POETICS: Volume I

POETICS: POETICS: POETICS:

the east side of my body

how mother burns the milk and calls it ghee

οιαστροναύτες

sail the things i found (in a week, unwound)

the east side of my the east side of my body body

kkaja aja kaja

my body is a landscape of thoughts my body is a landscape of thoughts

my body is a landscape of thoughts reaching out to you reaching out to you reaching out to you

my feelings align in my fingertips

my feelings align in my fingertips my feelings align in my fingertips to find your touch to find your touch to find your touch

my body is where the day comes up my body is where the day comes up my body is where the day comes up bathed in golden light bathed in golden light bathed in golden light

iii am mountains and valleys of am mountains and valleys of am mountains and valleys of softness and an open rib cage softness and an open rib cage softness and an open rib cage

love as free as a bird love as free as a bird love as free as a bird

feeding on fields of birth marks and feeding on fields of birth marks and

feeding on fields of birth marks and

forget-me-not coloured bruises

forget-me-not coloured bruises forget-me-not coloured bruises

curves and ankles and rosy cheeks curves and ankles and rosy cheeks curves and ankles and rosy cheeks

hills of bones that remember earth quakes

hills of bones remember earth quakes

hills of bones that remember earth quakes and the silence after and the silence after and the silence after

iii am a planet that revolves around the sun am a planet that revolves around the sun am a planet revolves around the sun but leans towards you in the morning but leans towards you in the morning but leans towards you in the morning

is yearning universal, or is it just a is yearning universal, or is it just a is yearning universal, or is it just a secret club for girls who used to dream of being secret club for girls who used to dream of being secret club for girls who used to dream of being princesses? in truth, i hate the word: to yearn. princesses? in truth, i hate the word: to yearn princesses? in truth, i hate the word: to yearn. it feels too much like a poem sickly soft: it feels too much like a poem. sickly soft: it feels too much like a poem. sickly soft: like a heavy metal mix missing bass. like a heavy metal mix missing bass. like a heavy metal mix missing bass

i want to sing a chord i want to slit my voice box i want to sing a chord. i want to slit my voice box i want to sing a chord. i want to slit my voice box into triads so that three tones tumble from my mouth into triads so that three tones tumble from my mouth into triads so that three tones tumble from my mouth and not one; bunch my knuckles at my vocal chords and not one; bunch my knuckles at my vocal chords and not one; bunch my knuckles at my vocal chords and strike it like a guitar water phoenix rising and strike it like a guitar. water phoenix rising and strike it like a guitar water phoenix rising from the waves to be, again from the waves to be, again from the waves to be, again

iiin this renaissance, can resonance n this renaissance, can resonance n this renaissance, can resonance refract like rays cast against a crystal pool? i want to sing refract like rays cast against a crystal pool? i want to sing refract like rays cast against a crystal pool? i want to sing a quartet with my reflection; fold my yearning into a quartet with my reflection; fold my yearning into a quartet with my reflection; fold my yearning into a glowing paper lantern; release into a a glowing paper lantern; release into a a glowing paper lantern; release into a technicolor sea. technicolor sea technicolor sea.

lllift a scissor-blade to my lips ift a scissor-blade to my lips ift a scissor-blade to my lips and snip upon the ridges of my folded tongue. and snip upon the ridges of my folded tongue and snip upon the ridges of my folded tongue. i spit out the symmetrical spares, saliva and scarlet i spit out the symmetrical spares, saliva and scarlet i spit out the symmetrical spares, saliva and scarlet marbling at my feet. i open my mouth, marbling at my feet. i open my mouth, marbling at my feet i open my mouth, a tissue snowflake. cobwebbed red. a tissue snowflake cobwebbed red a tissue snowflake. cobwebbed red.

give me the ability to articulate give me the ability to articulate give me the ability to articulate my wistfulness underneath a CGI sky. in my throat, my wistfulness underneath a CGI sky in my throat, my wistfulness underneath a CGI sky. in my throat, an unfinished cadence a V7 suspended, an unfinished cadence. a V7 suspended, an unfinished cadence a V7 suspended, waiting for the root chord to strike. waiting for the root chord to strike waiting for the root chord to strike

perfect fourths contain perfect fourths contain perfect fourths contain .. so much want. so much want so much want.

beautiful boy beautiful boy

sofía aguilar sofía aguilar sofía aguilar

you didn’t love me as a woman ought to be loved. but instead from a distance, beautiful you didn’t love me as a woman ought to be loved. but instead from a distance, beautiful you didn’t love me as a woman ought to be loved but instead from a distance, beautiful boy, from 1,978 miles away, the same distance between ourselves now and how it would boy, from 1,978 miles away, the same distance between ourselves now and how it would boy, from 1,978 miles away, the same distance between ourselves now and how it would feel even if we spotted each other from opposite sides of a street. of course, i never feel even if we spotted each other from opposite sides of a street. of course, i never feel even if we spotted each other from opposite sides of a street of course, i never confessed to you (did i?) that like a child keeping secrets beneath the bed with a lock, i confessed to you (did i?) that like a child keeping secrets beneath the bed with a lock, i confessed to you (did i?) that like a child keeping secrets beneath the bed with a lock, i liked you as lovers do and repeated your name aloud to the wind as though it were my liked you as lovers do and repeated your name aloud to the wind as though it were my liked you as lovers do and repeated your name aloud to the wind as though it were my own as though it shared my spanish, my wisdom, my sanctity, the name my father gave own. as though it shared my spanish, my wisdom, my sanctity, the name my father gave own as though it shared my spanish, my wisdom, my sanctity, the name my father gave me, gifted from a dream when i was just a seed. as though we were something worth me, gifted from a dream when i was just a seed as though we were something worth me, gifted from a dream when i was just a seed. as though we were something worth saving. as though we had we ever stood in the same room even once, been connected by saving. as though we had we ever stood in the same room even once, been connected by saving as though we had we ever stood in the same room even once, been connected by more than just a screen and the colors, the light that made up your face, its brownness, more than just a screen and the colors, the light that made up your face, its brownness, more than just a screen and the colors, the light that made up your face, its brownness, its softness, it’s never-quite-sure-what-to-say. maybe you knew, how it was something i its softness, it’s never-quite-sure-what-to-say. maybe you knew, how it was something i its softness, it’s never-quite-sure-what-to-say maybe you knew, how it was something i always wanted to tell you but never did, had already tasted, already feared our always wanted tell you but never did, had already tasted, already feared our always wanted to tell you but never did, had already tasted, already feared our iimpermanence. impermanence mpermanence.

you didn’t teach me how to use my hands. you who mocked their smallness, the tininess you didn’t teach me how to use my hands you who mocked their smallness, the tininess you didn’t teach me how use my hands. you who mocked their smallness, the tininess of me, my insufficiency, my body that could’ve been swallowed by the whole of you and i of me, my insufficiency, my body that could’ve been swallowed by the whole of you and i of me, my insufficiency, my body that could’ve been swallowed by the whole of you and i had not yet learned to make separate our opinions i longed too much for that smile of had not yet learned to make separate our opinions. i longed too much for that smile of had not yet learned to make separate our opinions. i longed too much for that smile of yours, the one that freed your left dimple from its hiding place and the white of your shirt yours, the one that freed your left dimple from its hiding place and the white of your shirt yours, the one that freed your left dimple from its hiding place and the white of your shirt that pressed itself, your shoulder blades and your lips that bit themselves every time you that pressed itself, your blades and your lips that bit themselves every time you that pressed itself, your shoulder blades and your lips that bit themselves every time you turned. i wished too badly to be made not just of me but also of you, to be held when i turned i wished too badly to be made not just of me but also of you, to be held when i turned. i wished too badly to be made not just of me but also of you, be held when i pretended to bruise from something you’d said, to be loved like mexican pink, like the pretended to bruise from something you’d said, be loved like mexican pink, like the pretended to bruise from something you’d said, to be loved like mexican pink, like the color of the taxis on the border’s other side and spanish whispered en la noche after color of the taxis on the border’s other side and spanish whispered en la noche after color of the taxis on the border’s other side and spanish whispered en la noche after nine. to be touched in the language my tongue still thinks a stranger and yours was lovers nine. to be touched in the language my tongue still thinks a stranger and yours was lovers nine to be touched in the language my tongue still thinks a stranger and yours was lovers with mi vida, mi abejita, te quiero tanto, i wanted you to swear on your life and make with mi vida, mi abejita, te quiero tanto, i wanted you to swear on your life and make with mi vida, mi abejita, te quiero tanto, i wanted you to swear on your life and make sinful sound like sacredness, like holiness and spring. like dandelion heads blooming right sinful sound like sacredness, like holiness and spring. like dandelion heads blooming right

sinful sound like sacredness, like holiness and spring like dandelion heads blooming right here, right under my feet here, right under my feet. here, right under my feet.

yet your skin didn’t meet mine in all the places i wanted us to touch you didn’t find my yet your skin didn’t meet mine in all the places i wanted us to touch. you didn’t find my yet your skin didn’t meet mine in all the places i wanted us to touch you didn’t find my scent of peaches in your hair hours after i left or look at my nose as though it were scent of peaches in your hair hours after i left or look at my nose as though it were scent of peaches in your hair hours after i left or at my nose as though it were discovery or turn my body into home. but slept apart every night and never took shape in discovery or turn my body into home. but slept apart every night and never took shape in discovery or turn my body into home but slept apart every night and never took shape in your bed or mine as one body, one entity, one land made of two after centuries of your bed or mine as one body, one entity, one land made of two after centuries of your bed or mine as one body, one entity, one land made of two after centuries of conquest and struggle and blood shed in rivers and many mountains between, unified conquest and struggle and blood shed in rivers and many mountains between, unified conquest and struggle and blood shed in rivers and many mountains between, unified finally between sheets, in the warmth of our bones instead you didn’t say my name the finally between sheets, in the warmth of our bones. instead you didn’t say my name the finally between sheets, in the warmth of our bones. instead you didn’t say my name the way it was supposed to be said. instead you called me beautiful but replaced my name way it was supposed to be said instead you called me beautiful but replaced my name way it was supposed to be said. instead you called me beautiful but replaced my name with hers you longed to lose yourself in my skin but mistook her body as mine, you heard with hers. you longed to lose yourself in my skin but mistook her body as mine, you heard with hers you longed to lose yourself in my skin but mistook her body as mine, you heard my laughter as gospel but fed yourself with her fruit, you spun stories of our future and my laughter as gospel but fed yourself with her fruit, you spun stories of our future and my laughter as gospel but fed yourself with her fruit, you spun stories of our future and learned again how to lie. with words so bitter, so familiar, over ripened in the bowl from learned again how to lie. with words so bitter, so familiar, over ripened in the bowl from learned again how to lie with words so bitter, so familiar, over ripened in the bowl from all the beautiful boys before i don’t need you anymore mi amor, such a thief, you took all the beautiful boys before i don’t need you anymore. mi amor, such a thief, you took all the beautiful boys before i don’t need you anymore. mi amor, such a thief, you took my everything and gave none of it back. and yet here’s me loving you, i who hear the my everything and gave none of it back and yet here’s me loving you, i who hear the my everything and gave none of it back. and yet here’s me loving you, i who hear the phone ring and hope that it’s you, who still wants to taste our last names combined, who phone ring and hope that it’s you, who still wants to taste our last names combined, who phone ring and hope that it’s you, who still wants to taste our last names combined, who wonders if i should forgive and shoulder the burden of blame. i who have never been the wonders if i should forgive and shoulder the burden of blame i who have never been the wonders if i should forgive and shoulder the burden of blame. i who have never been the kind of beautiful you double-take in the streets, i who you didn’t watch walk back home kind of beautiful you double-take in the streets, i who you didn’t watch walk back home kind of beautiful you double-take in the streets, i who you didn’t watch walk back home in the dark, i who you didn’t look at as though i wasn’t looking at you in the dark, i who you didn’t look at as though i wasn’t looking at you in the dark, i who you didn’t look at as though i wasn’t looking at you

