Christmas Traditions 2011

PITTSBURGH

Complimentary issue from your CatholiC Community newspaper

Catholic

MAGAZINE

Featuring:

Christmas Traditions

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2 Pittsburgh Catholic Magazine

Christmas Traditions 2011

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Inside this issue: 6-7 | We are family:

10 | Madonna and child:

8 | Christmas Eve 2001:

12 | Local monastery:

9 | Balthazar’s view:

16 | Coping with loss:

A simple message to all at Christmas.

This priest will never forget it.

Some thoughts from the crèche.

As depicted by artists.

Home for holiday gifts.

Tips on surviving the holidays.

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Christmas Traditions 2011

Pittsburgh Catholic Magazine 3

PITTSBURGH

Catholic MAGAZINE 135 First Ave. • Suite 200 Pittsburgh, PA 15222 1-800-392-4670 www.pittsburghcatholic.org

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18 | Christmas in the ‘Burgh: From the diocesan archives.

20 | A labor of love:

Parishioners come together on organ project.

22 | Savory tradition:

Viva the feast of seven fishes.

26 | Fröhliche Weihnachten!

20

30 | Family business:

Who to share the holidays with.

31 | Our first Christmas: Newlyweds prepare.

34 | Tug on the heart: Sappy songs and SUVs.

37 | La Befana:

Italian Christmas folklore.

Christmas in Germany.

29 | Don’t forget the schmaltz: Hard to imagine a Christmas without it.

RGH

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Catholic

On the cover...

St. Francis and the Crib

Vol. 3, No. 4 Publisher | Bishop David A. Zubik General Manager | Robert P. Lockwood Editor | William Cone Operations Manager | Carmella Weismantle Christmas Traditions Project Editor John W. Franko Associate Editors Phil Taylor (Special Projects) Chuck Moody (News) Senior Staff Writer | Patricia Bartos Staff Writer | John W. Franko Graphic Designers David Pagesh | Debbie Skatell-Wehner Director of Advertising | John Connolly Account Executives Michael A. Check | Paul Crowe Michael Wire Circulation Mgr./Parish News Coord.

Peggy Zezza

INE MAGAZ

Francis would smile at our nice varnished cribs, though he would bless any home that has one. Probably he would prefer those set up outdoors with live animals. And if he were to stand by one and preach today, he might say something like this: “Look deeper than this pleasant scene. See your God become your food for eternity in a feeding place for animals. See the simple bands wound around the helpless baby, not the ions as Tradit Christm embroidered dress. See a man and woman wearing the clothes of the poor. See and smell the animals. Feel the cold and dirt of the cave, lighted only by a little fire. And adore your God, who took a human heart that could know the greatest love and the sharpest pain, arms that could embrace the sinners, the neurotics, the lepers, and hands that could touch cheeks running with tears, and be pierced with nails. Adore your poor and humble God.” :

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Franciscan Father Leonard Foley Excerpted from St. Anthony Messenger (1989) Cover design by Debbie Skatell-Wehner

Administrative Assistant | Amanda Wahlen

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Office Assistant | Caitlin Arendash-Labyoda

Pittsburgh Catholic Magazine is a complimentary publication available at 206 parishes in the Diocese of Pittsburgh from the Pittsburgh Catholic Publishing Associates, Inc. Paid, first-class delivered subscriptions are available; for details, see ad on page 28.

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Pittsburgh Catholic Magazine 5

A simple bunny’s message to all at Christmas From Martin Bell’s short story “Barrington Bunny” found in his book “The Way of the Wolf.” This is the story of Barrington Bunny and a message to all at Christmas and Easter.

O

nce upon a time in a large forest there lived a very furry bunny. He had one lop ear, a tiny black nose, and unusually shiny eyes. His name was Barrington.

Barrington was not really a very handsome bunny.

He was brown and speckled and his ears didn’t stand up right. But he could hop, and he was, as I have said, very furry.

In a way, winter is fun for bunnies. After all, it gives them an opportunity to hop in the snow and then turn around to see where they have hopped. So, in a way, winter was fun for Barrington.

But in another way winter made Barrington sad.

For, you see, winter marked the time where all of the animal families got together in their cozy homes to celebrate Christmas. He could hop, and he was very furry. But as far as Barrington knew, he was the only bunny in the forest.

When Christmas Eve finally came, Barrington did not feel like going home all by himself. So he decided

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6 Pittsburgh Catholic Magazine

he would hop for awhile in the clearing at the center of the forest.

Hop. Hop. Hippity-hop.

Barrington made tracks in the fresh snow.

Hop. Hop. Hippity-hop.

Then he cocked his head and looked back at the wonderful designs he had made.

“Bunnies,” he thought to himself, “can hop. And they are very warm, too, because of how furry they are.”

(But Barrington didn’t really know whether or not this was true of all bunnies, since he had never met another bunny.)

When it got too dark to see the tracks he was making, Barrington made up his mind to go home.

On his way, however, he passed a large oak tree.

High in the branches there was a great deal of excited chattering going on. Barrington looked up. It was a squirrel family! What a marvelous time they seemed to be having.

“Hello, up there,” called Barrington.

“Hello, down there,” came the reply.

“Having a Christmas party?” asked Barrington.

“Oh, yes!” answered the squirrels. “It’s Christmas Eve. Everybody is having a Christmas party!”

“May I come to your party?” said Barrington softly.

“Are you a squirrel?”

“No.” “What are you, then?”

“A bunny.”

“A bunny?”

“Yes.” “Well, how can you come to the party if you’re a bunny? Bunnies can’t climb trees.”

“That’s true,” said Barrington thoughtfully. “But I can hop and I’m very furry and warm.”

“We’re sorry,” called the squirrels. “We don’t know anything about hopping and being furry, but we do know that in order to come to our house you have to be able to climb trees.”

“Oh, well,” said Barrington. “Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas,” chattered the squirrels.

And the unfortunate bunny hopped off toward his tiny house.

It was beginning to snow when Barrington reached the river. Near the river bank was a

wonderfully constructed house of sticks and mud. Inside there was singing.

“It’s the beavers,” thought Barrington.

“Maybe they will let me come to their party.”

And so he knocked on the door.

“Who’s out there?” called a voice.

“Barrington Bunny,” he replied.

There was a long pause and then a shiny beaver head broke the water.

“Hello, Barrington,” said the beaver.

“May I come to your Christmas party?” asked Barrington.

The beaver thought for awhile and then he said, “I suppose so. Do you know how to swim?”

“No,” said Barrington, “but I can hop and I am very furry and warm.”

“Sorry,” said the beaver. “I don’t know anything about hopping and being furry, but I do know that in order to come to our house you have to be able to swim.”

“Oh, well,” Barrington muttered, his eyes filling with tears. “I suppose that’s true — Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas,” called the beaver. And he disappeared beneath the surface of the water.

Even as furry as he was, Barrington was starting to get cold. And the snow was falling so hard that his tiny, bunny eyes could scarcely see what was ahead of him.

He was almost home, however, when he heard the excited squeaking of field mice beneath the ground.

“It’s a party,” thought Barrington. And suddenly he blurted out through his tears, “Hello, field mice.

This is Barrington Bunny. May I come to your party?”

But the wind was howling so loudly and Barrington was sobbing so much that no one heard him.

And when there was no response at all, Barrington just sat down in the snow and began to cry with all his might.

“Bunnies,” he thought, "aren’t any good to anyone.

What good is it to be furry and to be able to hop if you don’t have any family on Christmas Eve?” Barrington cried and cried. When he stopped crying he began to bite on his bunny’s foot, but he did not move from where he was sitting in the snow.

Suddenly, Barrington was aware he was not alone.

He looked up and strained his shiny eyes to see who was there.

Christmas Traditions 2011

To his surprise he saw a great silver wolf. The wolf was large and strong and his eyes flashed fire. He was the most beautiful animal Barrington had ever seen.

For a long time the silver wolf didn’t say anything at all. He just stood there and looked at Barrington with those terrible eyes.

Then slowly and deliberately the wolf spoke. “Barrington,� he asked in a gentle voice, “why are you sitting in the snow?� “Because it’s Christmas Eve,� said Barrington, “and I don’t have any family, and bunnies aren’t any good to anyone.� “Bunnies are, too, good,� said the wolf. “Bunnies can hop and they are very warm.� “What good is that?� Barrington sniffed. “It is very good indeed,� the wolf went on, “because it is a gift that bunnies are given, a free gift with no strings attached. And every gift that is given to anyone is given for a reason. Someday you will see why it is good to hop and to be warm and furry.� “But it’s Christmas,� moaned Barrington, “and I’m all alone. I don’t have any family at all.� “Of course you do,� replied the great silver wolf. “All of the animals in the forest are your family.�

And then the wolf disappeared. He simply wasn’t there. Barrington had only blinked his eyes, and when he looked — the wolf was gone. “All of the animals in the forest are my family,� thought Barrington. “It’s good to be a bunny.

Bunnies can hop. That’s a gift.� And then he said it again. “A gift. A free gift.�

On in the night Barrington worked. First he found the best stick he could. (And that was difficult because of the snow.)

