FEATURING: Real Estate, Liz Worth, Kelli Murray, Wylie Maercklein, Burl Norville, Daniel Hipólito, Alex Caesar + Benjamin Hunter, Kate Pugsley, Reece Mizelle, Gallery and Literary Sections
Winter Two Thousand & Ten
WINTER 2010
CONTENTS
We n e v e r h a d s o m a n y f r i e n d s a s i n
Winter Two Thousand Ten
&
DANIEL HIPóLITO 09
“SUBURBAN MANHOOD” by alex caesar + Benjamin hunter 13
Real Estate 27
WyLie MAERCKLEIN SHOWS US AUSTIN’S FILM SCENE 31
OPINION 07, 55, 57
11 REECE MIZELLE
23 A CHAT WITH KATE PUGSLEY
37 KeLLI MURRAY
Does the city get too much credit? Ask Liz Worth (7). Are the suburbs too perfect? Ask Nathan Ryan (55). Finally, environments don’t need to dictate our art, according to Zachary Hill (57).
LITERATURE 41
19 BURL NORVILLE
GALLERY 47 TWITTER ILLUSTRATION 53
Psst. Check down here for more relevant information!
Selected poems from Tim Jarvis, Erin Loughlin and Alexa Mangrum.
Selected works from John Loughlin, Ricardo Contreras-Gonzales, Simone Shin, Mike Salcido and Tessa Hulls. We pair gallery artist Tessa Hulls up with a tweet from @PostSecret.
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Up (dark) and early to take our PM4 staff photo. And no, you won’t be seeing it in your mailbox as a Christmas card. #Sorry @ProxartMag // And, we’re assuming, you can tell by the picture just how happy we were to be up at 6 a.m.
HELLO Welcome to the Winter 2010 issue of Proxart Magazine.
EDITORIAL EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Gianna Hughes • gia@proxart.org • @GiannaHughes VISUAL ARTS EDITOR Zachary Hill • zach@proxart.org • @ZRHill COPY EDITOR Benjamin Panama
CONNECT: We’d love to hear from you! So, let’s get talkin’. Proxart.org Facebook.com/Proxart @Proxart
DESIGN & CREATIVE
@ProxartMag
CREATIVE DIRECTOR & DESIGN Nathan Ryan LEAD DESIGNER Justin Miyamoto • justin@proxart.org • @JustinMiyamoto DESIGNER Favian Romo
PHOTOGRAPHY
LITERATURE curated by Gianna Hughes GALLERY curated by Zachary Hill SECTION DESIGNS by Justin Miyamoto
PHOTOGRAPHY EDITOR Benjamin Hunter • ben@proxart.org • @BenjaminHunter FEATURING: Real Estate, Liz Worth, Kelli Murray, Wylie Maercklein, Burl Norville, Daniel Hipolito, Benjamin Hunter + Alex Caesar, Kate Pugsley, Reece Mizelle, Gallery and Literary Sections
Winter Two Thousand & Ten
EVENTS DIRECTOR, EVENTS & PR Benjamin Panama • panama@proxart.org • @BenPanama CURATOR, ROMO Favian Romo • favian@proxart.org • @ROMOStudio
DIRECTOR/PRESIDENT Nathan Ryan • nate@proxart.org • @NthnRyn CO-DIRECTOR/TREASURER Timothy Seaton • tim@proxart.org Proxart.org • 1
PROXART IS A CERTIFIED NON-PROFIT. PLEASE E-MAIL HELLO@PROXART.ORG IF YOU'D LIKE TO LEARN MORE AND/OR DONATE. All Material © 2010, Proxart Inc.
3 | Winter 2010
COVER IMAGE of Real Estate shot by Benjamin Hunter
@This is where you can find people on Twitter.
HELLO
BRICK v. STUCCO
BRIEFING A quick snapshot of what’s gone down for art in the suburbs since the release of our Fall 2010 issue.
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A CITY DEFINED BY HISTORY AND A CITY DEFINED BY CONVENIENCE IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BRICK AND STUCCO.
Brick tells stories. Stucco sells you insurance. Brick is layered to remind you that you started somewhere (i.e. at the bottom). Stucco is a blank slate and you can’t tell which way is up. Brick shows its age. Stucco stays the same. In the majority of modern suburbs, stucco defines the landscape: Each building looks like a carbon copy of every other building. With this degree of uniformity built directly into the fabric of our communities, it’s easy to forget just how much diversity actually sits inside any given suburb’s borders. As our winter issue came together, we were struck by each artist’s story. It reminded us that although the buildings in our cities might look prim, polished and safe, not everyone living inside them is as bland. See, suburbs don’t avoid the problems of the city. Suburbs simply attempt to hide the problems of the city; and if you’re willing to look hard enough you’ll see that people are a lot more varied than you might think. We hope you enjoy this collection of art, and the incredibly varied stories of the artists behind it. Cheers,
PROXART
G: Global L: Local (to Proxart) September G Ellen Dunham-Jones in NY Times. L SCV privatizes the public library (this seems to be a trend...) October G “Build a Better ‘Burb” winners announced. L Shei Tan exhibit at ROMO Studio. November G Arcade Fire performs songs from “The Suburbs” on “Saturday Night Live.” L CalArt’s Christine Wertheim, head of CalArt’s MFA Writing Program in the School of Critical Studies and co-founder of The Institute for Figuring, has art exhibit titled “Hyperbolic Crochet Coral Reef” open at the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History.
