THE BIRTH OTA IUATIO
the oord bnrt,alJ.y ln thelr Ilfe-glvlng hand,g. A f lItby hablt. Rad-bot, lt 1g t,hrown to the s lde and elldeg r GlamnY'hot r beneatb the table. The knlfc ls placed betreen U8o fhe lnltlatlon rlte lE oomplete.Oaly tbe crT cuts the beadrt,o burT d.eep and llnger. TIIEY sâ‚Źver
/
Tbey have laboured, long to
ecparate tbe other.In tbe1r dutyrre are Left to lte alone, gently breathtrng.
It l,ays puleatlng beneath the table.It was never d.e.tacbed, enougho It 6nngerparaaltlolto tho body. The serpent rPves,
to
embrace,
lt le the d,eatb knot of our dutlful love and. obedlenoe o"' The Ehed.dlng was en lIluslon" Ln thelr eagerness to glve uu ttre lrE . m ff fe, tbeY Savo rag rlte ffitr lnltlatlon [rongrwag death. The baby drops lnto the bln, beneath tbo 'tab1e The se rpe nt llve s , to d.e f lne our d,eath.It grots so paLe I lt 1g hard, to dlgtlnguleh. the teacblng le oonpletc when all trace has vanlebed,. Only tbe markg remaln. Only the remalng ana felt. JoyfuLly re gtep fron tbe roomrto celebrate our losg. Tbe eerpent grows rarmo It fattens and. prIls ug olo9olo The FAIfILY. ' Tbe rooltr We are all oontalned' wlthln lte ral1e.Tbe oondltlong are eet.There le no eeoaPlng ttre blood.It 1g thlcker than water.fhlolrl et,lokY and b1ack. IIe are foroed to kneel througb the welght of lt. YOU anB !tr nother ftr father. YOU are f0f son lff daughter. YOU are Uf bueband. l0l wlfe.. '' YOU are UINE. an YOURS. I Tbe , eerpent 1g not dead,l lt 1g only e1eePlng,. the nlgbtmare ls tbe foroe of ltg reallty rWe are t,lghtly bound by tho vlglon. IIe mrst learn to subnlt, not to gurvlve. The eerpent Ptrlle tlg[ter. o
'
We
mrgt be w111,1n9 to
posEesg and, be posseseed,. Berreath tbe tabLe, the rlthered, oonl punps, cold., Laylng Llke sotre d,lgcard,ed, enake gkln n The alr thlckene.The d.ens lty
ls no to Boâ‚Ź Llfe 1g Llfe never reallsoc. f lghter.tlghter. lle anet r f tnally, eubllnate all love end, Ilfe for the lrs . There can be no meetlng. the eerpent wrltbeg ln lts Joy of llfe.We can not breathe.It punpE a elckenlng alr ln ltg attenpt to regaln the eubmleslon.It tlghtens stlil. and the cry le heard. The knlfe le betweeh ue 1g euffocatlng.Ther"e
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thinss designed for children air is crushed as in a cathedreli'
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0e geeliculat'1.ted Pqt!'hr,1uild'$eSturee fi&ed
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ir. * n"ttfr,i r" ffis;wolves.,#ff*, ;,?1n, "iile iWq. a ntffiry\Ltiii*fu inevitabtttty'' o f ;eit af srbarrcc fear to a du1l Pitch a',,
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;.'$g, e*tt;p, ixtor:;:that enf:i ronmttg*i olzarr senei.tivit-yr bizarue ffIld F9lteltrvf'E]rt AiyC'a.tid ffi W AYA,
t&vo.r", f*1P,*ory li
iili:Plii
cream ffi|r***rpql*,"5'1o" cold -""d' r""* '@;,;:*lt'+au ryt$ rylr waY
pai SsffilI aciPn' q4,* - .,.,.,
tt' [t u"il'
"iid'its;li. *;g is no.He unbuttons ibartrrrlv#r;,wiWffiwscs by the teachers' '*ti'tffi#j|*F#igi ne childthe bears
li,i: i*l W 'q
P&ffi af ,rePrisal with thetosame ;tt*tude of needing Pise. fwtffil' d*il&&#ti s *t Lilee the bucket of
',iW
shadows hover Lj-ke thundc:rbolt preeences. *en minutea before liometime the children t6Ld their arms upon the deeksrrest their heads.Pretend sleeprrv:riting for the tomporary refuge at home that never extende but always goec round rvitti the clock.The arm6 that coul-d embrace it.re glued upon a faceless monurnent.Time opins like a slow aaucer occurring uncaring where it spills. '^/i]l the knowledge ki11 me thenrisoLated from any truth yet constantly exposed to ]is6.Gently she rests her hand on the catet etomach.Claws reach out to turn away the touch.Seen as reprisal not
janit'or brings in to coves the incident,*e an object of ridicu e:iihe becomes quietly cruel. sawduet the
Competition soak6 every action.The,,., children misbehave dividedl$.fwo hundred childrbn and nine adults htde ,from,1,'&* other.Routine waneg and winds up'houra speed and gri.nd like passing airensii',,, booke spread open reveal nothtn6tthe gestures of their tea,chers educcte more effectively.In the,u' *nbtle silence reflections go unquaet*oned.,they grow' poorLy watered -pl'ante in .1n,,air'' of
rurnble overheadruntouchabi.e oppre seive s.One wayronly onerinabilrty to produce,
give any taste of possibility when must have angels wings before --i'(irtue recognitj-on. From incubator to -'.'b..ll
institutionrlife
diehonestY. dssks are arranged to form tunnela. 'fhie man hag a game worked outra boY slinplng for a momentra diechord in i{IS
Th€,.
comijoeltionris eent crawling tlrroul5h the tunnelrgoaded and kicked by classmatea and on reaching the otrtt:r end, beaten.The childrenrdivided i-nto girl and boy l-earn the arts of betrayal and humiliationrof jealouey and possession. Locked doors are understood.Under the thumb guilt flourishes like poi-son ivy. Heartbeat urging legs to runrlaterlate, already the rest have answered to thej-r names, taken their places.l"lade conspicuous by the ringing of the beII fading she is strung up like a blackbird by a gamekeeper, the deterrent to keep the heart shoutingrwolves under the beci can be leapt overt the scft bed receivesrhere the thorns lacerale.
to posaeas, belong, loneing.eiif,Etlfatch itra hard ball wont hurt you if you cateh iL r-;ht.l,oe your handc ProPerlY. ;-ri"ty ' .ndo, the boy ctands out by hio coatlng of gri"me.From thclr cJean homoe the other children deapiao him.Obscurcd by prejudice he site sfsng.ilunning a\'Iay from the ba1}, from ugly facee pushingt fron the gamerfrom every vile assault, eensea clashing violently in opposition. j.l.:rrid s[upid game I shal]' not..not.rooted tn tfre spot the ball r strikes the earth at her feetJmaginative, eho a 60 imaginative.Fantaeiee Tft ne out of hero Ilke helicoptero
honesty, touches become m::,rks of doubt. Intended to be as smooth as machine components in someoneE ivory torver.rlhen ivory is left upon the eJ-ephant..rrror..the body crumples in t,he dust.r\utomatically given flesh to eatrman ]ives by death alonerthe fear of it locks them in amberra ritual is performed on the bodies, the surgery ttrat gave every chance left loner l'lethodrmodelrmoralrbirds fly in fairy
booksrbarbaric sophistication nullifies rl 5tone , ;r nproirch excepr- it;1 buJ.1e t t stinq ;,r J1
encumbent
with
gapin6S
ho^es.Consuming greedily io fill the holes &g if they promised morersubstitutes for somethlng oniy hinted at in the casts of evesfburied beneath an interplay of cloctrinesrrvhat is best what is best ie beet.;\dapted admirably.Ticking overr fucked ov€rol\ benevolent schemer emileo at the twisted forme through ths window.llen to Lead men to be led.Ttre babies lay in numbered cots. You caueed me such lnin.You were conc ceived in love.ileproach.r\pproach.Real,ity descend€ ln brulclng blowe.tsencee raleed and doge roamj"ng.The school playground terminates at a locked gate.The lonely units, the hiding places. Discovered kissing in a forbidderr roorlrDiscovered pissing up the wal-l.Covering the rainbow.They satisfy each other with horuor tales, trading fear like marblesrbetraying and seducing one another.In the bedroom she shows me with a knitting needle and dolI.e bird flies in through the window to batter itself ag;rin-st t,ire wirll.ihe cllildren in tireir turnrle.rrn to covet ]ies.
