The challenge of abuse within our Church

Jacqui Montgomery-Devlin highlights the issue of abuse within our denomination and outlines how PCI is seeking to address it.

Christ calls us to love, care for and value everyone. As a Church we should seek to reflect Christ’s compassion for all, and that includes safeguarding everyone who comes into contact with our Church. This needs to be our witness.

As you read this, you may, or may not, have experienced abuse within our Church; you may have heard directly or indirectly from a victim/survivor, about their experience of abuse; you might be the parent or family member of someone who was abused within our Church; you might have heard whispers about it in the community; or, you might be someone who thinks this does not happen in the Presbyterian Church. That is the belief of some.

Sadly, abuse is present throughout our communities and does not stop at the front doors of our churches. I hope that, if you are someone who has believed that abuse cannot happen within our churches, by the time you have finished reading this article, you will no longer be of that mind. If we hold to this belief, we reinforce the reason why so many victims of abuse never tell, and, instead, continue to suffer in silence. When we do not speak about abuse, when people are encouraged to keep quiet about it, or when it is not dealt with – these things in themselves are abusive.

Rev Dr Gerry Clinton, minister in Ballybay Presbyterian Church, is a member of PCI’s Safeguarding panel, and an ex-psychiatric nurse. He says, “Abuse needs to be met with positive action – silence around abuse is inaction. Encouraging silence is worse than doing nothing. All too often, those who are supposed to be a source of help, repeat the abuser’s message, ‘Don’t go telling anyone’. That’s called ‘secondary victimisation’ because the silence that is encouraged prevents the person getting the help they so badly need.”

Abuse needs to be met with positive action –silence around abuse is inaction. Encouraging silence is worse than doing nothing.

What is abuse?

Abuse can take many forms. It can include sexual, physical, emotional/ psychological, financial, institutional, spiritual, neglect, discriminatory, modern slavery, and domestic abuse. It can happen to children, young people and adults; to males and females; and can be both contact and non-contact.

It is abuse whether it happens once or more than once.

The impact of the abuse

None of us can ever fully know the impact of abuse for any individual victim/survivor, but I have worked long enough in the field of abuse to know the devastating impact it can have on children, young people, adults, and their families. Irrespective of the form of abuse, who the abuser is, or how often it happened, it can have the ability to destroy lives.

In the book, Sex, Power, Control: Responding to abuse in the institutional church, by Fiona Gardner, one survivor of clerical abuse speaks about how, “The Bishop was very tall, very big. He said that physical comfort was the best kind. He said, ‘Suffer the little children to come unto me’. And then he abused me.”

This survivor said this sexual abuse stripped away her identity. I share this example, not to shock, but to emphasise the potential impact of abuse and consequent feelings of fear, powerlessness, loss of self-worth, to name just a few.

Why should we speak about this?

There can be many reasons why people might not speak about their experience of abuse, but there can be additional reasons why disclosure of abuse within the Church can be even more difficult, including:

• The importance placed on protecting the gospel above all else;

• A belief that suffering is commendable because Jesus suffered for us;

• The abuser is in a leadership position and placed on a pedestal;

• The cultural context of the local community prevents disclosure from within the Church – giving paramountcy to the reputation of the Church.

Only by talking about abuse and acknowledging its existence, will it encourage people to speak about their experiences. This is important if victims are to find healing for past harm; to encourage those to speak out about current experiences; and to give a strong, clear message for the future, that any form of abuse within the Church is wrong, will not be tolerated, and should not go unaddressed if the Church is aware of it.

As a Church, we should speak about forgiveness, however, the forgiveness of an abuser should not be a reason for it not to be dealt with effectively, and by those who have specific in-depth knowledge of, and experience in, safeguarding, in conjunction with the Church.

It is wrong to place an equal importance on protecting an abuser and a victim, believing that the abuser’s expressed regret for the abuse is sufficient to prevent them from harming others in the future. Research tells us that an abuser rarely abuses just once, or has only one victim. Therefore, it is critical that this is dealt with effectively to minimise further harm.

It is wrong to place an equal importance on protecting an abuser and a victim…

Dr Clinton says, “Silence enables the abuser to go on to abuse others. How many people have experienced abuse because of the perceived need to ‘keep things quiet’ so as to avoid social embarrassment? It doesn’t bear thinking about… Perhaps people are unaware of the damage that a culture of silence can do, not only to individuals, but to a whole community. These cultures of silence need to be dismantled for the sake of our children, and those who suffered as children whose stories have never been heard.

“People might think that things brushed under the carpet in the past are best left there for fear of opening old wounds. They couldn’t be more wrong. Those who experienced abuse deserve healing. Continued silence is the oxygen off which abuse lives.”

How you can help?

We can all help build a culture whereby safeguarding of all is in the DNA of PCI and the people in it; a culture that is positive and affirming, compassionate and caring. To not act in this way, would be to fall short of what Christ has asked us to do.

Having worked in the area of all forms of abuse and exploitation for many years, and now as Head of Safeguarding in the Presbyterian Church since 2019, I want to give assurance that I take seriously my responsibility to safeguard those in our congregations and organisations. I will deal with every allegation of abuse that comes to my attention. My ask is that you help me to do this by speaking out. By doing so, together, we can prevent further abuse and support healing where abuse has happened. Look at the example set by our Lord. He did not turn away from those who were suffering. He reached out and befriended them.

I and my colleague, John Steven, have already embarked on delivering awareness raising sessions, within every presbytery, to speak about ‘Confronting the challenge of abuse within our Church’. The next session is in Derry and Donegal Presbytery on 27 February at 7pm in Strabane Presbyterian Church. Future sessions will be advertised at www.presbyterianireland.org/takingcare Everyone is welcome and encouraged to attend these sessions.

Dr Clinton comments: “These sessions can help people realise the need to do the right thing, to free those who have experienced abuse from their prison of silence and give them the liberty to access the help that they need. Perhaps in the past the ‘relevant authorities’ simply didn’t listen when approached – or the services available now did not exist. Well, they exist now, and they are ready to listen –and there are people whose stories need to be told, for their own sake and for the sake of our communities. Again, silence is the lifeblood of the abuser.”

Whether you are a victim/survivor of abuse within our Church; have heard directly or indirectly from a victim/ survivor; are the parent or family member of someone who was abused within our Church; or have heard whispers about it in the community, I can assure you that we in the safeguarding office are here to listen. If, or when, you are ready, we are ready.

Jacqui Montgomery-Devlin is Head of Safeguarding in PCI.

If you would like to speak with someone about anything raised in this article, please contact the Safeguarding Department on:

(From NI) 028 9041 7290 / (From RoI) 048 9041 7290