Welp: We made it. A look back over our first full year of covers. F R A N K H A N S E N : S p r in g 2 010
A LM A JUA REZ: Sum m e r 2010
DALE Y H AKE : Fall 2010
R E AL E STATE : Winter 2010
FEATURING: Alma Juarez, The Victor Ship, Theft,
Featuring: Frank Hansen, Sarah Johnston, Diana Herald, Favian Romo, Stephanie Smith, Brian Gurrola & more...
FEATURING: Real Estate, Liz Worth, Kelli Murray, Wylie Maercklein,
FEATURING: Daley Hake, Jacob Escobedo, Oliver Dunn,
Aaron Bjork, Dining Dead, Joe MASARO Gionoglio,
Burl Norville, Daniel Hipolito, Benjamin Hunter + Alex Caesar,
Sam Szulc, John German, Gallery and Literary Sections
& the premiere of our Literary Section.
Summer Two Thousand & Ten
Fall Two Thousand & Ten
Kate Pugsley, Reece Mizelle, Gallery and Literary Sections
Winter Two Thousand & Ten
Proxart.org • 1
Proxart.org | 4
HELLO
PROXART.ORG ı It’s brand-spankin’ new. Here’s a bit behind the redesign: 01
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05
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AFTER MONTHS SPENT WORKING WITH ARTIFICE*STUDIOS, on Nov. 29, we launched the new, completely redesigned Proxart.org. “It was only a matter of time until Artifice*Studios and Proxart worked together,” said the founder and creative director, Antonio Diaz. “Their enthusiasm and passion for creativity made it easy for us to pump out a really great website for them. A product we are very proud of.” Together we’ve put together a beautiful and functional site that will be able to expand into what we’d like to see this budding online (and offline) community become. Here are of the new features: 01 B A C KG R OUNDS
03 COMMUNITY
0 5 CO N TACT
Now we have ar twork en vel opin g a l l of our co ntent. Check the bo t t om - right of t he pa ge to fi nd out whose it is a n d s en d us yours f or a ch ance to have it fea t ured .
We’re n o t h i n g w i th o u t yo u - we k n ow th at! Chec k “C o m m u n i ty” t o f i n d o u t w h e re we’re ho s t i n g e ve n t s , an d h ow yo u c an g e t in vol ve d .
If yo u’d l i k e to c o n t ac t u s directly, you ca n g o s tr ai g h t t h ro u g h o u r c o nta ct for m, find a s p e c i f i c c o n tac t , o r b row s e throug h the s ta ff b i o s . Ad ve r ti s i n g i n f o i s a ls o a va ilble.
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DI S Q U S CO M M E N T I N G
02 TOPIC S Fro m here you’ll be ab l e t o f in d ever y t hin g we’ve written on any t opic l ist ed , in c l udin g: Vi su al ar t, Per formanc e a r t , Mus ic , Lit era ture , Community & Cul t ure.
Quic k a c c e s s to e ve r y p as t an d c u r re n t i s s u e of Proxar t Mag azi n e - i n c l u d i n g l i n k s to t h e P DF s an d we b - o n l y c o n te n t .
Yo u are n ow ab l e to j o i n t he dis cus s ion on Prox ar t. o r g u s i n g yo u r Di s qus - a ccount info — o r by l o g g i n g i n w i t h Tw itter / Fa cebook o r Op e n I D .
Check out t he shor t film ca s e st udy we m ade for A r t ifice at A rt i f i ceSt u dios .com
5 | Winter 2010
OPINION
T
he city: A cultural mecca often seen as a hotbed of hip up-andcomers, underground movements and streets full of dreams. We look to our major cities to dictate mainstream trends and alternative outlets. We expect that if we search those aging streetscapes and mysterious alleyways long enough we will stumble upon a happening that was hiding out until it was ready to reveal itself to the rest of the world.
But the city does not always deserve such credit. Standing in contrast to bright city lights and skyscrapers, our suburbs are often thought of as being just as intellectually grey, homogenized and sparse as they appear from the side of a highway. But in a place where the action is slow, creativity can run high, if for no other reason than people need something to do. And although we credit cities with breeding creative intelligence, a lot of independent culture has roots in suburbia.
