Parent Engagement with Scott Riewald

BY TERRI MILNER TARQUINI

It’s no secret that when a coach, athlete and parents have a symbiotic relationship, great things can happen.

The challenge is in striking that peaceful and supportive balance.

“It’s a three-way relationship,” said Scott Riewald, senior director of high performance for the USOC, “and all three of those pieces have to work together.”

Currently, it’s a closeness that parents are even more insistent on.

“In the current sports landscape, parents have more of a desire than ever to know what’s going on with their child’s development; the ‘holding them at arm’s length’ philosophy isn’t going to cut it,” Riewald said. “Parents want to know more, not less—and that is not an unrealistic expectation.”

It can be a concept that sometimes strikes loathing in the hearts of coaches.

“Yes, some parents can be difficult and challenging, but, at the end of the day, parents want to help—they just don’t know how to contribute,” Riewald said. “The person who has the most information and knowledge about what is trying to be accomplished and how to get there is the coach. That means you have a unique opportunity to invest some time to build a parent’s understanding and set a foundation that can be productive as the relationship moves forward.”

Riewald presented to coaches with regards to performance management and parent engagement at the PSA conference in May.

1. Have a Coaching Philosophy—and be able to articulate it

“What am I doing and why am I doing it?” Riewald said. “This philosophy serves as the foundation of your program. These are the non-negotiables that your program and coaching approach are based on. Being able to articulate what the cornerstones of your coaching are—and, by extension, what their child will experience—will help parents to understand the how’s and why’s.”

These expectations travel on a two-way street, however.

“It goes a long way with a parent if you lay out your accountability, too—those things they can count on you to deliver,” Riewald said. “You are not above reproach and it speaks to parents when they don’t feel like it’s just ‘my way or the highway.’ It reinforces you have some skin in the game if your approach discusses what you will hold them accountable for, as well as what they can expect from you.”

2. Establish Communication with Parents—and continue to touch base

“In the absence of information, people will fill in the blanks with what they believe to be true—don’t allow that to happen,” Riewald said. “In the initial sit-down, talk about your philosophy and discuss the upcoming season and lay out the goals. Be clear about what your expectations are for tests and competitions and how you evaluate performance and progress and why you take the approach you do. It shows that you have thought out the next year and are not just shooting from the hip.”

It also provides reasons as to how you are approaching things vs. how another coach might be.

“There’s a much bigger push now, in all sports, to develop long-term athletes,” Riewald said.

“Sometimes a focus on long-term athlete development means sacrificing showy, short-term gain for the greater long-haul good. You might get a parent who is saying that their child isn’t progressing as quickly as an athlete who has a different coach. Having your points clearly thought out and being able to go back and reference how this aligns with your coaching philosophy can help.”

After the initial sit-down, periodically meeting with parents to revisit objectives, progress and specifics about how their son or daughter is developing can keep everyone on the same page.

“It doesn’t have to take hours of time, but quick touchpoints throughout the season to reassess and providing time for parents to ask questions can diffuse potential problems,” Riewald said.

“If you can communicate the larger plan, it gives everyone a better idea of the road map.”

3. Having Information at the Ready—educating yourself as well as parents

“It is so important for a coach to be armed with information – things that they have learned and are also able to share to further a parent’s knowledge,” Riewald said. “As a coach, you can explain it to them, but, often, having information that comes from someone else, such as an outside expert, can be valuable.”

Presenting information with the goal of coming to a common understanding can expand a parent’s understanding of why you are doing something the way you are and how they can fit into that more smoothly.

“A coach can point to a specific article or piece of information and say, ‘This is what helped shape my philosophy,’” Riewald said. “That way, the parent can read the chapter or website and possibly see a different way to approach things. It’s important after you have passed on the information, however, to set up a time to talk about it and come to a common place. Also, be open to reading something they might have for you. Information can come from a lot of angles.”

4. Respect and Engagement—find ways in which the parents can engage with your program

“If a parent wants to be involved with their child’s sport, maybe there is a way they can be of use at the facility, within the program or to you personally,” Riewald said. “For example, if you have a parent who is in the stands all of the time watching practice, maybe they could do video for you to use with your students.”

Most well-intentioned parents just want to feel like they are being helpful in their own right.

“It’s certainly not going to remedy every situation, but sometimes, if you can stand back and look at things from a little different perspective, you might find an opportunity where they can help and they will feel useful,” he said “That can be a win-win.”

Ultimately, coaches and parents usually want the same things for the athlete: goal achievement and positive growth lessons, both on and off the ice. And, interestingly, if successfully executed, a coach’s role and a parent’s role both evolve in similar ways.

“I always say, ‘A good coach ultimately works herself or himself out of a job by empowering the athletes to take more control of their training and time in figure skating,’” Riewald said. “Now, in reality, that is not entirely true, as a coach always has a job, but the point is, over time, that job changes – the same as it does for parents.”

There are a number of models one could use to discuss talent development, but one cited by Riewald, Bloom’s model, is a three-stage diagram that describes the foremost characteristics of athletes, coaches and parents during the talent development process and how those roles morph through the years.

“A coach starts out constantly monitoring and being very responsible for all of the athlete’s skills, but part of them growing up is becoming more accountable for their own development,” Riewald said. “The same goes for parents: They started in a place that was very hands-on with their children and they were a critical part of that development, but eventually that development helps them be able to take the reins more and more. That is all healthy evolution.”

Parents are a key part of the athlete-development puzzle and the true takeaway of Riewald’s message comes down to one central point that can cover a lot of ground: regular and open communication.

“Coaches can run into problems when they aren’t able or willing to talk,” he said. “Get your philosophy clear, be able to discuss it and answer questions and be able to reference outside sources when needed. It’s always better to not get behind the eight-ball; communication can help you stay in front of it.”