November 18, 2021
In Between
DAYS Tips to Beat those Standard-Time Sads
Big, Burly, Beefy Boys Bid Happy 12th to Bearracuda Back in Time with Amazing Advice For Our Past Selves Daddy Disco, Black Legends & Atlanta’s Best LGBTQ Events
Dark THIRTY
IF SHORTER DAYS and colder nights leave you empty, you’re not
alone. Luckily, filling time and hearts is rarely a problem in LGBTQ Atlanta. This issue of Q ATLus lifts spirits and lowers the boom on seasonal sadness.
First, take your own advice in 10 Q Things. We collected readers’ thoughts on what they’d say to their younger selves. And in the
Q Cover story, we nip depression in the bud with some practical tips for Standard Time Doldrums and the in-between days of November.
What else is up? Plenty. Atlanta Pride won’t let its 2021 parade grand marshals suffer from its cancellations. Meet them in Q Community. In Q Nightlife, Bearracuda celebrates its 12-year partnership with Atlanta’s bears and bear lovers.
Q Events gives you plenty to do, and Q Shots sneaks a peek at a
new party in town. We wrap with Q Advice, and when you’re done, we invite you to take in new content each day at theQatl.com.
MIKE FLEMING EDITOR & PUBLISHER MIKE@THEQATL.COM GRAPHIC DESIGN DECATUR ATLANTA PRINTING JOHN NAIL, DESIGNER DECATURATLANTAPRINTING.COM
LOCAL ADVERTISING INFO@PROJECTQATLANTA.COM RIVENDELL MEDIA NATIONAL ADVERTISING SALES@RIVENDELLMEDIA.COM 212-242-6863 theQatl.com 5
INSIDE THIS ISSUE
V O LU M E 4 I S S U E 4 9 N OV E M B E R 1 8 , 2 0 2 1
ASK YOURSELF
Advice for Our Past Selves
COVER
14
8
So Blue
Relieving Standard-Time Sad
11
19
COMMUNITY
MILESTONES
Atlanta Pride’s 2021 Grand Marshals
Bearracuda Atlanta’s 12th Anniversary
Pack Leaders
10 Q Things.....................8
Big Hairy Deal
Q ADVICE
Q Nightlife.....................19
Deep Destroyers
Q Shots..........................24
Your Pesky Fear, Loathing & Paranoia
Q Advice........................29
29
Q Community................11 Q Events........................23 Q Map............................26
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30 years
DID YO U KNOW ?
PIHC conducts 13,000+ behavorial health visits each year.
Make a gift to honor PIHC’s 30 years! • Snap this code with your phone • Text PIHC30TH to 44321 • Or donate at: PositiveImpactHealthCenters.org
Q
Younger SELF 10 THINGS
10 lessons real readers would impart on their past selves
Money MATTERS
It’s not the most important thing, but becoming financially literate makes some things easier.
As IS
You are already as you were created to be, and it’s fabulous.
No SHIT Don’t take it from anyone.
Fear NOT
Be bold and brave, and don’t let fear keep you from your dreams.
COMMUNICATE
Don’t assume other people know what you’re thinking, or vice versa.
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Surround YOURSELF
With fierce, positive, driven people.
Be KIND
To yourself and others
Have DISCIPLINE Don’t wait until you feel like it. Do what you need to do when you need to do it. It’s freeing.
Forget LABELS Love, Trust & Believe IN YOURSELF Care less what other people think, and know your own timeline. You are stronger than you think.
If one fits, wear it. If none do, create your own. The right people will respect it.
Our favorite “regrets” responses: “Don’t eat sushi in the Bahamas.” “People are great, but you don’t have to marry them.” “Trust No Man!” and “Don’t stick that in there!” theQatl.com 9
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COMMUNITY
UP Front
Q
Atlanta Pride Grand Marshals for 2021 include individual honorees Gabrielle Claiborne, Gerald Bostock, Renee Montgomery.