URBANITY of S U B U R BI A
The
We tend to devalue a creator’s credibility when he or she comes from the suburbs. Conditioned to praise only urban products and to shun suburban efforts as second-rate imitations, we often forget that much of the independent culture we familiarize ourselves with started out on the outskirts instead of in the cores. England’s punk scene was formed by many kids who lived in a suburb outside of London. The DIY scene that sprouted out of the U.S. in the late 80s and early 90s didn’t all start in Seattle, but in its suburbs. And Canada’s zine culture and independent music forays thrive on the energy from its satellite cities and small towns just as much as it does the metropolises. “I think there’s definitely an idea—a sort of dismissive idea—about the suburbs because there’s obvious privilege that happens in the suburbs,” says Jennifer Whiteford, author of the novel “Grrrl,” published by Gorsky Press. “So people can say, ‘Oh, they’re just a bunch of rich white kids from the suburbs.’ They don’t necessarily have the same valid opinion, which is funny because when you think about it the suburbs are where younger, poorer families are going to buy houses, so the lower-middle class will gravitate towards certain suburbs.” Whiteford, whose coming-of-age novel centers around a girl growing up in the ’burbs, spent her teen years in Unionville, a suburb north of Toronto. As a teen who didn’t want to hang out at the mall, she
7 | Winter 2010
OPINION
looks back to the isolation of that time and attributes to it the short novel she wrote, the zine making she got done, and a lot of the journal entries she made. And although Whiteford admits she wished she was a downtown kid, she says that some people can thrive creatively when they are deprived of distractions, while others need the constant flow of life. She sees a kind of equality in the worlds of the urban and suburban, no matter how we like to romanticize or criticize them. “I think cities are held up as being more tolerant than more rural or small town kind of environments,” says Whiteford, “and I think people really see that as nurturing to artistic sensibilities. But I don’t know that that’s always true. I know there are a lot of small towns where there’s a lot of really interesting, creative stuff going on.” But geography isn’t often associated with creativity so easily. In a past issue of the Toronto zine Wavelength, an interview with Lava Witch, a band from the city’s surrounding 905 region, stated that “they are much too good for Mississauga.” Similarly, when a Toronto alternative weekly ran a feature
on the breakout success of Mississauga’s The Meligrove Band, the story was titled “Misery Saga.” Regardless of how much weight is behind certain talents, there remains a sense of embarrassment when it comes to uttering the name of a suburb in the same sentence as something new and exciting.
when the major cities are spaced so far apart, and so the need for Canadians to create their own media and music is found in pockets across the country. And while many end up in major cities to expand these efforts, their sprawling peripheries still deserve credit, for out of those blank spaces come canvasses covered in underground culture.
Says a member of The Meligrove Band, “Even now when I talk to people and (they ask), ‘Where did you go to high school?’ It’s ‘Oh, I went to high school in Toronto,’ because it’s so much more recognizable and you don’t even have to explain. And maybe there’s a little bit more of that clout: I’m from Toronto—instead of Markham.”
Deeming isn’t daunted by the thought of his creative efforts being less likely to land on the radar than if they were happening in a bigger city. With 13 years of zine and video making behind him, he says he can find just as much inspiration in the outskirts as on the main streets.
Even satellite cities can end up lumped into the world of suburbia, regardless of whether the perspective is realistic or not. Skot Deeming of London, Ontario’s Boot Disk, a trio that combines images with sound, has played in not-so urban places. He admits there is more culture to experience in major cities, and so those places tend to overshadow their smaller counterparts.
“I enjoy the sense of community that exists in the so-called margins,” he says. “I find it much more compelling to be a part of that. It’s very satisfying. I want to enjoy my creative side; my primary motivations lie in the simple fact that I want to have fun, and want others to have fun with my work. And I think that no matter where I am, big city, small city, that’s something that won’t change.”
One long-standing argument about Canada’s geography is that keeping DIY culture alive across such a huge land mass can be difficult
---------This article was originally published in Broken Pencil, Issue 31.
LIZ WORTH is from Etobicoke, Canada, and has been living in Toronto for the past 10 years. She is inspired by such obscurities as punk rock, old journal entries and industrial neighborhoods. Worth’s main artistic focus is writing novellas and chapbooks. She also writes articles and poetry for various publications, such as Broken Pencil, The Toronto Star and Exclaim! Her novels include “Treat Me Like Dirt: An Oral History of Punk in Toronto and Beyond” and “Eleven: Eleven.”
Etobicoke was a place to create her own adventure, and this has helped with her creativity in adulthood. According to Worth, it is impossible to not be shaped by your surroundings, and she is able to take inspiration from memories as a rebellious suburban child.
BIO: LIZ WORTH
Although Worth lives in the city, she claims that the suburbs have shaped her. “I often miss my old neighborhood and I still think of it as my home,” she said.
“I wouldn’t have the same ideas now without my experiences growing up,” she explained. The suburbs have opened up more artistic possibilities for Worth; her imagination ran away alongside her to the city. For more Liz Worth: LizWorth.com @LizWorthXO
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Daniel Hipólito
I
t is easy to assume that everyone’s experience with suburbia is the same: safe, quiet and homogenous. However, this assumption is false. Austin-based artist Daniel Hipólito knows this firsthand. He grew up in Missouri City, Texas—a town outside of Houston—and his trying experiences there inspired his flight to the city and shaped who he is as an artist. Hipólito was born in Alaska, but his family soon relocated to the Houston area. As a child, this region was decaying. Socially, Hipólito was an outcast due to his Mexican heritage. He remembers the neighborhood as being both racist and classist; his family often received threats from local residents since they were not of the middleclass norm.
