I talked a bit last month about my life as a woman living with HIV. Stigma and its impact are a big part of the lives of most women living with HIV. I’m going to spend some time looking at some select findings from the Canadian HIV Women’s Sexual and Reproductive Health Cohort Study specifically as they relate to stigma and its impacts on women living with HIV. One of their presentations in 2017 talks about the need for integrated and coordinated HIV and women’s care, including being responsive to social structural barriers to care, including HIV stigma. The respondents identified the need for peer supports and peer leadership in the design and delivery of care. Peer support is greatly lacking in our current system. The governmental agency responsible for the delivery of care and support for people living with HIV decided quite a few years ago that support services for people living with HIV were no longer an important part of community based agencies and could be provided by health care providers in clinics. The problem with this attitude is that now agencies that used to provide care and support directly to people living with HIV and provide peer support have had their funding either cut drastically or cut entirely. People living with HIV no longer have places to go that provide either peer support or care and support. The landscape has changed so much that women have no place to go that provides support that considers their unique needs. There are two women centred care clinics that provide integrated support to women living with HIV in Toronto and Vancouver and have great success, particularly when they have included women living with HIV as peer support.
http://www.chiwos.ca/chiwos study/?doing_wp_cron=1666213677.8282880783081054687500&lang=en
In another study reported on in 2015, CHIWOS researchers found that “approximately half of [women living with HIV] reported being sexually inactive. Associations with sexual dissatisfaction and high HIV related stigma suggest that [women living with HIV] face challenges
navigating healthy and satisfying sexual lives, despite good HIV treatment outcomes. As half of sexually inactive women reported being satisfied with their sex lives, additional research is required to determine whether [women] are deliberately choosing abstinence as a means of resisting surveillance and disclosure expectations associated with sexual activity. Findings underscore a need for interventions to de stigmatize HIV, support safe disclosure and re appropriate the sexual rights of [women living with HIV]. A close friend of mine who died of an AIDS related infection in the mid 90s referred to herself when she did public presentations as “a walking sexually transmitted disease”. Most women I know feel this way about themselves because of the stigma in the community. U=U has helped alleviate this but women continue to be criminalized for supposed non disclosure of their status. I put this to you: how does a woman prove that she disclosed? A close friend of mine and I have decided that if we ever decide to date again, we will bring the other to witness a document stating that disclosure has happened. Many social workers at community based agencies offer to also bear witness to this disclosure. But women living with HIV are still largely living alone, often as single parents.
Another CHIWOS study reported on in 2015 found that “While geographic access to care is important, available care doesn’t mean accessible care. Researchers, policy makers and service providers need to reconceptualize understandings of access as related to both physical and social distance to care, and to work with women to co create HIV services that reflect women’s diverse identities, localities, emotions, and experiences. Women’s narratives express the need to (1) use technology to create ways that access can be achieved by means other than travel, (2) address stigma and discrimination within healthcare sites, (3) create spaces where women are able to feel a sense of belonging and to talk about women’s issues, and (4) facilitate more opportunities for care delivered by, with and for positive women. “ This study was carried out a full 5 years before COVID 19! We now have some access to care that takes into consideration the need for alternatives to traveling long distances, but this does not address the need for child care as women are usually the primary care giver in the home. I have been providing peer support since 1992 and have found that most women that I have supported have not had someone else to take care of their children if they have to attend an appointment. As a single parent, I often had to take my children with me to my appointments. I used to joke that my son might grow up to be a gynecologist as he was in the room when I had pap smears. These are only three areas that need to be worked on to improve the lives of women living with HIV. For my next piece I’m hoping to interview some women living with HIV about their experiences around testing, support and treatment. If you’re interested in giving input, reach out via messenger to POZPLANET Magazine. I also hope to do a future article focused on WOMEN SPEAK, an exciting new initiative for and by women living with HIV in Canada. Until next time: take good care of yourselves.
~DeborahSend inquires by mesenging POZPLANET Magazine here: https://www.facebook.com/PozplanetMagazine2019
“Get lost, grandpa” said one Facebook friend to another. Their views had not meshed. So the hipster brushed off the wise old man in a way intended to demean, to hurt, to other.