Then hop. Hop. Hippity-hop. To beaver’s house.

He left the stick just outside the door. With a note on it that read: “Here is a good stick for your house.

It is a gift. A free gift. No strings attached. Signed, a member of your family.� “It is a good thing that I can hop," he thought, “because the snow is very deep.�

Then Barrington dug and dug. Soon he had gathered together enough dead leaves and grass to make the squirrels’ nest warmer. Hop. Hop. Hippity-hop.

He laid the grass and leaves just under the large oak tree and attached this message: “A gift. A free gift. From a member of your family.�

It was late when Barrington finally started home.

And what made things worse was that he knew a blizzard was beginning.

Hop. Hop. Hippity-hop.

Soon poor Barrington was lost. The wind howled furiously, and it was very, very cold. “It certainly is cold,� he said out loud. “It’s a good thing I’m so furry.

But if I don’t find my way home pretty soon I might freeze!�

Squeak. Squeak ...

And then he saw it — a baby field mouse lost in the snow. And the little mouse was crying. “Hello, little mouse,� Barrington called.

Christmas Traditions 2011

“Don’t cry. I’ll be right there.� Hippity-hop, and Barrington was beside the tiny mouse. “I’m lost,� sobbed the little fellow. “I’ll never find my way home, and I know I’m going to freeze.� “You won’t freeze,� said Barrington. “I’m a bunny and bunnies are very furry and warm. You stay right where you are and I’ll cover you up.�

Barrington lay on top of the little mouse and hugged him tight. The tiny fellow felt himself surrounded by warm fur. He cried for awhile but soon, snug and warm, he fell asleep.

Barrington had only two thoughts that long, cold night. First he thought, “It’s good to be a bunny.

Bunnies are very furry and warm.� And then, when he felt the heart of the tiny mouse beating regularly, he thought, “All the animals in the forest are my family.�

Next morning, the field mice found their little boy, asleep in the snow, warm and snug beneath the furry carcass of a dead bunny. Their relief and excitement was so great that they didn’t even think

to question where the bunny had come from.

And as for the beavers and the squirrels, they still wonder which member of their family left the little gift for them that Christmas Eve. After the field mice had left, Barrington’s frozen body simply lay in the snow. There was no sound except that of the howling wind. And no one anywhere in the forest noticed the great silver wolf who came to stand beside that brown, lop-eared carcass.

But the wolf did come.

And he stood there.

Without moving or saying a word.

All Christmas Day. Until it was night.

And then he disappeared into the forest.

Another GIFT for you ...

Father Ron Lengwin, diocesan general secretary and spokesman, quotes the following story on his annual Christmas radio broadcast over KDKA 1020.

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Pittsburgh Catholic Magazine 7

I’ll never forget Christmas Eve 2001

By FATHER THOMAS J. BURKE

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8 Pittsburgh Catholic Magazine

Christmas season is a time for memories. We all can pause and reflect on those special times that we were with family and friends celebrating the birth of Christ and spending quality time with loved ones with a meal and sharing Christmas presents.

Christmas can also be a time to remember our loved ones who are no longer physically here but are spiritually with us.

2011 has been a special year for me as I celebrate my 10th anniversary of priesthood. It is hard to believe how quickly the 10 years have gone. All the baptisms, weddings and funerals I have celebrated, the people I have met, and the friendships that I have shared are a true blessing. I love being a priest!

The most memorable Christmas for me was back in 2001 when I was a “rookie priest” just ordained on May 26, 2001, by then-Bishop Donald Wuerl.

My first parish assignment was at St. Alphonsus in Wexford. I will never forget what happened on Christmas Eve, Dec. 24, 2001. I had just finished the children’s Mass in the early evening and was walking back into the rectory to get some dinner and relax before getting ready to celebrate the 10 p.m. Christmas Eve Mass.

As I walked into the rectory the phone rang and the pastor, Father Peter Murphy, answered it. He was just getting ready to walk over to church to celebrate the next early evening Mass and asked if I could take the call.

I answered the phone and it was the Northern Regional Police Department. They were looking for a priest

to go anoint a man in McCandless Township who was ready to “go home with the Lord.” I grabbed my coat and anointing oils and hopped in my car and drove toward the house.

Upon arriving at the townhouse, I met the man’s wife, Mary, at the door.

She took me upstairs to the room where Tony was, and I blessed him. As soon as I was finished with the sacrament of anointing, Tony took his last breath.

It was a very emotional experience for this “Rookie Priest” who just a few hours earlier was smiling and having an emotional time of my life celebrating my very first Christmas Mass with the children of the parish, and now I was sitting with a grieving wife who just lost the love of her life, her husband, on Christmas Eve. Mary asked me to conduct Tony’s funeral, and as the months pased she kept in contact with me via the telephone and mail. Over the years, Mary and I have stayed in contact.

Ten Christmases later I still remember taking that phone call, the drive down Route 19, and that first time I walked into that room Christmas Eve to see Tony take his last breath.

Christmas time is a time to celebrate life, family and friends. The light of Christ shines on us all by what we say and do. Let the birth of Christ help us shine light on the darkness of this world. No matter where we are, or what obstacles we face this coming new year of 2012, always keep the faith and FULLY RELY ON GOD! Father Burke is pastor of Good Shepherd Parish in Braddock.

Christmas Traditions 2011

oughts

from the Crche

By JOHN FRANKO

I

t is so cold. The baby in the manger must feel it, and yet there is a beautiful smile upon his face.

I’m struck by the beauty of his mother gazing lovingly upon his face as his father stands guard.

As one of the three Magi, I, Balthazar, stand ready to give him homage.

It is snowing lightly, but there is a beautiful nighttime peace here at the Pittsburgh Creche at the USX Tower Plaza on Grant Street in Downtown Pittsburgh.

It really is a remarkable scene before me. Pietro Simonelli did a wonderful job of designing our figures. Angels kneel on each side of the Holy Family, and another one watches over from above.

Shepherds are standing by with their sheep, and a peasant girl bearing fruit watches with her child.

Oh no, here comes a group of teenage guys. They Their garments are much more simple than mine, but they catch my eye nonetheless. The Sisters of the jostle each other and goof around.

That’s odd. They stop and just gaze up at the creche, Holy Family of Nazareth and the Sisters of the Holy then quietly move on.

Spirit did a wonderful job of making our clothing.

Despite the cold and snow, a good number of See Crèche ON page 24 people are joining us tonight.

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Christmas Traditions 2011

Pittsburgh Catholic Magazine 9

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Christmas Traditions 2011

Pittsburgh Catholic Magazine 11

Benedictine Gift Shop, a holiday treasure trove Falling autumn leaves and cool crisp air remind us that the beautiful season of Advent is just around the corner. Traditionally, Advent calls all of us to prepare for Christ’s birthday. During this time, we not only prepare our hearts but we also decorate our homes and plan festive family celebrations in remembrance of God’s great gift of himself.

Gift giving is an important part of showing our love to one another so we try to find just the right item for that special someone. A gift is a treasure given as part of our heart and is chosen with loving care. Handmade gifts often meet the need to find something that is unique and special for our family and friends.

Come to the Sisters’ Gift Shop at the Benedictine Monastery on Perrysville Avenue,

Photos by Pam Gianoglio

and you will easily find the gift your heart desires. A variety of lovely times fill the store and are perfect for stuffing stockings or to tuck away under the tree as a great surprise.

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Do come and visit the monastery and while there browse the gift shop. You will be surprised, delighted and so happy to leave with just the right treasures for those you love, and you will help a worthy cause at the same time.

Other gift shops run by religious communities: Christmas Centerpieces Sister Sandra Sharon Sisters of the Holy Family of Nazareth, Bellevue 412-931-4775 Sisters of St. Francis of the Providence of God, Whitehall 412-882-9911 Sisters of St. Joseph, Baden 724-869-2151 EXT 6244 Little Sisters of the Poor, Pittsburgh’s North Side 412-307-1100

12 Pittsburgh Catholic Magazine

Christmas Traditions 2011

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Christmas Traditions 2011

Pittsburgh Catholic Magazine 13

O Come, O Come Emmanuel 10 ways to prepare for Advent A

dvent is a time of preparation for the coming of the Christ Child, but in the midst of the pre-Christmas frenzy, it’s easy to lose sight of the profound spiritual importance of the Advent season. Your greatest temptation during Advent will be scrimping on your spiritual needs because there are so many other things going on!

There are presents to make or buy, cookies to bake, cards to mail, parties to plan, gifts to wrap and trees to decorate. Even your parish can put demands on your time with choir practices, pageant rehearsals, candy sales, food collections for the poor and Advent evenings of reflection.

There’s nothing wrong with pre-Christmas prepa-

rations. But it’s important to balance the sacred part of the Advent season with all of the other things you are doing. If you don’t make time for quiet reflection, prayer and conversion of heart, you will find yourself physically, emotionally and spiritually exhausted by Christmas Day. Your Christmas celebration will look perfect on the surface, but will feel spiritually unsatisfying. You will have a hard time experiencing the joy and peace that the Babe in Bethlehem brings.

Keeping a balance between the spiritual and the secular will require a little planning on your part.