i who am enough will be and always have been for me, for more than just the two of us i who am enough. will be and always have been for me, for more than just the two of us. i who am enough. will be and always have been for me, for more than just the two of us. my life a quiet place. a one-woman house cleansed of you like exorcism, like my abuela’s my life a quiet place a one-woman house cleansed of you like exorcism, like my abuela’s my life a quiet place. a one-woman house cleansed of you like exorcism, like my abuela’s floors every sunday with a mop and soap that smells of pine i a woman who cannot be floors every sunday with a mop and soap that smells of pine. i a woman who cannot be floors every sunday with a mop and soap that smells of pine. i a woman who cannot be trapped in vases made for wilting things, dying things, too small for wild, climbing, trapped in vases made for wilting things, dying things, too small for wild, climbing, trapped in vases made for wilting things, dying things, too small for wild, climbing, blooming things. who cannot be hidden away like petals dried in books, between their blooming things. who cannot be hidden away like petals dried in books, between their blooming things who cannot be hidden away like petals dried in books, between their pages, their cracking-open spines sitting pretty on a shelf. i who must enter the room like pages, their cracking-open spines sitting pretty on a shelf i who must enter the room like pages, their cracking-open spines sitting pretty on a shelf. i who must enter the room like a shout, like a promise said aloud, like sunflowers grown too tall, too late to cut down a shout, like a promise said aloud, like sunflowers grown too tall, too late to cut down a shout, like a promise said aloud, like sunflowers grown too tall, too late to cut down and bury in the grass perhaps, beautiful boy, you could’ve swallowed me, taken me, and bury in the grass. perhaps, beautiful boy, you could’ve swallowed me, taken me, and bury in the grass. perhaps, beautiful boy, you could’ve swallowed me, taken me, loved me a little less imperfectly. but i must warn you to be careful con tus manos, be loved me a little less imperfectly but i must warn you to be careful con tus manos, be loved me a little less imperfectly. but i must warn you to be careful con tus manos, be gentle with the roots and the earth where you step, for even her sainthood can still prick gentle with the roots and the earth where you step, for even her sainthood can still prick gentle with the roots and the earth where you step, for even her sainthood can still prick with her thorns. with her thorns with her thorns.

yellow sound that yellow sound

poem for my best friend poem for my best friend poem for my best friend

a tinted voice, laced with sun, a tinted voice, laced with sun, a tinted voice, laced with sun, always shining, endless thinking; always shining, endless thinking; always shining, endless thinking; sparing time in feelings won sparing time in feelings won sparing time in feelings won across a span across a span across a span of one decade, of one decade, of one decade, of memories shared and pictures made of memories shared and pictures made of memories shared and pictures made with boldly handmade happiness, with boldly handmade happiness, with boldly handmade happiness, in security against all craziness. in security against all craziness in security against all craziness.

when troubles mount, when troubles mount, when troubles mount, with every hardship to surmount, with every hardship to surmount, with every hardship to surmount, that voice is there, that yellow sound: that voice is there, that yellow sound: that voice is there, that yellow sound: your words i have to bring me, your words i have to bring me, your words i have to bring me, unwound from unwound from unwound from the tightened angst, the tightened angst, the tightened angst, the mass unease, the mass unease, the mass unease, of walking forward, of building paths i have yet to lead of walking forward, of building paths i have yet to lead of walking forward, of building paths i have yet to lead in to the trials of far unknown, in to the trials of far unknown, in to the trials of far unknown, of seeing where my dreams are blown. of seeing where my dreams are blown of seeing where my dreams are blown

your voice is there, your voice is there, that

as wind changes so, too, ideas, as wind changes so, too, ideas, as wind changes so, too, ideas, imaginings, what-might-have-beens: imaginings, what-might-have-beens: imaginings, what-might-have-beens: the tricky matter of hoping seems the tricky matter of hoping seems the tricky matter of hoping seems to be a fickle venture, or maybe just a small mistake, to be a fickle venture, or maybe just a small mistake, to be a fickle venture, or maybe just a small mistake, but who can say how deep the waters in every lake, but who can say how deep the waters in every lake, but who can say how deep the waters in every lake, lest we test the depths, and dive headlong? lest we test the depths, and dive headlong? lest we test the depths, and dive headlong?

to thrash and strike, to see how strong to thrash and strike, to see how strong to thrash and strike, to see how strong we may be is the test of any valued mystery; we may be is the test any valued mystery; we may be is the test of any valued mystery; of any stroller heading north, of any stroller heading north, of any stroller heading north, finding if, yes, it could be worth finding if, yes, it could be worth finding if, yes, it could be worth having left at all having left at all. having left at all

because “what if” is what most enthrals because “what if” is what most enthrals because “what if” is what most enthrals those who sit and hold at bay those who sit and hold at bay those who sit and hold at bay the angry yearning to seize the day. the angry yearning to seize the day the angry yearning to seize the day. but then, of course, one only pray but then, of course, one only pray but then, of course, one only pray where that tricky query, that striking wonder, where that tricky query, that striking wonder, where that tricky query, that striking wonder, will ever lead, should they never see land a-yonder will ever lead, should they never see land a-yonder will ever lead, should they never see land a-yonder and merely, simply, neglect to heed and merely, simply, neglect to heed and merely, simply, neglect to heed the beckon-call of what they believe the beckon-call of what they believe the beckon-call of what they believe will be the answer o ’erhanging the cliff will be the answer o ’erhanging the cliff will be the answer o ’erhanging the cliff of that question, what if what if what if of that question, what if what if what if. of that question, what if what if what if.

a guiding voice, a sounding-board, a guiding voice, a sounding-board, a guiding voice, a sounding-board, a standing laughter, a hand toward a standing laughter, a hand toward a standing laughter, a hand toward the memories i have and hold the memories i have and hold the memories i have and hold of home of home of home

i’m relocated with just a phone i’m relocated with just a phone. i’m relocated with just a phone it has, within arm ’ s reach, it has, within arm ’ s reach, it has, within arm ’ s reach, a bright oasis, a bright oasis, a bright oasis, a verbal beach a verbal beach. a verbal beach

that smile of yours i absorb, that smile of yours i absorb, that smile of yours i absorb, through osmosis, through osmosis, through osmosis, through our shared words and the simple time through our shared words and the simple time through our shared words and the simple time that disappears in telephonic bliss, that disappears in telephonic bliss, that disappears in telephonic bliss, it’s you, i think, which most i miss. it’s you, i think, which most i miss. it’s you, i think, which most i miss

knotted hair knotted hair

when i am in my creative space when i am in my creative space when i am in my creative space my hair is horribly my hair is horribly my hair is horribly

ttangled tangled angled a thick knot below my cerebrum a thick knot below my cerebrum a thick knot below my cerebrum product of neglect product neglect product of neglect

tapered split ends

tapered split ends tapered split ends strands that crave the brush of a comb strands that crave the brush of a comb strands that crave the brush of a comb like a babe craves the sweetness of her mother’s milk like a babe craves the sweetness of her mother’s milk like a babe craves the sweetness of her mother’s milk sticks to my face sticks to my face sticks to my face electric electric electric misshapen, unkempt misshapen, unkempt misshapen, unkempt braided by the wind braided by the wind braided by the wind unbrushed for a week unbrushed for a week unbrushed for a week as my mind buzzes as my mind buzzes as my mind buzzes with perplexing ideas. with perplexing ideas with perplexing ideas.

tangled mop-like hair tangled mop-like hair tangled mop-like hair protects my cranium from protects cranium from protects my cranium from external disturbance external disturbance. external disturbance. a comb would set my process back to normal. a comb would set my process back to normal. a comb would set my process back to normal for creatives, normal is square one. for creatives, normal is square one for creatives, normal is square one. no, no, no,

tangled, matted hair

tangled, matted hair

tangled, matted hair

crisp clothes on a monday morning

crisp clothes on a monday morning

crisp clothes on a monday morning by a steaming cup of coffee by a steaming cup of coffee by a steaming cup of coffee

shuddering melodies

shuddering melodies

shuddering melodies

trembling lullabies trembling lullabies trembling lullabies are our normal are our normal. are our normal creative state of mind creative state of mind creative state of mind

riya m. cyriac riya m. cyriac riya m. cyriac

setting summer setting summer sun against the sun against the mountains mountains

rachel brooke rachel brooke rachel brooke

“the mountains are calling and i must go. . . ” -john muir

“the mountains are calling and i must go ” -john muir

“the mountains are calling and i must go. . . ” -john muir

the summer sun was half-set and there was a backdrop of the mountains / the summer sun was half-set and there was a backdrop of the mountains / the summer sun was half-set and there was a backdrop of the mountains / colorado summers weren’t kind and we each had sweat above our brow / it was colorado summers weren’t kind and we each had sweat above our brow / it was colorado summers weren’t kind and we each had sweat above our brow / it was one of those days frenzied, drunk-on-life days, life in constant motion days, barely one of those days. frenzied, drunk-on-life days, life in constant motion days, barely one of those days frenzied, drunk-on-life days, life in constant motion days, barely catching your breath days / he’s tan from that same setting summer sun, brown catching your breath days / he’s tan from that same setting summer sun, brown catching your breath days / he’s tan from that same setting summer sun, brown tousled hair / it curls gently into my hand / he didn’t grow up in the mountains / tousled hair / it curls gently into my hand / he didn’t grow up in the mountains / tousled hair / it curls gently into my hand / he didn’t grow up in the mountains / they beckoned me, he said / he drinks coffee in the morning and i drink tea / they beckoned me, he said / he drinks coffee in the morning and i drink tea / they beckoned me, he said / he drinks coffee in the morning and i drink tea / sometimes we dance to jack johnson in the kitchen / “bubble toes” he says is the sometimes we dance to jack johnson in the kitchen / “bubble toes” he says is the sometimes we dance to jack johnson in the kitchen / “bubble toes” he says is the song of his soul / but we dance and we laugh and we answer when the mountain song of soul / but we dance and we laugh and we answer when the mountain song of his soul / but we dance and we laugh and we answer when the mountain crooks its finger towards us / he likes to chew mint / i once asked him if was crooks its finger towards us / he likes to chew mint / i once asked him if was crooks its finger towards us / he likes to chew mint / i once asked him if was because he’s a hipster / was gum too basic? he laughed big / it was because he because he’s a hipster / was gum too basic? he laughed big / it was because he because he’s a hipster / was gum too basic? he laughed big / it was because he liked the leaves / which sounded like a stupid answer to me, but i didn’t say so / liked the leaves / which sounded like a stupid answer to me, but i didn’t say so / liked the leaves / which sounded like a stupid answer to me, but i didn’t say so / instead, i told him I liked the way he spoke / all honeyed words that were gentle instead, i told him I liked the way he spoke / all honeyed words that were gentle instead, i told him I liked the way he spoke / all honeyed words that were gentle gentle gentle and kind / like dipping me in a slow song at a dance at a lake / like gentle gentle and kind / like dipping me in a slow song at a dance at a lake / like