Older people have long been the target not just of insults, but the butt of jokes that few other groups would tolerate. “Ever cracked a joke about old people? It might seem funny, but in a world where the population aged 60 or over is growing faster than all younger age groups, ageism is no laughing matter” says a University of Alberta researcher who has studied the phenomenon. “A lot of societies are really youth-oriented now and don’t really respect or care about older people.”
And then there’s dating. Older folks need company, sexual or otherwise. Older gay men, though, have long complained, whether about the bar scene or the internet, that nobody is interested in them. Profiles of those younger routinely signal that only younger bodies need apply. Throw in an HIV positive status, and dating can be like a wasteland for those of a certain age.
Try finding a job too if you’re able-bodied, keen to work but over 60. Again, it’s a wasteland. Our average life expectancy may have risen to the low 80’s, even for people with HIV, but employers unwillingness to invest in older folks remains unchanged, Walmart’s beloved “greeters” notwithstanding.
Ageing, a process we all go though, is feared, demonised, and fought against. Yet ageism is a practice that few haven’t either engaged in or been on the receiving end of. The University of Alberta’s study suggested up to 91% of all older people
have experienced ageism. Worse, up to 98% of young people admitted to having discriminatory thoughts or behaviours towards older people.
Why? Social scientists say that ageism arises from fear of disability and death. Thus avoiding, segregating, rejecting and yes insulting older people is a form of coping mechanism for those younger. It allows people to avoid thinking about their own mortality.
I think there’s a lot of truth in that. As we grow older, many of us go to great lengths to appear younger than we actually are. A large chunk of our economy has been built around that desire.
In the HIV world, you don’t need to look far to see ageism in action. True, The Silver Zone, a networking area for older adults in the 2022 International AIDS Conference’s Global Village, made an appearance this year. But it happened only after years of the idea being rejected, despite other stigmatized groups being accommodated. AIDS Service Organizations, the backbone of service provision for people living with HIV, are also far from proficient in addressin g seniors’ needs. Only a handful provide specific programming. There are a multitude of reasons; ageism is one of them.
Not that there aren’t rays of hope. Dating prospects of some older gay men have been much improved in recent years by the emergence of “daddies” as a fetishized group attractive to some younger men. If you look the part - silver haired or balding, muscular, hairy – you’re in. Not everybody does. It’s stereotyping at its worst of course but given that daddy culture represents new life for a generation of gay men, or some of them, one doesn’t complain. I can’t help thinking. though that older adults will need to be a little more militant if ageism is to join the catalogue of outlawed “isms”.
We older adults have more power, more ability than we think. Remember this: older people living with HIV, and long term survivors in particular, know the face of stigma. They lived, most of them, through a time when homosexuality was illegal. They were guinea pigs for the drugs that keep us alive today. They’ve fought racism, homophobia, ableism. Ageism is the new frontier. Says the University of Alberta researcher “you can’t discriminate against people who are gay and I’d like to see that happen for older people.”
Photo by Bob Leahy
It all begins with understanding the problem and then promoting greater awareness of
ageism does. In the interim, be nice to your elders.
indigenous community has got it right
generations. They have always respected their elders, treated them as special and revered members of their community. We can learn from that.
“There is no greater form of stigma than when it is written into our laws.” SERO Project founder Sean Strub made that notable remark years ago, in regard to what he considers one of the great moral issues of our time: the prosecution of people living with HIV for no other reason than the fact they are living with a virus.
Link: https://www.seroproject.com/about us/
Criminal consequences range from elevated sentencing for a crime if the defendant is also HIV positive to charges brought against people accused of non disclosure of their status to partners. The issue of non disclosure in particular has led to the imprisonment of people who never harmed anyone (infection isn’t a prerequisite to charges). Defendants often
choose to avoid jury trials, where their HIV status will be exploited and used to discredit them as human beings, and instead plead guilty to lesser crimes they never committed.
It’s a mess. It’s also a vehicle for homophobia, transphobia, and racism, given that prosecutions overwhelmingly affect those on the margins of our society.
Activists the world over have been working on this issue for years, chipping away at these unjust laws and educating legislators to reform criminal statutes.
