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Our hope is that you will “prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers,“ (3 John 1:2). So we’ve dedicated this issue of pointe! to a healthy you – spirit, soul and body. St. Irenaeus said, “The glory of God is man fully alive.” That goes for you amazing women, too! To be healthy is to be alive, in every area of life. Webster defines health as “the condition of being sound in body, mind, or spirit; a flourishing condition; well-being.” Let’s take a quick HEALTH assessment and look at some potential action steps toward becoming a healthier you. H – Honestly, how alive are you now? Is your life rich and full like a sweet strawberry covered in chocolate fondue or dry, dull and lacking in flavor? Ask safe people who will be truthful with you what they see. E – Eating. What’s your intake – physically, emotionally, mentally? Keep a journal of your thoughts. Look at your relationships; make changes in any that are toxic and invest time in healthy ones.
WINTER 2011
A fresh start gives me hope. I’m thankful for the opportunity to take a look at my life, celebrate what’s working and move forward into changing what’s not.
CONTENTS
i love a new year
A – Affirmation. How affirmed do you feel? How free are you to be you? Are you hiding your ideas, your true identity? Don’t hold back. Let the world feel the fullness of who God made you to be.
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It's Okay . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5 Hope for a Healthy You . . . . . . . . . . . 11 Good Friends = A Better You . . . . . . . 30 You Gotta Believe . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 36
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14 Days of Love . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17 One More Tour with Honor. . . . . . . . 34
action pointe!s
A Splash of Color . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9 Weathering the Winter with Style . . . 16 Run the Race . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 23 Exercises for a Healthy Marriage . . . . 24 From the Heart of a Cardiologist . . . . 25
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InsideOut Transformation . . . . . . . . . . 8 When Life Goes Off Script . . . . . . . . 28
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A Fresh Start . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6 Think Green . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 31 Cooking Light . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32 2 Healthy Substitutions . . . . . . . . . . . . . 333
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L – Laughter. What’s your joy meter reading? When did you last have a belly laugh? If it has been a while, get intentional about upping your laugh quota. Watch silly movies; be with fun friends. Hang around some little ones and rediscover your giggle box. T- Thankfulness. How much are you in touch with the good things in your life? Is your attitude generally positive? Make a list of 10 things/people for which you are thankful. Take time to send a note telling them so! H – Heart. Are you living life passionately and loving deeply? Do small things still bring you joy? How’s your energy level? Find out what inspires and rejuvenates you. Rekindle your dreams. Finally, remember you don’t have to go this alone. Find a few close friends and take the journey together. I pray that by the end of 2011 you’ll be healthier and more fully alive than you’ve ever been.
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EDITORS
LAYOUT & DESIGN
Lori Stephanoff Wanda Litchenberg Cindy Van Horn
Sherie LaPrade Chris Duckett
ADVERTISING Cara Adams Madeleine Thomas
To advertise, go to pointemag.org or contact advertise@pointemag.org
Because girlfriends matter, g
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pointe! magazine | cathedral of praise | 3790 ashley phosphate road charleston, south carolina | 843.760.2626 | www.pointemag.org
It’s Okay... to believe in fairy tale endings to drive by weekly to check for the opening date of a new bakery to take time out of your hectic schedule to take care of yourself – physically, spiritually and emotionally to have dinner by candlelight (even if there’s no special occasion or food) to NOT text while driving. Really, we can wait! to brag about your man rather than joining in a man-bashing conversation to ask for help
t NOT make your bed every morning to to NOT wear makeup every day to cry during Extreme Home Makeover to cheer for both football teams to cherish your pet to stand up for what you believe to sing out of tune, just sing to turn off your answering machine to NOT answer your cell phone, text messages or email when you’re in the company of a live person to laugh out loud at greeting cards to let your friends see your messy house – they love you, not your cleanliness to wear comfy clothes when going to o hang out at your girlfriend’s house
to love extravagantly
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A fresh
START Todayy off Today Toda o eer ers a brand new chance to breathe deeply, laugh loudly and enjoy life. Clutter often distracts us from what’s really important (and fun)! You don’t have to be a professional organizer to bring order to your world. You’ll be amazed at what you can accomplish in just 15 minutes a day.
DEALING WITH PAPER Newspapers, magazines, mail and more – paper multiplies fast. Handle what comes in each day, then spend a few minutes tackling one of your piles. • •
• • •
Keep a waste container and recycle box near the area where you open your mail. Toss out any junk mail immediately. When a new magazine arrives, recycle last month’s issue or give it away. Keep a few favorites in a bin or basket near your sofa or bathroom. Tuck bills in a designated spot to deal with when you routinely pay them. Write events on your calendar; put related paperwork in a CALENDAR folder if needed. Place important documents in a safe place immediately.
CLEAR THE CLUTTER Choose one area you are going to clear - drawer, file cabinet, closet, etc. Put on some fun music, set a timer if you want and move into action! Sort clutter into 5 containers: 1. Trash: items that can be thrown away (or shredded). 2. Goodwill: items in good condition that someone else may be able to use. 3. Sentimental: place these items in their own box to sort through later. Be sure to set a time for your trip down memory lane. 4. Undecided: these are items you are reluctant to release because you feel you may need them later. Visit this box in one year. If you haven’t needed an item in the last 12 months, get rid of it. 5. Elsewhere: Misplaced items that belong in other areas of your home/office. Keep this box in your chosen area and return these items at the end of your clutter clearing session. FINAL STEP: Within 2 days, be sure to move out trash and Goodwill items and distribute the items in your Elsewhere box to their appropriate locations.
