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NAKED CAME THE CHEESESTEAK (excerpt
Naked Came the Cheesesteak
an excerpt
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One of these people will die from that most Philadelphian of traditions: A poisoned cheesesteak.
Who will it be? Could it be Vincent “Pants “ DeLeon, wannabe journalist? Here’s a little bit about him, from writer Gregory Frost.
Pants closed his browser. Wow. Where in hell did Travers get all of his information?
Pants wanted to meet him, get the inside scoop from him, and more than that, shake him up in return. He would have considered dropping in at the Pen & Pencil Club to see if Travers turned up there. The trouble was, he couldn’t show his face in the journalists’ club right at the moment.
When he’d first arrived in the city, Pants had spent a lot of evenings in the Pen & Pencil Club, cadging free drinks and even a few meals from the clientelle by claiming to be the nephew of respected journalist Clark DeLeon, until the night that Clark had turned up there himself. It was inevitable, he supposed, that they would encounter each other sooner or later, but he’d been banking on later.
Pants had been right in the middle of telling a couple of cigar smokers at the bar about “Uncle Clark” when somebody tapped him on the shoulder. He’d turned around to find himself facing an older guy with glasses and a short beard. Intuitively he knew something was wrong. Tom Purdom, a music critic who wrote for the Broad Street Review, was standing beside the guy and said, “Look, Vincent, your uncle’s here.” In his memory, the entire club had already fallen silent right, waiting. They knew. They all knew.
Pants had barely made it out of the place alive.
Or could it be skateboarder/weed dealer Arshad Mirou? Here’s a little more about him, from Kelly McQuain.
A crisp, fall Monday morning, and already Arshad Mirou had missed his psychology class, no thanks to SEPTA and the 61 line, the bus always late if it ever came at all. Arshad pushed through traffic on his skateboard instead, dodging pedestrians and the rush of cars, blasting through red lights and swerving past car bumpers with only inches to spare. Arshad felt free, moments like this. Didn’t matter that he was from the mean streets of Strawberry Mansion, where the cracked sidewalks and squat row houses made the world seem composed of anything but strawberries or mansions. Syringes and squats were more like it. Grit and dirt and plastic bags, all of it blowing now like fall leaves in Arshad’s wake.
In the last few weeks, Halloween decorations had sprung up in store fronts and windows. Grinning green witches, cartoony vampires. But no false face could disguise the fact there was a true monster out there.
The Cheesesteak Killer, the TV reporters and news bloggers were calling him—and that monstrous mo-fo was proving bad for Arshad’s business.
Ergo no time, no reason, to stop on Kelly Drive today to sell weed to the rollerbladers, skate rats and college scullers who hung out by the fancy, gingerbread houses along Boat House Row. Nobody was buying much lately, and Arshad knew enough to lay low. Too many of his clients had been tangled up in that mess over the past nine days. First that asshole Hodge, then Joey DeLuca’s idiot roommate and the chick he’d been messing with. A bunch of others, including Hodge’s friend Pants, who’d bought it in some dingy writers’ club in Center City. Spoiled college kids were pushing up daisies all over the goddamn city, and nobody knew what to make of it. He’d followed the story on The Daily Traversty blog, how the cops were hauling in people for questioning left and right, only to let them go when the connections fizzled.
Or could it be one of Philadelphia’s Finest, Detective Chelsea Simon, by Victoria Janssen.
Their Rittenhouse condo was quiet when she let herself in; the cat, Mozzarella, was curled asleep on the back of the leather couch. Chelsea stripped off her suit jacket and locked her gun and its holster in the gun safe, placing her badge in with them. Only then did she lay her phone, keys, and wallet on the marble kitchen island. Arturo sat in the cozy breakfast nook with his nightly espresso, examining the evening’s receipts from his restaurant empire as they rolled in. Chelsea laid her hands on his shoulders and kissed the top of his bald head. “Sell any deconstructed Wagyu cheesesteaks?” “I’m waiting to find out if Craig LeBan is impressed before I give up on it.” He reached up to caress her hand with his. “I missed the news—any breaks in the case?”
Chelsea slid onto the padded banquette next to him, throwing one leg over his lap. She laid her head on his shoulder. It wouldn’t be difficult to fall asleep right here. “More leads, but leads are a dime a dozen, any idiot can drop one. Today an idiot did.”
