Greg Louganis Praises ‘Bold’ New Book about Love, Sex and Survival
It felt presumptuous of me to believe I have much in common with historic Olympian Greg Louganis. His level of fame, his record-shattering sports career, and the worldwide scrutiny he faced when he went public with his HIV status in 1995 are all beyond anything I could imagine.
And yet, I also knew Greg to be achingly human in his vulnerability and his desire to be heard and understood. I can relate to those traits.
Find this blog and more at: https://marksking.com
Mark S. King and Greg Louganis in 2018
Greg and I met at the home of a mutual friend in 2018. He was genuine, kind, and eager to talk about anything but himself. We’ve kept in touch via the social media ritual of likes and cross-posting, but we haven’t seen each other since.
And then I had the audacity to ask him to write the foreword for my new book of essays, My Fabulous Disease: Chronicles of a Gay Survivor. He said yes. Just like that. It turns out Greg has been reading and appreciating my stories through the years. I hope you’ll buy the book. It represents a lifetime of trying my best to tell the truth about HIV, survival, love, sex, family, addiction and recovery, and navigating a changing world during tumultuous times
And it has the Greg Louganis seal of approval, as it turns out. I could not be more grateful.
Here is Greg’s foreword. Thanks for reading, my friends.
Foreword to My Fabulous Disease: Chronicles of a Gay Survivor
When Mark reached out to ask if I’d consider writing the foreword for this book, I was deeply touched. He has been writing honestly and in real time about living
with HIV over the span of four decades, beginning not long after he was diagnosed in 1985. As long-term HIV survivors we share so much, including gratitude and resilience. Also, there’s a joy for the life we’re able to live now and a reverence for our ability to survive the trauma of the darkest days.
When I first was diagnosed, I felt I had to hide it from the world, aside from my closest friends and family. There was so much we didn’t know about the disease and a plethora of disinformation. It was a difficult time to not feel judged. Stigma surrounding the disease was hard to endure, and we questioned if we would ever find happiness or love. Thankfully, so much has changed, but we still have a way to go.
I applaud Mark’s courage in making such a bold contribution to our history. Mark’s writing presents people living with HIV as the multidimensional people we are, who fall in love, crack jokes, have sexual misadventures, and be funny and thoughtful— and sometimes not so thoughtful. Because, after all, we are human.
This is what I love about Mark’s writing: We see a complete, authentic perspective on both the mundane and the ridiculous moments that make up a life. HIV is only part of our lives and Mark knows this and shares it, moving beyond HIV to include essays about gay life, his recovery from addiction and more.
Sharing stories helps you heal and helps the people you share them with. Having been in my own downward spiral due to depression, I understand the struggles with this deeply. So many LGBTQ people are affected by alcohol and drug misuse, addiction and other mental health issues. In the most challenging moments it always helps to know you are not alone. Mark’s writing reminds the reader of this simple but important fact. We are definitely not alone.
In my Samoan heritage we have “Talk Story” as a way for elders to share wisdom with younger generations. Mark’s willingness to be bold and speak his truth reminds me of this, as well as my own journey. HIV disclosure is a challenge for anyone, so it’s inspiring for people living with HIV to recognize themselves in the stories and transparency of others.
I think our real legacy is about inspiring people. When our time here ends, none of us ever really know all the lives we’ve touched. My mother always told me, and I live by this: “Make everywhere you go better because you were there.” That’s just
one of the many pieces of wisdom I carry with me from her. Mark’s legacy will include this book and all of the writing he has yet to do. By sharing his thoughts and stories he is preserving history and inspiring other people to embrace life the mundane and the ridiculous.
Mark’s book is as likely to make you laugh as it is to make you cry, sometimes in the same essay. Just like life itself.
Greg Louganis Actor, Author and Olympic Gold Medalist(My Fabulous Disease: Chronicles of a Gay Survivor is available to order now through online platforms or from your favorite bookstore. Check the book events page for updates on the book tour.)
ORDER HERE: h#ps://bookshop.org/p/books/my-fabulous-disease-chronicles-of-a-gay-survivormark-s-king/19950306?ean=9798987721407
Bomb threat over Drag Storytime clears Way for New Jersey LGBTQ Center
The Princeton Police Department received an email from an unknown person containing derogatory remarks aimed at LGBTQIA members
Link: https://www.losangelesblade.com/2023/08/29/bomb-threat-over-drag-storytime-clears-nj-lgbtq-center
Magazine
PRINCETON, N.J. – A drag queen story hour at the Bayard Rustin Center For Social Justice located in central Princeton, just off the campus of Princeton University, was abruptly called off after police received a bomb threat communicated via an email.
Sarah Salvadore, a field editor for the local Patch reported:
Robt Martin Seda-Schreiber, founder of the Bayard Rustin Center with drag performer Harmonica Sunbeam, April 2023. (Photo Credit: Bayard Rustin Center)
Note: Harmonica Sunbeam was featured the December 2021 issue of POZPLANET
Around 10:49 a.m., the Princeton Police Department received an email from an unknown person containing derogatory remarks aimed at LGBTQIA members and those affiliated with the Bayard Rustin Center for Social Justice (BRCSJ), police said.
Officers were immediately dispatched to the building and the occupants were evacuated. A canine sweep of the building and surrounding area was completed, and no explosive devices were found, police said.
Around 12:40 p.m., the occupants were allowed back into the building.
