John Reader

Being confined to a singular space for a full year, I was made aware of how much “stuff” surrounded my environment. At the time I’d been watching videos on Marie Kondo and her methodology of organisation (in terms of sparking joy).

I became interested in this idea, of the relevance and usefulness an object had to me and my personal life, and what choosing to let go of these objects would result in (even if it was just a tidier space).

A Children’s Paint Set (used)

Date Of Documentation: 01/03/2021 Date Of Receiving: December 2020 Date Of Release: 01/03/2021

A Children’s Paint Set bought off of Amazon.com (now used). The paint set wasn’t ever intended to be used for a traditional canvas. My boyfriend wanted to create a paint splattered outfit paying homage to one of his favourite drag queens. The paint set was useless in creating vivid enough splats (we resorted to watercolour paints) but it stayed around long enough that it became a fixture in the flat. One of the paint spots (?) went missing but I’m not sure when or how. Until now neither of us attributed it enough importance to warrant dealing with it despite the important space it was taking up. I finally found a use for it in the Easter camp I’m working at this april. I wonder what other ‘useless’ things clinging to my present will come to light? How many of them could have been dealt with sooner?

A Set of Joycons (With Slight Drift)

Date Of Documentation: 15/03/2021

Date Of Receiving: Date Of Release: 2017 01/04/2021

A set of Joycons (with slight drift). The first big purchase I ever made with money earnt from my first job. Part of a games console (still in use) these controllers were a part of one of my first financially independent experiences and some of my earlier next gen gaming ones. The console came with a copy of The Legend Of Zelda: Breath Of The Wild (single- handedly the best instalment in the series and in the genre of open world games I will die on this hill) that took up the majority of August. The purchase came right before I moved out of my parent’s for university so despite being broken (the blue joystick was stuck constantly pushing left) they were a positive reminder of the first transition to being an ‘adult’. Sadly I’ve yet to transition to the financially savvy aspect of adulthood, though if I’m being honest I’m not sure I ever will since my next big purchase was an immediate replacement for these instead of food for that week.

A Keyboard Kit (Never Played)

Date Of Documentation: Date Of Receiving: Date Of Release: 26/04/2021 22/12/2020 01/05/2021

A Keyboard Kit and accompanying books (never played). An early Christmas gift from my mum. It had been the first time I’d seen her in person since the original lockdown in march. Despite how happy the meeting was, I was saddened that we couldn’t have any direct physical contact outside of an elbow touch (she works in a warehouse and couldn’t risk it). I hadn’t felt such a strong need for a hug since waking up from a nightmare when I was 5. It really reinforced how starved of physical touch and connection from my community this pandemic had made me. The Keyboard Kit was a useless gift (my mums words, though i don’t disagree with them) due to the lack of weighted keys: when learning piano and having the choice between weightless or weighted keys you should always go for the weighted keys since that will be the most common feature of any piano you play. The keyboard still needs to be returned but suffice to say when I told my boyfriend that he looked at me as if I was insane for rejecting such a luxury gift. I felt a bit guilty; even if my mum agreed with me, at how un-Christmas my feelings were, but I’m still glad I got to have a conversation with my mum that wasn’t over a phone.

A “With Love” Candle (scented)

Date Of Documentation: Date Of Receiving: Date Of Release: 02/04/2021 14/02/2020 02/04/2021

A “With Love” scented candle, well used. A gift from my boyfriend’s mum for our Valentines. A year in lockdown together had left little of the ‘spark’ that valentines would normally bring. We didn’t do anything special for the day really but survived. Some nights we’d snuggle on the couch and watch the candlelight flicker. The wicks burnt and faded now after over a full year of use (and of living together with him) but I still remember the moments of peace the candle brought us, with love.

