Style: Dating 1986 By Lynn Campbell.

STYLE

DATIN .1986

Melanie,24,overflowswithenthusiasm for her new job and her new city. She exchanged aerobics for matchmaking, Boston for Portland last January with no regrets. A perky brunette with Pollyanna· eyes, she moves through her small New Beginnings office at 723 Congress Street with a dancer's energy and agility. She loves to talk. And, as boss Greg Johnson observed when he hired her. "Her thermostat's turned way up." Leo Buscaglia would approve. "People are tired of the typical singles scene and the superficial attitudes they find in bars," says Melanie. "Plus, you can spend a lot of time and money finding people who are not compatible with you. A dating service can eliminate all that. "Ten years ago, using a dating service would have been a last resort, but not anYmore." Today, people talk openly about their membership, she says, "as'long as the service is supportive, positive, personal, and open."

Melanie reports that most ·of their 275 members are between 25 and 38 years old, most are career-oriented, and most are male, although that varies. Members come to the office for an interview, fill out a questionnaire, and are rewarded with dates and lots of TLC.

Obviously, the system concentrates on compatibility; but opposites do attract, she says, as long as personal goals, intellect, and certain environmental factors, including religion, smoking, and drinking patterns, are similar.

And how much does all this cost? There are three membership packages: 3 months for$50; 6 months for$150; and 12 months for $300. "I don't believe people need to pay astronomical fees for help with their personal lives," she shrugs. "I think our figures are reasonable."

Even reasonable fees add up fast. Within the next fiveyears, she projects, New Beginnings will gross over $80,000 per year. "The market's definitely there," she says. "I can feel the rumble."

Or is that crumble? During the past three years, three dating services opened and six closed in Maine alone. "Eighty percent of all new dating services close within a year." That sobering statistic is offered by Tammy Townsend, manager of Together, Inc., a Boston-based dating service that has successfully passed that milestone 13 times. Twice in Portland.

noother survivors, Matchmaker and Dateline, represent two extreme examples of the dating/ mating matrix. "My mother won a free membership in Matchmaker and gave it to me," recalls Jackie Smith, 33, of Sydney, Maine. "I really didn't think it would work, but it sure beat being in a bar, watching my girlfriends dance." One month and three dates later, she met her husband, Harold. "It was instant 'want -to-be-with-you'," she grins.

Jackie and Harold represent one of at least four such success stories each month for Matchmaker, the Waterville "'Bob was my first date, and we were so compatible it was uncanny. We even had the same dining room furniture!' They also had the same zip code (04363) ... "

BY LYNN CAMPBEll

"New Beginnings has 3 membership packages: 3 months for $50; 6 months for $150; and 12 months for $300."

UDavejoined a number of clubs and dating services, covering 14,000 miles in four months in his search for companionship. if was hunting,' he sighs, iand I was tired of it.'"

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computer dating service owned and operated by coffee table counselor and connubial consort Lin Olcott.

Gail, a 33-year-old registered nurse, admitted that she didn't think a dating service would work, either. "I used to think only losers go to a dating service," she says, "but not anymore. Bob was my first date, and we were so compatible it was uncanny. We even had the same dining room furniture!"

They also shared the same zip code. (04363). "We lived five miles apart," Gail says incredulously, "but our paths wouldn't have crossed any other way."

Dave's re-entry into the dating sphere came after his wife's death four years ago. He was a "package deal," he says wryly; a 52-year-old widower with five children. "I didn't know where to go or what to do. The bar scene and one•night flings were just not my thing." He joined a number of clubs and dating services, covering 14,000 miles in four months in his search for companionship. "I was hunting," he sighs, "and I was tired of it."

Finally, Dave joined Matchmaker. Lin matched him with Sue Dearborn, a divorced mother of six who lived one mile down the road from him. "As soon as Lin mentioned Sue's name, I started smiling," Dave recalls. "I'd known Sue for three years." Now they're engaged.