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INSIDEOUT transformation —Erin Mace
As soon as the countdown reaches zero and the New Year begins, many of us get a sudden rush of motivation to make positive changes in our lives. As women, we feel especially charged, ready to change both our bodies and the world. Typical resolutions show up each January, such as exercising more, going on a diet, losing 20 pounds, improving my marriage, getting a better job, quitting a bad habit, getting out of debt and getting organized. These are great goals, but something very important, even essential to our success, may be missing! Why are New Year resolutions often thrown to the curb by February? A lot of times, frustration rises when we do not see change happening. The dilemma lies in that we often have the process of change backwards by initially focusing on external problems. Lasting transformation can only occur if we deal with internal issues first. Usually, problems on the outside provide evidence of something occurring below the surface. While the roots may remain hidden, their presence is given away by outer manifestations such as anger, depression, weight problems, addictions, etc. Quiet culprits hiding below the surface may include past wounds, unforgiveness, bitterness, rejection, guilt and shame. If we do not identify and confront these underlying perpetrators, they will continue to wreak havoc in multiple areas of our lives. Weeds demonstrate how internal transformation must take place before outer transformation can last. When weeds are cut away, the root remains below the surface. Similarly, we can clean up our exterior and try to fix outer problems, such as our weight, but if the internal root leading to the problem persists, the outer change will not last! For example, we’ll keep gaining the weight back or not even be able to lose it in the first place, not understanding that we need to deal with possible underlying issues such as fear of rejection or depression. Additionally, you simply weed-eat your yard, what happens? Addi diti tion ioon nal ally lyy, iff yyo It alw always lway wayss see sseems eeem like new weeds sprout almost overnight. Problems Prob Pr o le ob l ms ms will keep popping up along with your aggravation. Which Wh W hicch explains why popular weight loss programs always emphasize the breakthrough. em em
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Individuals often become frustrated when results don’t happen. The door for positive change begins to open once an emotional breakthrough occurs. We must find the root and dig it up! This process can get quite dirty and may involve pain, but the lasting results will be much more beautiful. The effort to remove weeds from the root is worthwhile because it allows room for positive and lasting new growth in your life.
This year, make a resolution to take care of yourself from the inside-out. Don’t neglect the places that have led to unwanted problems in your life. You will be surprised by the impact of having the courage to confront what has tried to stay hidden for so long. You deserve a fulfilled life of joy!
a Splash of color Cold weather can’t stop these winter wonders: pansies, snapdragons, ornamental cabbages and kale, just to name a few. Growing these flowers will make your gardening season seem that much longer, especially if you long for year-round color that your perennials just can’t provide. Many cool season annuals look wonderful in containers. Some of these flowers will bloom from fall through spring.
Ornamental Cabbages & Kale …look especially good in a large planting, where their color really stands out. …are low growers and often seen as edging plants, where their purplish hues blend in well with other fall colors. …look less out of place in containers than they do scattered throughout a garden. …make nice, long lasting replacement plants for spent summer containers.
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Pansies & Snapdragons COOL WEATHER FAVORITES
Pansies
Snapdragons
…are one of the most popular and recognizable cool weather flowers. Many pansies are bi-colored, making them striking plants for their small size. Although delicate, they are surprisingly hardy. …make a great choice for early and late season containers and complement spring flowering bulbs. …are ideal for edging and for squeezing between rock walls and paths since they are compact, low growers. …can create a focal point and stunning pop in your landscape by planting one color in quantity. If you like a variety of colors but still want a sense of cohesion, select plants from the same series.
…have stalks of brightly colored flowers that are especially profuse in cooler weather. They start blooming at the bottom of the stalk and work their way up. …come in just about every shade. …will bloom longer with regular deadheading. …rely on bumble bees for their pollination. Their flowers are snapped shut and require more pressure to open than a honeybee can provide.
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Hope
for a Healthy You!
—Susan Gardner
Have your New Year’s Resolutions lists included get healthy, exercise more or lose weight for the last several years? Or even decades? Do you even make them anymore? I stopped long ago when, year after year, I didn’t accomplish much on the list. I wondered, “Will I ever be different? Do I have what it takes to be successful?” As the years passed, I was more and more resigned that the answer might be “No.” If this is where you are, be encouraged. With God’s grace and some self-discovery, I have lost over sixty-five pounds in a year and I feel great. It’s possible for you, too. Here’s what I’ve discovered along the way… Know your WHY. Why do you want to be healthier? Take some time and get specific. Do you want to avoid or reverse serious medical issues? Be more active with your family? Climb a flight of stairs without losing your breath? Whatever your reason, the clearer your goals, the more likely you are to succeed. A strong vision will keep you motivated. Take responsibility for where you are today. Acknowledge that the decisions you’ve made in your past led you to this exact point. Amazingly, when you take responsibility for your past, you’ll be free to create a different future. Understand that your thinking determines your decisions. I had convinced myself I was too busy to work out and that cooking healthy took more time and energy. So naturally, I didn’t do either. When I stopped making excuses and started looking for solutions, I found myself able make the necessary changes. Next, seek wisdom and support. Surround yourself with people who will help you, and be open to new relationships. Look for people who: 1) Know how to accomplish what you desire. For me, this was a personal trainer and my Weight Watchers instructor. 2) Will hold you accountable...and then let them. It’s great when they are on the journey with you. 3) Are great cheerleaders - those who will encourage you, day in and day out, without reservation. Remember it’s a journey. Forgive yourself when you fail, then move on. Celebrate your successes - making it through a tough workout, fitting back into your favorite jeans, or playing soccer with your children. You’ll be amazed at what you can accomplish.
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AHealthyYou At any age...
It’s never too late, or too early, to start the journey to a healthy you. Good health involves your spirit, soul and body. Improving one area affects the others. But remember, your true value as a woman has zero correlation with numbers on a scale or dress size. Caring for yourself physically through good nutrition, exercise and proper rest benefits everyone in your life, whether you’re the mom of three or caring for aging parents. You’re worth the investment. You’ll have more energy for work and play, feel better mentally and emotionally, and have greater capacity to deal with whatever comes your way.
Understanding the Numbers WHAT’S A BMR? Your Basal Metabolic Rate (BMR) is the number of calories you’d burn if you stayed in bed all day. (Go ahead. Take a moment to dream about that possibility!) It is influenced by height, weight, age, gender and genetic makeup. And yes, metabolism naturally slows about 5% per decade after age 40.
BMR formula for Women
655 + (4.35 x weight in pounds) inches) - (4.7 x age in years)
+ (4.7 x height in
ITolearned... appreciate the IN 2010
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abilities that I do have.
HOW FAST IS TOO FAST? Attempting to lose weight faster than 1-2 pounds per week can actually be harmful to your health.