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I an not h e l nor mast err,$:*;'"W'Si?, rn sil erc e t h ex Ii e. nor lord , iro crown t o q++*t;i'ffi;:;!i'r,Th ey r an b efor e w ear r no cro ss t o b ear r*;it'{l;**,ffitlit h es e inast er s, i-n statlons.I an not Hf*,W,g6;*,l"child.ren of soritowl hernor shall be,war- .{,}[5;*+$I' as slaves to that lorcL o f nat io ns . T h es e ;t/.i-.tl#;jflffi tr ilo gy, t h ef, had. no hero es have run befor e$fri+:*"#,!?,"# futur e.They tn€ r now d. ead. upon t h e ,*ils"r^tliii;ifi; b eli eved. in d, em,o i cr acy, fb eedon o f f l esh -pil.es , s ee? sp eec h , y et d. ead on .q?ft Lpg f_!,r " t-"i] eiq._*.'_* tr14,pj:-,tq:*;1;
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e& p lL es I h ear 'ffino breathrf h ea,r no hop e no whisp er of falth , for those that have d.i ed. for
ker , crown or cro ss r ln ston€lLtpon these grav€S" mar
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ffi fi;'tffi"ioRr ahd. onry theI strap ffipalaaus,pTtnces f u*" lt s *ur t upo n d:,ffiitrf,::fif*qu eeus , out flon " slaves. Urhat flag{glltr$jg".:""::#your churches you these to thrust into this 'xTffi;**lil;':'".nc1ergX you chrlstsr flesh,x&8, band.age'nop r -gndJ,'$ifut1 t 11 neithen llve your in their flowing death..Sf'S'f.tif,$;inor d.le for Taken asid.e th eX wer .,"r,"nn!nii$iU.,,md.r eans, I I 1I nake point ed. away, for god r l*:!#ffi'r,F*rno subscription gu
een and. country,
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IVERE5T.AN ACCOUNT OF THE FIRST SOID ASCENT.THE DEAIH
Timd:ffrTTIdN.-
OF
Vorslon I.
The blrlh 1s a. long and palnful ordeal. Sone by the needLe.Some the water.Scne by the f1re.
There ls N0 nld-w1fe pres 1tRlrged, thou.
The ch1Id 1s wedgs6'5ead-f1rstr1n Lhe pelv1c-bas1n. He watches the tufts of blue snoke rlse fforn the stove.Even the oven ln hls indlfference.A house-f1y settles on the pollshed surface of the tabfe.He Bwats 1t away touchln8, only
the reflectlon. Tltanlc blocks.
Hercul,anean blades. TEiIPL.E
colunns.
Chr16t vlndlcated.
The shlId ls tetr)porarl1y emothered ln lts pastraway frotr the
clamps.Thls Bother-to-be contracts to the sound of steef on stee1.
Tvro
flng,er dllatlon.
Irnmoblle conquest. Lanp at tLle door.Llght on llght.
Chrlst lndlcated. She ro11s bllnd1y ln her own sweatrunspeakable anlnoslty touches nlnd and llp.Caught ln the gushlng'lost ln the swelllngrswallowed hardrthe sallvartorn pllfows 1n her struggle.Renlnded of her Ol|{N choklng.Her earller enterprlse. "I s[;11 be call1ng between 9.fo anii Io.Be there.rtThat le all he has sa1d. "Be there,be thererbe thererbe t,here.'rRung ln her urlnd. There ls no tolerancerthe laup-posts sway ln the darop breeze. There le no tolerancerthe pllee of Autunn leavegrsllppery under-f oot. Son est 1unlere. The clty n1ght. She had walted for hls co&1ng.Tw1c€.Once as she nervously f lng,ered the dauragk curtalns.
Dlvertedrsbe sLlpo on the gravel path that leade away froo the hlllock.In her fall ehe grabs at tuftg of grass and herb, a chllde gardenrdlvlne now. Her Calvary. sco
rched.
Etrugg,llng to regaln a foothold.rehe klcke asld€ a ene1l
p11e
of brlcke.Fron th€ hole that ls expoeed, by thls actlgnrlhere crawl,s an enaclated catrthet loJ.lope and tuables acroel iLe to wher€ her body now laye. 6rave1puaey.Deer "Dear aw6et puesy.Sha).l we go hooe?'l I focue alwgys back to the flre.The leaves of a troploa). plan,1 plant r.eacb away fron ny cfralr.I exo unutterably lazyrdressed., as afwayg I amrln black.The colour of 1ce.4y firet d,6icr1be a
LlnerTO THE FIAMES.I an alwayerthuaralone. "Sw€et puesy." london.Jan2.1980.No real dectelon has been naderno d,eflnable purpose decr€ed.Hand.fulle of garbag,e are d.lepoeed of acroee the WALIS of thc r1ch.h1v1lege and wealth burd.ened wltb the garbage of_ the poor.gpllnt€rs-of the pLeaeure-ehlprfa-iignJ, shred6 of. 10rd.-shlprcrowns of ooeanarilnglets o! i6artnit nolsturgrb€hlnd. us nowrthe shutters 6n the wa]l.I d.raw focus g" !F" soft_opaque of the wlndows.ghap€s forn and aleapp€ar 1n the ll6,htrcaught and carrled,,there 1s NO arrcet. "Dear pussy.Dear eweet pussy." ttout . Get that anlna1 out . r' ttTlrere ttout
Dow.There
now
.'l
.Get 1t out.ri feels the burnlng 1n her palnrehe scrapes at 1t wlth her lndex and fore-f lngera. Chrlst lndlcated. The stlgnata. She
Her Calvary.
ttPlck thern up. "
?What, come
e?
1t comes.rl She lhe money lnto a tlght wad and drops 1t lnto the calI-roIle baR. "Ah weII.ah well.'l As she- paases the prirl.ing-lot they - are pultlng the horrlbl.y burnt bod.y fron the wrec[age. "Ha.Ca6h or cruclflxlonreh? From the wreckas.e. ttchrlstrthe sn"f1, ltte fouL.', Drled 1n the f1re. In the wastefand to t,he rear of the parklng-fotrelevated by a sllght hlIlockra group of young chltd.ren-rvat,ch 1n fasclnl atlon.They- Brlnace and glgglerpaiodylng adutt fear.The^v <to not care,there 1e no neter by whlch-thJy coulct. "so that they can cooe back.inatte rlghf rgi.ti rt,r,, One of thenra llttle g1r1rls ]oBL ln lntroverBlon.She s&l]eB anC rubs her llan,ls together. fhe stlgnata. "So thaC they can oone back.rl Thev seek r€aaaufg.llc€o "Th6ee Chrlstsrthose fucktng Chrlsts.'t i look across the bookshelvearexhausted ldea 1s what I percleve.The reglstratlon of endlees conceptEreven hopee, fulfllled no more than the dusty covers that contaln then. Jtlthln thls rouseun there burns a f1re. The pages of a book turn ln the llght breezerthe perfectly 11t plcturesrslLlconleed bod.leBrnake a grotesque tableau agalnst the blackened corpse now laylng on tLie tarnac of the parklng-1ot. The logs are placed 1n the hearth l1ke a Shlnto gateway,a callgraphlc brand that marke ny nood.Lazy cats punctuate thlg halkurthey yawn and sneeze ln the g,ateway.16per1a1 d.awnreecb monentrdefll.ed.Everythlng becoroee a synbol for lteelfra paeslve statenent of lntent that knowe only that ft, wil1 be consur'.ed by thls splrltror that, f lre.Such eiher to dlst,urb away a sadnesg. ItNow thet the chlld 1g born." Later thd, evenlng the llttle g1r1 stand.e alone on the hl11oct starlng across the enpiy €xpanse of tertrao.Where the car had been parked there are now crrrdely drawn Llnesrchelk roarks that suggeBt Lhe extent of the danL6era chllds gard.en of vereerandrto the.sld.e of thenra greaey-tiall d.egcriblng the dlrectlon 1n whlch rhe^ body. had-been-ctrag6ed.Aray fioi the heat.The topography of dealh. A she tums to screnble baok acrogg the waeteland,ra patoh of l1g,ht, 1e auddenly thrown onto her by the changlng-skj,.tter ehadow 1a oastrtraselvely longracroee the desolate land,scap€. Soeethlng..9onethlng that for a eecond creates t,otaL efljnii. Sllencerthen, ls the ALL.
peta]'srbutterfly
wl'ngg
benevelence.Cheap hotels.The MU$TY rocn.Worn r1b of carpet. Thln pannel of d.oor.Orange rayon of curtaln and bedcover.The TIRED nlrvana of the telcvlslon-set.B1ack and whlt,e.What
d.lffercnce?Swlsh ln the slfence.
'rBe
e
DEATH.
FORTUNE.
'rDo
noneyrmoney.Do you want lt aB 1t conee?,1 "The rrYes.Yes.As
OF LIVING
Tlny flng,ers s1lpp1n6, on the slfk-thln t,hat melt 1n touch. rl trr sald., PrcK THEM u?.
Across the roadrcurtalns are belng drawn.Shad.ows 1n unexplored. rooes.Stard,lng for a monent by the wlndow.Black shape etarlng lnto the 1cy suburban landscape.