The police issued a statement on August 28: “On Saturday, August 26, at 10:49 a.m., the Princeton Police Department received an e-mail communication from an unknown author. The e-mail contained derogatory remarks aimed at LGBTQIA members and those affiliated with the Bayard Rustin Center for Social Justice. Additionally, the author stated numerous explosive devices were placed in and around the Bayard Rustin Center for Social Justice.
“Police officers were dispatched to the building and the occupants were immediately evacuated. A canine sweep of the building and surrounding area was completed, and no explosive devices were found. At about 12:40 p.m., the occupants were allowed back into the building.
“The Detective Bureau is conducting a follow-up investigation into the case. When more information is available, an additional press release will be issued.”
Reacting to the threat, Robt Martin Seda-Schreiber, founder of the Bayard Rustin Center said in a statement:
“The Bayard Rustin Center for Social Justice is founded on the very principle of building family through community as our queer ancestors have always done. The safe-space we offer to our LGBTQIA youth, intersectional families, & all our beautifully diverse folx is not only a physical entity but indeed something we carry within our hearts & our souls. These despicable actions threatened, this dishonest bigoted rhetoric espoused, this abhorrent hate will only ever be answered by a stronger, braver, & more empowering message of love.
This darkness will always & ever be dispelled by the light of us gathering together, more resilient & more stalwart in strength & solidarity. This principle was put into direct & robust action today as this bomb threat might’ve kept us from our BRCSJ HQ but did not stop us from gathering together in Beloved Community & in family, chosen & otherwise,” Seda-Schreiber said.
“We simply took a fabulous field trip down the block to a nearby stoop & shared our stories, created community, & embraced each other, both literally & figuratively, with great respect & even more LOVE! We want to thank all the family & community members who showed up & glowed up today, our Drag Queen Carrie Dragshaw, whose lack of wig was made up by far more spirit, & the Princeton Police Department who were kind & considerate as they did their due diligence to keep us all safe,” SedaSchreiber added.
The drag queen Carrie Dragshaw (also known as Dan Clay), read stories at the new location, but wearing a baseball cap instead of his wig, left behind in the quick relocation.
(Photo by Robert Zurfluh/Bayard Rustin Center)
Last month in POZPLANET, there was a piece about HIV s=gma. I am a peer researcher on the Alberta HIV S=gma Index and an advisory commiFee member on a na=onal HIV an=-s=gma project. I am co-author on a published paper on HIV s=gma in Alberta and am working on a third on U=U and our findings in the Alberta HIV S=gma Index. I have done presenta=ons to healthcare workers, the community of people living with HIV and the wider community on the findings of HIV s=gma research. So the state of HIV s=gma in Canada is close to my heart. While there were some statements that were said in the ar=cle that I agree with, there are some that I do not, based on the research findings I have seen and the people living with HIV I have talked to, as a peer researcher and as a peer support person. I also con=nue to witness HIV s=gma being directed at people living with HIV and am a target of s=gma=zing ac=ons by others.
Interes=ngly, a comparison was drawn between the HIV Legal Network’s HIV is Not a Crime campaign and how we talk about HIV s=gma. Has the criminaliza=on of non-disclosure become much beFer in Canada? Yes. Does that mean that criminaliza=on of non-disclosure of HIV doesn’t happen any longer? No. We have to be careful to not assume that just because something hasn’t happened to you, that it hasn’t happened to anyone else. So many people are s=ll dealing with the fallout of criminaliza=on of people living with HIV in Canada. Some will be dealing with this fallout for the rest of their lives. Even though we have made great strides in Canada around criminaliza=on of HIV non-disclosure, it is not universal. Some provinces followed the lead of the Federal Government (which only affects territories) and created prosecutorial guidelines. The Federal guidelines read: (hFps://www.hivlegalnetwork.ca/site/wpcontent/uploads/2019/05/HIV-criminaliza=on-Info-Sheet-1.pdf )
• “ The Director [of Public Prosecu3ons] shall not prosecute HIV non-disclosure cases where the person living with HIV has maintained a suppressed viral load, i.e. under 200 copies per ml of blood, because there is no realis3c possibility of transmission.
• The Director shall generally not prosecute HIV non-disclosure cases where the person has not maintained a suppressed viral load but used condoms or engaged only in oral sex or was taking treatment as prescribed, unless other risk factors are present, because there is likely no realis3c possibility of transmission.
• The Director shall prosecute HIV non-disclosure cases using non-sexual offences, instead of sexual offences, where non-sexual offences more appropriately reflect the wrongdoing commiJed, such as cases involving lower levels of blameworthiness.
• The Director shall consider whether public health authori3es have provided services to a person living with HIV who has not disclosed their HIV status prior to sexual ac3vity when determining whether it is in the public interest to pursue a prosecu3on against that person.”
These guidelines are a good. Some provinces, like Alberta, did not create guidelines but instead “advised prosecutors”. Some provinces s=ll have no direc=ves to prosecutors. This leaves open the possibility of people living with HIV being criminalized for non-disclosure. Un=l we have clear direc=on being sent to the judicial system, which includes law enforcement, people living with HIV live in fear of being criminalized. So, we need the HIV is Not a Crime campaign un=l we are certain that the en=re judicial system in Canada understands that living with HIV is not a crime.