How Many Calories Should I Consume? Multiply your BMR by your appropriate activity factor: • sedentary (little or no exercise): BMR x 1.2 • lightly active (light exercise/sports 1-3 days/week): BMR x 1.375 • moderately active (moderate exercise/sports 3-5 days/week): BMR x 1.55 • very active (hard exercise/sports 6-7 days a week): BMR x 1.725 TO GAIN WEIGHT: Consume more calories than your body needs. Yes, it’s ok if you have a really high metabolism and your goal is to gain weight. TO LOSE WEIGHT: Consume fewer calories than your body needs. Ideally, set a goal to lose only 1-2 pounds per week for long-term weight loss success. Attempting to lose weight faster may cause your body to kick into protect mode and burn muscle instead of fat for energy.
AEROBIC VS. ANAEROBIC Aerobic exercises, or "cardio," focus on cardiovascular endurance and are performed for longer periods of time at low-to-moderate intensities. HINT: Pick an activity you enjoy. Aim for 30 minutes, 3-4 days per week. Start with 5 minutes today and build up. • Walking • Jogging • Skating • Biking • Swimming
Anaerobic
activities focus on increasing strength/muscle and are performed for short periods at high intensities. Aim for 30-60 minutes, 2-4 times per week. • Weight Training • Resistance Machines • Calisthenics (Pushups, pull-ups, etc.)
Where Will Inches Come Off First?
To lose one pound, you can exercise more, eat less or combine the two strategies to equal a net decrease of 3500 calories.
It just depends on your body and how you're genetically predisposed. Be aware that sometimes you'll lose inches before you lose pounds.
Why Exercise?
More Water Please
THE BENEFITS • Burns calories, facilitates weight loss and helps avoid weight gain. • Increases muscle mass; muscle burns more calories than fat. • Improve strength, endurance, flexibility and overall health.
If you feel thirsty, it’s past time to drink a glass of water. When you’re hydrated, you’re less likely to have headaches, your skin improves, your digestive system works better and you are less likely to feel fatigued. Add some fresh lemon, lime or orange juice for natural flavor.
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WEATHERING the Winterwith
style!
—Brooks Hearn
LAYERING IS A STYLISH AND FUNCTIONAL OPTION, ESPECIALLY ON DAYS WHEN TEMPERATURES FLUCTUATE. A light turtleneck
and pencil skirt or a sweater dress, boots and tights can face the elements when topped with an overcoat and scarf. Scarves and overcoats come in many different fabrics and weights to work with casual or formal looks. Pairing the [right coat or jacket] with an outfit can polish the entire look. Casual jackets in fleece-like fabrics work well with workout pants or jeans. Pea coats work with a wide range of outfits, particularly those with dress pants, khakis, or jeans. Go for a [brightly colored wool coat] in a shade that contrasts with the rest of your outfit. A bright chartreuse or purple can set off an otherwise monochromatic look. Add a new touch to a favorite coat with a pin or brooch or by replacing the buttons.
[Belted coats and jackets], such as trenches, look great with dresses and skirts or leggings. Longer coats are the perfect complement to dressier looks. Think knee-length for business attire or dresses of similar length, or even longer for more formal outfits.
[Cardigans and vests] come in a variety of colors, fabrics, and styles. Both can accentuate an outfit when lighter-weight pieces are an option.
[Wool dress pants] in a neutral color are a worthwhile investment that can be worn with button-down shirts and sweaters or fun silk blouses. Dark wash jeans can be dressed up with heels and a blazer for a look that works in numerous settings.
[Tights or leggings] make skirts and dresses possible even on cold days. The more opaque the tights, the warmer they should be. Tights add excitement; so don't be afraid of patterns or colors. Be aware of shoe pairings when wearing tights. Consider a tamer, one-colored shoe with more "daring" tights.
[Boots] are still big this season, with over-the-knee boots and booties ranking among the trendiest items. Boots of all heights can work with dresses and skirts, particularly when worn with tights. Flat boots, particularly in suede or even wool knits, tend to work best with more casual looks. Booties pair well with professional attire. Wear leggings, tights or skinny jeans with over-the-knee styles for dinners and parties. When wearing over-the-knee boots with skirts or dresses, make sure your hemline hits at mid-thigh or below in order to maintain a classy overall look.
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TIP: Dry clean your outerwear (coats and jackets) at the end of winter so they’ll be ready when the weather turns cold again. If you don’t wish to dry clean, do a quick touch-up with a lint roller.
14 Days of
Love
M A KING VA LEN TIN E' S D AY E XTR A SPECIA L —Macie Lewis-Ammons
Three years ago, I married the love of my life. Last February, I tried the “14 Days of Love” and had fantastic results. I challenge you to give it a shot! Whether you’ve been married one year or 51 years, I can guarantee you’ll be so glad you did. I enjoyed surprising my husband so much and cannot wait to get creative again this year. You can do this on a shoestring budget. It doesn’t take spending a lot of money to show how much you care.
1. Prepare his favorite homemade dinner and dine by candlelight. 2. Order pizza and watch a movie of his choice.
8. Serve breakfast in bed with heart-shaped pancakes or French toast decorated with powdered sugar (in the shape of a heart, of course).
3. Spell out “I love you” on the floor with roses, kid’s books, toys or candy.
9. Send a message in a bottle telling him 10 reasons (of the millions) why you love him so much.
4. Write sweet notes and place them all over: mirrors, doors, shower, refrigerator, car, etc.
10. Dinner in bed!
5. Bake heart-shaped cookies or his favorite cake with pink icing. 6. In the evening, steam a large mug of hot chocolate with marshmallows. 7. Give his favorite candy in a heart-shaped box or jar.
11. Whisk your man away for an impromptu picnic or to watch the sunset. 12. Send an e-card to his work email. 13. Create a playlist of all your favorite love songs. 14. Sprinkle Hersey kisses on his pillow with a note.
XOXOXO Have fun! XOXOXO P.S. With a little thought, you can modify these ideas to show your friends, co-workers, children and loved ones how special they are, too!
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Life Lessons real
learned in 2010
I learned...
The joys of grandmothering almost outweigh the joys of mothering. othering. You can grow more in love with your man no matter how old you are.
My kids seem to grow faster each year.
Employers Google potential employees and look at their Facebook accounts.
i can survive without a computer!
If I take a few hours off for myself, things will get done. I am worthy of God’s love.
When the high school reunion is over, you lose your motivation to keep the weight off.
it's hard trying to potty train a very independent child.
