The Problem with College Decision Arranged Marriages

ARRANGED MARRIAGES

The evolution and modernization of arranged marriage in Indian culture

Arranged marriage has been an integral part of Indian culture for multiple centuries. With more than 95% of all marriages in India being arranged, ac an Americans no longer value these determinants of marital compatibility and are breaking the mold by not conforming to the tradition of arranged marriage.

Nonetheless, matchmaking does still consider physical aspects because it is a large aspect of human attraction.

Said Radha Patel, founder of Single to Shaadi matchmaking services, “I do believe that that attraction is evolutionary, so there’s a point that if you’re not still finding a client someone they find attractive. Arranged marriages have been known in particular to perpetuate strict gender roles. Most matches are heterosexual, and in the past, have catered to the man’s needs more while women felt more pressured into marriages. Said Patel, “sexism is systemic in almost every institution around the entire world. Matchmaking is not any different. [...] male clients are like ‘I only want women who are under

cording to the New York Times, this custom has a considerable influence on the family dynamic in the traditional nuclear Indian family. To briefly summarize, arranged marriage is a result of matchmaking where a couple is introduced by a third party—matchmaker, newspaper ad, parents, mutual friends or other factors. This process has often considered caste (the Indian class system), astrology signs, skin tone, and socioeconomic status. However, many of these criteria, especially skin tone and caste, have been deemed antiquated as they are considered colorist and classist. While still prevalent, many second generation Indiattracted to tall, dark and handsome, that’s fair, you’re just not attracted to it. So while we don’t act about it explicitly, we do take people’s preferences into account because in all candidness, I’m not going to be a successful matchmaker if I’m not helping you find what you’re looking for.” There is a complex balance between trying to break the stereotype that matchmaking promotes certain beauty standards but a cer tain age because I want to have children naturally.’” However, as communities are evolving and beginning to dismantle the sexist

beginning to dismantle the sexist hierarchy, the same is happening with matchmaking. Women are taking larger roles in the process. Said Patel, “Women are empowered. [...] we’re taking our own proactive approach.” Another area of matchmaking that has recently been rapidly changing is the role of parents in choosing potential spouses. Conventionally, parents play a large part in the process since they arrange

for the match maker and choose the

criteria needed, often taking the decision almost entirely out of the hands of their kids. However, by have that time to date for fun, get your heart broken, and you know just live life a little bit focused on your career, [and] figure out what you want before you jump right into a long term relationship that leads to marriage.”

adopting lower prices and marketing services directly to singles, the control is shifting to the kids. Said Patel “I wanted to take the parents out of the process. From that perspective, I know families are always important and are going to weigh in on decisions and influence what it is that we’re searching for, but I wanted to remove that family pressure that usually

happens.” This consistent theme of modernising

arranged marriages has still not erased the inherent connotations of forced marriages, child brides and overall unhappiness surrounding this practice. While these unsavory results have occurred in the past and will always occur in other areas in the world where young individuals cannot reshape the societal norms surrounding arranged marriage, there is a new generation of Indians morphing it into their own terms and crafting it to fit their own kind of happiness. Said Patel, “You need to This focus on the individual’s happiness, needs and goals is proof that arranged marriage is evolving to fit with the times. It will change to fit the norms and priorities of the new generations of Indians who will further morph arranged marriages as the practice continues to be an integral part of South Asian culture