'
Bplne.The rlng of tooth ln ffeah.Flesh b€cooes a sore.The bunlIlty of the &artyr8 18 HoAX.Yet stllL these heroes go to xarrtrud.g€ in the Lead boot,g of lndoctrlnatlon.The nud of ltt the blood of 1t.lthat dld we learn?There?these plte?Stone wallarthe deflnltlons of lt.wbat d1d we know to forget?irhat have we learnt that we nay d1selss lt now?Sone borrow€d' know-
black-leather of the table-top. 'rP1ck then up.I eald.rplck thero up.rl H€ reaches for the pet,als.Tentatlve sna1l hand.s.Sensltlv€ soft bands.So dellcately formed..So uneulIled. by roanhood.9oroe
welght.
they d,are?rl theierb€ thererbe thererbe there."Rung 1n her olnd. "Nothlng Marnothlng but the BREJZE.TI Hls orgasn 1s a long and palnful ordeal. Some the needle. iach thmst burns her as 1f hl8 prlck was a rod, of heated. steel.So unglven.He wlpes away hlB eatlefactlon wlth Lrer laund.ered. sheets.He ro1Ie ln hle own CoI.IIENT. freshly t'Ah ne. tt In the lavatory she trles to extract son6 of hls stlcky sp€rn froro her bod.y wlth a wad of tollet,-paper.Scraps of yellow tlssue catch ln the nolst foId.s of her cunt. "chrlgt." ltihen ghe returns to the bedroonrhe 1s asleep.Thtn l1nes of sallva drop frorn tilB mouth to the plllor. Nothlng nore than that.The molsture ls already thrown about, dried. 1n t,he flre.Unborrr flesh that rlnge about the ovens. Rlnge about h1s oouth..tiJected by her body.FroD the hol,e.Not THIS t1me. 'lchrlgt. " tllped fron her brow as lautihter. terrlbLy sorry,you dan't see your baby.rl li!"'tq "Such?Ie 1t such?rl "Nothlng Iirla.Nothtng. tl She voroltg lnto the p1llow. lvhen he returna to thu- bedroonrshe 1e asleep. The freahly pressed tweed. dreBs fal1e Ln foLds across her knees.Perfect.She ellp8 lnto flrst and. neatly parks the car, a gunshlne-yelIow Ford. Caprlrln the ordered iowe of the parklng lot.She placee I palr of 1lght-sensltlve eun-glassee ln_the glove oonpartnentrat the eaee tlroe renovlng a fack of fllter_clgarettes ihat she put8 ln her hlp poctet,if,lfiin8 her. calf hand-bag fron the back seatrshe opene the door tnd, llg,ht,Iy pushlng 1t further open wlth her footrcl.lnbB out.Sbe stope for a nonent to sBooth d.own her dr"ees aid. thenrhavlng glanced.about her,drops a llght,eil natch onto tne v1n!1 oiit" car s€at. Sev€ral mlnutes laterras she 1s cashlng a chequerehe hears the exploslon.rl "As 1t cone g ? rrCone rt
nlghtrsaddened songrrlng,lng across the cead,owerre_routed, through the chanriele of my bralnrdrlven through the arterleg lntegrltY. of roy body.T1tre has norAr conclousness.The blte bae ewollen Such ar lnposltlon on to a blue clrcle of cracklng fleshrto the left of the lower-
ledge?BLIRROTYiiD EXPiIRIENOE
Could she have ce1led and aald 'rNoil? Fleur de Ils ln the fur of carpet.Each gbadow 1n the street another entry.The forlorn LanpB NOW drlpplng 1n the ev6nlng fog.A rnuffled cry.The dlstant thunp of a car-door belng SONE
enough.rr
"In the body-bag,.yes.In the body-bag,. The rall-tracke are across ny beckyardrendleae tralnsrtl.ee knows no d.escrlptlon.Is lt nbt ovei?Tb6 tra1ns.lilood,ed. tnrcks that leave t,he1r PLITRIFACTION at ny d.oorsrep.I ltear then at
$he lJ.fte a rose frorn the slender vase and teare the head froB i.l;,e 6texo.Petals fallrscarlet flesh on the embosged. blacll
Tr lrn .
slatrmed.The fl"oorboarde above SIGH under 'rtvho ARI theee people?rt
t'You shallrgf course rbe punlshed.'r I8 thls gender?A po11tlc?Some secular devlce?What syrnbol to rvear on thls strlped cloth? Punlshment 1s lnverted deelre.Perhapa they have tknownr t,hat ar€ bound. and beatenrstuffed full at the truselngrglanced eatorl ln th€ cracklng of the blrch?How hung, on Lhe n1pple? How glanced the genltalle?Toothlesa mernoryrnlthlees nercy, what roerrlnes8 nowrln the plts. How now brave warrlor that on thls truck doe8 rlde? How weaned, tblo aorry chlld.?The Bcented pln€ 1s nothlng ag_alnet the ROT of thlB body.What order ln the hengnand tttef "The..paetry dearrthe pastry.Is 1t short?Short enou[h?you?For vou? rr ItAs 1f ln a clrc1e of cloud.rthls dense nlght that you have not known,those boys facee ag they fel1 besld,e neri klok then nowrplaE 1n eactr orlflce.Rolllng corpses 1n the rich od,our your culelne.Haute culglne.rl of trshort
at the g,rasplng flngerB wlth the thorrly etens.He retractsrfranilc agalngt ihe tearlng clawe.Llnes of blood sean through the back of h1s hand,rJagged rlps that nrn fron vrrlst to knuckle. rPlGrrwrltten ln blood on the refrlgerator. Hlghway no one. "You aie not hurt.\ewrplck then up.rl The dlstant rat,tfe of the cattle-trucksrthe uroan and the whlstle a8alnst th€ 6tagnani alrrthe chlnneye that belch thelr hunan stench.Cllckety clack.Cllckety clack.The 1lne and the eatlng and the bodlee and the plt. A pattern e&rlerg,esrdeslgnsrplans.L:onents CLOYING at a hollday walkwayrthle pooJ., pool, hotelrthls watkwsyrthle brochure.I!cag,lne t,h1s brochure.Ilcag,lne th1s roonrthls hotelrthle vlllartown.Th1s bath t,o bathe 1n.Thls grove;body.Thle body, body,bodyrbodyrbodyrbod.y.Wnrng ln tbelr nlnals. Ttp-toe.The CRUNCH of frozen gress.Slow.CAFEful.\,lalk acroes the LAWn.The sound of the road dlsappears acroaa the 1lneB of prlvet and lAUzujL. Wreaths for these lljRoiis.Spartan lvarrlors that cotrb thelr halr ln preparatlon for bug,gery. The cl1ck of stee] on gteel. Chrlst lndlcated. The cl1ck of knlferon plate.Pocketed..The 1dle chatter of the fanlIy.A burst of laughter. The fanllyrtlght unlt of. fourrare seated. at the table.The neat-ple steams 1n ltB t1n contalnerrthe center of the tableau.Held..Beneath the Jaggy ends..A bunch of chrysanthelcunst ethereal ln the steanr( rlcher etlU)rlends lroper1a1 naJesty to ttre occaslon. Th€ cat etands byTSEARCHI\le RAeGED MEAT that drope. A voloerdronlng.dhecked.A shrlller volc€.ttOb no d,addyrno.rr S1lence.Pee1s of lau6hter. trHone st lv I dld . rl ttPersonaily speaklngrl doubt lt.tt ttBut. t' She swlpes
r ti rtThav ehafl ,,out-.,,
return.rl
Into tbe vaIIey. sllence 1s a wordrln whatever forurlt 1s a wordrnag,nlflcence 1ts potentlal. alone rolght descrlbe The exlstentlal rNOr . enoke drlftg up acroas She drew6 on a fllter-clgarette.The her h1g,h ch€ek bonerpocketln8rfor a nornentrln her eye. the traln puIls along tbe slde of the blach leke.Huge blrds, gullrcrowrhawkrcornorantrwheel around. ln the rolst that flfte froro the waters surfaoe.A oedleval caul.dronrthe wltches splkerdead now ln the ducklng pond. Molstur€ rlses ln the tear-duct,. Througb the upper layere of these greye and whlt€8 rlse thre HIGH nountalnE.
She snarts.
ilhere the nlst thlns,swlrls lnto 1ts owlr €8caP€ra wall of granlte ls exposed r1slng hunilred.e of fe€t above the 'nat,ers ed.ge.No foothold h€re for the lntrepld. explorer.Between the twortfre hlgh nountalns and the gra^nlte cragrlay the a1ps, pretty pa8tures of gra88 and, herb.Sky-b1ue gentlan.Prlorose. DalBy.Buttercup.Stretched 1n ro1le to wher€ tlre whlte peaJ(s claw out the ekyrwhere th€ cl.oud.a wrap anii cIlng,lseek seao and crackrpurge cave and cranny.Not one monent of escape frotr TH;ifR scourlngrup her€r1n 16e snew-Iine. A s!0a11 tear wells across her lower 11d.. The lake 1e black as the cragreurfacee descrlbed ln the sr{oop1r€ of the blrats.NOT ONE FooTHoLD.H€l.drperhape 1n th€ cradle of the nlstrbut NE\ER tran8portedoNot one narker that does not turn 1n on lts OWN ve1l. They f1y alone. The nenlscus bulgeErburetg and eende a flne sllther of nolBture across her cheek.Trapped 1n the corner of her nouth, 1t gllstens ln the scarlet of her gm1le. Trenrnors of 1lght sparkle 1n the frane of tfle xolrrorrtlny ralnbows that bounce acroBs iho ce11lng,. trYou eee ?'r Sad Llse Eoans froE the equarlun.Beaux ert€8.She d.o€s not laugh. She snlleerbrlnglng her t,ongue to her upp€r l1p.Slon1y she sIld.es lt acroge her palnted roouth to snap the tlr\y renalng of the tesrdrop lnto lte curl. The cobra.The rattlesneke.The vlper.Eaoh aralt th€ dewraparBe nonsenae ln the Band. trDo you understand?trShe r.enoves the enpty apectacle-caso fron the table-top and p!.eces 1t ln her 61ssg!-pocket.r\te can perrolt thls bebavlour.rr not rWErrthe €ternal rWEtrghetto of the nlnd.Hor nany abuBes ooDxnlttEd, 1n thls nar0erthls errorra.nd. who wl11 claln 1t? Herltag€?8lrthrlght?The dag,ger 1s before you. "We can not and w111 not allow lt.rl Suoh an lnposltlon on rAt conclousnese.ltalls are d.eflnltlons of aleflnltlon 1ts€lf.Art d€scr1blng art.Th€re 1e no eeoape, yetrherertbet€ 1s N0 oapture.De V1nc1 1e Logt alaorhe wlpei the sn1le. 'rAllowra1lowra1lowral1ow.'rRung ln hls nlnd. And whsra,nywayrwoufd. nalntaln thls 11Ius1on? H18 hantt runs nervously along the oarved. edge of the table. dach noveroent ls reglst,ered. 1n rlnglets upon the surface of the waterreaoh heeltatlon reflectea 1n the Burfaoe of the glaeareaoh nonent, observeat by the bespectacled eyes that star€ fron behlnct the squstla v€lL ot the vase. Fercept lon.Conoept lon. Re
eurre
ct, lon.ReeB
surance .