I learned...
I really NEED friends in my life.
LOVE wins every time. I have to monitor my child’s internet use. To think before I speak. That one of the many voices in my head belongs to God, so I try to listen to it.
Even though I LOVE pasta, it doesn’t love me back. Seeking God for answers results in the right answer every time.
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I learned... to BELIEVE God, rather than just believe IN God.
Cell phones are really attracted to water. For 35 YEARS I lived without a cell phone, but when it falls into the water, I need a replacement within 35 MINUTES.
LIFE IS PRECIOUS.
A person can change in an instant.
You should cherish everything you have, for it can vanish without warning. To make every day count. Time really will pass you by.
if God takes you TO it, He will always take you THROUGH it. No matter where I am in life, God will always send people to live it with me. I can no longer drink coffee with dessert and expect to still fall asleep easily.
When your child goes off to college is when you truly realize he was just yours for a short time. TITHING WORKS. Dark chocolate is better for me than light chocolate.
No matter how old my children are when they may leave home, they never leave home. Taking the “pill” while on antibiotics does in fact cause it to be ineffective, thus resulting in pregnancy.
......................... I learned...
HHaving a fifteen year old who has a learner’s permit isn’t really all that scary; in fact, it is really cool. i do have the strength to conquer my past and leave it behind me.
I don’t have enough girlfriends.
It takes the same amount of time to get myself and three kids ready as it did to get myself and two kids ready. ...it takes my husband twice that much time to get ready.
Kids really do say the darndest things. FAMILY IS EVERYTHING.
Hummingbirds apparently are not afraid of cats.
A GPS will make mistakes.
It is fun to play in the mud.
Laughter is good for the soul. GOD STILL DOES MIRACLES.
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charleston
RACES
(Race Finder at runnersworld.com)
Jan 8: Bulldog Breakaway 5K The Citadel, CITADELSPORTS.COM Jan 15: Riverfront Marathon Festival, N. Charleston
Run
RIVERFRONTRACEFESTIVAL.COM
Jan 29: Charlie Post Classic 15K/5K, Sullivans Island CHARLESTONRUNNINGCLUB.COM
Feb 5: Save the Light HalfMarathon & 5K, Folly Beach
race Race
the the
—Amy Brace
Does the idea of running appeal to you but you lack the motivation and the confidence to get started? Be encouraged! Your body is fearfully and wonderfully made and capable of a lot more than you may think. Take it from a 38-year-old beginning runner. Two years ago, I could barely huff and puff around a track four times. Now I love to run! I’ve done 5k’s, 10k’s, a half marathon, and recently my first marathon.
Running builds strength, health, confidence, and gives you extra energy. If you’re just getting started, try a training program like “Couch to 5K” to get you in 5K shape in 9 weeks (download to your iPod from c25k.com). For other online training plans, try sport-fitness-advisor.com and runnersworld.com.
Tips: • Make sure you are healthy enough to begin a running program. • Find a friend or group of friends who will run with you.
• Start small (alternate running and walking) and work up gradually. • Keep a comfortable pace, and don’t worry if you’re slow. You’re out there; that’s what counts. • Commit to a 5K race (3.2 miles) to keep you motivated. • STRETCH! Many injuries are due to a lack of stretching. • Don’t run with pain; see a doctor.
Essential Gear: • The right shoes. I like Asics 2150’s light, breathable, with lots of toe space. • A good sports bra. • Small washcloth for sweat. • Tank top (instead of t-shirt) and spandex shorts (both prevent chafing). • Water bottle – plan to hydrate at least every two miles. • ID with your name, blood type, and who to call in an emergency – just in case. And most importantly, remember: “I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:13
ACTIONCAROLINA.COM
Feb 19: MESSA 8K for H20 Folly Beach, SPINNER.COFC.EDU RACE DISTANCES 5k = 3.1 miles, 10k = 6.2 miles, Half Marathon = 13.1 miles Marathon = 26.2 miles
Feb 26: LifePoint Gift of Life 5K/2K, James Island County Park LIFEPOINT-SC.ORG
March 12: Flowertown Run 10K, 5K, Summerville SUMMERVILLEYMCA.ORG
March 17: Catch the Leprechaun 5K, Mt. Pleasant CATCHTHELEPRECHAUN5K. BLOGSPOT.COM
Apr 2: Cooper River Bridge Run 10K, Mt. Pleasant/Charleston BRIDGERUN.COM
Apr 8-9: Palmetto 200 - Team Relay from Columbia to Folly Beach PALMETTO200.COM
Apr 21: iFiveK, 5K Charleston, IFIVEK.COM
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exercises Marriage FOR A HEALTHY
—Alyce Reeves
Do you like to exercise? If not, you probably have friends who do. Many women are busy with Pilates, Core X Systems, jazzercise, gym strength training, walking, or something else to keep their bodies moving, healthy and looking good. It’s true: strong bodies need regular, healthy exercise to stay in good shape. Sweating for an hour in an aerobics class once every three months is not going to make you lose weight. And if you don’t exercise, your body becomes weak, lazy, and flabby. Likewise, healthy marriages need daily, loving communication to be strong and successful. Listing all the things wrong with each other doesn’t count for good talking time. The couples who enjoy successful marriages work regularly on their communication because they don’t want a bored, lazy, out-of-shape marriage. Do you have some areas of your marriage that need to get stronger? If you do, study these exercises and practice them daily for a healthier relationship.
Exercise #1: Practice being kind • Say “yes” a lot more than “no” when your mate asks for a favor or for help. • Say “please” and “thank you” when speaking to your spouse. • Don’t roll your eyes when your sweetheart says something with which you disagree. • Don’t allow your teasing to be hurtful or critical; be sure it is lighthearted and fun in your mate’s eyes. • Save the last piece of pie or cookie for your mate. • Be gracious and generous with loving physical touches.
EXERCISE #2: STRETCH YOUR MIND • Be more flexible in doing things, with a good attitude, that your spouse enjoys. • Listen to your mate, with interest, about things he enjoys.
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• Express respect for your mate’s opinions, ideas, and needs. • Forgive your mate because it’s the right thing for you to do to be healthy. • Accept the normal differences in the way men and women think about sex.
