Powerful Women of the Gulf Coast: the Magazine by Powerful Women of the Gulf Coast

Powerful Women of the Gulf Coast

the Magazine

October 2015 Vol 1, Ed 2

PowerfulWomenGulfCoast.com

October 2015

Pensacola’s Premier 3rd Annual Women-Only Business Conference Celebrating National Business Women’s Week

Presented by:

CONFERENCE

Registration

$65

through Oct 4

$75 through Oct 15 $100 at the door

Sanders Beach Community Center

Friday, October 16th

11am-5:30pm

With Keynote Speaker

Robyn Hatcher

How To Raise Your Communication Game 15 minute segments of power-packed professional enhancement

Experience Hall

Featuring 4 local business leaders

Networking Exercises Education for Business Women After-hours Social

PLUS:

Power Breakfast - Tuesday, Oct 13th Meet the Speakers Social - Thursday, Oct 15th *These two events open to men and women*

With Emcee

Dr. Lusharon Wiley

University of West Florida

80% of profits benefit Gulf Coast Kid’s House Sponsors include: October 2015

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For more information and to register: www.PowerfulWomenGulfCoast.com

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October 2015

Powerful Women of the Gulf Coast - P.O. Box 1125 Pensacola, FL 32591 (P) 850-529-0908 www.powerfulwomengulfcoast.com email to: Directors@powerfulwomengulfcoast.com

On the cover: Dr. Lusharon Wiley and Stacey Kostevicki photographed by Kim Hannan

In This Edition Passion, Hard Work, Integrity

Unthinkable: But True

Spurred on by life’s diffi-

Sheri Raley has faced the

fey aspires to successes by combining these three traits that have proven reliable tools.

face and won by combining these three traits that have proven reliable tools.

14 culties, Dr. Teresa Mahaf- 28 demon of cancer in the

Non-traditional Business Woman Facing the challenges

20 of long military deploy-

ments, stay-at-home mom Sally Alander runs her ventures from the kitchen but in a no-nonsense fashion.

The Call To Mentor 24

Don’t miss the opportunity, advises JJ Waters, of Guy Harvey Magazine.

October 2015

Wellness for the Professional Woman

Dr Lusharon Wiley’s mindset aligns her for happiness and success

10 Re-thinking New Hire Strategies 16

Your Personal Brand

Women and Finances

A Partnership For Good: PWGC and Gulf Coast Kid’s House

26 The Art of the Business Lunch 29

The Game of Referrals

32 Stacey Kostevicki applies her success to the cause of child advocacy. 36 Work It Out At Work: Fitness 38

Is Your Feedback A Little Backwards?

Big Strides In A MaleDominated Industry

Magazine Team Editor: Kolleen Edwards Chesley Art Director & Photographer: Kim Hannan Business Manager: Elizabeth Nims Ad Executives: Jennifer Harrison Michele Kobielnik Elizabeth Nims Other Contributors: Quint Studer Malcolm Ballinger Myra Van Hoose Meghan McCarthy Jen Peake Rachel Rowan LaDonna Spivey PowerfulWomenGulfCoast.com

Read Online All Year

Kolleen Edwards Chesley

Welcome to our second edition! We are glad you found us and are happy you are here! Many successful women are in the Gulf Coast area and it has been a pure joy to interview those featured in our first two editions. Finding successful women has not been difficult; in reality the hardest part has been narrowing my list of women to the handful that we feature in each edition. Quint Studer also reiterates this point in his quote in this edition. When interviewing these women, the question that starts the conversation is, “What is your definition of success?” I am amazed by their responses and the discussions that follow. The answers are as varied as the women themselves and each one is uniquely representative of their experience, background and style. In a future edition, you will see definitions of success from some of our PWGC meeting attendees and from you, our audience, and there too you will notice some very different definitions, all with unique twists. And, it turns out, our Gulf Coast women are not the only ones who each define success differently. Here are some others I found: • If you Google the “definition of success,” it comes back with 356 billion results. That is more than the definition of achievement, motivation, excellence or integrity. The only one with more search results that I could find is the “definition of love.” • Merriam-Webster says success is “the fact of getting or achieving wealth, respect, or fame.” • Arianna Huffington says beyond money or power, success consists of “well-being, wisdom, wonder, and giving.” • Maya Angelou said it’s all about liking, “liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.” • Deepak Chopra defines it as “the continued expansion of happiness and the progressive realization of worthy goals.” • Thomas Edison’s definition relates to his dedication to hard work when he says, “success is 1% inspiration, 99% perspiration.” I want to hear your thoughts. To share your “definition of success,” please email me at kolleen@powerfulwomengulfcoast.com. Your definition might be featured in a future edition!

Kolleen

Published for PWGC by Ballinger Publishing.

Every effort has been made to ensure the accuracy of the information contained within, however, PWGC is not responsible for any errors or omissions that might occur. PWGC does not endorse the advertisers and disclaims all liability for claims or damages that may result from transactions with PWGC, The Magazine advertisers or from the purchase or use of advertised products or services. No part of this publication may be reproduced in whole or part in any way without written permission from PWGC. PowerfulWomenGulfCoast.com

October 2015

Wellness

For the Professional Woman De-Stress For Success

by Meghan McCarthy, MPH, MBA It’s hard to be superwoman! According to the American Psychology Association, women are already reporting greater signs of stress than their male counterparts. Here is the thing about stress: it is not stress that is the enemy. The real wellness buster is CHRONIC stress. Think about your stress level as a scale of one to ten. You may have days, sometimes it’s every day, you hit ten on the scale but to avoid the long-term negative health impacts of chronic stress (high blood pressure, sleep issues, etc), you have to have some time each day that you get below a three on the scale. Here’s the medical rationale behind the one to ten scale: stress alerts the body to produce stress chemicals such as cortisol, which—if produced on an ongoing basis at high levels can begin to break down the body via immune, gastrointestinal, neurological, and musculoskeletal systems. When this happens, this can look and feel like pain, skin irritation and stomach discomfort. Remaining at a ten on the stress scale all day, every day is bad. October 2015

Women will find our lives greatly improved by bringing that stress level down to an acceptable level at least at some point throughout the day. Easier said than done, right? Everyone is different and it may take some trial and error but this is self-care at its most important. Following are some practical habits to help bring down your daily stress score. Even if you incorporate one of these daily habits, you will see results in your stress level and ultimately in your health. As with most things, consistency is the key. Journal to relieve stress. In 2006, the

Journal of the American Medical Association found that patients struggling with a chronic illness who wrote down their thoughts about stressful situations, actually experienced fewer physical symptoms than patients who did not journal. They followed patients with disease and asked them to write in a journal for 20 minutes, three days in a row. The group who wrote in journals showed a 50 percent improvement in their disease after four months. Who would have ever thought this simple act could have such an effect on health? That’s amazing!

According to the American Psychology Association:

Women are more likely than men (28% vs. 20%)

to report having a great deal of stress (8, 9 or 10 on a 10-point scale).

Women are more likely to report physical and

emotional symptoms of stress than men, such as having had a headache (41 % vs. 30 %), having

felt as though they could cry (44 % vs. 15 %), or having had an upset stomach or indigestion (32 % vs. 21 %) in the past month.

Almost half of all women (49 %) surveyed said

their stress has increased over the past five years, compared to four in 10 (39%) men.

I find it can be a helpful, controlled distraction to break up a negative thought cycle that we can sometimes get stuck in when we are stressed. It can be overwhelming to write something profound and thoughtful at the end of the day, especially if you are already stressed! I like one sentence journals. I also love five year journals so as the years pass you can look back and remind yourself, “This too shall pass.” My favorite is “Q and A a day: Five Year Journal.” This journal gives you a prompt like •

Today were you a caterPowerfulWomenGulfCoast.com

pillar or a butterfly? •

If you could travel anywhere tomorrow where would you go?

•

What feels really important right now?

Get better sleep. Stress and sleep can be a vicious cycle. Lack of sleep can make us think and move slower which results in less productivity. Stress alone can make anyone cranky but lack of sleep along with it can also make you irritable, hungrier and even more forgetful. That is a bad combination for making good decisions. Make the most of your sleep time. One hour before you want to be snoring, stop using technology, turn off all screens. Most of us are just bigger versions of our nine-year-old selves. Just like when we were little, we need to train our bodies with cues to know that it is bedtime. I

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take a hot bath or shower. That usually turns my brain off. I can still talk, read or write myself notes. If I am still wound up, I do one simple yoga move. It’s called “Legs up the Wall” pose. I’m not kidding. You put your legs up against a wall so that your torso and legs create a 90 degree angle. Google the image if you need a visual. It feels great on the back, helps you take deep breaths and signals to the other humans in your home that you are relaxing and for some reason it makes you sleepy. Ask yourself if you are a noise or quiet person. I like quiet but if the house or hotel room isn’t quiet, I have a Pandora station called “Sleepy Time Tunes.” It’s actually a children’s radio station but it plays acoustic versions of adult songs-like Faithfully by Journey. Seriously, its adult lullabies---Twinkle, Twinkle Little Rockstar and Rockabye Baby.

