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Mom’s poems, son’s poetic response | Father-daughter grads w w w. p ittsburghcatholic.org
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Gannon University is a caring community of dynamic faculty and staff who educate motivated students in an environment focused on Catholic values. One of the foremost of these values is service, both to our more than 4,000 students and by them. Last year, Gannon University students performed nearly 79,000 hours of community service in northwest Pennsylvania, Appalachia, Central America and Haiti. At Gannon, Pennsylvania’s only Diocesan university, you’ll not only learn to know the world, but learn to know yourself, too.
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Family Life 2012
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Inside this issue: 6 | In the neighborhood:
14 | ‘Don’t worry …’:
An intern tells of his experience with “Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood.”
The essence of a joyful life.
8 | Scout spirit:
Finding their place in today’s church.
How Scouting has had a “positive influence” on one family.
10 | Walking the labyrinth:
16 | Young adults:
17 | Generations together:
The mystical reality of an intimate connection.
An ancient symbol and powerful spiritual tool.
18 | A time to remember:
12 | Fields of dreams:
20 | Hail to the graduates:
Baseball for youngsters offers vast opportunities. Family Life 2012
Pittsburgh firefighters make the ultimate sacrifice.
Achieving one of life’s greatest personal accomplishments. Pittsburgh Catholic Magazine 3
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36 22 | The dress is the thing:
The excitement of Prom Night for a local family.
25 | Catholic and single:
Community activities bring people together for fun and recreation.
135 First Ave. • Suite 200 Pittsburgh, PA 15222 1-800-392-4670 www.pittsburghcatholic.org
Vol. 4, No. 3
26 | A special bond:
Mom and son trade poems and deepen their relationship. Publisher | Bishop David A. Zubik
28 | On the road for Christ:
NET Ministries gives a seminarian the opportunity to meet thousands of youth.
Marking that half-century milestone.
32 | An afternoon with Andy Warhol:
Hanging out with one of the most celebrated pop artists of the 20th century.
36 | A closer look:
39 | Information source:
Pittsburgh Catholic and Gumberg Library help readers find historic data.
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INE
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Featuring
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Operations Manager | Carmella Weismantle Associate Editors Phil Taylor (Special Projects) Chuck Moody (News) Senior Staff Writer | Patricia Bartos Staff Writer | John W. Franko Graphic Designers David Pagesh | Debbie Skatell-Wehner Director of Advertising | John Connolly
There are treasures to be found only a few yards from the beaten path.
RGH
Editor | William Cone Family Life Project Editor | John W. Franko
31 | The big 50:
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General Manager | Robert P. Lockwood
On the cover...
There is an interconnectedness among members that bonds the family, much like mountain climbers who rope themselves together when climbing a mountain, so that if someone should slip or need support, he’s held up by the others until he regains his footing. Phil McGraw (Dr. Phil), “Family First” Cover design by Debbie Skatell-Wehner
Account Executives Michael A. Check | Paul Crowe Michael Wire Circulation Mgr./Parish News Coord. Peggy Zezza Administrative Assistant | Amanda Wahlen
�
Pittsburgh Catholic Family Life Magazine is a complimentary publication available at all 204 Catholic parishes in the Diocese of Pittsburgh from the Pittsburgh Catholic Publishing Associates, Inc. Paid first-class delivered subscriptions are available. Advertising: ads@pittsburghcatholic.org Editorial: editor@pittsburghcatholic.org
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Pittsburgh Catholic Magazine 5
Being a part of
By JOHN WILLIAMS It was 1986, and I was just 19 and a sophomore at Point Park College (now university) when I was selected to be a production intern with “Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood.” I wasn’t sure what to expect considering Mr. Rogers’ was an influential national television show but what I found was something more akin to a local theater group creating lovingly crafted teleplays with the intent of instilling a faith-based sense of kindness, consideration and acceptance of others while encouraging the use of imagination and, most importantly, inspiring self-esteem in generations of young viewers. Heading up this troop of entertainers was, of course, Fred Rogers. His message was a
6 Pittsburgh Catholic Magazine
powerful one, yet, with a tender, disarming delivery. Off-screen, he was every bit of thoughtful and gentle with a welcoming warmth. His office door was always open and he was very approachable. I was told to call him “Fred,” but I wasn’t really at the level of adulthood where I felt comfortable with being on a first-name basis with one of my childhood heroes so the closest I could get was to call him “Sir.” My duties as an intern were just any other duties on a television production. Getting art supplies, picking up props, dropping off drycleaning (in this case Fred’s sweaters at a drycleaner in Squirrel Hill), making copies and a host of other office duties. But this allowed me to be part of the audience of the live theater of the Neighborhood. As I had mentioned, the show wasn’t a
All photos courtesy of The Fred Rogers Co.
very sophisticated production. The sets were well-worn from years of use and transportation to and from a warehouse in Lawrenceville, although the episodes I was involved with included a visit from Wynton Marsalis to Joe Negri’s Music Store and one of Fred’s renown operas, A Star For Kitty, which was the culmination of the week’s theme of “Celebrations” centering around Henrietta Pussycat’s birthday and her wish for a star as a gift. The opera especially relied on custom-built
Family Life 2012
sets and elaborate costuming, leading to a much higher production value than the typical Mr. Rogers’. Being on-set was truly like being a part of a live theater production with Johnny Costa and his trio providing live musical accompaniment and the actors performing everything live. There was nothing prerecorded or added in post-production (that I’m aware of). Fred would effortlessly switch character voices from puppet to puppet. In between takes, Fred would review the previous scene with his own gently critical eye to make sure that its sending the proper message to his youthful viewership. During one scene that took place in his home set, Fred has a birthday cake and is going to light a candle. He agonized over the proper way to show his viewers the lighting and extinguishing of a match. At one point he and the producers considered having a small fountain on the set to douse the match but it was ultimately determined that he would use the kitchen sink and state that matches are for adult use only. It was also decided that the cake should be a healthier cake so I was dispatched to Prantl’s bakery in Shadyside for a carrot cake. I doubt
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that anyone would recognize the type of cake that was under the frosting but those were the type of details that Fred fretted over. My most memorable moment with Fred came during a day we were shooting scenes for the “Neighborhood of Make Believe.” I was returning some of the puppet characters to the office from the studio and I decided to ask Fred for some tips on puppetry. I approached his office asking some basic questions about the manipulation of the puppets and I mentioned that Daniel Striped Tiger was my favorite character (which was also the puppet I had on my hand at the time). Fred immediately broke into Daniel’s voice saying, “I like you, John, you’re a very nice boy. Give me a hug.” It just validated my work there and made me feel like, dare I say, I am special.
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Williams is a graduate of Serra Catholic High School and Point Park University and attends St. James Parish in Wilkinsburg.
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Pittsburgh Catholic Magazine 7
Scouting has had a positive impact on my family By KATHY WASHY Years ago, when my older son came home from school excited about a flyer on joining Cub Scouts, I never would have believed that several years down the road I would be camping “primitive” style with the Boy Scouts at an air force base in Dayton, Ohio or leading a 10-mile Boy Scout educational hike through the Gettysburg Battlefield. Over the years, with both of my sons active in Boy Scouts, I have found that scouting has provided a common ground for our family, involving every member sharing in this positive activity. The central tenet of Boy Scouts is Scout Spirit, focusing on values that are in the scout law and oath. These range from a Scout being trustworthy and thrifty to being brave and reverent. A Scout is asked to live out the Scout Spirit daily, to be conscious of his actions. In our day to day routine, I find that I generally don’t take time to appreciate how
my sons have embraced these values. However, during the few times that I have camped with the Troop and the daily distractions are removed, I am able to step back and see my sons for who they are – Boy Scouts carrying out the Scout Spirit. When my husband joins our sons on troop camping trips, I find that when they return that there is a mutual bond developed between them, a bond based on scouting. Their father is able to share with them his own boyhood scouting experience, teaching them the same skills that he acquired through scouting. He is with them at camp, sharing in experiences from the solemn occasions of flag retirements to the slap stick comedy of the troop’s campfire
programs. When the big snow hit in February 2010, the three of them were camping with the
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Family Life 2012
troop at North Park and they woke up to their tents almost buried in snow — a shared experience that they will surely never forget. In our troop, we have many families who have found this connection through scouting and in some instances, the connection even spans generations as we have a few grandparents involved. For me, I feel that scouting has expanded our own family as the troop is in many ways a part of our extended family. We also enjoy the added benefit in that our family’s parish, St. Teresa of Avila, is the charter organization for our troop, which makes events such as Scout Sunday and troop service projects for the parish additionally meaningful to us. In my older son’s speech for his Eagle Court of Honor, he included a thank you to his great aunts, who are women religious, for their prayers. When he made this statement, I felt that he said it in a way that indicated an understanding of the religious aspect of scouting, recognizing that no matter whether or not he reached the rank of Eagle, his family and God were with him on this journey, a journey of learning Scout Spirit. These are years of scouting are ones that that we will always remember as a positive influence in all of our lives. My next camping trip will include my leading the troop on a 10mile educational hike around the Antietam Battlefield and I can’t wait to spend that time away with my sons away from everything! Washy and family are members of St. Teresa of Avila in Perrysville.