Atlanta Pride names, celebrates 2021 grand marshals By Mike Fleming THE ATLANTA PARADE WAS CANCELED amid community and covid concerns, but the grand marshals list was all ready to go. The Atlanta Pride Committee decided to honor those people next year and give them a public nod now. “These individuals and organizations were nominated by Atlanta’s LGBTQ community and chosen by our members, said APC Director Jamie Fergerson in a prepared statement. “The work they do is vital to our community, and they deserve to be recognized. ” On Nov. 9, the committee announced seven 2021 grand marshals, as well as plans to include them in the 2022 parade. The announcement also promised to throw a grand marshal reception sometime in the forthcoming winter. Individuals with the nod include Gerald Bostock, who was fired for being gay and vindicated by the U.S. Supreme Court; transgender and non-binary
equity advocate and inclusion trainer Gabrielle Claiborne; and Emory attending physician and HIV researcher Dr. Valiera Cantos, who focuses on culturally appropriate outreach to Latinx communities. Pride’s individual grand marshal honorees also include WNBA alum and ESPN commentator Renee Montgomery; and Rhea Wunsch, a GSU sophomore and community organizer. Organizations on the list this year are Atlanta’s all-LGBTQ theatrical troupe Out Front Theatre Company (currently staging Xanadu) and the Policing Alternatives & Diversion (PAD) Initiative, which is led by queer and trans people of color. Here are some abbreviated bios for the honorees. Read the full versions at theQatl.com.
Gerald Bostock An advocate for child victims for more than 10 years in Clayton County, Bostock joined a local gay team of Hotlanta Softball League in his free time. Within 6 months, he was fired. Stated reason for termination: conduct unbecoming a Clayton County Employee. Years of rulings, decisions and appeals led his case to the Supreme Court of the United States, where LGBTQ employment Antonio Brown rights were affirmed in his and adjoining cases. theQatl.com 11
GRAND MARSHALS continued Dr. Valeria Cantos From Quito, Ecuador, Cantos completed her medical school in Ecuador, then she moved to Atlanta for her Internal Medicine residency and Infectious Diseases Fellowship at Emory University. She is an Assistant Professor at the Division of Infectious Diseases at Emory University, and an attending physician at Grady Memorial Hospital, Emory University Hospital, and the Grady Infectious Disease Clinic (IDP). Her research focuses on HIV prevention in ethnic minorities, with a special focus on the Latinx community.
Gabrielle Claiborne
Renee Montgomery Montgomery is a West Virginia native boasting three Girls State Basketball Championships, a two-time NCAA Basketball All-American who played on two WNBA championship teams. She was a pro All-Star and Woman of the Year. Now retired, she serves as a sports analyst for NBA/ ESPN and hosts her own weekly podcast “Montgomery & Co.” She is part owner and vice president of the Atlanta Dream.
Valeria Cantos
Claiborne is co-founder of Transformation Journeys Worldwide, an inclusion training and consulting firm with a transgender focus. She helps cutting-edge organizations transform their environments into fully trans, gender nonconforming and non-binary inclusive cultures. Her firm was recognized as the Out Georgia Business Alliance’s (OGBA) Rhea Wunsch 2018 Small Business of the Year and received the Atlanta Hawk’s prestigious 2019 True Comes in All Colors award.
Out Front Theatre Company Out Front Theatre Company tells LGBTQ stories via the stage. Since its inception in 2016, the troupe is the only local theatre specifically and exclusively catering to queer themes.
Policing Alternatives & Diversion (PAD) Initiative PAD was born out of the work and vision of Atlantans who were directly impacted by policing and incarceration and were committed 12 theQatl.com
to a new approach to community safety and wellness. Under the leadership of queer and trans people of color, Solutions Not Punishment Collaborative (SNaPCO) was formed in 2013. In 2015, Atlanta City Council and the Fulton County Board of Commissioners unanimously agreed to authorize a Pre-Arrest Diversion Design Team. It includes representatives from local criminal justice agencies, local governments, neighborhood and faith leaders, directly impacted community members, and social services providers.
Rhea Wunsch Rhea Wunsch is a 19-year-old community organizer and activist. She is a sophomore at Georgia State University, where she studies Public Policy with minors in Women, Gender, and Sexuality Studies and Social Justice. In high school, she worked on the Stacey Abrams for Governor campaign. Since then, she has worked on several other political campaigns, organized events for social justice issues and advocated for organizations including March For Our Lives and Not My Generation. Visit atlantapride.org.
Instagram.com/theQatl
Q
COVER
November
BLUE
The inexplicable void of those Standard Time Sads By Mike Fleming
THE EXCITEMENT OF PRIDE, THE FUN OF Halloween, and the giddiness over falling leaves are over. Christmas and the other end-of-year holidays are weeks away, and the end of Daylight Savings Time is not helping. The “in between days” of November can be tough. Netflix and pornhub are endless, but their entertainment value isn’t. Plus, it’s basically too damn cold in the evenings to even hit a patio or park. You just feel blah. We’ve all been there, and there’s actually a reason for those late fall and winter doldrums. For some people, the body and mind have a tough time adjusting to earlier sets and later sunrises. Instead of enjoying the natural ebb and flow of seasons, you get the “sads.”