Start by making a list of everything that needs to be done. Then block into your calendar specific times every day for personal prayer, spiritual reading and reflection.

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As you move through Advent you will begin to relish those quiet moments in your day. They will become like a spiritual port in a secular storm. The prayer time will restore your spirit. The spiritual insights will help to keep you focused. You may like it so much that you’ll decide to carry over into the New Year the practice of setting aside daily quiet time with God.

Ten ways to get more out of Advent Here are some simple ways to incorporate traditional Advent practices into your busy schedule: Reflect on Advent as a time of waiting. The idea of waiting is not popular in our culture of instant gratification, but it creates in us a new kind of self-discipline that helps us to appreciate the present moment and look to the future with peaceful anticipation.

Turn your breathing into a prayer. Take a few deep breaths throughout the day and imagine that God’s love is flowing through you to every part of your body. As you exhale, let go of tension, worry and anything else that is not of God. Long for the Lord. Make it a habit of silently praying, “Come, Lord Jesus.”

Unite with Mary. Set aside time once a day to join Our Lady in praying the Canticle of Mary (see Lk 1:46-55).

Do something nice for someone every day. It might be an encouraging word, a phone call, a note of appreciation or a little act of kindness.

Get rid of grudges. Use Advent as an opportunity to let go of any anger or resentment that you might be holding onto.

Pray for patience. If you find yourself becoming anxious or upset, ask the Lord for the gift of patience. Then make a conscious effort to be a more patient person.

Offer up something painful or difficult in your life. The best way to transform trials and tensions is to turn them into a prayer.

Receive the sacrament of reconciliation. Attend your parish penance service and take advantage of the opportunity to cleanse your soul in preparation for the coming of Jesus.

Think about the special gifts and talents God has given you. How are you using these gifts?

Christmas Traditions 2011

trivia

Christmas

ATTENTION:

What was the name of the cookie used in KDKA’s Children’s hospital campaign?

(Farkleberry)

"How the Grinch Stole Christmas!" is one of the best-known children’s books by what author?

(Dr. Seuss)

What department store on 34th Street did Kris Kringle work at?

(Macy’s)

Who was the first ghost to visit Mr. Scrooge?

(ghost of Jacob Marley)

Which state produces the most of the nation’s Christmas trees?

(Oregon)

Which president was the first to decorate the White House Christmas tree?

(Franklin Pierce)

Which Christmas movie has been played more than any other?

Pre-order your 2012 Pittsburgh Catholic Magazine ads and take advantage of our frequency discount program!!

Contact our Director of Advertising *John Connolly to reserve your space.

Below are the 2011 magazine covers and their corresponding 2012 publication dates & deadlines.

("It’s a Wonderful Life")

Who decided the date for Christmas would be Dec. 25?

(Pope Julius I)

What do traditional Ukrainians put on their Christmas tree for good luck?

(A spider’s web)

When do most Americans put up a Christmas tree?

(weekend after Thanksgiving)

When do most Europeans put up a Christmas tree?

February 2012 Deadline: 1/19/12

March 2012

April 2012

Deadline: 2/23/12

Deadline: 3/29/12

(Christmas Eve)

After Joseph, Mary and Jesus left Bethlehem, they went to what country?

(Egypt)

Advent means?

(Coming)

Name the three reindeer whose names begin with “D.”

(Dasher, Donner and Dancer)

The legend of Santa Claus, the jolly old elf who brings Christmas gifts to good little boys and girls, evolved from the European custom of celebrating the life of a saint known as a generous man and protector of children. Who was he?

June 2012 Deadline: 5/24/12

(St. Nicholas)

(Alabama in 1836)

"Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" was originally created for which department store?

(Montgomery Ward for a 1930s holiday promotion) (364)

("Do They Know It's Christmas") (Clarence)

Which Christmas carol was actually written for Thanksgiving?

(Jingle Bells)

Which country first used the Christmas stamp?

(Canada)

Christmas Traditions 2011

October 2012 Deadline: 9/7/12

Deadline: 4/19/12

May 2012

If you received every gift in the “Twelve Days of Christmas” how many gifts would you receive?

What is the name of the angel in the classic Christmas film “It’s a Wonderful Life?”

Deadline: 8/17/12

NEW FOR 2012: NEW Guide to FOR Catholic2012: Colleges Guide to & Universities 2012 CatholicMay Colleges & Universities

Which U.S. state was the first to declare Dec. 25 a legal holiday?

What was the name of the Christmas song recorded and sung by Band Aid to help raise money for famine relief in Ethiopia?

September 2012

Deadline 4/19/12

November 2012 Deadline: 10/12/12

*John Connolly • 412-471-1253 jconnolly@pittsburghcatholic.org Pittsburgh Catholic • 135 First Avenue • Suite 200 • Pittsburgh, PA 15222 1-800-392-4670 • www.pittsburghcatholic.org Pittsburgh Catholic Magazine 15

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Coping with the holidays after losing someone close

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16 Pittsburgh Catholic Magazine

Losing someone close to you is hard. Losing a spouse is the hardest.

Thanksgiving and Christmas can be very dark times without this person who was so special to us. All of the phases of grief come again â&#x20AC;&#x201D; denial, anger, bargaining, depression, perhaps someday even acceptance.

There are so many triggers all around us, every day during the holidays, to release painful memories â&#x20AC;&#x201D; music, lights, candles, decorations. Everyone else seems so happy and so busy, and I am so alone. I am OK one day and terrible the next.

Such was my life five years ago.

Holidays are all about tradition, family and memories. Where do I begin when I am facing the â&#x20AC;&#x153;bigâ&#x20AC;? holidays without the most special person with whom I have shared 34 â&#x20AC;&#x153;big setsâ&#x20AC;? of holidays, my wife, Kathy, taken quickly by illness earlier that year. Lost, confused, scared, devastated â&#x20AC;&#x201D; all described my feelings.

My family of origin was big on holidays. So we had elaborate, formal meals for Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve. Christmas Eve dinner was candlelit and followed by midnight Mass.

The lovely, green-eyed lady I married quickly made having and being a family the cornerstone of our life together. Kathy realized that you bind a family together through traditions and memories. As our parents aged, the traditions passed to us to organize. Kathy pulled the Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve dinners into our house. Then she added a New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Eve party.

The whole clan came. These were her shows. The family camaraderie and closeness that followed were meaningful for my sons and me.

I did not have to face the big

holidays right away after her death. That first summer was terrible â&#x20AC;&#x201D; a lost summer for me.

The pain and confusion were overwhelming. As the leaves changed color, I was starting to feel better when suddenly I realized Thanksgiving was approaching.

What now? Old memories came flooding back in a swirl of pain. I had no energy. How could I muster all the effort to do the preparation work for these holidays? My mood started to take on a November feeling â&#x20AC;&#x201D; cold, gray, bare trees with a biting wind cutting into my soul. I felt more alone than ever.

Overwhelmed again. Inadequate â&#x20AC;&#x201D; I could never replace her drive and energy to create these good times for my three sons.

What would my sons think of me now when I could not match her holidays? I could not even find all the decorations.

Years later, I still cannot find the Christmas stockings we hung for so many years. Beyond my personal devastation, now I worried about my parenting skills.

How do you do all of this alone?

Christmas was something the two of us created. Now what?

I wanted to run away â&#x20AC;&#x201D; hide from all those memories. I tried to ignore the Christmas music. I delayed buying a tree. I only put up a few outdoor lights. I was very low. As much as I hate January, I wanted to skip December and jump right into January. I was depressed. Maybe if I just stayed in bed this would all pass.

Finally, my sons asked if we could still have the Christmas Eve dinner at our house. They told me that it would feel strange for them to go somewhere else for Christmas Eve. My sons wanted everyone to come to our house like always. It was important to them, so now I had a reason to get moving.

Christmas Traditions 2011

Ways to cope with loss B Here are 10 suggestions for coping with the holidays and other special days when you are grieving from a significant loss: • Plan ahead. Decide in advance what you want and don’t want to do regarding gift-giving and socializing.

• Call a friend to spend some time with you. Choose to do something together outside of your house.

Thirteen people were coming to my house.

Now I had to clean and pick up all the clutter four bachelors generate. Put up the tree, find some decorations, clean the silver — you get the picture The dinner went well. Everyone seemed pleased to follow our usual routine. Relief swept over me. It was done and the holidays were over.

No more music in the stores. What next?

The “next” for me was to gently lean into my grief and journey through it. How? I had to fully experience these powerful emotions that were tearing me apart. So I turned to prayer, writing, sharing and, yes, crying. These feelings are like bad relatives. I had to let them out of the closet, get used to them and take away their power. I could not “do” my way out of this. I had to just “be” and experience these feelings. Gradually, I coped better with their visits.

The volunteers in Beginning Experience helped me do that. Like a faith journey, a grief

journey is very difficult to do by myself. Being people who had also lost their spouse, they were lifesavers for me. With their support over the past several years I have completed my grief journey. I am finally able to gently close the door of my past and move on. Yes, there will be painful moments this year, but they are a small price to retain all the good memories. I had a wonderful life with Kathy, many enriching experiences. I will always have those. I can visit any time I want, but I chose to no longer live there. I am building a new life as a single person.

