Last Word

Planning for no regrets:

is a very

Does it bring me joy? Does it make me happy? As I prepare to embark on the last one third of my life, I find myself asking these two questions more often because the time I have left is passing far too quickly.

I also don’t want to look back on my life and think if only I’d done this or that.

A lot has changed in the last few years. I’m older and hopefully wiser. My children, now young adults, don’t need me in the same way they once did, and I can shift my focus from their needs and wants to my own.

I’m not checking out; I’m just changing gears. I’m letting go of some things so there’s room for me to experience something different. I’m looking at being reassigned by life and my story, but in the way I want.

This month I will turn 60. If I follow in the same genetic footsteps of my mum and dad, who are 92 and 93 years of age, I will be entering the last onethird of my life. If I don’t, well, I guess I began writing the final chapters of my life some time ago.

Age can make you look inwards. I remember taking a hard look at my life as I neared my 40th birth-

day. Now, as I try to figure out my next 30 years, I feel like I’m staring down The Beginning of The End. How do I want to set myself up? What do I really want? What are my plans? Goals? Where do I want to live? What do I hope to achieve before I reach what my 92-year-old father refers to as my ‘best before date’? The first two-thirds of my journey have been interesting and fulfilling. Lots of good bits, learning, challenges, love, and broken hearts. That’s life, isn’t it? With more time behind me than ahead of me, I have one last chance to do what I really want to do if I want to live with no regrets. It’s time to stop sweating the small stuff. I feel nostalgic when I see lovely young women at the other end of the age spectrum. Their hair is brown or blonde or maybe even red; it’s glossy, healthy, and free of gray. Their skin is unwrinkled. No crow’s feet, no laughLAST ter lines, and no muffin tops from having had WORD babies. Instead of being envious, though, I rememISABELLE SOUTHCOTT ber what one of my best friends used to say: “I was hot once - now it’s their turn.” She is right. We all have a turn; there is a season for everyone and everything. I don’t believe that 60 is the new 40 and that age is merely a number on your driver’s license. I do believe my priorities have changed and so have I. What appealed to me in my 20s – late night-parties, skydiving, marathons, backpacking across Europe – doesn’t interest me now. I’ve been there, done that. The world has changed since I was born in 1962 and I’ve changed along with it. A person who turned 60 in 1970 could expect to retire at age 64 and live to age 70.8. Someone who turned 60 in 2010, on the other hand, could very easily work throughout their entire 60’s and expect to live to at least 78.7 years old. With advances in medicine, lower rates of smoking and generally healthier lifestyles, our active and productive years can expand well into our 70’s and beyond. How we choose to use this “extra” time is up to us. I’ve lived half my life on the east coast and half on the west coast. Because of this, I feel pulled in both directions. East and West. Sunrise and Sunset. But Canada, always Canada. When I think about my next chapter, I see Nova Scotia Duck Tolling Retrievers and East West Duck Tollers, my kennel name, in my mind. Those who know me, know how passionate I am about this rare Canadian breed of dog that has been part of my life since I was a child. I see pudgy puppies, family, grandchildren, friends, writing, travel, adventure and two homes – British Columbia and Nova Scotia – in my future. I also see joy and happiness. Some of the things I did in the past didn’t bring me joy and happiness but I did them out of a sense of duty, I did them because I thought I should. Those days are behind me, my sixties will be my time – my time for joy and happiness. My map is still incomplete. Like me, it’s a work in progress, but it does have some major signposts along the way and opportunities for new, unexpected adventures to get me where I’m going as I prepare to join the 60s and begin my last one third.