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FEATURES
“I graduated high school with my car packed and I left the next day,” said Hipólito. His parents left after he graduated as well. Hipólito has been creating art since age three as a form of escape. Over the years, his art has transitioned from fanciful to experimental to classical. He takes hundreds of photographs
Despite no longer living in suburbia, the area still has a profound effect on Hipólito’s art. “I still draw the long shadows that are uninterrupted by buildings and other people,”
A t i t s w or s t , su b u r b i a i s a ve r y clear re p r es en t a t i o n o f wh at i s wr o n g w it h our s o c i e t y . We a lt h c o m e s fr o m a d e ficit of w ealt h.
the city and leave the rest. Unfortunately, this has inspired the social phenomenon of white and black flights to and from the U.S. suburbs. During his childhood in Houston, not fitting safely into a racial and economic category meant being ostracized. Art was used as an escape, and is now used to remember.
every few months to remember events and places that he has seen or experienced. He then recreates these images with pen, brush and ink; even his murals are created with only brush and ink.
he explained. He is interested in what lies beneath the surface—a repetitive theme found in suburbia. He can see beauty in the ranch-style architecture of many of the homes, but flaws in the people that reside within.
“At its worst, suburbia is a very clear representation of what is wrong with our society,” said Hipólito. “Wealth comes from a deficit of wealth.” In his opinion, the suburbs ignore much of what has made them what they are today.
Hipólito has a minimalist approach when it comes to both creating his art and his personal consumerism. He keeps the artistic process simple and uses as little synthetic materials as possible. He also does not waste his materials; he will use his paint until it is dry.
“[Suburbia is] beautiful; but in the way that something dying is really beautiful,” said Hipólito. In his eyes, he can find artistic beauty in anything—the good, the conformed, and the tragic.
“Beneath the veneer of our stable society, there’s blood on everything,” he said. “I try to put these ideas in people’s faces, and even my own face.”
“People are trying to synthesize what they like from urban life,” said Hipólito. “I like the idea of that.” People take what they like from
Sepulveda Pass, 2.20.01
The adversity he has faced has inspired him to be more conscious as a consumer. His beliefs transcend art and move into his daily life. Hipólito will not buy new clothing; he refuses to be wasteful and will not contribute to the demand for factory labor in third-world countries. He lives to be part of the solution, not the problem.
In his opinion, the suburbs show the best and the worst of American culture. He loves the desolate splendor of it all; the dark beauty that captures an ideal that Americans try so hard to obtain.
This is best exemplified in his mural, “Freaking Out,” a collage of car accidents, suicide bombings and plane crashes. The mural is a collision of society’s downfalls coming together. To one, a certain location or event may not appear to be lacking; to others, it can be detrimental. Nothing should be ignored, no matter how much we try to cover it up.
For more Daniel Hipólito: web.mac.com/hmngbrd
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IN THE PLASTIC UTOPIA KNOWN AS SUBURBIA, art can be hard enough to find as it is. But imagine how difficult it is to unearth quality hip hop music, a genre that is stereotypically, aesthetically and culturally designed for the urban environment. Reece Mizelle not only survives, but flourishes within his prison of factory-made homes by pulling inspiration from the masters of his craft.
R E E C E M I Z E L L E A rtic le by Z A C H A RY H I LL � P h o t o g r a p h y by B E N J AM I N HU N T E R
11 | Winter 2010
FEATURES
A lot of producers don’t go out of the way to create their own sounds from scratch, but I do. Most artists have a passion for what they do, but Mizelle’s dedication to bettering himself as an artist is apparent. While artists often try to find comfort in niches and techniques, Mizelle seems to do the opposite. He tries to experiment by pushing his limits as a musician while still maintaining a signature sound. His music could be compared to other producers, such as Flying Lotus or Nujabes; but you know it’s Mizelle, which is rare and special in a musical environment where originality is no longer the standard for success.
Like many emerging artists, Mizelle takes advantage of his environment. He uses the cultural isolation suburbia provides as a way to focus on his music. He does not see his location as a burden, but as an opportunity to grow and develop as an artist. However, Mizelle still recognizes the challenges and struggles that come with growing up in a suburb, especially the struggle of seeking exposure and recognition.
“Growing up in the suburbs is nice because you don’t really have to worry about too much violence. Everything’s pretty close “My sound fits the way I am as a person. A lot together. You know everyone in the city that’s doing muof producers don’t go out of the way to sic, filming and painting. Some of the schools out here create their own sounds from scratch, have the funding for some good creative programs, but I do. The dirty sounds I use and like my high school had DIA (Developing Indehow I sit them over the samples is “A lot of producers pendent Artists). This was a music club that gave pretty unique. I’d like people to don’t go out of the students the chance to perform and to get their know me for putting out solid work onto an actual album. I did that in 2006. projects—good music they can way to create their own Some cons about growing up in the suburbs are enjoy and relate to.” if you aren’t actively searching for new music, art He is able to use traditional skills sounds from scratch, and movies, whatever it may be easily passes you as a music composer when he by. There aren’t a lot of venues to perform at either. but I do.” constructs his beats and samples. There are a few venues, and if they allow you to do As a result, you can hear the humananything there, especially hip-hop, they charge you ity and organic elements that can be an arm and a leg.” difficult to hear in standard electronic Mizelle is undeniably a product of his surroundings. He music production. Hearing and witnessing is able to turn what many believe to be a suburban prison into him construct melodies, lines and loops rather than simply cutting and pasting samples in Garageband or Logic makes an opportunity to focus on developing and growing as an artist. He breaks through the barriers that come with the hip hop scene and it clear that Mizelle takes innovative musicianship very seriously. proves that certain types of music and art do not have to be relegatThe most refreshing aspect of his work is he is able to successfully com- ed to certain environments. Mizelle has the potential to inspire othbine conventional and popular hip hop beat construction techniques ers to create what they want regardless of culture, environment and with traditional composition. Mizelle is part of an emerging movement stereotype. But in the end, he is just a guy that cares greatly enough of artists in the hip hop and electronic scenes, and is successfully evolv- about his music to really care about anything else; and that is an art ing the art form into something that can be appreciated by a wider form in itself. audience.