Believing that the END HIV STIGMA campaign has only a “moderate poten=al” to end s=gma and is “=red messaging” misses the point of an=-s=gma campaigns. The ar=cle also states that “we make the mistake of naming [s=gma]” therefore “we reinforce that HIV and s=gma are…intertwined.” Saying that HIV and s=gma are not intertwined does not make it so. Tellingly, one person quoted in the ar=cle stated “…I didn’t know HIV s=gma was s=ll around.” And yet it is. The data proves it. The fact that even one person believes s=gma is not around highlights the privilege that exists when we talk about s=gma. Are there some people living with HIV who rarely experience s=gma? The answer is yes. Does that mean that HIV s=gma no longer exists and no longer needs to be addressed? No.
I reiterate: just because something doesn’t happened to you, doesn’t mean it doesn't happen to others. When we are talking about s=gma, this is important. Many people of privilege living with HIV rarely experience s=gma. Many people living with HIV con=nue to experience s=gma: women living with HIV, Indigenous and Black people living with HIV, people of colour, transpeople and from marginalized popula=ons of people living with HIV, for example people who use substances, or the unhoused.
Let’s start with the data:
A meta-analysis of s=gma research in 2016 ( hFps://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27412106/ ) “found significant associa=ons between HIV-related s=gma and higher rates of depression, lower social support and lower levels of adherence to an=retroviral medica=ons and access to and usage of health and social services.“
In Alberta, the HIV S=gma Index, a quan=ta=ve and qualita=ve study carried out between 2019 and 2021, (hFps://doi.org/10.46743/2160-3715/2023.5238; note: some of the data I am sharing is from the Index and not from the published study) found: 48 % of the survey respondents believed that it was likely or very likely that neighbours and others in the community would avoid them or look down on them because of their HIV status. 49 % reported that it was likely or very likely that neighbours or others in the community would treat them differently because of their HIV status. 58 % decided not to have sex or sexual rela=onships because of their HIV status. 47 % reported that HIV nega=vely affected their ability or
willingness to have close and secure rela=onships with others. “78% agreed or strongly agreed that people with HIV are treated like outcasts. Addi=onally, a range of experiences of HIV s=gma and discrimina=on were reported at the personal level. The most common experiences reported included overhearing conversa=ons that were s=gma=zing to people living with HIV in general (66%), being subjected personally to discriminatory remarks (42%), and being harassed or verbally abused (37%).”
When I was carrying out the research in Edmonton, I had a woman living with HIV whom I was interviewing break down in tears when she was told about U=U because she felt that now people would stop trea=ng her badly. As a peer support person, I have witnessed Indigenous and Black women living with HIV being treated horrifically by health care professionals. One incident, a healthcare worker in the ER screamed at a Black woman living with HIV because she had not immediately disclosed her HIV status. This woman was sick and in need of help and believed that informa=on would be in the healthcare system. I confronted the healthcare worker and reminded her that she was supposed to be using universal precau=ons, with everyone, so she did not need to know the woman’s HIV status. The woman I was suppor=ng was at her most vulnerable and needing support, not needing to be screamed at. There are women living with HIV in Canada who have had children’s services threaten to apprehend their children if they breasreed them. There are many women living with HIV who have had people, including people in the healthcare system, treat them badly because they are thinking about having a child or are pregnant. Women living with HIV have had children’s services threaten to apprehend their children if they are sick and in need of support. I was one of those women. I had to go to the media, talk to a poli=cian who saw my story and appeal the decision of children’s services to a supervisor. In the end, a social worker from my local clinic and I met with them. The argument that worked? Not that it would be beFer for my children to remain with me. Not that my health and well-being would be devastated if they were removed from my home. Nope: that it would be cheaper for them to put support services for me in place in my home than to put my children in care.
This is the kind of s=gma that people living with HIV deal with constantly, especially women living with HIV and people from marginalized communi=es.
One of the papers published aser the HIV S=gma Index was carried out in Ontario (Impact of experienced HIV s=gma on health is mediated by internalized s=gma and depression: results from the people living with HIV s=gma index in Ontario | BMC Public Health | Full Text (biomedcentral.com)) “found that experiences of prejudice or discrimina=on can lead to internaliza=on of nega=ve thoughts regarding one’s HIV status and/or increased depressive symptoms which then may lead to worse overall health. Highligh=ng the importance of internalized s=gma and depression has the poten=al to shape the development of targeted interven=on strategies aimed at reducing the burden of s=gma and improving the health and wellbeing of people living with HIV.”
There is a wealth of informa=on and data about the impact of s=gma on the health and wellbeing of people living with HIV. When we ignore s=gma, or pretend it doesn’t exist, it doesn’t just magically disappear. It affects the lives of people living with HIV. It affects the lives of the people around them who are trying to support them to live their best lives. We need to end HIV
s=gma now! People living with HIV deserve beFer. We have not “processed it [s=gma] and moved on”. It is s=ll happening in some of our lives on a regular basis.
I also strongly encourage readers to read the links that I included in this ar=cle. There is a wealth of informa=on on s=gma. We need to educate ourselves and push for ac=on on s=gma, rather than pretending it doesn’t exist. Where the ar=cle gets it right is at the end when it states: “ending s=gma requires a conversa=on which goes in new direc=ons and listens to people living with HIV.” Next year there will be a number of HIV an=-s=gma projects being carried out across Canada. Will they have an impact on HIV s=gma? I hope so. Doing nothing certainly has had no impact on s=gma for many people living with HIV
Do you want to know more about HIV S=gma? At the 2023 the Canadian Associa=on for HIV Research (CAHR) conference this summer, a video was made by the Community AIDS Treatment Informa=on Exchange (CATIE) on HIV s=gma. hFps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2r8GYTPfzMg
We are sexual beings and should not be ashamed of that. Harness your pride, your sexuality and take control of your sexual health to help build a generation free of HIV and stigma. Get tested. Know your status . Get PrEP or the meds you need to be healthy. More info here:
https://mybodymyhealth.org/sex-positivity
Life takes on many turns and changes. And o6en I ask myself did I make the right decision in this instance or circumstance. What would have happened if I had stayed in Tampa, Florida where I was born? Would I have had the same opportuniBes laid before me . Obviously not. I can honestly say that if I had not le6 my home state and moved to New York City in 1992 my life would have been drasBcally different. And with the things I have accomplished and the work that I am doing now as an HIV acBvist I have confirmed that I made the right choice. In my opinion, I have become an Agent of Change.
