3rd Street Beat
Produced by Clients of The Recovery Center 8 east 3rd Street 10003 January 2020
Eddie’s Recovery Story By E.C. Hi my name is Eddie. I started with this program a few years ago. I was just looking for help – with using drugs, managing my money, and learning to be more independent in my life. TRC has helped me learn a lot of new things – like breathing when I’m anxious, how fun it is to make things like soap or stress balls, and talk about what is going on with me in the groups. I have made a lot of friends at TRC who want the same things I do. (Continued on p. 3)
Oril Ben, the king of collages. See his art on page 8 Car! The Recovery Center is an outpatient Tur substance use clinic on the first floor of 8 East 3rd Street in Manhattan Pag 9 EVENTS AT TRC →→→ Monday, January 20, 2020 TRC will be closed for Martin Luther King’s Birthday Friday, January 31, 2020 TRC Community Meeting At 10:45 am Saturday, February 1, 2020 Black History Month begins! Monday, February 17, 2020 TRC will be closed for President’s Day
OVERDOSES ARE EVERYWHERE! Ask for naloxone training and kits, fentanyl test strips at TRC
Table of Contents:
Rap by Dorsey p. 2 b Su r! Sudoku p. 2 Art by Ben Ragland p. 3 yo g 10 Art by Edgar Pereira p. 3 Pa Best Care Anywhere by j. p. 4 Eddie’s story p. 1
Recovery Playlist p. 5 Word Search p. 5 Sketch by Brendan (original story) p. 5 Strength within a community by Black Lav p. 6 Just One! By j. (original cartoon) p. 9 TRC schedule p. 10 Sudoku solution p. 10
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The 3rd Street Beat Mission Statement The Third Street Beat is a newsletter written by and created for people with addiction. Our mission is to validate that experience so people know that they are not alone, and to emphasize the many unique roads that we take to recovery. This is an opportunity to share our experiences to creatively support each other. We are non-political, non-denominational, multi-racial, and gender neutral.Our mission is one of recovery and harm reduction, and all experiences are welcome. All the viewpoints herein are personal in nature and related specifically to our contributors’ recovery.
The 3rd Street Beat Editorial Team Johnny B., Omar Chandradatt, David Johnson, R.W.A.. The paper is produced by The Recovery Center clients with assistance from the occupational therapy team.
SUDOKU solution p. 6 The rules of the game are simple: each of the nine blocks has to contain all the numbers 1-9 within its squares. Each number can only appear once in a row, column or box.
3rd Street Beat
Sometimes the way I think is like a mad scientist so this is my venomous potion that got u open so take notice how im flowing with lil to no emotion The definition of what im spiting iz magnificent the way I understand ever thing from ny to japan and even them other lands Check it im not rapping out the mouth I could move south and be known as that kid with clout disappear like a drought and bring it back like I just came out My mind fram iz wyder than the meditterain and my brain got thoughts that’s insane
-Dorsey
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3rd Street Beat (Eddie’s Story Continued from page 1) When I first started I felt isolated and didn’t have a lot of support. Now I have a balanced lifestyle. I am taking better care of myself in a lot of ways. I really believe that it is important not to judge people. I have felt judged sometimes in my life because of what people thought when they looked me. They didn’t know that I am smart, I care about people, I love to have fun, and that I always try to do the right thing. People here have spent a lot of time talking with me to help me learn about myself – on good days and rocky days. My confidence level has gone up so much, and it has been a lot easier for me to avoid using. While the staff here has been a lot of help, a lot of the other clients have turned into friends, too. If you are struggling with using, it’s so important to find new activities to do with your time. It’s also important to really face your inner demons. I feel safe here, and it is helping me to reach towards my future. I hope that you are able to do this too.
← ← ←CERE L XEL Bla sy Moh at Fra 1s! → This meme is part of j.’s recovery story. “Without my foundation in faith, there would be no recovery.”`
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Best Care Anywhere
3rd Street Beat by j.