For more Reece Mizelle: ReeceMizelle.Bandcamp.com
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FEATURES
MANHOOD by alex caesar + benjamin h unter
THE SUBURBS: A place where people go to star t ane w. People star t families and buy recently-developed homes. Children grow older as parents lose their individuality. Ever ything appears so ne w that you’d assume there are no stories to be told; ever yone seems to fit the archetype. The problem with suburbia is not the lack of stories or the conformity, but the fact that the stories remain untold; they are hidden. You often have to uncover these stories yourself. It is natural to fall into gender norms when living in a suburb. Surprisingly, males are far more present than women in the community of Riverside, Calif. Alex Caesar and Benjamin Hunter have documented this suburb in its organic state—foreclosures, masculinity, women hidden and all. Manhood can be defined through familial and fraternal relations in the suburbs; and Caesar and Hunter are telling the tale of what it means to be a suburban male through a photographic journey: “Suburban Manhood.”
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FEATURES
M a n ifest D est i ny
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FEATURES
S u b u r b a n M a n w i t h C hristmas Lig hts
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FEATURES
S u b u rb a n M a n w i t h Sub urb an Boy w ith Bas ketb all
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FEATURES
S u b u r b a n You t h WIth Fo o tb all
17 | Winter 2010
FEATURES
Ame r ic a n E xcep t i on a l is m
Th i s i s t h e f i r st s eries in a two - p art d o cumentation of
For more Alex Caesar:
For more Benjamin Hunter:
g en d er i n s u b u r bia. “S ub urb an Wo manho o d ” will be
AlexCaesarMedia.com
BCHPhoto.com
@AlexCaesar
@BenjaminHunter
availab le in January, 201 1 .
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BURL NORVILLE Wr i t t e n by GI A N N A H U G H E S Pho to g r a p h y by W Y LI E M A E R C K LE I N
FEATURES
FSO #1-3
I
t is easy to take for granted any habit or art form that one may be accustomed to. After a sudden turn of events, musician Burl Norville completely lost his hearing. He soon turned to painting as a creative outlet. He has since committed to the idea that an artist does not have the right to censor himself. Due to this, his pop-art provides commentary on the social norms of today.
Norville was raised in Deer Park, Texas—a suburb outside of Houston—but has been living in Austin for the past seven years. This city has provided a nurturing environment for Norville; it has been the catharsis he has needed for himself and for his art. What inspires or influences your art? The most powerful driving force behind creating my visual art is definitely frustration. I lost my hearing about eight years ago because of brain tumors. Music was my first choice
as a creative outlet, and was a past obsession. Since it is no longer an option, I am trying to adopt visual art as my method of venting creatively. It is a slow road, but I can see some progress being made within myself. I am very interested in the random chaos that is part of existence. I am also interested in the reality that we humans create for ourselves through popular culture. I am quite the goofball too, and think that humor is a very important tool when dealing with life. I think it is important to visit both ends of the spectrum. Explain your style of art. How do you create your art? I consider [my style of art to be] pop art because of the themes that I gravitate toward. I don’t like things too clean or polished; but [I like art that is] easily digested too. I try to strike a balance. A lot of the art I have done in the last few years has been based on my
fondness for the 50s advertisement art style— black and white art that is void of shading and too much detail, but is also realistic and not too cartoonish. This is partly because I have an affinity for what I deem late 50s and early 60s culture here in America to have been, and partly because it is easily drawn with a pen. As far as my current process, I usually find a photo I like online, then use Corel to change the image, or create a black and white image with no shading from the photo. Then, after doing a background usually on wood using acrylic, I will draw the image with a pen. I especially enjoy the drawing part of the process. However, I am not very patient; I like spontaneity and getting it knocked out as soon as I can. As I learn more about what I want to keep and what I feel works as far as my process goes, it gives me more options as to what I feel I can successfully execute subject-wise.
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Growing up in the suburbs made me feel smack-dab in the heart of the media-/advertisement-fed culture Americans know as everyday life.
How have the suburbs influenced you and your art? What do you like and dislike about them? Growing up in the suburbs made me feel smack-dab in the heart of the media-/advertisement-fed culture Americans know as everyday life. I think that is why I am so interested in the false reality we create for ourselves. It is amazing how collectively insane we are. The insanity becomes the norm, and if you stray from it or it stresses you out too much there is something wrong with you. So, go the doctor and get a prescription. It’s like being thrown into a pool and then being blamed for getting wet. I liked being a child in the suburbs. It was like growing up in a bubble. It made me feel safe. The world barely existed outside of my block. As I started school and ventured out, it was an exotic, and even dangerous place beyond the confines of my street’s row of houses. When we moved
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into our house, the subdivision was brand new. I remember we didn’t even have grass in the yard because it was so newly built. As a child, I liked that feeling the new houses had to offer. There were also a lot of kids on our street, so we had a lot of playmates. But as I got older things changed. It was weird to go over to my friend’s house on the street; their house was my house, except it had mirrored floor plans. It felt like a parallel universe or something to me. I don’t think that plays well on a kid’s psyche. I am happy with my suburban childhood though, because of how different things were back then. When I go back to visit now, it is a much different place; it’s very depressing. Conformity is literally the law of the land in suburbia, so there isn’t as much room to do your own thing there.