"I knor what you are.ttAs brlttI€ end sharp as the steDs that rlBe froE ths veso.TotoBs.Tokons.Iost love.The foltted 1ab1a. Great lunps of nad.d.ed, soarlet roso hang,rtrophles of 8 oannlbellsErfron theee thorny stlcks.Reoonnalocenca partles. Nlght opcratlons.Yoar Z€ro.
]trore 1au6bter.Squee18.
A nasslvely long shadow 1s thrown by a flgure now stand,lng at the wlndowrbl-ack shape starln6 lnto the 1cy ouburban landscape.The sudden blue glow of the televlelon-set.Black and whlte.Unexplored roons.The stalr-we1J., oarpeted,.The bannlster ra1 3., roakrogany. The 1and,1n6, f loraI. The nurse ry, p1nk, blue . Tho ARO!,IA of youth. Pork ln the refrlg€rator. Tbreade of HIgtory. 'rTo bed.Now.To bed.'l
Bendrnowrbend.Down.The shado'rs nove.A 111unlnates the lawn. The 9o1.
car llght euddenly
Black footprlnts ca8t 1n the froet.Dark now.Closer now.Tbe SMELL.lyartr sMELL.Rlch sl.ar0 of MEAT. IeTFUIIES, PoIJSH€s.An o11 etove.Even the OVEN ln HIS lndlfference.CarrleA 1n the ICY a1r.A pronlse of stagnenoy. On t1p-toes.Faster.Faeter.Breaklng lnto a rrn.The crunch of frozen grass.The roorD.The spllnterlng of glaae.Now the strelle are YlARn.The frantlc DASH across the unexp].ored roon.Frenzled utovements acroas the furnlture. "Becauee r HAw] RETURNED.TI DaEask curtalns bl,own ln the unlnvlted, alr. Fleur cle breeze. ICE COLD. Blooke.
Of courserof courge.THEY etore the
FLUSH.
Upturned chalrard.ust and scraps.The standarit-la.np crashlng onto the coffee-tablerspllnters of veneerrthe oovers are OFF. The perfectly llt picturesrslltconlsed bodlesr&ake a grotesque tableau agalnst the 11v1d. corpses now gasplng thelr
last breaths ln the sponge upholstery of the three pleoe sulte.
TH,i] CAT LICKS IIOUNDS.
The dull buzz of the televlslon-set 1s the only sound. of greater constancy lhan tbe !0o16t glunts and groans.Black and whlte.NEWR FORGOTT9N.
A thoroughly MoDERN sllence. The floorboard.s above SIGH under eone vtelght.The bough breaks.
The wreath
ls a crown of thorn.\Year lt for ne LORD,wear lt for ne. ttshall YiE go HoliE?rl London.JanJ.I9B0.Th€ orroua€1 turns.Specks of tired. Joyrllke the enowfallrwltneeeeal.I cone agaln.9queel 1n the Earketplacerhere I saw tfie flsh DRYINO ln the sunrTHEY COULD NoT BREATH.Medlterranean d.ecad.ence.They SUCK the artlclioke to the FIBRE.The squalor of lt.None.There ls NoNE.I11 d6flned. Tonroorrow.Hldden 1n the roar1n6, space.ffucld narkerB.They would DRILL us.The tapestry of cluctflxlon.I shal1 bare none of qy FIJSHrnor bear HIS.None.I shall have NONE of ltrhowever lt 1s presente{rhowever spokenrNOrnot at any cost. INO" ThE EXISTENTIAI,
PRoJjCT_: The aeoent
trrrrovocablllty. rAh.
ttoet up you bestard.e.Get up.rt
of Eve16st.
"
'r
iul-JiiT. 4,oo?ft. "Irrevccablllty.I "','i111
seek
you be coclng?rl
."P,CPOitD R.oUTE. Khuc.bu
SoufEeAst-?lTge. ttBecauge
1t 1s
the re . "
"Ycu could always tlat
the lrrevocabLe.rr Glacler.il'estern Cyn.lhotse.South
Co1.
rThe PlgB Head ControvelFlol not see that, they dsslred the HoLOoAUStrae etlll
1f you want to.rl
Do you
'r;ihere to?'t "^,lorno.tl Chan6,e
they
dorfor ln CATTIARSIS laye tho roblrth of thelr LOST se:arallty? Self beyontl, cteflnltlon?The lrr€vooable?The1r cnrolflxlon ls the oReASll that t,hey eeek.They HUNI deatb and envy ltrbound 1n the sullled, reallsatlon that through thelr blrthrthey have
TiA;.. Solo.
ESUIPLgNT. Sun61asees,1l6ht
Stunbllng ln the nese of 6hlt and strawrled by thelr stuplal LoRDrthelr stuplal IAWDooood Chrlstrthey hear euch tales as they stere frotr the lettloe of th€lr pre-greverao nournful, hanglng 1n EaDory fron the oeat-hooker The blOod rushos the tlled, qonldor.Th€ peln t,hat YOU enploy. 'rUp.up.rt CarefuJ,ly I wlthdret Ey penls fron the ne4l-plelthe Jagg,ed t1n edgee thrat€n qy pl.easur€.the unoooked. paatry cakes By b-alre.The neat_leys.,ln t€np€rod 11nes upon the erect flesh. "Up you baetard.Up.t THE CAT I$ EXILED IN THE GRAVT. Nothlng but th€ buzz of the ELECIRODE.
def11ed 11fe.
sensltlve.Heavy wlnt€r o1othln6j.
of underwear.Stout walklng, ghoeg.Berct.
"Beyond phllosophy.tt
'rirord that deflneg flfe?'l
TI],;j 0F ISCENT. t/4 weeks.Late wlnt€rr/early sprlng. Llfe the DiFriis word.. rl 'rYou could alwa,vs stay 1f you want to.rl
PRCPoS]jD
'rl:o.
GUILT
IS THEIR ONLY RIiALITY.
He carefully wlpes the tlr1y gr€ase-Earke fron the whlte palnt-viork wlth a soft tlB8ue.Where lust ts atalnlng up frolr the xoetelrhe rubs aryay the palnt to the body end appllee flllerrtwo coats of prlnerrtlvo topcoats.At thlB stage he lubs d,own wlth w€t and dryrthen applylng the fi.nal coat whlch he flnlehee ofl vrlth a thorough wax pollshlng,For over a year ho has cared ln thls nanner.The lnterlorrbelge upholstery and brcwn trl:lr1s as oarefully preserved,o "Volvo.Safe, rellable, shovrioon oondltlon,nlne.Best noney can
buy.'l
they the body to the oross.Only now weep ln r-helr plety.Canna1l you not, see the pattern of these deathe? THIS was HIS SUI./IIdIT in the eupernarket a gush of loy atr slld.eg acroae hls face. TIUS ls TH5 PEAK OF hls FRIJEDOII. He turns to 6tudy tts source. Deluded by cholce. The chunks of meat are bound. 1n cllng wrep plast1o. Burdens to h1B eexuallty. He HANGS ther€. Chrlst lndlcated. He luns hls hand along, the aflunlnlun faclng of the refrlgeratorrplnk agalnst tLre ecarlet of the neat. Let THIIM wal:k. On:Ly now
Cross-sectlons.Bonercrudely sawnrnrd,ely seen.Spllnte16 1n the ffeshrcrashed ln the peIvlc-baslnrcarn-age ln the oarrowrl€Br of blad.e.Chuok;Bubbleg of blooci caug,htr lnrnobller li
The hack
the vrrsp.Sr.aln.Tongue.Sll.ence ln the abattoti.Ii:e of the elect,rod.ee.BLack and whlte. They have d.eflned schlzophr€nlarTwfoE.
itulL buzz
or cnrclflxlon.Each body that clutches lts towelrthe posse s s lon. Irne ly pro ce-e e lon.Steak.Runp.Slr]o 1n. VALIUi{ "1f .you.. please,please,pleaee,piease.trRung 1n hta nlnd,B1nd, lnd , rnlnd. . Slabs.Slap of bfade.The evenlng, of ToRN flegh.The BRoX!N glass was a BljiSSINO.Chop.The kldney rests quartered 1n a shell of bone and fat and lruscle and. meat. "Thatr1l berthatrll berthattll berthat r11 be.rrDeeper and. de epe r. He f1n€,ers the hard. blocksrpushes aslde hanrgal}nonrbaoon, Jolnt.Frorx the hole that th€se brlcks have been coverlngrhe pul1s ihe tnresed. body of a chlcken.Into the Bpace that ls left rattle emaller ltens.Leg.v/ln8.Glblet.Portlon.Breaetr Re eurre ct lon?Reaeeurance ? The young cashler turns to her superlor.rrBags.Have you any bags? " These novlcesrprostrate 1n the wlldern€sB. Prrppets ln the gullIotlne. Cash
only
"ldorernorerrDof€1troF9rrrRung 1n h1s n1nd.
m
JXIIRJD. tl "Ba6,B .
the d.eath-canps t,hese hlgh-str€et superetoresrt,he very forrn of then.It 1s your greed that fl1ls the chanbers, may. store peace 1n your deluded dreansrbut 1t 1s THE FIjijH that you covet 1n your havens of mystery.Worshlpful sects.',lhat have you learnt ln rhls CATHARbIS?\yhy DID they dle?For you?For you?It 1s you that w€ars tlre uniforro of Lhe oppressorryesryes, look wlth THCSji !0oorland eyesrIOON.The greatest conformltyrthe nost FASCIST of unlfornsrlB the .FREE cholce wlth whlch you ADORN yourselves.Trophlee of A oannaballsn.I.ook d.orvn fron YoUR croserlt ls TI{LRE that you w6er your gu1It. YOU ARE NOT l{t.You are the CORIORIITIoN.
