7 minute read
How others see us
With recent events, both globally and locally, creating a heightened awareness of racial prejudice and injustice, Renée Finnegan shares some of her experiences of integrating into life in Ireland.
“You’re the dad, you’re the sister… and who are you?” These words echoed through the room the four of us occupied when the doctor finally arrived to attend to our toddler’s injury. This experience, in the accident and emergency department, isn’t my first or last in Northern Ireland of being dismissed as the mother of my children, but, to date, is one of my worst. In another context, and with a less pressing priority, I would not have left this blatant neglect of interpersonal skills unchallenged.
With the spotlight on racial inequality being intensified, specifically over the past year, anyone subjected to racial prejudice and discrimination will know the plethora of global stories of injustice encompassing this reality. Against the backdrop of this fallen condition of the world, there is perhaps little of a person’s opinion that has the potential to bring about change. Rather, it’s someone’s story, used by God, that has the power to challenge and influence attitudes with life-changing impact.
My story
Each of us has a diverse back story that converges with the stories of others at the crossroads of life. Sharing my ethnic story is complex because it is rooted in the systematically structured political regime of apartheid. This discrimination, which measured a person’s social and economic status on the basis of skin colour, subsequently comprised racially determined policies and practices. This unjust apartheid served as the canvas for my introduction to the world and spanned into my early 20s.
Despite this political ploy of control and coercion, I had the privilege of a fairly sheltered upbringing within an Indian family in South Africa. Thankfully, for me, it was a rather unscathed experience. My world revolved around a racially frozen landscape within which I simply didn’t know of anything being amiss. This was the benefit of my grandparents’ humbling and proactive protection of their children and future generations. Due to my grandfather’s political involvement, by committing his life to a non-violent struggle for a nonracial democracy with the South African Indian Congress, I was prevented from being directly subjected to any form of personal racial abuse in my homeland.
Mistaken identity
Having travelled the world, including living in Israel, it was only when I relocated to the United Kingdom in December 2001 that a very different picture suddenly emerged; I experienced the rawness of racism. Shortly after arriving, I was confronted with preconceived ideas of my dignity and worth, which were based on having me all figured out. I was dismayed to find that my character and background were prejudged by my packaging, with no time and effort made to get to know me.
Making friends
Excluding family, everyone starts off as strangers. For someone like me, making friends here is by no means straightforward. It’s fair to say that a history steeped in tribalism poses a formidable hurdle. Therefore, this has been the hardest of my challenges in adapting to life in Northern Ireland and adopting it as my home. Yet unlike most people who come to live here, I have the support network of my family-in-law
which is an invaluable lifeline. Their commitment to being Christ-centred in their inclusion and embrace is humbling. As well as this, the blessing of good friendships, which took the better part of a decade to form, makes me thankful for my awesome friends. I applaud them for their willingness and openness to welcome me into their worlds.
Attesting to the unconditional acceptance of family and kindness of friends, also requires reflecting on contexts where these qualities have been lacking, including the church. At the same time, it is fair and right to acknowledge, without listing a multitude of disclaimers, that this does not categorically apply, as there are congregations lovingly reaching out to people from other nations.
Some of my memories are of church services ending and people chatting to my husband – beside me – but not to me, on the assumption that I possess an inadequate command of English. This experience has been replicated in visits to various churches, not least because of my husband’s role within PCI as its training development officer. Then there’s the assumption of me being the plus one at my friends’ weddings – friendships established two decades ago, while attending Belfast Bible College. Or being gracelessly stared at with no awareness of the need for friendliness, when eye contact is inevitably made. Worse still is me initiating contact with someone only to be met with a facial expression and body language that leads to blatantly ignoring me.
These awkward and uncomfortable stories are not exclusive to me. Immediately I think of an immigrant professional couple who encountered people moving away to another pew as they sat beside them; while at other times, people could be seen clutching their handbags closer when the couple sat behind. In these instances, what becomes of this couple’s desire and hope of being spoken to and received as family in Christ (Matthew 10:40)? These are merely some of the experiences specific to the church but it is by no means limited to this context. Countless other experiences within society at large encapsulate the challenges endured by people of different race groups.
More friendliness
Many aspects of my Indian-ness have shaped the person I am today. Still, what matters most to me is a valued trait of being friendly to all whom I meet but who do not naturally identify as biological family. That sense of creating a space of acknowledgement and friendliness toward people who are different has always been modelled to me by my culture. Potentially the historical transition as immigrants from India to
South Africa honed this, in particular, their hospitality offered to others – even at the most inconvenient of times.
Admittedly, practical constraints around busier lives may mean we cannot all be friends, but I have no doubt that we can, at the very least, be friendly to all. I say this being acutely aware of many not having the necessary support to ease their transition into an unfamiliar life here. On this note, a useful perspective, of mutual benefit, is to not just see people as being foreign, but to understand that what is familiar to you is in fact foreign to the foreigner. Adjustments to having someone different in one’s midst may prove to be a big sacrifice, however people integrating into a new cultural environment face greater challenges of leaving behind family, friends and familiarities of all kinds.
Where there is a propensity to focus on factors that differentiate and divide us, the obstacles to celebrate our differences will remain insurmountable. Still, there is an alternative – pausing long enough to recalibrate, with the help of the Holy Spirit. To refocus on what we share in common and how alike we are – not merely from a human perspective – but, more significantly, as we are all made in the image of God.
Engaging with people different to us undoubtedly requires making a concerted effort. By being intentional in our actions to overcome our unconscious biases, we can befriend people who seem different to us, bearing in mind that we each have an innate desire to be known and have a sense of belonging. In my experience, the clique mentality, especially within church, is not conducive to any kind of integration among people of different backgrounds – let alone race – because it serves as a barrier to sincere interaction with others. Looking to identify with our inner circle by our education level, profession, schools our children attend, shared interests and where we’re born, limits our openness and availability to those not like us in these areas. It hinders and harms a sense of genuine belonging for all concerned – including those in our camp.
Our challenge is to recognise the commonality we share in Christ by sacrificing what’s comfortable… realigning our vision to Christ’s…
Mindset of Christ
Christ’s story does not depict distrusting and dismissing people – leaving them marginalised. Biblical history demonstrates a redemptive narrative involving a revolutionised way – Jesus reaching out to, inviting and including those starkly in contrast to himself – including Gentiles – like you and me! Scripture is laden with instructions for us to navigate a course, as followers of Jesus, that is devoid of discrimination and prejudice.
Equally, the mindset of Christ entails having the humility to not only look out for our own interests but for the interest of others (Philippians 2:1–5). Our responsibility is not merely conceding to following Jesus, while we repeatedly exhibit the selfishness of only being absorbed in our lives. We, the church of Christ, are to blaze the trail by emulating his model of love for us; powerfully witnessing his kingdom on earth through a lifestyle of faith in him.
Our challenge is to recognise the commonality we share in Christ by sacrificing what’s comfortable and common to human nature and realigning our vision to Christ’s; of multiculturalism, as found in Colossians 3:1: “Here there is no Gentile or Jew [no racial barrier], circumcised or uncircumcised [no religious barrier], barbarian or Scythian [no national barrier], slave or free [no class barrier], but Christ is all, and is in all.”
