30 THINGS I LOVE ABOUT MYSELF Book Club Kit

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DEAR BOOK CLUBS, I’m so excited for you to discuss 30 Things I Love About Myself ! I’ve always loved book clubs and have gained so much from them over the years, whether it’s simply having a chat with like-minded book lovers (is it just me or are book-lovers always guaranteed to be the nicest people you’ll ever meet?), enjoying an opportunity to unwind with a few drinks, or getting really deep into a thought-provoking discussion that stays with you long afterwards. Whatever your experience of book clubs is, I hope that 30 Things enables you to do some or all of those things! I’ve helped compile a list of discussion questions for you to think about if you need any inspiration, but really, I would say just focus on whatever aspects of the novel speak to you the most. A lot happens in Nina’s story and it covers a lot of themes, from mental health to racism to loneliness to (my favorite) self-love. I imagine some of you will be able to relate to a number of these elements and will have your own personal stories to share with each other, as well as your experiences of reading the book, so I hope you’re able to really open up with each other. Enjoy talking about it, and if you can, please share your thoughts with me! I would LOVE to know what you think about the book generally, but also about any of the individual characters because, in true cliched writer form, they’ve all become quite real to me. I’m on Instagram and Twitter @radhikasanghani if ever you want to share. In short, thank you for reading my book and choosing to discuss it in your book club. I hope it does its job in providing a basis for good, varied, interesting conversations—and a lot of fun!

Love, Radhika


PL AYLIST This is a playlist I’ve had on Spotify for years and listen to whenever I need a little self-love boost in my life. I find it so helpful to listen to the words in these songs on repeat—it’s almost like the musical version of affirmations, but better, because you get to dance to them too! I’ve tried to share it with my friends whenever they’re going through a low selfesteem moment, because I’m such a big believer in its power. Unfortunately, none of them ever listen to me, and I’m still the only one that listens to this. But hopefully that will change now I’m sharing it with you!! Enjoy. And feel free to send me suggestions to add to the list as I’m constantly adding to it.

I LIVED

OneRepublic

FIGHT SONG Rachel Platten

GOOD AS HELL Lizzo

STRONGER Britney Spears

LOVE YOURSELF

Mary J. Blige, Kanye West To Hear More, Click This Link


RECOMMENDED READING As I say in the acknowledgements, so much of the wisdom in this book isn’t my own. I’ve acquired it through many books I’ve read, podcasts I’ve listened to, and wise people I’ve spoken to over the years. I’ve credited everything I can, but I would also like to share my favorite self-love related books here. In some way, they will have all inspired 30 Things I Love About Myself. Some of them are obvious self-help, but some of them are fictional novels that spoke to me. I hope you enjoy them all!

BIG MAGIC Elizabeth Gilbert This book changed my life. People kept telling me to read it when I had a creative block but I refused. I think I wasn’t ready to heal it. Finally, I found the courage to download it to my Kindle. It helped me move past my fears around creating, and now I re-read it every single time I have some kind of creative block. I think it is beyond wise and is basically a bible on creativity.

DARING GREATLY Brené Brown I’ve read all Brené’s books and am picking this one randomly. I think they’re all great. They were probably my entry into self-help books, and I love everything she says about the power of vulnerability and the importance of living a wholehearted life. It’s something I try and do daily, and I like to think it’s what Nina does too.


THE FORTY RULES OF LOVE Elif Shafak I think Elif is a beautiful author, and this book is my favourite of all her novels. It’s about a Sufi mystic and a modern-day housewife. It’s full of wisdom—40 rules of the stuff—and all of it is spiritual. I loved it so much that I once tried to copy out all 40 of the rules. I re-read it every time I need a book to guide me without being didactic.

HOW TO LOVE YOURSELF (AND SOMETIMES OTHER PEOPLE): SPIRITUAL ADVICE FOR MODERN REL ATIONSHIPS Meggan Watterson and Lodro Rinzler This book is my equivalent of the one Nina finds. It landed in my lap, quite literally, after I broke up with my ex. He gave it to me when we exchanged our stuff, thinking it was mine. It wasn’t. I’d never seen it before. But I read it on the train home and cried the whole way. It helped me heal after my break-up and reminded me that the only answer was to love myself. It’s full of Buddhist and Christian wisdom, so it might not be for everyone, but if you’re into spirituality, you could love it.


ALL 7 AUTOBIOGRAPHIES Maya Angelou I know recommending seven books from one author is a lot. But Maya is not your average author. She has lived seven books’ worth of life. That’s my favourite thing about reading her work. Obviously, she’s an incredible writer, and a self-love queen (Phenomenal Woman is proof of that), but she’s also been through a lot. Like, a lot. The most amazing thing about her memoirs is how many different things she’s done in her life. She is proof that you’re never too old for anything. If you choose to live a big life, a lot is going to happen to you. So get ready for the ride.