FEATURES
How do the suburbs compare to living in Austin? How does the city influence your work? Austin is more accepting of you no matter what you do and where you are in life. The city is really great about catering to people of different ability levels. The Texas School for the Deaf is here, as well as the Texas School for the Blind. People of the city are very accommodating to people dealing with disabilities. I couldn’t imagine Austin being much more deaf-friendly than it is. It has me spoiled really. I forget at times how good I have it, and am reminded when I am in another town in Texas and try to interact with people. Sometimes after I tell them I am deaf I get the same look I would get from them if I had told them I have learned, through a moderately complex
breathing technique, to harness the amount of energy required to successfully commit invisibility and duplicate myself. It is a look of pure bewilderment. It is a recipe for disaster if I am in the wrong environment. It is weird because if I wouldn’t have gone through the deafness, it is likely that I would have stayed in or around the suburbs of my home town to be close to family. I am indebted to my deafness for allowing me to experience a lot of new things in life. Austin isn’t geographically very far from Houston, so I haven’t literally gone very far, but culturally it is quite a different place.
SEE ALSO: All of Burl’s photos were shot by Wylie Maercklein - and they were fantastic. To see more of his work, check out his photo essay about Austin, Texas’ indie film scene on page 31.
For a behind-the-scenes look at Burl and Wylie’s shoot—and to see more photos— go to: Proxart.org/visual-art/Wylie-PM4
For more Burl Norville: AustinArtGarage.com/BNorville.html
Proxart.org/visual-art/Burl-PM4
Retro TV
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Kate Pugsley / / C hat s w i t h Be nj am i n Panam a
“KATE PUGSLEY grew up in Ohio and graduated from the Rhode Island School of Design with a BFA in illustration.” Other than the fact that she illustrates album art and merchandise for the Midwestern band Bears, this one sentence— taken from her website—was all I knew of Kate Pugsley. I was determined to find out more; so I tracked Kate down and asked if she’d be willing to chat online. She agreed, giving us a rare glimpse into her life as an artist and an introvert.
Phot o o f Ka te by C HA RLI E M C A RTH U R
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Ben Panama: Hey Kate Kate Pugsley: Hey! BP: Tell me a little bit about where you grew up; your website says Ohio. KP: I grew up in a small town called Chagrin Falls, which is outside of Cleveland. BP: Chagrin? Is it supposed to be ironic? KP: I don’t think so. I think it is Native American or something. It is about 4,000 people. BP: What first got you into art? Was it something you just always did, or did you eventually pick it up? KP: It was just something I always did; and it eventually turned into my life. BP: Do you have any siblings? KP: Yes, I have an older brother, a younger brother and a younger sister. We are really close. BP: Are any of them artists, or is it just you? KP: My sister writes and dabbles in painting, but I don’t really
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Tiny Village
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FEATURES Cold Shoulder Moutain Girl
I t h in k peo pl e do w a n t t o l ea rn more a bo u t t h e a rtist beh in d t h e a rt t h es e da ys . come from a creative family. I don’t have any relatives at all that are artists, which is strange to me. BP: Middle child syndrome, perhaps? KP: I have no idea where I came from. I am used to knowing other artists who come from artistic families, and my family just doesn’t think that way. Everyone’s upbringing is so different, and I do think that the way I was brought up led to my becoming an artist, even though the arts aren’t in my blood, so to speak. I had a lot of freedom as a child. I was able to make my own choices. I had a lot of alone time and time to explore, which can be important for your imagination. BP: You didn’t go exploring with your siblings? KP: No, I did, but our childhood was not overly structured. I didn’t have a lot of planned activities and was able to grow in the direction I chose. BP: Would you consider yourself an introvert? KP: Yes, I’ve tried to be less introverted at times, but by nature I am an introvert. BP: Has that helped with your art, or somehow hindered it? KP: It has helped my artwork; it only hinders my social life. BP: I first saw your work on the cover of a Bears EP. How did you get involved with the band? KP: My fiancée and his friend started Bears together a few years ago and asked me to make some artwork for them. I was in art school at the time. BP: Did he ask for anything specific for the band? Something that matched their sound? KP: For the first album they didn’t give me any direction for the cover art; I was free to create whatever I thought would