I hate to say this, But I’ve been in and out of recovery for over ten years. In that time I’ve been in and out of a lot of outpatient programs. The other day I was sitting in a group here at T.R.C. and that old TV show M.A.S.H. came to mind.They had a slogan “M.A.S.H. 4077th Best Care Anywhere”, and I thought that should be the slogan here at The Recovery Center. The staff here is Top Notch, A Class Act. Their compassion for us (the clients) goes above and beyond what they were taught to receive their CASAC, and or other certificates to do this job. IT’S THE PEOPLE! The staff here are good, fine people with BIG hearts! You can see in their eyes that they care. Personally, it makes me want to do better. It’s a good feeling to know I have someone on my side fighting for me, fighting with me.. And for what? So I can have a better life. That’s true compassion, bordering on spirituality. I got involved with this newsletter (something I normally wouldn’t do) because I need to learn to interact with others. (after years of isolation due to my addiction) The newsletter is here for us because the staff came up with the idea for us to have something positive to do with our time, have our own say, and then they let us run it! The whole atmosphere here at T.R.C. is positive and uplifting. My God put us here on earth to do for others, and that’s just what the staff here is doing. This article is my Shout Out to all the staff here for a job Well Done. A GREAT JOB! I wrote this to say to everyone that works at T.R.C…..
TAK ! A special Shout Out goes to Lee Ann and Carli, who took time out of their lives to open T.R.C. on Christmas day! (They could have stayed home, warm and safe with their family and friends) I mean, THE PLACE IS CLOSED, but they go to their supervisors and ask permission to open this place for us. (Who the hell else does that?) They know some of us have no place to go, or family to be with on Christmas. That’s dedication, and a kind heart! (I am writing this Christmas day at The Recovery Center, & it is festive & full of clients like me) Well, this is the end of the road for me. I’ve been coming here roughly four months now. I’ve just recently acquired a job, and will be getting my own place to live very soon. Sure, I had to put in the time and effort to accomplish these things, but it was the hard work, passion, and dedication of the staff here at The Recovery Center that made this transition a lot more fun, bearable, comforting, and focused.
To the staff: TAKE A BOW.. YOU DESERVE IT!
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Recovery Playlist
by the
“Sketch by Brendan”
team
MU S A IN VE #1: #2:
#3: #4: #5: #6: #7:
3rd Street Beat
The Beatles - HELP! Red Hot Chilli Peppers Under The Bridge Lifetime - Maxwell Fred Hammond No Weapon Shall Prosper The Champs - Tequila Hey Ya - OutKast I Can - Nas
An original (anonymous) story
Music is a great motivator in recovery. Our brains respond to different songs and rhythms in different ways. It helps to keep us in a positive mood and if we’re feeling down it can uplift us. Music can also be very calming to help remove the noise in our heads and refocus on the the things we enjoy in life by creating a feeling of nostalgia. It is a also a great way for us to bond with others in recovery by identifying with people who enjoy the same songs or genre. Music can also give us a opportunity to challenge ourselves by learning to play a instrument. Just like in recovery, the more we practice the better we’ll get at it. Through hard work and dedication we can become very skilled and even help others by utilizing this unique skill. Recovery Rocks!!!
Word Search! recovery support counseling leisure employment games mindfulness motivation encouragement people places things love creativity friends activities compassion forgiveness possibility art writing growth
I don't know how long it took him to complete it, because i was not fully “there” when he created it. Judging by the crude, rough lines, I'm gonna guess that it was just a few minutes.. 15 or 20?.. Maybe 30? Whatever the timeframe was, Brendan captured something. With a few brief strokes of the pen, he truly managed to capture my essence (or momentary lack thereof). I will never know how long I was out or how long it took him to produce that little portrait. Brendan died last year, on Halloween. On that dark night, 10 months ago, the very drug that inspired his creative desire to capture life, robbed my friend of his very own. Continued next page
Drawing by Egon Schiele
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Strength Within a Community by Black Lavender
3rd Street Beat
Hello my name is Blac Lav! I’ve been in a Project Renewal shelter for 3 years and it’s been a rough ride. When I first got here I was overwhelmed with what I saw. I had gotten out of a therapeutic community and found myself homeless. I hated every second of it. First of all, here I am again, sleeping around a bunch of men again…Second of all, I thought I was a pimp, so why haven’t I found a woman with her own place that I could move in with?! That is how screwed up my way of thinking was when I first came here. I had to put up with drug selling, drug using of all kinds, and violence on a daily basis - not too different from being in the streets in active addiction. I started using with the others in the shelter. I guess I felt ‘can’t beat them so join them!’ Then, one day I took a big hit of cocaine and I ran out the bathroom and said I want a girl I ran up and down the streets of the Lower East Side looking for a girl. By the time my high went down, I had lost my bed at the shelter and I didn’t want a girl anymore. I wanted more drugs. It was cold outside and I spent that night out searching for them. Once morning came, I went back to the shelter dirty, hungry, feet hurting, and feeling miserable. When I came in, I looked to the left and saw people in a room. They were people I used with and they were looking good and smiling – and seemed to be happy. That’s what I wanted. I went to detox. When I got out, I joined the TRC program. That’s the room I saw the people looking good and smiling in. Since I’ve been in TRC I learned to use consequential thinking. I’ve learned to take breaths when I get too excited and to let those feelings I have decrease to the point where I can make a better decision – instead of reacting on my emotions when they first come about. I also gained strength so I can stay sober and focused in any environment - if the tools I’ve learned at TRC are applied. I’ve had some slip-ups, but they never turned their backs on me here. They gave me the time I needed for me to really get a grip on my life and recovery. Now, I’m about to get my apartment and start employment. The best thing I got at TRC, though, is a family that understands me, never gave up on me – even when I gave up on myself.
