15 minute read
FABULOUS FLOPS
This pandemic has done many things, not least given some people too much time to wonder about things they mightn’t ordinarily think about. Dud trucks, for example. We often hear stories of old classics but what about the makes and models that didn’t quite light the fires of fame and fanfare? Steve Brooks takes a short trip down a memory lane littered with a few glaring lowlights
IN TIME, some trucks become classics. Others don’t, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they were duds.
No, the real duds are those shockers that take on a heritage all their own. Remembered, you might say, for all the wrong reasons.
So now, with the pandemic providing a little too much time to think about the past rather than the present, and enough experience to recount the makes and models that have maintained a deservedly dark and critical crevice in this commentator’s cranium, here are a few carefully considered lesser lights from the commercial vehicle vault.
I must stress, however, these opinions are my own and I accept there may be those with an opposite view of these maligned machines. But somehow, I doubt it. On the other hand, there may be those who have their own tortured memories of trucks they consider even worse than those mentioned here.
Funny thing though, it’s probably much easier to define a dud truck than a good truck.
Like, after more than 40 years writing about trucks and road transport I’m sometimes asked: “What’s the best truck you reckon you’ve ever driven?”
Quite seriously, there’s no easy answer to that because so much depends on the job and even the era. For instance, how could you rate a big banger pulling three or four trailers through the heat and heavy sand of Western Australia’s pindan country to the demands of a slick interstater notching big distances up and down the east coast or across the trans-continental paddock? Or a comparison between a modern medium-duty truck with its swathe of safety systems and creature comforts, and a machine like Isuzu’s remarkable SBR: a very basic model by today’s standards but one that did more to put Japanese trucks on the map in this country than any other?
No, ‘the best truck’ question has no easy answer at all. A question with much easier answers would be: “What are the worst trucks you’ve come across?”
Vastly easier. Indeed, they can even be split into respective weight divisions – light-duty, medium-duty and heavy-duty, with a few ‘honourable mentions’ thrown in. In fact, there’s even an outright winner. The worst truck by far, hands-down, is an absolute shocker, but we’ll get to that.
Not-so heavy hitter
Starting at the big end, there’s just one stand-out winner. Leyland Marathon!
Back in the late ’70s when Leyland believed it still had a future in Australian road transport, the Marathon was brought here for a benign attempt to rekindle the dying Pommie powerhouse’s past glories.
As something of a young buck with the once esteemed Truck & Bus Transportation magazine, I often rode shotgun with our regular test driver
back then, Don McGlinchie. Over a number of years I would come to learn so much from this man about the finesse and pride of driving a big truck well, but when it came to the single-drive Marathon test truck there was nothing but derision on both sides of the cab.
So poor was the ride, so weak was the performance, so awful was the whole package that we gave Leyland the benefit of the doubt and held our report for a few weeks until a 6x4 version was provided to tow the same trailer over the same test route. Surely, we thought, it couldn’t be as bad as the first truck.
Well, it was a whisker better, but not enough to depose Marathon from the memory bank as the worst heavy-duty unit ever tested. Even so, our report went relatively easy on the truck but it made no difference because most of the nails had already been driven into Leyland’s coffin anyway.
However, in the lighter end of the heavy-duty class, there’s a six-wheeler rigid worthy of a few lines, not so much because it was a dud of any great note but because its reason for being was so way out-of-step with the standards of its creator – Kenworth!
The truck was the K300 and it remains a riddle to this day why Kenworth Australia in 1995 chose to introduce an anachronistic model with a Brazilian-built Volkswagen cab to tackle local delivery work. A truly dud choice that achieved the absolute minimum of success it so richly deserved.
Out of step
So, now to the medium-duty contenders, starting with a not-so-honourable mention of Hino’s horrible KL model. While Isuzu was changing the way Australian operators thought about Japanese trucks, the KL seemed to be doing its darnedest to keep the British in business.
And speaking of British, the hands-down winner of the worst medium-duty model goes to the original Ford Cargo. Actually, it’s hard to decide whether it was the worst or simply the most disappointing. Probably a big slice of both.
Either way, Cargo came here in the early 1980s with high expectations as Europe’s newly crowned ‘Truck of the Year’ but almost immediately revealed severe shortcomings in most areas, most notably build quality. It leaked like a bottomless bucket. Woops, nearly forgot, it also had woefully bad wedge brakes.