They Afu:
you
uThe breezercatchlng the gate.rr floorboard,s above atgh und,er soEe welght. The rrNothlng lde.tt Tbe ehovel cut6 I1n€s throug,h polythene and brow.No blood fron THIS corpse.Spl1Ied, alieady.l.or theur. Ah testlnony.Stupld tr1fle. "Nothlng. "
fach cataBtrophe 1s the stlffnes6 of thelr btx.Brokon 1dols. the roega-d,eath.DEBIRE th6 flesh-plles as thelr owno Au s c[w 11,2.111ro shlna.ual trl.wo rde ln t he DictroNARy si-itri i, Iust. trThe. dayd,reqg wqE a lunryra-gtuplil fuoklng lu)Rlry.I The hotel affords a break.Refug,e.Rcat.Rctri'et 1n inrtr bew 1]{s1!oen1. 'rTen tlmee.Ten fuoklng timeg.rl Th9 pglt rlylon sheet8-llg a sl1aly pteyg,tbund tn thelr rsre.at twlghllght.Iookeat ln TII$ agalnel itre- Eonotonoue ooofonili, of thelr l.lve'rnetered, out l1ke tho tlclcr boyond ttre g[r[t-iired wlnd-ows.Th€ anonynlty of tho roon releeseb thcn fro& ihi bondage of tho past.No sllver fraoc thet tlo6 thop to !9I!1q PAR-dNTAGE.No sqrrpted, frgurh. to grrp thao Too ln hlatorlis. Thelr no_ralltyroovetoue inil alyrl,e-tcit ln t,he cup_-coarq ot.-helr own hone.For fc_ur d,ays and flve nrety nfghis tiey are the esaonc€ of a prlvate fantae!. They. NED
Auschwltz.HlroshlnaoUal l.a1.l/ihat
heavenB
jach evenlngras dusk fallsrtre palnts hls penle wlth the brllIlant scarletg of her 1lpstlck6.L1nce of lurlal red thst run ln sunburgte fron hle cookracroEe hls boity. She snll.esrbrlnglng her tongu€ to. her upP.r llpo Iach nlght the flnee ar€ prlnted onto her bodyrthe an61ce, posltlon and orderrthe llnee would fade ae the nlght prog,reesed,ithe topography of fove the sollesrbrlnglng her tongue to h6r upper llp. Sberln turnrcuts thln Iln€c lnto her bo{y vtlth a aurg,loal blederflne tlrread,-llke llne€ that Eiahe hrie deooratlve €ffort! appear cnrde and saveg,e.Tlrly drops of blood Eean throudh t,he cuts.She ooLlects each drop on her flngertlp and rlpes 1t acroEls her fable.Ae her cunt beoone8 Eore lurld she lnvlto! a clllrtax to thelr deslreg. she er0llesrbrlnglng her tongue to her upp€r llpo The dull buzz of the tel€v1slon-setrblaok and whlterls t,he onLy sound of greater oonstsnoy than th€lr nol8t grunto ard groans.A 1LiORoUGHIJ nodern aenral lty. They avralt the second oor;lng.Auschwltz.Hlroshlna.Iisl Lal. Thelr own reblrth. Re surre ct 1cn?Re aB 6uranc6 ? One early raornlngras the Ellver eun rleeo &bove thr seartby open the wlndovrs and shutterlrth€ star;nent elr lF audatenly freEhrthe curtaln8 Llft ln the sLlght breez€.slltherE of Ilght ln thelr ever-dusk. Blk1nl ls an leland no r0or€.The eeoond conlng.Afternatlve dawn.Nefl as6.The etench rleee above the 1ung1o. ";Ihat have-,!E done?tl Both ir,neellngrthey peer out to the stlU dull oosanrpclloan! rlse and fal1 to t,he gentlo awell that breeks ln rlbbone of whlte surf on the send and stone of tho shoroll,no.Tho sun sparkles noTrbreaklng the llne bct{v.en Bca end .ky.ghc tstc! hle oock 1n her hand and Boftly nrbo unt,ll he Btroots 6r€at gobs of spermrLhat wrlthe through the slrrto Eplet on the rlasg of the otren wlndow. illio* c*n we?" As he ro118 1n the i,leagure of hls orsaslorah€ LesnB sro06 hls bod.y and cloeee flrBt shutterrthon lrlnio$.'the ourtdnB hang llnp a6aln.i'lttout, alr.Iilthout llslit. the turns !o tl:s: !e Jev1r,1cn-gct.Dlack €uild'n.!lttj. /ece.nt.flrry f Lachlng, dcts, re6,1 s te r to AI'l lnte rfe renoe .R€verbe rirtlng llne tba.t Ilt statlc.'llavee of e.lrBPACgr llot rlsen yetr'!heee tonbs to !he plenet,o. Catliocie-ray iawng 1n ite own ).andscape of vlnyl end, nylon,Lt radlates tts trussed and, c1l.1conlsed, dayd,reans lnto oUR llvoe. She molstens her f lng,erttp and gcnt,Ly .nrbs her o'lltorls.;ara guelree of tnolstule bun frou her.-ount.t:cr.rvgt hend now ElldeE 1n i,.ros from her publs to her areehoLo. ira.Lf-deflned tnages fl.aoh acroEg the ssrsen. i{alrs fold lnro t}re creaged fleohrh&rd a5alnst, ll:e softnbos. of eound. Stutters rl----ll I oI rI rl. .I
91Lonce.
3llence.le
lt ls a r,rotqro8g,nlfloenoc lts pot€ntl1I; The televlslon-set.Black and vrhlte.fhoy lny alone ln thelr. a
carry 1t.
Agaln?Aga 1n?rr
In the YoUR
Your waLlet 18 the yellow star.rthose cuperstores are the. chanbersryet w1il1ni51y you tat5 ifre-lrairafns,you aeifre-t,he rvhlp and the flst and. the flane and the torf,ure of 1t booauEe you hang out of CHoIC.0 upon those o!o9a99o
vIoI,/ilIoN cAN you not the DIMENBIeN for lt.Vloarloue 5HIT3.You grovel 1n the tw16,hl,l6ht. As she flng,ers the oash-reglster tre craehee th€ frozen body of the chlcken down onto her hand.Bone and fat eni nrsoLc and meat. "ThattLL be,that|11 be,that|11 be,thatt11 b€.tl ?he cattle^push agalnst the curly wlro.iylde-eyed.prlokeai ln h1s nultl-ileath.The slBn above the dooroAueohilltz.Trbllnkr. Dre sden. Sob ldor.Be L s€n. i{lro sh lloa rNagasakl.Ual La1. OUR LIit IS IN BnLFAST,on the queens ruOHUeI. J.ayryour ruCKrrap€rdoslrc.ltal layryour I€?t .ye forg€t.Ms1 Lal.What 1s there to re!0enber?McBurgei.Wlnpey.ForA.!,iites. I'te st le .She 11.Baye r.rltoo lworth. I I . pad 1 o1. Virbotten.OUi. 5e cu r 1 co r. IB&i. PIil.!: 1 1 z abe th Re glna lt lnd so r. Lord, Chrtrt, ; trtOUTH,l;SH.Brylcream.Arsefuck.Colnan.It 1B TudY that, shall be purged"I clutch ny breastles8 breastrlt 1s TItiiIR gend,er. Ra.dlcal I.lvash.Wash.You Chrlstryou queenryou corporatlonrto THg SHO,iiRS.I an stooil here ln the ephenera of your Ehltty realltypyou armyryou nanrYou PIl,IP.You us€ ay ItrNIS es lf it 'rrere ycur rlght.I HAVE N0 ARlb IN thls rtAR.The slgn above the Coor.Cciop.Ms.rks.lescoe.What are thcse flags?garah-had but I half ltrgharon took the blad,e. rPIGIofupon the DOOR. There ls no absol.utlon 1n your Ca,iHy 5u11t. ONLY THROUGH TOTAL SUtsIfiSSIoN OR TOTAL
SjNSE anythlrrg.You have
C
'rBest noney can buy. How often f have heard, th€s€ sorobre beaeta oall lnto !0y dr€ oreansrthelr saddened song rlnglng across the neadowg.'rHere.over here.'t Thls tuftronce thelrsrnow IIiotorway.Thlg laneronce worn by themrnow a thread 1n oUR defense.Herdedrwere theyrlnto the wood.ed trucksrterrlfledras beaten wlth roetal po]ei.