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Family Life 2012
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Pittsburgh Catholic Magazine 9
North Hills labyrinth offers a healing walk
Pray always! The Sisters of Divine Providence at Kearns Spirituality Center have for more than 40 years helped those making retreats and days of reflection fulfill this mandate of Jesus. In the year 2004, another means of prayer was made possible when the dedication of the labyrinth took place. Since then more than 10,000 guests have found that walking this path prayerfully has given them hope, forgiveness, joy, healing and a time of contemplation with our God. Not only guests at Kearns, but even students from La Roche College and Providence Heights Alpha School along with friends and neighbors of all faiths from far and wide have come to journey this path in their search of the holy. The labyrinth is open to the public every day and any day. The Chartres labyrinth is named after the cathedral in France where it was created. It consists of 11 paths that curve around four quadrants of a circle, including a six-petaled rosette at its center. The labyrinth at Kearns had very humble beginnings. Ten years ago, Sister Marian Senish, then director of Transfiguration House in Butler, created it simply by cutting grass, thus making the paths. At times it was difficult to follow, due to lack of rain, when the grass did not grow. It was then that Sister Marian began
10 Pittsburgh Catholic Magazine
thinking about a more permanent labyrinth. In 2003, Sister Marian and Bill Anney, engineer, spearheaded the more permanent project constructing the labyrinth with bricks and sand. Anney, then only 80 years young, spent many hours of labor making certain the labyrinth was according to scale. His son, Bill Rock, artist, contributed in making it a work of art. He selected a piece of petrified wood from Arizona for the center piece. Bill placed in the stone a medallion containing the symbol of Providence, the charism of the congregation. The words â&#x20AC;&#x153;We exalt thy Providence, O Lord, and we submit to all its decreesâ&#x20AC;?are found on the stone reminding all of the need for trust in God In the summer and fall of 2003, many volunteers offered to lay bricks and sand along the paths forming this intricate design. For religious pilgrims, the labyrinth can serve the same function as the rosary. For those needing to relieve stress, the labyrinth can serve the same purpose as knitting or cutting the lawn. It can be a short vacation from daily problems and anxiety. There is no right or wrong way to walk the labyrinth. For medieval Christians, the labyrinth was a symbolic pilgrimage. Today modern pilgrims walk the labyrinth as one of many ways to pray and meditate. The winding path into the center and back out again is a metaphor for
the journey of life and faith. Unlike a maze, which has many paths and is a puzzle to solve, the labyrinth is a single path in and out and is designed to quiet the mind for prayer, meditation and reflection. The center also provides an indoor labyrinth, and several finger labyrinths for those who find it difficult to walk. During the last two autumns, Kearns has offered four programs consisting of a presentation on some aspect of spirituality and how this can be used in walking the labyrinth for meditation and personal prayer. The presentation given by one of the Sisters of Divine Providence, is followed by a time for walking the labyrinth and time for reflection and sharing. This fall, meditations on the psalms will help attendees to pray the labyrinth. Perhaps you are looking for a way to spend a quiet afternoon. Why not make a little pilgrimage to Kearns Spirituality Center, bring a lunch, walk the labyrinth, and enjoy a picnic lunch on the lawn nearby. Pamphlets instructing the use of the labyrinth are available in the container by the labyrinth entrance. Perhaps your church would like to bring a group for a retreat. One of the staff will be happy to welcome you. To schedule a group call 412-366-1124 or kearnssc1@ pghcdp.org.
Family Life 2012
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Family Life 2012
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Training KAMP Baseball a ‘hit’ for Pittsburgh
By BRIAN BARCA “It’s all about exposure and understanding that whatever it is we do, our external circumstances don’t regulate us. That is the key to long term success.” These are the words of Brian Barca, who along with his wife, Sarah, founded Training KAMP Baseball in the summer of 2008 and opened their indoor baseball facility in early February of this year. Training KAMP Baseball or “TKB” as it is often referred to, is located inside the Carnegie Library of Homestead. The K.A.M.P. stands for Knowledge And Mental Preparation and is designed based on
12 Pittsburgh Catholic Magazine
experiences in three professional fieldsprofessional baseball, education, and the entertainment industry. Barca, a long time player and baseball enthusiast, has grown the company incrementally over the last four years. “It all started with a couple of people who knew that I played and had been around the game at a high level. They asked me to work with their child and from there; some specific things that I have learned in other areas of my life kind of just came together and formulated what Training KAMP Baseball is today.” When Barca speaks of these “specific areas of his life,” he is referring to the
different industries he has been fortunate enough to work in. They include working in baseball operations for a Major League baseball team, spending six years as a teacher ranging from the pre-school through high school levels, and studying human behavior under one of the top acting coaches in Los Angeles, Howard Fine. It was the combination of knowing the game and understanding not only how our body and mind work, but how they work at the different levels of growth that provides the different way of teaching that attracts so many. “There are a lot of great programs and instructors out there. If someone is getting
Family Life 2012
great instruction from a person who really knows the game, I think that is great. What we do is teach in a way that prepares players for not only the the proper physical movements on the baseball field, but also teaching concepts to handle the mental rigors that tend to consume and keep most players from reaching their full potential.” Barca emphasizes that when players come for instruction, they learn about things outside of baseball. “These concepts are transferable to all aspects of life. A kid needs to know that if he or she doesn’t play professional baseball, that’s okay. Did the player go to college for free because of it? Did this person end up getting a job one day or become a leader because of these concepts? That is our focus.” Growing tired of watching kids struggle on the field because of pressure from an “external-circumstances-driven” world is the reason Training KAMP Baseball exists today. It is a program based on a foundation of integrity. It’s about implementing a new way to see the obstacles players face on the field and the proper way to address them. “When players realize that things such as striking out do not dictate the player they are or even the person they are, they are free to grow and develop exponentially.” Training KAMP Baseball offers private one on one instruction, team instruction and facility rental. If you and or your child are interested in working with the Training KAMP Baseball team, please call them at 412-8488366 or visit them at www.trainingkamp.com for more information.
SHOULDN’T A CATHOLIC BE BURIED IN A CATHOLIC CEMETERY? All cemeteries aren’t created equal. A Catholic cemetery is a very special place, a sacred resting place, set aside by the church for the burial of the faithful. We believe the body is sacred, even after death, that it will rise again on the last day to be reunited with its soul. Learn more about the advantages of pre-planning in a Catholic cemetery.
THE WISER CHOICE
Pre-planning for funeral and burial needs removes the burden from your family.
WE CAN HELP
Call 877-886-7526 Call or visit us online at www.ccapgh.org to receive your free pre-planning guide Mail to: The Catholic Cemeteries Association, 718 Hazelwood Ave., Pittsburgh, PA 15217 Yes....with no obligation, I would like to receive information about pre-planning and receive my free copy of the new Catholic Emergency Record File Name ____________________________________ Phone ____________________________ Street ______________________________________________________________________ City __________________________________ State ________ Zip ____________________ Email ______________________________________________________________________ PCMAG-0612
Family Life 2012
Pittsburgh Catholic Magazine 13
Cultivating a true sense of Joy By BRENT DEAN ROBBINS At the very beginning of my career as a graduate student in clinical psychology, one of my first psychotherapy clients struck me mute when I asked her, “What brings you here?” She said, “I have no joy in my life.” I fumbled through the DSM-IV, a catalog of all known mental disorders and their symptoms. Nothing in that book even remotely resembles “Joy Deficit Disorder.” I sought advice from my supervisor. “What am I supposed to do with a client who says she has no joy in her life?”
