What my twin girls taught Erika Eliasson-Norris about individuality

From a young age, we are taught to ‘be yourself’ but in the business world, this can be difficult. ERIKA ELIASSON-NORRIS, CEO of Beyond Governance, always thought she had to fit in to be successful, but after having twin girls, they taught her a valuable lesson about individuality

What my twin girls taught me about individuality

Being a single mum to identical twin girls and running my own business is like juggling balls, with new ones being thrown in and taken out all the time; you just have to try not to drop the ‘glass ones’.

Balancing home and work life doesn’t get easier as they grow, it just changes. My daughters are now eight years old and, just like raising children, when you’re running your own business, it sometimes feels as if you have it all together.

BECOMING A MUM

I became a first-time mum with the birth of my daughters and, at the time was an employee working in a large corporate. Like so many women, sadly I experienced various challenges returning to the workplace on terms acceptable to me.

As a result, I applied for new roles at the tail end of my maternity leave and returned to a brand-new part-time job. I had a whole host of new skills valuable to my employer but also a rather giant unwanted ‘monster’ of insecurities over my ability to fit in, bring value to my new company and balance the ‘mum guilt’ I often felt when returning to work. I know now this was ridiculous as the skills honed from being a mum added another dimension to me. TWINS AND INDIVIDUALITY

Every day my daughters teach me about the importance of celebrating individuality beyond the surface. On having them I’ve had to hone many skills which I now use at work and at home. For instance, it’s a careful path to tread celebrating successes with twin girls; you need to balance sensitivity and the realities of life that not everyone is good at everything and sometimes you’re not in the limelight. These skills of diplomacy, compassion and honest feedback are vital to an employer and a must for all management roles.

In my business, I now have deeper conversations with my team. I seek to understand what makes each employee happy

Not being a twin myself, I’ll never fully appreciate their special bond nor the challenges of being mistaken for your sister on a regular basis, particularly at school. Being a singleton though gives me the skills to support them in celebrating their individuality. No one should feel like they are being tarred with the same brush, whatever their background. Th is is so important in business when we’re recruiting team members; we shouldn’t be looking for a carbon copy replacement for the person who left. CLEAR COMMUNICATION I have learnt clearer, simpler communication too; I always have an eight yearold witness to my home conversations willing to give constructive feedback to me that I was ‘unclear in my delivery’. Simple, clear communication is vital in day-to-day working life but particularly important when appraising employees; we should ensure we’re clear in setting expectations and, however much we think we’re great at communication, there’s always more to learn.

In my business, I now have deeper conversations with my team. I seek to understand what makes each employee happy, and what drives them and I never make assumptions about what life is like walking in their shoes. Assuming two children of the same age and gender will react in the same way to the same stimuli has gotten me in trouble so many times. Communication is the key to good sustainable relationships in and out of work. We shouldn’t assume people know us well even if we spend a lot of time with our colleagues; they will have lived a diff erent life and had diff erent experiences. As a parent, you learn to anticipate your child’s tantrums but there is a long period of

Every day my time when you just don’t know what daughters teach me you’re doing. Babies and toddlers cannot tell you about the importance of celebrating how they feel other than through tears and you spend many hours watching and observing in the early years, honindividuality beyond the surface ing these skills to catch the breakdown before it occurs – and yet we still get it wrong sometimes. Time must be taken to get to know work colleagues too. Before having children, I thought I valued diff erent skills equally but becoming a twin mum has put this to the test and I realise now how unrefi ned my skills used to be. Learning how to explain to an identical twin why there is a disparity in how accomplished they are in diff erent areas compared to their sister is something that must be delivered with kindness but also complete honesty. Additionally celebrating success uncovers a new challenge when both have tried their best, but one has been recognised with a certifi cate, a shout or a school merit mark.

BEING A MUM AND A CEO

Being a mum is one of the most diffi cult and rewarding jobs. Th e skills I have honed include extrovert tendencies; talking to new people (networking), being more explicit in my communication and problem-solving with two humans, and only one pair of hands set me up perfectly for my business venture.

I started my corporate governance consultancy, advisory and training business Beyond Governance in 2019. We advise, train and consult with boards, directors, executive management and investors on how best to ensure their organisations are sustainable, effi cient and eff ective now and will remain so in the future. I owe so much to my daughters for teaching me so much about myself but also for teaching me how to value every aspect of a person far beyond skin deep.

www.beyondgovernance.com