PERSUASION Jane Austen This is one of my favourite novels. It’s probably the least famous of Austen’s, but to me, it’s the most relevant to our lives today. It’s about a woman called Anne Elliot who is past her prime at the ancient age of 27. Her options do not look good. But as the book goes on, Anne gets her bloom back and things change. In essence, Anne goes on the early 19th century equivalent of Nina’s self-love journey.


HOW TO LOVE YOURSELF THIS YEAR: 1. Start celebrating yourself. Even if you feel there is nothing to celebrate, there

is. I promise. Just dig deep and ask people around you for inspiration if you need it. And if you’re in a good place and have plenty about yourself to celebrate, then enjoy this! Bask in how great you are! Celebrate!

2. On that note, why not start your own list of things you love about yourself? It worked for Nina; it can work for you too. Just don’t feel pressure to get to a certain place by a certain point. Instead try and have faith your list will keep on growing as your self-love does the same.

3. Spend time with yourself. Maybe go on a date with yourself like Nina does. Or

maybe just take more time thinking about what you actually need. Start to see the positives in time alone rather than the negatives.

4. Ditch the word “should.” Swap it for “could” and start getting curious about

how things shift for you. Do you still feel the pressure to do that thing you don’t actually want to do? Are you realising you have new options?

5. Embrace affirmations. In dark times, I’ve gone full psycho and written things

like “I BELIEVE IN YOU” on my mirror in red lipstick. It works. Honestly. I also say “I love you” to myself every time I wake up or go to sleep. I like to think of it as self-parenting.


6. Try and be kind to yourself. I’m still working on this but I know it’s the way forward in life. It’s basically the only way to succeed at anything. So every time you hear yourself being mean to yourself, take a moment. Stop. Breathe. And just try to be compassionate. Maybe that means actively reminding yourself you’re amazing. Or maybe it just means acknowledging that you’re suffering and things are hard right now.

7. Focus on your appearance. I know that can seem a bit anti self-love, but I

don’t mean start trying to meet unattainable beauty standards. I just mean – think about your appearance. What makes you feel good? Start wearing things YOU like, and doing things YOU like with your appearance whether that’s wearing/not wearing make-up, or something with your hair. I think there’s something really powerful about expressing yourself through your physical appearance.

8. Listen to my Spotify playlist on repeat. I promise it helps! If you constantly surround yourselves with the message that you are perfect just the way you are, including with your flaws, it will eventually sink in.

9. Try and add some things you formerly saw as negative to your “Things I Love

About Myself ” list. So, maybe you can learn to see the beauty in your impatience, or the good intentions behind your people-pleasing. This doesn’t mean condoning behaviour we don’t want to exhibit; it just means accepting it, embracing it, and taking the good bits whilst we work on ditching the bad.

10. Think of yourself as your own best friend. When things are good, have fun

with yourself! Go dance around your home! When things are hard, give yourself a hug. An actual one. When things are scary, remind yourself that you’ve got this. Because you do.


DISCUSSION QUESTIONS 1.

At the start of the book, Nina can barely think of six things she loves about herself. Could you write a list of things you love about yourself? Do you think it’s important to love yourself?

2.

Something Nina really struggles with is loneliness—within her former relationship and with her friends— whilst solitude seems to help her heal. Do you think there is a difference between being alone and being lonely?

3.

Nina gets canceled for her views on race. What are your thoughts on how she handled the situation?

4.

Alejandro is incredibly harsh to Nina when they break up. Do you think his reaction was justifiable?

5.

Nina’s family takes up a big part of her life. How do you feel about her attempts to help Rupa and Kal? What do you think of Auntie Trish?

6.

Rupa doesn’t think a mother and daughter should be friends and she stresses that while she loves her daughter, she doesn’t always like her. Is this an unusual depiction of a mother-daughter relationship? How does it compare to other mothers and daughters in popular culture?


7.

10.

Spirituality plays a huge role in Nina’s journey toward loving herself. Are there any particular messages that really resonated with you that you’d like to incorporate into your own life?

Nina’s journalism is focused on tackling complex topics and raising awareness What did you think about the articles she wrote and the messages behind them?

8.

11.

Nina also goes on a journey to create new friends as an adult (as well as heal an old friendship . . . ). Can you relate to any of her friendship struggles? Which of her friends did you like the most?

9.

Rupa and Nina both date at the same time. What do you think about their different approaches to dating? Do you think they show anything about generational differences in attitude?

30 Things I Love About Myself doesn’t finish with a traditional romantic happy ending. What did you think of this ending for Nina’s story? What do you imagine her going on to do in the future?


Photo credit © S.E.B.C. Photography 2021

RADHIK A SANGHANI is an award-winning journalist and author based in London. She writes features for publications like the Daily Mail, Daily Telegraph, The Guardian and Grazia. Her two previous novels, Virgin and Not That Easy were published in 13 countries worldwide, with Virgin made into an online TV series. Radhika is also a body positive campaigner, and founded the #sideprofileselfie movement to celebrate big noses. 30 Things I Love About Myself is her third novel. RadhikaSanghani RadhikaSanghani RadhikaSanghani.com


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