Literally. S.A.D. If you didn’t hear it before, let us share: SAD is an actual thing — Seasonal Affective Disorder. It affects people in winter, and it affects some big time. Beyond that, life is crazy in recent months. Maybe social media is wreaking havoc. Maybe a change would do you good. November blues? If being dulled by the daylight has turned into summer sads, try these tips that really work. 14 theQatl.com
Sleep in
Take advantage of the morning darkness and reset your schedule to accommodate it. Your mood is enhanced if you’re getting all your Z’s.
Lower Expectations Building up the season in your mind can create a disconnect when compared with reality. If you’re prepared for the worst, you can be pleasantly surprised when everything goes just fine.
Build in Relaxation Time It’s easy to feel overwhelmed when you overdo, and burnout is real. Map out some down time and give yourself something to look forward to.
Work It Out Getting the blood pumping keeps your mind sharp and lifts your spirits. One study found that simply walking 35 minutes a day, three times a week, can stave off mild to moderate depression.
Social Reality Check No, everyone on Instagram does not have a better dog, beaux or celebration schedule than you. Stop comparing your movie to their highlight reel. Pause your accounts and observe how things change.
Love That Body Tight sweaters and jeans send you running for overheated scarves and layers indoors? Stressing about your body every time you get dressed makes for a long winter. Fit or not, love your body enough to pamper and celebrate it the way it is.
Live in the Moment New Year and spring feel like beginnings, but fall flying by can feel like time is fleeting. Take your best shots of your year and put them on your wall to celebrate with a gratitude session.
S
Brighten up to Lighten Up It sounds like pop psychology, but surrounding yourself with light and color really helps you feel better. Wear bright hues. Get out, use light therapy devices (Google it), or make a point to sit by a window every day.
Get that D Your body gets most, if not all, of its Vitamin D3 from the sun, so if you’re avoiding the outdoors, you could be starving for sunlight. An astonishing 88 percent of Americans don’t get enough of D3, so consider a vitamin supplement if getting outside is not in the cards.
Crank the Tunes Create a playlist for the soundtrack of Novmeber. Hint: Not Adele. You had good intentions and you know there is hope in these waters, but that shit is depressing.
Make Plans Looking toward the future can be one of the best spirit lifters. Plan a vacation, a weekend or a night out on the town.
Take Action Busy yourself. Take a step toward a goal. Revisit a castaside dream and try again. theQatl.com 15
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NIGHTLIFE
Q
DIRTY DOZEN Bearracuda party crew celebrates 12 years in Atlanta By Mike Fleming FROM EXTENDED HOLIDAY WEEKENDS TO regularly recurring events, from ocean cruises to dance floor cruising, and from local partnerships to international DJs, Bearracuda is a gay Atlanta mainstay. The sexy party series celebrates an amazing 12 years in Atlanta this Saturday. Bearracuda as a brand hit a few Atlanta gay bars in
2009 before settling into a lucrative and loyal relationship with the Heretic. The working partnership between Bearracuda’s Matt Mikesell and Heretic’s Alan Collins also bore bear-y big fruit in the annals of local LGBTQ celebrations. “Matt and I started working together when he brought his Bearracuda party to Heretic for the first time,” said Alan Collins, general manager of Heretic. “He and I quickly formed a strong professional and personal relationship.” “At the end of 2014 when we were both crazy busy planning the first Annual Bearracuda Heretic
theQatl.com 19
BEARRACUDA continued Cruse, we started talking about doing something else together,” Collins continued. “That’s when Atlanta Bear Pride was born, and 2015 was the first year.” With Bear Pride and an annual cruise on top of regular parties, the stage was set for a slew of partnered events ever since.
UNPRECEDENTED LOYALTY
Atlanta bears already loved some Heretic, but Collins called the response to Bearracuda and Bear Pride “unprecedented.” “When we were planning, we realized that what had happened in the night life was that people did not have to go to the gay bars to meet people like themselves,” Collins said. “What we had to deal with is that everything now has to be a special event and that raises the expectations of our customers.” Big and burly, yes, but lots of local gay subsets love Bearracuda. That’s why it’s always a sure bet for Q readers who love to meet the talent and ogle the post-party photos. “People joined together to celebrate, and they loved it,” Collins continued. “Now there are a lot of people who don’t identify as a bear that are right there on the dance floor with them. It’s a beautiful thing.”