Never before, though, has a free online training resource been produced that can walk you through the history of HIV criminalization, the impact on people living with HIV, and real world examples of the strategies being used to turn the tide on these prosecutions. Until now.
YouTube Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgYIyOWpaOc
The HIV Justice Network, led by their intrepid director Edwin J. Bernard and his global team of consultants, has just launched the HIV Justice Academy, a brand new global learning and resource hub designed to support people who want to be part of the movement to end HIV criminalization.
You can keep reading, or you can just click over to their amazing site now and begin a truly enriching journey that will educate you, anger you, and hopefully inspire you.
The (completely free!) HIV Justice Academy is comprised of three sections that address three different needs: on demand Online Learning, practical Action Toolkits, and an extensive Resource Library.
The HIV Justice Academy was created to allow for training, organizing and advocacy to continue regardless of the travel and in person meeting limitations we might face in the future. They want to ensure that we continue to build and galvanize the global movement to end punitive laws and policies that impact people living with HIV in all their diversity, with a specific focus on the criminalization of HIV non disclosure, exposure and/or transmission (HIV criminalization).
The online academy, simply put, is an amazing accomplishment and a huge step forward in educating advocates like you and me – while working to put an end to shameful laws that protect no one. Worse, they stigmatize innocent people who are guilty of nothing more than living with an immutable characteristic.
Because what’s the worst kind of stigma, again? When it is written into our laws. Let’s keep working to change that.
As the founding editor of POZPLANET, I have made it my mission to try and tell as many of our stories as possible. Only by sharing our experiences can we guide others on their paths. And after listening to the WOMEN SPEAK panel at the International AIDS Conference in Montreal, I felt it was important to tell more stories of women living with HIV. Unfortunately, their stories are going unheard and sometimes ignored. And it's time we change that. This is why I reached out to someone who has been in the fight and in my circles of activists, but I actually know very little about. Today...I'm gonna change that! Today...let's learn more about activist and long term survivor Maria Mejia
AK: Maria...thank you so much for taking the time to sit down with me for a few questions. How are you today?
MM: I am blessed, and more motivated than ever with my mission and passion.
AK: You know, it's funny...because we live a portion of our lives now online we have a circle of friends and allies who we have never actually met. Would you mind telling our readers a little about yourself? Where you are from? Where you live now?
MM: that is very true, but this is something that I find very important for people living with HIV/AIDS (A support system) Because although many of USA do not know each other in person we have created spiritual bonds l, and that is crucial for people living with this human condition.
Now about me, I am simply a long term survivor of 34 years, not only surviving but thriving. Fighting for others and myself as an international human rights activist, HIV, and LGBTQI advocate, and anything that has to do with discrimination and the violation of human rights.
I was born in Medellín, Colombia and brought to the US at the age of three. Raised in Miami and currently living in Ft Lauderdale Florida. I have also been an activist/advocate for almost 24 years of my life. As I always say, “By helping others, I’m helping myself. And I know I’m living my purpose on this earth and when the mission is complete, I’ll be okay with that as well and ready.”
But there’s so much more to know about me, because I’m a survivor of many things, and my story is very complex. So, I try to live by example and utilize all the terrible things that have happened to me as a child, and adult, to show all human beings a story of perseverance, resilience, and redemption, but my story is not finished yet.
AK: Now, to establish a timeline...would you mind sharing how long you have been HIV+ and maybe what it was like for you to get the diagnosis?
MM: I got HIV at the age of 15 in 1988, when it was a death sentence. Diagnosed at the age of 18, one week after my 18th birthday, in the year of 1991, when it was still a death sentence. I was told I had AIDS in a very cold room with a random test done in a second chance school for troubled teens, called Job Corps. I just thought to myself ‘I’m never going to get married/ have children. My life is over.’ I had no social media or support groups, no access to treatment, didn’t know anyone else with HIV. I was just a young teenager dealing with a death sentence that only my mother and little brother knew about. I hid my statues for many years, as my mother asked of me; not because she was ashamed, but because she knew people were ignorant and would discriminate against me. But I’m still standing like Nipsey Hussle said “Ten toes down”, and firm!