A Box Of Antidepressants (empty)

Date Of Documentation: Date Of Receiving: Date Of Release: 14/03/2021 18/12/2018 14/03/2021

An empty box of antidepressants: 100mg Sertraline. There’s enough in one box to last 2 weeks. Taking them has become a daily part of my routine for the past 3 years - wake up, pour a glass of Orange juice (or Irn Bru if i’m out), push out two pills and swallow. It’s the same mouth they fall into, but not the same person. When I started the course I was in the worst place my life had ever been, I was mentally and emotionally distraught. Now I’m stable and more secure with what my life is; but the empty boxes are always a reminder of what was, and still could happen if I forgot to do my routine.

A Pair Of Blue Jeans (too small)

Date Of Documentation: 05/03/2021

Date Of Receiving: Date Of Release: 2013 05/03/2021

A Pair of Blue Jeans (waist 34, length 31). When I first got these Jeans they were too big and uncomfy. I hated (and still do) the way they constricted my legs and scratched my skin but they were my only pair at the time so I had to wear them for events where I was expected to look nice. I can barely zip them up now and can’t even button them. I had never cared much about my looks until I realised I couldn’t button these Jeans up. There’s a certain sense of grief that comes with this change in weight but I wonder if it’s because of how my body feels when moving or how I’ve been told to feel about getting fat. The next pair of Jeans I get will be comfier and I’ll be kinder to myself.

A DIY Rabbit Toy (stuffed with uncooked rice)

Date Of Documentation: Date Of Receiving: Date Of Release: 30/04/2021 09/04/2021 14/04/2021

A Rabbit made from a sock, rubber bands, pom poms and rice. This was the first arts and crafts I made at the Easter day camp I worked at. It’s a simple creation but trying to achieve it with 12 7-9 year olds made it a lot harder than it had to be. It felt weird being in a physically close environment while having to maintain a strict social distance. Legally children don’t have to wear masks and the different groups we were in were split across the camp regarding guidelines but it still felt illegal, like there was some grave taboo or rule we were breaking by having several people in one space. Every morning the news had a new update on COVID cases worldwide and I had a new activity planned for the kids.

A Black Douche (Never used)

Date Of Documentation: Date Of Receiving: Date Of Release: 27/04/2021 2019 20/04/2021

A Black Douche (Never Used). As part of a hygienic practice from a medical standpoint the Douche is used to clean out the Vagina and Anus in order to ensure a healthy functioning body. From my standpoint its a tool I need to use as a precursor to sex (at least when I’m bottoming). I ordered this off of Amazon right before we went into lockdown expecting a semi-frequent use out of it considering all the free-time we were going to have. Turns out living through a pandemic can be a real mood killer for anything pushing remotely past PG 13 romantic hand holding.

A Foldable Paper Art cutout (Artist unknown)

Date Of Documentation: Date Of Receiving: Date Of Release: 25/04/2021 10/04/2021 30/04/2021

A foldable paper art cutout (artist unknown). A simple, artistic pattern made from a single sheet of paper during one of the free-times we had at Camp. I feel bad since it was a gift but I cannot for the life of me remember which child gave it to me. In my defence this was also the same day that we learnt one of the kids in another cabin, who had come in with a hearty cough, came from an anti-vax household that refused to have them tested at camp and supposedly tested them at home instead. With a full week and no testing for any of the staff it was a bit of a stressful time. There’s never been many times when I’ve felt how expendable as a worker you can be, but this definitely counts as one of the more recent reminders that if it’ll save a bottom line then any business will do it.

A Plate of Salt-Dough (Hardened)

Date Of Documentation: Date Of Receiving: Date Of Release: 25/04/2021 13/04/2021 30/04/2021

A plate of Salt-Dough (hardened). A very messy activity we did at camp (which I thankfully did not have to clean up after). It was by far the most hated activity for the kids which really surprised me. Out of everything that we did I thought the one activity where they got to be intentionally messy and creative but it was the one where I had to pull the most teeth just to get them engaged. This ended up in my possession after one of them announced that their parents would not in fact allow this in their home right before they left. I thought it would be a fun chance to play and create something but as soon as I got home I had no motivation to play with it, and gained a better understanding of why the kids weren’t all too enthused to play with a wet, sticky mass of dough.

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