The ABCs of Franchising... Accusing Blaming and Complaining

by Nancy Friedman

Many offices we see — both large and small — seem to have three personalities. Those are the folks who accuse, those who blame and those who complain a lot. It is no fun being around them, and it is certainly no fun working with them. They can be totally exhausting.

But when we understand them, it is easier to coach them into a bit more positive behavior. Some are tougher nuts to crack than others, but let’s take a look at each of them and see if we can at look at ways to move the needle. It is difficult to change habits, isn’t it? But it can be done. Just by changing a few words around.

THE ACCUSER

Accusing. Ah, that is so easy, isn’t it? To ACCUSE someone. “BOB did it. Not me.” Let’s take a simple thing. A non-threatening situation. An everyday happening.

Let's say my stapler is missing off my desk. It's not where I left it or where it should be. "Who took my stapler?" is accusing someone. Not meaning to be. But that is an accusatory statement.

Let's say my stapler is missing off my desk. It's not where I left it or where it should be. "Who took my stapler?" is accusing someone. Not meaning to be. But that is an accusatory statement.

NON-ACCUSING: "Has anyone seen my stapler?" Or "Anyone know where I might have put my stapler?" Sounds a little better, right?

See the difference? One is accusing and one is taking ownership. Plus, the person who might have taken the stapler usually is very forthcoming with apologies.

Accusing people without double checking can be extremely dangerous and cause unnecessary trouble, irritation and frustration. Be a double-checker on everything.

BLAMING

Again, keeping it simple. While accusing and blaming sound similar, they are not. Blaming can be items vs. people.

EXAMPLE:

The blamer says: "Wow, I'm gonna be late because of the snow that's supposed to be heading out our way."

Responsible person says: “I will leave a bit earlier tomorrow morning. If the snow comes, it could make for bad traffic and I don’t want to be late for work.”

Do we blame the snow? Why? See the difference? We blame ‘things’ as well as people. We blame weather. We blame objects. Items that are not even able to defend themselves. Stop being a blamer and take some ownership. Be responsible!

Blamers often and usually do not really have all the facts. Sometimes we need to be detectives.

COMPLAINING

How many times in JULY do you hear "Jeez, it's hot today"?

Well, guess what? It is JULY in New Orleans. Or St Louis. Or Miami. It gets hot in the summer. And FYI, it gets cold in the winter if you live in wintry-weather country. Why complain about the obvious things you already know?

And this happens too. I can’t stand it when someone complains about…let’s say… having a headache and I ask them if they have taken anything for it to reduce the discomfort. Answer: “NOPE.” Then why complain? If you are not doing anything to help yourself, do not complain!

Here are some recent ABCs that happened to me.

• Store: (Accusing: On why they couldn’t find my information.) “Your files aren’t linked.” (This after a 30-minute wait because the salesperson couldn’t find my file on their computer.) He made it sound as though it was MY FAULT!

• Pharmacy: (Blaming ME on why my RX wasn’t ready and in an unpleasant voice at that.) “Did the doctor tell you this was a special compound?” Like it was my fault the doctor didn’t tell me.

• Retail: (Complaining salesperson to me.) “It’s so busy today, I haven’t even had lunch.” He is forgetting “BUSY IS GOOD.” Not busy possibly means no job.

Let us train our staff not to be Accusers, Blamers, or Complainers. It is much nicer that way. And isn’t that the way it is supposed to be? Nicer!

COVID is an excuse to accuse/ blame/and complain. Do not fall for it.

About Nancy Friedman:

Nancy Friedman is a popular speaker in the franchise industry and a highly respected customer service expert. Email: Nancyf@telephonedoctor.com. During COVID, call her cell at 314-276-1012 or office: 314-291-1012 (central time) and visit www.nancyfriedman.com Need a company Zoom meeting? Or a 30-minute RX Shot in the Arm for your team? We’d love to share our tips, ideas, skills and techniques with you and your team.