Eat clean and exercise. Of course you know I couldn’t end this without mentioning that eating clean and moving are also part of the prescription. Usually the times when it is the hardest is when your body needs it the most. These are great for general health but it’s interesting how these healthy habits can reduce stress as well. Overall, women need to pay particular attention to their stress levels. And as I said in the beginning, it’s not merely stress that is the danger, it’s chronic stress that’s the most destructive. Hopefully these tips above will give you some healthy habits to focus on to bring that stress level down so your stress doesn’t become chronic stress. *** Meghan McCarthy MPH, MBA is director of Community Health, Baptist Health Care, Pensacola, FL.

October 2015

Can

Mindfulness Success ? ALIGN US WITH

by Rachel Rowan as interviewed by Kolleen Edwards Chesley Photography by Kim Hannan

From the moment she wakes up every day, Dr. Lusharon Wiley is mindful of the ripple effect that her actions create. “I don’t roll out of bed, I jump out,” she said. The ripple effect, she said, is about “what we can do in the moment every day to stay positive, to stay engaged, to make a difference, and to not wallow in failure or things that we don’t do quite right.” “When you drop a drop of water, the ripple effect is that it keeps going and going and going,” she said. “Too often, we are not mindful of the words that we [say] and the actions that we take and how that can influence people in a positive way or become a stumbling block for them.” Lusharon’s work reflects her dedication to the idea that positive, intentional actions create impactful, unending ripples of good in the world. As the Senior Associate Dean of Students and Director of Case Management Services at the University of West Florida, Lusharon is responsible for fostering a culture of mindfulness on campus. Through programs like the Inclusion Spotlight and the Common Ground/SPLC on Campus, she encourages students, faculty and staff from all backgrounds to “seek to understand and to be understood” by sharing experiences and engaging in cross-cultural and cross-generational discussions. Her work emphasizes the importance of self-reflection, discussion, and the idea that conflicts can be resolved or prevented through mindful, intentional conversations that encourage honesty and sharing experiences. Helping others has been a passion and a common thread throughout Lusharon’s life. She grew up with four older and five younger October 2015

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siblings, and she learned about helping from watching her mother, whom she called the “neighborhood social worker.” When she came to UWF in 1993 with a background in social

That was a time when I said yes too often, she said, as women tend to do. But after that class, she cut back on her commitments. She said no to some opportunities, removed herself from boards and tried to be more intentional about what she wanted to do with her future.

services, she worked in a program that served low-income, first-generation college students. Those students were the first people in their families or households to go to college or to earn a degree.

“I learned the value of being able to say no, [which] helped maximize my time, my energy and my abilities in those ways that are better suited for me,” she said.

Since 2004, she has worked in student affairs in the Dean of Students office. Among other duties, she is the Ombudsperson, which she defines as the person who “surfaces

Lusharon encourages reflection about what you’ve learned from failure. She said it’s vital to ask for honest feedback from people whom you respect.

concerns, makes sure that the people who need to know, know, and then looks for ways to help resolve issues.”

“Accept everything that I am, and nothing that I am not,” she said.

“For the most part, the opportunity to engage people across differences,

This is an adaption of one of Lusharon’s favorite quotes from Patti LaBelle’s “Patti’s Pearls.”

to look for shared solutions, and to bring people to a place where they have not been before is a great op-

“It resonates with me because so many times people will say things, and some of those things are not very

portunity,” she said.

kind, and you know that it’s not you,” she said. “So

Lusharon defines success as “things that have come to be that make me

If you stop in to visit with feel happy inside.” The two profesLusharon she will inevitably sional successes that have made her ask if you have happiest are projects she established seen the school’s food pantry for at UWF: the Argo Pantry, which nutritionally chalprovides assistance to food-insecure lenged students. students, and the Inclusion Series This project is an initiative she Spotlight, which she created to protakes great vide a platform for local people “who pleasure in sponsoring have done fascinating things” to share

my point is, don’t lose time over that. Who are you? Determine who you are, and accept that and move forward.” Her advice to women in business is to stop being self-effacing. “Stop starting sentences in meetings with, ‘Well,

their experiences and what inclusion means to them with students and faculty.

I don’t know if anybody would agree with this, but I think’—no stop! No, we’re not going to agree because you’ve already told us you’re not worth agreeing with.”

“For me, as I move, I hope, toward self-actualization, I think success means that the life I have lived has been impactful, that I am willing to stretch to places that I have not thought of before, and that I can see someone smile at me and say, ‘I feel better because of you,’” she said.

Lusharon’s dedication to mindfulness drives her every day, and she encourages others to be mindful as well.

She looks at failure as “opportunities for improvement.” She had such an opportunity about eight years ago, when she was not well-prepared for a class she taught and it showed. The students weren’t happy with her, she said, and she wasn’t happy

“We always hear from the philosophers that we should know ourselves. So, I think, begin with self: examining self, improving self, learning, looking for opportunities for engagement, being authentic, and valuing others. Those are keys to success.”

with herself.

And every day, jump out of bed! ** PowerfulWomenGulfCoast.com

October 2015

Rethinking by Kim Hannan For years HR has been the bad-guy

New Hire Strategies for an excellent organization. As a result

department of any organization. For

of this expectations vs. reality conflict,

the applicant, it’s the bunch you have to

it’s not uncommon for HR professionals

be grilled and tortured by just to have a

to burn out and quickly become disillu-

chance at getting the job. For the aver-

sioned by the negative aspects of their

age employee, it’s where you go to get

work.

scolded or let go when you have ticked off the boss. For the manager, it’s the department that slaps you on the wrist when you have done something with or to the employees that will result in getting the organization sued.

The next step in the hiring process is to release the job posting with a clearly defined application deadline. Whether you find the ideal person on the first application that comes in or somewhere along

Many of these problems result from hir-

the way, keep the opportunity open for

ing paradigms of the corporation. The

the time specified. Then, when the right

long-standing mentality that “we can

person is found, who both fits the job

teach a monkey to do this” and cost cut-

description and pre-qualifications, and

ting pressures to shorten the hiring time

who you believe will meld well with the

table result in wrong selection for the

established team, make the offer.

The funny thing is, most HR profes-

new employees. Most HR professionals

sionals go into the business for totally

who assist in the new hire selections

different reasons. They start because

will advise an employer to start with a

they want to be the facilitator for putting

clearly written job description, including

the right person in the right place and

skills required and skills preferred for

watch them grow professionally and in-

the position being filled. Also, include

dividually, and to watch the organization

physical and time requirements. If a job

flourish because of excellent employee

requires a particular number of hours

selection. They want to be the solu-

on your feet, manipulating something

tion-finders for the management team

overhead, write that down. It will save

who don’t have time to look for team-re-

you tons of “unfair hiring” accusations

lations help. They have the privilege of

and seriously diminish the risk of letting

helping employees become aware of and

a new employee go early in their tenure,

manage all the fringe benefits of working

simply because they didn’t know they

October 2015

had to do task “X.”

Upon bringing them on the team, take a reasonable period of time to train them well, and make them familiar with the tools and resources they will need for their job. While a trainer will have to take time away from their own daily tasks for awhile, this time investment will pay you back quickly when you have a well-trained employee who remains enthusiastic about the job, and the outstanding team they find themselves serving with.

(continued on page 12) PowerfulWomenGulfCoast.com

PowerfulWomenGulfCoast.com

Inaugural Edition October - Spring 2015

Finally, set in place periodic perfor-

because we all should be growing and

between management and new hires,

mance evaluations. Notify the team members of pending appointments, and allow them the opportunity to participate in their personal work assessment, and goal setting for their personal and/ or professional growth. Be honest about weaknesses and cast them as opportunities for improvement. Remember, no one will ever be deserving of “all aces” in every aspect of their job performance,

never truly “arrive” at perfection. Clear-

and ensure long-standing loyalties of all

ly praise your team member for their

members of your businesses’ work team.

strengths, recognizing specific areas of

And never forget to consult your HR

excellent performance, improvements

professional about areas where you can

they have achieved, and challenge them

strengthen your leadership skills with

with new goals in the next assessment

your team, and ask for advice on those

period.

sticky areas that will inevitably come up.

Using these selection and retention techniques will build a strong relationship

These professionals are your secret to success as you navigate through the dayto-day management of your team. ***

Kim Hannan is the Talent Acquisition Manager for Chick-fil-A Nine Mile, and serves other small businesses in the Pensacola area as a staffing and personnel strategy consultant.

“It is so evident what talented women there are in the world and we are fortunate many live right here in Northwest Florida. The number of women presenting at and attending EntreCon is a great example of strong women leadership.” Quint Studer Founder of Studer Group & Owner of Pensacola Blue Wahoos

October 2015

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Keeping It Local The Pensacola Breast Cancer Association is a Pensacola, Florida-based 501(c)(3) non-profit organization established in 2003. The Board of Directors is made up of all uncompensated volunteers, which enables us to devote the maximum amount possible to achieving our exempt purpose. Since inception in 2003, the PBCA has raised and distributed approximately $170,000 to local healthcare organizations that are consistent with our mission. We are a local charity - All funds received stay here in the local community, to benefit our sisters, neighbors and friends.