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For his part, Bearracuda’s Matt Mikesell could hang his hat anywhere. After all, the party brand is the biggest of its kind in the world, hosting gay bear events in more than 50 cities in 15 countries. For him, Heretic is hands down his favorite partnership. In. The. World. “These are the best guys I’ve worked with,” Mikesell said. “It gets bigger and better every time, and we can always expect a whole a lot of sexy men. It’s gotten to where missing it would definitely be missing out.”
THIS WEEKEND
Fresh off the success of Bear Pride in September (moved from April after pandemic-mania in 2020 and 2021), the anniversary party on Saturday feels almost like a victory lap. Still, Collins and Mikesell are not ones to pull any punches. Australian-British DJ Paul Goodyear flies his 35 years of experience into Atlanta for the festivities. Known as a House auteur, Goodyear brings the best of funk, high energy, disco and more to the tables at Heretic. His mixes include Billboard Top 10s in the U.S. for artists including Nile Rogers, Whitney Houston, Toni Braxton, Mary Wilson, Ed Sheeran and Ultra Nate, to name a few. “If the DJ sucks, we suck, and our DJs set the gold standard,” Collins said. “This will be a set for the books.” DJ Mike Pope opens, and the night includes not only hundreds of revelers but bear-tastic go-go dancers to boot. Bearracuda’s 12-year Anniversary with DJ Paul Goodyear takes place Nov. 20 at Heretic, 10 p.m. Visit hereticatlanta.com, and advance tickets are available at bearracuda.com.
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Q Events
The Best LGBTQ Things to Do in Atlanta This Week
SATURDAY, NOV. 20
THURSDAY, NOV. 18 Daydrinking Sometimes what you need is a stiff drink. Look for specials every weekday with fun entertainment each night @ Hideaway, 2 p.m. and 9 p.m. facebook.com/ atlantahideaway
Bearracuda 12th Anniversary
FRIDAY, NOV. 19
DJ Paul Goodyear and sexy dancers on pedastals
Icon: Black Legends
make a dozen years look and sound so sweet @
House of Alxndr hosts
Heretic, 10 p.m. hereticatlanta.com DE AN
a talented cast of queens
O
N
and kings channeling those who set the standard
PHOTO
J BY
for Black excellence in entertainment. Cast includes
SUNDAY, NOV. 21 Daddy Disco Fuego is back with an ode to daddies by way
Jaybella Banks (photo) @ Out Front Theatre, 8 p.m.
of a retro tea dance @
outfronttheatre.com
182 Courtland, 4 p.m. fuegoproductionsatl.com
G8yTies This party is becoming so popular. You just can’t get enough @ Heretic, 10 p.m. hereticatlanta.com Fantasy Girls Phoenix and Taejah Thomas headline two dinner-show experiences every Friday @ Future, 6:30 p.m. and 9 p.m. Headmistress Phoenix (photo)
Miss NewFace The 2021 monthly winners compete for the title and crown @ Friends, 9 p.m. friendsonponce.com
WEDNESDAY, NOV. 24 House of Gucci Gaga goes for broke with backup from Pacino, Irons, Leto and Driver @ in theaters through December. mgm.com
also serves showgirl love on Saturdays with Shawnna
Find the full weekend calendar of LGBTQ events
Brooks, same times. future-atlanta.com
each Thursday at theQatl.com theQatl.com 23
Q SHOTS
PHOTOS BY RUSS BOWEN-YOUNGBLOOD
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RANDY T DANCE AT HERETIC
Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com
on tA ve .N E dm Pi e
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11th St. NE
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10th St. NE
Amsterdam Ave.
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14th St. NE
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Q Atlus Map
10 5
Virginia Ave. NE
1 9th St. NE
227 10th St. NE 2. Bulldogs Bar 893 Peachtree St NE 3. Friends on Ponce 736 Ponce De Leon Ave NE 4. My Sister’s Room 84 12th St 5. X Midtown 990 Piedmont Ave. NE 6. Atlanta Eagle 306 Ponce De Leon Ave NE
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Bars
Restaurants North Ave. NW
North Ave. NW
Clubs Retail/Services
Not Shown
Future 50 Lower Alabama St SW, Suite 180
8. Henry’s Midtown Tavern 132 10th St NE
Mary’s 1287 Glenwood Ave SE
9. Joe’s onRalph Juniper McGill Blvd. NE 1049 Juniper St NE
Sister Louisa’s 466 Edgewood Ave SE
10. Zocalo Mexican Kitchen & Cantina 187 10th St NE Highland Ave. NE 11. Barking Leather After Dark 306 Ponce De Leon Ave NE (inside Eagle) 12. Urban Body Fitness 500 Amsterdam Ave NE
The T 465 Boulevard SE Swinging Richards 1400 Northside Dr NW Lips Drag Show Palace 3011 Buford Highway NE Lost ’n Found Youth Thift Store 2585 Chantilly Dr NE
Ponce De Leon Pl. NE
3
Key
Ponce De Leon Ave. NE
7. Flex 76 4th St NW
Ponce De Leon Pl. NE
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Charles Allen Dr. NE
11 6
St. Charles Ave.