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work. As they have continued to play and write music they’ve given me more direction for the cover art. It has been really great; I think more bands should have artists make colorful and interesting art for their records. I think music fans enjoy it. BP: Have you considered doing art for other bands? KP: I’ve made the art for a couple of the members of Bears’ side projects. I’ve gotten e-mails from other bands, but it doesn’t work out usually because of money. I’d like to do more though; it is fun to consider what your art will look like for the whole album, rather than just one flat surface. BP: Your website has very little information about you. Why is that? Is that Midwest culture, your personality, or something else? KP: I am a little wary of sharing my life over the Internet, but I’m not so uncomfortable sharing my work. Sometimes I consider starting a blog, but something tells me not to. I think as long as I share my work over the Web that should be enough. I think people do want to learn more about the artist behind the art these days. What do you think? BP: Nowadays, living in an age of information, people want to know everything about everyone, good and bad. It’s not enough to make music, literature, paintings, or any sort of art. People seem to want to know more about the person behind the work. It helps them give deeper meaning to the art. I’m interviewing you, aren’t I? KP: Haha. I am always asking questions, not usually the one answering them! I definitely agree with you though. I just don’t feel ready to share as much personal information as other artists do, on my website or a blog, or other mediums. Maybe soon I
FEATURES Sisters
will. To be honest, I think it has a lot to do with my health. I have been ill for most of my adult life and I am recovering, but it has been odd and I don’t feel like the person I want to be. BP: Do you feel like you don’t have important things to say? KP: I feel like I have important things to say; I guess I just don’t feel like a whole person yet—as cheesy as that sounds. I also haven’t been able to produce nearly as much work as I’d like. It’s kind of difficult to articulate. If I were to talk about myself more or share about my personal life, I would have to share that I have been really sick, because it’s such a huge part of my life. But I don’t want to talk about being sick, and I am finally starting to get better. So I am hoping to open up a bit more when I am feeling healthier. BP: Do you think once you’re healthy, you’ll have a better perspective on things? So instead of saying “I’m sick and recovering,” you can say “I was sick.” KP: I don’t know if I will ever want to talk about being sick. But when I am not sick I could say “Hey, I took this picture today,” instead of “Hey, I felt like shit today,” and it would be a much more comfortable place for me. BP: That makes sense; you won’t have to talk about it because it’ll be a non-factor in your life. KP: Right, that’s what I mean. I hope so at least. BP: I know Bears are working on an album now. How’s the art coming along for it?
KP: Yes they are! I haven’t started the actual artwork yet; we are still planning. We have a few months before the album is supposed to come out. BP: Will you be doing any new art for merchandise as well? KP: Yeah, we usually incorporate the art into T-shirts, buttons and tote bags—fun things like that. BP: Sounds like you’ll have a pretty busy couple of months. Are you working on any other projects at the time? KP: Yes! I am working on a children’s book. My fiancée wrote the story and I am illustrating it; it is about a cat. BP: That seems appropriate. Your work tends to speak to the child in me. KP: Haha, thanks. I like that. BP: Do you think you intentionally do that, or it’s just what comes out? KP: It is just what comes out, but I don’t think I would change it. BP: “If it ain’t broke...” KP: Right, I hope not! BP: Kate, thank you for your time. Have a perfect day. KP: Thanks Ben, you too!
For more Kate Pugsley: KatePugsley.com
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Writte n by G I A N N A H U GH E S ı P h o t o g r a p h y by B E N J AM I N HU N T E R
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LISTENING TO REAL ESTATE ALMOST MAKES YOU MISS THE SUBURBS. Their 2009 self-titled album and their “Reality” EP convey exactly what it means to be from a suburb—the push and pull that we face every day. Jumping gates to get into pools never felt so nostalgic, and your childhood neighborhood never seemed so forlorn. Real Estate’s music is a mix of dreaming, wisdom, summer and apathy. Their albums capture the tone of what it means to be a suburban youth.
The suburbs are a place and an experience that many can relate to, something vocalist Martin Courtney realized while forming the band in 2008. After moving back home to Ridgewood, New Jersey, from college in Washington, Courtney immediately caught up with old friends. (continues...)
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“At first it was cool being able to be friends again and play music,” said Courtney. But then boredom set in. While attending school to become a realtor and playing music with friends for fun, Courtney wanted an outlet to convey how he was feeling at the time. Alongside bassist Alex Bleeker, guitarist Matt Mondanile, and drummer Etienne Duguay, Courtney formed Real Estate as he wrote songs about growing up in his hometown. “A lot of people can relate to it because they’ve had similar experiences,” Courtney explained. “It’s what we all know.” And that’s part of the magic of Real Estate. They are able to capture the essence of suburban existence. “The first record came from moving back to the suburbs after moving away for college. It felt the same as high school,” said Courtney. “The songs are a reflection of this.” While writing their first album, Courtney felt extremely conflicted. He had moved away from home, only to return several years later. Although this felt like a
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significant digression to him, Courtney was still drawn to and puzzled by the superficial beauty of suburbia. He simultaneously wanted to escape this, and also to understand it.