EXERCISE #3: BALANCE YOUR COMMUNICATION • Make statements that let your spouse know you understand where he is coming from. • Accurately describe your mate’s actions (the facts) that have upset you. • Share your feelings without being over-dramatic. • Listen attentively, without interrupting, rather than defending, justifying, or attacking. • Listen with your heart for the deeper needs and hurts.
EXERCISE #4: LIFT YOUR MATE. • Show appreciation every time you catch your spouse doing something you like. • Compliment your spouse’s physical appearance with sincerity. • Express confidence and belief in your spouse’s abilities. • Name all the reasons you are better together than apart. • Commit to be there for your mate in the good times and the not-so-good times. • Pray for God’s peace, power, and presence to be with your mate daily. If you hope to have a happy, successful marriage, you’re going to need to strengthen your marriage muscles. Get to work on these marriage exercises, and, before long, you’ll have replaced a flabby, unhealthy marriage with a strong, fit one.
from the —Bozman R. Reeves, Jr., M.D.
Heart of a Cardiologist
You CAN prevent heart disease by following a heart-healthy lifestyle. Here are 10 strategies to help you get started. Heart disease may be the leading eading cause of death for both men and women, but that doesn’t mean ean you have to accept it as your fate as the disease is often avoidable. ble. Following a heart-healthy lh lifestyle doesn’t have to bee complicated. Although you cannot change some risk factors — such as family history or age —here are some key heart disease prevention steps you can take:
1. MOVE MORE; E; EAT LESS Regular physical activity ty helps control your weight. It also reduces stress.
2. DIVIDE & CONQUER Instead of three largee meals, divide your eating ating into smaller portions ns throughout the day. y. And slow down! Eating moree slowly gives your body a chance to figure out that it’s satisfied before you overeat.
3. THROW OUT THE CARBS. Eat fewer highly refined, low-quality, white carbs, and work some lean, high-quality protein into your meals so you’re less likely to head back to the fridge in an hour. One of the easiest ways to reduce carb consumption is to avoid products with added sugars.
4. LEARN TO LIKE WHOLE WHEAT PRODUCTS. Whole grains are good sources of fiber and other nutrients that play a role in regulating blood pressure and heart health.
5. EAT LESS FAT; FILL UP ON VEGGIES. Fill up on the veggies on your plate before eating the entree. Eating more fruits and veggies may help you eat less high-fat foods, such as meat, cheese and snack foods.
10 WAYS TO A HEALTHY HEART
6. CHOOSE FISH AND CHICKEN. Poultry, low-fat dairy products, and egg whites or egg substitutes are some of your best sources of protein. Be careful to choose lower fat options and preparation styles.
7. KE KEEP YOUR BLOOD PRESSURE LOW. Now researchers have found that keeping your blood N pressure under control increases the flow of blood to your brain, thus preventing mini-strokes mini that may lead to dementia. Keeping yyour blood pressure at normal levels will reduce the risk of stroke, heart attack, cong congestive heart failure, and kidney disease disease.
8. KNOW YOU YOUR LEVELS AND LISTEN TO YOUR DOCTOR’S ADVICE AD If you have diabetes, take t care of your heart. Having diabe diabetes means you are more likely to have hav a heart attack or a stroke—but stroke—bu it doesn’t have to—if you take care of your t diabetes. Know your blood sugar and cholesterol levels and commit to follow your you ur doctor’s plan. plan
9. AVOID ALL TOBACCO PRO PRODUCTS. The good news iis that when you quit smoking smoking, your risk of heart disease drops dramatically within just one year. No matter how long or how much you smoked, you’ll start reaping rewards as soon as you quit.
10. GIVE IT TO GOD AND KNOW PEACE. Stress can make us tired, sick, and even unable to concentrate or think clearly. It can also cause anxiety, panic attacks, and depression. God doesn’t want us to stress; He wants us to rest. He wants His peace to rule and reign in our lives.
Find ways to include heart-healthy habits into your lifestyle — and you may enjoy a healthier life for many, many years to come!
www.pointemag.org { 25
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WHEN
GOES LIFE OFF SCRIPT -E. OTTO TILLEY It all began with a phone call from a friend. “Have you ever heard of the TV show, World’s Strictest Parents? " To which I replied, “No.” He then explained the concept behind the title of this fairly new reality TV show.
T
ake two unruly, out-of-control teenagers and drop them into a family, with teenagers of their own, where structure and discipline command obedience. The goal is to break them out of their self-destructive behavior before the consequences cause irreparable harm to themselves or others. Oh yes, and you need to accomplish this goal in five days! The next question would forever alter my family and many others. “Are you willingg to have two troubled teens in your home?” My response was steeped in wisdom: “Let me talk to my wife.” After some prayer and deliberation, we agreed to enter the process to become a World’s Strictest Parentss host family. After a rigorous screening, we were approved. d. We called a family meeting with our two teenagers gers and discussed our strategy. We agreed that for this his one week, all of our time, energy and effort would have to be poured into these two teenagers. We would ld have to become immune to the intrusion of cameras and nd crew, and just be ourselves. We also knew that we couldn’t do it alone. We have a tremendous support system around us: a strong church family and school community and a commitment to home being a place where our kids want to be. The great thing about World’s Strictest Parents is they encourage you to utilize all of the resources you have used to successfully raise your own kids. From the very beginning, it was obvious that we were not driving this event; we were cooperating with something much bigger than this show or us. God had decided to creatively intervene in the lives of two precious teenagers and, in the process, He would also
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change the lives of all those involved. A team of three producers arrived a week early and began making preparations. They worked like a well-oiled machine, getting permissions, arranging shooting locations, and helping us plan out the week with the kids. There is a formula they use for shooting the show; Day 1: Kids arrive and rules are established, Day 2: Full day of hard work, Day 3: More hard work and a community service project, Day 4: More work and the kids receive a letter from home, Day 5: Parents arrive to take the kids home. The invasion began in true LA style. A truck carrying more electronic equipment than I could count pulled into our drive, followed by black SUV’s full of the rest of the “crew.” They all jumped out b and immedia immediately went to work transforming our home into a mini television studio. Our garage became the hub for the tele studio and home base for the producers, audio engineers, cameramen, and support personnel. During the day, a cam crew cr of fifteen people would be in our garage while two cameramen and two audio engineers followed our life inside. They even had a portable toilet brought in so that the crew didn’t contaminate our environment with constant interruptions. Their goal is to disappear when taping starts, and they are very good at it! We were ready t to engage the formula for shooting the show, but right away aw our episode began shaping up as a very “different” one. Day One began at a fast and furious pace as the crew taped our family in our normal routines of making beds, cleaning the house, and my wife and I communicating with our kids. We had to get this footage for the show before the teens arrived that afternoon. By noon, we were done. While the crew took a well-deserved lunch break, our family sat together, sharing our thoughts regarding what was just about to happen with the arrival of the teens. Then the senior producer walked in with some news she had just received from LA. “The kids aren’t coming today. The boy has come down
