January/February 2023 PS Magazine

Old Keys Will Never Open New Doors

By Heidi Thibert (MC, MFS, MM, CF)

It’s a new year and time for a fresh start. Maybe this is the time to ask yourself what you need to do to refresh or jumpstart your coaching career. It’s a time to make decisions about what is working for you, what isn’t working, what needs to change, and what needs to be let go of. Maybe it’s time to change rinks, or maybe it’s time to let go of a teaching partnership where the balance of work is heavier on your side than you feel good about. Maybe it’s just time to move forward.

There’s an old saying that goes: to get a door to open, first you have to knock. In the business world, networking is often described as one of the most important parts of career progression in any field. Coaching is a business, and so the same principle applies. What’s different, however, is that our career is far more decentralized than other fields. That is, most of us only see the colleagues in our own rinks on a regular basis; it might only be a few times each year when we see other coaches from other parts of the country when we travel to a competition or test session.

So, how do we network effectively? When researching this topic, I ran across work done by Rebecca Leder, a senior manager at Salesforce who authored a book on cultivating professional relationships. Leder has spent more than twelve years refining a five-step strategy for building high-quality professional relationships that she calls the “knock method.” The idea is that when we “knock” thoughtfully and intentionally on others’ doors—that is, when we prepare to connect with other individuals in our career field—opportunities happen for all of us.

The book cites research that says high-quality, mutually beneficial, and long-lasting relationships— even in our careers—are good for our mental and physical health. These relationships don’t always have to be transactional and don’t just lead to jobs, but greatly contribute to enhanced productivity, amplify impact, and create positive change in our teams, organizations, and surrounding communities.

Ah ha! I thought. That means that the many weekends spent at competitions and test sessions with other figure skating coaches are actually good for our coaching self-care! But as I reflected further, I thought about how these competitions and test events can be stressful environments.

There are so many other opportunities for us to network that aren’t as stressful, but are actually enjoyable, fun, and exciting.

In our coaching world, there are coaching educational events such as PSA Summit, seminars, or virtually at webinars, Ratings Prep, Foundations of Coaching Course (FCC), or Ratings Study Groups. These are learning opportunities where we don’t have to have all the answers like we do in our lessons. We can ask questions of our peers and discuss ideas for methodology and technique. We can communicate, collaborate, and cooperate. We can create a community of coaching practice and we can create a network of people to learn from and rely on. These coaching friends can help us out of a rut, can advise us in a difficult situation with a parent, athlete, or coworker, and can support us when we need it. These are opportunities where we can network !

Those of you who know me well are well aware that I love a good acronym, so when I saw that Leder’s five-step methodology spelled the word “knock,” the content spoke to me even louder. Here are her five points:

• K - Know my topic, my contact, and specifics up front. Research and prepare to connect.

• N - Not about me. Be other-centered and focus on what we can do together to create an impact.

• O - Own it. Bring authenticity to relationships and invest in relationships and opportunities up front.

• C - Commonality. Bringing shared interests and backgrounds to the forefront builds trust and opens the door.

• K - Keep giving. Practice generosity and gratitude and help others, even as you develop your own career.

From here I thought, what kind of practical application could be made for the world of figure skating coaching? Here’s what I came up with:

• K - Know your sport’s history, progression, evolution of technique, and rules. Look ahead by studying current and future trends.

• N - Not about you. Remember to focus on what you can bring to your team to create a positive environment and have a positive impact on outcomes.

• O - Own the risk and work it takes to be genuine in the coaching relationship. Invest in the trust a coaching team must have to be successful.

• C - (Find the) Common ground of training and competitive backgrounds and experiences to build a coaching team upon.

• K - Keep giving to the coaching team and athletes by practicing the generosity that grows from gratitude.

Leder explains what she means by “othercenteredness.” Other-centeredness is about shifting focus off of yourself and onto others using an outward-focused lens.

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Practicing Other-Centeredness

Leder explains that when connecting with someone in your career, there are two ways of approaching the situation.

You could say something like: “I’m interested in working for your company because I like finance and I noticed an open position.”

Instead, approaching it from the other-centeredness perspective, you might consider saying: “As a leader in the fintech industry, I noticed your company not only values profitability and innovation, but also the wellbeing of your employees, as evident by your recent article in [X publication] on the recent change to your paid time off policy. Well-being is one of my values too, and I’m looking to bring my three years of experience to your company because I’m great at balancing aggressive deadlines while maintaining a healthy lifestyle.”

She goes on to point out that by using this method, you have now shifted focus to the company and its goals and values. It shows that you are invested in the relationship, that you have done your research, and that you can help them achieve their goals and are aligned with their values. Simply put, it’s more about them than it is you.

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Applying this concept to the skating world, if a coach were looking to join forces with another coach or become part of an established coaching team, one might say:

“As a successful coach or coaching team, I’ve noticed you not only value outcomes and results, but also the well-being of your athletes. I’ve watched how you speak to them when things are going well and also when things are not going well. The best interests of the athlete and their well-being are important to me, and I’m looking to join a coaching team that aligns with those values.”

This statement acknowledges and respects their coaching philosophy and communicates that you’d like to contribute to the success of the athletes and the coaching team.

In our ever-changing world of figure skating, it’s abundantly clear that no one person can do it all and do it all well. But by creating something together—an experience for both the coach and athlete—it becomes more than just an exchange of knowledge and time. Networking encompasses so much more than just slipping someone a business card or sending a hopeful text for a future weekend seminar with a few private lessons attached; it means finding out where they are struggling, what problems they’re currently trying to solve, and uncovering ways you can help.

It’s like the social media mantra: “If you want different, you have to move different.” Instead of exchanges that feel transactional and flat, work to create an experience together that comes with enthusiasm, camaraderie, curiosity, and a love for the coaching of our sport that leads to future opportunities for the coaching team through the success of the athletes under their tutelage.

The takeaway from this article is that each of us belongs to a unique professional coaching community that spans time and distance, one that is connected by cold ice and flashing steel. Each of us can use educational events as opportunities to network and connect with those who truly understand our skating careers in a way that those outside our world aren’t always able to. Maybe it won’t be a connection to find a coaching team or a new rink to coach at, but it might be a “squad” to study for a rating exam, or someone you can send a skater to for help or for lessons while their family travels nearby. You never know what that relationship might lead to in the future.

Knock, and you might be surprised what’s on the other side of the door.

Leder, Rebecca Otis. Knock: How to Open Doors and Build Career Relationships That Matter. First Edition. New York, New York: An Inc. Original, 2021. For more information, visit https://buildmeaningfulcareers.com/knock-book/

Heidi Thibert is the PSA Senior Director of Coaching Development and staff liaison to U.S. Figure Skating.