5 minute read
"Dying to talk about it"
Paul Jamieson highlights the work of Fresh Light, PCI’s counselling service.
Helen was deeply depressed; her confidence, self-esteem and sense of significance had been beaten out of her. With tears running down her face she spoke softly, “Will you pray with me? I am struggling with forgiveness and the stigma of divorce. Alcohol is my only comfort. I’m in a dark place; I am anxious, afraid, but dying to talk about it!”
She told me her story, of years of domestic violence, emotional and financial abuse. The final straw was a physical assault that landed Helen in hospital with severe injuries for a week. Helen began to slowly rebuild her life with much help, counselling and support.
What a privilege in ministry to be part of a person’s story and to remind them of God’s bigger story of grace and forgiveness. I listened, read and prayed with her. I exercised all my pastoral skills as a minister but realised that this broken woman needed the expertise of a counsellor. Helen’s life was transformed by both pastoral care and professional counselling, distinctively different but both essential to her situation. She found her way out of that dark place into the light. She ditched the bottle and reconnected with church. She rediscovered joy and fulfilment. She relinquished the burden of guilt and went on to live a purpose-driven life.
Mental health is a taboo subject, as Meriel Pinkerton (a counselling supervisor for Fresh Light and auxiliary minister in First Bangor Presbyterian) reflects: “There is still a stigma around talking about subjects such as depression, suicide and self-harm. However, we must take a hard look at the evidence and the consequences of not talking.”
The NI Statistics and Research Agency (NISRA) states that there were 307 recorded deaths by suicide in 2018, of which 228 were male and 79 female. Men in Northern Ireland are almost three times as likely to take their own lives as women. It is more probable that men aged 20-49 die of suicide than anything else. In the UK, every two minutes a man takes his life. In Ireland, provisional figures by the Central Statistics Office show there were 352 suicide deaths in 2018 – 282 were male and 70 were female. Across the world there is a suicide every 40 seconds (male and female). These are all startling statistics. Men are less likely to talk to someone about how they are feeling than women. So let’s help end the silence.
Some of us still think that Christians should never get depressed or feel suicidal and if we are, we are letting God down in some way. Maybe we need to take a closer look at some of the Old Testament prophets like Jeremiah or Elijah. It took Helen a period of time to pluck up the courage and come forward to engage in counselling. Helen was listened to and resourced to deal with the trauma of her past, enabling her to face the future with hope and confidence.
Fresh Light counselling has a team of professionally trained counsellors who are able to deal with a wide range of issues. These include: anxiety; depression; suicidal thoughts; self-harm; low selfesteem; bereavement; sexual abuse; domestic violence; work-related stress; and relationship difficulties. As our leaflet states, we are available to those of all faiths and none.
Anyone can refer themselves to our counselling ministry and no issue is too small. All our counsellors have a strong Christian faith and are committed to standards of best practice and ethics in their counselling. With God’s help we seek to bring hope, strength and comfort into difficult life situations.
Stephanie Windrum, the coordinator of the ministry, explains a little of the origins of Fresh Light: “In early 1990, the South Belfast Presbytery identified a demand for couples’ counselling; by June 1993 several volunteer counsellors worked from Church House under the banner of ‘Marriage Care Counselling’. Since then, the ministry has developed and witnessed numerous changes.
“Currently counselling is managed by the Council for Congregational Life and Witness and since 2017 is known as ‘Fresh Light’. These changes reflect an expanding and developing role for the ministry. It provides support in a number of areas, including Ballymena, Ballynahinch, Belfast, Lisburn, Lurgan, and Magherafelt.
“As a form of Christian counselling, Fresh Light counsellors operate within the framework of PCI’s Theology, Ethics and Practice. They offer a confidential counselling ministry for adults in distress and are able to respond in a Christlike manner. They meet people where they are and seek to take them forward through a caring and empathic approach which can result in inner healing and spiritual restoration.”
Rev David Thompson, Secretary for the Council of Congregational Life and Witness, comments: “Fresh Light supports congregational pastoral care but can offer another level of counselling expertise, bringing additional support to a congregation. Individuals can apply directly to avail of the ministry or be signposted by a minister, friend or family member. The service is open to everyone. Those who arrive at our door will be welcomed and supported. We desire to offer counselling based on the Bible’s understanding of life and the world.”
As chairperson of the panel, I commend this ministry to all people struggling with mental health issues – perhaps like Helen you are dying to talk! Please get in touch. A recent Fresh Light male client expressed the difference it made to his life in the following way: “I attended Fresh Light for my anxiety and panic attacks. I have recently started a new job and find myself loving it. I know I couldn’t have done that without my counsellor from Fresh Light. A big thank you!”
Further details about how to make a first appointment to explore the type of help on offer and the process leading to ongoing support can be made by telephoning +44(0)28 9261 0586 on weekdays between 9am and 1pm.
Messages can be left on the answering machine outside of these hours.
A short video is available to show in churches at www.presbyterianireland.org/ freshlight
Rev Paul Jamieson
Paul Jamieson is minister of Hillhall Presbyterian Church and chairperson of the Fresh Light advisory group.
