REFLECTIONS FROM THE EDITOR KRISTYN KOMARNICKI
Recognizing the Enemy
our house as “completely unreasonable parents,” we have not allowed them to purchase any game stations. However, when the boys are at friends’ houses, they have access to games like Call of Duty, Company of Heroes, and Halo. We’ve had long discussions about how I As the mother of three sons — currently feel about these games.They’ve endured 8, 13, and 16—I am by definition an my harebrained ideas about how, if they expert on the violence that resides in the really want to kill something, they should heart of man (and mom). My boys came find a game that kills something deathinto this world with all engines firing. worthy. Why don’t they make a game From the time they could aim a celery where the player takes on the role of a stick or a shoehorn, they were shooting doctor who annihilates cancer cells? — making skilled explosion noises on par Why not simulate a high-tech burglar with the sound effects specialists on live who empties the coffers of human trafradio. My husband and I provided no fickers and pornographers? The eye-rollguns as toys, and we didn’t have a televi- ing that results from my brilliant brainsion until well after the birth of our second storming is, as my kids would say, epic. “I’m a boy,” my 16-year-old explains, child, so while “nurture” of guns was nonexistent, “nature” was undeniably hard fully expecting me to be swayed by his impeccable logic. It’s not an easy conat work. Their bodies, energy, and imagination versation. I’m thoroughly convinced vioare proficient tools of war (they are also lent games are bad for him, and he’s just the stuff of love, but that’s another article). as convinced they are harmless fun. As the only X chromosome holder in Our last bout ended with this compromy house, I have had to get used to the mise: For every hour he spends playing constant tussle and collision that consti- a war game on his friend’s computer he tutes the majority of their interactions. will volunteer an hour at the local vetI’m in awe of women who raise their erans’ hospital — reading to, visiting with, sons alone, for without the reassurance and feeding patients. At least someone from my husband that all this is “normal” benefits this way, and my son will get to I am sure each of my kids would have see the long-term effects of war and not developed an inferiority complex caused just the adrenaline-surging, short-term by the expression that appears on my face effects. Rather than forbid it outright, I much prefer he come to his own conclueach time they brawl. Sometimes I want to whack them sions, the only kind that lasts over time. This issue of PRISM explores the for hitting each other. I want to shake the living daylights out of them for shaking human affection for war-making. The the living daylights out of each other. situation is complex, and we don’t offer Their predilection for physicality in all any facile answers, but we do try to ask things, their penchant for domination questions that will challenge our own gets my blood boiling, and my gut hearts and minds, even those of pasreaction is to try to threaten them into sionate peacemakers. It is one thing to be against violence, submission with — if not my muscles —my big bag of parental consequences. but what do we propose in its place? Do we simply criticize those who think It’s a losing battle. Their delight in dominating extends, gun rights or war is the answer, or do of course, to their taste in video games. we work vigorously to build peace into Being what is commonly referred to in the daily life of our families, churches, PRISM 2009
2
and neighborhoods? It has become clear to me that attacking my boys’ entertainment preferences is much less effective than modeling the peace I want them to pursue. When I have a disagreement with my husband, do they see me resort to tactical maneuvers to get my own way, or do they see me relentlessly engage in honest communication, active listening, and a willingness to understand his point of view? When I lose my temper and talk to them in a demeaning way, do I repent and ask their forgiveness? Often things that seem disconnected are, in fact, intimately linked. It has always fascinated me that the best weapon against infant mortality is maternal literacy: Teach a woman to read and fewer babies die. The same is true of peace-building: Offer education, hope, and mentoring, and fewer young people will die on battlefields both domestic and foreign. Although I rarely think of it this way, the volunteer work I do with the kids in my urban neighborhood — taking them to university campuses, welcoming them into our home for honest discussions about life, helping them with their writing skills — does more to build peace and offer hope than marching in an antiwar demonstration. I don’t want to raise milquetoasts. On the contrary, I want to raise warriors, but warriors who know how to recognize the real enemy — oppression, group think, self-deception, the darkness in their own hearts. Thanks be to God, who provides all the weaponry we need for the battle. “Be prepared. You’re up against far more than you can handle on your own.Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it’s all over but the shouting you’ll still be on your feet.Truth, righteousness, peace, faith, and salvation are more than words. Learn how to apply them. You’ll need them throughout your life. God’s Word is an indispensable weapon. In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare” (Eph. 6:13-18, The Message). n