AK: You have a long list of accomplishments and history as an out HIV+ activist. You're an author, an HIV Consultant/Advisor for companies like Johnson & Johnson, a blogger and public speaker. How did you start to become such a powerhouse in the fight against AIDS?
MM: Many people think my activism started in social media, I just saw the monster it was 12 years ago and utilized it to reach the masses. But my activism as far as grass roots, I started in Jackson Memorial Hospital in Special Immunology as a volunteer from 9 5, Monday through Friday. I also volunteer at the Red Cross as an HIV trainer for minorities and undocumented immigrants. And still am a volunteer for the Red Cross.
I was Trained by the health department and became a pre imposed counselor for testing, peer navigator, dictated educational classes for people living with HIV and spoke in churches, jails, schools etc. And little by little was forming the activist I am today.
AK: I think I first came across you in the "International Place For People with HIV/AIDS and The People Who Love Them" facebook group ( https://www.facebook.com/groups/mariahiv ). How long ago did you start the group and what is the goal for it?
MM: As I mentioned above, a support system is crucial for people living with HIV/AIDS, so I wanted to create something that I didn’t have when I was diagnosed, so I created the international group in English around 12 years ago, or more?
The Latin American community and Spain got very upset because not everyone knows English, so I created the international Spanish group. Now both are two of the largest support groups in the world, with a combined number of 40,000 active members.
You see, I never wanted to focus on one specific group, because this is a human condition that affects us all.
Maria and her mother
AK: So, what are you working on now? Are there any organizations you'd like to work with?
MM: I am proud ambassador/CAB member for an amazing women’s organization, ambassador for the CDC, Greater than AIDS, Dab, the AIDS bear project, as co chair for women and minorities. One of the first 12 ambassadors for U=U. I currently help pass legislation for the HIV and LGBTQI community, representing my State of Florida.
I’m also an assistant researcher for the University of Connecticut, interviewing human subjects about MIPA. And I sit in many important boards and do much work behind the scenes, besides mentoring hundreds of women, men, boys, and girls that are coming behind me so I can eventually pass the torch. And much more, but we would be here all day.
AK: And before I let you get back to your busy schedule, what advice would you give to a newly diagnosed woman about her next move?
MM: I would tell her to get on treatment ASAP, because as we know when a person living with HIV gets on treatment and become undetectable, we cannot pass HIV sexually to anyone. ZERO CHANCE. I don’t say it, the medical community and science backs this up. They also must understand that this isn’t the 80s anymore, you can now survive and thrive, get married, have children. And by the way, I’m so very proud of The Well Project’s initiative about breast feeding your child while positive. Something that was unheard of. You can go to school and be a productive citizen. True enough, the STIGMA is real, and that’s the number one killer.
As ACTUP New York says, “Silence=Death”.
So I will continue to show my face, along with others, to take the STIGMA away and humanize this condition that affects millions all over the world.
I will continue to show this face with much humility, dignity and respect and will continue to lead by example; that if you do what you’re supposed to do you can live a long healthy life until the cure comes.
Love and Light, María Mejia.
Listen to the mix here: https://www.mixcloud.com/djrelentlessny/ear candy november 2022
Download the video of this mix here: https://krakenfiles.com/view/5KIPXAvN2I/file.html
Check out DJ Relentless’ Mixcloud page: https://www.mixcloud.com/djrelentlessny
Check out DJ Relentless’ HearThis page: https://hearthis.at/djrelentlesstoronto
Damn...is it already November? Can't believe it...we lost Loretta Lynn, the U.K. lost another Prime Minister, Rihanna makes a major announcement and I've got twenty one tracks that I think you should hear. There's a lot depending on this month and maybe...just maybe a few of these songs will help you get through it. Music has always been my savior.
So, let’s get to it…shall we?
I bet a lot of the people who follow me and this column probably would not believe that I have Country roots. But growing up in the south (Tampa. Florida) Saturday evenings around 7 PM was “Hee Haw” time and all of the big Country superstars made guest appearances. “Hee Haw” was a variety comedy show. That’s how I got introduced to many Country artists.
