February 2021 Recovery Newsletter by Project Renewal

3rd Street Beat

healing

Produced by Clients of The Recovery Center 8 east 3rd Street 10003 #15 February 2021

SUPPORT Community

Cover art by Boots

The 3rd Street Beat Mission Statement The Third Street Beat is a newsletter written by and created for people with addiction. Our mission is to validate that experience so people know that they are not alone, and to emphasize the many unique roads that we take to recovery. This is an opportunity to share our experiences to creatively support each other. We are non-political, non-denominational, multi-racial, and gender neutral. Our mission is one of recovery and harm reduction, and all experiences are welcome. All the viewpoints herein are personal in nature and related specifically to our contributors’ recovery.

The 3rd Street Beat Editorial Team Emiliano, Al, Shams, Johnny Jungle, Rose, Steven M. and Moses. The 3rd Street Beat is produced by The Recovery Center community with assistance from the occupational therapy team.

3rd Street Beat back issues can be downloaded at:

TABLE OF CONTENTS FEATURES Gardening and Recovery by Grateful N. p. 3 Becoming the Rose by Rose Dudnik p. 5 From Moses to Moses by Moses Flores p. 7 POETRY & PROSE

Best Self by Steven M. p. 4 God is Good by Eric M p. 8 U don’t have to C by Steven M, p.8 Destiny by Moses Flores p. 9 Nelson Mandela by Moses F p. 10 Another Life by Angel M. p. 10 2 Letters from Mark Johnson p. 11 Lord’s Prayer by Tyler W p. 12 2/4/21 by Noyes p. 12 Letter by Angel R. p. 13 To Our Interns by Moses F p. 13 ART

Cover by Boots NoLA by Steven M. p. 6 Black History Month Banquet p. 11 Fluffy Heart by Steven M. p. 13 The Rest

Sudoku p. 1

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SUDOKU (solution p. 7) The rules of the game are simple: each of the nine blocks has to contain all the numbers 1-9 within its squares. Each number can only appear once in a row, column or box.

Gardening and Recovery By Grateful RWA Believe it or not, getting outside and playing in the dirt can do wonders for your recovery process! Growing and tending to plants in a garden has a wide variety of benefits that can support you on your journey; while growing flowers and plants and fruits and vegetables and herbs, you will find that you can grow a lot yourself, too. Quite a powerful parallel can be made between the slow, nurturing growth of plants and the slow, nurturing growth of addiction recovery for the self. Helping seeds grow into strong plants that produce food or beauty and help you to cultivate these things inside of you as well. Many lessons can be learned through this passion and art, including patience, compassion, self-worth, self-confidence, and more, and gardening can help alleviate depression, anxiety, and other mental health struggles. It can improve your physical health, and can even help you to avoid relapse, too! Read on to learn about the wonders of this centuries-old hobby, and the ways it can help you on your path.

BENEFITS OF GARDENING FOR MENTAL AND PHYSICAL HEALTH ●

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There are so many mental and physical benefits offered by gardening. Spending time helping plants grow is good for the mind, body, and soul. Here are just a few of the ways that gardening can help you grow as a person, and ways that in turn, can help you with your recovery. Gardening boosts Vitamin D levels because gardeners are outside in the sunshine often. Working in a garden is great exercise; raking, hoeing, and digging can be very physically challenging! Caring for another living thing reminds us to care for ourselves. Accountability to a plant can help keep your recovery on track. Exposure to beauty on a daily basis reminds us that life is beautiful and worth living. Successfully growing something healthy that you can consume can greatly boost self-confidence. Gardening gives you access to extremely fresh produce with lots of nutrients that can help you rebuild the immune system you destroyed while using. Working on a project alone can inspire intensive reflection that can be just as powerful as any group therapy. Spending time in a garden can fill the time you used to spend using drugs or drinking; it is a great way to use the extra hours you may find you have in the early stages of recovery. Growing things can be very meditative, giving you time to work through your problems. It is extremely satisfying to experience the fruits of your labor at the end of the growing seasons and share what you have created with loved ones; you will feel a great sense of well-being and purpose. Gardening promotes compassion, and it also helps you to be more creative. It ignites the right side of your brain and helps you feel more connected to others and the greater world. Spending time in nature is good for your mental health. Getting fresh air and being exposed to blue skies and green grass can be very calming. Digging in the dirt can reduce stress and make you feel more relaxed. - the end

