Walking the
Photos: Jamie Trimble
recovery road Dr Sharon Hastings, who first wrote an article for the Herald back in February 2020 on her struggles with mental health, now shares her experiences of recovery.
I
t’s a typical evening. My son laughs as his bath toy squirts water high in the air. I rinse the shampoo out of his hair. “1-2-3!” I lift him on to his fluffy towel and kiss his cheek. With baby in bed, I sit down to write a guest blog post. The subject is psychosis and what faith might look like for someone who has lost touch with reality. At 9pm, I lift a container from the sideboard in the kitchen. One by one, I take out boxes of antidepressants, moodstabilisers and antipsychotics, plus a drug to help treat side effects. Later, I practise some mindfulness and read a devotional, then have a snack with my husband.
Severe mental illness – a life sentence? Previously, I wrote in this magazine that, “Those of us who live with severe mental illness are unlikely to find healing in the sense of having our symptoms removed completely.” Ten years ago, I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder – a mental illness characterised by episodes of depression,
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Herald February 2022
mania and psychosis – and I was told to adjust my expectations of life. I had graduated as a doctor, but my future was likely to involve day centres and volunteering. More recently, I came across the ‘Recovery Model’ of mental healthcare, which proposes that recovery is not ‘cure’, but “a process of change through which individuals improve their health and wellness, live a self-directed life, and strive to reach their full potential.” Recovery in this sense is marked by acceptance and change: acceptance of ongoing symptoms and side effects; change in mindset, skills, and choices to make life better in this context. Of course, what we accept is key – I did not accept that I would never work again. I have found Reinhold Niebuhr’s ‘Serenity Prayer’ helpful: “God, grant
…we need to take up our crosses daily, choosing ‘recovery’ in our life as Christians…
me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
My recovery journey… Today, I am walking in recovery, and I have identified 10 steps in the process which has brought me this far: 1. A foundation: I couldn’t just ‘pull myself out’ of my psychotic depression; I needed professional help to kickstart the recovery process. Early in 2019, I met a new psychiatrist who changed my medication, finding a combination which was tolerable and effective. This was the foundation I needed to build upon. 2. A plan: Medication set me on the right path, but I had lost confidence and life skills, and I needed to plan for the future. In the Recovery Model, a longterm ‘therapeutic relationship’ is key, and Christian counselling helped to cement my progress. 3. A book launch: After launching my memoir, Wrestling With My Thoughts, my challenge was to live up to what I had written. I needed to show my mental