“It’s following the leads that counts,” Arturo said solemnly.
“You know my rants too well,” Chelsea said.
“Want to hear about some more idiots on Yelp?” Arturo grinned and kissed her. “The case will still be there in the morning.”
“It’s already morning.” Chelsea yawned. “I sent Olive and Laurel home at a reasonable hour, so they can follow up on an interview for me, decide whether to bring the lady in to the precinct.”
“And the mayor? Has he had anything to say to you?”
“Not to me. The Chief, I’m sure. I’m keeping my head down as much as I can. I don’t need politicking along with all the other crap I have to deal with. God help me if I ever make Lieutenant.”
“Don’t worry, I would hire you as a dishwasher in a hot minute,” Arturo said, nuzzling her neck. “I’m imagining you wearing soapsuds right now.”
“Anything besides the soapsuds?”
“That would be telling,” he murmured. “I—“ Chelsea’s cell rang. “Crap,” Arturo said.
“Detective Simon here.”
What happens next? Find out at www.philadelphiastories.org to read our new serial novel, Naked Came the Cheesesteak.
So, why Naked Came the Cheesesteak, anyway?
Here at Philadelphia Stories, we do all kinds of great stuff. Our regular magazine, featuring writers and artists from Pennsylvania, New Jersey, and Delaware comes out four times a year. Philadelphia Stories Jr., features some amazingly talented kids comes out twice a year. The Crimmins Award for Poetry. The McGlinn award for fiction. Push to Publish, our one-day writers’ conference. PS Books, our book division. Our readings. Our master classes.
We want even more people to know what we do. To participate. To read. To write. (And yes, to donate. Always, we’re looking for that.) We wanted to come up with something fun that we’d never done before.
What we came up with was a serial novel.
And it’s a murder mystery. Written collectively by writers of all genres, each bringing something different to the project.
Which brings us back to the title.
In the mid 90’s, a group of South Florida writers, led by Elmore Leonard and Dave Barry, wrote a serial novel called Naked Came the Manatee (the title being itself a riff on another serial novel from the late ‘60s, Naked Came the Stranger). The book was serialized in the Miami Herald, then went to a print edition.
We thought we could do that here. A book that made just as much use of the quirkiness that makes up this city as the other book did with South Florida. And we, unlike South Florida, have cheesesteaks. (Well, maybe they have them, but they suck.)
We’re posting one chapter on the Philadelphia Stories website each Monday for thirteen weeks. We started on November 2, 2015. We’ll be publishing an e-book as well, due out Spring 2016.
We’d like to thank our assistant editors, Jon Busch, Emi London, Tiffany Sumner for their help on this project, Ryan McElroy for his great cover art, and Lena Van, our intern, for her help with promotion.
We hope you’ll check out www.philadelphiastories.org for more to come. — Mitchell Sommers and Tori Bond Co-editors, Naked Came the Cheesesteak
NAKED CAME THE CHEESESTEAK AUTHORS:
DIANE AYRES
VICTORIA JANSSEN RANDALL BROWN
MERRY JONES MARY ANNA EVANS
TONY KNIGHTON GREGORY FROST
DON LAFFERTY
KELLY MCQUAIN NATHANIEL POPKIN KELLY SIMMONS SHAUN HAURIN
WARREN C. LONGMIRE
What Have We Been Up To?
A Philadelphia Stories 2015–2017 Strategic Plan Update
Introduction
One year ago, in the Winter 2014 issue, we published the draft of our three-year strategic plan developed by a committee comprised of members of the Philadelphia Stories community, board, and volunteers who came together with a vision to create a short- and long-term plan for the growth and sustainability of Philadelphia Stories. This plan divided these goals into what we dubbed, “The 3 Ps.”
Below, we offer an update on our progress in these areas to you, a vital member of our community, as a member, writer, reader, and partner. As always, we welcome your feedback and support as we work together to meet our goals and objectives to create a thriving writing community. This plan for the future is based on desired results as articulated in our vision and mission statements.
Vision Statement
Philadelphia Stories seeks to enhance the lives of writers, artists, readers, and supporters throughout the region by encouraging participation in the literary community, increasing the reach of our publications, and enhancing professional development opportunities for writers. To achieve this vision, Philadelphia Stories must strengthen itself as an organization through planning, budgeting, marketing, fundraising, and professional leadership.
