In Like Manner…the Women E li z a b eth D . R ios
The Single Pursuit
pendent organization, its foundation is one based on the gospel and its model could easily be replicated by any church. What do the Scriptures say about one-parent families? There’s not a lot of Thirty percent of US families are head- room for debate or confusion! “You shall ed by single parents — over 12 million of not afflict any widow or fatherless child. them moms and nearly 4 million dads. If you afflict them in any way and they But because 95 percent of single-parent cry at all to me, I will surely hear their cry families do not attend church regularly, and my wrath will become hot,” says these people represent a huge untapped the Lord in Exodus 22:22-24 (see also Deuteronomy 14:28-29, Psalm 68:5, mission field for the church. That’s why I was so excited to meet Psalm 82:3, and Psalm 146:9). Although Tonya Hilson. Raised by a single mom some may think that helping a “widow” and herself a single mom, Hilson knows is not the same as helping a single parall too well the struggle, feelings of inad- ent, the Greek word chera used in this equacy, and isolation that single parents context is interpreted as a deficiency, a experience. Determined to do something woman lacking a husband in one way about it, she launched Hagar’s Resource or another. Center in Memphis,Tenn., in 2001, with a vision to “help and encourage single The church must recognize mothers to live a better life.” and address the needs of According to Hilson, single parents single parents, and I don’t share a wide range of needs, from finding affordable and safe housing to obtaining mean just mentioning them quality childcare; they need help mainin a sermon on how their taining their property and car, budgeting children are doomed! and managing their money, continuing their education or getting job training, As a pastor I know that many churches, accessing medical care and food and clothing as well as spiritual and emotional due to limited volunteers and resources, support, and finding time to take care of cater to the majority groups in their conthemselves. Hagar’s assists single parents gregations, which often leaves single parents with most of these needs, serving between feeling left out. But even small and simple acts can make a big difference. Consider 25 and 35 families in any given month. The demands and experiences com- the following practical ideas: mon to single parents can create a state of chronic stress, so an ongoing holistic care • Call and include. If a church activity is appropriate for single parents, take a plan is essential to making a difference. minute to call and invite them, so that The body of Christ is well situated to they know they are welcome. Offer come alongside single parents, welcoming them a ride to and from the activity. and supporting them in a significant way that supplements help provided by governmental institutions. The church must • Offer to take their kids out for a day or even a few hours. While single parents love recognize and address their issues, and I their kids as much as any parent, time don’t mean just mentioning them in a alone is precious and can feel like gold. sermon that focuses on how their children are doomed! Although Hagar’s Resource Center is not affiliated with any church • Put out the welcome mat officially. Let your community and church know you value or denomination but operates as an indePRISM 2009
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these folks and their kids. Speak to them directly from the pulpit. Mention them in your flyers and ads. •P ay for something. Money is tight for single parents. Offer to pay a utility bill or buy new shoes for the kids. Invite them out — even if you just go out for a burger or ice cream cones, it will make their day! Or drop off a bag of groceries, making sure it includes some of the items that people on a very tight budget might be tempted to skimp on — fresh fruit, quality soap, healthy snacks. •O ffer to do a maintenance check or service. Check the oil in their car or mow their lawn. Little but important things like these, which tend to get neglected when people have too much on their plate, can take a big load off their minds. •H ave at least one class and one fellowship event per month for the single parents. Remember that having a singles ministry is not the same as having a singleparents’ fellowship. Single parents have a different focus and set of needs.You’ll be surprised how much a hamburger cookout will uplift their spirits. We may not all be able to begin fullfledged programs or organizations, but we can all do something to make single parents feel loved and welcomed. At the very least we can pray for and support people like Tonya Hilson, whose single pursuit is to bless single parents and expose this mission field to Christ. n To learn more about Hagar’s Resource Center visit HagarsResourceCenter.org. Rev. Dr. Liz Rios (lizrios.com) is a wife, mother, teacher, pastor (SavetheNations.com), author, and consultant. As founder of the Center for Emerging Female Leadership (ceflonline.com), she empowers, encourages, and educates women who impact home, church, and society.