Coming Events Ribbons of Hope: 7th Annual Charity Ball

Saturday, October 3 - 6:30-10:30 p.m. Tickets $40/ person $75/couple $280/table For Tickets: Lynda Cavener - 850-619-1269

1st Annual Halloween Festival

October 16-17, 23-24, 30th Adults $10/person/event or $15 for both the early and later events Children 12 and under $5

Thursday, October 22 - 6-9 p.m. Tickets $45/person For Tickets: register online at paintingwithatwist.com/pensacola or call: 850-471-1450

Paint It Pink

Haunted Hadji Costume Party

October 30-November 1 For more information on these and other events,: www.ThinkPinkPensacola.org

One Purpose. One Focus. The mission of the Pensacola Breast Cancer Association is to raise money for education, screening, and diagnosis of breast cancer in the Escambia County indigent and under-insured patient population.

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October AutumnAutumn 2015 2015

What’s got to do with it?

PASSION HARD WORK INTEGRITY

by Kolleen Edwards Chesley Photography by Kim Hannan

The second oldest of 11 children, Dr. Teresa Mahaffey knew she wanted to be a pediatrician at a very early age. “I had that calling and I knew it,” Teresa said. However, her path from child to successful practicing doctor was not smooth, sugar-coated or easy. “My father was physically abusive,” Teresa explained. “And he was also a very traditional guy and didn’t think women should be anything, much less doctors.” Her parents didn’t pay for any of her college; she had to do all of it on her own. “I was blessed to work for a surgeon in my hometown who went to Notre Dame, and he and his wife paid for my first two years there.” She said their relationship grew, and the surgeon and his wife quickly became like a second family to Teresa. “He was extremely compassionate and was a great role model for me. It took someone else to have faith in me to give me the confidence to move forward.” While working at the University of Chicago, she still daydreamed about being a doctor. “At the time, I had absolutely no confidence in my ability to go to med school, but I started meeting a lot of med students and thought, ‘I can do that.’ It was the toughest decision in my life.”

October 2015

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Four years later, after a lot of hard work, self-talk and

are women doctors with their own practices share the same

determination, she graduated at the top of her class from

struggles.”

the University of Illinois and was accepted into a residency

A must-have trait for any woman, according to Teresa, is

program in California. Teresa met her husband her first year

integrity.

of residency, and they have now been married 24 years.

“Being honest

“Everything just fell into place, like when you know you are

and having

in the right place.”

strong moral

At the birth of their first son, Teresa was dealt a blow of

principles” is

which she wasn’t prepared when he was diagnosed with

a requirement

autism.

for success, she said. Teresa also

“I was devastated; it was like a death,” Teresa recalls, “but

believes that

now, I can’t imagine him any other way.” Teresa was already

another requirement for success is a good work ethic.

focusing on pediatrics but her son’s experience led her to specialize in pediatric autism. She ended up being chosen

“There is no easy way around it; you have to work hard to

as Chief Resident and having another son before moving to

be successful. Take ownership, don’t make others do your

Guam.

work. You have to get out there and do it and you can’t be lazy. I start seeing patients at 8 a.m. and most days I’m up

“Guam was third world medicine. It was a great learning

till 10 at night doing charts. My phone never stops ringing. I

experience for me and helped me understand the value in

do give out my cellphone — much to my husband’s regret —

continuity with patients,” she said.

and I get texts at all hours of the day and night. I work hard

When she moved back to Pensacola, she had her daughter

because the rewards are great.”

and then accomplished her dream of starting her own prac-

Passion is also high the list of must-haves for successful

tice, which she built for 15 years before selling it to Sacred

women, Teresa said.

Heart last year.

“Without passion it is hard to get past the barriers. I started

“It was really hard to start my own practice. It was really hard

young with hardship and it taught me a lot on how to handle

leading staff members. Personnel management has been the

tough times. If kids today don’t face hardships, then they

most difficult part. Medicine was actually the easiest part.”

aren’t equipped to handle it later.” In her practice, Teresa measures her success by people whom she knows she has made a lasting effect on their lives. She talked about a recent story of a little girl with Down syndrome whose mother was starving her and almost killed her. Teresa worked with authorities to have the girl removed from that home and the mother was arrested. “That wonderful little girl just got adopted by her foster mom and is thriving, so that’s success to me.” Teresa defines her “ultimate success” as not from her being a doctor but the fact that “I’ve raised three really good kids,

“Results That Last, by Quint Studer, was a big influence for me,” Teresa said. “Quint was a mentor and the first chapter of his book is all about firing the people that aren’t helping your organization. As a female, you feel guilty. You’ve developed relationships with these people, and it’s hard to

and I’m still married and in love and I feel blessed by a God that is a forgiving God.” So, where does she put her passion now? Teresa said she feels another calling to help, and she plans to start the next phase

fire them. I really struggled here and my other friends that PowerfulWomenGulfCoast.com

(continued on bottom of page 22) October 2015

“Your Personal Brand” an excerpt from

by Susan Young printed with permission

“Regardless of age, regardless of position, regardless of the business we happen to

be in, all of us need to understand the importance of branding. We are CEOs of our own companies: Me, Inc. To be in business today, our most important job is to be head marketer for the brand called YOU!” ~Tom Peters in “The Brand Called You”

What is YOUR personal brand? How

We used to think of brand awareness as being the magic bullet

are you packaging your own unique

that would make or break a company and the success of its prod-

talents, style, and personality in a way that represents who you are

uct. However, the word “brand” has now taken an individualized

and how you show up to the world? How do you want others to

and highly personal shift toward how you are perceived in the

perceive you? Whether it is in the way you walk, talk, dress, or be-

minds of others.

have, your personal brand impacts how people react and respond

For companies to stand out in the marketplace, it is essential that

to you. It is the essence of what makes you likable, knowable, and

they create and project “brands” to be remarkable and memorable.

trustworthy.

Whether through a positioning statement, product placement,

It is no longer a matter of IF you have a personal brand--it is a

advertising campaign, service, a logo, mission, or message, their

question of “How is it working for you?” Does it best express your

brands are what make them remarkable . . . or not. A “brand”

intentions? Is it helping you in such a way that you make a great

becomes a company’s identifying uniqueness that differentiates it

first impression on people when they meet you, think of you,

in the eyes of the consumer and positions how it stacks up next to

speak of you, or even see you on the Internet? Is it helping or hin-

its competitors. It also shares with us what we can expect by doing

dering your progress and success in business? Does it serve your

business with them.

needs and make a positive impact? If not, it’s time to change that.

Is YOUR brand consistent with your desired outcomes? Whether

And it is perfectly within your control.

October 2015

you are in business or simply want to be remembered positively

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in the eyes of others, your personal brand has a huge influence on

their relationships, and increase their sales.

your success. What makes you feel special and significant? What

My life love, Daniel, is a Doctor of Chiropractic who is an

makes you unforgettable? When people see you or think of you,

old-fashioned gentleman with a bodybuilder’s physique. Though

what do they associate you with?

living in Wisconsin for the past 26 years, he has never lost his Mis-

The great news is that at any moment you have the ability and

sissippi dialect. When people meet him and receive his kindness,

power to move the needle in the direction of your dreams and

see his muscles, and hear that Southern twang, there is no doubt

create a brand that best represents you. You can re-design your

that his manners, muscles, and dialect make him memorable. He

life, learn a new skill, update your appearance, offer a new service,

definitely stands apart from the crowd! His brand evolved simply

or even change your attitude.

by his being himself. In his book, Purple Cow Mar-

Speaking consultant Lois Creamer (bookmorebusinessnow.com) has built her career teaching professional speakers how to promote their brands to optimize their business. She helps speakers craft and refine their “positioning statement,” which succinctly says, “Here’s who I am, what I do, and how I can help you.” When my friend Jenna Atkinson (jennaatkinsonconsulting. com) worked in the financial industry, she quickly observed that the reason 20 percent of the

Building Personal Brand Awareness

• Intentionally think of yourself as a brand • Take a searching moral inventory of your speech, habits, behaviors, appearance, hobbies, preferences, and talents • Ask friends what they think of when they think of you • Audit your online presence (Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, website, LinkedIn, email signature & language, etc.) • Ask yourself whether you are happy with what you’re giving and receiving or if you need to make some changes • What do you want to be known for? • What would you like to STOP, START & CHANGE?

brokers were doing 80 percent

a wise parable about cows to illustrate the power of branding. Imagine that you are taking a long country drive and as you continue down the highway you see fields and fields of cows. Brown cows, beige cows, black cows, and white cows. They become quite predictable because they all look just the same and what you would expect of cows. And then all of a sudden . . . you see a PURPLE cow! What is this purple creature? Out of sheer surprise, awe, and curiosity, you

of the business was because they

jam on your brakes, hop out of the car, jump over the fence and

had positioned themselves as the experts. They differentiated

run up to this amazing sight that is a purple cow. You have never

why they were the best choice to work with. So when she left her

seen anything like it before. It is memorable, it is unique, and it

Fortune 200 employer to start her own company, she made it her

has stopped you in your tracks!

mission to teach individuals how to personally brand themselves

How does this apply to you? Being a purple cow in your field

to maximize their opportunities, expand their influence, build

PowerfulWomenGulfCoast.com

keting, Seth Godin introduces

October 2015

enables you to stand apart from the herd. Being a purple cow in

enough, we cross the paths of thousands of people throughout our

your market place helps you stand apart from the crowd. Being a

lives and often go unnoticed and not remembered.

purple cow makes a memorable impression. In the old days you could look in the Yellow Pages and see the purple cows that would stand out from other businesses. In the Homes & Lands real estate sales advertising magazine, realtors for decades advertised the same way—with thumbnail photos of the front of the house and the driveway. And then one day, much to the delight of the public, realtors started advertising the interiors of the homes. They were the purple cows.