gentle gentle and kind / like dipping me in a slow song at a dance at a lake / like a midnight wish on a star kept to himself / he spoke like a setting summer sun

a midnight wish on a star kept to himself / he spoke like a setting summer sun against the mountains against the mountains against the mountains

a midnight wish on a star kept to himself / he spoke like a setting summer sun

symphony for a new symphony for a new world world

high above the fire escapes of the city, high above the fire escapes of the city, high above the fire escapes of the city, smoke swirls into snow, smoke swirls into snow, smoke swirls into snow, debasing / effacing debasing / effacing debasing / effacing memories of cigarettes, memories of cigarettes, memories of cigarettes, raisin regrets, raisin regrets, raisin regrets, & little italy nights long gone. & little italy nights long gone. & little italy nights long gone

ask & i’ll tell you ask & i’ll tell you ask & i’ll tell you a good girl’s rhythm is kept in a good girl’s rhythm is kept in a good girl’s rhythm is kept in trains & taverns and drinks taken far too strong trains & taverns and drinks taken far too strong trains & taverns and drinks taken far too strong a smooth brunswick jazz the way we get along a smooth brunswick jazz the way we get along. a smooth brunswick jazz the way we get along.

and after downing all those sours downstreet, and after downing all those sours downstreet, and after downing all those sours downstreet, i can’t help but feel bittersweet, i can’t help but feel bittersweet, i can’t help but feel bittersweet, i don’t belong / i never did i don’t belong / i never did i don’t belong / i never did

whiteness whiteness whiteness either lack of it either of it either lack of it or sheer expanse of it in wintertime or sheer expanse of it in wintertime or sheer expanse of it in wintertime is our undoing is our undoing is our undoing as we walk bridges and burn them, as we walk bridges and burn them, as we walk bridges and burn them, as we read poems and as we read poems and as we read poems and swallow port by starlight swallow port by starlight swallow port by starlight on the rooftops of the bronx. on the rooftops of the bronx on the rooftops of the bronx.

desire is sometimes the glacier desire is sometimes the glacier desire is sometimes the glacier that can sink a ship of dreams that can sink a ship of dreams that can sink a ship of dreams the politics of wanting can turn titanic the politics of wanting can turn titanic the politics of wanting can turn titanic can upend across the aisle attraction can upend across the aisle attraction can upend across the aisle attraction transforming it into a frigid moral wasteland. transforming it into a frigid moral wasteland. transforming it into a frigid moral wasteland

all the ways to lead a life all the ways to lead a life all the ways to lead a life collide and divide collide and divide collide and divide slash a red line through the tie that binds slash a red line through the tie that slash a red line through the tie that binds until the notes of a symphony for a new world until the notes of a symphony for a new world until the notes of a symphony for a new world play on play on. play on

sanjana rajagopal sanjana rajagopal sanjana rajagopal

san isidro san isidro

you sit and watch the sky you sit and watch the sky you sit and watch the sky the grackles flutter in their packs and as the the grackles flutter in their packs and as the the grackles flutter in their packs and as the ease of an evening smoke soothes you ease of an evening smoke soothes you ease of an evening smoke soothes you

you imagine that you are that lone bird you imagine that you are that lone bird you imagine that you are that lone bird who circles above who circles above who circles above watching this sleepy street watching this sleepy street watching this sleepy street

you wondered what your little body would feel like you wondered what your little body would feel like you wondered what your little body would feel like until it was you gliding on summer winds until it was you gliding on summer winds until it was you gliding on summer winds

tamara al-qaisi-coleman

tamara al-qaisi-coleman

tamara al-qaisi-coleman

the rickety window gives way to a hidden slat in the roof the rickety window gives way to a hidden slat in the roof the rickety window gives way to a hidden slat in the roof you can levy off of the oak tree up the up, and up you can levy off of the oak tree up the up, and up you can levy off of the oak tree up the up, and up

quarantine brought excavators and cranes quarantine brought excavators and cranes quarantine brought excavators and cranes to the town’s pristine cul-de-sacs to the town’s pristine cul-de-sacs to the town’s pristine cul-de-sacs you and the grackles float over the newly mounded dirt you and the grackles float over the newly mounded dirt you and the grackles float over the newly mounded dirt in search of the dead armadillo in search of the dead armadillo in search of the dead armadillo

you follow the curve of the bayou you follow the curve of the bayou you follow the curve of the bayou suddenly, oyster creek gives way to a graveyard suddenly, oyster creek gives way to a graveyard suddenly, oyster creek gives way to a graveyard there’s a woman there with flowers there’s a woman there with flowers there’s a woman there with flowers

you remember her you remember her you remember her something familiar about something familiar about something familiar about her shaking hands her shaking hands her shaking hands

you ’ ve been here before you ’ ve been here before you ’ ve been here before except the houses that lined the block weren’t here except the houses that lined the block weren’t here except the houses that lined the block weren’t here instead the fields were lined with pecan trees instead the fields were lined with pecan trees instead the fields were lined with pecan trees cramped metal shacks cramped metal shacks cramped metal shacks

the people who lived here piled together the people who lived here piled together the people who lived here piled together you and your grackle friends would you and your grackle friends would you and your grackle friends would perch in the rusted holes and watch the flies buzz perch in the rusted holes and watch the flies buzz perch in the rusted holes and watch the flies buzz

it smelled like sweet things and the sweat it smelled like sweet things and the sweat it smelled like sweet things and the sweat of a texas summer of a texas summer of a texas summer

men yelled and there were sugar men yelled and there were sugar men yelled and there were sugar clouds that would roll in when the sun set clouds that would roll in when the sun set clouds that would roll in when the sun set

you watched men dig holes deep into the earth you watched men dig holes deep into the earth you watched men dig holes deep into the earth until their straw hats disappeared into the black until their straw hats disappeared into the black until their straw hats disappeared into the black dumping bodies of sugar-mill workers into these mass graves dumping bodies of sugar-mill workers into these mass graves dumping bodies of sugar-mill workers into these mass graves

you never liked human calls, they wailed like lost wolves you never liked human calls, they wailed like lost wolves you never liked human calls, they wailed like lost wolves as twilight lingered you swore you would never forget how as twilight lingered you swore you would never forget how as twilight lingered you swore you would never forget how clear a sunset is reflected in the puddled marshes circling bulls bayou clear a sunset is reflected in the puddled marshes circling bulls bayou clear a sunset is reflected in the puddled marshes circling bulls bayou

thick white clouds reflected pink in these pools thick white clouds reflected pink in these pools thick white clouds reflected pink in these pools like the world made of cotton candy like the world made of cotton candy like the world made of cotton candy you imagined as a child you imagined as a child you imagined as a child

the boy who lived in the house with the green door carved the boy who lived in the house with the green door carved the boy who lived in the house with the green door carved his name into the wet cement his name into the wet cement his name into the wet cement a year after the brazos spilled into public sidewalks a year after the brazos spilled into public sidewalks a year after the brazos spilled into public sidewalks and drowned malvina’s little boxes and drowned malvina’s little boxes and drowned malvina’s little boxes

the woman set her flowers down and kissed the gravestone the woman set her flowers down and kissed the gravestone the woman set her flowers down and kissed the gravestone her ring shines in the light, the same one her father wore her ring shines in the light, the same one her father wore her ring shines in the light, the same one her father wore as you lunge for the gleaming object you remember as you lunge for the gleaming object you remember as you lunge for the gleaming object you remember

unnamed unnamed unnamed

the girl with the ball of tin foil

the girl with the ball of tin foil

the girl with the ball of tin foil

she would run across the open field, before they put in the stones she would run across the open field, before they put in the stones she would run across the open field, before they put in the stones taunting you with her ball of light taunting you with her ball of light taunting you with her ball of light when the bodies of her loved ones were unmarked when the bodies of her loved ones were unmarked when the bodies of her loved ones were unmarked

you settle into the dirt and pick at the white speck of leftover sugar-wind you settle into the dirt and pick at the white speck of leftover sugar-wind you settle into the dirt and pick at the white speck of leftover sugar-wind wondering why even in death they cannot escape wondering why even in death they cannot escape wondering why even in death they cannot escape

iimperial imperial mperial prison prison prison

drowned in white drowned in white drowned in white the funeral director was buried among the masses the funeral director was buried among the masses the funeral director was buried among the masses the land is said to be blessed by saints the land is said to be blessed by saints the land is said to be blessed by saints

isidro the patron saint of farmers isidro the patron saint of farmers isidro the patron saint of farmers

how mother burns how mother burns the milk and calls it the milk and calls it ghee ghee

mother doesn’t eat ice cream mother doesn’t eat ice cream mother doesn’t eat ice cream calls it a manifestation calls it a manifestation calls it a manifestation of of of mannat mannat mannat,,, which is unfulfilled which is unfulfilled which is unfulfilled grateful though grateful though grateful though for she has surely forgotten the taste for she has surely forgotten the taste for she has surely forgotten the taste of how sugar of how sugar of how sugar runs down the throat runs down the throat runs down the throat after a temperance after a temperance after a temperance of piquancy of piquancy of piquancy

mother removes the idols mother removes the idols mother removes the idols once a year once a year once a year she bathes them she bathes them she bathes them in milk in milk in milk

and i feel jealous and i feel jealous and i feel jealous

i ask her if this task is related to i ask her if this task is related to i ask her if this task is related to jjupiter jupiter upiter and she says, ” and she says, ” and she says, ”this is a remedy this is a remedy this is a remedy of all maladies ever of all maladies ever of all maladies ever”””

the stove crackles the stove crackles the stove crackles

fire spits out in the sky fire spits out in the sky fire spits out in the sky

the clouds father evidence the clouds father evidence the clouds father evidence in form of rain in form of rain in form of rain

the milk boils the milk boils the milk boils mother, tired mother, tired mother, tired dozes off dozes off dozes off

dreaming of dreaming of dreaming of malai malai malai

shalini singh shalini singh shalini singh

song of gods song of gods

pam knapp pam knapp pam knapp

when night and day were born, the heavens sang with the happiness of gods these twins were when night and day were born, the heavens sang with the happiness of gods. these twins were when night and day were born, heavens sang with the happiness of gods. these twins were the most perfect creation and, as they grew, the gods gave them all. but these restless creatures the most perfect creation and, as they grew, the gods gave them all but these restless creatures the most perfect creation and, as they grew, the gods gave them all. but these restless creatures could not be satisfied each grew jealous of the other day wanted the cool and dark of night; could not be satisfied. each grew jealous of the other. day wanted cool and dark of night; could not be satisfied each grew jealous of the other day wanted the cool and dark of night; night wanted the warmth and light of day. their discord angered the gods and brought turmoil to night wanted the warmth and light of day their discord angered the gods and brought turmoil to night wanted the warmth and light of day. their discord angered the gods and brought turmoil to the heavens although precious, their twins would be cast out from the heavens to fend for the heavens. although precious, their twins would cast out from the heavens to fend for the heavens although precious, their twins would be cast out from the heavens to fend for themselves in the great abyss beyond. themselves in the great abyss beyond themselves in the great abyss beyond.