BEST SELF by Steven McG Its better to b on somethn(care) Than to be on somethn(drugs) Aint that somethn Havin less money I drink W a lil company ill b free Like a friend in the end which I attend In more a beauty than all of her booty I wanna b cherished, plz dnt leave Even if ive so embarrassed bear of bad news, im the bad news bear even thru ups and downs my luv will b there member the turtle an the hare we aint gotta race lets just b fare lets not compare no need in wrestling in our thoughts watever we been taught, I speak keep learnin sobriety shows keep coming seems l this guitar im strumming bumpin sumthn, but showin luv showin action, we can blow this up rly wordplay I mean well tho casper the ghost wen im gone heart full of gold wen im home mmm molded my face just to see this man remindin myself to make my stand in this peanut butter I still jam rock it til the wheels fall off, not rly keep it aired up l reebok pumps I keep my addiction rite upfront Look how this sound, aint this me huh “It dnt matter if u black r white “ That’s z-bra

Becoming the Rose

by Rose Dudnik

So, as I said I would do last month, here’s the update on the transition, the becoming me, fierce, Queer and female. I’m going through a bit of a transition depression with my hormones being altered, not that it was unexpected. Still, it’s difficult. And, sometimes I resort to picking up again to numb the pain caused by ridicule and ignorance, not that using actually helps. And it doesn’t. So, I’m working on staying clean again, hough at times, doing so can seem impossible. But, I’m not giving up! Long ago, I was born. But I never got to live in that life. I mean, in my previous life I graduated high school at an age most people couldn’t fathom. I earned a college education that hardly anyone, if anyone, you know receives. I worked with the criminally insane, the sociopaths for 18 years. I got to take apart bombs for a living. Fuck, I’m actually a certified skydiver who proudly boasts of an 18,500 foot jump, and I didn’t even use oxygen! As if that were not enough, I got to marry my husband Ivan, my immortal beloved. Yeah. I did it all. But, like I said, I wasn't alive. You see, much of what I just revealed came at the price of unspeakable anguish, along with hiding Rose. At the end of that life, all was gone, swept away in some bad trip. So when the pain of losing the man I loved more than I will ever have loved anyone subsided, when I finally realized that I had an eternity before me to paint queer as all twisted fuck, I knew it was finally time to blossom. Now,In case you’re wondering, I’ve known since I was 5 years old and my sister let me put her makeup on. And let me tell ya, there’s seldom been an easy moment during my new life. Many have been my struggles. Many have been the tears. But, I wouldn’t trade a moment of my pain for all your happiness. I was, Born This Way! I have no reason to be ashamed of who I am! What I’ve gone through defines the me that I have finally accepted when I look in the mirror, a fierce bitch! I don’t need anyone’s approval anymore. That need went out the window the day I found out my husband never loved me. And, all the same, accepting me would be really nice. But, like I say, it’s not a requirement. I guess what I mean is, if I’m going to accept myself, then so too must I accept that you are allowed to be yourself. I must accept that you might not accept me. I applaud you for being you. I’m happy you get to be you. And, that’s it for now. In closing, next month I wanna try something different. I wanna hear from you. So, I’m going to have the OT hold an envelope where you can send me your questions, anonymously. Please feel free to ask anything you want, within the boundaries of what you’d allow someone to ask your sister or mom. I promise I’ll answer truthfully. Forever, The Rose

Forever,

The Rose

Art by Steven McGlothlin

Art by Bill Batson

From Moses to Moses by Moses

FEELING FOGGY? The New York Times reports that many people are experiencing memory and attention problems due to the stress of the pandemic year. You are not alone!