Batman had his car and Su-

10 Strategies to ROCK Your Personal Brand 1. Redesign, renew, and recharge your brand 2. Decide what value you bring to others and give it 3. Share your expertise, experience, and education 4. Refresh your personal appearance for fashion and flair 5. Use your signature color and/or accessories 6. Intertwine others’ needs with your offerings 7. Optimize a physical characteristic that identifies you 8. Rewrite your story to serve your desired outcomes 9. Create a website and a business card that stand apart 10. Remember: Be yourself because everyone else is taken!

are your super powers? Instead of hiring a personal PR firm to identify and promote your personal brand, ask yourself what you want remembered as your incredible strengths. What differentiates you so well that when people meet you, they remember you long after the exchange has occurred? ***

Susan Young is an author, keynote speaker and leadership development trainer. This article is an excerpt from her soon-to-be-released book, “The Art of First Impressions for Positive Impact…How To Shine Bright and Stand apart from the Crowd.” Please visit www.SusanSpeaks.com to hire Susan to speak at your next event or www.ArtOfFirstImpressions.com to receive updates for the book release.

The world is shifting. It is a noisy, busy, distracted place plying us with information overload and 24/7 technology vying for our attention. If that were not

October 2015

perman had his cape. What

PowerfulWomenGulfCoast.com

Family

are women in a position to be the

Extensive research exists concerning strides women are making as the family financial decision maker. Ameriprise, Prudential, Fidelity, TD Ameritrade, Allianz, and others have recently turned in survey results to show the numbers of women who are making financial decisions in the household has increased and women overall are assuming greater control over the family finances, even to the point of becoming the family’s chief financial officer. Credit for women taking more financial control at home seems to correlate with strides women are making in the business world. Women are earning more money and nearly half of women are now primary breadwinners in their household. Women have long been the nurturers and caretakers of the emotional needs of the family, so it’s only natural that with increased earning power also comes a desire to help with the family’s financial needs. Women are climbing the corporate ladder, sitting at the boardroom table and jumping out as entrepreneurs, which can begin to explain why women are becoming more involved in the family finances and in a lot of cases,

Chief Financial Officer yet? by Kolleen Edwards Chesley

handle the financial planning decisions. However, women still have a long way to go. The studies show great strides women are making with year over year results; however, most of them still show women need more confidence when it comes to financial decision making. Several of the studies show no improvement over ten years ago in this area. The advances women have made in the business world may lead to stagnation in confidence for several reasons: • Lack of direction. The financial planning world is full of choices and many of the options involve com-

plicated financial products. Even a simple sounding question of “how should I save for retirement?” can evolve into a complicated discussion that can send heads spinning. Throw in Google searches and misperceptions in the financial planning world and it’s enough to cause women to not take any action. • Lack of time. Women’s time demands seem to be heavier than ever before. Racing to the office, board meetings, home to start dinner and picking up the kids from soccer don’t leave women much time. (continued on page 22)

being the dominant family member to PowerfulWomenGulfCoast.com

October 2015

theHeartbeat by Kolleen Edwards Chesley Photography by Kim Hannan

of the family

Sally Alander would probably be surprised to hear her household being described as “managed similar to a business.” However, that is precisely how she treats it. Sally runs the household, raises two children, son age 10, and daughter age 7—also choosing to homeschool them—and tends to and feeds 22 horses every day while her husband is deployed on a military tour for two years. For all practical purposes, she is a business woman in a nontraditional business role. Sally keeps her home running with smart use of everyday tools. Lists and pre-organized files make the job of military wife and homeschool mom achievable.

“My mom was a stay-at-home mom and that was a position of respect,” Sally said. Sally also liked the thought of having meals ready, making sure the house looked nice and raising the kids. “I did question early on whether I was taking a step back — women have achieved so much!”

relationship through this. If we can make it through a

Now, she looks back and says it was the best

two year deployment, we can make it through anything!”

decision she has ever made.

Being grounded in faith is one of Sally’s keys to success.

“I’m able to support my husband much better. I’m able to

In order to manage everything for the household and ho-

maintain the household better instead of it being an after-

meschool her children full-time, Sally turns to researching.

thought. And with homeschooling, I’m able to see their growth

“Especially anything about organizing, scheduling and struc-

moments, when the light bulb turns on. I wouldn’t see all of

ture — these are vital to keep my days efficient. And I’m big on

that if I worked full time.”

a planner! Yes, the old-fashioned paper version,” she said with a laugh.

Her husband is a Navy Chaplain, which is basically a pastor for the Navy.

Sally is very tactile and wants to flip back and see the past. She also utilizes several white boards around the house. And lists;

“It is truly a calling,” Sally said. There is a real need for

she loves lists.

Chaplains and a high chance he will be deployed on and off throughout his military career. “It’s a God thing! Honestly, it’s

“I’m a list person. I like the progress of checking things off so

the only thing that gets me through. God has grown our

that when I look back, I see that I have accomplished some-

October 2015

PowerfulWomenGulfCoast.com

thing, even if it feels like I didn’t.”

other women is to “give yourself a break. Allow yourself to fail. There will be trials. We tell ourselves too much that we have to be perfect.

Similar to a business woman, Sally keeps to a weekly routine in the household.

“Sometimes I’m my own worst enemy, I’m more critical of myself, and I don’t give myself slack. I do expect perfection.”

“We wake up at 7 am and the kids have to be school dressed and in their classroom (the converted dining room) by 8 am.” And as in a business, she refers to the kids as “having a job to do” by going to school, and they take it very seriously. At first, she admitted, it was difficult.

How does she keep centered? “Reading devotions,” she said. “Reminding myself that I’m not perfect. I’m not at the finish line, I’ve got a long way to go.”

“I have a self-confidence issue, and it was tough knowing I’m now responsible for their education, too. I can’t blame anyone else for my kid’s education.”

Her other challenge is not having enough time to do everything she wants to in a day. “I try to cram too much stuff onto my to-do list. Since I’m a list person, I am very task-oriented, and I get tunnel vision into working through my to-do list. I forget to stop and have fun sometimes. When the kids are older, they will forget that mom

Another business analogy that applies to Sally is she is the heartbeat of her household. Her energy feeds the family. She sets the tone. Knowing this, she tries hard to be upbeat and positive.

always had the laundry caught up and they will remember the day we abandoned our chores and mom let her hair down and

“So, when the kids act out, the first thing I do is look at myself

we played in the rain all day.

to see if I am throwing out bad energy causing them to act up.” She is very conscious of her energy, her flow. Focusing on being positive on the outside forces her to stay positive on the

“Prioritizing helps with that,” she said. “The kid’s care and education is a priority. The horses are a priority. Laundry is not a priority.” Success to Sally is getting all of her priorities accomplished in the day. Everything else can

inside. “I’ve learned so much more from my failures than my success-

wait.

es. I have good days and I have bad days. And since my kids are always around, every mistake I make is a public one because

And prioritization must have paid off. Sally recently got a dou-

they are there. Then I take the time to explain what happened, and it’s a great learning lesson for them.

ble bachelors — a bachelor’s in psychology and life coaching and a bachelor’s in psychology and Christian counseling.

“It shows adults are not perfect, that we don’t get older and get

What an inspiration I found in this nontraditional business woman. Her perspectives on life and business offer lessons for

to a point where we don’t mess up,” she said. “If we fail, then admit it and then move on and learn from it.” And advice for

PowerfulWomenGulfCoast.com

us all. ***

October 2015

Breakfast - Brunch - Lunch - Dinner

(Family CFO, continued) Women need straight-forward answers that can be delivered on their time schedule. • Lack of money. Even though women are earning more, there are still demands on disposable income. Many women still lack the basic skills of money such as budgeting and understanding risk management. As women’s roles in the family finances continues to evolve, women will need to continue to work to fill in the financial confidence gap. Just remember, we are women, and hard work doesn’t scare us!

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*** Kolleen Edwards Chesley is an Investment Advisor Representative with Mainstay Financial Group in Pensacola, FL. Investment advisory services provided by Payne Capital Management, LLC, a Registered Investment Advisory Firm. She has an education-first approach with her clients and specializes in helping women with the unique needs they have with regards to financial planning.