p),ayg,rounCrthe
llttl€
9,111
atopr for a lrgEentreoac
slgns.1 hae reglatered.roesEageroodersl6nrLroeught
alrqvavee.Rung ln h€r nlnd,ra and.pre^dlots.ble_ patt6rns 6f
wrllet,.you
shame.Oh you Chrlsts. "How do you want 1i?'l How do YoU want lt?
a-word,rln whatcvcr foro,
lone mlght descrlbe
aeperate orgaen8. "
oan you not gee?The FI-ASH ls on IouR arrq Too.you oarry lt. You oarry 1t to tbose oanps as lf you ![A16 THE CHOICE.Iou' are BoTH.At onae v1ct1n and vlctlnlserroppres8or and opDnaos oppressed.Can you .not s€o tbat ln the absol.utlgn that ls YOURS Lg the ileath that you gEEK.One of the san€.Cerrled, ln the IIASTIC SHoPPINO BAOryou TAKE IT HOI{E.you have SEEN tbat d.eathryet st11I you BEAR lt.SfILL you bear 1t.I6 ther€ no
tran8c€nd thes€
ton6,ue runB frantlo acl.o6s her Delnted ll.pa. hor DI
Body bag. "short enough.tl Bocty bag.
Flaeh UPON the arn.LIKE TH!: NEEDI.E. Can you not see?The yel.low star ls upon
COULD
?
froi tkre atr. fleehpolnt lrr'the-shrlll eound, sl the pleyground.perhape t,he oovo_
nent of a branohra prtch of 1feli-t thfunn onto hei, bv the tbunp of a oa!-Aoor belng itEsued,. :llry,lp skyrth€.d1stant that for a scoond or€atcr :?T9!!1nq..sonethlng
..D1.lenge, tnenrls the ALL. 9oroewhero- perh&ps thet
ln
alrlves the vehlcle to the looel agent whos Job lt le to check the nechanloal condltion of the c ar. Engln€ .G€er-s . Clutah.gtee rlng. Llghte.tyre a . rrlilnerltrg the best that ooney can buy. 0n Frlda.y nlght a whlte Volvo was ln oolllslon wlth a statlonary vehlcleralthough nelther oarB app€ar€d d,arnaged., the drlver of the Volvorno other p€rsons were lnvolved, sustaln€at oerlous lnJurlee ln the heacl and chest,.The pollcs, who 4rrlved at the soeno shortly efter the aooldentreay thal he dtecl only nlnuteB bcforc htE arrlval at hospltal ln- a squaal-oar.It ls doubted, thst ncdloel help would have proved. to be of any as8lstancer rThe Plgs l.lead Oontrov€rey.l They eeek resolutlgn 1n the FoRCE of thelr Daterlallen,but ag t,hey are boughtrso t,hey sre eold.In the oattle-yard th6y sEo to thelr otn tranaportatlonr He pocro a-t, th9 glow.66tr6s6e-ray laultl layers bcnsath the glaea of the BhopfrrcntrThere 18-NO wcy ln-whlqh lt oan be ilone.the burAen of resDonalbllity ls loet ln th€ oldlwlfee enlp.Ife nrvsr reoov€r froE ttF TnAU&I of blrth forrln thlB reallty tIE ARE NE\|ER BORN. ,{e aro BUt perad,ox. lEA! golo.
Oncc everlr s1x nonth€ b€
The laden Jet $allors lts way to enowbound, algath.Ihe whlte peaka olar et the eky.
Tle nost Holy father offere hi8 ooeEunlon vrlth the gg91ig49.go Jvlne lor tfpse plou6 eouJ.srno bloott of ?HEIR Chrlst.lfotfrfn8 but the- oran6e_polsons of HIS body.The stenoh nfges iIOi- above the Jungle.
"ThererCown thers.rr
The natrix of death. ttohrlstrlhat have we done?rr The nathnatloe of forn. The tapeal voloes.Strange ln the
WOODIAND. t'
CILENCS.
dr..! ina !frno-- eUoui-iir.A ghrdo, la .Br;8kln6 $6-i iriir.i;r5iiiiiiu" Srlsfrlng.PagtolegtrFrertrOnr9rrt thc bcart.[irat the beeatrOn. Sneatothe RAIIJNGg.The DISIANT round of thc plrygrounar[rlgh].f Sn_t ry1e . Frant to deeho lrlter r trarte r.Ihr IJOHte fo ltt,lhroigh the MILINO9.Faetcr.Ihe OUj!F of horny ttrtrlrrnllctl Fvtnents.the oolrs. 08AgP of brotth rrd i\Rll. rrDorn rl
sh€ anoothos down her
oaet
oaas lve
J
v
10n9. Foorsrep.
emellg are rvARn.Fa8ter.tr&ster nor rSweltrBrcd(lr€rTho RAIIJI{o&
you b&Eterncl.Dgh. Cauglrt 1n flcnqy ohcstr the wlnd, blowc.
lYhen
lno flnger vlolatlon. Chrlst lndloated.
you , tba nrtu!a of your oDp!c.alon t! tbc AEgTtiETIC of Ey ANAR0HI. ( p.RrpI08 HtitD coNlRorft:RsI.IAtr ) ANARCHI. Ltry appearrnoe for you.I hrw Eg BppolnttA ny[ltrby dltpotttlon p€rhaFerbut none the lca.lt 1! I thrt ohgta lt.I ro gregarloue toorso cooe to you for DELIOH!dntl-rootrl by NATIIRd.Ylhat flner Ut)qtRY then 9OIJ1UDE?OM rnal tbo OlllDRr 8laok and whi.te.ANARoHIST by deet6,nr Of the cotrnunarda I oatr llttlcrtouohrd nryberbut only tttEN ln a rolaantlolsn.I Elxoal ono€ lrlth th. an8roblat vatarcnt ot th€ gDanlsh lvarrth€y oelled nc Ocr"gnlDolbeolucc of DJ' hrlrr they weu14 ooue for rc tn tho Dorntngrrllnblas! o1d Dn who would laugh ae I beoene dnrnk on tt!91r El:$ure -of sntrr rnc sherry.I shareai e nonth wlth those lottctT rolatcrg rrrd tehcn I hadnrt the rent to pay the lanalordrl lcft, ln thc olddlc of the nlg,ht wlthout seyln€ g,oodbyetfhsy Drcb8bly ore. thst, nornln8 snd found thst I hsd gon€.Cl.cronlDr1o.t ln tho alurt of CataLonla.The eare y€errln Parlsrl olrppeil.lngrnurellonothc boulcLondon.Deol4.l977.I xlrn
vard,g beneath handed.
the pltB. re that?whatrfron s that?Il ",Yhat but the br€eze. ;iilfl:tl,tf;"S.Nothlns
Scratohed, roaybe
IOTII, ueJ€sty Ig the soulg!r
black barmerBrbut elweyarllke the
a n a r o.h y these thlnga behtnd ln a aearoh for aboolutlon, I left ggE 1e BLIM. I now The CAT awalts HI'R knowledge. Nore I quest the lrrevocablerbut I have no rord! for ltrl d.eroand, 1lfe beyond, phllosophyryet an oaught ln thc ebyea
Maybe
wblch
between t,he twool Ls,ok no eelf-d.otertllnatlonrhave even
clalned the sllghtest of vlslonsryetrdrawn 1n the bor-atrlngr l1ke ttre arrowrl arn not yet flung. In ny klndest nonents I nay turn to your6o11c1t advlcarrldo your faEe.Do NOT be deluded by ny chare.I sheLl tel(o AI.L the credlt.iry burnt-earth pollcy ls WtiAT I HA\IE. .qNARCI{.I ")io natter.You can keep your boots and your pol1t1os outslde, rvhere they. belongroutsl<t6 on the street. She lathers the rloh eud,e of the wasblngrup 1lqu1d Lnto a thlck creanrslldlng her hands alternately up her arEe, stopplng an lnoh ghort of her freshly thaven arn-plts.9!0af1 l,lobs oi the foam bounce onto her orang€ r\ylon d.reasrfornlng prtche s tha t, ln t lr:re, ilry out to powderyrwhlte stalne ln the MoJav€ d'esortr Flashpolnt itT"n ilres.Ten fucklig t1n€6.I need ount.rl tie swlngs her aroundlforclng hsr mouth onto hl€.fhe clloL of enanef on enaroel.The acrld sne1l of the washlng-up flquld overpowere ttE varlous nore conslC.ered. gnel.la of thelr Deodorante .,iifter-shave, p€ rfune 8.Ta1c. Frozen bodleB 1n the supernerket store. Your tenple. rre ftrll.tl Tire body-bags -now . ihe re novr . " The re trshort enounh?'l "Too ntOKfNd short.Too frrcklng ghort.rl T?3r.il13 ;f,:i l3"r:?t?i,Nothlns'scraplnss that are NorHrNG' TI{AT resurrectlon. 'r l.e ft ?tt IIi fii3 PASTRY. 'r:ihen dld. you d.o that for me?rl "I never knew how.Is that bacl?I never knew how.rl H1s underwear ls overslze.Hls penls aird. balIe tiang ln the Elshapen gusset llke so cruoh. e$ollen ilead fLeshrtrophles of a cannaballsn. [1 want to f\rck 5r911.r1 By the empt,y socket a plug J.aye ln the d.ust and, scrap of tbe uncleaned. carpet.Dlsturbedrthe alust w1lL gne11 of those eane deodorantsrafter-ghavesrperfunesrtalc.Years of thelr rot tonustv cupboard' of thelr HoldE. f;8llil o
Sbatloreroaat naselvely long,. nlYhat
ebout lt?tl t'I auppose you xero Just aunbathlng?r "th.n?What ar€ you talklng, about,?Whcn?rt thought Ird oausht the ooaoh to Earcolona,thatre ;[:g:rt"" ttHorA brought n€ up a drlnl(,thetrs all.a d,rlnx,.thatts ell. ' ell.lhey do that you knor?taltcra.They alo that.rr "Tbet lsnrt AI.L. they..alo ls lt?I6 lt?That 18nrt ALL they do.rl "But re d1d nothlne.)l lDonrt_oone^ ltrfor-nroka aakcrd.onr! oone 1t.I SAIV you.Ten tlDB.Ten fuollng tlDo6.I gA't yOU.N Tbcy as.onb]e_at tlrc oornerrrsoroo gf then carry hone-nad.e tcaponry iHlEbJI gbarpened kltohen knlvca.Fole a- we lg,hted at ono cnd, rlth Lcad lngerts.Knuckle d,uetcrs faehloneA ln leathcr and rlre.Oatapults out fron elo and a6h.One of then oarrlca a pLstolrno onc but lt3 ornor knors lf lt 1s toy, replloa 9r r-qJ:thoy are too aDpnrhon8lvo to aakrtoo aw66, to en6rlrertoo f111c<1 rtth fcer and adniratlon. 'lve dld nothlngrnotblng at alI.rt "Tcn firoklng tlnca.l "Nothlng.wc dld notblng. tt r\f,E? n rWErrtho eternel rWEr.tbe d,agger ls b€for6 you. "Yca116 rlg (lld notblDg,.'r '\YErtrErfor firolg selieryou..sound, llke yourro fucklng BarrleA to hlD.trErfor firokg sake.n He keepe tbe ploto1 tucked 1n the belt of h1s trouaere.In hlg pocketB tbore aro bulletar6w€et-trappersr6nda of strlng, elagtlo band.a, oruBh€d, eggshella, stoneerhalrcllpsrw:,re and enall change.