And a6er visiBng my adopted brother, Anthony in Lexington, North Carolina, I figured out that we are all Agents of Change. I call Anthony my adopted brother because I have an actual sibling named Anthony. But this Anthony is my chosen family. He is one of my oldest and dearest friends.
A few years back, Anthony and I had a falling out about small town living. I was definitely made to live in a metropolis. I need diversity, public transportaBon and a convenient store around the corner. Apartment living is just fine for me. I will probably never own a home. That’s not what’s important to me. Whereas my brother likes the rural experience. Anthony enjoys that kind of atmosphere or being close to a beach.
Somehow in that discussion I must have offended him because he said that he had come to the conclusion that I felt like I was beSer than him and put down folks in a small town. Which sounds a lot like what is going on in the United States today with Middle America being mad at Wall Street and the Government. The rise of “Trumpism” has to do with the riff between small towns and big ciBes…the misconcepBon that they are so different. When in reality they are more alike than they would ever believe. It’s just one is on a larger scale but the same things are going on.
Well, somehow we got past that uncomfortable conversaBon and conBnued our 35 year friendship. That unpleasantness happened before 2016.
So for my 56th birthday, I decided to go visit Anthony since I had not seen him since he helped me pack to move to Toronto back in December of 2009. His health has not been great over the past decade and because he is on dialysis he can’t really travel unless someone else is driving. My husband and I don’t drive. So, It took a horrible 44 hour Greyhound bus trip to get to the nearest staBon to Lexington…Greensboro, North Carolina.
Anthony is the sweetest and kindest person I know. Everyone who knows him loves him. He is the salt of the earth. And he is never short on stories or shared experiences in a conversaBon. A fact that my husband found out while we were there. In his many stories he told us about a few friends he had to disassociate himself from because of Donald Trump and his rhetoric.
Listening to him talk about people who had known since grade school that could not see the significance and importance of Black Lives Ma5er or how systemic racism has plagued the Black Community for centuries made me reflect on Jason Aldean’s Country hit, “Try That In A Small Town”. While packing for this visit, I made sure that I didn’t pack any shirts or hats that were too gay. Since I have moved to Canada, the states have become more and more the stereotype that Canadians believed all along. Lots of folks with guns everywhere. Displays of racism everywhere. Hate crimes on the rise. Not that these things don’t exist in Canada…it’s just on a smaller scale because the populaBon is smaller than the U.S.
For me, moving to NYC in 1992 was the best thing I could have done for myself. Yes…I moved to hide my HIV status from my family. But it opened other doors for me to learn and grow as a person. I had life experiences that became part of LGBT History. And in my own small way I helped change a few things along the way. That’s what I mean by Agents of Change. I realize now that we all play a part in that change.
I know that Anthony someBmes feels down because he can’t do all the things he used to but he is doing what he can with what he’s got. And he too is an Agent of Change. Anthony is part of something important too. His work is in a small town. He is the litmus test of tolerance for many of the white people in Lexington. He’s black. He’s gay. He’s a Democrat in the conservaBve state where Jesse Helms held the Senator’s office for many years.
And that got me to thinking about everyone’s role in life. We all play a part in what happens in this world. Some on larger scales than others but sBll important. From the man who picks up your garbage to the man who signs your paycheque…we are all worker bees who make up the hive. And if you want to change the world you have to change your world.
This means talking with your immediate family and friends about what’s important to you…voBng, U=U and all the social injusBces that need to be addressed in order for us a species to grow into the world we should be. Because unBl we all have rights and are free none of us are. hSps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BMl4tNDXSmU
Last year I had the pleasure of doing a Canadian TV show called "1 Queen, 5 Queers" for an episode about aging in the LGBTQ2+ Community. I knew two of the other panelists but became friends with the other two...LGBT senior activist, Lezlie Lee Kam and Daniel Uy. Today I would like to introduce you to Mr. Daniel Uy.
I just saw Lezlie recently at a Hot Docs screening of the documentary “Supporting Our Selves” and it was really good and excited to see other 1Queen5Queer alumni in the film. (Link: https://supportingourselves.com )
AK: Daniel...so good to finally sit down and have a chat. Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule for this interview. How are you?
DU: Alphonso! Thank you for having me. I have been well, and yes, quite active right now. I am just back from a trip with Mister to Montreal Pride and the World Congress of Sociology of Sport conference in Ottawa where I presented a piece of my research on racialized queer gym spaces. I have this brief window before I start my PhD schoolwork, so I guess we can call this the ‘back to school’ special of the magazine!
AK: Would you mind telling our readers a little about yourself? Where you are from...what's your background (as in heritage)?