the gods wept with sorrow, as both night and day fled the heavens gladly no longer would they the gods wept with sorrow, as both night and day fled the heavens gladly. no longer would they the gods wept with sorrow, as both night and day fled the heavens gladly. no longer would they feel the burden of the other’s virtues. they were free to abide in the emptiness as they pleased. feel the burden of the other’s virtues they were free to abide in the emptiness as they pleased feel the burden of the other’s virtues. they were free to abide in the emptiness as they pleased. day, in her radiance, spilt her golden splendour across the universe, sending showers of light that her radiance, spilt her golden splendour across the universe, sending showers of light day, in her radiance, spilt her golden splendour across the universe, sending showers of light that spun in great spirals of white, bringing unspeakable beauty into the void. she learned to create spun in great spirals of white, bringing unspeakable beauty into the void she learned to create spun in great spirals of white, bringing beauty into the void. she learned to create shadows and told herself that now she could be day and night night too, revelled in her new shadows and told herself that now she could be day and night. night too, revelled in her new shadows and told herself that now she could be day and night night too, revelled in her new liberty she poured her black velvet into the chasm, softening its edges and soothing the schisms liberty she poured her black velvet into the chasm, softening its edges and soothing the schisms liberty. she poured her black velvet into the chasm, softening its edges and soothing the schisms of the breach. she learned how to speckle her dark cape with sparks and told herself she was of the breach she learned how to speckle her dark cape with sparks and told herself she was of the breach she learned how to speckle her dark cape with sparks and told herself she was both night and day night and day. both night and day.

each travelled on through the wilderness of space, filling it with their richness, but they were each travelled on through the wilderness of space, filling it with their richness, but they were each travelled on through the wilderness of space, filling it with their richness, but they were alone and shared their glory with no one but themselves. their journey felt as desolate as the void alone and shared their glory with no one but themselves their journey felt as desolate as the void alone and their glory with no one but themselves. their journey felt as desolate as the void through which they roamed neither day nor night could truly see what surrounded them, they through which they roamed. neither day nor night could truly see what surrounded them, they through which they roamed neither day nor night could truly see what surrounded them, they travelled blindly, knowing only their last step how sorry they were that they had parted from one travelled blindly, knowing only their last step how sorry they were that they had parted from one travelled blindly, knowing only their last step. how sorry they were that they had parted from one another, how they felt only half of what they once were. another, how they felt only half of what they once were another, how they felt only half of what they once were

day crossed the path of a huge rock, rounded and swathed in silence. she wrapped herself about day crossed the path of a huge rock, rounded and swathed in silence she wrapped herself about day crossed the path of a huge rock, rounded and swathed in silence. she wrapped herself about it, gently embracing it with her warmth bathed in her light, this new companion revealed it, gently embracing it with her warmth. bathed in her light, this new companion revealed it, gently embracing it with her warmth bathed in her light, this new companion revealed grandeur of mountain peaks and still depths of waters. day flooded the rock’s cold surface with grandeur of mountain peaks and still depths of waters day flooded the rock’s cold surface with grandeur of mountain peaks and depths of waters. day flooded the rock’s cold surface with beams that set the world alive It grew busy with life In her light, this world brimmed with vigour beams that the world alive. It grew busy with life. In her light, this world brimmed with vigour. beams that set the world alive It grew busy with life In her light, this world brimmed with vigour day loved this world like a lost sister day watched with pride what its love had spawned until she day loved this world like a lost sister day watched with pride what its love had spawned until she day loved world like a lost sister. day watched with pride what its love had spawned until she saw verdancy bloom but then wither, water sparkle but then disappear, creatures thrive but then saw verdancy bloom but then wither, water sparkle but then disappear, creatures thrive but then saw verdancy bloom but then wither, water sparkle but then disappear, creatures thrive but then starve How could her love have done this? the more love day gave, the more shrivelled and starve. How her love have done this? the more love day gave, more shrivelled and starve How could her love have done this? the more love day gave, the more shrivelled and baked the world became. baked the world became baked the world became.

night, miserable with the weight of solitude, hung in the aimlessness of space. across the night, miserable with the weight of solitude, hung in the aimlessness of space across the night, miserable with the weight of solitude, hung in the aimlessness of space. across the vastness, she heard day’s cries night’s heart once more knew light and reached across the vastness, she heard day’s cries. night’s heart once more knew light and reached across vastness, she heard day’s cries night’s heart once more knew light and reached across the expanse to her sister night saw the parched jewel and felt anguish blister it in day’s arms night expanse to her sister night saw the parched jewel and felt anguish blister it in day’s arms night expanse to her sister. night saw the parched jewel and felt anguish blister it day’s arms. night calmed her sister’s torment and cooled the treasure she held. calmed her sister’s torment and cooled the treasure she held calmed her sister’s torment and cooled the treasure she held

together they cared for the fragile rock while the heavens sang again with the happiness of together they cared for the fragile rock while the heavens sang again with the happiness of together they cared for the fragile rock while heavens sang again with the happiness of gods gods. gods

all along all along

zoe elisabeth zoe elisabeth zoe elisabeth

it’s okay that you were seventeen once, that you creased the edges it’s okay that you were seventeen once, that you creased the edges it’s okay that you were seventeen once, that you creased the edges of your hometown between your fingers every night. now you miss of your hometown between your fingers every night now you miss of your hometown between your fingers every night. now you miss those periwinkle skies and the drives to the town’s border, those periwinkle skies and the drives to the town’s border, those periwinkle skies and the drives to the town’s border, where you sat numb in the passenger ’ s seat, injecting false hope where you sat numb in the passenger ’ s seat, injecting false hope where you sat numb in the passenger ’ s seat, injecting false hope deep into your veins. back then, the future was a gravel road deep into your veins back then, the future was a gravel road deep into your veins. back then, the future was a gravel road and a goodbye shouted out the window, your suitcase in the trunk, and a goodbye shouted out the window, your suitcase in the trunk, and a goodbye shouted out the window, your suitcase in the trunk, filled with poetry. you swore you were more than the girl filled with poetry. you swore you were more than the girl filled with poetry you swore you were more than the girl in the corner desk, twirling her hair while everybody raged around her. in the corner desk, twirling her hair while everybody raged around her in the corner desk, twirling her hair while everybody raged around her. your earbuds screamed louder than the music they played at the parties your earbuds screamed louder than the music they played at the parties your earbuds screamed louder than the music they played at the parties you weren’t invited to, and you had lyrics carved to the underside you weren’t invited to, and you had lyrics carved to the underside you weren’t invited to, and you had lyrics carved to the underside of your skin, bass lines pounding in your brain the high school hallways of your skin, bass lines pounding in your brain the high school hallways of your skin, bass lines pounding in your brain. the high school hallways wrapped around your throat, but at night, you shrugged off the cold wrapped around your throat, but at night, you shrugged off the cold wrapped around your throat, but at night, you shrugged off the cold and dreamed of a penthouse apartment where you would write love songs and dreamed of a penthouse apartment where you would write love songs and dreamed of a penthouse apartment where you would write love songs and mean every word you would stand on a shimmering stage, and mean every word. you would on a shimmering stage, and mean every word. you would stand on a shimmering stage, strumming the same guitar you cradled on those dreary teenage nights, strumming the same guitar you cradled on those dreary teenage nights, strumming the same guitar cradled on those dreary teenage nights, and they would see what you had been all along. and they would see what you had been all along and they would see what you had been all along.

it’s okay if they were right about you. the slow footsteps, how your eyes

it’s okay if they were right about you. the slow footsteps, how your eyes

it’s okay if they were right about you the slow footsteps, how your eyes grazed the floor. you were born to be forgotten, a whisper buzzing grazed the floor you were born to be forgotten, a whisper buzzing grazed the floor. you were born to be forgotten, a whisper buzzing under bright lights you can still drive to the edge of town under bright lights. you can still drive to the edge of town under bright lights. you can still drive to the edge of town and sob, hunched over in the streetlight glow, watching a new batch and sob, hunched over in the streetlight glow, watching a new batch and sob, hunched over in the streetlight glow, watching a new batch of teenagers walk home. it’s okay if they look like children of teenagers walk home it’s okay if they look like children of teenagers walk home. it’s okay if they look like children and you make a habit of screaming at the sky it’s okay if your face and you make a habit of screaming at the sky. it’s okay if your face and you make a habit of screaming at the sky. it’s okay if your face never changes shape even as your hair dims to grey. you’ll go home never changes shape even as your hair dims to grey. you’ll go home never changes shape even as your hair dims to grey you’ll go home on the same route you always took, falling asleep on a mattress on the same route you always took, falling asleep on a mattress on the same route you always took, falling asleep on a mattress that knows the shape of your body, and you’ll be what you have been that knows the shape of your body, and you’ll be what you have been that knows the shape of your body, and you’ll be what you have been all along. all along all along.

deadly companion deadly companion

o o often my mind and i discuss you ften my mind and i discuss you. ften my mind and i discuss you. How time would be endless if you didn’t exist, How time would be endless if you didn’t exist, How time would be endless if you didn’t exist, how I would be different if you did not stealthily enter how I would be different if you did not stealthily enter how I would be different if you did not stealthily enter through the backdoor of my hustled thoughts through the backdoor of my hustled thoughts through the backdoor of my hustled thoughts and hide behind the curtains of my flaws. and hide behind the curtains of my flaws. and hide behind the curtains of my flaws or if you had not totally burnt through or if you had not totally burnt through or if you had not totally burnt through all my other traits and remained like the sole all my other traits and remained like the sole all my other traits and remained like the sole firefly buzzing through a night sky firefly buzzing through a night sky firefly buzzing through a night sky of dark thoughts of dark thoughts of dark thoughts.

c c concentrating on your being when i am in oncentrating on your being when i am in oncentrating on your being when i am in solitude and when i am solitude and when i am solitude and when i am amidst the clobbering clownish crowds, amidst the clobbering clownish crowds, amidst the clobbering clownish crowds, i find that you alone are my philosopher, i find that you alone are my philosopher, i find that you alone are my philosopher, my friend, my enemy, my problem, my friend, my enemy, my problem, my friend, my enemy, my problem, my strength; my weakness; my strength; my weakness; my strength; my weakness; my sole constant companion. my sole constant companion my sole constant companion.

d d demolishing all bonds that bind me, emolishing all bonds that bind me, emolishing all bonds that bind me, creating invisible impermeable boundaries creating invisible impermeable boundaries creating invisible impermeable boundaries around me, i am caged around me, i am caged around me, i am caged - in here- - in here- - in herein this dark, endless infinite room with you; in this dark, endless infinite room with you; in this dark, endless infinite room with you; like a prisoner and a timid constantly like a prisoner and a timid constantly like a prisoner and a timid constantly dripping tap. dripping tap dripping tap.

