The Bearded Gospel Diet

How to Eat for Beard Greatness

You can brush and oil and stare at it all you want, but true beardliness starts from the inside. Here’s how you can eat your way to a better beard:

BOOST TESTOSTERONE

You can promote beard growth by boosting your testosterone. Don’t get crazy with this, because superamped testosterone can elevate your risk of a heart attack. For creation-care purposes I’m recommending you generally avoid meat (beef especially), but there are plenty of other ways to get protein:

TOFU Scared? Don’t be. Get the extra-firm organic stuff, slice it thin, and braise it with buffalo or barbecue sauce.

BEANS AND LENTILS Any kind. There are hundreds. I love black beans and chickpeas and red lentils. SALMON Delicious and nutritious. Get it linecaught from Alaska. Failing that, shoot for the Pacific over the Atlantic. Fresh beats frozen. To keep those good fats from getting damaged, try it slow-baked or poached.

EGGS Hair is composed mainly of keratin, a protein made from amino acids. We can’t make our own aminos, so we need protein. Get free-range organic eggs, and cook them ever so lightly in order to keep that fatty yolk undamaged. Try soft boiled, barely over easy, or my favorite, poached with lox and avocado.

IN ADDITION TO PROTEIN

SUPPLEMENTS Don’t have time to create a totally balanced diet? Grab a high- performance multivitamin and add B12, biotin, and fish oil.

PUMPKIN SEEDS Hair loss is often linked to low zinc levels, and these delicious green snacks are full of zinc. Get ’em raw and organic.

CINNAMON Killer antifungal/viral/oxidant that improves circulation to follicles. Add to desserts or stir into oatmeal or coffee.

ORANGE STUFF Vitamin A maintains skin tissue. You need vitamin A. Beta-carotene converts to vitamin A in your body. You need beta-carotene. You get it from orange stuff like pumpkins, carrots, papayas, and sweet potatoes. Cheez Whiz doesn’t count. / JARED BROCK is the author of Bearded Gospel Men and A Year of Living Prayerfully.

BROCCOLI The ultimate green. Buy it organic, steam it gently, and squeeze a lemon on top.

SPINACH Think Popeye, but with a beard. Buy the organic stuff and add it to everything—scrambled eggs, smoothies, sandwiches, soups and stews, burgers. When we’re home, I make a greens pie about once a week.

Don’t like veggies? You can also lift weights to boost testosterone. But you really should do what your mama told ya and eat your greens. Real men listen to their mamas.

/ JARED BROCK is the author of Bearded Gospel Men and A Year of Living Prayerfully.