SUDOKU solution

This is a letter to Moses Flores and his family. It is a letter to reassure and conﬁrm my journey. As I embark into this new yet old journey. I walk into this journey not in blind faith. I walk into this journey of sobriety with a vague vision of what use to be. I was not born with a substance abuse problem. You see the my vision of sobriety was once fogged by my substance abuse. Yet because of TRC and my dedication to reﬁned myself, this once almost impossible journey of sobriety is attainable. Because of this new found attitude the journey is not only attainable it is also sustainable. The power lies within me. The way I see it. I must keep it simple. I must remember that my substance abuse was a very bad learned behavior. I now know that I have to retrain myself to be a person of substance and strength as opposed to a weak minded slave to substance abuse. There is an old saying. That's says once you learn how to ride a bike. You forget how to ride it. This might be true. Yet I believe that if you get on a bike and are happy to be clumsy or just daring for your own good, you might just set yourself up for a lot of injuries... and maybe even death. In other word just because you learn how to do something. It doesn't automatically mean that it's good for you. So if I keep falling on this bike, It might be that riding this bike is not good for me. So now will I ever forget how it feels to get high? or forget how to get high? That would be a be a big resounding "No!" But this I know - that I will no longer be taking this journey on that ever so dangerous bike. ~ the end

God is good. One day, my friend asked me to walk him a couple of blocks to the store, and on the way back we were approached by a lady who had two small bags. She then said, “do you guys want some food?” I then said no and walked away. She kept coming and said, “Are you sure?” So my friend said “what do you got?” She said “A bag of fruit, rice, vegetarian beans, and health food.” So I said, “I’ll take it!” She then said “I knew that you guys were homeless.” I asked “how did you know that we were homeless?” She said “I didn’t know.” She then said “I’m a recovering addict. I was heavily on cocaine. I’m 73 years old and I have been clean for 15 years, I know how it is. One day I decided not to use anymore. I asked God to take this addiction away from me with all my heart. He did, and I haven’t used since. Sixteen years ago, I started at the age of 40.” God sent an angel our way that day, and she was a blessing! - Eric Moore

U don’t have to c wat I saw Near death, we decide to ﬆend it faw I dearly have a caring A worry of pure concern, unbearing Were in me, shall I cross thin ice Try and ﬆeer u of wrongs So were back to our right mind Nor ailment of sum uncure Course this is not safe, Beﬆ I ask & wish is I hope daily u wake We r treading water, on a run Nor am I one, but in this one thru This outcome…I’ll give all my luv Battles tuff, farfetched, I kno of light In spite thru this battleﬁeld I can’t make it home w/o ﬁghting Any sightings we ﬆore it inline Don’t be afraid, wen things get frightening Thus we smile on this perilous journey There come a peace & turning In experience comes a learning Were pass the curve Any laﬆ burning desires? Yeah! My hearts rare peace bearer If anything I muﬆ show I have so juﬆ shared Steven McGlothlin

DESTINY by Moses Flores

Destiny can not be stopped. Destiny is tomorrow's promise. Tomorrow is not promised to you or I. Yet it is promised that the sun will rise tomorrow whether you are here or not - unless the sun suddenly blows up. But that is whole other topic in itself. Unfortunately this is not a science class. Most people know this fact to be true, but do not truly grasp it wholeheartedly. If you think yesterday counts for today, then I would have to say I think you are a fool. It seems that the same people who would say "yesterday is gone! We have to live for today and tomorrow's future." Will also quote you that “history repeats itself" In my opinion, yesterday is more important than tomorrow. You can not learn from tomorrow's future that hasn't arrived. Yesterday's his- or "herstory" is our greatest teacher. You learn from yesterday's failure or success. Yesterday is today's learning block - pretty much our tool to fix today's problem. History or "herstory" of yesteryear or yesterday gives us our greatest material and preparation for today's "Gifted day" / "Present day " . There is a reason and history behind every word, and none more apparent then the word today described as the "present/gift" that our Lord afforded us. Some stay stuck on yesterday, but it is impossible to be stuck on tomorrow's future which hasn't existed yet. Today's time is running whether u stay still or not. Whether you like or not. Why cry about tomorrow when today/God’s gift/present day is so important for tomorrow's unpromised arrival. We must push forward like time. You can not stop nor beat time. Time is is and will always be undefeated. We can not be time. Tomorrow is on its way weather we are here or not - no matter how you do your math. There are 60 seconds in a minute and 60 minutes in an hour... 24 hours in a day and 30 or 31 days (barring February's 28 days or 29 days on leap year) ...and so on and so on. Let's prepare ourselves by learning from yesterday's success or failure. To prepare us for today's challenge. To be able to pull through tomorrow's new challenges and obstacles in this cruel and unforgiving world. I am who I am today because yesterday's experience molded me for today. To prepare me for tomorrow's up and coming battle. May god have all the glory as I am just a puppet to my great master, the ultimate puppeteer! May God bless one and all. I hope my message from god can help you as he helps me! Let us not be stuck on yesterday's guilt so that we can fight today's battle and be prepared for tomorrow's unpromised future! May my Lord and saviour Jesus have all my present glory for his sacrifice of yesterday! Amen!