He gave me a blank stare. “Perhaps go to the library, and see what you can find out.” What I found was a shocking paucity of research on joy and happiness. I decided at that moment I would complete my dissertation on the subject of joy. Fifteen years later, with various published and peer-reviewed studies under my belt, I am happy to report some key findings. Generally, there are two views of happiness: the “hedonic” and the “eudaimonic.” The hedonic view believes that joy is the result of the accumulation of pleasure and the avoidance of pain. The best contemporary example of hedonism is
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the rampant consumerism in our culture. The science shows us that people high in material values are very low in measures of happiness and very high in measures of misery. The science clearly shows us that the hedonic view of happiness is an empty promise. The “eudaimonic” view of happiness is consistent with the teachings of the church. This view holds that joy is not an end in itself, but a byproduct of realization of that which is truly good , the primary and ultimate source of which is God. Not surprisingly, then, the science reveals to us that people have more joy and happiness when they have high spiritual commitment, feel closer to God, and more regularly attend religious services. Through their sincere desire to know God, people come to appreciate existence as a gift, and this grateful disposition is associated with high mental and physical health in a variety of indexes. They also feel more connected with others, and this sense of community is also linked to greater joy. Christ teaches us that to fulfill our destiny as beings created in the image of God, we best follow his example through the joy of giving and self-sacrifice. Again, the science is clear that Christ’s teaching is correct. The science shows us that personal spending is unrelated to happiness, but spending on others through charity is related to greater joy and higher self-esteem. The state of joy itself reveals the true, eudemonic quality of joy. People describe states of joy as a warm glow which emerges from the center of the body and moves upward and outward. The expansive feeling is accompanied by a broadening of perception, a powerful sense of connection to others, a profound feeling of being rooted in the present moment, a sense of freedom, and a belief that the world is nurturing, life affirming and benevolent – all of which evokes a sense of awe, wonder and gratitude regarding the gift of existence. I am reminded of Christ’s parable of the mustard seed as a vision of heaven. To find joy, like the mustard plant, we must first bear fruit, and die to ourselves, in order to generate new life. The seed is the harbinger of that new life. Planted in the right soil, it bursts open, and lifts itself up and out toward the sun, a gesture of gratitude and praise, where it is blessed and bears fruit for others to enjoy. This is the essence of the joyful life. Robbins is director of the Psychology Program and associate professor of Psychology at Point Park University.
Family Life 2012
It’s more than a piece of junk . . . • It’s a month of meals for your unemployed neighbor and his family. • It’s new beds & furniture for a family of six who just lost their house in a fire. • It’s clothing for 10 children living in poverty. • It’s a dignified burial for an elderly woman who died alone in a nursing home. • It’s a month’s worth of gas & electricity payments for a family trying to make ends meet. The Society of Saint Vincent de Paul provides assistance to over 100,000 local people annually throughout the Diocese of Pittsburgh. Your tax deductible car donation enables us to serve our brothers and sisters in need.
It’s easy! Just call 800.322.8284 or visit www.svdpusacars.org and we’ll take care of all the details. Family Life 2012
Pittsburgh Catholic Magazine 15
By JESSIE JOHNSON A year ago, the catechetical administrators from Vicariate 1, District 1 in the North Hills had a meeting which the topic of young adult ministry was discussed. As a result, a group of young adults (age 18-40ish) from several area parishes assembled to plan an event for Young Adult Sunday, an annual celebration of young adults held the first Sunday of August. I was asked to be a part of the team of people and after several months of extensive planning we held a “Young Adult Smorgasbord,” on Aug. 7, 2011. About 40 young adults from all over Pittsburgh gathered for Mass, food and fellowhip and CYA (Catholic Young Adults) North Hills was born. Since then, CYA North Hills has grown into a grassroots organization with a web presence (including a Facebook page and a website), a leadership team of about 10 people and several weekly
16 Pittsburgh Catholic Magazine
and monthly events. CYA North Hills is one of the many initiatives in the diocese which seeks to engage young adults in varied ways from social events to Bible studies to Theology on Tap and everything in between. Our main goal is to create a sense of community and spiritual support for a generation that is increasing diverse and struggling to find a place in the church. At the same time, it is a generation whose members are actively seeking meaning and truth. It is here where the church must reach out and let young adults know that they are not only welcome, but also an essential part of the “Church Alive.” What does all this have to do with the topic of family? Perhaps telling a bit of my story will help explain the connection. I’m what you might call a “transplant.” Born and raised in northern Minnesota, I moved to Pittsburgh in 2009 for a job as the director of youth ministry at St. Teresa of Avila Parish in Perrysville.
I was 22 years old, just out of college and on my own for the first time in my life, and didn’t know a soul in the city. I had forgotten how to make friends from scratch, having lived most of my life with built in friend-makers: playgrounds, neighborhoods full of children my age, classes with my peers, clubs and dorms. All of those elements were stripped away very suddenly when I arrived in Pittsburgh and it was incredibly difficult to start over in a new place. I was a thousand miles away from my friends, parents and sister. I missed my family. When I got involved with CYA North Hills, I just wanted to find a network of peers that I could connect with — not just on a social level, but on a spiritual one as well. Throughout the last year, I’ve found something much more than that — I’ve found a family. The friends I’ve made through this grassroots ministry are like a strange web of siblings I never knew I had. While they can’t replace my sister or my other blood relatives, they have provided support, encouragement, the occasional shoulder to cry on, comic relief and spiritual accountability. They are the closet thing I have to a family here in Pittsburgh and they bless me in countless ways. We young adults find ourselves in a distinct time of transition. Some of us are just figuring out what it means to be independent from our parents. Some of us are recently married, with or without children, learning how to function as a new family. Whatever the case, we are called to be family for one another as brothers and sisters in Christ. The more opportunities are provided on the parish, vicariate and diocesan level to make such connections, the more we are able to live the Gospel with and for one another as we navigate together through this season our lives. And I can think of no church more alive that that. Johnson is youth minister of St. Teresa of Avila in Perrysville.
Family Life 2012
That sense of generations all connected By ROBERT P. LOCKWOOD The doorbell rang in the middle of the chaos. My son staggered over, pulled open the door, and a kid was there – maybe nine years old. My son looked down at his five-year-old nephew who was hanging at his side. “The kid a friend of yours?” my son asked. “Maybe,” was the answer, meaning that he was placing no bets until he knew how the cards read. Three generations are in the daughter’s house together. I’m the eldest, the grandpa. I’m with my son, who is also the uncle. And his nephews are my grandsons. We are there because my daughter and my wife have left us while they go to lunch. I have my four-week old grandson tucked against my chest, my son is shepherding my twin grandsons, and my son-in-law is the wisest of all: he has escaped to work for the day. So there we were. Infant, eager to be fed, making his eagerness known; grandfather and his son trying to figure out how to get the baby’s bottle to work; remaining grandchildren watching a reality television show about a guy who clears out varmints from people’s property, a show of which daughter would no doubt disapprove. But grandfather and son cannot take another minute of the Disney Channel. Into the chaos, a kid from the neighborhood. He announced from the opened front door that he was selling water balloons, four to be had for a buck. My son was skeptical of the sales pitch, mostly because the balloons were dry as a bone and levitating by a string at the kid’s side. “They’re guaranteed not to break,” the kid said, which I thought missed the entire point of a water balloon. But the baby was getting downright surly, so I gave my son a buck and the kid gave him four balloons. Five seconds after the front door closed, one of the grandkids popped a balloon. “I thought they were guaranteed,” I asked. “We probably missed the fine print,” my son answered, “but now I’m really glad they were blanks.” In a column in Commonweal magazine, John Garvey writes about waking one morning “with a strange physical sense of myself as the product of eons.” He wrote of “the sense of being the son of a son of a son … And you can go on way back, to a period where our ancestors slept in dens around fires in winter breathing bone dust.” I wasn’t in quite such a poetic mood. And rather than in that limbo between sleep and
Family Life 2012
waking, I was in the middle of it: an infant grandson now demanding to be fed, bad television blaring, front door ringing and balloons breaking. But I had that sense, a sense I get more often now, of the generations connected. Here I am, remembering my father and my grandfather that I knew, and touched, and loved. And there is my son. And that tiny new-born grandson who, God willing, will live to love a child and a grandchild. Seven generations, if I am counting right. All connected in the midst of an afternoon’s chaos. We used to call it the “Communion of Saints,” and it is also grandmothers and mothers, daughters and granddaughters. It is the mystical reality of an intimate connec-
tion — the Church Triumphant in Heaven, the Church Penitent in Purgatory, and the Church Militant here on earth. It’s one of the things that make us Catholic — that understanding of the connectedness of the generations that were, the generations that are, and the generations that will be. And the grace that binds us all together. The doorbell rang again and the kid was back. No doubt at his mother’s urging, he said it was not fair to charge so much for water balloons since they didn’t hold water. I told my son to have him keep the buck anyway. And then I fed the Church Militant. Lockwood is general manager of the Pittsburgh Catholic.
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Pittsburgh Catholic Magazine 17
A day of unity, mourning in Pittsburgh On Feb. 14, 1995, city of Pittsburgh firefighters Thomas Brooks, Patricia Conroy and Marc Kolends lost their lives in a tragic Valentine’s Day fire in Pittsburgh’s Homewood-Brushton neighborhood. Four days later, a mourning city said goodbye during a Funeral Mass at St. Paul Cathedral in Pittsburgh’s Oakland neighborhood. Below is staff writer John Franko’s account of the liturgy. His story appeared in the Feb. 24 issue of the Pittsburgh Catholic.