DU: Yes, for sure. I am a 47yr old queer mixed-race man from Toronto. I know, I am homegrown from here, which is a rarity. My father was first generation Chinese diaspora from the Philippines. His father was from China and his mother, my Apo, was half Chinese half Filipino from the Pampanga province and spoke Kapampangan, Philippine Hokkien Chinese, as well as the majority Tagalog, and some English. My mother is fourth or fifth generation Canadian born on this land, but her family traces back to the UK and Europe – Irish, English and Scottish. But I usually say ChineseIrish for short hand. My last name, phonetically sounds like ‘ooey’ follows a similar diasporic journey that my grandfather took from China, to the Philippines. And now, here I am.
While I have had several jobs in a variety of industries, I would say that teaching yoga for the past 15 years has definitely been a big part of my own healing, health and wellbeing.
AK: So, we ask this of everyone who is featured in this column...how long have you been HIV+ and what was it like when you got your diagnosis?
DU: I found out I HIV+ in September 1997. So, happy 26th birthday to me. When I was diagnosed, HIV was still a death sentence and access to medication and assistance was only for those fortunate enough to get on studies or who had economic resources.
My family doctor, who was the one to tell me, got me a specialist at St. Michael’s Hospital in Toronto, and they made it possible for me to go on a study. The medication was horrible and I would say I was sick for most of that year just from that alone, regardless of the mental, emotional, societal shame and fear that came with it. It was definitely a dark time. For much of my 20s I was self-medicating as a means to cope with life and to drown my own pain. There are only a handful of men I knew who were diagnosed as young as I was and have been living with HIV as long as I have. In fact, you interviewed one of them a few months ago.
At that time there were no services for young people, or for Asian people. There were only a small handful of AIDS service organizations and it was hard to discuss things or feel included. After a decade or so and I realized I was considered a long-term survivor and tried to reach out to support groups then but everyone was a decade or so older than me and dealing with much different life problems. It made it hard to see myself within the support networks and harder to ask for help. I am so glad now that places like Positive Youth Outreach (PYO https://www.actoronto.org/programsservices/positive-youth-outreach-pyo ) and Asian Community AIDS Services (ACAS https://acas.org/about/about-acas ) are around now to help. I am hoping to sit down with Marc from PYO for a coffee soon. And I have had the fortune of being involved with Sex, Love, and Asian Men! (SLAM!) Forum from ACAS the past two years. It is wonderful to help share and learn with people in the field.
While my trajectory has not always been forward, there were many times it felt like the hokey pokey – two steps forward, one step back – I am delighted to say that since U=U science came about around 2015, there have definitely been some shifts in ideology, outlook, and opportunities in life. Now I would say we are in a much better place and that diagnosis to treatment to wellness is a much shorter journey. Still, that is not to say that the lasting implications of trauma, poor drug trials, and rejection have not taken their toll on us as a community or continues to. We all do not heal at the same speed over the same things and it is definitely a process. It is a bit why I am
cognizant to say or produce myself as this great ‘after’ picture. Having said that, despite managing multiple health challenges, I am in such a great position mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually than I have been in a long time. I am giving life the best version of Daniel I have to offer right now, and I am so grateful to have the opportunity to do that.
AK: When we did the TV show, I became interested in what you had to say about yoga. How did you get into yoga and what made you become an instructor?
DU: If you are interested, we should do a class together sometime! But thanks, doing that show was such a ‘welcome back’ to society and queer life and an eclectic grouping of other older queer people that felt nourishing for my psyche.
But yeah, I got into yoga as sort of a by-product of early HIV medication management. I started in hot yoga in 2003 as a way to detox and attempted to learn and cultivate different ways of managing and self-care, but I do not think that is what we would have called it at that time. My interest in yoga grew and that knowledge made me want to become a teacher.
AK: Does yoga help manage your health? What are some of the benefits?
DU: I would say in the beginning it was helping me figure out how to be or live healthy, yes. I practiced a lot of hot yoga initially almost daily and that requires a replenishing of water, you sweat so much, and over so many days that eventually you do not have as much crap floating around in your body. And when laying on the floor at the end of class, or even in the poses, you have time to think about the choices you make – not just in life, like ‘why am I here?’ or ‘where am I going?’ – but like tangible things like ‘maybe I should eat a bit better and this maybe will not hurt as
much’ or ‘maybe I have an addiction problem?’ In the dark, warm, quiet room at the end of class thoughts that you may be afraid to ask yourself in the light of day bubble to the surface. So, it is about taking that stuff I learned on the yoga mat and taking it into my life and my world. It was about a few years later that I got clean and sober and started living an abstinent life. Wait. Abstinent from drugs and alcohol. Not the sex thing. Although there was a period where I tried that and it did not go well.
In 2008 I did my first yoga teacher training intensive, and I never really looked back from that. Since then, I went on to do seven other ones, including personal training certification, pilates instruction, I learned how to do shiatsu massage and Thai yoga massage. I was just really hungry to learn and know more. I ended up teaching a couple yoga classes in what was called Xtreme Fitness at the time and was there that I really started to shine. I would never have thought of myself as a gym person or defined myself as ‘fit’ but organically just learning and growing in yoga I developed strength and flexibility in body and mind that I had not realized. I would say that teaching was also a huge part of my learning. Learning about myself and what I was capable of, but also on how to relay that information to others of different backgrounds and perspectives. Eventually I started teaching for Goodlife Fitness and worked there for a decade teaching at some of the biggest gyms in Toronto and had a huge popular following at some of my classes. But my real learning was that sweet time at Xtreme Fitness before I became popular.