rut,. ItFor Chrlste sake.What the fuck?Daydrean.Fucklng d.ayd.rean. !'or Chrlsts sak€ra luxuryra fucklng stupld luxury." He bnrshes a looee tuft of halr fron h1s eyee,squlntlng, now. THROUGH the tlnted glaes.Tho road before hfuo. Rlbbone of our h€rltage.
nNo.No.A check.A fucklng road check.'l ad che ck. Ide nt1ty. Nane .Age . Addre ss .occupat Ion. Ll ce nce . InB urance.Test certlflcate.llhen?What?Why?Agaln and Ag,aln. Ro
Th€y too have an aesthetlc.Do not 1r0ag1ne that as developea, SO WILL TIIEIRS. wlpes the oondensatlon He rrDorn e1r, ro11lt down. 'l rrDorn
glrr ro]1 1t
-
YoURS
fron the elde-wlndow.
d,own.'l
"Aga1n? " tt
fl rs. ...NOW .....GET
...OUT.
Ryth-oa of our herltagee The g€cond blow 1a to the
OUT.rl
chestrlt brlngs
hfuo reeJ-lng
for-
ward.rchoklngrsplutterlngrhe d,oubles uprbut 18 thrown forcefully back agalnrov€r t,he boruretras a hnoe ls eloashed 1nt,o face. hls ttHow nanJr tlnee?'l ttAe nargr'as lt takes.'l ttNo. t'
Parchnent shade;therapy ln the long tern un1t.Co1l lead; therapy ln the long tern unlt.Chlantl baaeleol o Elornon the nlghtrnultrnlxltherapy ln th€
amorerhow we danoed on
takes.Ponce.rl "lEs.As long as Ltwhlte Volvo waa ln colflelon wlth a Frlday nlght a statlonary vehlcleraltbough nolther carB appeared danaged., the drlver of the Volvorno other persons were lnvofved, suetalned serlous lnJurles ln the head and, chest.The pollce, wbo arrlved at th? 6cene shortly after tbe accld.entrsay that he d.led. only nlnutes before h1e anlvaL at Lrospltal ln a squad.-oar.It le doubtetl that, roed.1cal help woulC have proved to be of any asslstano€. YOUR WALLET IS A YELLOIY STJ.R.You deslre the whlp and f18t and flane and tortur€ of ltrbecause you SENSE NOTHINO,becaus€ you FIIEL NOTHINGrbecause you DESIRE TtlE CRUCIFIXION aB the ALTERNATIIR: ORGA5II. Ih€r1a ls no BREECH because they are of YollR EL.PLOY. Lond.on.Jan4.1980.For a wh1le norv I have nleeed ttre 111un1natlon of th€ daythe nlght has passed. as a cloud of whlch I have taken I'10 HirdD.of couraerf wouLd seek a CLiTANiR vlalon, but what chance 1s therc when I CAN NOT :TaND back. WHAT IS THE EXIST'NTIA! IYESI.
long tern ulrlt. I take Evee apple. The oredlt 18 DUE. Hangl:€ 1n the buzz of 1t. VALIUI{ s1lght. VALOUR "Can you nake 1t then?rr He reachee for the cnropled eheete of yeat'erd'airs paper. tl.lthesono Llsa drope a coup16 of boobs.what, a palr!' Bl.klnl doublee. Llvld oorps€s ln the spong€ upholstery. The oovers fal1 away fron h1g bcaly exposlng hls penlerERECll
On
TlIEraplsts.
stlffrIIARD.
of one hand. The eound t' "chr1gt.
"That
the autonatlc llghter lnto the ronr poeltlon. lappln8 rrAh weLl. rr Tbe car lurchee to the rlght,lcaught ln an abnornally larg,e
''Yep..
L'SSILLLTUINATION. \?ho \lrAM[S to see those bod.lee?
?
"Dear pussy.Dear Bweet pusgy.Shsll we g,o home?'l Tbe car 1s an lnmaculately roalntalned whlte Volvorthe bunps badly repalred road hardly reglster. 11 tl" noney "Beat can buy. placee a fllter-clgarette He 1n hl,s Eouthrat, the eaxoe tlne
Th€ Leather-glove craehes across h1s Jaw.Hls head snashee acro8a the wlndow Bcreen of HIS car.
The 116ht hae not boen ueed 1n all that tlne.
'r.-hat
Bone a.nd
"Ye p. 'r11sw long w111 1t take?rl trAa long ae lt takee.rl we have to?rl 'lDo rtYEt.rTHEYr.A docuDent of Hcw
*3rin"
"chrlst, what?rt I 'trihat the fuok e that.
hle nlnd. fat and. nuecle and eeat.The body hacked and torn. NOW I!{MOBII.E. He kneele lor a nonent 1n the alaughter brlnglng hle tongue to hls upper llppflngers sllpp1ng ln ttte neei of f1eeh.HJ searches out h1B OWN deslre. 'rPleaaerpleaee rpleaee rpleaee.'rRung 1n
EVEN THEN.
rl
rr
. t'
oblect?what ls there to
"Iy d 1ch, see ?D 1ok. Pr1ok. Cod.Haapt on oEro of o9tl f f .Hard.hr lslng ln th€ half-ll9,ht.!V tool rr r fucklng- 8re at. knob. Plrnpln8.Thunplng, 6,reat donger.ORUtOUf i{q. She bencls d.own to pull.the loop of her str€t,ch-ny1on slacks over her hee1s.sh6 seee the sultoase und,er her bedrthe broken clothes-horserthe dlanond. pattern sockrthe hardened sole paller than the elaetlcated upperBr t'I dont t 11ke lt.I Juet dontt ]1ke 1t,.rl She feels the warn sperrn runnlng lnto the crotch of her pants. [It I g eo ftroklng neesy.'t
ACGPT?Isolated FACT that bas no ld.entlty but lteeIf?Can I pretenal any trore control tban the choklngrsplutterlr€ worklngs of My MIND?I cl1nb these roountalne but have N0 IDEA of thelr PEAK,each nonent 18 a vlctory of &.Y o}YN WILLreach monent a ToTAL ACHIEVEMiiNT.YeI stl1l I an forced lnto t,heee llnear dlnenslons.We are descrlbed ln LINE.IYe c1aln to roove for"rerclryet always we travel T0 THE RIGHT.SO D3EP IN TH.E CONTIlllru!{.
have boen solcl a lle.The b€st Boney oan buy. very structure of our OIVdn reallty 1s HoAX. ln lehlch we oxlet ls based. on the tconceptr of perspectlvera renalssance ldea that d.lagrannatlcally creates rfolard.r.
lYe
The
The reallty
rrr'{hat ?What?rl
aI reallty ln whtch there exlste the Inotlonr of r I and the roBJEcr I .APART. tlr and the robJectr tLrat gave It wag the Leolatlon of the the spoken word rfornr ae the prlnted woral.The dlmenelon of llnearrleft to rlght snd can th€ prlnteal wordras obJectrlB only aoooroodatg the roonceptt of forrard.ras subJect. The two naJor dlnenslons of our reallty ar€ ln oPFoSITION, altnectlonal and 6patlal. At the hlstorlcsl polnt that rlr becaroe FzuiE fron rALLt, releaeed at laet fron the BONDAGE of M(STICAL THoUGHT a new era of CONFUSION ras CONCIEViiD.
