10 minute read
Grow - Grey - Gracefully
from Rebirth
Grow - Grey - Gracefully
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Inderjit Singh
“Oh, why can’t I remain like this forever!” is what we all think till we realize that age has no reality except in the physical world. The essence of being human is to be resistant to the passage of time. However, our inner lives are eternal, which is to say that our spirits should remain as youthful and vigorous as when we were in full bloom. At age 20, we worry about what others think of us. At age 40, we don’t care what they think of us. At age 50, we discover that they haven’t been thinking of us at all. So, why worry?
These authentic words encourage us to focus on what is truly important and the legacy we want to leave behind.
I learnt my lessons fairly early in life from the extraordinary books such as “I’m OK You’re OK” by Thomas A. Harris and “Games People Play” by my favorite author Eric Berne. It is with gratitude that I fondly remember my dear Dad who as an eminent Barrister, a Psychologist and a former Attorney General to the British Government was instrumental in introducing me to quality reading in my formative years. The title of this write-up “Grow-Grey-Gracefully” has emerged in my mind in context of my informal chats with him on life matters. At some earlier phase in my life I adopted a “position” about myself and others that determined how I felt about everything I was doing then and should be doing in times to come. I had by then realized that for a huge portion of the population, that position was "I’m Not OK-You’re OK."
This negative "life position," shared both by successful and unsuccessful people alike, contaminates our rational adult capabilities, leaving us vulnerable to inappropriate content and quality of interpersonal communications, emotional reactions and outbursts. These readings and understandings have helped me to get rid of my inhibitions, find the freedom to change, liberate the adult effectiveness, and achieve joyful intimacy with others. I finally know the difference between pleasing and loving, obeying and respecting, chasing and doing. Realization has dawned on me that a ‘joyful spirit is always young.’ Getting old is like climbing a mountain; one gets a little out of breath, but the view is much better!
When it comes to staying young, a ‘mind-lift’ beats a ‘face-lift’ any day! It has taken me so many years to be OK with being this different, this alive, this intense, and this content.
Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young at heart. A lot of people resist transition and therefore never allow themselves to enjoy who they are. Most people don’t grow up. Most people just age. Embrace the change, no matter what it is. Once you do, you can learn about the new world you’re in and take advantage of it. You still bring to bear all your prior experience, but you are riding on another level. It’s completely liberating.
As Joan Collins said, age signifies how long a person has lived on earth, but how you have lived is an altogether different ball game. It has no limitations! The only limitations are the ones one sets for oneself. Those who are fearless, never grow old.
Sofia Loren was named by the American Film Institute as one of the greatest stars of Classical Hollywood cinema and as of 2023, is one of the last surviving major stars from the era. Loren is also the only remaining living person to appear on AFI's list of the 50 greatest stars of American film history. Age is nothing but a number - and for five-time Golden Globe-winning actress Sophia Loren 86, her number isn’t dictating the youthful vibes she feels inside.
“Sometimes when I say I’m 86, I don’t believe it. I feel 20,” confessed Loren, shining as the cover girl for AARP magazine’s December 2020/January 2021 issue. Loren, reclaimed her crown as one of cinema’s most prolific leading ladies as she portrayed a Holocaust survivor in the new 2020 Netflix drama film “The Life Ahead.
“When I look in the mirror, I cheer for myself. I don’t ask, ‘Are you great?’ or ‘Are you beautiful?’ No! It’s how I feel inside, how secure I am, how happy I am. That’s what matters,” the Italian icon noted as her principal rule of thumb.” – Sophia Loren.
Do not grow old, no matter how long you live. Never cease to stand like curious children before the great mystery into which we were born. One can achieve anything at any age, whether old or young.
Ageing Like Fine Wine
The phrase “ageing like fine wine” is meant to be used as a compliment to mean someone or something has gotten better over the years. This comparison is usually made because it is believed that the quality and flavor of wine improves over time, therefore getting better with age. When one receives the compliment that they are “ageing like fine wine”, it is intended to mean that they have aged very well for whatever their age may be. It is a tribute to having kept up a pleasant physical appearance as one has aged, and is also a reflection in regards to one’s personality and character. It refers to someone who has become more well-rounded and who is full of knowledge and behaves responsibly with maturity.
Ageing isn’t about getting old - it’s about living, and not merely existing. Learning that we can age well, will actually help us to age better. Let’s start celebrating and living an engaged life, and stop punishing ourselves for not looking a certain way the society deems “appropriate” for our stage in life. We should be holding ourselves accountable for actually taking care of ourselves inside first, knowing the results on the exterior will be a shining side-effect.
The True Meaning Of Ageing Gracefully
Ageing is embracing the ageing process in its totality. Ageing gracefully i.e. with dignity and elegance is supported more definitely by internal applications of virtues like gratitude, contentment, joy and optimism. There is no doubt that a huge obstacle to ageing gracefully is a lack of gratitude. The present moment is all that we have, and we exude gratitude for the peaks and valleys of everydayness.
Adventurous people are naturally curious. They try new things and they don’t allow fear to stop them. They appear ageless because they remain continuously active. They surround themselves with positive like-minded people of all ages and they set big goals. They have events on the calendar that keep them looking forward instead of looking to the past.
If we allow ourselves to feel playful and positive, we’ll keep forever active and we’ll easily attract others into our circle. Our positivity will allow us to think of best-case scenarios. Yes, it is we who will turn a negative conversation around to a positive direction! Our grateful heart will be obvious to all.
We will wake with enthusiasm and gratitude daily and our first thoughts of the day are intentionally chosen. Family and friends will be naturally drawn to us because we are uplifting to be around. We light up a room as we enter. Our consideration and commitment to self-care is apparent as we look rested and people notice a bounce in our steps. We’ll keep ourselves at a healthy weight by eating healthy and exercising.
My Take
“We live in a youth-obsessed culture that is constantly trying to tell us that if we are not young, and we’re not glowing, and we’re not hot, that we don’t matter. I refuse to let a system or a culture or a distorted view of reality tell me that I don’t matter. I know that only by owning who and what you are can you start to step into the fullness of life. Every year should be teaching us all something valuable. Whether you get the lesson is really up to you.” says Oprah Winfrey
Let us be proud of our age at every stage of our lives. We’ve earned every wrinkle or stretch mark or scar. Carry them with grace and pride. Let us roll them all into a whole package that we convey with confidence. Learning to see ourselves as beautiful is the best anti-ageing technique that exists. We can find our personal beauty balance that helps us smile when we see ourselves in the mirror every morning.
I personally doubt if my physical body may be any less efficient and less attractive in my old age. It is my belief that God almighty will continue to endow me with the fervor to strive for the youthful spirit I have sought and continue to do so going forward. In the process my mind would be much richer, my soul enormously broader and my wisdom at its peak. My attitude shall prevail!
So, let us together Grow - Grey - Gracefully!
Know The Author
Inderjit Singh is an Aviation Consultant with the International Civil Aviation Organization (ICAO), Montreal, Canada, a specialized agency in the United Nations System of Organizations. He has served in senior level diplomatic positions in several countries of Asia, South-East Asia, Middle-East, Africa and South America. He was the CEO of IGI Airport –the 9th busiest in the world. He is an MBA, followed by advanced management courses at “Henley-the Management College”, Oxford shire, UK, and the University of California, Berkeley, USA. Inderjit has recently earned Doctorate of Philosophy in International Diplomacy from a renowned Brazilian institution of higher learning.