Glen Iris Dr. NE
1. Blakes on the Park
NE
NE
Piedmont Park
Piedmont Ave.
Spring St. NW
7
2 Juniper St. NE
85
Peachtree St.
75
West Peachtree St. NE
8th St. NE
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Cheshire Bridge Road 5. The Heretic 2069 Cheshire Bridge Road NE
9. Gravity Fitness 2201 Faulkner Rd NE
2. Tripp’s Bar 1931 Piedmont Circle NE
6. Las Margaritas 1842 Cheshire Bridge Road NE
10. Southern Nights 2205 Cheshire Bridge Road NE
3. Woof’s Sports Bar 494 Plasters Ave NE
7. Roxx Tavern 1824 Cheshire Bridge Road NE
11. Tokyo Valentino (Cheshire Bridge) 1739 Cheshire Bridge Road NE
4. BJ Rooster’s 2043 Cheshire Bridge Road NE
8. 2Qute Hair Salon 1927 Cheshire Bridge Road NE
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4. Oscar’s 1510 Piedmont Ave NE
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5. Barking Leather 1510 Piedmont Ave NE 6. Boy Next Door 1447 Piedmont Ave NE
Monroe
Piedmont Park
1. Felix’s on the Square 1510 Piedmont Ave NE
3. Midtown Moon 1510 Piedmont Ave NE
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Ansley Park 2. The Hideaway 1544 Piedmont Ave NE
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1. Sequel Bar 1086 Alco St. NE
Key
Bars Restaurants Clubs Retail/Services
7. Brushstrokes 1510 Piedmont Ave NE 8. Equilibrium Fitness 1529 Piedmont Ave NE
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Q Advice Fear &
LOATHING
Q
I’m seeing a new psychotherapist to help with anxiety. I fear the worst in most situations for no reason. Still, I’m right about those fears often enough that I can’t tell the difference between my good instincts and my bad paranoia. Like that I suspect my significant other of sleeping with this new therapist. Before you write me off, let me explain. The therapist recognized me from somewhere and asked about my significant other. When I confirmed, the therapist smiled wryly and began talking about how they used to counsel my partner and helped them through some tough situations.
When I asked about it at home, my partner said nothing ever happened but that the therapy stopped because their talks became “un-professional and too informal.” I can’t shake a nagging feeling that they hooked up, and I might want a new therapist. How can I be sure? Dear Paranoid: You need a new therapist, but because of their unprofessionalism as much as your jealousy. A new counselor is in order because the one you have talks openly about past clients and someone you know already dumped them. You can communicate with your partner about it as long as you keep it productive, fair and reasonable in both tone and content. Focus on a better real goal — not to find “the truth” about their relationship but to learn more about yours. Explain that it would help ease your fears to define what happened. Explain that the therapist freaked you out and you want to understand. Rather than paranoia, you may have garden variety trust issues, and that’s where you can start when you find a new, better counselor.
Q
I’m new to Atlanta and have fallen into a group of friends who have known each other for years. A couple of them are really welcoming, and I like them a lot. The rest hate me, and I can’t figure out why. They actively ignore me, and when I chime in, they stare blankly like I farted and they’re waiting for an apology. I’m beginning to dislike them as much as they dislike me. What should I do? Dear Hate4Hate: What people do is about them and not about you. Every. Single. Time. Likewise, what you say and do is about you. You can either put in the time that they put into their group, and over the years find some footing, or you can focus the members of the group you like and develop those relationships. The harder you try, the worse it can get. People sense desperation like sharks, so don’t chum the waters. If you don’t have anything in common with some of them, and that feeling is obviously mutual, leave it alone. Be pleasant and move on. Not everyone in life is going to like everyone else, and that’s OK. The Q is for entertainment, not counseling. Send burning Qs to mike@theQatl.com. ILLUSTRATION BY BRAD GIBSON
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