A
“palpable grief” filled St. Paul Cathedral Feb. 18 for the funeral of City of Pittsburgh firefighters Thomas Brooks, Patricia Conroy and Marc Kolenda. For family and friends it was a time to grieve, for thousands of comrades a last chance to say good-bye. For others, it was the only way they knew to honor those who gave their lives in the line of duty. The three died Feb. 14 while fighting a five-alarm fire in Brushton. More than 2,000 people jammed the cathedral for the Mass. Several hundred more watched the service in adjoining Synod Hall, while thousands listened via loudspeakers outside the cathedral and along Fifth Avenue. Crowd estimates ranged as high as 25,000. In his homily, Bishop Donald Wuerl eulogized the fallen firefighters as “heroes.” “Thomas, Patty and Marc would have been the last to accept the title as hero, but by their deeds they demonstrated a resolve and caring that are hallmarks of truly courageous people,” he said. “They are life-size, down-
18 Pittsburgh Catholic Magazine
to-earth heroic persons who have earned the esteem of this community because of what they did and how they did it.” From the arrival of the first hearse to the emotional playing of “taps” at the end of the service, those present were united in awe and respect. That spirit of unity, the bishop noted, was also shared by the fallen firefighters. “All had some important things in common,” he said. “They shared a faith in Jesus Christ, nurtured in His Church and enlivened by their participation in its sacramental life.” Capt. Brooks was a member of St. Joseph, Bloomfield; Conroy, a member of St. Regis, Oakland; and Kolenda, a member of St. Basil, Carrick. Bishop Wuerl pointed out that in the face of tragedy loved ones are sustained not only by the solidarity of those around them, but in the recognition that death’s victory is ultimately fleeting. “Faith in God is more powerful than death,” he said. “Belief in God’s promise overwhelms the darkness even of disaster.” The bishop closed by reminding those gathered that through the grief comes the realization that nothing can separate us from the love of God. “Even in our anguish and loss we know that God loves us,” he said. “Even in our confusion and inability to answer Why did this happen? — even in that frustration — we know that God loves us and loves them in life and in
death, in joy and affliction, and that is God’s love — eternal, everlasting and all embracing — that now awaits Thomas, Patricia and Marc.” Following Communion, members of the family joined public officials in offering brief tributes to the fallen firefighters. Daniel Brooks, godson of Capt. Brooks, remembered his uncle as a true leader who led by example, and a family man whose wife and children were his life. “I realize Tom’s life story was one of love, happiness, dedication and service to others,” he said. He thanked the people of Pittsburgh for their support, adding, “They’ve shown they won’t forget their fallen heroes.” Eileen Conroy spoke of her sister’s love of life. “My sister was a real Pittsburgher,” she said. “She loved her family, her faith, her neighborhood and her city.” She fondly recalled her sister agonizing over whether to march with the Ancient Order of Hibernians (of which she was a member) or the firefighters during the annual St. Patrick’s Day Parade. “That was so typical of my sister, trying to help everyone,” she added. “With your support and prayers we entrust Patty to the Lord. Who made and redeemed her, just as we entrusted our mom to the Almighty over a year ago. “I’d like to think that they are together now, their voices rising harmoniously in the
Family Life 2012
heavens, reuniting in the mystery of Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s love and life that awaits us all.â&#x20AC;? Robert Kolenda, himself a deputy fire chief, tearfully recalled swearing in his son eight months ago. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Part of the oath Marc took that morning was to serve the citizens of Pittsburgh to the best of his ability,â&#x20AC;? he said. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Tuesday (Feb. 14), Marc, Captain Brooks and Patty were called to serve â&#x20AC;&#x201D; and they served to the best of their ability.â&#x20AC;? Pittsburgh Fire Chief Charles Dickinson noted that all too often crime or unhappy stories dominate the news while heroic deeds go unnoticed. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Collectively, it took these three 22 years to make the front page, but at such a terrible cost,â&#x20AC;? he said. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Those who lay here so quiet are the best of Pittsburgh.â&#x20AC;? He described the service as a celebration of having known and worked with them. To those who didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know them, he simply said, â&#x20AC;&#x153;You wouldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve wanted them as a friend, a neighbor or a fellow firefighter.â&#x20AC;? Mayor Tom Murphy spoke of the importance of remembering public servants, who are often taken for granted. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Tom and Patty and Marc were not only firefighters, they were also carpenters, they were building this city,â&#x20AC;? he said. â&#x20AC;&#x153;They were part of all of us in that grand effort.â&#x20AC;? His voice broke as he addressed the families, sharing with them his condolences and those of the entire populace. â&#x20AC;&#x153;In your sorrow know the outpourings of respect today, with thousands of people and hundreds of fire vehicles, are because Patty and Tom and Marc succeeded,â&#x20AC;? he said. â&#x20AC;&#x153;They were builders. They touched peopleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s lives.â&#x20AC;?
Family Life 2012
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Pittsburgh Catholic Magazine 19
Daughter & dad
receive diplomas same day
Michael and daughter, Maggie Andreola, at Franciscan University’s recent commencement ceremonies.
By MARGARET and MICHAEL ANDREOLA
Daughter: May 12, 2012 is a day that I have been working toward for the past four years: the day when I would officially receive my undergraduate degree from Franciscan University of Steubenville. A small passionately Catholic school in the Ohio valley, FUS has been my home away from home, helping me to grow exponentially in my faith and successfully complete my bachelors in mental health and human Services. I think it is safe to say though that most people did not have the same experience on graduation day that I did. My father was also graduating the same day from Franciscan with his master’s in business administration. My dad is the most important man in my life right now, so it was really cool to be able to share this milestone with him. The weeks leading up to graduation, I excitedly told my friends about how my dad and I would be graduating together and
20 Pittsburgh Catholic Magazine
how we could “take matching pictures together in our caps and gowns!” When the busy day rolled around, I got ready very early in the morning, and was able to attend my father’s graduate commencement ceremony which takes place before the undergraduate ceremony. I was very proud to watch my dad receive his degree because I know how hard he worked for it. With little time in between ceremonies, I quickly threw on my own cap and gown at the closing of his ceremony, snapped a few photos together with the family, and rushed off to my place in line to begin my own graduation ceremony. And I have to say, the matching picture of us in our caps and gowns will be one that I will treasure for the rest of my life.
Dad: Having graduated from college some 20 years prior, I decided to take the plunge and enroll in the part-time MBA program at Franciscan University soon after I began working there in
2005. There I was, raising seven children, working full-time (48 miles from home), sitting in classes with students who in many cases were the same age as my oldest children. Graduating with my MBA seemed like a fantasy to me over those first four years. Many times I wondered why I was putting myself through this and thought of taking some “time off,” waiting until things “settle down” (knowing they never really do). But then about a year and a half ago, I realized something. If I could just muster enough resolve for a final sprint, double up on summer classes, and go full throttle every semester, I just might be able to get all my requirements done in time to graduate on the same day as my daughter. By working at Franciscan and now at La Roche College, I have been blessed to be able to make education more accessible for our children. I hope that in some small way, by completing my MBA while juggling many other family and professional responsibilities, I have shown them that learning should be a lifelong pursuit, not merely a means to get a handsomely framed diploma. After enduring many semesters of goodnatured teasing about my relatively advanced age, and all the long drives, long days and late nights (and more than one all-nighter finishing a research paper or cramming for an exam), it was all worth the cost when my wife, Eileen, and all of our kids watched me receive my degree early on Saturday, May 12, then we joined in watching Maggie receive hers. The family was definitely proud of Maggie and the old man. Hopefully, our younger kids will never forget this day. And whatever challenges they take up in life, if they ever feel discouraged or think of packing it in, they might be inspired by this memory to stay the course until they have reached their goals. The Andreolas are members of St. Elizabeth of Hungary in Pleasant Hills.
Family Life 2012
Eighth-grade graduation creates special memories By PHIL TAYLOR It was 12 years ago that my wife and I sat in St. Bartholomew Church in Penn Hills for eighth-grade graduation. Twelve years later we did it again. The first time it was for my own kid and the Class of 2000. I remember it so well. Of course, they are all adults now in their mid 20s. This time it was a little different. The graduate, Bricen Garner, is the youngest son of my neighbors, Terry and Lisa. But it was still eighth-grade graduation, and it was still St. Bart’s. Eleven years of Junes had passed, and we could hardly feel the difference. It was a pretty good turnout for an early Monday night in June. A mild summer evening. God does smile on his own. We sat and listened to the homily given by Father Tom Dansak. He spoke on the kids’ level and gave them some really sound advice about life. Among other things, he told them not to listen to people who will urge them to do things “because everyone is doing it.” He also said there is never a good reason to use profanity. (I hope the adults were listening.)
Family Life 2012
My favorite: No matter how much success you attain in life, academically, materially, etc. you should remain humble. “There is only one God, and you’re not him.” One of the highlights of the liturgy was when the graduates turned around and faced the congregation as they prayed the Our Father in Spanish. It was quite a surprise. I have to admit I didn’t see that one coming. As the young people were called up to the altar to receive their diplomas from Holy Family of Nazareth Sister Dorothy Pawlas, parish life collaborator, principal Linda Pricer and eighth-grade teacher Jill Smith, I must admit I was checking them out closely. The body language of 13- and 14-year-olds can reveal a lot, particularly when they are in the spotlight. No surprises, they seemed like an exceptional bunch of young people. Eighth-grade is a tough time for some kids. Those mid-teen years have presented many parents with more than a challenge or two. I remember being invited to talk to my daughter’s seventh-grade class, and I started my talk by confessing to them that when I was their age, life wasn’t easy for me. “I had some problems,” I told them. When
St. Bart Grad Bricen Garner with mom, Lisa, and dad, Terry.
