DEALING WITH THE ROOT CAUSES OF MARRIAGE FAILURES If you look the world over, you will observe some notable men and women whose marriages had failed. Late Mandela, despite been one of the best known leader in Africa, had a failed marriage. What of the marriage of Prince Charles and Princes Diana, their marriage had been history. In the news few months ago, www.dailymail.co.uk, a popular newspaper in Britain carried the news that the Russian President Vladimir Putin had confirms divorce from his wife of 30 years by removing all mention of her on his official website http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article2595251/Vladimir-Putin-confirms-divorce-wife-30-years-removing-mentionofficial-website.html#ixzz3Fryi7sl7 Also few months ago, it went wild in the internet and newsprints that a popular Preacher from Nigeria, Pastor Chris to be precise had a marriage failure as his wife is seeking for divorce. Yes, all these marriage failures cuts across every sphere of our society as both popular and unpopular, rich/wealthy and poor, in fact there are many high fliers in our society whose marriages are failure. This goes to confirm what I have been saying that you can be very successful in your career or live endeavors but awful failure in your marriage. This write ups is to join the warnings in the BIBLE in 1st Corinthian 10 verse 12 to warn that you should be careful about your own marriage because what happened to some couples that resulted in their experiencing marriage failure could happen to you, “Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall”. In other words, if all these people mentioned could have marriage failures, don’t think that you are totally immune from marriage failure. This calls for caution with the way you handle and run your marriage. So learn from those who had failed marriages. For instance, some years ago, if VladimirPutin was told that his marriage would fail, he would instruct his security
men to lock you that you are in sane. Yet his marriage failure has been confirmed. As marriage failures are so rampart in our society today, you should therefore take heed and be cautious about your own marriage least what happened to them could happen to you as well.
To this end, couples should be very careful and ensure that they don’t take each other for granted. Those who took their spouse for granted do anything with recklessly abandon not minding the feelings of their spouse. They are those that can get involved easily in infidelity, and of a truth, infidelity is more often than not the number one cause of marriage failures. Secondly, couples should ensure that they don’t allow any crack in their marriages and if there are noticeable cracks, try to fix it immediately and avoid allowing it to linger. By crack I mean misunderstandings and little quarrels. Many cite reasons for their divorce as “irreconcilable differences”. Of a truth, irreconcilable differences are little misunderstanding that are allowed to linger there by accumulating until it gets out of hand and become irreconcilable. Couples should ensure that immediately they notice any misunderstanding, they should make efforts to resolve the misunderstandings and conflicts. Thirdly, love is the bed rock that sustains any marriage, therefore, couples should ensure that they never allow love for each other get soured. Of a truth, I have never seen couples who have deep love for each other whose marriage will end in divorce. It is only when love for each other get soured that those other negative things begin to follow such as divorce. Fourthly, practice forgiveness. I have never seen the marriages of couples who find it difficult to forgive each other that will ever be a success. In fact, I and my wife we practice what Bishop Oyedepo David of Winners Chapel International call advance forgiveness. That is forgiving your spouse even before an offense was committed.
To ensure that you don’t harbor offence, ensure you don’t keep diary of offence done to you by your spouse. I once intervened in crises of a couple and the wife of the man took up to five minutes recounting all the bad things her husband had been doing to her, and the man himself took more than three minutes to recount the bad things the wife had done to him. At the end of listening, I demanded to see the dairies where they had recorded these offences and I found out that none had physical diary but all the recordings were in their brain. After all said and done, I told them that their problem was un-forgiveness and keeping malice against each other. Once they stopped keeping records of offence against each other as well as started forgiveness, love for each other started to improve and with the improvement of love for each other, the crises in their marriages totally disappeared. Finally, make a vow never to allow another man or woman to snatch your wife or husband. This is another real life story, I once asked a man about his wife and in his reply informed me that she is no longer interested in marrying him as she had found a new lover. I bluntly told the man that he is a fool to allow such a thing to happen. I told him that I know the wife, that she is a good wife and that is what another man saw in her that he is trying to snatch her from him. By that statement I made, the eye of the man got opened that he vowed that nothing would make another man succeeded in snatching his wife from him. I helped to broker peace between the man and the wife in that the marriage that had almost collapsed bounced back to life. According to the man, he fought to reclaim his wife back and the two are today enjoying the best of marriage. So never allow another man or woman to snatch your wife or husband. In conclusion, be concerned about the high rate of marriage failures. To this end, share this post with friends and families. Information gotten here could help savage a marriage