Together is the Mary Kay of the dating business. With more than 100offices in 13states, thousands of members (1,700 in Maine alone ), pep talks monthly, workshops and seminars quarterly, sales quotas, and incentives, Together is fast cornering a growing segment of the national dating market. "We've been the most active dating service in the state," Tammy notes. "I like to take credit for that." Indeed, the blonde, blue-eyed part -time model won special recognition last December for attracting record numbers of new members to her branch of the 16-office New England network.

The success of dating services in the 1980s, she says, is due to three factors: the increasing demands and limited social contact of the workplace, the superficiality of the bar scene, and a new, analytical attitude.

"We're becoming more of a serviceoriented society," she observes. "If your sink leaks, you call a plumber. If you need a date, you call a dating . servIce. "

Well,almost. "There's still a lot of stereotyping," she admits. The couples who have met and married through Together "don't want to talk about it. It's like going to the doctor-you don't want people to know."

Tammy's clients range in age from 20 to 90, hail from Bangor to York, and represent an equal opportunity mixture of races, creeds, and physical attributes. But all need a common financial baseline to afford her service. Annual fees stretch from $300 to $900, depending on the number of dates contracted. "I usuallyr~commend 12dates per client for the best results," she says. That's the $650 package. And there are no refunds. "You get what you pay for," she reasons. "Our fees may seem exorbitant, but they are useful in controlling the membership." In a sense, they are part of the screening process that attracts and holds her largely professional clientele.

And what are all these single professionals looking for? "I think everyone, down deep, is looking for marriage," Tammy says. "On the average, they value sincerity, honesty, and trustworthiness more than physical attributes. Most people are looking for a person."

"Most men like the idea of meeting professional women," she continues. Within reason. "They say, Be independent, but save time for me." Most women want independent men who are also romantic. "That's a good blend," she adds, and a good dating service can supply it. "So why waste time?"

Lin Olcott couldn't agree more. Thoughtful, witty, sincere, warm, Lin is a classic 'People person.' And she makes it perfectly clear that Matchmaker is more than a business or nickname; it is a mission. From her cozy kitchen and den-turned-office, she wages a very personal war against what she regards as the social scourge of the 1980s: loneliness. "Loneliness is a very serious social problem," she says, pointing to accelerated career pressures, a 60-percent national divorce rate, and a growing fear of intimacy as contributing factors. The. figures back her up. According to the 1980 census report, there are approximately 84,000 single adults in Maine; that's a 68-percent increase over the 57,000 reported in 1970. In Portland alone, there are 8,000 singles between the ages of 25-34.

Lin, 45 and divorced herself, emphasizes that "Dating and marriage are alive and well. The emotional needs to belong-to be accepted and lovedhave not changed; but the ways we go about meeting those needs, the carefulness of our choices, have definitely changed." Five thousand Maine singles say that Matchmaker is one way to hedge those bets.

Basically, the Matchmaker system works like this: New members (over 18 and unmarried) answer a professionally designed 2oo-point questionnaire concemingtheir backgounds, interests, values, and dating desires; then pay a $25 lifetime membership fee to join. Completed questionnaires are programmed into a Commodore PET 2001 at the rate of 7 to 11per day, where they mingle with nearly 2,000 other active files. (Over 3,000 are "on hold" with steady dates.) Twice a week, Lin sits down to her keyboard, enters Cupid's combination, and watches up to 25 brand new matches roll off.

H

er formula works. Linmade her first match in 1981;thisyear,sheplans to expand nationally through two franchised services: Matchmates, Inc. and the more casual Dial-A-Date. Flagship offices are scheduled to open in New Hampshire and Vermont within the next six months. *(In sharp contrast to the expanding Matchmaker, Dateline began as a national dating service with 9 regional offices and over 20,000 members. Interested singles dial a toll-free telephone number, then receive an application form by mail. The service is inexpensive-$60 per year guarantees 12-80matches-and impersonal. There is no consultation and no follow-up).

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"There are approximately 84,000 single adults in Maine; that's a 68-percent increase over the 57,000 reported in 1970. In Portland alone, there are 8,000 singles between the ages of 25-34. "

Lynn Campbell lives in Scarborough. She is a Maine correspondent for USAToday.