Be your own BFF

RETURN TO REVERENCE

JULIETTE JARVIS

Twenty-ish years ago, I bought a Friendship Ring. Do you know the kind? Inexpensive, thin silver tied into an overhand knot? If you were fortunate, a friend might give you one in recognition of “best friend” status invoking the unending nature of continuous loop knot magic.

At the time, I had just moved through a rough patch in life requiring things like dissolving a relationship, moving back to my hometown, setting up a new apartment, solo parenting, and starting a new job in a new career as remedies in recovering my wellbeing.

I remember wondering to myself how I had come to that situation where I felt so far from my true nature, and promised myself to not disregard my own needs to such an extent again.

To solidify this personal vow and give myself a constant reminder, I bought myself that friendship ring and declared to “Be my own best friend.”

Don’t get me wrong, I had some excellent friends and even a few besties (some might even be reading this!) but I hadn’t treated myself as I would treat a friend. At the time, I believed sacrificing myself, my needs, wants, and goals to support others was noble. That their success and happiness made my losses worthy. This sort of thinking had co-created the situations I was recovering from.

I wore that ring for a good ten years. Many times over it reminded me to be kinder to myself, to consider what advice I would offer a best friend and then follow it, to do fun things and cultivate a relationship with myself just as I would with a friend, to make decisions in alignment with my hopes and goals as best as I could.

When I found myself in situations that had turned out poorly after all, or had returned to the habit of giving up too much for others, that ring would gently remind me to not beat myself up about it and try again for better.

When my eldest moved into their teen years, I gifted them my ring in hopes they too would treat themselves as one would treat a best friend.

We all know how those years can be! They kept it on until the band wore right through and became unwearable. I had bought myself a Claddagh ring as a replacement, with a heart for love, a crown for loyalty, and two hands for friendship; a traditional betrothal ring from my heritage. When my youngest moved into their teen years, I passed it on too. Today I pass this story on to You, dear reader, with invitation to treat yourself as you would a best friend.

Juliette Jarvis offers sacred living programs online, devotional arts, and divination sessions. Find her at SelkieSanctuary.com and 3FoldBalance.com.