Acceptance is not happiness, but rather the freedom and energy to live again.

Today, I finally feel free to enter into our family celebrations with some enthusiasm. It has been four years, but this year, I am facing the holidays with anticipation, not regret; looking forward, not backward.

Contact Steve at 412-367-4948 for information on Beginning Experience.

• Allow yourself to feel the emotions you are feeling. Spend time in selfreflection by journaling or reading helpful materials.

• Is hosting others a problem this year? Consider: a. Reduce the number of dishes you make. b. Ask friends or family to bring a dish to share. c. Allow someone else to host for a change. d. Invite a friend and go to a restaurant.

• Pay attention to your needs, try to eat healthy foods and get enough rest.

• Be open to the potential for good experiences during the holidays.

• Try to embrace long-standing traditions while introducing new ones with your family. Do what you can and do not punish yourself for what you cannot do this year.

• Offering extra attention, praise and support to your children will come back to comfort you as well as them.

• Try reaching out to others during the holidays. Visit a food pantry.

Make a donation. Invite a lonely neighbor to dinner.

• Give yourself permission to feel joy, even if only for a moment.

You betray no one by having good feelings.

Christmas Traditions 2011

Pittsburgh Catholic Magazine 17

Breakfast with Santa, St. Margaret, Green Tree, December 1991

St. Peter Church, McKeesport, circa 1980s-1990s

St. Joseph, Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Hara Township, circa 1985 St. Benedict the Moor School, Christmas play, 1982.

Sacred Heart Church, McKeesport, circa 1980s-1990s.

Photos courtesy of Diocesan Archives and Record Center

18 Pittsburgh Catholic Magazine

Msgr. Charles O. Rice, St. Anne, Castle Shannon, circa 1970s.

Christmas Traditions 2011

Christmas Traditions 2011

Pittsburgh Catholic Magazine 19

Labor of

Parishioners work to salvage and reinstall pipe organ for future generations

By JOHN FRANKO The Christmas liturgies at St. Teresa of Avila Parish in Perrysville will be even more joyful this year, thanks to a recently installed pipe organ.

“We will blow the roof off this place,” said Ted Rybka, music minister.

The $80,000 organ project — “Moved by Grace” — has galvanized the St. Teresa of Avila community and created a spirit that has left parishioners enthusiastically looking to the future.

At the same time, it has preserved organs, parts and pipes once destined for demolition and kept alive the spirit of two closed churches.

“I don’t think any of us would have ever imagined that so many people from so many different facets of parish life would have come together to work on this project,” said Father Bob Vular, St. Teresa’s pastor.

“But that’s exactly what happened. This just proves that people have an appreciation for the wonderful ways that this jewel of all musical instruments helps to enhance our liturgies as we lift our hearts and voices to God. This organ will provide beauty and dignity to our worship not only now, but for future generations of our St. Teresa of Avila families.”

Rybka was the inspiration behind the project.

He was hesitant when he accepted the position as the parish’s music minister two years ago because he saw an aging electronic organ that somewhat limited what he could do.

In fall 2010, he heard that Holy Trinity and St.

20 Pittsburgh Catholic Magazine

Peter churches of the former St. Martin de Porres Parish in McKeesport were to be torn down, and he immediately looked into the fate of their organs.

Rybka grew up in the McKeesport area and had played the organs as a young musician.

In conversations with Father Steve Kresak, pastor of the newly-formed Corpus Christi Parish, he learned that there were no plans to salvage the organs and that both were available.

The churches were slated to be demolished in the spring, so Rybka had to act fast. He consulted Father Vular, the parish choir and the pastoral council, and he received unanimous support to move forward with the project.

“Father Steve was phenomenal during the whole process,” Rybka said. “I was blessed on both ends.

I have a great pastor to deal with here at St. Teresa and I had a great priest to deal with down there.”

For a small fee, St. Teresa of Avila purchased the organs and a small baby grand piano from Corpus Christi. St. Teresa of Avila then hired David Richards, owner of Allegheny Pipe Organ Co. in Valencia, to refurbish the instruments and install the organ at St. Teresa.

“Everything just fell into place,” Rybka said. “The people have really made it happen.”

The parish documented the project in a “Moved

by Grace” Youtube video, and contributions began to come in from organ groups and enthusiasts around the country.

Some 50 choir members and parishioners went out to the McKeesport churches in late February to help dismantle and move the organs and pipes. In addition, they helped remove the woodwork from around the St. Peter pipes. It was refurbished and used for the swell chamber at St. Teresa of Avila.

Richards took the inner-works of the Holy Trinity Wicks organ and installed it in the console from the St. Peter Moller organ. He also installed a new solid-state system. He incorporated 15 ranks of pipes from Holy Trinity and four from St. Peter.

“We were trying to find the best of everything,” Rybka said.

Richards spent the spring restoring the organs, and by July they were ready to be installed at St. Teresa. More than 1,100 metal and wooden pipes, ranging in size from half a pencil to 16 feet, were used.

A group of parishioners volunteered their services to construct the swell chamber, while others helped hoist pipes, the blower and wind chest (which holds the pipes) to a space above the altar. In all, some 100 people helped in the move.

Another volunteer made at least seven trips to Richards’ shop to strip, sand and stain the solid oak for the console.

Rybka pointed out that the craftsmanship for the chamber alone would have cost tens of thousands of dollars. He was overwhelmed by the response.

“Words can’t express my gratitude,” he said.

There is room on the refurbished organ to add seven or eight ranks, and the parish secured extra pipes for possible future expansion.

As an organ enthusiast, Richards was happy to see the organs salvaged, and he was impressed by the dedication of the people involved with the project.

Their efforts, he noted, will be rewarded by a harmonious natural sound from an organ that will long outlast an electronic instrument.

“There are people being born now who will grow old and die and be buried here, but this organ will provide music for their entire life,” he said.

Richards has been involved in numerous pipe organ restoration projects throughout the Diocese of Pittsburgh, and he will soon begin another project at St. Paul Cathedral in Pittsburgh’s Oakland neighborhood.

The final aspect of the project involved the purchase of working facade pipes for the area above the altar. The last of the pipes were to be installed in mid-November.

Both Rybka and Richards said the $80,000 figure paled in comparison to what a new organ would have cost. They estimated that it would have been in the neighborhood of $250,000.

St. Teresa has raised some $60,000 for the project in the past eight months through a concert series, raffle and donations. A number of future concerts and activities are planned.

The new organ was used for the first time in late August, and the parish celebrated its official dedication with a joyous celebration Oct. 16.

Rybka spoke of the energy and enthusiasm that marked the event.

“Our people were so proud of their accomplishment,” he said. “They should have been. They

Christmas Traditions 2011

Photos by Pam Gianoglio

worked hard for six months to make this happen. It was a labor of love for everybody.”

Among those in attendance were several dozen people from McKeesport. Rybka invited them to show his appreciation for their support.

“They were very happy to be part of the celebration,” he said.

Rybka noted that the excitement over the organ will enhance the parish’s music program, which has continued to expand. The adult choir has doubled in the past couple of years and children’s programs have expanded. Contemporary Gospel Masses are now held, and a concert series will be offered.

“It is clear that music is an integral part of worship for this parish community,” Rybka noted.

“We just keep growing.”

Christmas Traditions 2011

Pittsburgh Catholic Magazine 21

Italian Feast of the

Seven Fishes

A savory tradition celebrated over the ages

By PEGGY ZEZZA Since my father and elder siblings were born and raised in Italy, I grew up in a home that celebrated the family’s Italian heritage.

Holidays revolved around family, and friends who were like family, conversation, music, food, and more food.

Christmas Eve was the most elaborate feast of all, with lots of family, and lots of fish.

The Italian Feast of the Seven Fishes, festa de setle pesci, consists of seven different fish/seafood dishes served on the eve of Christ’s birth. It is believed the tradition dates back to Sicily, and soon spread around Italy and the world. Since Catholicism is the religion of Italy, most believe the tradition started because of the Catholic practice of

Baccalá

Anchovies

abstinence, refraining from eating meat on Friday and in preparation for the holidays.

The significance of the number seven is not known. Some say it represents the seven hills of Rome, some say it represents the seven virtues. The most widely accepted symbolism of the number is that it represents the seven sacraments of the Catholic Church. In some American Italian families, the meal includes 13 fish dishes, believed to represent the 12 apostles and Jesus.

No matter the number, it is a lot of fish. The traditional fishes served during this Italian feast include baccalà (salted and dried cod fish), smelts, calamari, anchovies, eels, squid, octopus, shrimp, mussels and clams.

Baccalà is generally only eaten by Italians on Christmas Eve. The cod fish is bought very dry and very preserved looking. The fish is soaked for three days before the meal and comes back to life tasting good.

Every Italian has different recipes for serving the fish. In our family, we serve baccala salad.

It is also put in sauce and served in a soup-like dish called pasta ceci (small pasta with ceci beans). The smelts and calamari are usually fried. The anchovies are cooked in oil to make an alio sauce, and served with pasta. Clams are cooked in sauce, and served with linguine.