Known as Moirai or Moerae in Greek Mythology and Fata or Parcae by the Romans, the Fates were comprised of three women often described as elderly, stern, severe, cold and unmerciful. Their names in Greek were Clotho, (“the spinner”), Lachesis (“the apportioner”) and Atropos (“the inevitable”). The Roman names for them were Nona, Decuma and Morta. While Greek portrayal of these deities was that of grave and busy maidens, Romans often showcased them as being mean or denying humans their hopes and desires. - www.ancient-origins.net

NELSON MANDELA by Moses Flores

Today is not his birth nor death day. I don't even know his "death" day. I only know how he LIVED. He was thrown in a dungeon for 27 yrs - all because he was brave enough to ﬆand againﬆ apartheid. Sadly, moﬆ don't even know what apartheid is. Even more sad is that if you ask 100 people today, “what is apartheid?”… I would guess only 20 would actually know, and I think I'm being generous with them 20 ppl. Apartheid is segragation. (segregation being a forced separation between different races or religions spawned from hate) Apartheid was a segregation of black people in South Africa. Sad because black ppl also suffered this heinous act in the U.S.A., but inﬆead of hanging his head and giving up. He came home and not only helped end apartheid, he persevered and became one of the moﬆ inﬂuential presidents in not only South Africa but in the hiﬆory of mankind! So big ups to Mr Nelson Mandela! I could only wish to be half the Man you were, I represent greatness but what u represented, they ﬆill haven't invented a word for. So I'll use an acronym that is being used way to commonly - a theme that way too many losers use 2 describe themselves - "The G.O.A.T." For all u numb nuts that don't know what that acronym ﬆands for, it's ﬆands for The Greateﬆ Of All Time" Reﬆ in peace and God bless you. Nelson Mandela I know for a fact that you are in a better place!!!!! Due to my drug use I have overdosed over 5 times. God has spared my life so many times and I have been so ungrateful. But today I’m glad im alive and sober. I don’t have to worry anymore...about waking up dope sick thinking how I’m going to get money for my next my next fix today. I’m very grateful and happy that God gave me another chance at life. Now all I have to do is stay clean one day at a time. Today I have learned to love my life. Today also I have learned not to be selfish. I have 2 kids; my son is 18 and my daughter is 13. I have to take care my self for them. I plan on doing that I will attend groups, stay positive, pray to my higher power, and learn new coping skills to deal with my anxiety. Today I’m free and happy if you are reading this it’s not a coincidence. My addiction was heroin and cocaine. It doesn't matter what your addiction is...just keep in mind that there’s a higher power that loves you. Also keep in mind that you are special. Love yourself and live your dreams GOD Art by Diana Adriano BLESS. - By Angel M.

Black History Month Thanks Bombas Banquet at TRC! and North Face for our holiday gifts!!

My name is Mark D. Johnson. In the beginning, I was now, I have strong pretty powerful. self-confidence. Even But now as I get to care more abou older, I realize I ha t myself. I alway ve s try to help othe to forget that I co rs so much that me first...that if I st art I don’t help mysel So, now I realize f I can’t help othe I come first. Now rs. as I am thinking do most of my th about all of this, inking at night w an d I hen I am alone in come stronger be my bed, the thou cause there is no gh ts th ing to interfere or I I’m sitting here distract me. Now , I’m realizing and , as thinking about m accomplishments y life...my ...and my wrong de cisions. You know, I gotta do me! high. I would

es to get man I love. She lik wo e in a th d an f el ys too much. Now I’m is ng about m iti tle wr lit m a I' , n. gh so hi hn tting k Jo e not drinking, en it comes to ge My name is Mar ught me that wh , I have to practic ta op s st ha ly e al lif re t to bu r orde g is a drug. say too much, e I'm realizing in , just like smokin us ug ca dr be a ng is si g oo in ch nk n Dri e. It works. program of my ow es to every drug. my head. Trust m , as when it com in ng ki ks in ic dr st e it tic til ac er un just like I pr letter over and ov tice reading this ac pr to u yo n nt I wa - Mark Johnso eling the pain, Love time love fe