(Dr. Teresa Mahaffey, continued) during the next several years. This time, she said, it’s in the form of a farm for people with disabilities on land she already owns. “Down the road, I could see living facilities onsite also.” She said she wants to build something for the community, and the skills that could be taught in this environment will be invaluable for people with disabilities. Think it might take passion,

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hard work and integrity? Yes, Teresa does, too. ***

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October 2015

PowerfulWomenGulfCoast.com

A Partnership for Good:

Powerful Women of the Gulf Coast and Gulf Coast Kid’s House “I am proud to say it has always been in the DNA of Powerful Women of the Gulf Coast

(PWGC), formerly Women’s Business Lunch, to bring awareness to a local nonprofit. Our nonprofit of choice is Gulf Coast Kid’s House (GCKH). Through PWGC and our monthly meetings we are able to align new businesses who can lend support to GCKH. When we invited a

woman to attend our monthly meetings it would help them grow personally and professionally as well as open new opportunities for serving GCKH. “ Natasha Parvey,

Co-founder, Women’s Business Lunch Executive Director, South Columbia County Chamber of Commerce

“I went to my first meeting of the Powerful Women of the Gulf Coast last fall. I was amazed on this occasion to discover Gulf Coast Kid’s House. A member of the team gave a brief speech to explain the mission of the organization as well as share their results. It deeply moved me and inspired me to witness the dedication and passion the staff has for the children they

help. Thanks to the Powerful Women of the Gulf Coast I am growing in a network of admira-

ble women and also I have been connected to the wonderful team of GCKH where I have the privilege to volunteer and give a little bit of my time.”

Flo Doisneau

Realize Unlimited

“I have been attending the monthly meetings of PWGC at GCKH for quite some time. It was

there I had heard about Chocolate Fest and was intrigued. Since it benefitted GCKH I decid-

ed to get tickets for that event, invited my friend Kay to come along and we had a marvelous time. We can’t wait for next year to get here in order to do it again.” Michele Kobielnik Affiliated Insurance

“Anything having to do with helping children gets my attention. I am a huge advocate of Gulf Coast Kid’s House. I am very passionate about helping children, especially innocent children

like these. Gulf Coast Kid’s House is an extraordinary non-profit organization. Everything they do to help these children is truly inspiring to me. It makes you want to give back! I am proud to be a part of an organization like PWGC who cares about Gulf Coast Kid’s House.” Lauren Hayward

Progressive Employer Management Company

GCKH is currently looking for contributions of baby wipes and diapers sizes 5 and 6. PowerfulWomenGulfCoast.com

October 2015

The Call to be be A

Mentor

JJ Waters advises others to not miss the call by Jen Peake as interviewed by Kolleen Edwards Chesley Photography by Kim Hannan

When talking with JJ Waters, director of sales and marketing for Guy Harvey

hand in that,” JJ said. “Influencing others

can be successes, because you learn a

is by far the best type of success a person

lesson.

Magazine, the first thing you notice is how being genuine and passionate are

can achieve.”

“I do feel that there is a definite sense of

her key traits. She is a woman on a mission and exudes confidence like I have never experienced before. Her poised

What defines success? Most people think of success as climbing the corporate ladder. JJ recalls having her

manner is refreshing, and you can tell she has wisdom beyond her years.

own goals in that area.

Over lunch, JJ shared her thoughts spe-

had a set timeline for accomplishing

cifically on mentoring and why it is such a big part of her success.

a manager by the time I was 30. And I

“It’s just my nature,” JJ said. “I am a middle child, but I was always the one taking charge of things in the family. It’s just who I am.” That attitude to go after something she wants is exactly what JJ tries to instill in the women and men she mentors.

“I wrote down all my goals on paper and them. I told my husband I wanted to be was.”

“I wote down all my goals on paper and had a set timeline for accomplishing them. ”

JJ started her career in radio sales at the age of 19. She was mentored early on in her career, and as she grew into becom-

JJ said it’s important for women to have goals and in today’s world, it’s even more important than when women struggled to succeed. Writing down goals gives you

ing a career woman in a male-dominated industry, she said, “I was the only female sales employee at the radio station,” and before long, she figured out that mentoring wasn’t only important for her own growth, but she realized that “mentoring is my calling.”

erment, and knowing you can achieve

“It’s such a rewarding feeling to see

something gives a sense of pride.

someone blossom and know you had a

And don’t be afraid to fail. Even failures

October 2015

a physical reminder and makes you a stronger person. For every high goal you set, also set smaller ones. Big or small, crossing a goal off your list gives a sense of empow-

entitlement that is widespread among new college grads and those just entering the workforce, which is dangerous. It is as true today, as it ever was: hard work, perseverance, a can-do attitude are the cornerstones of success. There are no shortcuts, there is no elevator to the top. You have to take the stairs. If you think differently, you’re disillusioned.” Women need to be determined and set goals for themselves first, then set goals for the business world. “My mentor made it clear to me that I did not have to compromise myself to get ahead. He told me I could do it on my own if I believed in myself, if I was persistent and if I gained all the knowledge I could soak in.” In other words, JJ figured out it was her brain, not her body, that would get her places, and she yearned for more knowledge. When it comes down to it, it’s hard work and goals that make you a better person and defines success. “I researched and learned and absorbed everything I could get my hands and ears and eyes on,” she said. Being persistent, she said, gave her the leg up in her career PowerfulWomenGulfCoast.com

and, later on, in her personal life. She still feels strongly about that now, encouraging women to seek out commonality in mentors. “Put yourself in situations to meet influential people,” she said. “Networking, going to business functions… I surrounded myself with the right people and garnered lifelong relationships that to this day, help me succeed.” Influencing others to better themselves It wasn’t until she became a mentor herself that JJ saw the biggest success. “As a mentor, the satisfaction of seeing someone become a better person and achieve their goals is the highest compliment I could ever get.” She explained that watching someone grow is like being a mother hen and seeing your chicks leave the nest. “If you help other people get what they want, you in turn get what you want — it’s very rewarding. You have to be altruistic and not worry about how to get to your next goal. You have to help others climb that ladder and forego self-service. That’s how you become successful, even if you don’t realize it; they elevate you as you elevate them.” JJ remembered the first time she realized the effect she had on her mentees was when one sent her a message saying thanks for the encouragement and help throughout the years and how it helped shape her life. “It’s very humbling to know you had a profound effect on someone,” she said, almost seeming emotional. It is an emotional process. “Everything we do in life affects us in some way. Once you are a mentor, you are always mentoring, even in little ways.” She said mentors and mentees should form a lasting bond that goes beyond the business world. The trust that is built in these relationships, she said, is indescribable. JJ has an open-door policy and was always available but everyone is different. She said when you surround yourself with other successful people, it makes you realize you can learn from watching how they act. “A good mentor who really cares about you will teach you the right way to do things and will not take shortcuts,” JJ said. Some lasting advice Planting a seed goes a long way. A few kind words, some small suggestions and before you know it, you might have paved the PowerfulWomenGulfCoast.com

(continued on page 31) 25

October Autumn 2015

WITH YOUR DESK

renew the art of the business lunch

by Myra Van Hoose your peers on a more personal level and build trust. Trust leads to referrals.

Hectic. You’re working ten hour days, “leaning in” at the office and supporting a family, “being there” for your children and husband and extended family and friends. What’s missing in this scenario? You.

Sold? Now, take it slowly. There is a definite etiquette in business lunching that can either make or break your relationships and/or future business.

Taking care of yourself According to recent surveys by a variety of management companies and the National Restaurant Association, about one-third of full-time employees say they skip lunch altogether at least once each week.

1. Make your invitation straightforward and be up front about the point of lunch. For example, “I would like to get to know you better. Do you have an hour for lunch next week?” Or, “I would love to

You don’t need to be a nutritionist to know skipping meals is hazardous to your health and sitting at your desk for long periods of time without breaks is being touted as the new “smoking” as far as health risks. And if you are eating at your desk, are you watching cat videos instead of working anyway?

hand you my proposal. Do you have ten minutes for a sandwich?” No surprise conversation twists after you are seated. 2. Don’t monopolize your invitee’s time. Make sure you both agree on how much time to spend before

You might balk at taking a whole hour to yourself in your overbooked day but you can ease into lunch and ease your guilt by combining a food break with business. No one is talking about returning to the days of the three martini lunch (except, perhaps, in New Orleans); however, all research points to the benefits of standing up and getting away from your desk and your computer screen periodically.

you choose your location. Time and familiarity are directly proportional – typically accepted protocol is a quick bite with a new business associate, building up to a longer lunch with a long-time acquaintance. 3. Be on time. Respect your lunch partner’s time by not wasting it. Enter gracefully and maintain poise no

Take the benefits of taking a lunch break one step beyond your physical well-being.

matter how traffic was. Focus on your agreed upon topics.

Take care of your career Networking is the single most effective method of getting and keeping business. Take networking up a notch by meeting people one on one outside of traditional networking meetings. Pick the brain of a would-be mentor. Keep your ear to the ground on new practices and industry changes by checking in with new-hires. Get to know October 2015

4. Put your cell phone away and stop glancing at it. Again, valuing the time of the person with you is paramount. Listen to her. 5. Know your way around a table. Basic table etiquette is required as a good habit so it can’t be ignored. 26

PowerfulWomenGulfCoast.com

In other words, don’t talk with your mouth full, place your napkin on your lap, no elbows on the table, don’t begin eating until everyone is served. That allows your table companion a pleasant experience. 6. Pick up your own tab. Don’t add debt to your relationship. As a side note, if your invitation was, “May I take you to lunch?” your guest inferred that you are paying. So pay, and be careful how you word your invitations. Now that you are convinced you should lunch away from your desk and have the rules about dining with business associates down pat, where to go? While Palafox Place in Pensacola is the go-to street for many dining needs, the crowds often hinder business talk. Consider frequenting them at later hours, after 1:30 pm or so, if your schedule allows, when the crowd thins. At the height of the lunch hour, however, the following suggestions work well. They are all off the beaten path a bit and have onsite parking: Ever’Man Café What: The “I only need ten minutes of your time” lunch - super fast, delicious nutritional, organic choices you can grab and take anywhere.