shiksha dheda shiksha dheda shiksha dheda

a map of scars a map of scars

adeeba jafri adeeba jafri adeeba jafri

who has the right to carve their mark who has the right to carve their mark who has the right to carve their mark to seal their stamp or make a scar to their stamp or make a scar to seal their stamp or make a scar

to stake a claim, to hurt or steal to stake a claim, to hurt or steal to stake a claim, to hurt or steal a part you cannot touch or feel a part you cannot touch or feel a part you cannot touch or feel

the girl who promised she would stay the girl who promised she would stay the girl who promised she would stay when fourth grade came, she moved away when fourth grade came, she moved away when fourth grade came, she moved away

the boy whose fears she knew too well the boy whose fears she knew too well he left a scar too deep to tell he left a scar too deep to tell he left a scar too deep to tell

the boy whose fears she knew too well

the HS crush inside her phone the HS crush inside her phone the HS crush inside her phone left stranded in a friendship zone left stranded in a friendship zone left stranded in a friendship zone

the spouse who made it past her gate the spouse who made it past her gate the spouse who made it past her gate abusive in a drunken state abusive in a drunken state abusive in a drunken state

a child birthed through pain and tears

a child birthed through pain and tears

a child birthed through pain and tears left just as quick as he appeared left just as quick as he appeared left just as quick as he appeared

with every scar and every tear with every scar and every tear with every scar and every tear she worked to mend so she could bear she worked to mend so she could bear she worked to mend so she could bear

another person in her life another person in her life another person in her life permitted then to use their knife permitted then to use their knife permitted then to use their knife

to carve their name and scratch a line to carve their name and scratch a line to carve their name and scratch a line upon the map that sits inside upon the map that sits inside upon the map that sits inside

a patched up heart full of unrest

a patched up heart full of unrest

a patched up heart full of unrest that sits inside an open chest that sits inside an open chest that sits inside an open chest

lunar conversations lunar

#waning #waning #waning

i don’t think i’ve ever i don’t think i’ve ever i don’t think i’ve ever blinded a man before, blinded a man before, blinded a man before, really i’ve seen them really i’ve seen them really i’ve seen them deify the other girls. me, i just got deify the other girls. me, i just got deify the other girls me, i just got all the rumors. a frivolous slice all the rumors a frivolous slice all the rumors. a frivolous slice of myth & gossip i was always of myth & gossip. i was always of myth & gossip. i was always the tickbox, never the end goal. the tickbox, never the end goal. the tickbox, never the end goal

conversations with varying degrees with varying degrees of self-confidence of self-confidence sal kang sal kang sal kang

#newmoon #newmoon #newmoon

i don’t think i’ve ever left i don’t think i’ve ever i don’t think i’ve ever left anyone still in heat anyone still in heat anyone still in heat the morning after we touched. the morning after we touched the morning after we touched. my lover describes me my lover describes me my lover describes me as silver, as light & sheer &, as silver, as light & sheer &, as silver, as light & sheer &, according to murakami, according to murakami, according to murakami, i am a silent vacuum i am a silent vacuum i am a silent vacuum with no mouth. neither a pinhole with no mouth. neither a pinhole with no mouth neither a pinhole nobody nor the blinding nobody nor the blinding nobody nor the blinding life of the party i’ve always been life of the party. i’ve always been life of the party i’ve always been the conquerable, the the conquerable, the the conquerable, the duplicable, replaceable duplicable, replaceable duplicable, replaceable in your hands i’ve never in your hands. i’ve never in your hands i’ve never been the one to make things been the one to make things been the one to make things grow & last grow & last. grow & last.

#waxing #waxing #waxing

i have long since uprooted i have long since uprooted i have long since uprooted the flag he planted the flag he planted the flag he planted in my chest i am trying in my chest. i am trying in my chest. i am trying to see every footprint to see every footprint to see every footprint as a battle scar. i am as a battle scar i am as a battle scar. i am trying to evolve by loving trying to evolve by loving trying to evolve by loving all the cavities. all the cavities. all the cavities

#fullmoon #fullmoon #fullmoon

the earth is on fire & the earth is on fire & the earth is on fire & i no longer need the sun i no longer need the sun i no longer need the sun to fuck me back into shape. to fuck me back into shape to fuck me back into shape.

i am a godlessly answered i am a godlessly answered i am a godlessly answered prayer the host of every witching prayer. the host of every witching prayer the host of every witching hour. when i glow, i only do so hour when i glow, i only do so hour. when i glow, i only do so for myself for myself. for myself.

i wake into a sneeze, spew my hope onto the bedsheets. today, when i smile, my i wake into a sneeze, spew my hope onto the bedsheets today, when i smile, my i wake into a sneeze, spew my hope onto the bedsheets. today, when i smile, my teeth sit tight in my mouth i take actions that imply i am thankful for the day; teeth sit tight in my mouth. i take actions that imply i am thankful for the day; teeth sit tight in my mouth. i take actions that imply i am thankful for the day; twenty minutes on breakfast, a fresh outfit, the coffee table wiped clean. i ask my twenty minutes on breakfast, a fresh outfit, the coffee table wiped clean. i ask my twenty minutes on breakfast, a fresh outfit, the coffee table wiped clean i ask my untrusting heart to feel the things i say i do. there are only small moments among untrusting heart to feel the things i say i do there are only small moments among untrusting heart to feel the things i say i do. there are only small moments among all the moments that create my life in which i feel truly present i am often all the moments that create my life in which i feel truly present. i am often all the moments that create my life in which i feel truly present. i am often intangible, floating somewhere fifty feet behind myself, a performer peeking intangible, floating somewhere fifty feet behind myself, a performer peeking intangible, floating somewhere fifty feet behind myself, a performer peeking through the curtain as the orchestra plays. the night brings a present moment, a through the curtain as the orchestra plays the night brings a present moment, a through the curtain as the orchestra plays. the night brings a present moment, a burst of the self when i get home, i drop my coat and bags and roll over the burst the self. when i get home, i drop my coat and bags and roll over the burst of the self when i get home, i drop my coat and bags and roll over the couch into your kiss. us, you, me, in all the corporeal calluses, the kitchen tile couch into your kiss us, you, me, in all the corporeal calluses, the kitchen tile couch into your kiss. us, you, me, in all the corporeal calluses, the kitchen tile turned to late-night ballroom floor we drink in these moments of life with no turned to late-night ballroom floor we drink in these moments of life with no turned to late-night ballroom floor. we drink in these moments of life with no chaser, wipe our heartbeats on our sleeves chaser, wipe our heartbeats on our sleeves. chaser, wipe our heartbeats on our sleeves

in the morning’s in the morning’s first quaking breath first quaking breath

kara goughnour kara goughnour kara goughnour

light in a bottle light in a bottle

jowell tan jowell tan jowell tan

no one believed you when you said you saw grandpa last night, peeking his head no one believed when said you saw grandpa last night, peeking his head no one believed you when you said you saw grandpa last night, peeking his head out through the cupboard doors everyone thought that you found his firefly jar in out through the cupboard doors. everyone thought that you found his firefly jar in out through the cupboard doors. everyone thought that you found his firefly jar in the box that your mother left out at the end of the driveway for the trashman and the box that your mother left out at the end of the driveway for the trashman and the box that your mother left out at the end of the driveway for the trashman and filled it up with fireflies all by yourself. no one could imagine how you did it, but filled it up with fireflies all by yourself no one could imagine how you did it, but filled it up with fireflies all by yourself. no one could imagine how you did it, but no one wanted to believe the truth you heard daddy say to mommy in the kitchen no one wanted to believe the truth. you heard daddy say to mommy in the kitchen no one wanted to believe the truth. you heard daddy say to mommy in the kitchen just now, after they’d believed you asleep but you were really eavesdropping from just now, after they’d believed you asleep but you were really eavesdropping from just now, after they’d believed you asleep but you were really eavesdropping from the top of the stairs: pops is dead, margaret, and he didn’t give allie the jar of the top of the stairs: pops is dead, margaret, and he didn’t give allie the jar of the top of the stairs: pops is dead, margaret, and he didn’t give the jar of fireflies because dead people don’t just come back up to gather fireflies and stick fireflies because dead people don’t just come back up to gather fireflies and stick fireflies because dead people don’t just come back up to gather fireflies and stick them in a jar for their granddaughter to hold. but you know what daddy said isn’t them in a jar for their granddaughter to hold but you know what daddy said isn’t them in a jar for their granddaughter to hold. but you know what daddy said isn’t true, because you did see grandpa come out of the cupboard last night, and he true, because you did see grandpa come out of the cupboard last night, and he true, because you did see grandpa come out of the cupboard last night, and he did give you that jar of fireflies, the orange light from their butts shining onto his did give you that jar of fireflies, the orange light from their butts shining onto his did give you that jar of fireflies, the orange light from their butts shining onto his face, showing him real as the jar in front of him, and that hug he gave you felt so face, showing him real as the jar in front of him, and that hug he gave you felt so face, showing him real as the jar in front of him, and that hug he gave you felt so warm you just couldn’t believe he had died and been buried in the ground just warm you just couldn’t believe he had died and been buried in the ground. just warm you just couldn’t believe he had died and been buried in the ground. just before he left he gave you that toothy smile and that playful wink of his, and then before he left he gave you that toothy smile and that playful wink of his, and then before he left he gave you that toothy smile and that playful wink of his, and then he walked back through the cupboard and everything was dark again, save for the he walked back through the cupboard and everything was dark again, save for the he walked back through the cupboard and everything was dark again, save for the light from the moon coming through the window and the glow from the fireflies in light from the moon coming through the window and the glow from the fireflies in light from the moon coming through the window and the glow from the fireflies in the jar. the same glow that was lighting up the head of your bed as you stomped the jar. the same glow that was lighting up the head of your bed as you stomped the jar the same glow that was lighting up the head of your bed as you stomped back into your room, the same glow so bright you could see it from under the back into your room, the same glow so bright you could see it from under the back into your room, the same glow so bright you could see it from under the covers you’d thrown over your head, hiding your anger from view heck what daddy covers you’d thrown over your head, hiding your anger from view. heck what daddy covers you’d thrown over your head, hiding your anger from view. heck what daddy and mommy says, you thought, and heck what everyone else is saying too - and mommy says, you thought, and heck what everyone else is saying too - and mommy says, you thought, and heck what everyone else is saying toograndpa is alive somewhere, and he gave me this jar of fireflies to keep, and when grandpa is alive somewhere, and he gave me this jar of fireflies to keep, and when grandpa is alive somewhere, and he gave me this jar of fireflies to keep, and when he comes back from wherever he’s gone, he’ll have this jar of fireflies back with all he comes back from wherever he’s gone, he’ll have this jar of fireflies back with all he comes back from wherever he’s gone, he’ll have this jar of fireflies back with all the fireflies inside still alive. you can call me out on that! you fell asleep the fireflies inside still alive. you can call me out on that! you fell asleep the fireflies inside still alive you can call me out on that! you fell asleep remembering grandpa’s smile and wink and hug, bathed in the orange light of the remembering grandpa’s smile and wink and hug, bathed in the orange light of the remembering grandpa’s smile and wink and hug, bathed in the orange light of the fireflies buzzing about in the jar that he had given you last night, when he came fireflies buzzing about in the jar that he had given you last night, when he came fireflies buzzing about in the jar that he had given you last night, when he came up back and said hello to you through the cupboard doors. up back and said hello to you through the cupboard doors up back and said hello to you through the cupboard doors.