with mono, and they have to get a replacement for him.” She had no idea what the new timetable would be. Our shooting dates had already been changed twice, and neither of the prior taping plans had worked out for us to be able to take the teenagers to our church’s youth service. But God… The producers and crew enjoyed a couple of days off in Charleston while we waited. All of their comments were the same, “We have never been to a place where the people were so nice.” They were so thankful for their time in Charleston. Two days passed. The show’s team found a replacement teen boy and we had us a new timetable. How exciting to learn that the new timing was perfect! We would now be able to attend a Wednesday night youth service with the two teenagers! Just like that, God had perfectly orchestrated their arrival. The big day - finally! Again the crew was set and ready to capture the moment when the horn honked in our driveway, signaling the arrival of our two “unruly” teens. We had watched the show enough to know that the greeting was always pleasant, but the true colors would come out soon. The horn honked and we all walked outside to see who would come out of the SUV. My wife and I had discussed the need to be tough and firm right out of the gate. They can’t see any weakness or they’ll exploit it. Our plan was in place. When the doors opened and those two teenagers stepped out, we were blindsided as our hearts flooded with an incredible love for these two strangers. We struggled to hang on to our “tough and strong” stance, but inside we were melting with compassion for these two beautiful young people.
The normal pattern would have the kids cussing and yelling at their host parents by now; but instead, there was peace. From the start, God had established a new pattern. It was as if He said, “This isn’t going to go the way you planned, but trust me.” The producers scrambled to put their heads together and figure out how this episode would look because nothing was going according to plan. They had a choice; chalk this episode up as a loss, or go with what was unfolding and trust that the outcome would be worth it. They chose to go with it, and the next few days were incredible! The crew was blown away by the results we were seeing. “We’ve never seen an episode like this. This has never happened. Thank you for the way you parent.” These were just a few of the comments we kept getting from the producers and crew. The crew gave me a unique and flattering nickname; I became playfully known as ‘the teen whisperer’ because of the level of compliance and deep connection. Now before you think I’m trying to take credit for what happened, let me clear that up by stating what was really happening. The atmosphere in our home had become pregnant with God’s grace. It was tangible, you could sense it, and you could almost touch it. My wife and I talked many times alone about how strong God’s presence was and how we knew it was not only for the teens, but also for all who had entered our home. It was like heaven was invading earth right there in our home. We developed extremely deep relationships with the teens and the crew of the show.
It was as if God said, “This isn’t going to go the way you planned, but trust me.”
Greetings made, we headed inside to lay out the rules. All was going according to the formula; we would lay out the rules and ask if they had brought anything unacceptable into our home. They would then deny that they had and we would search their suitcases and find the contraband. That’s the way it’s supposed to work. We asked the question, “Did you bring anything into our home that we need to know about?” Without hesitation, they confessed! Not only did they tell us what they brought, they told us where to find it. This would be the new pattern, the God pattern for our episode. The teens went to their rooms to unpack, and the producer came in for a download. “That’s not supposed to happen.” We would hear that statement a lot over the next few days. The producer, visibly upset about the break in the way things were supposed to go, gathered her thoughts, “We’ll get them in the morning. We will be here before sunrise to wake the kids up and catch their attitudes when you make them get up and make their beds.”
If you have an inspirational story that you would like to share about yourself or someone in your community, please submit your story to articles@pointemag.org (1000 word limit).
The saddest moment came when they had to leave. We cried, they cried; but we trusted God and knew that He had planted seeds that would continue to grow. The next day the crew arrived to pack up and leave. We hugged, we laughed, and again we cried as this group of incredible individuals headed to their next shoot. The one comment they each made to us as we said our goodbye’s was “Thank you for letting us be a part of what happened here this week.” They knew they had been a part of something special. Two days later the producers came by for one final check to make sure our home was okay from the invasion. “We’ve never done this before for any other family,” they said as they handed us a card and a gift. All three of the producers had signed the card with statements that will forever be cherished by our family. And again…we cried. What will happen with our 40 minutes of fame? To the rest of the world it will be episode 207 of World’s Strictest Parents, but for us it will be the moment in time when God chose to intersect the lives of twenty people who will forever be altered by the pure and holy presence of His grace and love.
His amazing grace! www.pointemag.org w ww.pointemagg.org { 29
Good Friends = a Better You — Toia Thompson
It’s been said that “an apple a day keeps the doctor away.” And the same can be said about your friends.
H
aving great friends is about getting connected and doing The proven physical value of friendship shows that friends help you life together. Once I decided to step out of my comfort live longer, prevent common colds, age slowly, battle depression, zone, I was able to meet wonderful people. Through fight illness, and encourage you to make healthy choices. Friends Bible study, choir, weekly church service, and other also help us do life so much easier – emotionally planned events, I now have some very dear friends. and spiritually. We all need friends in our lives Friends help you We go to the movies, have dinner or lunch together, because God created us as relational beings. live longer, prevent celebrate each other’s birthdays and find reasons to common colds, get together to just hang out! So this year, take the initiative, allow yourself to be age slowly, battle a little vulnerable, and invite others into your life. depression, fight illness, Intentionally try to get connected by participating Good friends equal a healthier you. Numerous and encourage you to at your local church, volunteer organizations, or researchers have studied the effects of friendships on women’s health. One of these studies, The Nurses’ make healthy choices. community events. Invite people to your home to Health Study from Harvard Medical School, stated share a meal, play games, or to just simply enjoy that women with close friends not only led a happier, joyful life, talking over a cup of coffee. Here’s to a healthy you and more they developed less physical issues as they aged. The study also friends in 2011! found that close friendships were so important to our overall health, that not having them was detrimental to us.
