faithful friEndS

Ruth told Naomi, “Do not urge me to leave you... For where you go I will go….” (Ruth 1:16) ESV

The day I dreaded finally came. For months prior, every funeral viewing left me with a feeling of foreboding. It was surreal to comfort someone in their loss when I knew my own loss was approaching, to walk so closely with the dying. Though I prayed for a miracle on Earth, the moment inevitably arrived. My son died, and the funeral viewing took place. I feared what I would see behind those closed doors—a reality I didn’t want to accept.

The sight of my son in a casket was truly awful. The pain tore through my body until I felt as though I could barely stand. Forcibly, I moved away to look at the many pictures of his smiling face placed throughout the room. I wanted to remember him, not in death, but as I knew he was now—completely healed, full of life and joy eternal.

I worried mental images from that day would haunt me in the weeks and months to come. Although the tragic details and feelings of loss have stayed with me, they haven’t left me despairing. For in those dark hours, I also remember the loving presence of three faithful friends.

During the months that Austin spent in hospice care, I contacted three friends individually to ask that they stand by my side at the viewing. I feared well-intentioned but insensitive remarks, and my inability to withstand the heartbreak they would bring. And stand by me they did! They rearranged schedules, temporarily set aside their families’ needs, and stepped out of comfort zones to be with me. From the moment the first person offered condolences until the last people passed through the line, my friends remained. Every time I turned around, those three faces were nearby. They brought me tissues and snuck me Diet Coke. They ministered through reassurances and traffic patrol. They cried and laughed with me, and when there were no words, they were quiet.

Most importantly, they offered their unwavering presence. Like

Job’s friends who loved him best in those first days by sitting silently with him in his pain (Job 2:13), and Ruth’s courageous loyalty to Naomi even in the face of her own grief (Ruth 1:16), my three friends remained. I doubt they will ever know how much their presence meant to me then and now. On one of the worst days of my life, I felt God’s grace holding me up through the kindness of others.

“She said to them, ‘Do not call me Naomi; call me Mara, for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me. I went away full, and the Lord has brought me back empty.’” (Ruth 1:20-21) ESV

Naomi means “sweetness,” but she changed her name to Mara (a derivative of my name), which means “bitter.” However, Naomi and I not only share a namesake, we have both known the stinging pain of loss and feeling abandoned by God. If the similarities ended there, we would be pitied indeed. Yet, we also had the great privilege of sharing in the extravagant grace and merciful comfort of God. Did Naomi realize the gifts of grace and steadfast love God gave her? I know I am not always aware of these gifts in my own life. But God did bless Naomi. He extended His kindness when He gave her a faithful companion and daughter in Ruth. Later, He grew her family and filled her empty arms once again.

God didn’t give Naomi these gifts because she deserved them or because He felt sorry for her. God gave because He is kind and good. He didn’t ‘replace’ what she had lost. Grief doesn’t so easily leave our side. In the time of her greatest affliction, He comforted Naomi with family and provision and belonging. His love poured out on Naomi not because of who she was, but because of who He is. On Mount Sinai the Lord described Himself to Moses as “God [who is] merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness” (Exodus 34:6). He was this God to Naomi, and He has been this same God to me.

I still struggle with bitterness and doubt. I don’t understand the trauma we’ve experienced and have asked God tough questions. He hasn’t always answered in ways I wanted, but He has given me something greater. He has answered with His presence, and sometimes His presence has

“Now let your unfailing love comfort me . . . Surround me with your tender mercies so I may live.” (Psalm 119:76-77) NLT

About the Writer: Marie Drakulic lives with her family in Erie, Pa where they serve at Flagship Free Will Baptist Church. She is happy to surround herself with coffee, books, and the beach in any season. Marie wants to thank all those who have prayed and supported her family during Austin’s illness and those who continue to uphold them in prayer as they journey and grow through grief. Marie is working on a master’s in counseling so she can be better equipped to come alongside others who are hurting.

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