPS
Relationships and support are a cornerstone for anyone struggling with substance use disorder or mental health disorders. Reach out to a positive support system and re-incorporate them into your life. Evaluate intimate relationships and ensure that you are feeling whole before jumping into an intimate relationship. It is also the year to learn that saying no to negative relationships is okay.
CAREER AND FINANCIAL
Career and finances are a scary subject for those early in recovery. Before we can think about this, what are some smaller attainable goals? Do you have a resume? Have you been thinking about going to college? Maybe this is a time to sign up for one class. Are you terrified that you screwed up your credit score? Focus on immediate needs and bills and know that if you are doing the right thing, this will fall into place.
SPIRITUALITY
When was the last time you prayed or felt a spiritual connection? Focusing on your spirit can help with all other areas of your life. Maybe this is the year to try something new. You could attend that Buddhist meeting you have been looking into. Maybe attend a church service you have never tried before. Whatever way you feel pulled toward, now is the time to try one new thing.
Recovery can be hard but having clear and simple goals that push you toward a larger one is the best way to handle a new year and reset. By focusing on breaking different areas of life down, the overwhelming process of change can be simplified and attainable. PRH
Two heads are better than one
by Chef Mitzi Jackson-Robinson @mj_thechef Welcome to Chef MJ’s Corner, where we feature stories about food, nutrition, health, the latest trends and hotspots, and, last but not least, stories that inspire each reader. You know my motto… Food is a segue into intimate conversation. So, take a load off and let’s get intimate.
The post-pandemic world is one where some people are still nervous to come outside. There are reports of increased violence, increasing debt, and rising food costs. This all makes it impossible for some to go back to “normal living.” Yet still, some of us are afraid to ask for help. In my work with young women
battling depression, one of the things that I’ve noticed is that talking about our issues isn’t cool anymore. Admitting you
HEALTH have debt, not cool either. Especially when social media is plagued with images of perfect people, blinging jewelry, fancy cars and living an elaborate lifestyle.
Have you ever seen any images on social media of people admitting their day-to-day struggles or saying, “Man, I’m broke today!” What is baffling is that even in a recent poll that I conducted with married couples, two out of three of them said they had a major secret or debt they have not shared with their spouse. Everyone handles their relationships differently. Some choose to fight for each other. Some choose to flee, only to find that they have the same issues in the next relationship. If we all chose to love ourselves, first, then we would be able to see people for their potential and not what we want them to be at that moment. We love ourselves first, so we know how to love others.
Don’t be afraid to talk about your struggles. Some of us are so busy taking care of other people, we forget to take care of ourselves. Which leads to depression. Some people have so much pain behind their smiles, we have no clue until it’s too late. In fact, many experts say that discussing your issues can be a major stress reliever. It may even get you the resolution you didn’t know was possible. Imagine how many lives would be saved if people just talked about the problems that seemed overwhelming before deciding that suicide was a better option. It’s time for us to start being kind before it’s too late. Not just scrolling through social media to check on our friends but giving them a call.
If you are dealing with anything that you feel is just too much to bear, seek help. Look to a mentor or someone in a position to give you some sound advice. In a world that is reported to be full of hate, I am happy to say there are people filled with love. People who are there for you. I am one of those people.
At the start of 2023, let’s do several things.
Lead with love. Accept people for their potential. See past their looks, their career, their lifestyle. Lastly, remember, that two heads are better than one.
Chef Mitzi Jackson-Robinson www.chefmitzijackson.me
Instagram : mj_thechef PRH
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MANAGING WINTER BLUES Spend a Little Time Outside
by Danielle Tucci LPC Live Better Therapy Solutions
It’s that time of the year when the days are shorter, the view is darker, and the temperatures are colder. Many people experience the “winter blues,” feeling sadder or stressed from the holidays and winter season. This can be a common experience but for some, the experience may feel more intense. Referred to as Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), the condition is a clinical mental health concern.
Symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder include tiredness, depression, hopelessness, irritability, and social withdrawal. These symptoms often interfere with day-to-day functioning, relationships, and overall wellbeing. The onset of SAD is related to the change in seasons and sunlight. Specifically, the reduction in hours of daylight during the winter can disrupt someone’s natural rhythm or “internal clock.” Those with SAD usually find that symptoms occur around the same time each year – late fall or early winter – and gradually resolve as daylight hours increase.
According to researchers, there are several ways to
cope with seasonal change. One of these is cognitive behavioral therapy. In this type of therapy, the aim is to examine one’s thought processes and how they may be impacting mood. Looking at the helpfulness and accuracy of our thoughts is often the first step in reframing them to a more balanced viewpoint. Adjusting behaviors is also a component of this therapy. For many, daily tasks they once enjoyed are difficult when feeling reduced energy and motivation. One strategy, called behavioral activation, encourages individuals HEALTH to engage in these activities rather than avoid them, to boost mood. Activities can be as simple as spending time outside. Engaging in gentle movement or exercise has many physical and mental health benefits. Light therapy has also been used as a treatment option. In this, individuals use an artificial light source each day to mimic sunlight exposure. As always, it is important to speak with your provider about your specific experience. Support and resources are available. Or visit www. livebettertherapysolutions.com
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Step Inside
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Cold or rainy weather is no excuse to skip your steps for the day! Here are some ways to hit 10k while having fun, too.
Browse the Parkway Central Library
Wander the aisles and pick up a few books to take home. Reward your step goal by kicking up your feet and diving into a few chapters. Any library will do, but the Parkway Central location is the largest in Philadelphia’s Free Library system with four floors of collections to explore.
A Museum!
There are way too many to name in Philadelphia, so pick one you haven’t been to before and explore it all. Many are free or offer free/paywhat-you-wish days, too. You could spend hours at the Barnes Foundation or the Philadelphia Museum of Art. Gather some friends and organize a small group tour with the museum.
Pennsylvania Convention Center
With so many upcoming events, you’ll have no problem finding something that interests you. Visit www.paconvention.com. Highlights include Philadelphia International Auto Show (Jan. 28th to Feb. 5th), The African American Children’s Book Fair (Feb. 11th & 12th), The Pennsylvania Horticultural Society Flower Show (March 4th to 12th), and National Jazz Festival (April 22nd).
Philadelphia International Airport
Whether you have a major layover or just like to get to the airport early, walking the terminals is a great way to get some exercise before taking your cramped seat on the airplane. Check out www.phl.org/at-phl/art-exhibitions for current art exhibits to find at the airport, too. Opening soon in terminal F - Roam Fitness. The new airport gym and shower facility is a flat $25 fee. Baggage storage and workout clothing rentals are included in the cost.
Fairmount Park Horticulture Center’s Greenhouse
The grounds and 31,000-square-foot greenhouse of the Horticultural Center are open daily. Walk inside to view collections of tropical and succulent plants.
The Wells Fargo Center
Were Flyers or 76ers tickets in your stocking this year? A concert? You’ll probably get there early anyway, but instead of tailgating, head inside to walk a few laps. And a bonus - you’ll become an expert on bathroom locations and the shortest food or drink lines.
Cherry Street Pier
It can get chilly, but at least it’s covered. Peek into artist studios, view the exhibitions on display throughout the building, and check out upcoming events.
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