How Relationships Grow

Think for a minute about the close relationships in your life – maybe a best friend or a spouse.

When you first met that person, you probably weren’t best friends from the get-go. It takes time and effort to get to know someone and develop a lasting relationship.

On top of that, we do it without thinking about it. It happens very naturally. We simply hang out with people we like. The more we like them, the more time we want to spend with them. And the relationship grows.

So, if we break it down into steps, relationship building looks like this:

First meeting. We meet someone, and we feel some spark, either friendship or something more.

Attraction. There’s something magnetic about that person that we’re drawn to and we want to spend more time with them.

Exploration. We start looking for common interests and subsequently start to spend more time together.

Connection. Commonalities lead to connection and we start to feel close to the other person. They get us and we get them. Spending time together feels safe and fun.

Deepening. The more we learn about them, the more we like them. And we realize we care about them.

Commitment. At some point, we become committed to the person and the relationship. We value it and it brings us joy, and we’re willing to do what it takes to make the other person happy.

I think that pretty much sums up what happened when I met my husband, and I would bet it is similar for lots of people, maybe even you.

Now, get this: it isn’t that different with donor relationships. You’re just building the relationship on purpose instead of letting it grow organically, and you have a clear destination for the relationship: fulfilling your nonprofit’s mission.

The good news here is that you know more about growing relationships than you thought you did. Isn’t that a relief?