PowerfulWomenGulfCoast.com

Location: Ever’Man Cooperative Grocery and Cafe, 315 West Garden Street, inside to the left. Menu: $ Hot bar and salad bar, sandwiches and wraps, smoothies and juices. Venue: Anywhere you want (but please, not at your own desk) – perhaps take it to your invitee’s office (if she hasn’t read this article). Service: Counter. Fast and easy through the grocery store checkout. Noise level: Just the noise you make and the privacy you create if you take out; eat in is generally pretty quiet, but it depends on the clientele at the time. The Single Fin Café What: The “I just need your signature” sandwich—a quick, delicious mouthful in a surprising location where you can have a quiet conversation. Location: Inside Waterboyz, 380 N. 9th Ave Menu: $ Delicious gourmet sandwiches, paninis, pizzas, espressos and teas. Venue: Quirky - A dozen tables beside the racks of skateboards. Service: Counter. Fast, friendly and easy. Noise level: Almost none. A handful of diners, all on their laptops or IPads. Will get loud later in the day. Nick’s Boathouse What: The “Let’s get to know each other a bit” lunch - typical tasty beach food

with a great view and a big fish tank inside – diversions to keep the conversation going. Location: 455 W Main Street, past the Blue Wahoo Stadium. Menu: $$ Fish, Burgers, Pastas, Salads. Venue: Lovely view of Pensacola Bay, lots of outdoor seating, casual and relaxed. Service: Tell them you are in a hurry and they comply. Noise level: Low. Light crowd at lunch, good acoustics. O’Brien’s Bistro What: The “let’s discuss that thoroughly” lunch – old school goodness and an atmosphere that will give you a moment to seal the deal Location: Strip mall - 4350 Bayou Blvd # 8, next to Cordova Square Menu: $$ Delicious classics, lots of salads, and traditional entrees Venue: Upscale. Carpeted, traditional booths and tables and a private room. Service: Quick and accommodating. Noise level: Low. Carpeting and booths assist in privatizing conversations and reducing noise. Just say no to the sad desk lunch. There are plenty of options nearby for quick affordable choices and excellent business opportunities. Make the choice to lunch out for your health and your career!***

October 2015

Powerful Women of the Gulf Coast

Monthly Networking

Started in 2004 as Womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Business Lunch as a new way to network after Hurricane Ivan. Incorporated in 2013 as Powerful Women of the Gulf Coast, our organization has been fortunate to interact with thousands of women over the past years. Free monthly meetings for women focused on networking, professional development, education, and fun.

3rd

11:30-1:00

Friday of the month

Our mission is to promote, advance and improve women in business.

Jennifer Harrison Co-Director

1st

11:30-1:00

Kolleen Edwards Chesley Founder - Director

Pensacola Networking Event Gulf Coast Kidâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s House

Gulf Breeze Networking Event Hampton Inn & Suites

Elizabeth Nims Co-Director

Visit our website PowerfulWomenGulfCoast.com /PowerfulWomenoftheGulfCoast /directors@powerfulwomengulfcoast.com October 2015

PowerfulWomenGulfCoast.com

How the Game of

Go Fish

Relates to Referrals

by Kolleen Edwards Chesley

Remember the card game Go Fish? Growing up, we played

you can’t expect to grow your business all on your

lots of games in our household. As my brother and I aged,

own either. You need outside supporters to grow. Uti-

the more we played card games on road trips or rainy days. I

lizing a great referral plan will help save your business

look back fondly at Go Fish and its simple and yet strategic

time, money, energy and will quicken the sales cycle

elements.

which leads to improved efficiencies and longer term

Here is the basic premise: you were dealt cards; however,

clients.

you needed the cards other people had to win the game. On

2. In Go Fish, you have to be laser specific with

your turn, you asked another player a question to find out if

your questions. It’s not specific enough to ask, “Do

they had the cards you needed, for example, “Do you have

you have any cards?” or, “Do you have any cards with

any 8s?” There is strategy in Go Fish. If you paid really good

numbers on them?” And it’s still not specific enough

attention to their response and body language, you could get

to say, “Do you have any cards with numbers 1 to 5?”

clues as to what some of their other cards were. Those clues

Likewise in the business world, you have to drill down

were important because in the next round you would know

and be laser specific when you ask for referrals. When

what question to ask to get the cards you needed to win the

someone asks you how they can help your business,

game.

it’s ineffective to say, “I’m looking for anyone or

How does this relate to asking for and getting referrals in the

everyone who…” However, I think a lot of times we haven’t been trained in how to ask for good referrals.

business world?

In many networking groups, it’s called the specific ask

1. In Go Fish, you aren’t dealt all the cards you need

and it involves being direct and asking for the deci-

to win the game immediately and you can’t play by

sion maker or the closest you can get to the decision

yourself. You need other players to play and you need

maker or end user by name. Picture a target and the

the other players’ cards to win. In the business world, PowerfulWomenGulfCoast.com

(continued on page 30) 29

October 2015

decision maker or end user is the bullseye. You have rings out from the bullseye and every ring would be someone a little further out from the decision maker. For example, a part of my business is teaching educational workshops for federal employees and I want to meet the person at the Social Security Administration

Protecting Your Most Precious Assets!

that makes those decisions. That individual would be in the center, in the bullseye of my target. Then, maybe one ring out might be a person that works in the HR department at Social Security along with this individual. Another ring out might be any employee of the Pensacola Social Security office. When asking for referrals, the more specific you can be, the better the chances you will find out if the person in front of you has connections that will benefit your business. It is much more effective when you can say, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Do you know John Smith, the head of HR at Social Security?â&#x20AC;? Try to change your referral language to be more specific and ask for the connection that you are looking for rather than asking for generalities. You might be surprised to find someone in your circle already has the connection that you have been seeking. ***

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(JJ Waters continued) way for someone to do big things and change many lives. JJ’s advice to women who want to succeed is to “educate yourself all the time; never stop. Make things a priority. Be honest, be open and be respectful.” Find people who are better at things than you are, who are positive and confident. JJ’s advice to mentors mirrors that sentiment. “Positive influence is what I found makes a person grow,” she said. A mentee is peeled back like an onion, JJ said. A mentor should invoke that sense of confidence in someone that no matter what the obstacle, you can overcome it and achieve your goals. “Mentors are needed to remind us that we CAN do it; and to build people up, not tear them down.”

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JJ said the benefits of having a mentor are exponential: The safety net of having someone to answer questions and guide you is the best learning experience a person can get. “Don’t be afraid to ask ‘the stupid questions.’ What you get in a mentor is different than what you can get in a book.” *** PowerfulWomenGulfCoast.com

Before

During

Stay tuned for the next edition of PWGC the Magazine to see our progress!

October 2015

Stacey

for

Kostevicki

Hard Work and Conflict Resolution are Key by Kolleen Edwards Chesley Photography by Kim Hannan

Stacey Kostevicki may be young in years, but don’t let her youth fool you; she is a wise and mature soul. As the executive director at Gulf Coast Kid’s House (GCKH) for almost five years, she loves the role she serves. It was during college while volunteering in Tallahassee, Stacey recalls, “I’d never volunteered before, I didn’t come from a philanthropic family, at least if they were, I didn’t know.” She volunteered in fundraising. “All of the sudden I thought, this is it. Something I could feel good about doing, and could be good at and right then, I got bit by the non-profit bug!” Hard Work Having a passion for non-profit is helpful, but Stacey credits hard work in landing the position at GCKH and also credits hard work with keeping her at the top of her game. While interviewing, she admits “I tend to over prepare and I had done my homework, thoroughly, and had gone through all the 990s for GCKH and had a whole list of questions and discussion points.” 990s are basically the financial skeleton for a non-profit and she had scrutiOctober 2015

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nized years and years of these documents. Needless to say she

we are trying to do more outcome measurements on state and

aced the interview and landed the job. “Hard work is still very

national levels and showing exactly how we improved their

important to me. You have to put in more than eight hours a

mental wellbeing, what was their trauma scale when they first

day if you want to be successful.” Stacey backs up her beliefs

came in and what was it when they left. Our field has a long

by working 50 to 55 hours every week.

way to go in that, and something I have a lot of passion for.”

She also expects hard work out of everyone that comes in the

Her Personal Growth

door. “I reinforce it from the second they enter the property.”

“I’m determined. I think if you call yourself successful then

When someone comes in for a job or intern opportunity the

you can get lazy, so I wouldn’t use that word, but I try really

first question she asks is, “What do you know about GCKH?”

hard and I try to do things for the right reasons.

“If they don’t know anything it pretty much shows me they

“I like to be liked and I like to be right,” which Stacey admits

haven’t put the time and effort into taking this seriously.”

is a bit of a balancing act.