I looked up, I was surprised to see nearly half the class nodding in agreement. Transition periods can be tough on the young and old as well. Every generation seems to face its own challenges. It won’t be any different for the Class of 2012. Following the baccalaureate Mass, the awards ceremony and speakers, we were entertained by a musical DVD presentation. It featured family photos of each graduate from nearly birth to the young men and women they have now become. I thought it was a nice touch to a great evening. So here’s to Aniya Adams, Kelly Friday, Bricen, Aurora Gorring, Cheyenne Harris, Dominique Jones, James Lunsford, Brendan Marks, Patrick Palermo, Brianna Pawlowski, Peter Rubash, Jeffrey Socash, Nicholas Tzoulis and Stephanie Zagorski — the St. Bartholomew School Class of 2012. May the Lord bless you and all the members of the Class of 2012. And remember: “Once a Bruin, always a Bruin.” Taylor is an associate editor of the Pittsburgh Catholic.
Pittsburgh Catholic Magazine 21
By PEGGY ZEZZA
Since I grew up in a close family, I was always hanging around with my brothers and sisters. Thus, it was of no surprise that I would become close to their children, my nieces and nephews. Having no children myself, I was able to be there for all the momentous occasions. Important ones, like baptisms, birthdays, communions and confirmations. I was also there for life’s little moments, like playing hide and seek, making silly videos, going out for ice cream, taking them to their first movie, and many more memories that I hold close in my heart. Out of my eight nieces and nephews, four have graduated high school, with my niece Sami graduating this year. I have watched with pride
as they grew up from adorable children to handsome and polite gentlemen and lovely young ladies. This feeling of pride becomes apparent when you see them go to their first dance, and the prom. Now, most proms and dances have become big family photo shoots. For all my nieces and nephews, the photo shoots were always held at a family member’s house. Through the years I got to meet parents, grandparents, aunts, siblings, uncles and friends who have Samantha “Sami” Passarello
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22 Pittsburgh Catholic Magazine
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all come to the big photo shoot. You hear the family photographers exclaim, “just beautiful,” “wow, how handsome,” and other exclamations. Just a few weeks ago, I attended the last one of these photo shoots for my niece when she attended her high school senior prom with 18 friends. There is a lot of preparation before that photo shoot arrives, especially for the young ladies. You need to find the right dress, the matching shoes, do the hair and make it just right. Also, make sure her date’s tie matches the color of her dress. All this preparation seems to be superficial, but the prom does make for a momentous event in life. There is the mother/daughter shopping adventure for the dress, the moment of pride as dad looks at what a lovely lady his daughter has become. The mother gazing upon her handsome son. There are the snickers from siblings that know their sister looks beautiful, but will not admit it, and the grandma who cries knowing she is blessed just to see her grandchild grow up. For me,
smile. It was not the gorgeous dress or the hair that overwhelmed me, but it was her inner beauty. I was so proud of the smart, kind, always positive lady she had become. As I stood there taking photos, it seemed like it was a lot to take in, but I was looking beyond the beauty of the dress. As the camera clicked, my feelings erupted in pride, my mind flashbacked to the day I saw her first dance recital, and my heart was overwhelmed with joy for a young person who has grown up before my eyes. For those family members who helped raise a child, whether you changed diapers, read a book, took them to church, you contributed to their mental, physical and spiritual growth. There will come the day, like the prom, when you realize they have grown up so quickly before your very eyes. You will stand there hoping they find happiness as they travel the road of life with God, the lessons you taught them, and the love you gave them.
“Sami” poses with her mother, Doreen, before leaving for the prom.
it was the aunt who is there to capture the event on film. As I was snapping the photo, I was overwhelmed with pride and wept a few tears as my niece smiled her beautiful
Zezza is circulation manager and parish news coordinator of the Pittsburgh Catholic.
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Family Life 2012
Where do single Catholics meet after college? By DOLORES NYPAVER
Many people tell their unique story about how they first met their future spouse when they went away to college. But what are your options for meeting other Catholic singles if you havenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t met that special someone by the time youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve earned your college degree?
The Catholic Alumni Club of Pittsburgh is a nonprofit organization of single professionals â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Catholic college graduates over the age of 21 who are free to marry in the church. To qualify for full membership, you must be a college graduate (two-year college included) or a registered nurse. Others may join as associate members. The club brings its members together through a wide variety of social, recreational, athletic, cultural, charitable, and spiritual activities. It provides opportunities for singles to meet and develop friendships in a variety of interesting and enjoyable settings. Some activities include seasonal dances; group dining at local restaurants; concerts, plays, tours, and other events; and sports activities such as volleyball, golf, biking, hiking, skating, and bowling. The club has organized tennis and softball leagues that play every week in the summer months. The athletic events provide a great
Family Life 2012
combination of low intensity competition and friendly interaction. Also available are special Masses, retreats, inspirational speakers, Scripture discussions, and other spiritual activities. House parties and game nights are friendly, low-pressure gatherings held at membersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; homes. These are usually held monthly and make great ice breakers for new members. Community volunteering activities provide a great way to spend time with others who enjoy helping a good cause. Several times a year, ski trips, getaway weekends and vacations are planned to take advantage of healthy fun at group rates. With so many activities going on, the CAC sends out its own monthly newsletter to keep members informed of all upcoming events. As the local affiliate of Catholic Alumni Clubs International, the Pittsburgh club was established in 1966 and currently boasts nearly 200 members. There are about 30 Catholic Alumni Clubs nationwide. An annual national convention and regional weekends offer local CAC members the opportunity to meet other members across the country. Many members have met at CAC, gotten to know each other, and moved on to marriage. When they do, they become alumni members of the group, and have a greatly reduced access to the groupâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s activities. CAC Alumni are invited to the annual Christmas dinner dance, to participate in the softball league, square
dances, and whitewater rafting, and can even bring their children to some picnic and other sporting events In summary, the CAC provides many enjoyable, interesting, and fulfilling activities, while providing ample opportunities to meet, socialize, and develop friendships with other Catholic singles. While social interaction between CAC members has led to dating and marriage for many, others are simply pleased to share the company of other Catholic singles. This writer and her sister both met their husbands on the softball field at CAC, where over 100 players participate and the emphasis is on fun. What could be more fun than finding other Catholics to share your time and activities? It may even mean making a special friend for life! Find more information on CAC activities at www. cacpittsburgh.org. Nypaver is assistant director of the diocesan Office for Stewardship and Development.
Dr. John Kuntz, Principal
Pittsburgh Catholic Magazine 25
Mom’s poems and son’s poetic response Florence Kriss, who died April 17 at the age of 90, put her thoughts into poems. They inspired her son, Father Aaron Kriss, pastor of Holy Martyrs in Tarentum, to author his own loving responses.
Promised Land
Dear El
Trust
I said good-bye to 68 And smile at 69. I knew without a single doubt that things would just be fine.
Of all the women I’ve ever known I consider you the best. Not because you’re one of my own But because you’ve surpassed the rest.
I’m traveling on the wings time my destiny is unknown. Yet I’ve no fear of the future As I am one of God’s own.
And when at last my time has come to pierce the Twilight Zone, I know with a trace of doubt I will not be alone.
You show concern and love for others. You serve our Lord with delight. In eternity I do believe You’ll shine like a star in His sight.
For in this other dimension I’ll see my Cherished Friend. He’ll smile and offer me His Hand And give me life without end. Some see death as an enemy I see him as a friend. If I live by the Golden Rule And live it to the end.
Florence S. Kriss
A Soul in Flight I’d like to fly high in the sky And settle on a cloud. Here I’d commune with the One True God Far from the maddening crowd. I would not speak but give an ear To what He had to say. My rapturous soul would then take flight And soar the Master’s Way.
F.Kriss
Dear Aaron Now that you’ve reached number 28 The feeling must be so oh so great. To know you’ve accomplished much in time, Continue in your steady climb. There much to be done along the way, You’ll do just fine from day to day. If you let the Master take the lead And follow Him in word and deed.
F. Kriss
Hope One day all the aches and pains of life will disappear. In a land where joy abides We’ll be forever near. So praise the Lod and give Him thanks; Burst into happy song. Those dark clouds looming overhead Won’t always last for long.
F. Kriss
P.S: Knowing how much you like sports and such I’ve added this for poetic touch: Beat the devil and call it a game. Do it all in God’s Holy Name. Go to bat for every poor sinner. Show the fiend you are a winner!