If you don’t know the legend of Loretta Lynn you don’t know Country Music. I would say Miss Lynn was a feminist in a genre that was dominated by men. And with songs like “The Pill” she was standing up for women’s reproductive rights in a time when women were expected to stay home and have babies. And one of my favourites has always been “Fist City”. So when I found this mashup with LL Cool J’s “Mama Said Knock You Out” I had to start this month’s mix off with it. Rest in peace, Loretta.
Our second song is one of those best friend holding you up after a break up song. “Bitch Back” by Olivia O’Brien ft FLETCHER is a fun Pop song and video. As a DJ, I don’t live on the dance floor all the time. A good Pop song to sing along with is important too.
The third track in our mix is collaboration between Calvin Harris, Charlie Puth & Shenseea…”Obsessed”. I guess the formula in Pop music today is to pile on as many names as possible. You’re bound to attract some listener who appreciates one of the genres. Calvin is known for his Pop Club sensibility. Charlie is being marketed as the next heartthrob. And Shenseea is the new Pop Reggae crossover artist. The song…it’s cute. Will it be a big hit? I don’t think so. Not unless there’s a serious House mix that comes along.
So, Nicki Minaj is complaining that “Super Freaky Girl” got moved from the Grammy’s Hip Hop category to Pop where she believes she is likely to lose. I think they did the right thing. No one was going to give her a Grammy for her ridiculous Thug Girl raps. She made her way to the top of the Pop charts with catchy Pop hooks. I don’t consider her Hip Hop either. And “Super Freaky Girl” is as Pop as you can get.
But Nicki is coming at you with a Jamaican Patois track with Skeng called “Likkle Miss”. I guess she’s switchin’ up the game and relying on her Caribbean street cred to maintain that she’s really Hip Hop. I think she should just accept the lane that she has carved out for herself. Nicki’s journey has changed the Hip Hop game and made it more acceptable to be a Pop artist.
And our fifth track is a product of what Nicki created. Just as she owes her career to Lil Kim, Lakeyah & Latto owe their time in the spotlight to Nicki Minaj. And these two have teamed up for “Mind Yo Business”. It samples “Get Fucked Up” by Iconz and is quite catchy.
Our next artist is Rêve and I am hoping to meet her at the CANFAR event Bloor Street Entertains where my alter ego Jade Elektra will be making an appearance and she will be headlining with Brooke Lynn Hytes. Her latest single “Whitney” is quite catchy and hopefully will but Canada on the Pop charts again. I’m also hoping that there will be some hot remixes of this song.
How many of you remember Jaboukie Young-White from his stint on The Daily Show with Trevor Noah? He was the openly gay young person of colour and I thought he was a pretty good addition to the show. But I noticed during the pandemic that Jaboukie’s appearances became fewer and fewer. Well, he’s back as a recording artist. And his debut single is called “BBC”. And no…he ain’t talking about the TV channel! It’s a cute track and I imagine with a few remixes he could have a minor hit on his hands. Not clear on what he was going for with the music video. But he’s just dippin’ his toe in the water. If he’s serious about a music career he’ll figure it out.
The eighth selection is a cover of a 90s House Classic….”Gypsy Woman (She’s Homeless)” by Nicholas Ryan Gant. This is my first time hearing of him. My producer for Jade Elektra and good friend, Erik Elias turned me on to the track. And I have to say…he did dat shit! If you’re gonna cover something, you should make it your own by the time you are finished. Still love Crystal Waters’ version but I think this is a great updated version.
If you hadn’t heard, Rihanna announced that she will be the headliner for the next Super Bowl. There’s plenty of speculation of who will be a special guest on that day. But I’m hoping she drops a new single. Her fans have been waiting so long for some new Rih Rih. I guess that’s why it seems every other month there is a remix of one of her older hits.
Our ninth selection is the James Godfrey Club Mix of “Pon De Replay 2022”. I’ve heard a few different Club mixes of this song but I think this is the definitive remix. It is definitely going into rotation in my video shows and sets. And the new song on the Wakanda Forever soundtrack doesn’t count as a new single! At least not in my book.