The Future of Child Advocacy

Stacey admits wanting to be

“I’ve never been in a position where I

liked is a woman thing. “I think

could change so much and have such

men like to be liked, but if they

an impact on the future direction.” Sta-

aren’t it doesn’t matter to them

cey admits that, “I feel like I’m starting

so much. I don’t know why and

to hit my stride then something chang-

it drives me crazy but women

es and so I’m challenged by this whole

tend to be pleasers so not being

new thing that I need to learn.”

liked or not being respected hits

In the field of child advocacy, it is be-

us a lot closer to home than I’ve

coming tougher. “I just went to the na-

seen it hit men.”

tional conference, and it’s maddening,

To keep her grounded, Stacey

because people in this field do it for the

focuses on a favorite motiva-

kids and they think that’s enough and

tional quote: “Keep your eyes on the stars, and your feet on the ground” - Theodore Roosevelt. It means to keep dreamabove: GCKH has a conference room available for community meetings. left: Stacey looks at the latest inventory of children’s clothes in the newly remodeled Jane’s Closet.

ing, but be realistic. It’s great to have visionaries and we need them for sure, but also need workers.” She likes that she can be a little of both, excel more at getting the job done, and always looking forward and up. Conflict Resolution

Stacey admits what holds her back is doing a better job of

that’s what’s going to sustain us.” No longer can child advo-

immediately resolving conflicts. “When a situation arises, I

cacy centers fall back on the harsh reality that kids are being

tend to digest it and walk away and then come back.” Even

abused and that alone should be a reason for funding.

though that’s fairly quick with her, sometimes that opportuni-

“There is a shift that is happening globally and there are less

ty is missed.

dollars, less trust and it’s tougher now,” Stacey says.

To get better, she admits having more confidence would help

To combat that, GCKH fights with better information. “In-

and that comes with experience. “I still like to do a lot of scripting, if I can anticipate there might be an issue coming

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October 2015

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up, it helps to have scripted responses so I can respond right

mained level from last year, and level to her when they asked

away.” A specific script she learned at Studer Group says

for more, means a loss. “Because of that we have to prove

“When you …, I feel…, and the result is…” Wanting to be

more. With more Child Advocacy Centers coming on, anoth-

liked means women do take things personally and this script

er year of level funding will negatively affect us all.”

takes the personal part out. “It becomes an action and the

On her path to success, “I do a lot of listening, a lot of observ-

reaction to the action and gets them to focus on the action.”

ing and out comes some future vision. I’m not one of those

The more the emotion is removed from the situation, the

people to come up with a concept out of thin air, but it comes

better the conflict will be resolved.

out of feedback and observation. More directing, seeing a

Stacey sees those same challenges of conflict resolution with

need and figuring out how to meet it. I’m a listener, a collec-

other women. “And fear of committing to an activity.” She

tor, and a giver” and she will continue to focus on increasing

calls it analysis paralysis. “Being so scared of making the

those strengths. ***

wrong decision, they keep rolling it around and then nothing happens and you lose that opportunity.” Stacey admits it boils down to confidence and being liked because you don’t want to make the wrong decision. “Confidence and likability are the biggest deterrents from success for women.” Next? There is still a ton of work Stacey wants to do with GCKH. “More on the statewide level, working with the Florida Network of Children’s Advocacy Centers board to bring GCKH to the forefront of outcome measurements in Florida.” GCKH is at a critical point, and they haven’t always got state funding but recently started getting it.” She explained that their funding rePowerfulWomenGulfCoast.com

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FITNESS ARTICLE Work It Out

At Work ...

...Without All The Sweat

by LaDonna Spivey Photography by Kim Hannan

The office is a menagerie of personali-

neighborhood, or she chooses the mid-

whipped cream, sprinkles on top with a

ties. There’s the rock star, the kiss-up, the

day spin class over lunch, or after work

splash of coffee drink and say, “Next week

underachiever, the extreme introvert, the

she heads straight to the gym wearing a

I’m going to start doing that.”

extreme extrovert, the ninja refrigerator

tank top that reads, “This is my happy

raider, and my favorite – gym girl. You

hour #workout.” She is strong. She is

And we mean it. Next week.

know her. Maybe you are her. Either she

healthy. She is disciplined. Every day we

rises from a perfectly good bed before

watch her grab her gym bag as we take a

even the sun wakes up to run around the

sip of our extra large, extra sugar, mocha,

Next week is a long way away, but you don’t have to be gym girl to improve your health. Dr. Len Kravitz of the University of Mexico cites a study of self-professed couch potatoes -- people who didn’t, wouldn’t and had no intention of exercising. One group was overweight, the other group of couch warmers had a healthy weight. The difference between the two groups was simple. The people who had a healthy BMI moved more throughout the day. “Fidgeters” burned an additional 352 calories a day. Yep, that annoying co-worker who is always tapping his foot or clicking her pen isn’t annoying after all. They are torching calories and adding days to their lives (annoying fidgety days perhaps, but days nonetheless). So until your next week comes here are some ways you can sneak a little calorie burning and muscle strengthening into your work day. No sweat absorbing towel required. Give the tush a time out. We don’t realize how much damage we are doing

October 2015

PowerfulWomenGulfCoast.com

to our bodies by sitting all day. Aim to never sit more than 30

waiting use that time to move. You can do pushups off a table

minutes at a time. Set your alarm. It’s so easy now that we have

or counter top, heel raises, lunges, standing hamstring curls and

alarms that are easy to access on our phones. Every 30 minutes,

squats, to name a few.

get up and use that time to take a walk around the office, make

Swivel. Kids have it right. Why would anyone sit still in a chair

copies, or talk to a co-worker in lieu of email.

that swivels? Sit with your back straight, shoulders relaxed down,

Sit. No stand. No sit. Dr. Len Kravitz of the University of

and your belly button contracted towards your spine. Keeping

Mexico suggests that every time you sit down, immediately

your knees bent, lift your feet a couple of inches off the ground.

stand back up then sit down again. I have to admit it looks a

Now place your fingertips lightly on your desk and use your

bit obsessive compulsive, but he says you can perform an extra

abs to twist your hips left and right. You can do this while you

10,000 squats a day with this method of sitting. Ten thousand

listen to that long-winded person on the phone, as you read or

squats without breaking a sweat?! Yes, please. And it’s not any

anytime you decide you want to act like a six-year-old. You can

weirder than tapping your foot or clicking your pen.

swivel as you read this article!

Walk the talk. Next time you have to meet with a co-worker

Remember, your body wants to move, and every little bit of

suggest talking about things over a casual stroll. It will get you

exercise counts. You don’t have to go the gym to start healthy

both moving, and studies have shown that moving increases

habits. With minimal effort and a little bit of creativity you can

your blood flow. This washes your neurons in fresh blood and

do something positive for your health without leaving the office.

perks your brain up. Imagine all the creative, cost cutting, world

Besides, it will carry you over until next week when you and

changing ideas that have come from perky brains.

gym girl buy your matching “Your work out is my warm up”

Don’t just stand there. Waiting for the copy machine?

T-shirts. ***

Waiting for someone to get off the phone? Waiting for your hot

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October 2015

When the

UNTHINKABLE Happens:

Sheri Raley

MAMMOGRAPHER

by Rachel Rowan as interviewed by Kolleen Edwards Chesley Photography by Kim Hannan Sheri Raley has been a mammographer for 29 years. She has screened thousands and thousands of women for breast cancer and she knows exactly what warning signs to look for. She never expected to recognize those signs in herself. Sheri wanted to be a radiographer ever since she learned about X-rays in ninth grade. She thought it would be fascinating to look inside the human body. Once she started radiology courses, she chose to focus on mammography. “I feel like mammography is one of my callings,” she said. “Long before [I had] breast cancer I felt that, and I just try to use it to touch women’s lives and make a difference, and I hope that I have.” Patients who see Sheri at the Women’s Group in Pensacola for their yearly screenings know that she is a positive, upbeat person. She said she likes to genuinely compliment her patients, and she really likes taking care of first-timers to make sure their experience is better than the horror stories they’ve heard. “I joke that one of my specialties is scaredy cats,” she said. “So many of my patients, when they’re done with their first mammogram, they say, ‘That’s all there is to it? What’s all the fussing about?!’” “Most of the time,” she said, “when a woman gets called back for an ultrasound or biopsy after a screening, it’s not because of cancer; call-backs happen a lot with first-time patients because there’s nothing to compare the first screening to.” October 2015

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Usually, Sheri can tell if there’s some-

“I just needed to know what I was going

wall.

thing wrong while she’s doing a screen-

to be facing, what I had to do, so I could

ing. That’s why, in April 2014, after she

make my mental list and start checking

“I’m like, five months? You’ve got to be

asked a co-worker to do an ultrasound

off the list and getting it done,” she said.

on a suspicious lump she’d found in

“That’s how I am. So that’s how I did it.”

her breast during a monthly self-exam-

kidding!” she said, “Cause I don’t do things slowly. I’m a bit on the hyper side.” An MRI confirmed the cancer was larger than her doctors

ination, she knew right away there was

had thought, but fortunately,

something very, very wrong.

it had not spread to anywhere

“When I looked at the monitor, I saw

else in her body.

this big, ugly cancer,” she said. “As she scanned me, I just turned my head toward the wall, tears streaming down my face, because I knew. The only thing I didn’t know was how big it was, how aggressive, had it spread anywhere else.” The next day, Sheri had an official mammogram and ultrasound. She asked the radiologist to be straight with her: Is it bad? “Yeah,” the radiologist told her. “I was trying not to cry. She knew I knew; I just wanted to hear it from her,” she said. “My friend and co-worker who did the ultrasound, who’s been a huge help and blessing to me, I had to send her out of the room, and I cried.”