In the past, we have had sardines with pasta, octopus salad and eel.

Through the years, as marriages and births expanded the family, the seven-fish meal was updated to respect the taste of non-Italian in-laws. My mother serves shrimp three different ways, to account for seven different fish entrees. Shrimp dishes include shrimp cocktail, sautéed shrimp with butter and fried shrimp.

22 Pittsburgh Catholic Magazine

Christmas Traditions 2011

Mussels

Clams Shrimp

Smelts Calamari For Italians, there is never enough food.

You have to add the homemade bread, homemade wine, antipasto (with peppers, olives, cheeses), and vegetables (broccoli seems to be the favorite, although I've heard of some people making savoy cabbage).

For our family, we need homemade pasta, generally gnocchi, but sometimes ravioli.

Of course, no meal would be complete without the dolce (sweets). Besides the seven fishes, the meal usually incorporates seven desserts, including biscotti, panettone and pizziles, as well as American desserts like thumbprint cookies, everyone’s favorite, and mom’s homemade lady locks.

Of all the fishes, what is the favorite?

Everyone has their own opinion. When mom wanted to eliminate the baccalà, some complained because the pasta ceci was their favorite. My brother always got mad when we wanted to eliminate the anchovies and calamari. Last year, talk turned to eliminating the fried smelts, and that was when I defended my favorite entrée. All in all, it is not about wanting to eat your favorite food, but about preserving traditions for current and future generations.

No matter what your heritage and traditions, the most important part of the celebration is not the type of food, nor the quantity, it is the joy of being surrounded by family and friends on Christmas Eve when we as Catholics celebrate the miracle and birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ, and our love for each other.

Buon natale to all.

Zezza is circulation manager and parish news coordinator for the Pittsburgh Catholic.

Christmas Traditions 2011

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Pittsburgh Catholic Magazine 23

crÈche FROM PAGE 9 There is another group of about a dozen people out there. Wait, another picture. I hope he got my good side.

I’ve had a lot of practice at posing. How many hundreds of thousands have visited us since 1999? This is, after all, the world’s only authorized replica of the creche erected in front of St. Peter’s Basilica in Rome.

A family carrying shopping bags. At least they get a glimpse of the real meaning of Christmas.

It looks like a woman, her daughter and granddaughter. Joy on their faces. Yes, they know what is important.

Something is missing tonight. That’s it. Father Ron (Lengwin) isn’t here. That’s rare.

It’s a comforting thought to see him watching over us from the guard shack. He loves this time of year.

He always answers questions and is quick to point out special features.

No, kid, running around the side won’t help you

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Good, a couple that finally comes close to the edge of the creche. Most seem to stand at least 10 yards away. We don’t bite. Maybe they just want to step back and take in the entire scene.

With the wind blowing, the cloth on the shepherd girl dances. For a moment, she looks like she’s moving. We are all so life-like.

And the music is beautiful again tonight. Ah, the “Ave Maria.” So mesmerizing.

The music and the sight of Mary gazing upon her child brings a warmth to my heart.

Oh, look. A mother out there is holding her son close. They share a special moment as they take in the scene.

Now, the rest of the family has walked away, but the mom stands alone. She gazes at the Nativity as only a mother could. What must she be thinking?

A young couple embracing each other. That happens a lot around here.

They hold hands as they walk away. So much love.

It’s what the Christmas season is all about.

What is that mother explaining to her children?

Oh, she’s telling them who is up here.

Yes, a shepherd girl. Angels. Mary, Joseph and Jesus. And the three of us?

Come on. Balthazar ...

Oh well, at least she got the other figures right.

Umberto Mezzano did a wonderful job designing this creche, nestled in the midst of so many tall buildings. There is a powerful peace. An oasis of beauty.

I can barely hear the traffic on Grant Street tonight.

Another small crowd again. The silence is gone, but I love the sound of young voices.

Haven’t we seen this before? A mom and her two children. It looks like dad stayed in the car.

Yes, little one, it is “cool.” And yes, mom, it is beautiful here.

On some nights I long to warm myself by the cooking fire just below the crib, but tonight is not one of them.

There is more than enough love to warm the heart.

“O, Holy Night.” One of my favorites.

Yes, the stars are brightly shining. I am a lasting witness to our dear Savior’s birth.

The Pittsburgh Creche can be viewed 24 hours a day through Jan. 8.

Franko is a staff writer for the Pittsburgh Catholic.

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24 Pittsburgh Catholic Magazine

Christmas Traditions 2011

ADVERTORIAL

An Emmaus Christmas Tiffany Merriman-Preston

In Pittsburgh’s South Side, a red brick building, once the rectory for St. Peter’s church, is lit for Christmas. There is a small manger scene looking out from the front porch, a green wreath on the door, and inside the house, the bustle of holiday ritual, as Debbie sets out the Christmas dishes. Others prepare the silverware and napkins. The smell of a Christmas ham fills the space. It is like any holiday shared amongst a family, only the women who gather at the table are not relatives. They are residents of the Emmaus Community, along with a staff member who supports them.

Debbie is a 42-year-old woman with Down syndrome. She was raised by her Pap Pap and lived with him until she was 26 years old. At 79, due to his aging and health, Pap Pap was no longer able to provide Debbie with the care she needed. Around that time, Ken and Lorraine Wagner were starting the Emmaus Community of Pittsburgh, an organization that provides permanent homes and respite care for people with intellectual disabilities and autism. The Community—inspired by Jean Vanier and his work with the L’arche communities—was built upon the idea of people with and without disabilities sharing their lives together to foster mutual growth. In 1994, the Wagners opened the first Emmaus home, and Debbie came to live with them as the Emmaus Community’s first resident. Pap Pap often visited Debbie at her new home and got to know the people who would be caring for her. In 1998, Pap Pap passed away.

Ken and Lorraine continued to live with Debbie for fifteen years. Soon after her arrival, three other women with intellectual disabilities joined her as housemates. They shared their holiday celebrations, but also their everyday routines and meals. “Emmaus” was chosen as a name for our Community because it reflects our core value of sharing lives. According to scripture (Luke 24:1335), after the resurrection, two disciples are walking along on the road to Emmaus, a town just outside of Jerusalem. They are discussing the events of Jesus’ passion and death, and the hope of his resurrection. Jesus himself joins them on that road, but they do not recognize him until, at the end of the day, he breaks bread with them, “and then their eyes were opened.”

Today, Debbie’s life at Emmaus is one of many blessings. She works five days a week at Goodwill.

She shares a beautiful home with two other women with intellectual disabilities, with whom she has developed deep friendships. Emmaus provides a qualified and caring team of direct support staff to assist Debbie with her daily needs. She attends church every Sunday and goes out in the community regularly. She pursues her own hobbies and enjoys spending time with her friends.

When individuals come to Emmaus, they come for life. Today, Emmaus operates five permanent homes, two supported apartments, and a respite program that provides short-term care for individuals with intellectual disabilities.

Every night at bedtime, Debbie prays for her Pap Pap, and every day at Emmaus, we work to strengthen the Community and provide true Homes for our residents—the kind where Debbie’s Pap Pap knew his granddaughter would thrive and grow.

If you would like more information about how you or a loved one can become a part of the Emmaus Community, please call Karen Jacobsen at 412-381-0277 or visit our website at www.emmauspgh.org.

Christmas Traditions 2011

Pittsburgh Catholic Magazine 25

By CHRISTEL VAN MAURIK The Christmas season in Germany starts with Advent and a custom, which dates back to pagan times, when people believed in the Circle of Life, never ending and ongoing, even after death.

It is signified by the Advent wreath and four candles representing the four Sundays in Advent. The wreath is made out of pine branches and ribbons, sitting on a table, or, like in many German homes, hanging from the ceiling.

The ritual connected with the wreath is the celebration of the preChristmas, as each Sunday a candle is lit, while

Formerly the tree was decorated with real candles, apples, nuts, cookies and straw ornaments, but now hand-blown glass ornaments, icicles and electric candles are used.

The family gathers around the Christmas tree to sing carols before gifts are exchanged. Afterward the family enjoys a small dinner consisting of a meat salad, or potato salad with bratwurst, depending on the region of Germany.

A brown roasted Christmas goose is eaten on Dec. 25, but Dec. 26, a second German Christmas day, is reserved for visiting friends and family.

The Christmas season is officially over on Jan. 6, the feast of the Three Kings.

The following poem was written, and then read by me at last year’s Christmas party for the chorus. We will share it with our readers:

family and friends gather for punch and cookies and sing Christmas carols.

On Christmas Eve, German children wait for the Christkind (Christ child), usually portrayed as a small angel with the Weihnachtsmann (Santa Claus).

The Bescherung or giving of gifts takes place on Christmas Eve. In most homes, members attend a Christmesse, where children portray the Christmas story.

German children do not see the Christmas tree until the holy night, when a parent or Van Maurik is editor of the Teutonia News, newsletrelative decorates the tree while the rest of ter of the Teutonia Mannerchor German Club on Pittsburgh's North Side. the family is attending a church service.

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26 Pittsburgh Catholic Magazine

Snowflakes are falling from heaven above Reminding us all of labors of love.