Sketch by Brendan Continued…. Had i been able to foresee Brendan’s early departure from this natural world, i would have kept that little scrap of paper in a safe place. The only tangible piece of evidence that i have of our friendship, at some point, became lost in the shuffle of my own life. i don't remember what date it was when Brendan sketched me. I don’t even know the year. i’m pretty sure that it was during my time with Desiree, whenever that was? i think that she is the only girlfriend ive ever done dope with, but Desiree wasn't there that day.. It was just me and Brendan.. He and i were supposed to go look at art that day, but we never made it out of his Bushwick apartment.. It wasnt for lack of effort that we never made it to MOMA.. i vaguely recall our attemtp to leave.. For some reason, we decided that sniffing a couple bags of dope would highten our cultural awareness.. At least, thats the excuse i was using..but before we even made it out of his building, i found myself layed out in the the first floor hallway, completely conscious of my whereabouts.. But unable to pick myself up.. I remember pleading with Brendan, “im good, im good.. (Continued on next page)
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3rd Street Beat
Sketch by Brendan Continued…. Just give me a minute and then we’ll go look at art”.. I had every intention of being awed by Rothko’s black on black paintings..but the next thing i remember is waking up on his couch with a grilled cheese sandwich, a bowl of tomato soup and a 40 oz. of St Ides waiting on the coffee table.. Clearly, heroin was NOT my thing.. But Brendan knew what was my thing - at least on that day.. Later that evening, when i had come to my senses, Brendan showed me his documentation of my involuntarily slumber.. Somehow, with a few seemingly effortless strokes of the pen, he was able to illustrate exactly what i was feeling that afternoon.. A feeling that i could probably never put into words with any sense of grace, quite simply transferred onto paper.. Despite its chaotic nature, each scratchy line of that little sketch seemed to serve a definite purpose..Prior to this, I was unaware that Brendan even possessed that type of Drawing by Egon Schiele talent throughout years of friendship and countless hours spent together at School of Visual Arts. This was the only time i had known him to draw anything. I can’t remember if i ever saw Brendan again after that day in his apartment...i probably did, but i think that both of our lives were in a pretty blurry state around that time. I do know that, one day, Brendan decided that the party was over and that a change of scenery was in order. With little warning, he decided to leave behind beautiful Brooklyn (and me) for the fresh air of upstate New York. i admired his courage and his desire to change, but despite his numerous invitations, I wasn;t ready to make that move. So just like that, Brendan was gone. We would still talk occasionally; he would tell me about the slower pace of life upstate, about driving to the store and about the friendly neighbor girl that he was hanging out with. She must have really been friendly, because it didn’t take long for her and Brendan to bring a child into this world-a baby girl. Not too long after the birth of their daughter, Brendan made that friendly neighbor his devoted wife in the beautiful little outdoors ceremony. Only through a series of facebook photos was i able to attend the wedding and watch them raise a daughter. As she grew older and became more of a child than a baby, i began to see more and more of Brendan in his daughter’s face. Even in her quirky sense of fashion, it was a very evident who her father was. Though i was witnessing it with my own eyes, Brendan’s transformation still seemed kind of surreal to me. My crazy ass partner in crime had become a genuine partner in life...a husband, a father, a family man. He seemed like a highly unlikely candidate for this role (i mean, this is the same guy that i had plans to start a porno film company with)...but, despite his tainted past, it appeared as though Brendan was fully embracing his new life. Last year, the same technological entity that provided a virtual looking glass through which i could rejoice in his promising new life, ultimately brought news of his untimely death. On an unassuming day in november, i reached out to Brendan with a casual facebook message, “yo...what’s good?”. Instead of his typical enthusiastic reply, i was met by a shockingly somber 7 response, “Brendan is gone. He died on Halloween.” (Continued on next page)