Sheri said it makes her uncomfortable when people tell her she’s brave or courageous because she doesn’t see it that way. “It’s either that or die. I just wanted to live!” she said. “I consider myself strong. It may have knocked me down a little bit, but I kicked back. You have to remember it’s temporary.” There are several types of breast cancer,

“I was very thankful for that,” she said. Sheri worked four days a week during her chemo treatments. She needed the paycheck to help cover medical costs and it helped her to keep up with her normal

Important For You To Know • • • • •

One in eight women will be diagnosed with breast cancer. (“But seven in eight will not, so focus on that!” - Sheri) Start getting yearly mammograms between ages 35 and 40. Perform monthly self-exams on your breasts to check for unusual lumps. It is normal for your breasts to feel lumpy or bumpy, but the bumps shouldn’t change dramatically. Regular self-exams will help you understand the difference. Stick to the same time every month for the self-exam. Sheri recommends you do them right after your period ends.

“Though things looked uncertain and frightening, even bleak, being a woman of faith I still believed that God would take care of me”. After the diagnosis, Sheri went to her doctor and got a treatment plan. Once she did that, she said, things settled down and it was easier to handle. PowerfulWomenGulfCoast.com

she said, and there’s no cookie-cutter way to treat anything. Every person’s prognosis and treatment plan is different. She wanted to have a mastectomy done right away, but her oncologist told her it wouldn’t be that quick. She was going to need five months of chemotherapy first to shrink the cancer away from the chest 39

life as much as she could. “One of the hardest things about this whole situation was not being me,” she said. “I move at a fast pace, and I couldn’t. It was frustrating.” She is thankful for the support of so (continued on page 41) October 2015

Is Your Feedback A Little Backwards? by Kolleen Edwards Chesley Although there are many schools of thought on leadership,

failed and unchangeable past.

one commonality is most leaders agree that providing and re-

•

ceiving feedback is essential to growth. Effective feedback pro-

Feedforward is especially suited to successful people by focusing us on goals and not on judgement.

vides for the opportunity for advancement and improvement

•

and helps direct leaders toward attaining their goals. Feedback

People don’t take feedforward as personally as feedback. That one hits me in the gut, thanks Marshall!

allows us to know what is working and what isn’t and aligns us

•

with a path of constant advancement.

It’s easier to give someone feedforward versus giving them feedback. Let’s face it, we’ve all been there when you have hesitated saying anything that can be perceived negative.

In Marshall Goldsmith’s article “Try Feedforward Instead

•

And, there are seven more fabulous benefits he points out

of Feedback,” he addresses the stark reality of feedback. “It

that you want to read. A new tool for my toolbox, feedfor-

focuses on the past, on what has already occurred—not on the

ward! • http://www.marshallgoldsmithlibrary.com/cim/articles_display.php?aid=110

infinite variety of opportunities that can happen in the future. As such, feedback can be limited and static, as opposed to expansive and dynamic.”

Previously Featured on: Studer Community Institute

The article goes on to outline some of the benefits of Feedfor-

For more information please visit www.studeri.org or contact

ward instead of Feedback:

info@studeri.org The mission of the Studer Community Institute is to improve the

We can change the future, we can’t change the past which

quality of life for the people in the Pensacola Metro Community.

aligns our thoughts to a positive and changeable future, not a October 2015

PowerfulWomenGulfCoast.com

(Sheri Raley, continued)

whole thing. Even when I lost hair and

many people. Her co-workers threw her

things changed after surgery and all, he’s

what she called a “chemo shower,” where

just a true example of what love is.”

they gave her scarves, hats and things to

After five months of chemo, Sheri had

decorate them with.

a double mastectomy, followed by 28

Two women from her church organized

treatments of radiation to get rid of the

fundraisers to help with medical bills.

last of the cancer.

Recalling those women, Sheri said “We

Though she had a great support system,

are so thankful for our church family.

Sheri said not everyone she came across

They were such a blessing to us! They

was helpful. If you’re not sure what to say

brought us meals and really watched out

to a cancer patient, she said, try being

for us. In fact, two women in the church

encouraging.

organized fundraisers and everyone

“Tell success stories,” she said. “I work

worked very hard to see that they were a success!”

Co-worker, Terry Gillies shares more with Sheri than meets the eye. She too has beat cancer and this sisterhood strengthens the two of them as they serve the women of Pensacola

in the field; I know people die from this! You don’t have to tell me. It was

Her kids helped take care of everything

so wonderful to hear, ‘Oh, my mother

she was too exhausted to do. She said her

had breast cancer 20 years ago, and she’s

husband became her head cheerleader.

doing great now.’ I’m going to be one of

“I have the best husband I could ever

those stories, too. I’m determined. I’ve

have,” she said. “He’s done nothing but make me feel beautiful through this

just gotta go through a little bumpy path here, but we’ll get through it.” ***

Since 1965, our goal at Community Action Program Committee has been to empower hard-working, economically challenged families through numerous rewarding programs such as:

PowerfulWomenGulfCoast.com

October 2015

Big Strides in a

Male Dominated Industry content sponsored by: Elite Services Quality Clean Elite Services Quality Clean would like to take this opportunity to congratulate Elizabeth Nims on becoming an IICRC Certified Master Textile Cleaning Technician. By receiving this certification, she has entered the ranks of the select few in the textile cleaning industry; a highly male dominated field. The Greater Pensacola area contains five individuals. This also makes her the third person on staff at Elite Services to receive this distinction. Obtaining this level of education requires hard work and dedication; several instructional classes and multiple hours of on the job training at a minimum. Classes such as the Odor Control Technician and the Color Repair Technician classes are ones which women have a higher percentage of passing. Why is this? Women are able to determine the miniscule differences required to spot issues; and many are also able to relay these into simpler terms to be understood by most clients. What led her to becoming a master textile cleaning technician? Even though she grew up in a home where there was a family business, Elizabeth wanted to have her first job be outside of the family business. She said she wanted this so she could learn other skills to help push her fatherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s business to a higher level. She got her first job in the retail industry. Through this job, she learned the customer comes first. She also learned to listen to their needs first, then find a way to accommodate them. Elizabeth said education was important to her, so while working that job, she put herself through college earning a degree in business management. Again, looking for ways to improve the promotion of the family business, she began to look to her father, David Nixon, as an example. He is most likely the most certified person in the carpet and upholstery cleaning industry in our area. He currently holds 18 certifications. She saw him leading by example and wanted to follow. Since she had gained certain business skills through her first job and college, she figured it was time to begin learning the dirty to clean details of the textile cleaning industry. Thus began her journey into obtaining the coveted IICRC Master Textile Cleaning Technician Certification. October 2015

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As most of the decisions in the care

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and charge the price he quoted. To

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view to see how things should look

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vided. We believe in doing the job

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right. This means we do things such

well as taking comprehensive exams

as vacuum all carpets we are clean-

for each class. Most of her male

ing before we put any moisture on

counterparts in the industry do not

them. This allows for the maximum

have the understanding and patience

efficiency for purifying your textiles.

for certain aspects of the business,

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such as color repair. This is why she

carpet manufacturer warranties

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vice to our repertoire. A motivational goal was to outdo her “Master Daddy.” Thus, she was able to score higher than he did on some of the exams; but she still looks to him for wisdom and guidance on tricky situations as he is the local expert in the field. What sets Elite Services Quality Clean apart from everyone else? Elite Services Quality Clean was founded in 1985 by David and Karen Nixon. David saw a need to build a company that everyone could trust with the cleaning of their textiles. Early in his own career, he saw

PowerfulWomenGulfCoast.com

how each company had their own special and unique way of serving their customers. He decided to integrate these into his own style of customer service, and thus began the adventure of ESQC. Over the years, he has encouraged education not only for himself but his employees also. By doing this, this gives the employees greater ability to explain steps and processes to the clients. He also strives to provide quotes that do not change unless the scope of the job itself changes. But above all else to arrive on time, explain what he is going to do, provide

with you to be able to listen to your needs and address them. We know the best offense to a problem is having a good defense. This is why we choose to leave you with your own bottle of spotter solution in order for you to get to that spot or stain right after it happens. Rest assured, if a stain should fail to go away; this is where color repair can correct the problem. Finally, we want to give you four tips in order to help you protect the investments in your home.

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October 2015

1. Should something be spilled on your carpet or upholstery

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your carpet or sofa. ***See the word of caution in Tip #3.

We want to say again congratulations to our newest IICRC

2. Use the hand attachment of your vacuum to vacuum your

Master Textile Cleaning Technician, Elizabeth Nims. We hope

upholstery on a weekly basis. Remove all cushions that can be

you understand a bit more of what sets us apart from other

removed and vacuum the inside of your sofa or chair. Vacuum

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because it is keeping the abrasive dirt out of the material.

If you have any questions for us, want to schedule a free price

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out. Wipe it on the surface of your upholstery being sure to

a call at 850-453-5544. You can also find us on the web at

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EliteQualityClean.com and on Facebook at facebook.com/

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October 2015

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October 2015

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