take me back to when growth was measured not by take me back to when growth was measured not by take me back to when growth was measured not by income, but by pencil etchings upon door frames. income, but by pencil etchings upon door frames income, but by pencil etchings upon door frames. to a time when the best kept diaries were those on the soles of to a time when the best kept diaries were those on the soles of to a time when the best kept diaries were those on the soles of my feet for only they knew where i’ve been and may one day be. my feet for only they knew where i’ve been and may one day be. my feet for only they knew where i’ve been and may one day be

take me back to when girls were fascinating take me back to when girls were fascinating take me back to when girls were fascinating and the idea of dating one was even more so. and the idea of dating one was even more so and the idea of dating one was even more so to a time when digestive organs turned into butterflies to a time when digestive organs turned into butterflies to a time when digestive organs turned into butterflies yet i myself still struggled to break out my own cocoon yet i myself still struggled to break out my own cocoon. yet i myself still struggled to break out my own cocoon

take me back to when the tops of desks served as sketch pads take me back to when the tops of desks served as pads take me back to when the tops of desks served as sketch pads and daydreams taught me more than any teacher ever could. and daydreams taught me more than any teacher ever could. and daydreams taught me more than any teacher ever could to a time when sheets of paper became origami love letters to a time when sheets of paper became origami love letters to a time when sheets of paper became origami love letters that showed me how complex but beautiful love can really be that showed me how complex but beautiful love can really be. that showed me how complex but beautiful love can really be.

take me back to when the birds and the bees were more take me back to when the birds and the bees were more take me back to when the birds and the bees were more than just animals which flew beyond classroom windows than just animals which flew beyond classroom windows. than just animals which flew beyond classroom windows. to when school buses were hell and the kids within were to when school buses were hell and the kids within were to when school buses were hell and the kids within were cold and separated as the TV dinner foods they dined upon. cold and separated as the TV dinner foods they dined upon cold and separated as the TV dinner foods they dined upon.

take me back to when mobile homes became castles and take me back to when mobile homes became castles and take me back to when mobile homes became castles and training wheels were the best support system after family. training wheels were the best support system after family training wheels were the best support system after family. to a time when this poem was but a collection of thoughts; to a time when this poem was but a collection of thoughts; to a time when this poem was but a collection of thoughts; knowing not of their worth to someone, somewhere, someday. knowing not of their worth to someone, somewhere, someday knowing not of their worth to someone, somewhere, someday.

sail sail

" weary of myself, and sick of asking " weary of myself, and sick of asking " weary of myself, and sick of asking what i am, and what i ought to be, what i am, and what i ought to be, what i am, and what i ought to be, at this vessel's prow i stand, which bears me at this vessel's prow i stand, which bears me at this vessel's prow i stand, which bears me forwards, forwards, o ' er the starlit sea. ” forwards, forwards, o ' er the starlit sea ” forwards, forwards, o ' er the starlit sea. ” matthew arnold matthew arnold matthew arnold ttthere is the slow rise and fall of my chest and the waves. here is the slow rise and fall of my chest and the waves here is the slow rise and fall of my chest and the waves.

iii know another day has begun. not because of the salty water licking my toes, tilting me know another day has begun not because of the salty water licking my toes, tilting me know another day has begun. not because of the salty water licking my toes, tilting me into consciousness, (such a way to wake would be a joy), but because of the relentless, into consciousness, (such a way to wake would be a joy), but because of the relentless, into consciousness, (such a way to wake would be a joy), but because of the relentless, grinding ache in my jaw a gift, from anxiety-induced clenching in the dark hours grinding ache in my jaw a gift, from anxiety-induced clenching in the dark hours grinding ache in my jaw. a gift, from anxiety-induced clenching in the dark hours.

a a as i sit there on that rock, a speck in the wild sea, i am too exhausted to even massage

s i sit there on that rock, a speck in the wild sea, i am too exhausted to even massage

s i sit there on that rock, a speck in the wild sea, i am too exhausted to even massage my face or stroke my calloused fingers, which tire of holding on to my rough refuge. my face or stroke my calloused fingers, which tire of holding on to my rough refuge my face or stroke my calloused fingers, which tire of holding on to my rough refuge.

jemima gosmore jemima gosmore jemima gosmore

i exist, that i am aware of, but only to observe, to dwell in my miseries i exist, that i am aware of, but only to observe, to dwell in my miseries. i exist, that i am aware of, but only to observe, to dwell in my miseries.

i do not swim, nor tread water i have found a rock, to which i cling; it is my equilibrium i do not swim, nor tread water. i have found a rock, which i cling; it is my equilibrium i do not swim, nor tread water i have found a rock, to which i cling; it is my equilibrium here in the tipped fog of the sea ’ s waves, who, in a dark, whispering duress, ask me to here in the tipped fog of the sea ’ s waves, who, in a dark, whispering duress, ask me to here in the tipped fog of the sea ’ s waves, who, in a dark, whispering duress, ask me to dive. dive. dive

iii lay that dusky morning in a recoiled haze. I am an Ophelia, a Mariana in a moated lay that dusky morning in a recoiled haze. I am an Ophelia, a Mariana in a moated lay that dusky morning in a recoiled haze I am an Ophelia, a Mariana in a moated grange grange. grange.

c c captured by oils and ink in a lethargic distress of murky waters, i am the immobilised aptured by oils and ink in a lethargic distress of murky waters, i am the immobilised aptured by oils and ink in a lethargic distress of murky waters, i am the immobilised subject of no-one ’ s story. subject of no-one ’ s story subject of no-one ’ s story.

a a at midday, the sky drops me a life jacket It sits there, on my rock, and asks me to slip into

t midday, the sky drops me a life jacket. It sits there, on my rock, and asks me to slip into

t midday, the sky drops me a life jacket. It sits there, on my rock, and asks me to slip into its orange buoyancy “to put me on is to float”, it whispers, kindly. but i find its words its orange buoyancy “to put me on is to float”, it whispers, kindly. but i find its words its orange buoyancy “to put me on is to float”, it whispers, kindly but i find its words taunting, as though it can see my flailing breaststroke, heavy pants, and tangled limbs taunting, as though it can see my flailing breaststroke, heavy pants, and tangled limbs. taunting, as though it can see my flailing breaststroke, heavy pants, and tangled limbs.

w w what good is staying afloat, if you have no direction, hat good is staying afloat, if you have no direction, hat good is staying afloat, if you have no direction, my mind jeers my mind jeers. my mind jeers

at sunset, a mobile phone is washed up, wrapped in silky algae. a shining present – it is at sunset, a mobile phone is washed up, wrapped in silky algae. a shining present – it is at sunset, a mobile phone is washed up, wrapped in silky algae a shining present – it is an opportunity for help though i finger its interface, I ignore the reception with a sigh an opportunity for help. though i finger its interface, I ignore the reception with a sigh. an opportunity for help. though i finger its interface, I ignore the reception with a sigh.

jjjust because i can call someone, does not mean they wish to answer it, ust because i can call someone, does not mean they wish to answer it, ust because i can call someone, does not mean they wish to answer it, the voice in my the voice in my the voice in my head sneers. head sneers head sneers.

i cannot swim to escape when i cannot see. where is my destination? what is my route? i cannot swim to escape when i cannot see where is my destination? what is my route? i cannot swim to escape when i cannot see. where is my destination? what is my route?

yhe grey, powerful eruptions of the tide are overwhelming the rock is safe, for now i yhe grey, powerful eruptions of the tide are overwhelming. the rock is safe, for now. i yhe grey, powerful eruptions of the tide are overwhelming. the rock is safe, for now. i understand it will not be here forever. understand it will not be here forever understand it will not be here forever but i am too tired, to imagine. but i am too tired, to imagine but i am too tired, to imagine.

drowning is frightful because it robs you of breath. but i wager that a swim, in swirling

drowning is frightful because it robs you of breath but i wager that a swim, in swirling

drowning is frightful because it robs you of breath. but i wager that a swim, in swirling waters, with no guaranteed destination nor route, takes a great deal of breath too. and waters, with no guaranteed destination nor route, takes a great deal of breath too. and waters, with no guaranteed destination nor route, takes a great deal of breath too and the waters below the waters below. the waters below.

they are so dark always they are so dark. always. they are so dark. always.

i cannot attempt it, not when my rock offers a short-term solution to plan is so i cannot attempt it, not when my rock offers a short-term solution. to plan is so i cannot attempt it, not when my rock offers a short-term solution to plan is so exhausting, in this place of goading monotony. exhausting, in this place of goading monotony exhausting, in this place of goading monotony.

it is evening. it is evening it is evening.

i look out, wide-eyed, as a lightning bolt cracks across the sky, momentarily lighting the i look out, wide-eyed, as a lightning bolt cracks across the sky, momentarily lighting the i look out, wide-eyed, as a lightning bolt cracks across the sky, momentarily lighting the murky waters beneath. i gasp, but excitement is short-lived. the light soon disappears – murky waters beneath. i gasp, but excitement is short-lived. the light soon disappears – murky waters beneath i gasp, but excitement is short-lived the light soon disappears –the path is black again, impossible for my exhausted mind. i want to wail. the path is black again, impossible for my exhausted mind i want to wail the path is black again, impossible for my exhausted mind. i want to wail.

where is my light? i will never swim without it. where is my light? i will never swim without it. where is my light? i will never swim without it

“please,” i beg, as a tear leaks out of my eye and the thunder rumbles, “where is

“please,” i beg, as a tear leaks out of my eye and the rumbles, “where is

“please,” i beg, as a tear leaks out of my eye and the thunder rumbles, “where is m m myyy llighthouse?” lighthouse?” ighthouse?”

a a a final, clanging crack in the sky signals a downpour and, like that, all evidence of my final, clanging crack in the sky signals a downpour. and, like that, all evidence of my final, clanging crack in the sky signals a downpour and, like that, all evidence of my difficulties a single tear and a lone plea - are submerged by the sound and substance difficulties a single tear and a lone plea - are submerged by the sound and substance difficulties a single tear and a lone plea - are submerged by the sound and substance of my frequent companion: rain. of my frequent companion: rain of my frequent companion: rain.

o, i sleep It is of poor quality, for this rock is uncomfortable, and cold

ssso, i sleep. It is of poor quality, for this rock is uncomfortable, and cold.

o, i sleep. It is of poor quality, for this rock is uncomfortable, and cold.

deep in dream, my senses speak to me, softly tapping my wrists to quicken my blood flow

deep in dream, my senses speak to me, softly tapping my wrists to quicken my blood flow.

writhing there on that rock.

writhing there on that rock

deep in dream, my senses speak to me, softly tapping my wrists to quicken my blood flow they whisper to me, of stories and tales. they tell me i do not need a lighthouse. i need they whisper to me, of stories and tales they tell me i do not need a lighthouse i need they whisper to me, of stories and tales. they tell me i do not need a lighthouse. i need not swim at that, i feel involuntary tears about to fall again “ p not swim. at that, i feel involuntary tears about fall again. “ p not swim. at that, i feel involuntary tears about to fall again. “ please, i do lease, i do lease, i do” i want to cry, ” i want to cry, ” i want to cry, writhing there on that rock.

i fall into self-deprecating, prickling thoughts i will never swim i fall into self-deprecating, prickling thoughts. i will never swim. i fall into self-deprecating, prickling thoughts. i will never swim.