Soon it is coming, this wondrous night, With stars up above and glimmering light.

A velvety cloth is covering the earth And fires are crackling in every one’s hearth.

We think of a babe, born a long time ago, In swaddling clothes and bedded on straw.

Adored by shepherds, oxen and kings, And hosts of angels with gossamer wings, Gliding slow from heaven above, Reminding us all of labors of love.

Christmas Traditions 2011

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Christmas Traditions 2011

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Christmas Traditions 2011

By PHIL TAYLOR His revulsion was apparent.

“I just can’t stand that guy. He’s so (inappropriate word) sentimental that it makes me sick. What a marshmallow!”

My friend was referring to a mutual acquaintance. It seems that every time we would all go out socially, our buddy would have a few too many and get misty-eyed to the point of tears.

Whether it was a touching memory of his father or the pseudo pain inflicted by an ex-wife or girlfriend, Georgie (not his real name), would start to blubber.

I’m sure some of it was due to the alcohol and — maybe not. We really can’t tell people how they should feel. It is the epitome of selfarrogance.

We all suffer loss. Whether it was the relative who decided to throw in his or her cards permanently, or someone you loved that came to a tragic and unexpected end — it hurts.

You know, sometimes you only have to bring out the sauce, and a few drinks later the tears start to flow — enough for a whale to swim in.

Of course, it doesn’t all have to be negative.

Sometimes things that are mentioned in general conversation are just going to have that effect. We have to be reminded that sharing feelings with others really makes us different from all the other animals. It’s what defines our humanity.

I love the story of the party girl during the holidays. On her third glass of wine, suddenly she pauses, looks at you deeply, and bellows your name to the assembled saying something like, “Harold ... One darn good egg!” Or, “Julie, you are one tough ... (oops, talking about running a red light.)” And finally the night’s topper: “Do you know how much I love you?”

Many years ago I penned a short story about Christmas and shared it with an established writer. I sought his literary opinion.

The story was about a mother who had nothing for her 5-year-old son for Christmas.

She soon took to dramatic measures by inviting a man she did not know into her apartment.

Things were getting to the point that soon she would lose her dignity.

Fortunately, her little boy hears the sound of a man’s voice, and comes bursting out from his bedroom.

The small boy rushes up on the man sitting on the sofa with his mother and apologizes innocently, “I’m sorry sir! I thought you were Santa.”

Christmas Traditions 2011

The man flushes red, hastily jumps up, brings out his wallet and drops a few 20s to the floor before running for his hat and the door.

At that moment the boy looks at the money on the floor and joyfully says to his mother, “Gosh mom, maybe that was Santa.”

I couldn’t wait for my friend to give his assessment. I really wanted his opinion.

He looked at me wryly and uttered three words that I will never forget.

“Too much schmaltz,” he said.

I had never heard the term before but it sounded intriguing. I pretended to understand him although I had no idea what he was talking about. After all, he was a

published writer, and I was but a fresh kid.

Later I looked it up. The dictionary said something involving a work of literature or music — Yiddish origins. The synonyms however really crushed me — goo, mush, corn, sludge. I felt I deserved better.

Looking back, he was right. But almost 40 years later, I finally get to tell my “schmaltzy” story — in print nevertheless (lol).

My friends, have a wonderful Christmas and New Year and don’t forget some schmaltz as well.

Taylor is an associate editor for the Pittsburgh Catholic.

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Pittsburgh Catholic Magazine 29

Mastering detente with the extended family during holidays

By WILLIAM CONE

known fact that repeats itself over and over every year. And the Christmas holiday can become the “That is why a man leaves his father and apex of anxiety. mother and clings to his wife, and the two This year my wife, Amy, and of them become one body” I will celebrate our 25th (Genesis 2:24).

Christmas as a marWhen a man ried couple (we and woman get actually got married, they are engaged on still part of their exC h r i st m a s tended family, and Eve 1985). for each spouse I remember that family can our first Christmas, multiply greatwhich was less than ly when they three months after get married. our wedding. In our Not only do first apartment, we felt you have a mo ther so proud to entertain and father, brothers everyone in our and sisters, aunts and new home and uncles, cousins, etc., use the many but now a mother-inwedding gifts we law and father-inhad received. law and seemingly When we began datcountless others ing, I learned about Amy’s who want to spend robust family roots, the many aunts, time with the newlywed uncles, great-aunts and cousins in New couple.

England and elsewhere, and she started to Holidays with the family can be stressful. It’s a hear about my extended family in Florida,

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It was a bit daunting when I first became familiar with everyone’s names. It was especially overwhelming as I got to meet them face to face (at the wedding, which is another story). There are some strong personalities in her family, and getting to know and understand them has been a task and a blessing for a quarter-century.

I think that’s why holidays can be so emotionally charged for family members. You spend almost all your life with a few close family members, then add many more folks whom you have very little contact with during the rest of the year. The comfort you feel around your spouse and children is disrupted when you mix in the less familiar family members.

One challenge for many families is when both sets of grandparents insist on their son/daughter and grandkids spending long periods of time with them on Christmas Day, thus excluding the other grandparents. Someone is bound to get their feelings hurt.

I can hear it now: “Why can’t you stay all day?

Your mother is making her special triple-decker plum cake. Can’t your wife’s parents be happy with you stopping by their house tomorrow? We hardly ever get to see you.”

Which prompts a reply: “Dad, we only live five miles away, but Amy’s Aunt Rose is only visiting from Massachusetts for three days. How do we explain that we can only visit her family for two hours the day after Christmas?”

The solution that some couples try is splitting Christmas Day in half, being with each side of the family for part of the day. That usually means that you need to endure two large feasts in one day. Forget about loosening your belt; you might as well leave it at home.

What works for others is spending Christmas Eve with one set of grandparents and Christmas Day with the other set. It can work if you get the grandparents to agree that Christmas Day isn’t the only time to see their grandchildren.

For Amy and I, decorating the Christmas tree in our new home provided the perfect metaphor for blending extended families. She had ornaments from her parents and grandparents, and I had decorations from my family. Combining them on OUR tree helped solidify that we were a new family looking ahead to many more Christmases together.

Don’t let family concerns overshadow this season of great beginnings. Nothing is more important than the simple joy of recalling a newborn babe lying in a manger.

Cone is editor of the Pittsburgh Catholic.

Christmas Traditions 2011

Newlyweds first Christmas together

By CAITLIN ARENDASH-LABYODA Scott and I got married on May 21, 2011, so as newlyweds, this will be our first Christmas we spend together as husband and wife. Before the holiday season began we both sat down and discussed where we were going, who and what families we were visiting, and how much time we had to spend with friends. Fortunately, our families and friends are celebrating on different days so we will have enough time to spend with everyone this Christmas.

We also discussed a budget on how much we were spending on gifts for each other, family and friends. It is important as a newlywed couple to have all of our finances in check since being thrown into reality with so many bills we have to pay.

When I think of Christmas, I think of tradition. As important as it is to respect and honor the traditions we each grew up with, we think it’s even more important to start

our own traditions together. Every year we are going to buy an ornament with the year of the Christmas we are celebrating. It will be entertaining to look back at all the ornaments and how many times we have celebrated this special holiday every year together.

Decorating for Christmas is also another fun thing we will get to do together. Putting lights up on the house, putting up our very first tree together along with our stockings and snow globes. I will try to bake some cookies, but I don’t know how well they will turn out. My mom is the cookie baker in the family. We are also doing our first set of Christmas cards together. It will be exciting to send and receive Christmas wishes from family and friends we do not see very often.

When I was younger, it was so much fun waking up and walking down the stairs with my little brother to see all the presents Santa brought us.

After opening all the presents, our entire family came to our house, and together we had a big Christmas breakfast. It was so much fun spending that quality time with family.

This Christmas will be different waking up only to each other and our new puppy, Blitz, but after we are done opening presents and spending time at our house, we are going over to my parents’ home to keep the tradition alive and having Christmas breakfast with my family.

Our wedding day was such a fantastic day, but it is true what they say, it just flew by! Our most important Christmas tradition as a married couple is to take time and spend it together. If it’s listening to Christmas music, watching our favorite holiday movies, or just simply talking about our memories of Christmas past, we will do that together and be happy about the times we shared and what is to come. I wish all the newlyweds celebrating for the first time together this year good luck and a very

Merry Christmas!

Arendash-Labyoda is an office assistant for the Pittsburgh Catholic.

Christmas Blessings

To our many alumni, colleagues and friends in the Pittsburgh diocese, the faculty, staff and students of Erie’s diocesan university wish you the abundant blessings of the season of our Lord’s birth.

WWW.GANNON.EDU Christmas Traditions 2011

Pittsburgh Catholic Magazine 31

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Christmas Traditions 2011

ChristinChristmas

Keep

T

By FATHER JOHN GRACE

he joyous season of preparing for the great feast of the God child has begun. December is a busy month with so many activities on the horizon â&#x20AC;&#x201D; the Christmas Masses, celebrations, parties, dinners, decorations, cards, letters, gifts, family get-togethers, etc.

It can be an exhausting time, but I think we all agree that it is a rewarding season as well, especially when we know that so much is being done to help others, particularly children and those who are in need.