It was then when I started writing out a teaching website and the ‘how did you get started in yoga’ and I was not sure if I was going to talk about me being HIV+ or not. I sort of sat with it for a couple days if I was going to post that or not. But the next day, I ran into another yoga teacher who was closeted about their HIV status and almost broke into tears at me openly discussing mine with them. And then, the day after that, I got a call from another yoga teacher who was told to reach out to me because they just found out they tested positive for HIV. After that call is when it was a no-brainer for me, and I have been public about it ever since.
The learning more still continued and in 2016, I eventually decided to start back at university which I had stopped just shortly before becoming HIV+. Now I have not only finished my bachelor’s degree at Toronto Metropolitan University (formerly Ryerson University when I started there), and a master’s degree in social anthropology at York University, but I am gearing up to start my PhD in Kinesiology at the University of Toronto this fall under the supervision of Dr. Janelle Joseph.
AK: You are also going to be a part of the Queer & Trans Research Lab at the University of Toronto. I was a resident last year and felt it was a great program. While sharing my experience as a Community Leader, I also learned a lot from the other residents and students. What will you be doing in the program?
DU: I am going to be a part of the Sexual Diversity Studies collaborative degree program which I believe does have the Queer and Trans Research Lab yes. In essence it is like saying I am taking a minor in the field I suppose. Currently, I am not affiliated with that Lab, but you never know. It is definitely a lab I would love to be connected with and do research alongside for sure.
I am currently a research assistant in the Indigeneity, Diaspora, Equity, Anti-racism in Sport (IDEAS) Research Lab at the University of Toronto (https://janellejoseph.com/research ) and we have some exciting research and ‘ideas,’ pun intended, forthcoming. I would love to do some research with Dr. Joseph on the vogue ballroom scene here in Toronto. I know as a person who was involved in the New York City ballroom scene, and worked with the scene here, you know how much athleticism and talent goes into practice and competing. If I can find a way to elevate their lives, and work in the academic field, I will.
So here at UofT in Kinesiology, my work will impact the multiple facets of my life and my interests in one place. I did not know until recently, that doing work in kinesiology around racialized, queer people within health and fitness, and wellness, was where I wanted to head towards, but I am so glad to be included in these important that will benefit people like us.
AK: I'm curious...if you could give advice to your younger self what would it be?
DU: Oof! I have no idea. What do other people say when you ask them this? Is this my RuPaul looking at my baby picture ugly crying on stage moment? I do not think a younger version of myself would have listened to me because the way I am living my life right now would not have seemed like a real possibility to him. But I would have hoped he would be kinder to himself, cut himself more slack, forgiven others for petty things that only weighed him down that did not matter so much a decade or so later. Newly HIV+ me would be stunned at the life and opportunity I have. I would tell him not to be afraid, and to live bigger.
AK: So, if someone wanted to get more information about yoga or your studies, where could they find you on social media or contact you?
DU: Ah yes, all that social media stuff. Right. My yoga teaching information is at www.urbanyogato.com and my Instagram is https://www.instagram.com/fleximistic/. I am pretty horrible at updating them both. You will have to show me how you stay so consistent with your social medias. Right now, my focus is on school, my own health and self care, and then work, so my yoga teaching schedule is reduced to create space for that. But if people have questions, they can DM me on Instagram. And if anyone has ideas or collaborations about HIV+ research involved within health and fitness, please reach out to me as well.
AK: We here at POZPLANET Magazine really appreciate you sharing your story with us and look forward to hearing about your future projects to help the LGBTQ2+ Community.
DU: I appreciate it as well. And yes let us discuss doing something again together in the future. Did somebody say ‘Alphonso tries his first yoga class’ article? I think so.
Listen to the mix here: https://www.mixcloud.com/djrelentlessny/ear-candy-september-2023
Download the video of this mix here: https://krakenfiles.com/view/qF4KPzJxoY/file.html
Check out DJ Relentless’ Mixcloud page: https://www.mixcloud.com/djrelentlessny
Check out DJ Relentless’ HearThis page: https://hearthis.at/djrelentlesstoronto
Wow! It's September and Fall is right around the corner. School is starting again and the year will be over before you know it. As I am starting this article news of Bob Barker's death is on all news channels, the 45th president has a new mugshot, there's been three shootings in the U.S. in the past 24 hours,, Madonna is now 65 and Britany Spears has got to stop posting videos of herself dancing in skimpy little panties to Janet Jackson & Beyonce
This month we have twenty-four tracks to talk about. Most of them are new or remixes and a couple are classics to pay homage or to comment on current affairs.
So…let’s get started shall we?
Last month on August 16th , Madonna turned 65. On the 17th, I turned 56. I have been a fan of Madonna since her first album back in the 80s. I believe because I have been a fan for so long, I have earned the right to critique Madge. I don’t always agree with her choices. But like I tell many in the LGBTQ2+ Community….I don’t have to agree with or like anyone’s choices but I will fight for your right to make them (as long as those choices don’t involve hurting anyone or taking someone’s rights away).
Our first track is a complete mystery and discovery of a brilliant track called “Queen Madonna” I have no idea where it came from, but I found the video on YouTube. I believe it was created by someone who calls themselves Her Issue. The track tells Madonna’s story from her early days to her World Domination as a Pop Icon. The video is definitely on point.