We are better together!
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GREEN BEANS
EDAMAME
Protein: 1.8g Carbs: 7.1g Fat: 0.1g Fiber: 3.4g
Protein: 12g Carbs: 11g Fat: 6g Fiber: 4.2g
CUCUMBER
COLLARDS Protein: 2g Carbs: 5g Fat: 0.4g Fiber: 3g
Protein: 0.7g Carbs: 3.6g Fat: 0.1g Fiber: 0.5g
think
(nutrition per 3.5 oz. serving, raw)
BROCCOLI
green
Protein: 2.8g Carbs: 6.6g Fat: 0.4g Fiber: 2.6g
AVOCADO
ASPARAGUS
Protein: 2g / Carbs: 8.5g / Fat: 14.7g Fiber: 6.6g
Protein: 2.2g / Carbs: 3.9g Fat: 0.2g Fiber: 2.1g
SPINACH Protein: 2.8g / Carbs: 3.6g Fat: 0.4g Fiber: 2.2g
GreenTea is made from unfermented leaves and reportedly contains the highest concentration of powerful antioxidants called polyphenols. Antioxidants are substances that scavenge free radicals - damaging compounds in the body that alter cells, tamper with DNA, and even cause cell death. Free radicals occur naturally in the body, but environmental toxins (including ultraviolet rays from the sun, radiation, cigarette smoke, and air pollution) also give rise to these damaging particles. Many scientists believe that free radicals contribute to the aging process, as well as the development of a number of health problems, including cancer and heart disease. Antioxidants, such as polyphenols in green tea, can neutralize free radicals and may reduce or even help prevent some of the damage they cause.
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BUTTERNUT SQUASH SOUP
GRILLED POLENTA WITH TOMATOES AND WHITE BEANS
INGREDIENTS 3 2 1 1½ ⅛ ⅛ ¼ 1
lbs butternut squash, peeled, seeded and cut into 1” cubes medium onions, peeled and quartered (29 oz) can chicken broth teaspoon curry powder teaspoon salt teaspoon pepper cup fat free sour cream, for garnish medium scallion, thinly sliced, for garnish
PREPARATION 1. 2.
3.
Preheat oven to 425. Place squash, onion & broth in baking dish. Cook for one hour uncovered, stirring occasionally. Remove from oven and cool 15 minutes. Puree in a small batches in a blender or food processor. In a skillet, toast curry powder on low for about 2 minutes, be careful not to burn. Stir in soup and garnish with sour cream and scallions. Makes 6 servings, 3/4 cup each.
SPAGHETTI WITH ZUCCHINI AND WHITE BEANS
1 2 2 2 1 1½ ¼ 1 ½
(17 oz) tube basil & garlic polenta, cut into 9 slices tsps. olive oil cups halved grape tomatoes garlic cloves, minced tablespoon white wine vinegar teaspoon chopped fresh rosemary (or cilantro) teaspoon freshly ground black pepper (15 oz) can cannellini beans, rinsed and drained cup grated fresh Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese
PREPARATION 1.
2.
3.
INGREDIENTS 6 3 ⅓ 1 ¼ ⅛ 1 1 ½
INGREDIENTS
Coat polenta slices with cooking spray and grill in sprayed pan for 2 minutes on each side or until golden brown. Remove from pan. Heat 2 teaspoons olive oil in large non-stick skillet. Add tomatoes and garlic; sauté for 4 minutes or until soft. Reduce heat. Stir in vinegar and next 3 ingredients (through beans). Cook for 2 minutes until thoroughly heated, stirring constantly. Place polenta on serving dish. Spoon tomato mixture over polenta; sprinkle with cheese.
oz uncooked spaghetti (or spaghetti squash) cups diced zucchini cup water tablespoon tomato paste teaspoon kosher salt teaspoon coarsely ground black pepper (15.8 oz) can Great Northern beans, rinsed and drained (14.5 oz) can diced tomatoes, undrained (or fresh tomatoes) cup crumbled feta cheese
PREPARATION 1. 2.
3.
Cook spaghetti according to directions. Lightly brown zucchini in sprayed pan. Stir in water and next five ingredients (through tomatoes). Cover and simmer 3-5 minutes. Place pasta on serving plate. Top with zucchini mixture and feta cheese.
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Light
Healthy Substitutions
ORIGINAL RECIPE BAKED POTATO SOUP
HEALTHY RECIPE SUBSTITUTIONS
INGREDIENTS 6
large Russet potatoes, peeled and cut into cubes 1 large onion, chopped 3 (14 ounce) cans chicken broth with roasted garlic ¼ cup butter 2½ teaspoons salt 1¼ teaspoons ground pepper
1 1 3 1 4
cup whipping cream or half-and-half cup shredded Cheddar cheese tablespoons chopped chives container sour cream (optional) bacon slices, crumbled Shredded Cheddar cheese
PREPARATION 1. 2.
3.
Combine first 6 ingredients in 5-quart slow cooker. Cover; cook on high 4 hours or on low 8 hours until potatoes are tender. Mash mixture until potatoes are coarsely chopped and soup is slightly thickened; add cream, cheese and chives. Stir and heat thoroughly. Top with sour cream, if desired, and sprinkle with bacon and Cheddar cheese before serving.
• 97% fat free chicken broth for regular chicken broth 1 cup regular chicken broth = 40 calories, 1g fat 1 cup fat free chicken broth = 4.8 calories, 0.2g fat • light cream or fat free half & half for whipping cream 1 tablespoon heavy cream = 52 calories, 6g fat 1 tablespoon fat free half & half = 20 calories, 0g fat • low fat or fat free shredded cheese for real cheddar ¼ cup regular cheese = 80 calories, 6g fat ¼ cup fat free cheese = 45 calories, 0g fat • low fat or fat free sour cream instead of real sour cream 2 tablespoons regular sour cream = 60 calories, 5g fat 2 tablespoons fat free sour cream = 30 calories, 0g fat • turkey bacon for real bacon 4 slices real bacon = 120 calories, 6g fat 1 slice turkey bacon = 35 calories, 3g fat These simple substitutions can cut the calories of the original recipe up to one-half and reduce the fat grams by almost two-thirds without disrupting taste. d g the taste
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one more tour with Honor —Cindy Van Horn
In 2004, a World War II memorial for our nation’s most senior heroes was dedicated; however, now in their 80’s and 90’s, a number of these veterans have no means to visit it. The HONOR FLIGHT NETWORK began as a small token of appreciation to get World War II Veterans out to visit THEIR memorial in Washington, D.C. The entire flight and subsequent bus tour are completely free to members of “THE GREATEST GENERATION.”