Ford was a big player in the Australian truck business back then and this young scribe’s test report in Truck & Bus did not go down well. ‘Great Expectations … But Not Quite!’ wasn’t quite the heading Ford was hoping for, leading to a delegation of senior executives baying for blood and resorting to their greatest weapon, the advertising budget. Fortunately, Truck & Bus founder and publisher Frank Shennen stood firmly by his somewhat cocky young staff writer, though a verbal reminder of who pays the bills wasn’t lost in translation.
Made in China
Whatever, a long and wonderful career could’ve ended right there, and that would’ve been a great shame because I would not have had the chance to experience the worst truck to ever hit the Australian market. Bar none!
So folks, here it is, recipient of not only the worst light-duty workhorse but also the most woeful truck to ever grace our shores – China’s JAC.
Launched in mid-2012, JAC’s entry to the Australian market was the brainchild of an entrepreneurial group who, with some justification, saw a highly lucrative future for a Chinese truck with a good spec and an incredibly attractive price tag.
What they seemed to forget though, was that the Australian market expects trucks to be of a particular standard. To be blunt, JAC was a true shocker with the worst and potentially dangerous on-road manners of anything before or since its arrival.
A true shocker and it still beggars belief that someone in the group actually gave the truck the go-ahead to tackle our market in the form it was presented.
Gratefully, there are no bad trucks anymore. Sure, some are better than others, some last longer than others, and even today some are still sold into the wrong applications. But as for a genuinely dud, horribly designed truck, they don’t really exist anymore.
And for this we should all be immensely grateful. Personally, I’m not sure I could survive another bout with some of them.
Opposite: The JAC, imported from China in 2012, came with a cheap price tag
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SEE THE LATEST AT DIESEL DIRT & TURF
Check out the new releases at Sydney Dragway, April 9 to 11, 2021
The National Diesel Dirt & Turf Expo has become the premier event for the earthmoving, construction and public space management industry to announce its new releases. This year, the upgraded facilities at the Sydney Dragway is the venue from Friday, April 9 through to Sunday, April 11.
All the latest products and technology will be on show, including landscape materials and equipment, site preparation, earthmoving equipment and attachments, GPS tracking and environmental solutions to public space management, plus much more.
Komatsu will be showing its model WB97R-8, the latest in its range of backhoe loaders. This new release offers two-wheel steering and a powershift transmission, a high level of standard specifications and unrivalled operator visibility thanks to Komatsu’s unique combination of a lateral exhaust pipe and compact bonnet.
“With a long tradition and well-established experience on the worldwide market, Komatsu has renewed its image with the 8 series, and introduced a new model in an always competitive BHL scenario,” says Komatsu’s national sales manager utility, Carl Grundy.
“The operators’ needs are at the centre of attention with this new WB97R-8, with higher standards the basis of its development.”
From Norm Engineering is the Silage Grab, designed as the perfect two-in-one attachment for agricultural, forestry, land, and waste management. The grab/stick rake combination makes this an ideal attachment to clean up properties, clear fire breaks, manage feedlots, waste and recycling.
Once fully opened, the silage grab can be used as a stick rake/dozer to clear and move silage, animal feed, logs, debris, rubble and rocks. The strong serrated edges on the tynes allow the grapple arm to firmly grab and carry various materials and hay bales. Hydraulically operated, the tynes can open to 1,150mm.
Specialist recruiter Just Automotive Recruitment will be exhibiting. Commenting on the status of industry employment, Jason Sultana says: “We all saw our fair share of upheaval and change during 2020. The employment market in the automotive, plant and heavy machinery sector was not immune to the fallout from COVID-19.
“There was a definite dip in recruiting activity during the March-June 2020 period, though from June onwards, vacancies rose again and our phones were running hot.
“The competition for quality staff was extremely high, with companies going above and beyond to hang onto their employees. We found many employees were counter offered and elected to stay put during the uncertainty of lockdowns, hotspots and the changes to the JobKeeper program.
“We have also seen renewed interest from numerous customers regarding looking to employ overseas candidates due to the continued lack of local supply of qualified blue-collar employees.
“2021 has certainly started on a more positive note. Candidates seem far less nervous and more willing to consider new opportunities, opening up the market even further as we move into the rebuilding stage post-COVID.”
Long-time Diesel Dirt & Turf sponsor Hydraulic Steels started in 2012. Managing director Stephen Holt says: “Our business is geared towards the multitude of engineering workshops supplying hydraulic repair and manufacturing services to the hydraulics industry.