With all the festivities and the movement by some in our society to keep Christ out of his own feast day, we could easily end up with a holiday instead of what the feast is, a holy day. Remember, holy days were celebrated centuries before the holidays came to the fore. As festive as they may be, let us not put â&#x20AC;&#x153;ornamentsâ&#x20AC;? in the place of Christ on his own feast day. Please wish people a â&#x20AC;&#x153;Merry Christmasâ&#x20AC;? and not happy holidays.

I sometimes wonder how the four principles of the Knights of Columbus â&#x20AC;&#x201D; charity, unity, fraternity and patriotism â&#x20AC;&#x201D; really direct our lives. Yes, we all know what the principles are.

My question is: Do they actually BRAT E L influence E E our lives? By IC that I am asking if our spirituality as Knights i s directly based on the Gospel and an interior understanding of what these principles invite us to do. Do the principles DARE us and demand something special of us, over and above just giving a â&#x20AC;&#x153;handoutâ&#x20AC;? because we are a charitable organization joined in a fraternal unity that has patriotic overtones? Are we any different from other philanthropic organizations? Do we have something special to offer?

Our spirituality is based on these four principles. As I travel around to different jurisdictions, I sense a new awakening to the understanding of that spirituality, a new consciousness of the center where we embark in order to fulfill our mandate to be our brotherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s keeper.

So, I send you my heartfelt and sincere good wishes for this very special time of year.

We say it is a time of peace and good will, so

IST M A

S

C

HR

Christmas Traditions 2011

may it be just that for us all. Many say that it is a season especially for children, and so it is, but it is not exclusively for them. Christ did not come only for children. He came to save young and old, but also the majority â&#x20AC;&#x201D; those of us who are somewhere in between those age brackets.

This is a busy and wonderful season, and Christ is there right in the middle of it all. For each of you, I pray that his presence will be very special this year. May his coming renew your

desires to be more Christlike; may it be a time to celebrate atwork, at home, with the Knights and with the parish community. May Christ come alive within you.

May you have a very happy and blessed Christmas with your families and friends.

Augustinian Father John is director of chaplain programs and development for the Knights of Columbus headquartered in New Haven, Conn.

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Sappy songs and trees strapped on SUVs

By ROBERT P. LOCKWOOD Getting sappy in my old age. Particularly around Christmas.

I’m driving on a Saturday night well into Advent. An evening’s run to the bookstore while listening to some “moldy oldies” — early Stones, the Beatles, Simon and Garfunkel — is one of God’s tender mercies.

But it’s Christmas season. Since the Wednesday before Thanksgiving my oldies station has fed me nothing but an effluvia of the best and worst of Christmas standards — everything from Bing Crosby and David Bowie incongruously performing a duet of “The Little Drummer Boy” to Elvis warning of a “blue, blue Christmas without you.” I like the Porky Pig version better.

So I’m grouchy. And I keep the radio on only so I can wallow in it.

Then a song comes on that just blows sappy right out of the water. It’s the “Christmas Shoes,” the one with the scruffy little kid trying to buy new shoes for his mother on Christmas Eve. His mother, of course, is dying, and the kid explains that he wants the shoes for her “if momma meets Jesus tonight.”

To make certain it reaches for the lowest common denominator, a chorus of kids sings the refrain. Twice.

Awful. Just awful.

I’m sitting at a stop sign, and just as the kids reach their crescendo, an SUV drives by with a tree strapped to the roof, heading home to be the centerpiece of a family’s Christmas.

Momma is dying, a family Christmas tree — it all comes together in one gooey mess and, as God is my witness, I begin to blink away a tear.

I actually get angry. “Think football!” I shout out loud, and stick my head out the window for a blast of just-about-freezing evening air to shock some sense into me.

Getting old. Getting sappy. But Christmas will do that to you.

In Sara Gruen’s novel “Water for Elephants,” the 93-year-old protagonist understands that his kids just don’t really listen to anything he has to say now. “My real stories are all out of date ... ancient history now.

But what else do I have to offer? Nothing happens to me any more. That’s the reality of getting old, and I guess that’s really the crux of the matter.”

The eternal lament. But it’s not true at Christmas. A Christmas story can be 80 years old and still captivate a child perched on grandpa’s lap. And the 2,000-year-old narrative of the first Christmas can startle anyone into conversion at any age.

Christmas is when the faith can’t be pushed to the periphery, no matter how hard we shove. In fact, we open our doors and invite it right into our homes with the tree, the stockings, the cards and the gifts. No matter how much the culture tries to gloss it over into secular mush, the faith can’t be avoided at Christmas.

It’s front and center, the whole reason why everything else happens.

So let Elvis be blue, and let that moon-eyed kid keep holding onto the pair of Christmas shoes. Let the downtown lights be lit, let Santa hold court at the mall, let the halls be decked with boughs of holly. It’s all evangelization.

With apologies to the unknown author of the Book of Daniel (3:52-90), and my buddy Mike who first suggested it, we need a Christmas litany to remind us that: “Christmas lights and Christmas candles, Bless the Lord.

Shopping lines and the last-minute rush, Bless the Lord.

Stockings and mistletoe, Bless the Lord.

Wrapping paper and bows, Bless the Lord.

Gifts and gift cards, Bless the Lord.

Sappy songs and trees on SUVs, Bless the Lord.”

God uses creation for his miracles. And all that because, as the Book of Daniel actually states, “Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his mercy endures forever” (89).

Have a joyous — and sappy — Christmas. And a blessed New Year.

Lockwood is diocesan communications director and general manager of the Pittsburgh Catholic.

34 Pittsburgh Catholic Magazine

Christmas Traditions 2011

Program brings joy to nursing home residents Christmas is a special time. In our hearts at Christmas, we are all still children. Those “sugar plum” visions don’t fade as we grow older. Patients in nursing homes still carry those same ageless Christmas dreams in their hearts, too.

Presents for Patients helps to keep Christmas alive by creating smiles for nursing and assisted-living residents. Since its inception in 1984, Presents for Patients has brought joy to and touched the hearts of thousands. Now celebrating its 28th season, it has brought smiles to more than 431,113 patients.

When Presents for Patients began, it served four local nursing homes and 450 patients. The spirit of Christmas giving is flourishing in the hearts of donors. Last year, a record 27,482 patients were matched with donors at 322 long-term care facilities in Pennsylvania, Ohio, New York, Tennessee and West Virginia. Donors derive great joy from playing Santa.

After enrolling in the program, donors are sent their patient’s information with his or her three gift requests. Donors are requested to purchase at least one item on the list and personally deliver the gift during Christmas. The visit is the real gift.

Special gift requests besides the typical ones for items such as sweaters and snacks have also been granted. In 2010, Hank Norton, a 76-year-old Air Force veteran residing at a Beaver Valley nursing and rehabilitation center, had his dream of flying again in a small-engine plane fulfilled.

From kids to corporations, donors relish participating in Presents for Patients. Last year, 103 businesses, 29 churches, 23 schools, 33 organizations and 110 scout troops, not to mention celebrities such as Steelers legend Rocky Bleier and the Pirates' Second Baseman Neil Walker took part in the program. In addition to the requested gifts, the program supporters also contributed 8,030 teddy bears, 204 throw blankets and 1,069 volunteer hours at the Presents for Patients headquarters.

The program, which has been honored with numerous awards, including Ronald Reagan’s citation in 1988 is co-sponsored by St. Barnabas Charities and WPXI-TV Channel 11.

Getting involved is easy. For more information on Presents for Patients and how you can donate and adopt a patient at a facility near you, call 724444-5521 or visit www.presentsforpatients.com.

Grandma’s Nut Twists 350 degree oven for 15 minutes or until light brown.

Dough: 1 cup margarine 3 oz cream cheese 5 cups sifted flour 4 egg yolks Pinch salt 1 cup sour cream 1 tablespoon sugar 1 tsp vanilla 1 small square or 1/2 large cake yeast Sift flour, add margarine, crumble in yeast, add cream cheese, salt and sugar. Mix like for pie crust.

Beat egg yolks and add to mixture. Add in sour cream and vanilla. Kneed and work until smooth.

Divide into 8 balls and chill overnight.

Filling: 1 pound of walnuts (ground) 1 tsp of vanilla 2/3 cup brown sugar Enough milk to make a spread Glaze: Powdered sugar, warm water and vanilla to make a soup like mixture.

Roll ball of dough out to a rectangle about 8” high by 18” long. Spread nut mixture over 1/2 of rectangle (4” high by 18”long). Fold the part without the filling over the part with the filling. Cut in to 1/2 inch wide strips so you have 4” high strips 1/2 inch wide. Twist the strips like a pretzel twist. Place onto a cookie sheet lined with parchment paper. Continue this process with each ball of dough.

Bake at 350 degrees until light brown about 15 minutes. When cool, use a pastry brush and “paint” each twist with the glaze. Place on wax paper before you glaze to catch the drips. Keep in cookie tin with layers separated by wax paper. These do freeze well if you want to make ahead.

