February 2023 3rd Street Beat

3rd Street Beat 3rd Street Beat

Produced by Clients of The Recovery Center

8 east 3rd Street 10003

#37 February 2023

The 3rd Street Beat Mission Statement

The Third Street Beat is a newsletter written by and created for people with substance use disorder. Our mission is to validate that experience so people know that they are not alone, and to emphasize the many unique roads that we take to recovery. This is an opportunity to share our experiences to creatively support each other. We are non-political, non-denominational, multi-racial, and gender neutral. Our mission is one of recovery and harm reduction, and all experiences are welcome. All the viewpoints herein are personal in nature and related specifically to our contributors’ recovery.

The 3rd Street Beat Editorial Team

The 3rd Street Beat is produced byThe Recovery Center community with assistance from the occupational therapy team.

3rd Street Beat back issues

I wish to take but I am mindful for what may fall Branches cant bare fruit if they break

Im careful of armless trees that grow too tall

Today I prayed to all of a mans closed doors, to open them all Whether he prays for wisdom to maneuver is not my decision or call I find in the eyes of beauty I don’t stare too long

My heart breaks listening to all of those sad songs

This is the farthest I reached in my story thus far Im nearer

To avoid being lonely I find companionship in the mirror

I fell in love with myself and not out of vanity

In vain, my villains loved the vocals of the voices my bands would sing

But roses I gave revolved around revolutions of my rarities

Why did I fall in love with all of those beautiful catastrophes

This is why without my reflection even asking for roses, I fall in love with me Everybody wants to be chosen but nobody wants to do to be chose

My chest beats harder than the waves hitting the beach shores

My imagination, sand dug in with their toes

Fascination of my a Queens placement, oh is I, to be woe

I wonder how far down the wind looks to watch the breeze blow.

-Yess

Today is a good day. I made it back to Trc. I had a great weekend with my good friend. My mood is better. But I’m still a little bitter about some things. Still a better today. Can make an awesome tomorrow. It feels great to have the support that I have when I get it. Happy to have a place to live, roof over my head, a warm place in the winter, and I cook place in the summer. What more can I say?

By Julius Simms

My Recovery

I no longer am hopeful for a life lived unlived, unwillingly. I have sat down with ripples of the past, and to my surprise; I was unmoved by the waves. Balancing attention in my fingers is no longer a pastime of mine. When I desire these melodies, I know what pianos I’m sitting near. My reflection is starting to look happy and for this I’m glad. Much time I’m spending carving that marble. Through the whispers of the appraiser I hear my worth increasing. Sunday this is not a question of how much, it was a question of when. If you ask me, they are still my shoes off. I am, and I am not finished.

The Chronicles of Darryl: Volume 3

By Darryl Armour

“Moynihan Train Hall”

One day, I was in Midtown Manhattan by the basketball place called Madison Square Garden, where the Nets play at. I was right across the street on the backside. I went to the train station called Moynihan Hall. People catch the train all through the country and New York City is the big stop that everyone goes to. So I was inside, eating my lunch, waiting for my friend to come. When he got there, he was a little grumpy with a little nasty attitude towards me. I saw this other man walking through the hallway in the train station, so I saw him drop money on the floor. So I started to walk towards the money. Me being an addict and alcoholic, my ‘stinkin thinkin’ kicked in. So, this old white lady saw the man drop the money too. She told the man, “Excuse me, sir, you dropped your money on the floor.” I said to myself, “Damn! I could’ve got that money.” I told my friend what happened, because he wasn’t paying attention - he was on his cell phone. My heart almost jumped out of my chest. It’s scared me a little bit. If I gotten caught with that man’s money, I could’ve gotten locked up for robbery. The police would have bagged me, for sure. So, I learned a lesson on that one. I noticed when that happened and I was telling my friend about it, the old lady was looking at me - she was real nosy and she was on her cell phone looking at me. She was probably calling the police on me. Thank God the police didn’t come. God will bless me with the money, but it will be a curse if the police would lock me up. So, there are two sides to what happened. Thank God it was the right one.

“My friend, Kay”

My Spanish female friend, Kay. I saw her one night. I gave her three dollars for some drugs. She had me walking all around the block looking for a dealer, so I gave up and went home and went to sleep. So the next night I was on 145th St. I just got off the train, so I saw Kay sleeping on the ground by the store. I tried to wake her up but she kept kicking her feet at me. I told her, “you owe me those three dollars. Sleeping on the street is on you - I was just trying to be nice and let her sleep in my room and get out of the cold. I don’t know why she wanted to sleep in the streets. She wanted to be homeless and use drugs. And to top it off, she’s mentally unstable. I want to help her, but it seems like she don’t want to help. I wish I could send her to TRC or Project Renewal so she can get her life together. She told me she lost her kids to the system or her kids are with family members. I wish I could get her kids back to her. She’s got to get her life together before it is too late. God forbid, I don’t want her to be locked up in jail or somebody kill her or she overdoses. I just have to pray to God for her. Thank you for letting me share.

Just for today

Just for today, I would be grateful for waking up to another day. Just for today, I will ask my Lord and Savior to guide me and hold me into the person he intended mean to be. Just for today, I will think positively and block out the negative. Just for today my mind will be on my goals and what I want out of life.

Just for today I will keep the focus on my own self, and not get wrapped up into any negativity.

Just for today, I will keep an open mind. Just for today I will turn my wheel over to my LORD AND SAVIOR Jesus Christ.

Just for today, I will trust up the Lord with all my heart. Just for today, I will let GOD do for me what I can do for myself. JUST FOR TODAY!!!!

By A.T.

First Things First

Put GOD first, and then everything else will fall into place. For instance, your recovery will be easier to accomplish, by taking one day at a time, I’m relying on your higher power to give you the strength to get through another day clean and sober. Without a higher power, maintaining a clean silver life would be impossible. My higher power gives me the answer, and then you must put in the work of being responsible for my actions. If you put the effort and work, and everything will be manifested in your life.

By A.T.

CHRONICLES OF DARRYL CONTINUED…

“The Cat Burglar“

The cat burglar, Carl, is it again when I came in for my daily rounds, I noticed my room door was cracked. I said to myself, I know I locked my room door, I locked my cell phone, my charger, and my gold and white KenGriffeyJuniorbaseball Nike sneakers were gone. That’s my stupidity. I got to make sure my room door is locked at all times so this doesn’t happen again. I don’t know the owner of the building. I never met him before. I don’t know how he looks like. The only one I know is Supreme the super. I told Supreme the first time somebody came in my window and took my underwear and socks. I got a funny feeling it was Carl the first time he took my eyeglasses and my shades cases in my window sill. I don’t know if Carl is selling my stuff to a drug dealer to get high or if he’s keeping stuff to himself. I am living here rent free for a whole year. My public assistance or welfare is paying the rent. I got a five year lease on this rent. I got to get a job to pay 30% of my rent. That would be between between $300 to $400 and some change a month. I cannot move out because I might go live somewhere worse than where I’m moving now. I wish I could get a studio or one bedroom with a kitchen so I can cook, and a bathroom to wash my body, shave, brush my teeth, do a number one pee-pee or number two doo-doo, throw up, spit up. I don’t want to get that mad or upset about it or go on a mission to get high or drunk that would make matters worse. I got to get a job, get my own place, money in the bank. Clothes, food, and live my life clean and sober.

Thank you For letting me share,

Darryll Armour.