The second track is the latest collaboration between husband and wife team, Offset & Cardi B. It’s called “Jealousy”. Now, anyone who reads my column regularly knows that my opinion on today’s Hip Hop is very low. This track is much of the same….lyrics about being the baddest
thug or bitch in da room. Nothing original or anything that would uplift our people. But I chose it because I think that this is the word for what is happening to Lizzo right now. Has anyone else noticed that shortly after she performed with a bunch of drag queens in Tennessee after they tried to ban public drag shows that suddenly she is Public Enemy #1?
Up next is “DND (You A Dub)” by Leaf. Believe it or not…I kinda like this one. Probably because it does this double time bounce that makes it interesting. And the video is cute.
I needed a transitional track to jump in BPMs. I dug up the remix of “A No No” by Mariah Carey featuring Stefflon Don. I chose this one to talk about all the folks who are throwing themselves on their swords to continue The Big Lie for The Great Pumpkin. He has double crossed so many before you and you honestly think with 91 charges against him that he wouldn’t throw you under the bus along with Melania and his kids if he thought it would save his ass? I’m sure Rudy Giuliani and Harrison Floyd are wishing they had never hitch their wagons to Ronald Dump. He is definitely “a no no”.
The fifth selection is a celebratory track “One Margarita” by That Chick Angel, Cassadi, Saucy Santana & Steve Terrell All the pundits I saw on CNN talked about what a sad day it was for America the day that Frump’s mugshot was released. I don’t know about you, but I say it was a reason to celebrate. I don’t drink but this track makes me envy those who do. And I have to point out that Saucy Santana is really making a crack in that homophia ceiling as far a Hip Hop is concerned. He’s poppin’ up on a lot of collaborative tracks. Lil Nas X did his thang but I kinda feel like he’s moving into the Pop category while Saucy has found his lane and is holding it down.
Just as I was finishing last month’s mix, Sinead O’Connor passed away. A:er watching the HBO documentary “Nothing Compares” I felt I needed to pay homage to her by playing the Apple Brightness Remix of “I Am Stretched On Your Grave”. Rest in peace, Sweet Warrior.
Now…back to Lizzo. I chose her track “Truth Hurts” mashed up with Terror Squad’s “Lean Back” by DJs From Mars because the truth about the 45th president of the United States is that he is a criminal who surrounded himself with more criminals in the White House. Republicans have dug themselves in such a deep whole that they cannot get out. They desperately want to get back the White House but have skidded onto the wrong side of history for the past few decades with lies, racism and no real plans on how to help the Middle Class. The only thing they have managed to tap into is the anger of disenfranchised Americans. It fueled an insurrecOon and a lot of ignorance about poliOcs. And that’s a truth that’s gonna hurt when it is wriPen about in history books.
I don’t know if the accusaOons about Lizzo are true but I do know that people love to build someone up only to tear them down later. The quesOon came up in one of my DJ groups “Are you sOll playing Lizzo”. I said “Yes”. Like Black History, pretending that it never existed does not erase it. I sOll play Michael Jackson, Elvis and Kanye West because they are part of the fabric of Pop Culture. However, I had to stop playing R.Kelly and Da Baby. Some crimes just are unforgiveable. So, Lizzo…you’re sOll in my playlists!
Our eighth selecOon is “Pose” by Gorgon City featuring NEZ. I kinda like this one. It reminds me of those tracks that you like in the club but don’t necessarily know the Otle but will live in your memory of going out for years to come.
The nineth track in our mix comes from a project called “Pride iUnderground” that I was the execuOve producer for it. It is the Erik Elias Remix of “Andre, Grace & Molly” by Jay Light. The project was released the last weekend of June and featured all LGBT ar5sts selected by me. Being a fan of Jay, it was so great to have him be a part of this Pride iniOaOve. I am looking forward to his collaboraOon with Jade Elektra on a future track on iUnderground Records
Up next is the collaboraOon between MK & Dom Dolla called “Rhyme Dust ”. You know…back in the 90s whenever I saw MK’s name as the remixer or arOst I got excited. His producOon was fresh and had some great hooks. But now I have no idea what he is going for. This new release is good but not catchy enough in my opinion to keep his name up there as a legend.
The eleventh selecOon is the Jaymze Harvey Synthphonic Arrythmia Remix of “BOOM! (My Heart Went)” by Ceulean Chameleon. Jaymze brought Ceulean Chameleon to my aPenOon when had menOoned a liPle while ago that he was working on this remix for a new arOst from Scotland. I searched for informaOon about this arOst (not sure if this is a group or not) and could not find anything. I like the female vocals and Jaymze did a great job at giving this track a symphonic feel. Hope to hear more from him and definitely more about him in the future.
So, I have to be honest. I have no idea what they are saying on “Dimini ” by HAWK & Twolate. But there seems to be a trend of these La5n or Afro Beat produced songs that are more about the feel and vibe than the lyrics. For us folks who only speak English, it (for me) reminds me that there is world of music out there to be discovered.
And speaking of a La5n and Afro Beat feeling, “K-Pop” by Travis Sco[, Bad Bunny & The Weeknd definitely gave us a new look at the mix of Hip Hop and Club. And the DJ Nev Remix worked quite well in my set. I applaud Travis was expanding his sound. And you know Bad Bunny can do no wrong in my book…especially a:er his new bathroom selfie. Let ’s just say I’m an even bigger fan now. And The Weeknd is really proving to be very prolific in Pop music these days. Looking forward to more of this sound.