And speaking of Pop songs getting makeovers, the tenth song in this mix is “Pump It Louder” by Tiësto & The Blaclk Eyed Peas. Another case of a remixer sticking their name before the original artist instead of saying it’s a remix. Now…compared to the original this is such an improvement. Tiësto definitely made this song Club friendly. If the original had been at this speed I probably would have played it.
“The Club Is Jumpin’” by Alok is a total rip off of “Jumpin’ Jumpin’” by Destiny’s Child
Another big hit from the 90s was the rowdy “Jump Around” by House Of Pain. The Hawk Club Mix brings this Hip Hop classic into 2022 as a hot Banga for the floor.
Our thirteenth track is the PeteDown Remix of “I’m Good (Blue)” by David Guetta & Bebe Rexha vs Fanatic. Now, there’s plenty of remixes of this one but I found mine with PeteDown. Often many try to reinvent the wheel, but Pete just kept it simple and straight to the point. And you can still hear the influence of “Blue (Da Ba Dee)” by Eiffel 65. Now, to be honest…I never liked this song, but I don’t mind the melody being used on this Club track.
These days it seems we are revisiting the 90s…especially the 90s Ballroom scene. And “OVAH” by Res Wes + DJ Naughtyboyy relives Ballroom lingo with a 2022 Club friendly production. And you won’t be able to get “You’re not OVAH until I say you’re OVAH” out of your head!
Only Beyoncé could release an album and not do any videos for it at all and still dominate the clubs. DJs are tripping over themselves to play and remix songs from this one! And the Alex Ramos Cunty Mix of “Pure Honey” is servin’ the heat in all these fall temperatures! So, I snagged ThePopDiva93 video edit of POSE clips and re edited them to fit Alex’s remix to create a video.
And speaking of 90s Ballroom, my alter ego Jade Elektra has a new album dropping this month called “Legendary, Darling!”. It’s a collection of Jade’s early tracks like “Bitch You Look Fierce”, “Why Are You Gaggin’?” and “How Do I Look?”. The original version of “How Do I Look?” by Jade & Midnight Society is tied up in litigation over publishing. I never even signed anything to have it released. So, Erik Elias and I decided to re record it and give it a completely new vocal and production. You’ll have to buy the album to hear it. But the original version has a video with clips from Wolfgang Busch’s documentary of the same name. And I thought it would be good to introduce you to both. Think of it as a preview of what’s to come.
“Legendary, Darling!” is due out on November 2nd on most platforms (Spotify, YouTube, iTunes aka Apple Music, Beatport, etc). Buying the actual album is the best way to support an artist.
For our seventeenth selection is “Always Feel Like” by Alok…really tired track! I guess this person (‘cuz there is no information about who it is) thought it would be cool to steal a hook from Rockwell’s “Somebody’s Watching Me”, rename it and release it before Halloween. When will this “track appropriation” end?
It seems like there are at least fifteen different remixes for “Unholy” by Sam Smith & Kim Petras. And most have that sneakers in a dryer production. I thought Circuit ended back in the mid 2000s but some queens just won’t let it go! So, when I found the DJ Dark Remix I rejoiced! Then I quickly edited a video for it.
Toni Braxton celebrated her 55th birthday last month and to celebrate I remixed one of my favourites songs for our nineteenth track. I present the Relentlessly Touched Vocal of “Seven Whole Days”! I always wished that there had been a House mix and now there is!
Lizzo is back with “2 Be Loved (Am I Ready) and the Pnau Remix made this Pop song accessible to Club DJs. Not one of my favs by her and the music video seems like a sequel to her “Truth Hurts” video. Probably written when she was still single.
And our final selection is “Doja” by Cenral Cee. At first I was intrigued by the sample of Eve’s “Let Me Blow Ya Mind” with Gwen Stefani but as I examined the lyrics I became a little disturbed. British rappers sometimes absorb some of the homophobia that American rappers exude and it seems Central Cee is doing just that. Him saying he “can’t be homophobic because his bitch is gay” just rubs me the wrong way. Other than some problematic lyrics, I like his flow and I’m sure this would make a great 2 Step remix. I don’t see him going very far as a crossover. Good luck, buddy. Might wanna re evaluate your lyrical choices.
