BUILDING CHILDREN’S RESILIENCE WITH THE SEVEN CS

CONNECTION – the close connections with family, friends, school and communities give children a sense of security. Th is emotional safety net allows children to express their feelings and work out solutions to their problems. Secure children are more likely to have strong values and are less likely to seek out alternative destructive behaviours.

• Express your love for your children.

• Allow your children to express their emotions to you.

• Let your children make mistakes, and the opportunity to make corrections.

• Avoid the urge to over-protect, they will feel you believe they can’t handle a situation.

• Encourage children to build and focus on their strengths.

• Acknowledge when they have handled a situation well. 2

CONFIDENCE – is the belief in one’s own abilities and is rooted in competence. Children gain confidence as they demonstrate their competence in real situations. Th rough supporting your children and helping them gain competence, children will believe and be more confident to cope with challenges.

• Encourage development of traits such as kindness, integrity, and persistence.

• Point out and help children recognise when something is done well.

• Avoid feelings of shame.

• Address conflict within the family, resolving the problems.

• Encourage close relationships with others. 4

CHARACTER – children with “character” enjoy a strong sense of self-worth and confidence. They are in touch with their values and are comfortable sticking to them. They can demonstrate a caring attitude towards others. They have a strong sense of right and wrong and are prepared to make wise choices and contribute to the world.

• Help your children understand how their behaviour affects other people.

• Encourage empathy and caring for others.

• Encourage your children to consider ‘right v wrong’ when making choices.

• Work with your children to express their values.

• Be a role model. Actions speak louder than words.

5

CONTRIBUTION – if children can experience personally contributing to the world, they can learn the powerful lesson that the world is a better place because they are in it. Hearing ‘thank you’ and appreciation when your child contributes, will increase their willingness to take actions and make choices that improve the world, thereby enhancing their own competence, character, and sense of connection.

• Stress the value of serving others and the concept of greater good.

• Communicate to children that people don’t have the same privileges they have.

• Teach the importance of considering others.

• Create opportunities for children to contribute.

7 CONTROL – when children’s decisions affect their lives, they learn that they have control. As they realise that their decisions lead to actions, they will make choices in a way to manage life’s challenges. If parents make all the decisions, children may believe things happen to them rather than because of their choices.

• Reward responsibility with increased freedom.

• Discipline is essential but don't use it as punishment.

• Help children understand that events happen due to action.

• Focus on one step at a time.

Kenneth R. Ginsburg, MD, MS Ed, FAAP, is a professor of paediatrics in the Division of Adolescent Medicine at The Children's Hospital of Philadelphia and the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine.

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COPING – children who have a wide repertoire of coping skills (social skills, stress reduction skills) are able to cope more effectively and are better prepared to overcome life’s challenges. The ability to learn how to cope can prepare them to overcome life’s challenges better. A wide repertoire of positive, adaptive coping mechanisms can also help kids steer clear of dangerous quick fi xes for stress.

• Create a safe environment where listening, talking and sharing are safe and comfortable.

• Learn positive coping strategies and model these to your children.

• Assist children in understanding the difference between real life crises, and one in the moment.

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