TO YOU GREEN EYES (Premio Nacional de Literatura Juvenil en Inglés, Colegio Arturo Soria) By Celia Desmarescaux
Oliver Miller disappeared just a few days before his 17th birthday. He left no clues behind nor did he seem like he wanted to disappear. He was the kind of guy who liked to be silent, listen to music, and read or write... Which is what made Silvia Williams attracted to him. Silvia never really spoke to Oliver because she attended a weekly boarding school so every weekend or holiday when she returned home, she would always see him at the local park near their neighbourhood, sitting under the same cherry blossom tree. Sometimes he would look at her and give her a small smile but she would be too shy to go near him, so she would return it with a little wave. This went on and on for almost two years, until one day she noticed he wasn’t there. Silvia couldn’t help feeling a little worried but ignored it, thinking that maybe he had gone on Holiday or maybe he had found another spot to write. She continued her weekly walk home. Days passed as Silvia got more and more worried. She couldn’t really do anything to find him, being that she didn’t know anyone who knew him personally. She got out of bed and walked down the stairs to find her mother in the kitchen. ‘’Good morning sweetie’’ her mother said, as she gave Silvia a glass of milk. Silvia managed to force a smile. ‘’Good morning Mum’’ she replied. She couldn’t help feeling very worried. It was like she was scared for him. Lately she had developed strange feelings for Oliver, like every time she thought about him her heart would race very quickly and he would never really leave her mind. No, she thought. It can’t be, I can’t have a crush on him! At the thought of this, she almost choked and spilled her milk.
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‘’Alright Silv, I’m going to work. Don’t stay at home all day okay? You’re on Holidays, but you still need to go and buy the groceries for me’’ her mother announced while taking her car keys. Silvia nodded and forced another smile. Her mother opened the door and stopped in front of the doorframe. ‘’Are you okay Silv?’’ she asked Silvia with a worried expression on her face. ‘’Yeah, I’m fine mum’’ Silvia replied, ‘’don’t worry, I’ll be okay’’. Her mum smiled and left for work. But Silvia wasn’t fine, she was worried. Very worried. After breakfast, Silvia went to change clothes. She looked at herself in the mirror and sighed. She stared at her green eyes which were tired, her brown and straight hair which were in a mess, and her tanned skin which was covered in freckles. I’ll never be like the other girls she thought, and put on a white t- shirt, a pair of jeans, and red converse. As she opened her front door, she found something lying on the entrance. It was a black journal which had: ‘’Oliver’’ engraved on the front cover. Her eyes widened as she doubted whether to take the journal or not. Silvia looked around to see if she saw anyone who might have dropped if off, but there was no one. Well, it does say Oliver... she thought, and kneeled down to take the journal and went back inside her house. She set it on the dining table, and stared at it for a few seconds. Oliver... she thought to herself once more and opened the journal. 24th May. Dear Journal, I’ve had a hard time today. I always have, I guess. There was never really a time when I was alright but aside from that, there’s this girl I keep seeing every Friday at the local park. At the beginning I never really paid much attention to her but she’s very pretty.
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Silvia smiled, and kept reading.
29th May. Dear Journal, I got bullied again today. This time was because the bullies found out I kept a journal, so they tore almost all the pages... including the drawing I made of that girl I keep seeing every weekend. 30th May. Dear Journal, Today is finally Friday. I can see her again, and maybe talk to her. 30th May. Dear Journal, I wasn’t able to talk to her, but I waved at her and she smiled. Her smile was really pretty. I wish I could’ve spoken to her... Oh no, I hear my father coming. *This is the flower I wanted to give to her. Silvia frowned and found a flower taped on the next page. It was a daisy, one of her favourite flowers. 2nd June. Dear Journal, I think I’m slowly giving up on life. It seems pretty pointless if you ask me; we basically spend our whole lives working for the life we want, and before you know it... times up. And when I mean times up, I mean we die. Yeah, sounds horrible but I’ve always wanted to know how dying felt like. I’m not suicidal or anything, I’m just curious. I should’ve asked my grandfather that when I went to his grave.
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5th June. Dear Journal, I got a beating from my alcoholic father again today. My mum didn’t do anything, she just stood there and practically stared at me getting hit. It really disturbed me. My family is practically broken and I want to do something about it, but the worst thing is, I can’t. 5th June, Dear Journal, I am writing this as I’m waiting for the girl with the pretty smile. I always wait below the cherry blossom tree, just because I feel safe and I can get a clear view of the pedestrian crossing; where she gets dropped off by her school bus. For some reason, I always see her on Fridays only. I guess she goes to a boarding school or something. Right on cue, there she is. I’m not stalking her or anything, I just happen to be looking around and she seems to be ‘’around’’. How cheeky of me. Stalker thought Silvia, and continued reading. 10th June. Dear Journal, I really can’t stand my parents. I’m getting really tired of them. I might as well just disappear, but then I won’t be able to speak to the girl or get to know her. Since last year, I’ve been going to the local park and sitting under the cherry blossom tree just to wait and catch a glimpse of her every time she walked by. Every time she smiled at me, I felt like she was my only friend and its weird
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being that I never even spoke to her directly before, but she makes me feel a way I’ve never felt before. I think I might love her. I’m crazy I know, but so is everyone else. Silvia gasped when she read that Oliver wanted to disappear. She never really thought he was broken inside, and now she wanted to help him more than ever. Tears started to appear and it stung her eyes so much, she had to stop reading. Enough for today, she thought and she closed the journal. She wiped away her tears and walked up to her bedroom. It was then she had realised that she was also in love with him. 11th June. Dear Journal, My parents started to throw things around the house again. Preferably plates, at each other. It was horrible. Oh, you’re probably thinking: why aren’t you at school? Yeah well truth is, I’m sick. I don’t have a flu, if that’s what you’re thinking. No. I have cancer and I don’t think I’ll survive. At this point, Silvia was shocked. The following pages were blank. Where is he? Was he depressed? What happened to him? She thought. She was very worried now. When will she be able to see those blue eyes looking at her all over again? Desperate for an answer, she flicked the pages until the last page. It was coloured in black and there was a note stuck on it. 22nd July. I’m at the hospital now. I’ll finally feel what it feels like to die. Not that I wanted to, of course, but I guess things would rather be better off without another disturbance in the world. Truth is, I never really had any friends; I either trusted too much or they left me slowly. And my parents never really cared so much about me, they’d always fight and it was like I was never there. Maybe it is a good idea to die.
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To the girl with green eyes, when you look at the stars, I hope you remember me. Silvia was crying now; her throat burned like fire and her eyes stung so much. She had a strange kind of pain in her chest, the kind that never really will go away. It was the worst kind of pain, because she had lost someone she loved. She had loved him in silence and it was the worst kind of distance. The note came with a picture of Oliver. He was smiling and his ocean-blue eyes showed no life, but he had hope. He hadn’t given up yet. Freckles invaded most of his face, and his black hair fell on his face. ‘’I’m so sorry I couldn’t save you, Oliver’’ Silvia said silently, while wiping away her tears. ‘’I will remember you. Forever.’’ The End.
April 2015 Celia Lilianne Desmarescaux Santos
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