And since Bad Bunny’s selfie was so revealing, I chose the Licious The Daddy Remix of “Big Dick” by Li[le Big as our fourteenth selecOon. I had seen the original video for this on YouTube and chuckled. Never thought I would play it…unOl LTD got a hold of it and gave it a House producOon that I could work with. Be sure to check out the video. It ’ll make ya blush.
Another Pop Hip Hop arOst to switch up his game is Ty Dolla $ign. His feature on the new Alesso track, “Caught A Body ” is hot! I’m loving that Hip Hop is finding its way into Club and House music. I remember back in the 2000s doing my best to take Hip Hop songs and creaOng Club version to work in my sets. It was a way for me as a Black DJ to keep my job since most venues in NYC like The Monster, Splash & The Hangar were really not keen on Hip Hop being played in their establishments. It was the thinly veiled racism that sOll exists today but is harder to execute since Hip Hop is so prevalent in Pop music now. I am proud to say that I broke a few color barriers in my day. All the DJs who have the freedom to play whatever they want now owe it to DJs like myself who fought with bar owners and managers to include Hip Hop in gay bar playlists And once these venues figured out that they could make money off of this demographic of Black and LaOno LGBT folks suddenly it was okay.
The sixteenth selecOon in our mix is the Ray Isaac Remix of “My Heart Is Refusing Me” by Loreen. Swedish singer/songwriter and two-Ome winner of the Eurovision Song Contest is back with the type of track that I envision being played at a Circuit party with a thousand gay men with their hands in the air in some arena venue. Not really my scene but I could and would play it just to show that I am diverse in my abiliOes as a DJ. I don’t have to love what I am playing. I just need to understand it and know where to place it. There is a Ome and place for everything.
So, last month I wrote about my friend Gavin Bradley and his rework of Erasure’s “A Li[le Respect ”. Well, he’s pumped out another classic “Love Is A Stranger ” by the Eurythmics. He’s given it a sleek and sexy House producOon that I think could work in any segng today.
And I couldn’t resist our next song since it is a Eurythmics Otle but not the same song. The Lizzie Wang Remix of “Sweet Dreams” by Breathe Carolina & Droggun featuring Kaleena Zanders is actually a cover of the La Bouche hit from the 90s. Kinda my way of paying homage to Melanie Thorton (the original vocalist from La Bouche) who died in a plane crash in 2001. The original version of this song was way too fast for my taste. But this new cover works very nicely.
On August 7th, 2023 we lost Mr C. aka DJ Casper who brought us “ The Cha Cha Slide” (a 90s version of the classic 70s dance, The Bus Stop). I hated this song when it came out. Any wedding or barbeque event meant that at some point during a DJ spinning you would be required to play this (like the Macarena another dreaded request from the 90s). But this was a slice of Black History that made it to Pop Culture and you can’t take that away from him. It wasn’t unOl I found this White Label bootleg that mashed him up with Evelyn Champagne King’s “I Don’t Know If It ’s Right ” that I found a version that I could stomach. So, I edited the video to have to play as tribute to the late Mr. C.
So when I lived in NYC, I met many aspiring vocalists….Coby Koehl, Kelly King, MJ White, DuQuincy Cooks and many more. During that Ome I became friends with an R&B singer named Armen Papikyan I used to try to get him to sing at the piano at The Monster but he never would. I heard him sing at couple of other venues for open mic nights. And I heard a few of his singles and saw a music video for a ballad back in the 2000s. I was pleasantly surprised to hear him featured on a new House song called “Music” by Maurice Bird. He sounds great. The track is a good vibe and reminds me of something I would play if the Body & Soul event was sOll around in New York. My only criOque is that his vocal is a liPle too prominent in the mix. He needs to be pulled back a liPle. But I love the lyrics and joy he brings to the producOon. Hope he gets to shoot a music video so I can include it in my video mixshows on Mixcloud.
Our twenty-first track is a cover of Whitney Houston’s “Million Dollar Bill” by Beyond Chicago & Majes`c featuring Alex Mills. First thank you for not renaming the song and rebranding it like it ’s a new one. This was nice to see. Unfortunately, I would much rather play one of the original remixes of Whitney’s version (Freemasons or Frankie Knuckles). Although it is interesOng to hear a male sing these lyrics, it ’s just one of those things for me where you don’t touch perfecOon.
However our next selecOon did exactly what I hate. Joe Stone (who is notorious for reworking hits and rebranding them as new songs) has taken Janet Jackson’s “When I Think Of You” and turned it into “Nothing Else (When I Think Of You)”. Kinda kept the Otle in there but should have just used it correctly. This Beaareakz Remix is a liPle fast and they don’t use the full lyrics.
It seems every year there is some summer anthem that invokes a chant of some kind. “Endless Summer ” by Allan Walker featuring Zak Abel is one of those tracks. It ’s alright. It ’ll probably end up on some compilaOon of Dance Hits. But I don’t think it ’s going to break any records on the charts or win a Grammy. It ’s a fun fluffy song with a cliché senOment.
And to close out our mix, I chose “Cynical” by Twocolors & Safri Duo. I’m noOcing there are a lot of male vocalists with a liPle rasp in their voices that are making some harder and deeper songs in Club music lately. I don’t mind it. Dance music has basically been a female driven market. So, it ’s nice to have some masculinity in the mix. And this track has a liPle “umphff ” to it. I like it. The video visually reminds me of Lady GaGa’s “Bad Romance” video in some spots So, whoever came up with the concept is on the right track. Familiarity always breeds a hit.
Link: hPps://www.hiv.gov/federal-response/campaigns/work-of-art
