Ready to dive back into the crowd?

Texada Sandcastle Weekend August 13 & 14

August is festival month

BY ISABELLE SOUTHCOTT

It’s good to be together again.

How wonderful it will be to attend Blackberry Festival’s street party and mix and mingle with people we haven’t seen in ages when we walk up and down Marine Avenue on August 19!

Finally, after two long years of not being able to gather, we can get together with masses of friends, neighbours and meet newcomers to this community. Nothing could be better. Right? For some, yes, but for others, yes and no. Yes, they want to see people again, but the thought of getting together en masse after being told for so long that social gatherings aren’t safe, is causing them discomfort and social anxiety.

When they think of attending one of qathet’s signature events, like Blackberry Festival or the Sunshine Music Festival, they feel anxious – really, really, anxious. So anxious that they may just stay home.

When the COVID-19 pandemic hit, staying at home and limiting social interactions became key tools in the fight against the spread of the virus. We got used to a new way of living, we got used to social distancing, to wearing masks, to staying home, as social gatherings were cancelled and large get-togethers were deemed too risky.

Skim Jam August 13

“Our society and government did a good job getting us to take seriously the need to stay safe and keep others safe during the last two-plus years of the COVID lock downs,” said Powell River’s Rick Berghauser, a certified counsellor with the Canadian Counselling and Psychotherapy Association. “We were told that social contact was dangerous and that it was selfish to be in close contact with others, so why are we surprised that when many of these precautions are lifted, we feel afraid and anxious to re-engage like we used to?”

As more people got vaccinated and infection rates slowed, restrictions loosened. Many people were thrilled to be able to reconnect with family and friends, but at the same time, they felt worried and anxious.

Rick says we need to cut ourselves some slack and recognize that this new social anxiety is not necessarily a disorder, but more accurately is a natural consequence of fear and new learning that has taken place about what we believe it takes to be safe.

This summer large gatherings are once-again taking place throughout qathet. Weddings, concerts, awards celebrations. In July we had PRISMA, Canada Day Celebrations, Townsite Days and more. This month we have Blackberry Festival with the popular street party, the Sunshine Music Festival, the qathet Studio Tour, and the Powtown Shakedown Music Festival.

Meriko Kubota, qathet’s Regional Social Planner, thinks the pandemic impacted us the most through social isolation and separation. “We are not out of the pandemic, and the issue of social isolation and separation remains critical,” she says. “I would argue that it has always been critical, and I have come to learn that social isolation is very harmful to our wellbeing and limits our ability to thrive.”

Research has also shown that the longer one stays in isolation or disconnection from others, the harder it is to re-connect and join in community events, gatherings, and general outings, she added.

Both Meriko and Rick say it is important to be kind as we re-emerge.

“We must remain kind in supporting our continued journey through COVID-19,” says Meriko. “Check in with yourself regarding your own comfort levels and consider that it may be difficult to ask for the boundaries you need to feel safe.”

Blackberry Fireworks August 19

If you are a host or facilitator of an event, be generous by continuing to offer space for distancing and by creating a foundation of awareness and welcomeness for those to remain masked if they choose to do so. “The more we offer these options, the more we limit the risk of ostracizing others,” she added.

Rick says it’s time to replace the mantra of fear with a new message of loving kindness and it needs to start with ourselves.

In addition to concerns about health and safety, people with social anxiety are likely to be worried that their social skills are rusty and about doing things right – messing up social norms by making a misstep or not knowing what to do.

“Our inner critic is alive and well in the minds of most of us and loves to message us with thoughts of “what if” as we re-enter social events,” says Rick. “What if people notice my discomfort and feel awkward around me? What if I don’t know what to say or cut them off and speak over them? What if I get too close and make someone feel unsafe or if they get too close and make me feel unsafe?”

Sunshine Music Fest September 3 & 4

In re-entry, these sorts of negative thoughts are natural and need to be noticed and acknowledged. “Before we venture into the many social events that are once again being planned, we need to acknowledge our worries and replace them with thoughts of kindness towards ourselves. Focus on telling yourself that some re-entry anxiety is normal, and you will feel safer and more comfortable in time with practice,” says Rick.

As other people also navigate re-entry, extend to them the same loving kindness and patience you are wanting to offer yourself. Others around us may come across as awkward and overly serious at first. They may reject our offer of a handshake or a hug. They may ask us to take a step back. We will need to choose to look for the best in each other and resist the temptation to become offended, he says.

When in social situations, take a breath before speaking. This is a great way to not interrupt others or nervously say something we later regret. This can slow things down and brings a sense of peace to engaging together.

As we re-enter social interactions and events, such as Blackberry Festival, that so many of us have missed and longed for, let’s remember to be kind to ourselves and repeat the loving messages we all need to counter our fear and anxiety.