F.Kriss
F. Kriss
26 Pittsburgh Catholic Magazine
Family Life 2012
Gracefully Through Time If life is a journey You have traveled many miles. You have shed a few tears But have worn many smiles. God’s blessings have been poured on you; Truly they are a great amount. Good health and a loving disposition Are just a few to count. Your sense of humor and intellect Shine for others to see. Because you are your pleasant self You are happy as can be.
Father Aaron and his sister, Ellen, with their mother at her 90th birthday party last year.
On your journey of 90 years, You have lived gracefully through time. You’ve gone through life’s deserts and valleys, And there were the mountains to climb. As you’ve reached this milestone In your humble and holy life. Know of our love for you For being a dedicated mother and wife. As you continue on your journey, It is our most sincere wish, That you be blessed and rewarded with eternal heavenly bliss!
Father Aaron Kriss
Father Aaron, his mother, his brother, Mark, and his late brother, Father David Kriss.
Family Life 2012
Pittsburgh Catholic Magazine 27
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Family Life 2012
By DAN WARUSZEWSKI
“God loves you so much that he died on the cross thinking of you.” Words like these were said on all 107 of my retreats while with NET ministries, reaching out to catholic youth, grades 6-12, across America, and they still remain relevant to us all. The fact is that we are all made by God out of love and redeemed by Christ. That makes us all sons and daughters of the living God. He wants to show us his love everyday but we need to allow him to love us, just for who we are, not for what we do. He loves us too much to let us suffer and die in our sin, and so he continually reaches down with his loving hand to lift us up to him, to give us joy, hope, purpose and a peace that surpasses all understanding. This is the message I helped bring to the thousands of retreatants over 15 dioceses on my year with NET and have come to believe it more and more truly because of the unique experiences I had to rely solely on the Lord. Six retreats a week is a tough schedule for anyone, and it is sure that without God’s grace we would have burned out
school retreat in Kansas, our trailer popped off the hitch. When our driver slammed the breaks, the hitch rammed into the back of the trailer, gouging it
retreatants after a retreat, seeing their eyes light up when they understand that God really loves them, or hearing them say they want to make a difference like us,
early on if not for our commitment to personal prayer 30 minutes a day, as well as team worship. We truly felt the power of God get us through many retreats and host families when we felt we didn’t have the strength go on. We had many opportunities for this wholehearted trust, moving town to town in a 12-passenger van with a trailer, rarely knowing any details about the next parish or host family other than its address and phone number. Of course it’s always easiest to see how God worked in the big ways so I’ll tell you one story. In the middle of January after a high
open. Luckily this did not happen on the main highway where a large accident undoubtedly would have occurred. As we were getting ready for a 10hour drive to Milwaukee, my team leader requested that I get the trailer fixed. As I was asking a parish employee where to find a phonebook she told me to wait, a fellow parishioner was a mechanic. Long story short, here at Blessed Mother Teresa Parish, we were able to get our trailer patched up at no cost, and it lasted through the year and beyond. I have many other stories of God providing food and shelter for us, but the best ones come from talking to the
doing something amazing for God. “For I tell you the truth, many prophets and righteous men longed to see what you see but did not see it” This verse from Matthew 13:17 perfectly encapsulates my experience on a year of service with NET ministries. I truly got to see God work in miraculous ways that many wait their entire lives to see. I saw him touch hearts, change lives and provide in miraculous ways. I got off the road last May and have continued to follow God’s call, leading me to St. Paul Seminary in Crafton. I will be in second pre-theology this fall. Feel free to contact me.
Family Life 2012
Father Michael Zavage, parochial vicar at St. Teresa of Avila in Perrysville, joins Waruszewski (behind his left shoulder) and other NET members during their visit to SS. Simon and Jude in Scott Township.
Pittsburgh Catholic Magazine 29
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Family Life 2012
Reflections on turning 50 By JOHN FRANKO This month I turned 50. I’ll be eligible to join AARP. Forty wasn’t a problem. In fact, it was fairly easy. But 50 is a different story. Maybe it’s the half-century thing. Or maybe my body is telling me things that it never told me before. The media is geared to 20-Somethings and grade school students are more tech savvy than I am. Bars are filled with people old enough to be my kids and I increasingly find myself being one of the older people in the room. The theme song from my prom plays on the oldies channel and Olivia Newton-John is a grandmother. “Oh Sandy!” And every week, another one of the television or movie personalities I grew up with passes on. I recently found myself putting on a baseball cap backwards and looking in a mirror. Where has time gone? I am blessed to be in a relationship with a beautiful woman with more patience than anyone would ever have the right to expect. I’m part of a loving family and I have a job that allows me to live a vocation. I’m truly thankful. And yet, it seems like there has to be more. I’ve looked for ways to counter the yearnings. I ran my first marathon in 20 years two years ago and I plunged myself into various service projects. I’ve made a bucket list of things I want to see and experience. I bought a new car a couple of months ago, though I don’t think a Corolla Sport gives off the same vibes as a Porsche. There may be clinical terms for what I am experiencing, but it’s much deeper than that. No matter where we are in life we — at least most of us — want to know that we make a difference. I’ve often adhered to the thought of “If I died tomorrow, what would my obituary read?” I liken the race of life to that of a marathon. When one crosses the finish line there is exhaustion, but there is also the exhilaration of knowing that you left everything on the course. When my time comes will I have given it all? It’s in that reflection that our shortcomings are exposed. Many mistakes over the years. So many “what ifs?” And even finishing the marathon can lose its luster when we start to think “Now what?” For many years, I seriously considered a vocation in ministry because I knew it was the best way to fully give of oneself. That thought has never completely gone away. But what do you do when you’re fairly certain that God has other plans? How do you seek that fulfillment? While the “easy button” answer is to be Christ-like in everything we do, the reality is that it is never easy. We will always be tempted by the “good life” and the easy road.
Family Life 2012
The author (left) with his late mother, Billie Jo, and his brother Stephen in 1965.
And it isn’t just a middle-age thing. I have found that people 25 years older still ask the same questions. And most of them still have dreams.
So back to the bucket list I go. I’ve been an extra in a movie, and last year I was able to make it to Hollywood and Disneyland. Hey, some dreams really do come true. I still want to go to Hawaii (layovers don’t count), jump out of a plane and learn how to play the guitar — or the piano — or the drums. And now I’m fascinated by the trumpet. Then there’s the novel. But there is also Connie. Believe me, I didn’t list by priorities. In the end, when I count my blessings I know that I have been pretty fortunate. And I also know that while I still have dreams I can only control my destiny to a certain extent. God is really in control. But he never stops us from running the race. How much we exert ourselves is up to us. Franko is a staff writer at The Pittsburgh Catholic newspaper.
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Pittsburgh Catholic Magazine 31
By JOHN FRIES It was about noon on that unseasonably cold Thanksgiving Day in 1985 when Mark Warhola and I boarded the plane that would take us from Pittsburgh to New York. Close friends since childhood, we were both in our 20s, grew up within three blocks of each other, and had spent a ton of time together over the years. We were about as inseparable as friends could be, and were always planning new adventures. One day the phone rang and it was Mark. He asked if I’d be interested in going to New York for a few days. He needed to help his uncle with a new computer system that had been installed in his Manhattan studio and
suggested we make a weekend of it. Of course, I said yes. So we bought our tickets and made hotel reservations. And sometime time during the early afternoon, our plane left Pittsburgh and, about 50 minutes later, touched down at La Guardia. By mid-afternoon we were in Manhattan and knocking at the door of the Factory, the studio owned by Mark’s uncle, legendary pop artist Andy Warhol. When I was a child, drawing was one of my favorite pastimes and Andy Warhol was one of my art heroes. Although he’d left Pittsburgh with a degree from Carnegie Tech and started his career in New York as an advertising illustrator, he had been
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instrumental, along with a handful of his contemporaries during the 1950s, in establishing the Pop Art movement. The movement sought to create art that emphasized the objects of everyday life. These works ranged from Roy Lichtenstein’s huge acrylic paintings of comic panels, complete with Benday dots, to Andy’s silkscreened images — including the famous Campbell’s soup can. Eventually, brilliantly colored Pop Art paintings and installations would share gallery space alongside oil paintings made by the masters. Mark’s Uncle Andy was a Pop Art pioneer, but he was also more than that; he was an influencer of popular culture, a role he would play for three decades until his untimely death following gallbladder surgery in 1987. Mark only had to knock once. The door opened and there Andy stood, his white hair and red, round plastic eyeglass frames in stark contrast to his outfit of black shirt, black Levi’s 501s and black Reeboks. He looked like a New York artist. He smiled, shook our hands and welcomed us into his studio. I expected he’d be shy and diffident, but he didn’t come across that way at all. He was soft-spoken, which was consistent with my expectations, but also very articulate and friendly. Several of his large silkscreen paintings, maybe six- or seven-feet tall, leaned against the right wall. He led us to a small sofa that was directly across from his business office. One side of the office was a huge window. Mark went into the office to talk with Vincent Fremont, one of Andy’s business associates. I sat on the sofa next to Andy, where we had a delightful chat. I asked Andy about the evolution of his
Family Life 2012
aesthetic style. In the earliest days of his career, he worked as an illustrator, drawing in ink and sometimes using washes or other media to embellish or accent his illustrations. As a pop artist, he was a prolific silkscreen painter. Later, he handdrew outlines, often in contrasting colors, over his silk-screened canvases. He said he wanted to keep changing how he created art. Considering that he was active as a filmmaker, television producer, magazine publisher, author and, for a time, digital artist, it is clear that he continually sought new ways to engage in creative expression. Pointing to a statue of a dog in one corner of the studio, I asked Andy if the familiar squiggly figures painted on it were the work of (the now-late) Keith Haring. He said that Haring had in fact painted the statue there at the studio. What I didn’t know in 1985 was that Haring, prior to becoming a well-know pop artist himself, had studied commercial art at the former Ivy School of Art on Pittsburgh’s North Side. For quite some time, Andy and I continued our conversation. He was a genuinely nice man. Although he didn’t visit Pittsburgh often, he was up to speed on what was happening here and mentioned his close relationship with Carnegie Mellon. In fact, he would welcome students to visit the Factory. He also had an impressive knowledge of the business landscape. “What do you do?” he asked me. I told him that I worked in marketing in a creative capacity and that his career had been inspirational to me. “You should consider moving to New York,” he said, adding that Manhattan offered myriad opportunities. Although I was happy in my current position and loved living in Pittsburgh, New York was one of my favorite vacation destinations. I didn’t pursue a career there, but have visited many times over the years, both on fun excursions and business trips. After Mark finished his computer conversation with Vincent, we said goodbye to Andy and thanked him for letting us drop by. I asked if it would be OK to photograph him and Mark. He said he’d be glad to do that. I shot a photo of Andy and Mark standing in front of one of Andy’s paintings.