Mission Statement
The mission of Philadelphia Stories is to cultivate a community of writers, artists, and readers in the region by mobilizing the spirit and energy of volunteers and supporters throughout the Delaware Valley.
The 3 Ps
PROMOTION:
Philadelphia Stories promotes regional writers through marketing efforts, including events, partnerships, readings, panels, press coverage, ads, and more. In 2015, we fulfilled this goal in the following ways: • Free issue release parties that included readings from authors featured in Philadelphia Stories, Philadelphia Stories Junior, and PS
Books.
• Two national contests: In 2015, Philadelphia Stories hosted the 7th annual Marguerite McGlinn Short Story Contest and the 4th annual
Sandy Crimmins Poetry Contest, which drew hundreds of submissions from across the country. The winners were celebrated at free public awards ceremonies at Rosemont College.
• Promotion of local literary and arts events through social media and a calendar of events on our website.
PUBLICATION:
Our publications are the vehicles through which we specifically connect Philadelphia-area writers with more than 25,000 readers each year. In 2015, we fulfilled this goal in the following ways: • We published 5,000 copies of Philadelphia Stories each quarter and made these free magazines available to every branch of the Free Library of Philadelphia and many other independent bookstores, cafes, and galleries throughout the Delaware Valley.
• We launched the premiere issue of PS Teen in the Fall of 2015 at a release party with our partner, Mighty Writers West.
PS Teen is an annual magazine that will be published each Fall featuring local writers and artists aged 13-18. This launch received a feature article in the Philadelphia Inquirer. We published 2,000 copies of PS Teen and made these free magazines available to every branch of the Free Library of Philadelphia, schools, and other libraries in the area.
• Philadelphia Stories will continue to publish the annual magazine, PS Junior, for local writers and artists aged 12 and younger, each Spring. We published 2,000 copies of PS Junior and made these free magazines available to every branch of the Free Library of Philadelphia and other schools and libraries in the area.
• PS Books, our book division, launched its first serial novel: Naked Came the Cheesesteak, a 13-chapter serial novel written by Philadelphia area writers Diane Ayres, Randall Brown, Mary Anna Evans, Gregory Frost, Shaun Haurin, Victoria Janssen, Merry Jones, Tony Knighton, Don Lafferty, Warren Longmire, Kelly McQuain, Nathaniel Popkin, and Kelly
Simmons. Each chapter is written by a different author, and was posted on the website every Monday for 13 weeks. This launch received a feature article in the Philadelphia Inquirer.
Our specific objectives for 2015-2017 are to increase the number of magazine publications printed so we can expand our outreach to more libraries in surrounding counties like Montgomery, Bucks, Chester, and Camden.
PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT:
Philadelphia Stories will continue its efforts to offer affordable workshops and other professional development opportunities for writers. In 2015, we fulfilled this goal in the following ways: • We hosted the 7th annual Push to Publish conference on Saturday, October 10, featuring keynote speaker, Bonnie Jo Campbell.
• We hosted two master classes the day before the Push to Publish conference; one facilitated by award-winning author, Bonnie Jo Campbell, and the other by literary agent, Katharine Sands.
• We hosted the first “LitLife Poetry Festival,” which offered a day of master classes, discussions, readings, a Literary Death Match, and we celebrated of the Sandy Crimmins Poetry Prize and Montgomery County Poet Laureate winners.
• We hosted the first “Writers at Work: Managing the Business of Being An Author” conference featuring keynote speaker, literary agent Eric Smith. This one-day conference will provide invaluable advice you can use not just to sell more books, but to find the work-life balance that can be especially challenging for writers. • We hosted our first write-a-thons—one over the summer as part of the Chestnut Hill Book Festival, and another in November at The Athenaeum of Philadelphia. Attendees spent the day writing together using prompts (or not), enjoying refreshments, and sharing their work at an open reading.
WHAT’S NEXT?
Philadelphia Stories will continue to share its annual results with our community. We welcome your feedback! You can send comments and questions to info@PhiladelphiaStories.org.
Special thanks to our Strategic Planning Committee for their hard work on putting this plan together: Barbara Bloom Stephanie Boudwin Alison Hicks Alex Husted Kerri Schuster Sharon Sood Mitch Sommers Louise Turan Polia Tzvetanova