I wanted to share this with you because it uplifts me and keeps me going every day. THE Lord’s Prayer Our father which art in heaven Hallowed be thy name Thy kingdom come Thy will be done in earth as it is in heaven Give us this day our daily bread And forgive us our trespasses, As we forgive them that trespasses against us And lead us not into temptation, But deliver us from the evil. For thine is the kingdom, And the power,and the glory, For ever and ever Amen. - Tyler Williams 2/4/2021 by noyes

Art for purchase on Etsy from k9artgallery

11:46am.. awoken by the sound of a knocking on my hotel room door… FUCK!.. i missed writing group AGAIN!.. it had been one of those nights where i couldn’t sleep.. and then when 6am hit, i just decided that i would make it an all-nighter and make it to my program early.. the next thing i know, some nice young people from upstairs were at my door asking if i was interested in receiving the Corona vaccine.. so yeah, i guess that’s going down on Monday (today is Thursday).. a mix of emotions - disappointment that i overslept.. gratitude for being offered the vaccine (i guess i’m more essential than i thought?).. but most of all, amazement that i actually managed to sleep!.. even though it was an untimely slumber, it was the best sleep i’ve had in months… February 4th – my fourth day of sobriety.. doesn’t sound like much to most, but an eternity for me.. the most genuine clean time i’ve had in months.. good mind, good sleep.. coincidence?.. i don’t, i’m no doctor.. i’m just a hopeless alcoholic trying to make an honest change.. but then i remembered the 40oz i had been drinking the night before.. immediate shame and disappointment… damn, four days down the drain.. then i thought about it more and realized that the 40oz was just a small part of a crazy dream.. a confusing product of that magnificent sleep.. my win streak was still intact.. in another part of that dream, i was a part of the Jersey Shore cast.. that was even more upsetting.. i would much rather relapse than to GTL!.. luckily, neither ACTUALLY happened.. but to be honest, i welcome those crazy ass dreams.. at least when i’m dreaming, i know that i’m sleeping.. and when i am sleeping, i know that i’m winning.

Love is a four letter word, sorry but my kids come first. Well, I love to fix cars, houses, bikes and motorcycles. I love to see people safe. I enjoy watching Netflix, specifically action, drama, history and Sci-fi movies. I remember setting a schedule for my kids to go the movies Every Friday. This made me feel happy and I look forward to doing it again SOON! Thank you to the staff and interns. May your journey BE GRATEFUL!!!! Heart by Steven McGlothlin

Angel Rivera

To our latest interns…

Being influential shouldn't, and has no age limit, nor does it have an age requirement. In the short time that I have had the pleasure of knowing and working with Chelsea and Cayla .(the new occupational therapy interns at TRC) I have been greatly influenced by them. These two young women have been smart and very professional. They have been caring, patient and wise beyond their youth. They have been pleasingly influential to not only me, but to many here at TRC. Their calm demeanor has been reassuring to us who are in a very fragile and delicate battle with recovery. In their short time here, they have reinforced my mission to turn my life around to a more positive and optimistic direction. They have been like a breath of fresh air in a world full of pollution and despair. They showed not only great patience, but have been also unbelievably enthusiastic and optimistic. Some of us can take a whole lifetime to find their passion or calling in life. These young women have been blessed to find their gift at an early age. They have been very influential and inspiring - with a grace that is hard to match. I want to give them a great big shout out, and wish them prosperity in their future endeavours. I would wish them luck, but they are way too good at what they do to need luck. I'm telling them goodbye with a heavy heart, but I know for sure that wherever they land and whoever they serve will be as fortunate and lucky to have them as we were here at TRC. I have been heavily influenced by you guys. I want to thank you wholeheartedly for everything you guys did for - not only me, but for all of us. I want to also acknowledge Miss Lee Ann for continuously being not only a great occupational therapist, but also a great mentor. Please remember to never stop being who you are because you guys are super awesome. MAY God continue to bless the both of y’all. - Moses Flores

Recovery Center Weekly Schedule for February-March 2020

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