Family Life 2012
Then, Mark took a photo of Andy and me. Andy then said he was going to go out as well, then told us to have a fun evening — his treat. Mark and I went to dinner, then took a cab to a comedy club where we laughed at a series of stand-up comics well into the night. A few days later, on Sunday morning, Mark and I attended Mass at St. Patrick’s Cathedral in Midtown. Mark and his family are Byzantine Catholics, a faith that informed much of Andy’s art. Although I was Roman Catholic, I went to Mark’s church a few times to experience the beauty of the Divine Liturgy. I learned later on that Andy was a regular churchgoer as well. After Mass, Mark suggested we stop by Uncle Andy’s house before going to the airport for our return flight. We packed our bags packed and left them at the hotel, then took a cab to Andy’s townhouse and rang the doorbell. Andy answered and asked us to have a seat. He was in the middle of a phone conversation he had every Sunday with his brother and Mark’s father, John Warhola. After Andy hung up the phone, he spent time chatting with us. At one point he
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excused himself, then returned with a couple catalogues from exhibitions of his art, signed them and gave them to me. This had been a weekend like no other. I had the opportunity to interact with one of the most important artists of the 20th century. I got to see where he worked and where he lived. And I’d learned that behind the enigmatic public persona and prolific output was a nice guy from my hometown. A short time later, Mark and I went to the airport, boarded our flight and returned home to Pittsburgh. Fries is a local communications practitioner.
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Pittsburgh Catholic Magazine 33
Catholic Family Movement offers families support By CATHY FRANK As a fairly recent convert to Catholicism I was looking for ways to get involved at church and make connections that would hopefully last a lifetime. I also wanted my children grow up in the church enjoying everything church life has to offer. I didn’t have that experience but my friends who did commented that the best times they had in life had stemmed from their church experiences. I met with my pastor, Father Thomas Lewandowski and Sister of St. Joseph Barbara Ann Johnston, at St. Camillus de Lellis in New Castle to pitch the idea of a group of Catholic families coming together on a regular basis. They were fully supportive and the Catholic Family Movement was
Members of several families enjoy a Catholic Family event at the Coolsprings Corn Maze in Mercer, Pa. last October.
born. The Catholic Family Movement is a group for individuals and families that want a place to share faith, values, friendship and fun We meet once a month and do a variety of fun activities such potluck dinners, picnics, game nights, scavenger hunts, visit local attractions and attend sporting events. This isn’t a group for just one parish, but rather it is open to all Catholics in Lawrence County (and anyone willing to travel.) The group being open to all means that whether you are married, divorced or single it is an organization for everyone. The short term goals of the movement are to bring together Catholics in our area and build community, to strengthen our faith through socialization, and to produce a higher involvement
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Family Life 2012
within our parishes. Long-term goals for the Catholic Family are evangelization and a mid-week children’s program. Here is what our greatest supporters had to say about the group: “I like knowing that my young children are going to grow up around other children of similar morals and faith. I want them to see that being Catholic is being ‘catholic’ that it is more than their own parish and CCD program. The Catholic Family involves many Catholics from different parishes. We keep coming back to events so that my husband, my kids and I can meet old friends and make new friends as we all work to raise our children in a sometimes scary world that seems to lack the faith and moral standards that we want our children to have. And of course, there is almost always food.” — Rita and Joseph Ditch, Mary Mother of Hope Parish “As a Catholic family, we know the benefits of
having our children’s faith formed in a parish community environment where we are actively involved and welcome members of the parish family. The Catholic Family Movement has been a blessing to us by offering activities that support family faith formation and fun. Through the movement, we have formed friendships and support systems with families from all the Catholic parishes in the New Castle region; families that share our values and reinforce the behavior and attitudes that we encourage at home. Catholic families are the future of the Catholic Church in our community. Being a part of the Catholic Family Movement gives us a fun and friendly way to serve our parishes!” — Rose and Scott Stone, St. Vitus Parish “The Catholic Family Movement has been a wonderful blessing for our family. Not only do our children get to make friends with children from families with similar morals and values, but my husband
and I have been able to make wonderful, supportive and faith filled friends. It has been a great source of friendship, fun, faith, support and hope.” – Amy and John Chornenky, St. Vitus Parish “Through Catholic Family Movement, we have become very close friends with others who were previously just faces we would see at Mass. The events and activities have been enjoyable for the whole family and have given us the opportunity to get to know other parents who care as deeply as we do about our faith and our families. The children have fun playing with each other and now look forward to Mass and CCD where they will see their new friends. Overall, we feel blessed by CFM and have a stronger and deeper connection with our parish family.” — Janice and Brian Burick, St. Camillus Parish For more information about the Catholic Family Movement contact Cathy Frank at 724-652-9471.
Men’s fellowship a support to families By BRAD TUPI I am a sinner. Part of my salvation strategy is to surround myself with Catholic men. In furtherance of this strategy, I have been attending Catholic Men’s Fellowship meetings on Saturday mornings at my parish for several years. Over most of that time, we have used the Signposts workbook to guide our study and discussion. We read aloud from the Bible and catechism; those readings revolve around a specific theme for the week. In discussing that theme, we talk about how the Bible and Catechism passages relate to our life experiences. The discussions are often hilarious, sometimes personal and always confidential. How do these weekly sessions affect a man’s family life? Profoundly, in my opinion. Here are a few examples. Many church teachings are countercultural, in that they run contrary to the prevailing secular culture. Natural family planning, for instance. Most of us know that the church prohibits artificial birth control, but do not understand why. In my CMF group I have had the opportunity to know men who have practiced natural family planning, and who praise its benefits for their marriage. I have a new-found respect for the wisdom of the church’s teaching as a result. Almost every week I am struck by how knowledgeable some of my fellow Catholics are about our faith. They inspire me to learn more. Some of my CMF brothers are not only conversant with Scripture and the catechism, but with important encyclicals and pastoral letters. The amount of material available to
Family Life 2012
us Catholics is vast, and its content is rich. We grapple with moral questions in our lives, only to find that these questions have been pondered — and answered — by learned men of the church centuries ago. One of the things I have learned from my CMF brothers is how important it is for me, as father and husband, to exercise spiritual leadership in my family. I only wish I had learned this 25 years ago. One of my CMF brothers, influenced by Matthew Kelly, gently disciplines his children by asking them whether they are being the best versions of themselves! As a result of my CMF experience, I find myself leading my family in prayer more often, talking about faith more often, and promoting reconciliation more often. Participating in CMF on Saturday morning starts my weekend in prayer. CMF brothers talk about our prayer lives. We talk about praying the Liturgy of the Hours and praying on the way to work. Praying while driving makes it much less likely that I will run a red light or get angry at another driver! Praying morning and evening prayers at home shows spiritual leadership to my family, because other family members see that I set aside quiet time for the Lord. Praying grace before a meal in a restaurant shows a willingness to acknowledge Jesus openly, in the midst of believers and non-believers alike, and gradually reduces the shyness that some family members feel about thanking God in public. Attending CMF regularly makes God a bigger part of my daily life. I spend more time talking with him and less time worrying about worldly things. Those worldly concerns never disappear, of course, but recognizing the
Lord at my side makes those troubles fade a bit. This allows me to find more peace and patience, which translates into a more loving and tranquil family life. I encourage all readers of this piece to attend their local parish CMF groups and nourish their spiritual lives. And I thank our parish pastors and our Shepherd, Bishop Zubik, for their consistent support of CMF in our diocese.