the l1ne of sallva drops fron h1e mouth onto the plllow. 'tf dontt ]1ke you fuoklng tre.Do you und'erstand that?" He ls asleep. she plcks up an enpty sllver.frane fron the nantleehelf.trls that all'rIs that blooiy ALL?" They are booked already thls year.Cost,a Brava.They had always booi<ed the Costa itel 5io1 ln the paetrbutrbecauEo the broohure had been fa.te thls yearrthey had. had to eottle for geoond cholce.A dlsappolntnentrbut one tha.t they bopecl would not affect thelr vaca.tlon. A predlcaD6ntrbut there. They I{AD booked the SoI and got the EMVA.Ah well.they hacl ADI{AYS bookecl the 9ol. 1n the paetrancl would ln the futuret yes,.r woufdnrt natt,er 90 rnucho0heaper.Oonsolatlon. one ttlf ihey hadnrt been late.rl Ausohwltz.Hlro ttltts a ghane."shlma.Mal I,,1. ttl dontt thlnk 1t w11,1 be nuch cli.fferent.rl "oh vee.oh vesrso truch less apollt.rt
";thaitTfre S;uRubblshrltre all the blooity aenernllea and nllee of eouvenlr ohoirs, flshrnr chlpalparle angleeerfuclrlng kraut6,therats not a bloody SpalllarA wlt,hln e hundred mlleB of the co3gt.rt "oh donrt be so sltly.lYhat about Angelo?rl 'rtiho t,he he]I 1e Angelo?" 'rYou renember Angelo. "ii I ata renenbir her lrd 8€.Jr sQorl "H1to. " 'rH1n? "
"Shs tag a he." r gt,l11 clonrt renenb€r hlll.rl "eirrehir;rrisht.sut "Oh oi o6urse-you doryou knowrthe on€ wi'th t,he ourly bl&ok ha1r.'l 'iAII gpanlards havo curly blaok halr.rl "llot 111'.e Ange 1o s . " Angelos.who the helL'WA9 Angelo?rr "itot llke AnEeloe.Not l1kewalterrat the hote1." know,the "Iire walter.You rl ut^"1€ poDC€e "ihat ttHe wag eweet.tt rr:le trag a creep.tt
DrldENsroNAL DIIENSIONS.
..TIIERE I9 NO BIIODY IITEI.N gtrlislfpi iron rrer r\yloa .leolrl sndrnrftlng hor pant. d'otrn to tsneeerehowa hln the Etalned cFotohr her ibrra[ia y6ur ouu on therordo y9u !6e?,rtrev eta;a on tho hlUock;the- llttle glrl hops.on€'1To'Thr€e' 5tre"fs unatare of tb€lr pi'esenoc.tbe loud sbot rlngs out 1n th€ llttle g1r1 the stllI alr.The lBpaot of thc bullct tbrors scveral reet across iue parLlnS-lot'Tbey grlurace and g1881e, parodylng adult fear.lbey do not car€rtbere ls no Eeter by rhloh thev could. ttso that ihey oen oooe baok.il .. rTHEyr.rt "itoyitxsyrrirere 1s no
that f oen oone baok." Rc6urrootlon?Roarruranoo?R a t 1 o n a 1 1 a a t 10n. gOt{ETHINo lrOlIB. 'iSo
DE!:!ER 1ga1g
cnroltlot1on.
ltlE
HON(.
'r0harnlng tn$ afa€.rr 't;Jhat do-yoir nean?t'
Enolr cuts a lterrY cFotoo tnst the lecoird tlo?rl s1n81e bulb 'ie rii Jilir-iiiaoi-irish€" ia the colct llgbt'tbo Breyo 1n th€ sllght brcczerbnrelred ln the arn-novement. "Ch'rlrt ln beaveirrhet, 1s lt?xlhat le lt?tt 311cnoc 16 r woRD. cut whlte Thc bladc oetohos her h18h cbeek-bonerthe sl1ght1y of eyc ls hldilen as 6he ralges her head to the geconil thnrst.
"If I
you 9EE?" Thc blealc oatohee
'lHe wag ch&rrlng.tr
.
well what I Eean.rr .. what you neant Itd say so.rt A11 these viarnlngs are wrltten 1n the eandr v;cll do know.You fanolecl hln.You "You Co know.you bloody fucklng, fancled h1n. rt tlked so ntupld.I hlorh€ was sweetrthetrs all.rl 'tDontt-be "lle wae a BmarEy I1tt1€ creeprsnlfflng around anythlng wlth 'rYou kncw-bloody knerv
tlts. rr In +-he enpty expanse of tarrcecrthe 1ltt1e g1r1 playe hopscotch over cnrd,ely d,rawn chalk 1lneB.Tbo natrlx 1s Alfferent g,gloe .1s the ealoe.A chll.dg gard.en. but rhe I s not tlte.Not true .rl "That ilOh no?No?Jfell what about that afternoon on the Yeranda?tr
Thc
gECoND
oonlng.
'rDg
tuftE of her forelockrtorn away ln th€ IS NO IWEI.I' ry '.I The oatrehe lurks so fatthfully to savour thls hunan meatt gll<lee allently betf,eon tb€ frenzy of lege.she pJ.aya wltb f,hc clotty luro-pe of forelocts aa lf they rerc YerulDr€xeout,ad for her pleasure. foroe.
ANSTER.THERE SII,AI.L HAVE Exlstentlel PIRADoX.
ill4y anarcr.l$r anarer.
rr
blaile elashearelltherg a,nd sllde8.Carnage 1n The rrPleaaerpleaaerpleaaerpleage.rrRung
ln her Elnd.
the narrow.
DUAffiNEAR
and'
SPATTAL
In textelnallelngr p€rBp€ct1v€ 1t IS DESTRoyED.To d'escrlbe 1t8 NATURE We DEFY 1tS I.AWS. Iilc d.rlft fron one node to the other ln TOTAL CoNFUSIoN. How can lvE exlst as SUBJEC! anct oBJECT. We are eMN perspectlvo wlthout and the flnear word' wltkrln. SPLIT 1n tro between a left/r16ht dlloenslonrword that deflnee llferand a apat,LaJ/tot:rard dlnenelonrllfe that DEFIE$ word. The DICHoTOIff le presanted A.5 A UNIT 1n the eeed.e of oUR IERSONALITY.
Th€ Bound of two hande clapp1ng. The IRREVOCABII eound OF 811enco. Th€ €xlst,ent1a1 |YESr ls tlle exlstentlal
-
rNOr.
London.Decl4.1977.I trove tlty head fron tho blankneee of self to the blankneee of the wlndow. Iondon.Jan5.IgSO.tlow I ao aflror none,of that blanlenees.l4y EYES are the oPAQUE panes that can not be brok€n.There are N0 SHIIITERS to SElFrcaught INSIDE.No curtalns to llftrno rlndows to breakrno breeze ln whlch to batheralone WITHIN. A Btrearo flowe betwe€n TWO banksrrYE T00. I ask you ln.There ls no you.I travel' to you and there 1s no I.We are nere technlolans that play wlth LINES IN SPACE. WE ARE
A
TOPOGRAPHY OF THAT WHICH
IS.
there ls N0 forn. The stagnant alr 1s the TRUTH of !t. Llke the arrow IN THE AIR,I an not yet
FLUNG.
DESCEN1.
she cleans away the 1Tft--6T-E'carlet f1p-6t1ck fron her upper-
l,1p wltb h6r forflngeroshe puckerg her nouth.Srollee.Baree her teeth. rrAh ne.Atr.Ah.Ah.In n€.In ng.rl She w1p€s tbe flnger at the baee of her 8p1ne.Red l1neE flke the welt of !6M0RIES,J.eft on the SNoWLINE. She shuffles on the ellk upbolstery of the stooL.Tug of halr s1lk and, flesh. lbetween tril,e.Oh yes.trd€.rr She -looke closeJ.y 1n the xolrror at the thln Ilne of pencll
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aLove her upper-.tld.She plucks a loose halr from her eyebrow" ;. tear well-s across her l-ower lld.The menlscus bul.gesrbursts and gende a flne sl1t,her of n,olsture acrosc her cheek.
I hc w i.l,hdraws f rorl tl'ie nl.rrorral"lowlng the tearJrop to fall ! inco t.h" tufts of her publc-hr.lr. I Fleur des yeux. I lhe forlorn lau,ps dr1trrp1ng 1n Lhe eveninq; fog. E "lFt ln the l1ght.Let ln Lhe floht.rl I ':r'.. are no shutters, no t1de6.H1s spern ls DiiY on the g,lass the window. I . Lut'ns for a niomentrseeklng connectlon.There ls none.the .. irs back at t,he nlrror'. j ';,lr you.You. " '.; l o,.rrrols of ).lg,lrt sparkfe ln the f rame of the nlrrorrtlny I nalnbows that cascade acrcss the cell-1ng. i Th: l le no one above. i ":u..,, s€€?you gee?rl !;he stares Into the refl-ectl,on.The space of H]iR room.Above 1.,.r bed she hae carved WORDS lnto the plaster. {
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