bag pipers and even a military honor guard, gathered to cheer, applaud and welcome these former soldiers home once again. With the first notes signaling their entrance into the airport, the crowd lined both sides of the aisle. As the veterans walked through the airport, people in the crowd stepped forward to shake their hands, personally thanking them for their service. Seeing our aged heroes being celebrated was quite a sight. I wasn’t prepared either time for the overwhelming sense of gratitude, honor and compassion that welled up in me while cheering for these veterans, most in their 80’s and some with obvious health issues.
Twice now my husband and I have attended a “heroes’ welcome” celebrating a group of World War II veterans. Thanks to a nonprofit organization, Honor Flight Network, veterans all over the country are flown to Washington, D.C. to visit their memorials. These day-long trips are totally free for the veterans in recognition of their service to our country.
Watching the crowd, we were touched by the sight of a mother and her two young boys (who were not related to any of the returning fathers/grandfathers). They waved American flags and a homemade sign with excitement and energy that comes only from young boys. What an awe-inspiring event to witness for all generations!
On both occasions, we were deeply moved to witness the return of these men and women to the airport. When the aircraft taxied to the terminal, fire trucks shot streams of water over the plane in salute to them. Inside the airport, a large group of family members, ROTC and Boy Scout troops in full uniform,
Honor Flight Network is a fairly young organization – created in 2005 by a physician’s assistant/retired Air Force captain. He wanted to honor his patients, World War II veterans, with a trip to visit the recently completed WWII Memorial in Washington, D.C. He presented his plan to fellow pilots.
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“
No person was ever honored for what he received. Honor has been the reward for what he gave.” - Calvin Coolidge
The conditions: 1) the cost would be absorbed totally by the pilots and 2) they would personally escort the veterans to the memorial. In May 2005, the first trip was made with six small planes carrying twelve veterans. The program has grown and now uses commercial flights. In some areas, entire commercial jets are chartered to fly local veterans to the memorial. All expenses, including meals and bus transportation, are covered by corporate sponsors and donations from individuals. Since its inception, HFN has transported more than 40,000 veterans at no cost to them. These flights are manned by volunteers, including a full medical staff, to escort, care for and serve our heroes. Currently, HFN is focusing on World War II veterans and terminally ill veterans but in the future will also honor Korean War and Vietnam War veterans, followed by veterans of more current wars. Our veterans aren’t asking for recognition but they deserve it. Our 40th president Calvin Coolidge expressed it well, “No person was ever honored for what he received. Honor has been the reward for what he gave.”
We received this note from a friend after he met a returning Honor Flight in October 2010: “This was a VERY humbling experience! I talked to and shook hands with as many of these people as I could. I shook one guy’s hand and thanked him. I told him I had no words to express my gratitude to him for my freedom. He started to cry. I grabbed him and hugged him. His granddaughter apologized for him 'as he gets emotional.' Then she saw the tears in my eye, too, and smiled. Another man told me of being a POW. He asked me to never forget how precious my freedom was. I had and have no words. I hope my offered hand and the look in my eyes said what I had no words for. They really are the greatest generation.” There are local chapters throughout both North and South Carolina. For more information on the next flight in Spring 2011, or to find out how to apply, volunteer or donate, visit the local chapter’s website. Honor Flight of SC - www.honorflightsc.com Honor Flight Upstate SC - www.honorflightupstatesc.com Honor Flight Lowcountry - www.honorflightlowcountry.com Honor Flight Southeastern NC - www.honorflightsenc.org
How many veterans have been flown on Honor Flights? In 2005, 137 veterans In 2006, 891 veterans In 2007, over 5,000 veterans In 2008, 11,137 veterans In 2009, 17,832 veterans
www.pointemag.org { 35
You Gotta —Keith Brown
Believe
Some research says that anywhere from 93-96% of the population who sign on for a 12-week fitness challenge will NOT finish, mostly because of the drive that wanes as the journey becomes more challenging. We humans tend to take the path of least resistance. It’s easier to slack off rather than push through the paths not yet forged. I say to you now that we have the fortitude to beat the odds. I believe there is within us all, the potential to be great…a potential that is beyond our own imagination…abilities within each of us that would astound us, if we tapped into and developed them. Who can make a difference? You can make a difference, not only for yourself, but for every person that you come in contact with over the next few weeks and months. You see, as you begin to lose weight, to shape up, to regain that little spring in your step, people will begin to ask you, “What in the world are you doing? You look great!” This is a natural “door opener” for conversations with people. But before you can actually make a lasting change, you have to sit down and have a serious talk with yourself. You are going to have to reach down deep inside and ask yourself some hard questions. Questions like: Am I doing this wholeheartedly? Am I leaning on God to help guide me through this process? Even though I know it will get tougher as I climb this mountain, am I willing to follow the path all the way to the pinnacle? Once you’re there, can you see yourself being a light that shines, a beacon of hope, for those who will come after you? Those that learn to cope with the pressures, pre-plan meals, handle the cravings, and forge ahead will make a lifestyle change with the strength of the Lord and a new belief in themselves. Here are a few things that will help you succeed in accomplishing your fitness goals: 1) write down your goals, 2) have a support group and interact with others regularly, 3) do some research and get with someone that can help you design a good fitness and eating plan that meets your needs. Here’s the bottom line: There is a world of difference between knowing what to do and actually doing it. You want to be prepared and have the “know how” to put with the “drive” to successfully finish your journey. See yourself as someone who will take your “success story” and use it to help someone else make a change to improve their llife. ife. if ife e.
Don’t you deserve to make your goals and dreams a reality? ty?
“ Yes, you do! ”
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I learned... IN 2010
You leave a lot of room for God to show up when you don’t have all the answers.
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For details call (843) 795-4FUN (4386) or www.pointemag.org { 37 purchase online at www.ccprc.com/GOnline.
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