Submitted by Shirley Gorwick

Christmas Traditions 2011

Pittsburgh Catholic Magazine 35

Chocolate Dessert Crust 1 cup flour 1 stick oleo 1 cup chopped nuts.

Mix together and then pat evenly into a 9 x 13 pan Bake at 350 degrees for 20 minutes.

Let cool.

Mix (1) 8 oz. cream cheese, 1 cup powdered sugar, and 12 ounce large container of Cool Whip.

Spread over cooled crust.

Mix 1 small package instant vanilla and 1 chocolate pudding box with 3 cups milk.

Spread over cream cheese layer. Top with remaining Cool Whip. Grate over top with Hershey bar.

Submitted by Lauretta Turek

Party Pretzels

Cherry Fruit Squares

1 package (20 ounces) pretzel rods 1 package (14 ounces) caramels 1 tablespoon evaporated milk 1 1/4 cups miniature semi-sweet chocolate chips 1 cup plus 2 tablespoons butterscotch chips 2/3 cup milk chocolate toffee bits 1/4 cup chopped walnuts, toasted With a sharp knife cut pretzel rods in half, set aside. In large saucepan over low heat, melt caramels with milk. In a large shallow bowl, combine the chips, toffee bits and walnuts. Pour caramel mixture into a 2-cup glass measuring cup. Dip the cut end of each pretzel piece two-thirds of the way into the caramel mixture. (Reheat in microwave if mixture becomes too thick for dipping.)

Allow excess caramel to drip off, then roll pretzels in the chip mixture. Place on waxed paper until set. Store in airtight container.

(Makes 4 1/2 dozen) ENJOY!

1/2 lb oleo 1 cup sugar 2 eggs 1 teaspoon vanilla 2 cups flour 1 cup chopped walnuts Cream oleo and sugar together, add eggs and vanilla, then add flour one cup at a time, then you add walnuts.

Dough will be stiff.

Put half of the dough in a 13x9 pan, then put filling on top, put the rest of the dough on top in strips.

Bake at 350 degrees for 45 minutes or until brown on top.

Use 1 large can or 1 1/5 cans regular cherry pie filling, or any other filling in which you will have to use 1 1/2 cans.

Submitted by Lauretta Turek

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Christmas Traditions 2011

and Italian Christmas folklore Submitted by Carlo Dozzi The legend of Babbo Natale (Santa Claus), has existed in Italy mostly since the days of Word War II. However, there is an even more ancient (and popular) Italian Christmas tradition that has itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s origins traced back to the 13th century. The legend of â&#x20AC;&#x153;La Befana.â&#x20AC;?

Legend has it that on the 12th night of Christmas (Jan. 5) the Three Wise Men on their search for the Baby Jesus asked â&#x20AC;&#x153;La Befanaâ&#x20AC;? to join them in their quest. She initially declined, stating she had too much housework to do.

She later changed her mind and went looking for the Three Wise Men and the Baby Jesus, but was unable to find them. Therefore, every year on the night of Jan. 5, â&#x20AC;&#x153;La Befanaâ&#x20AC;? will travel on her magic broom to every house in Italy in search of the Baby Jesus bringing gifts. Climbing down the chimneys, she brings candy (caramele) or fruit to the children who have been good and black coal (carbone) to the children who were naughty. The children will leave out their stockings â&#x20AC;&#x201D; and even their shoes â&#x20AC;&#x201D; hoping to awake on the morning of Jan. 6 to some â&#x20AC;&#x153;caramele.â&#x20AC;?

Similar to the Santa Claus tradition, many of the children will write notes to â&#x20AC;&#x153;La Befanaâ&#x20AC;? and even leave out food and wine for her.

Dozzi is owner of Buon Sapore in Pittsburgh's Southside Works.

THE VILLAGE AT ST. BARNABAS

Another version of La Befana In Italian folklore, Befana is an old woman who delivers gifts to children throughout Italy on Epiphany Eve (the night of Jan. 5) in a similar way to St. Nicholas or Santa Claus (Babbo Natale). In popular folklore, Befana visits all the children of Italy on the eve of the feast of the Epiphany to fill their socks with candy and presents if they are good or a lump of coal if they are bad. The childâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s family typically leaves a small glass of wine and a plate with a few morsels of food.

She is usually portrayed as an old woman riding on a broomstick through the air wearing a black shaw and is covered in soot because she enters the childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s houses through the chimney.

Poem or song associated with â&#x20AC;&#x153;La Befanaâ&#x20AC;?

La Befana vien di notte, con le scarpette tutte rotte, col vestito all Romana, Viva,Viva La Befana English Translation: The Befana comes by night, with her shoes all tattered and torn, she comes dressed in the Roman way, long life to the Befana.

Christmas Traditions 2011

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restaurants s Home care, rehab and skilled care services as needed

CALL TO SCHEDULE A FREE TOUR AND LUNCH!

724-443-0700, Ext. 5247 -ERIDIAN 2OAD s 'IBSONIA 0A

Quality. Value. Options. www.stbarnabashealthsystem.com Pittsburgh Catholic Magazine 37

Can you help Santa get his sack of toys to the Christmas tree?

CHRISTMAS WORD SCRAMBLE BENNORW

__ __ __ __ __ __ __ DEEHHPRSS __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ AIINTTVY __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ AEGLNS __ __ __ __ __ __ ABELST __ __ __ __ __ __ EJSSU

Water!

What do you sing at a snowman’s birthday party?

__ __ __ __ __ NEWBORN • SHEPHERDS • NATIVITY ANGELS • STABLE • JESUS

What do you call an old snowman?

Freeze a jolly good fellow!

WIN TICKETS TO KENNYWOOD PARK! Submit this coupon to be entered in a drawing for a chance to win 2 tickets to Kennywood Park, "Where New Memories Are Made!" Tickets will be mailed when available in spring.

Name Address City

State

Zip

Phone #

RULES/DISCLAIMER: To enter, complete the entry form here and mail it no later than Wednesday, December 21, 2011, to: KENNYWOOD CONTEST, PITTSBURGH CATHOLIC, 135 FIRST AVENUE, SUITE 200, PITTSBURGH PA 15222-1513; FAXES ACCEPTED AT 412-471-4228. Employees of the Pittsburgh Catholic Publishing Associates and Diocesan headquarters are not eligible. One entry per household.

38 Pittsburgh Catholic Magazine

Christmas Traditions 2011

Please give to those who have given a lifetime.

Retirement Fund for Religious

â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Tis the season to Share in the Care As you recall the people who have most shaped your life, you may remember the sister who prepared you for First Holy Communion or the brother who coached your high school basketball team. Never counting the cost, these religious shared with you love, faith, and a belief in all that you could be - choosing to invest in your future rather than their own. Today, these sisters, brothers and religious priests may be elderly or infirm. Today, they likely receive an average Social Security benefit of just over $4,500 annually.* Today, they need you. Please be generous.

Please visit our website for additional information, www.retiredreligious.org If you wish to Share in the Care, please remit coupon and donation to address on form.

Retirement Fund for Religious

Catholic Diocese of Pittsburgh/Department for Consecrated Life 111 Boulevard of the Allies â&#x20AC;˘ Pittsburgh, PA 15222-1618 For information call 412-456-3067 I am enclosing a contribution to say thank you to the retired sisters, religious priests and brothers.

$500

$250

$100

$25

$Other

Name _________________________________________________________________________________________ Address _______________________________________________________________________________________ City _________________________________________________State ______________ZipBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB $OO VWDWLVWLFV FLWHG DERYH DUH EDVHG RQ GDWD VXEPLWWHG WR WKH 1DWLRQDO 5HOLJLRXV 5HWLUHPHQW 2IÂżFH ZZZ XVFFE RUJ QUUR Â&#x2039; 8QLWHG 6WDWHV &RQIHUHQFH RI &DWKROLF %LVKRSV :DVKLQJWRQ '& $OO ULJKWV UHVHUYHG 3KRWRV WRS IURP OHIW 6LVWHU 'RURWK\ %XFNR 26) )DWKHU 5RQDOG 7XUFLFK 26$ WRS IURP OHIW 6LVWHU 0DJGDOHQH /RYULFK 26) 6LVWHU 0DU\ 5HJLQDOG *HUGHV 263 6LVWHU 0HUFHGHV %HQNR 26) %URWKHU -HURPH 6\VNR 26$ Â&#x2039; 8QLWHG 6WDWHV &RQIHUHQFH RI &DWKROLF %LVKRSV :DVKLQJWRQ '& $OO ULJKWV UHVHUYHG 3KRWRJUDSKHU FRORU SKRWRV -LP -XGNLV

Christmas Traditions 2011

Pittsburgh Catholic Magazine 39

BUILDING MEN OF FAITH, SCHOLARSHIP AND SERVICE.

WE SEE OUR FUTURE CLEARLY. Foundations for Our Future, our strategic plan, provides a clear roadmap for Central Catholicʼs continued success. It is with anticipation that we look to building men of faith, scholarship and service for generations to come.

CENTRAL CATHOLIC HIGH SCHOOL • 4720 FIFTH AVENUE • PITTSBURGH, PENNSYLVANIA 15213

40 Pittsburgh Catholic Magazine

Christmas Traditions 2011