“let us help you ” the night, the sea, and the wind, now whisper to me “ we will get you

“let us help you ” the night, the sea, and the wind, now whisper to me. “ we will get you

“let us help you ” the night, the sea, and the wind, now whisper to me. “ we will get you comfortable on your way ” comfortable on your way. ” comfortable on your way. ”

i open my heavy lids. i open my heavy lids i open my heavy lids.

this comprehension does not require my heavy body and mind to struggle; to swim; nor to this comprehension does not require my heavy body and mind to struggle; to swim; nor to this comprehension does not require my heavy body and mind to struggle; to swim; nor to dip my tired toes in the water. dip my tired toes in the water dip my tired toes in the water.

i see it in the distance, approaching. the rock’s substitute. i see it in the distance, approaching the rock’s substitute i see it in the distance, approaching. the rock’s substitute.

crafted with care, it is a refuge. crafted with care, it is a refuge. crafted with care, it is a refuge

it is a boat so, i cry with the sudden realisation it is a boat. so, i cry with the sudden realisation. it is a boat. so, i cry with the sudden realisation. that i can escape this rock another way, without plunging in the dark, deep end. that i can escape this rock another way, without plunging in the dark, deep end that i can escape this rock another way, without plunging in the dark, deep end.

“ yes, ” i whisper in my first, spoken affirmation, “there is always a way. t “ yes, ” i whisper in my first, spoken affirmation, “there is always a way to rest, is to move o rest, is to move o rest, is to move.. and my respite is coming.” and my respite is coming ” and my respite coming.”

“ yes, ” i whisper in my first, spoken affirmation, “there is always a way. t

i have unwound the week and found unfathomable riches i have unwound the week and found unfathomable riches i have unwound the week and found unfathomable riches side by side with chasms that i already knew existed. side by side with chasms that i already knew existed. side by side with chasms that i already knew existed i unwound the week and found anticipation, waiting i unwound the week and found anticipation, waiting i unwound the week and found anticipation, waiting coils of anxiety like mattress springs coils anxiety like mattress springs coils of anxiety like mattress springs supporting slabs of fabric supporting slabs of fabric supporting slabs of fabric made from every thread of self esteem i thought i'd lost. made from every thread of self esteem i thought i'd lost made from every thread of self esteem i thought i'd lost. yes, i have unwound the week yes, i have unwound the week yes, i have unwound the week and found rivers holding flowing forms of friendship and found rivers holding flowing forms of friendship and found rivers holding flowing forms of friendship between stacks of granite romance between stacks of granite romance between stacks of granite romance and the pure, perfect sadness of a climax felt alone. and the pure, perfect sadness of a climax felt alone. and the pure, perfect sadness of a climax felt alone i have unwound the week to find loneliness in every wednesday i have unwound the week to find loneliness in every wednesday i have unwound the week to find loneliness in every wednesday solitude among the seconds of a live half lived solitude among the seconds of a live half lived. solitude among the seconds of a live half lived. i dissected weekends, teasing arteries of passion i dissected weekends, teasing arteries of passion i dissected weekends, teasing arteries of passion in the parties that they hold, in the parties that they hold, in the parties that they hold, coronary failings in the stories that we told each other coronary failings in the stories that we told each other. coronary failings in the stories that we told each other. i unwound the week until there was nothing left, i unwound the week until there was nothing left, i unwound the week until there was nothing left, except us except us except us

bereft of what we found to fill it

bereft of what we found to fill it

bereft of what we found to fill it and as i unwound the days from their own clutches and as i unwound the days from their own clutches and as i unwound the days from their own clutches i reached the end i reached the end i the end and realised that the weeks don't matter and realised that the weeks don't matter and realised that the weeks don't matter in a year of monday mornings in a year of monday mornings in a year of monday mornings

the things i found (in the things i found (in a week, unwound) a week, unwound)

t.s. idiot t.s. idiot t.s. idiot

a wisteria wedding a wisteria wedding

priyanka sacheti priyanka sacheti priyanka sacheti

look, look: look, look: look, look: the wisteria is getting married. the wisteria is getting married the wisteria is getting married. what then does it matter if what then does it matter if what then does it matter if its sole attendees and witnesses its sole attendees and witnesses its sole attendees and witnesses are the sun, sky, and clouds? are the sun, sky, and clouds? are the sun, sky, and clouds?

yes, the roses are still sulking yes, the roses are still sulking yes, the roses are still sulking the anemones lost in thought, the anemones lost in thought, the anemones lost in thought, and tulips, mourning nebulae. and tulips, mourning nebulae and tulips, mourning nebulae. yes, the magnolia tree has yes, the magnolia tree has yes, the magnolia tree has renounced its blooms renounced its blooms renounced its blooms as have the pear and cherry, as have the pear and cherry, as have the pear and cherry, all busy embroidering all busy embroidering all busy embroidering a green maternity dress. a green maternity dress a green maternity dress. yet, the white camellias will yet, the white camellias will yet, the white camellias will quietly bless from the distance, quietly bless from the distance, quietly bless from the distance, their ivory light lanterning their ivory light lanterning their ivory light lanterning the desolate gloom the desolate gloom. the desolate gloom.

in the night, when the moon in the night, when the moon in the night, when the moon will come out to play, will come out to play, will come out to play, the wisteria will glow with the wisteria will glow with the wisteria will glow with the force of a thousand stars. the force of a thousand stars the force of a thousand stars. for now, this is all what it needs: for now, this is all what it needs: for now, this is all what it needs: to be seen only much to be seen only much to be seen only much as it needs to be seen. as it needs to be seen as it needs to be seen. and when one mauve promise and when one mauve promise and when one mauve promise will finally fall in the air, will finally fall in the air, will finally fall in the air, the entire garden will the entire garden will the entire garden will sit up and listen, sit up and listen, sit up and listen, in thrall. in thrall in thrall.

recipes are love recipes are love lletters etters

sarah brooks sarah brooks sarah brooks

recipes are love letters recipes are love letters recipes are love letters from our ancestors from our ancestors from our ancestors listen, you can hear listen, you can hear listen, you can hear them kneading, them kneading, them kneading, stirring over the fire stirring over the fire stirring over the fire recalling what they recalling what they recalling what they know by heart know by heart know by heart the combining of elements, the combining of elements, the combining of elements, the alchemy of salt and fat the alchemy of salt and fat the alchemy of salt and fat of yeast and flour of yeast and flour of yeast and flour bringing us together bringing us together bringing us together across time across time across time returning to tables returning to tables returning to tables and hearth and hearth and hearth from hot fields from hot fields from hot fields and disparate locations and disparate locations and disparate locations to be nourished and reminded to be nourished and reminded to be nourished and reminded of the cultivation of the cultivation of the cultivation and cross-pollination and cross-pollination and cross-pollination of cultures through food of cultures through food of cultures through food the spices and roots the spices and roots the spices and roots gathered up and heated, gathered up and heated, gathered up and heated, indebted to the labor indebted to the labor indebted to the labor of sun and hands, of sun and hands, of sun and hands, of the harvest of the harvest of the harvest and the seed. and the seed and the seed.

restoration work restoration work

you come to my workshop, skin stained with you come to my workshop, skin stained with you come to my workshop, skin stained with stubble, eyes licked with an aureole of grime. stubble, eyes licked with an aureole of grime stubble, eyes licked with an aureole of grime. the elements have bruised the pallor from your the elements have bruised the pallor from your the elements have bruised the pallor from your vveins. veins. eins

i make ready my tools, prepare a poultice to i make ready my tools, prepare a poultice to i make ready my tools, prepare a poultice to coax vermillion from the cracks, a blood-heavy coax vermillion from the cracks, a blood-heavy coax vermillion from the cracks, a blood-heavy chrism that pours through the hollows of your chrism that pours through the hollows of your chrism that pours through the hollows of your cheeks cheeks. cheeks

the scalpel shaves the pitted retina of wax that the scalpel shaves the pitted retina of wax that the scalpel shaves the pitted retina of wax that masks corrosion, the retting of fault lines that masks corrosion, the retting of fault lines that masks corrosion, the retting of fault lines that expose the weaknesses of stone, an inscription expose the weaknesses of stone, an inscription expose the weaknesses stone, an inscription of neglect, of neglect, of neglect,

an epigraph of the broken words that spill an epigraph of the broken words that spill an epigraph of the broken words that spill between us i bond them with filler, insert between us. i bond them with filler, insert between us. i bond them with filler, insert dowels to strengthen failures, retouch the dowels to strengthen failures, retouch the dowels to strengthen failures, retouch the iintricacies intricacies ntricacies

of your form until my fingernails are bitten of your form until my fingernails are bitten of your form until my fingernails are bitten into amethyst… but marble has no loyalty, it takes into amethyst but marble has no loyalty, it takes into amethyst… but marble has no loyalty, it takes on the blemish of the touch, reflecting only what is frail on the blemish of the touch, reflecting only what is frail. on the blemish of the touch, reflecting only what is frail you shrug your shoulders and leave. you shrug your shoulders and leave you shrug your shoulders and leave.