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Discovering unknown treasures only a few steps away
By MARK KAzMIER A couple of weeks ago, I was cutting the grass and some little movement caught my attention. Way up, I mean WAY UP, were four Hawks, riding the thermals and just having fun. Turned the mower off, took off my “shades,” laid down in the grass, and watched them until They were out of sight. After enjoying my little ADD break, I restarted the mower and promptly ran over my sunglasses. There is a YING and a YANG to every thing. As long as I can remember, I could spot the smallest anomaly. A slight movement, a strait line on something that shouldn’t have one, and driving my friends NUTS with, “You guys see that ... look what I found. Naaaaa, it wont bite, at least I don’t think so.” The problem is, that it only works outside. Inside, I spend an inordinate amount of time looking for things I just put down.
Wandering out of state
I went to enjoy Thanksgiving at my sister’s house. While everyone else was watching football, I was wondering around, enjoying the last, 75-degree day, I was likely to see after returning to the ’Burgh. Nasty woods. Pine trees, kudzu, jaggres everywhere. I stumbled upon a clearing, bulldozed to make room for another subdivision. At least I could see the red clay, they consider dirt nasty. Then I spotted what I believed was a truffle. Lots of truffles. At like $500 bucks a pound, I had visions of the financial windfall that would surly come my way.
Embedded golf ball
Pittsburgh, and the surrounding area is most likely the best place to find fern fossils.
Wondering what is it?
As long as I remember, if there was a path, I was on it, literally and figuratively. Here in the ’Burgh, bar none, is the best place, to just wander. There are so many places, between neighborhoods, behind the shopping district, along any road, everywhere. There are ravines and streams that no one has walked in for years, little tracts of woods that in other states would be a national park.
Native American pipe
36 Pittsburgh Catholic Magazine
a stream and 50-foot outcroppings of rock, just there. Here’s an interesting one. Most of the time, I hike near or in a stream. The water and the land are in a constant state of flux. I always look in the roots of trees growing in the banks. They trap interesting things like golf balls, and are great homes for things that CRAWL.
Truffles
I hurried back to my sister’s house and got on the computer to do some research. Located the American Truffle Society and sent an e-mail and photos to “The Truffle Master.” He returned my e-mail and informed me that what I had found was indeed a truffle, and the first one ever found in the State of Georgia. Wow! But as is my lot in life, he also let me know that, that particular species, had no culinary value, except for as he put it “squirrel food.” My 15 minutes of fame remains unrealized. At least I hope. Just the other day, I was returning from the airport, Flaherty Run to Stoops Ferry Hill. I had some time, so I stopped at a pull off, across from a bar, one step into woods,
Fern fossil
They are impressions of leaves and trunks of long extinct seed ferns. They flourished in what was a primordial swamp around 300 million years ago. At the time, the ground we stand on was located three degrees below the equator. Due to continental drift, here we are. Heck, the Hawaiian Islands are only around 5 million years old. Kazmier, an engineer, lives in the North Hills of Pittsburgh.
Family Life 2012
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Family Life 2012
Pittsburgh Catholic Magazine 37
Amazing beauty of nature and the beauty in people By KATHRYN PIFER When asked what Camp “R” means to me, I reflect on 12 years of what I have experienced with a place and group of people I call my home and family. I began this camp adventure in the summer of 2001, a young 9-year-old who was eager to meet new people and for a week of fun and games. What I never expected back then was how deeply impacted I would be by the camp traditions, friendships and laughter all witnessed at Camp “R”. I am now a senior counselor and work with an amazing staff filled with people I have been friends with for half my life. A staff of friends who to date are my longest-held friendships, whom together we work to keep these traditions, laughter and friendships alive to give our campers the same experience we were given all those years ago. As a camper I learned the importance of independence and the power of lifelong friendships. Independence came with a week without
my Mom where I was in charge of cleaning my cabin, caring for homesick siblings, not relying on technology, but being able to interact face to face with my peers, or learning to engage and be present to others with a smile. As a counselor, I grew to realize that I am a role model and my actions were constantly admired and looked upon by my young campers. I am a leader. I am in charge of anywhere between 10-30 children a week enthusiastically participating and providing my dynamic campers what we promise, the best week of their life. For a few weeks out of the summer you get taken out of your comfort zone and meet amazing people. It’s a place where campers
NOW ENROLLING FOR 2012-2013 Saint Sebastian School is an educational and spiritual-growth experience for preschoolers though eighth grade. The school is centrally located in the North Hills and offers spirituality, scholarship and service. Learn more at schooloffice@saintsebastianparish.org
or by calling
412-364-7171 38 Pittsburgh Catholic Magazine
and staff alike are truly themselves and get to enjoy time breathing in fresh air, trying new things, engaging in activities, and meeting lifelong friends! No other camp compares to Camp “R” and not a day goes by where I do not wish I was working. Working as a counselor gives new meaning to that all so common phrase “if you do what you love you will never work a day in your life.” Through my volunteering and now counselor position at camp I knew I had a desire to work with young children. My senior year of high school I decided to take all these talents, skills, and lessons I learned from camp to the small orphanage of Nuevo Paraiso in Hondu-
ras. I have since traveled back six times where I work providing medical care to children and adults alike, teaching business lessons to young adults, and showing my love and doing the will of God through the simple hug or game of tag with a young child, who had never been shown love in their life. Camp also encouraged me to work with youth in the inner city of Cleveland where I serve as a mentor to a young sophomore with a strong promise for a chance at a college education. This coming year I will continue my love for children by working in Peru at a home for children with extreme disabilities. All these amazing opportunities to see the world and volunteer with children so deserving of our attention, I attribute 110 percent to my time spent at Camp “R”. I love showing love and happiness to children, showing them for one week that they are important, they are loved, and they deserve to simply play — be a kid in a world that has stripped childhood pleasures away from us. I also have an appreciation for the simplicity of life. The amazing beauty of nature and the beauty in people. Camp teaches me everyday how to use my gifts and talents to better the lives of those around me. I a m s o blessed to be called to a life of working with children. I am so blessed that I have been given the opportunity to work at Camp “R” each year, a place that embodies all that is me and taught me more about my strengths and friendships more than any other experience in my life. A camp where for a few months I can share my gifts and talents with others. Not a day passes where I don’t wish I was playing with campers or roasting marshmallows at this place that has been my second home, the place where I owe my life’s work to children, a place that has opened my heart for 12 years with more years to come. Pifer is a recipient of this year’s Catholic Youth Association “Youth of the Year Award” given at the organization’s annual Art Rooney Dinner.
Family Life 2012
Newspaper archive offers a history lesson By WILLIAM CONE The Pittsburgh Catholic newspaper, one of the first Catholic newspapers in the United States, published since 1844, can be a valuable source of information for people researching history, especially their family tree. Whenever someone contacts the newspaper and asks about inspecting old issues on microfilm, I direct them to the Gumberg Library at Duquesne University. The library has all of the old issues and is equipped to help them find what they are looking for. Since 2008, the Gumberg Library has provided an exciting Internet-based resource for scholars and history buffs to look at life in the past using the newspaper. Starting with the oldest issues of the Pittsburgh Catholic, the library is digitally archiving every page of the paper and making them available for download from the Internet. Papers from the first issue on March 16, 1844, through Dec. 27, 1923, can be downloaded as pdfs by going to this site: http://digital.library.duq.edu/ cdm-pc/. (You can find a link to this site at the top of our website, www.pittsburghcatholic.org.) You can
browse by date of each issue or search by typing in a keyword. Let’s say you’re seeking information about a long-lost uncle who you think was a Catholic priest a century ago. You can search for his name and the pages with his name will be “pulled” for you to read on your computer.
The digitization project began with the earliest issues of the newspaper, but it’s expected to eventually include current issues. The pace of the work depends
upon funding for the project. Tom White, university archivist and curator of special collections at Duquesne, said the process will preserve the microfilm copies, make the old newspapers more accessible and help safeguard the region’s Catholic history. The project is being funded through grants to the Gumberg Library. Donations are welcome and would help to speed up the process. Anyone wishing to contribute should contact library administration (412-396-6136) or the university archives (412-3964870) for details. As we have provided for years, Internet users can access our more recent archive of stories from 2000 to the present. Just go to our home page and look for “Search The Archives” on the left. Type in a keyword to do a search. Just remember that we don’t archive all stories, and our website is updated by staff members on Mondays. We appreciate the work being done by Duquesne to provide this archive. May it serve as a valuable tool for students and historians now and into the future. Cone is editor of the Pittsburgh Catholic.
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Family Life 2012