Why divorce rate is on the increase -Inveatigation

By Femi Oyelola

Marriage is a special event and when two people decide to get married, they do so with the intention of staying together forever ‘till death do us part.’

The couples are expected to start the journey of their lives together with joy and hope for a better future. However, today in many homes that joy is short lived as some marriages end as soon as they are contracted.

Findings have shown that the rate of divorce in Kaduna state has increased in recent times with many having to question what the problem is. Kaduna appears to one of the states with high rate of divorced in the country.

Speaking to our reporter on the ugly Development, Pharm. Aisha Isyaku Tukur the Kaduna State Amira of Federation of Muslim Women Association of Nigeria (FOMWAN) blamed the high rate of divorce on the lack of understanding and forgiveness.

According to her, “marriage is an Ibadah [devotion] in Islam and people should see it as such. Unfortunately, people who go into marriages do not always understand what it is all about.

Many young couples today marry without knowing what marriage is. They think it is about posting flamboyant marriage proposals, wedding pictures and all sorts on social media. But those are an outward show of love, not from the heart and, just a few months into the marriage, they start having a crisis.”

Tukur said the Kaduna State chapter of FOMWAN was setting up a marriage counselling centre for people planning to get married

The centre would be located at the FOMWAN model School Ungwan Sarki in the Kaduna North Local Government Area

Similarly, Pastor Yohanna Buru of the Evangelical Intercessory Fellowship Ministry Kaduna blamed the trend on lack of tolerance and impatience. He expressed worries about the increase in divorce cases among couples in the society.

According to him, marriages took place weekly across the state ”but such marriages hardly last for months due to lack of tolerance, impatience, lack of love and lack of care”.

He stressed the need for couples to always love and tolerate each other.

“Tolerance and love are the ways to solve problems even in the larger society,’’ Buru said.

He said that the high rate of divorce was responsible for preponderance of single parenthood in the country with its attendant consequences.

“Children from separated families usually find themselves in difficult situations as the education of such a child most times is affected and proper upbringing may be difficult,’’ he said.

He, therefore, called on couples to sustain their marriage through understanding and love.

Giving reasons for increased numbers of collapse of marriages, Barrister Hauwa Umar opined that lack of commitment, too much arguing, infidelity, marrying too young, unrealistic expectations, lack of equality in the relationship, lack of preparation for marriage, and abuse are common reasons people give for their separation after coming together as husband and wife.

Worried by the scenario, Gov. Nasiru El-Rufai of Kaduna State recently said the state government is working on a family law that will set ground rules for marriage and tame the high rate of divorce in the state.

He observed that people now live in a society where people marry at will, divorce at will without regards to the injunctions of both Islam and Christianity.

“The victims of this careless attitude to family life are the children, who suffer the most.

“So, we are working on legislation that will put a cost to divorce, that will put a cost, particularly in men who send-off their women with the children and not taking care of the children.”

He added that the law would provide for the establishment of the Family Court Investigation shows that married couples besieged the courts in Kaduna on daily basis to seek divorce. A court official who will not want his name in print say the number of cases before the court is an indication that the matrimonial bond is fast diminishing and the society should wake up to check this menace.

Back in the days, divorce was hardly brought to the public space. It was then perceived and tagged as a taboo and not good for public discourse.

Sadly, with the advent of alien culture, the reverse is now becoming the trend as many marriages are steadily crashing like a pack of cards.

A Divorcee Aina Moses said she decided to call it quits with her former husband because of his drinking habits and lack of care for her and her son.

Aina said she is enjoying her life as a single parent because there is no man to disturb her life.

However Alhaji Ibrahim Aliyu said he trained his wife in Nursing

School and they were having a blissful marriage when he was served a divorce notice.

According to him, all efforts to make peace with his wife had hit the rocks as she is bent on returning the bride price to him.

According to our responsents, the marriage vow is spiritual so couples should endeavour to keep it. They, also noted that every home has its challenges, but keeping the marriage vows should be encouraged and not divorce.

Some of the problems bedeviling the state today cannot be separated from the high rates of divorce in the state, so all stakeholders must rise up to their games to restore sanity in the marriage institution in order to reduce the embarrassing divorce rates, according to them.