“Because repair businesses operate under high pressures – speed is everything. Repairs are needed as quickly as possible. This is where Hydraulic Steels Australia has the edge over many larger businesses, because we only handle hydraulic steels and our specialisation enables us to provide the industry’s fastest service through significant investment in stock, equipment and systems.”
Entry to the 2021 National Diesel Dirt & Turf Expo is free and there is this plenty of free parking. Visit www.dieseldirtandTurfExpo.com.au to register for your free entry ticket.
BRISBANE TRUCK SHOW – THE EVENT EXTRAVAGANZA
As well as the multiple sights and sounds on show in Brisbane, there’s an Ultimate VIP Experience Package up for grabs
Don’t think for a moment that anything is being taken for granted with preparations for the 2021 Brisbane Truck Show. No stone is being left unturned to ensure that visitors to the Sunshine State have a healthy and safe experience.
But if there’s anywhere you would want to be when events kick back into life, it is in Brisbane.
Presumably, you already know what the truck show is all about. Even if you have never been before, no doubt your mates have simply said: “Everyone’s going to be there and it’s the only way to see all the latest gear in one place.” Something like that.
Then, you might have joined us for the last show as we spread our wings across into the parklands for what is now known as the South Bank Truck Festival. The truck and trailer display, in among all the restaurant and bars, made for an exceptional atmosphere. This year everything is going up 10 notches with more live, free entertainment and more vehicles.
You have probably already heard that heavy equipment and machinery are back. The Civil Construction Field Days are just a free shuttle away, just down the river at Hamilton Northshore.
Hopefully, you realise that your ticket into the truck show will also get you into the field days, and vice versa? Two days and nights of entertainment on one incrediblypriced ticket. That is just for starters.
Did you also know that the NRL Magic Round is on in Brisbane the same weekend? That is every game for the whole round spread across the weekend, with a couple of insane double-headers thrown in.
It does not end there. Do you like the ponies?
The TAB Doomben 10,000 is being run on Saturday, May 15 – and that’s barely a hop, skip and jump from the CCFD heavy equipment and machinery show.
So, when your mates ask if you are going to meet up in Brisbane this May, you would need an unimaginably good excuse to say no. Right?
Ultimate VIP Experience Package
Our major promotion partners Morris Finance have put together the most amazing package of prizes for one lucky attendee to the 2021 Brisbane Truck Show.
Morris Finance are well known around major sporting event circles, so when they get their inner circle together to achieve something, it’s always going to have great results.
We have called it the ‘Ultimate VIP Experience Package’. Take a look at the prizes and you’ll understand why.
The package is worth well over $45,000 but some of the prizes are so unique – how do you even put a value on them?
Start with four tickets to the Bathurst 1000 in the Walkinshaw Andretti United (WAU) corporate suite.
Morris Finance and WAU haven’t stopped there – you will also be taking a factory tour and how about four hot laps at Queensland Raceway?
You like the adrenaline? Alright then, another two hot laps with Motorsport Australia.
You’ll also be able to take mates to enjoy Geelong Cats’ home game in an open-air corporate box for six people.
While you are there you will be treated to the inner sanctum experience overlooking the Cats’ warm-up area, where you will be immersed in the action and feel the intensity, as the players go about their pre-game rituals.
This exclusive experience also includes a premium food and beverage package, and all being well, the boys will be singing their victory song down below in the Geelong Cats’ rooms after the game.
But you need some stuff for home too, right?
How about a custom simulator valued at over $19,000. It’s the ultimate home racer’s rig.
Watch your race unfold on your new large screen HD TV thanks to Fleet Mark; kit out your garage with a voucher from SP Tools, knowing there’s always a cold one ready in your bar fridge (from Bar Fridges Australia, of course).
Walkinshaw Sports is throwing in a golf buggy, you get a fire pit from Express Engineering, a dart board from AVBS, and more.
And when you invite your mates over to talk about how good this all is, you will be standing around your new BBQ, thanks to Semi Trailer Sales.
For a chance to win the Ultimate VIP Experience Package, all you have to do is purchase or register your ticket online to go into the draw, for your chance to win the whole lot.
For tickets and all the details head to the website at www.brisbanetruckshow.com.au
Please note: travel and accommodation is not included.
Above: The Brisbane Truck Show will again expand into the atmospheric South Bank Parklands