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The end of Sketch by Brendan... his friendly neighbor wife relayed the news through Brendan’s messenger. She informed me that he had died of a heroin overdose the previous week. I can’t say that i was completely surprised by the news (i had already lost several other friends that year to the very same killer), but Brendan’s death kind of caught me off guard...i thought that he had changed his ways. His wife was in the process of posting a flyer on Brendan;s page, an invitation for friends to come and join together in a celebration of his life the following week. Fittingly, the memorial was going to be held at Tom & Jerry’s, a shady little dive bar in New York’s Lower East Side. Brendan’s old stomping grounds. I was unable to attend. I had recently checked myself into a rehab program in harlem and was not allowed to leave the facility...especially not to go to Tom and Jerry’s! After briefly telling his wife how sorry i was to heat about his death, i took one last look at Brendan’s facebook page before deleting it forever (the same way i’ve done with all of my other friends that died way too young). I’ve noticed that other people can be reluctant to let go, keeping dead people on their “friends” list among the living. It may sound insensitive, but i don’t like clutter. Simply put, i’m a minimalist, which probably explains my affinity for paintings by Rothko...and a sketch by Brendan.
3rd Street Beat
Moving Forward By Omar Chandradatt Always forward, never reverse ~ Bob Marley Happy and healthy New Year’s to everyone, and thanks for your continued support of our newsletter. This article is about moving forward in our recovery. Recovery is something that is progressive and comes only with vigilance. In order for us to continue in our recovery process we must continue to move forward. This means remembering the pain and suffering we felt in active addiction to be a constant reminder of how much progress we made. We can’t afford to forget or we are doomed to repeat.In active addiction, we had goals and dreams, but addiction is such a cunning enemy of life that would keep us stuck in an endless cycle of failure and disappointment. Moving forward means setting achievable goals and having faith in ourselves to attain them. Moving forward means being humble enough to ask for help, willing enough to try our best, and honest about our disease of addiction. To achieve our goals and make our dreams a reality we must be willing to try new things and approach life with a renewed purpose. No one ever said it would be easy, but as people with addiction, we are very resistant and crafty. If we can utilize the same tenacity we put into getting our drugs into something positive - like our recovery - it is totally possible to have a happy, purposeful life. To truly get the life we want, we have to be willing to
to change all the negatives into positives. We must remove ourselves from toxic thinking patterns. We must keep negative people out of our lives. We must try to strive every day to be the best we can be. This year marks the turn of the decade and the opportunity for us to change with it. Only we can make this the best year of our lives. We’re given a whole new year to try and be better compared to our living before. All the things we wished we could have done in the past, we can do this year. We just have to be willing to try to be better compared to our lives before.We can use last year’s experiences as reference points moving forward to really know what we want and how to achieve and succeed in the new year. Last year’s failures can be considered learning experiences to truly get our lives together and make this year the best year ever. This can be the year we finally leave that toxic person alone, move out of that bad neighborhood, stop doing the same things and 8 expecting different results. Let’s make that our resolution - the best life ever begins in 2020.
3rd Street Beat
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Recy Cer Wey Sed
3rd Street Beat
The Recovery Center Thanks for reading our 8 East 3rd Street Outpatient Substance Use Treatment Program 212-533-8400 x144 for Intake
newsletter, we hope you enjoy it!
The 3rd Street Beat Are you in need of crisis services is accepting submissions! or medically supervised detox? If you would like to submit a piece of 24 hour art, your recovery story, or other work, Intake hotline see OT in the Recovery Center or 212-763-05961 attend the Newsletter Meeting at 2:00 pm on Thursday afternoons. 10