anne daly anne daly anne daly

they open they open they open like two like two like two lips parting lips parting lips parting slightly like slightly like slightly like fly trap fly trap fly trap like finger like finger like finger trap enticing trap enticing trap enticing like toothed- like toothed- like toothedsoftened skin softened skin softened skin inviting nervous inviting nervous inviting nervous fingers in fingers in fingers in to velvet- to velvet- to velvetwalled rooms walled rooms walled rooms

deep scarlet deep scarlet deep scarlet

wombs where wombs where wombs where sticky sick sticky sick sticky sick pollen grips pollen grips pollen grips finger tips finger tips finger tips like licking like licking like licking

dripping honey- dripping honey- dripping honeysuckling tit suckling tit suckling tit

farmer's market farmer's market fflowers lowers

alex c. eisenberg alex c. eisenberg alex c. eisenberg

portal worlds portal worlds

ariel so ariel so ariel so

the way around doubt is the way around doubt is the way around doubt is to live with a roommate you’ll hear to live with a roommate you’ll hear to live with a roommate you’ll hear through walls, passive ears through walls, passive ears through walls, passive ears in a time capsule i don’t know in a time capsule i don’t know in a time capsule i don’t know who i am without to share the living who i am without to share the living who i am without to share space, shave off ice cubes, minimize anxious frozen water. space, shave off ice cubes, minimize anxious frozen water space, shave off ice cubes, minimize anxious frozen water. coral, floral-patterned duvet cover. why don’t we just coral, floral-patterned duvet cover why don’t we just coral, floral-patterned duvet cover. why don’t we just call it a blanket? i kill my darlings call it a blanket? i kill my darlings call it a blanket? i kill my darlings and usually don’t move on. like a sliver of rice; and usually don’t move on like a sliver of rice; and usually don’t move on like a sliver of rice; each time disposing of one, i add a new each time disposing of one, i add a new each time disposing of one, i add a new trinket to the bowl whatever, trinket to the bowl. whatever, trinket to the bowl whatever, i’m enamored with little automatics firing i’m enamored with little automatics firing i’m enamored with little automatics firing off in neurons my receptors decide off in neurons. my receptors decide off in neurons my receptors decide to flush those DNA candies, collecting where to flush those DNA candies, collecting where to flush those DNA candies, collecting where debts go like that old lady with dementia, debts go like that old lady with dementia, debts go like that lady with dementia, who kept asking why did they put her in who kept asking why did they put her in who kept asking why did they put her in the nursing home. weeks later, c ’est la vie! the nursing home weeks later, c ’est la vie! the nursing home. weeks later, c ’est vie! my apparitions since 2014, from river of lethe, my apparitions since 2014, from river of lethe, my apparitions since 2014, from river of lethe, return the awful bliss of forgetting; to return the awful bliss of to return the awful bliss of forgetting; to recalling at last, the wash basin recalling at wash basin recalling at last, the wash basin of stains regret is so useless of stains regret is so useless of stains regret is so useless our blessings taste leftover sweetness, our blessings taste leftover sweetness, our blessings taste leftover sweetness, click-clack, another face emerging click-clack, another face emerging click-clack, another face emerging on a virtual screen i sent guardian henry over on a virtual screen. i sent guardian henry over on a virtual screen i sent guardian henry over to roam like unstable wi-fi doing his job here to roam like unstable wi-fi doing his job here to roam like unstable wi-fi doing his job here then slacking around me, first and then slacking around me, first and then slacking around me, first and foremost a poet, then full-time foremost a poet, then full-time foremost a poet, then full-time girlfriend. my handling of both is girlfriend my handling of both is girlfriend. my handling of both is the multitasking hiring managers keep the multitasking hiring keep the multitasking hiring managers keep pestering over. i dive into books, over dive into books, pestering over i dive into books, cook ramen, shower, lend relationship cook ramen, shower, lend relationship cook ramen, shower, lend relationship advice for free, like i’m in no need advice for free, like i’m in no need. advice for free, like i’m in no need that spice of irony meanwhile, checking my phone that spice of irony. meanwhile, checking my phone that spice of irony meanwhile, checking my phone and emails radio silence and emails. radio silence. and emails radio silence

my partner says it is, i’m glad it’s REAL i’m my partner says it is, i’m glad it’s REAL. i’m my partner says it is, i’m it’s REAL i’m relieved henry’s the only ghost he’s relieved henry’s the only ghost he’s relieved henry’s the only ghost he’s acquainted, and an identifiable acquainted, and an identifiable acquainted, and an identifiable one; the reason is we don’t own him as in, he can go one; the reason is we don’t own him as in, he can go one; the reason is we don’t own him as in, he can go wherever he pleases. the anonymity doesn’t wherever he pleases the anonymity doesn’t wherever he pleases. the anonymity doesn’t work for me. otherwise for me otherwise work for me. otherwise i’m the one who’s i’m the one who’s i’m the one who’s created him, rather than created him, rather than created him, rather than his owning his owning his owning my name my name. my name

women in love, women in love, ttoday oday

rida akhtar ghumman rida akhtar ghumman rida akhtar ghumman

the only man i have loved is a man hazy, dreamy, in memory; the only man i have loved is a man hazy, dreamy, in memory; the only man i have loved is a man hazy, dreamy, in memory; a man that doesn’t exist, not anymore. a man that doesn’t exist, not anymore. a man that doesn’t exist, not anymore it’s just paper and isolations now. it’s just paper and isolations now it’s just paper and isolations now. me and nooks of childhood envisioned tomorrows, me and nooks of childhood envisioned tomorrows, me and nooks of childhood envisioned tomorrows, today I’m hiding. yesterday hiding was a sport. today I’m hiding yesterday hiding was a sport today I’m hiding. yesterday hiding was a sport. isolations get hideous without paper isolations get hideous without paper. isolations get hideous without paper.

i have loved so many women: all my life spent admiring the “her ” i have loved so many women: all my life spent admiring the “her.” i have loved so many women: all my life spent admiring the “her ” the cross-legged neighbor on bus, the cross-legged neighbor on bus, the cross-legged neighbor on bus, the one who shared her quickly bought chips the one who shared her quickly bought chips. the one who shared her quickly bought chips. then “she” even offered me her very tea. then “she” even offered me her very tea. then “she” even offered me her very tea it’s clay and joy and bare feet wonders of today. it’s clay and joy and bare feet wonders of today it’s clay and joy and bare feet wonders of today. women embracing each other women embracing each other. women embracing each other.

laughters of children : men traipsing for love. laughters of children : men traipsing for love. laughters of children : men traipsing for love

women waving off rains that set lahori july mornings at bay.

women waving off rains that set lahori july mornings at bay

women waving off rains that set lahori july mornings at bay. between jargons of my dupatta, between jargons of my dupatta, between jargons of my dupatta, between the clenched fist walking past never-lit lamp posts, between the clenched fist walking past never-lit lamp posts, between the clenched fist walking past never-lit lamp posts, between bars of instantaneously clever law men, between bars of instantaneously clever law men, between bars of instantaneously clever law men, between lazily reverberating slow film frames, between lazily reverberating slow film frames, between lazily reverberating slow film frames, paper and isolations ; today, yesterday, tomorrow, everyday. paper and isolations ; today, yesterday, tomorrow, everyday. paper and isolations ; today, yesterday, tomorrow, everyday

books and fires books and fires

ramyani bhattacharya ramyani bhattacharya ramyani bhattacharya

the moth-eaten pages of my father's old books quiver the moth-eaten pages of my father's old books quiver the moth-eaten pages of my father's old books quiver with ghost-touch of the past, surviving on yellowed with ghost-touch of the past, surviving on yellowed with ghost-touch of the past, surviving on yellowed affection. my father never smiled at me, leaving me affection father never smiled at me, leaving me affection. my father never smiled at me, leaving me to tear down, with drought fringing the air sacks to tear down, with drought fringing the air sacks to tear down, with drought fringing the air sacks inside my gilded cage. inside my gilded cage inside my gilded cage

twenty is a large number of years to commit mistakes twenty is a large number of years to commit mistakes. twenty is a large number of years to commit mistakes and larger, if each day passes in guilt-ridden excesses, and larger, if each day passes in guilt-ridden excesses, and larger, if each day passes in guilt-ridden excesses, which outgrow my body in barbed paper lilies books which outgrow my body in barbed paper lilies. books which outgrow my body in barbed paper lilies. books line the fence separating two little bodies out in the line the fence separating two little bodies out in the line the fence separating two little bodies out in the wooded shelves of skin and bones. us. wooded shelves of skin and bones us wooded shelves skin and bones. us.

my father never looked at me, his eyes searching the my father never looked at me, his eyes searching the my father never looked at me, his eyes searching the horizons of the little printed garamonds on nice, thick, horizons of the little printed garamonds on nice, thick, horizons of the little printed garamonds on thick, horrible paper, the edges searing my fingers when i touch horrible paper, the edges searing my fingers when i touch horrible paper, the edges searing my fingers when i touch the touch of his fingers on the surface, the books remain the touch of his fingers on the surface, the books remain the touch of his fingers on the surface, the books remain the mistress of his proximity, the mistress of his proximity, the mistress of his proximity,

he lingers inside those pages that i took out today. in stacks

he lingers inside those pages that i took out today. in stacks

he lingers inside those pages that i took out today in stacks that host his useless pride, and dwelt on them for long, that host his useless pride, and dwelt on them for long, that host his useless pride, and dwelt on them for long, i burned each page, with precision till his touch melted

i burned each page, with precision till his touch melted into a thick ashen mess on the floor, and smelled of blood. into a thick ashen mess on the floor, and smelled of blood into a thick ashen mess on the floor, and smelled of blood

i burned each page, with precision till his touch melted

contributors list contributors list contributors list

P O E T I C S : V O L U M E I P O E T I C S : V O L U M E I P O E T I C S : V O L U M E I

k a j a k a j a k a j a

c a r o l i n e d i n h c a r o l i n e d i n h c a r o l i n e d i n h

s o f í a a g u i l a r s o f í a a g u i l a r s o f í a a g u i l a r l i a m h e i t m a n n - r y c e - l e m e r c i e r l i a m h e i t m a n n - r y c e - l e m e r c i e r l i a m h e i t m a n n - r y c e - l e m e r c i e r r i y a m . c y r i a c r i y a m . c y r i a c r i y a m c y r i a c r a c h e l b r o o k e r a c h e l b r o o k e r a c h e l b r o o k e

s a n j a n a r a j a g o p a l s a n j a n a r a j a g o p a l s a n j a n a r a j a g o p a l t a m a r a a l - q a i s i - c o l e m a n t a m a r a a l - q a i s i - c o l e m a n t a m a r a a l - q a i s i - c o l e m a n s h a l i n i s i n g h s h a l i n i s i n g h s h a l i n i s i n g h w i l l c a r t e r w i l l c a r t e r w i l l c a r t e r p a m k n a p p p a m k n a p p p a m k n a p p

z o e e l i s a b e t h z o e e l i s a b e t h z o e e l i s a b e t h s h i k s h a d h e d a s h i k s h a d h e d a s h i k s h a d h e d a

a d e e b a j a f r i a d e e b a j a f r i a d e e b a j a f r i s a l k a n g s a l k a n g s a l k a n g

k a r a g o u g h n o u r k a r a g o u g h n o u r k a r a g o u g h n o u r j o w e l l t a n j o w e l l t a n j o w e l l t a n

n a m h o a n g t r a n n a m h o a n g t r a n n a m h o a n g t r a n j e m i m a g o s m o r e j e m i m a g o s m o r e j e m i m a g o s m o r e t s i d i o t t . s . i d i o t t . s . i d i o t

p r i y a n k a s a c h e t i p r i y a n k a s a c h e t i p r i y a n k a s a c h e t i s a r a h b r o o k s s a r a h b r o o k s s a r a h b r o o k s

a n n e d a l y a n n e d a l y a n n e d a l y

a l e x c e i s e n b e r g a l e x c . e i s e n b e r g a l e x c e i s e n b e r g

a r i e l s o a r i e l s o a r i e l s o

r i d a a k h t a r g h u m m a n r i d a a k h t a r g h u m m a n r i d a a k h t a r g h u m m a n

m a r d o q u e o ( m a r c ) a r t e a g a m a r d o q u e o ( m a r c ) a r t e a g a m a r d o q u e o ( m a r c ) a r t e a g a

r a m y a n i b h a t t a c h a r y a r a m y a n i b h a t t a c h a r y a r a m y a n i b h a t t a c h a r y a

for wordsmiths, storytellers

ffor for or wordsmiths, wordsmiths, wordsmiths, sstorytellers storytellers torytellers & the & the & the poetically poetically poetically iinclined. inclined. nclined.

and the poetically

inclined.