I t ’ s a bou t feel in g you w a n t t o g et o u t, bu t y o u s t il l l ike w h ere y o u g rew u p. “It’s about feeling you want to get out, but you still like where you grew up.” A lyric from “Suburban Dogs” says, “Suburban dogs are in love with their chains.” This lyric is especially poignant and haunting when related to Courtney’s—and countless others’—life. Being drawn back to one’s hometown for whatever reason is never an easy move. And no matter how far away we live from where we grew up, we can still be nostalgic for it. After being nameless for several months, Real Estate finally decided on their name while Courtney was in school to become a licensed realtor. His parent’s own a real estate agency, so it only seemed to be a
natural transition after graduating college. “[The name] seemed generic and it doesn’t make you think of music,” explained Courtney. “It fits the suburban scene of the band.” And this is definitely true. Not only does real estate relate to the housing market, but it relates to social migration and consumerism. These are problems we face every day in the suburbs. We are being sold a way of life. Despite everything, Courtney still stressed that the suburbs have a lot to offer if you can make the best of your situation. “In a way, a lot of kids that come out of the suburbs are born to be artists,” he said. “You’re lucky because your parents are able to provide a better home to grow up in, and you are free to make whatever art you want.” Financially, there are better opportunities to be taken advantage of. In “Basement,” Courtney sings, “The past is filled with episodes no one will televise.” This song is reminiscent of the clean façade of suburbia. It is important to hide all that could be labeled unappealing. Much is not talked about because it could take away
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from the sanitized city. Things are placed—quite literally—underground, or in a basement. The suburbs can be beautiful and boring. The uniformity of it all offers aesthetic beauty, while also hiding anything that is not deemed to be white, middle-class appropriate. This, in turn, provides for an upbringing sanitized of any diversity. “The boredom is what comes through in the songs,” described Courtney. “The use of repetition is almost hypnotic.” The lackadaisical sound of Real Estate’s songs comes from their experience in Ridgewood. Their psychedelic pop sound ebbs and flows as if you were at the shore with your friends listening to the sound of the waves. “[The suburbs] can be nice if you have good friends and can get into trouble,” said Courtney. “This can be a pro and a con [of living there].” However, the concealment of so much information and culture can be stifling. “If you grow up in the suburbs, you have to educate yourself,” said Courtney. You are left to fend for yourself since so much is kept hidden. For many, the solution involves moving to a major city. Courtney soon moved to Jersey City after returning to Ridgewood from college; Duguay currently lives in New York City.
The band wastes no time writing new music and touring. They were recently signed to Woodsist Records and toured the U.S. this fall in support of Deerhunter’s new album, “Halcyon Digest.” Aside from Real Estate—a Pitchfork favorite—the band members participate in other artistic endeavors. Bleeker heads Alex Bleeker and the Freaks, a band reminiscent of the 60s that somehow makes you feel infinite. Mondanile drums in the Freaks and is busy with Ducktails, a layered, guitar-filled, lo-fi psychedelic pop band. Courtney plays bass in Bleeker’s band and creates album covers and collages. Duguay sketches and runs a production management company, Vibes Management. He is also the artist in residence at The Market Hotel, a nonprofit organization that hosts indie bands and art in Brooklyn seven nights a week. Real Estate has performed at this venue. The fraternal support and collaboration is apparent in the band. Real Estate is a family. Despite moving on from the suburbs, they still have a bond that is strived for by many. Family is, perhaps, the primary quality associated with suburbia. Whether they know it or not, Real Estate is an organic documentation of the human condition within the suburbs.
For more Real Estate: MySpace.com/RealEstate
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THE AUSTIN FIL M S C E N E
A phot o es s ay by W YL I E M AE RCK L E I N
AUSTIN, TEXAS, IS KNOWN FOR ITS NO-BUDGET, INDEPENDENT FILMMAKING. This photo essay is a documentation of several films being made over the course of one month. Actors and cre wmembers are seen migrating from project to project and working without pay, without craft ser vices, and without permission.
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R U SH -H O UR t ra f f i c c reep s by the make- s hif t s et o f “Po li te Mechanics.” Wr iter/Dire c to r/a c tor F ra n k F r ye, acto rs Ind ig o Rael and Eliz abet h Flem ing, Cinem atogra p h e r Ken n et h D i n k in, and g rip Greg D iBlieux rehear se t he upcom ing scene a n d at tem p t to re- i m ag ine the lo c atio n as a milieu of science fict ion.
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A C T RE S S I N D I G O RA E L p rep ares fo r her ro le as “Aria” in t he shor t film “Polite M ec h a n i c s” w h i l e rus h- ho ur traf f ic caus es the over pass above her to clack a n d s c rea m . B eh ind her, c ast and c rew d is cuss t he upcom ing scene.
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5.
TEENAG E D I RE C T O R/ WRI T E R A S HLEY PO T T S b lo cks o ut a s cene fo r t he Lynchian shor t “The Luck of Ta ra h C a r t w r i g h t ” w i th ac to r D evin Bo nnee and P ro ducer/actor I ndigo R ael in Aust in’s ma in l i b ra r y b ra n c h .
7.
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6.
C O -DI RE C T O RS LUI S C A FFE S SE A ND CLIFF WILDM A N p rep are to s ho ot a segm ent wit h actor B en Wo l fe for t h e Web s eries “P ro jec t: Rant,” w hic h uses actor s to recreate invective - l a ced In ter n et rants verb atim. Their s ho o ting schedule will see a tot al of fo u r ep i sod es sh ot b efo re the d ay’s end .
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8.
C O-D IR EC T O R/ P RO D UC E R C LI FF WILDM A N FEEDS HIS DA UGHT ER, DA HLIA , d ur ing a break in film ing on t he set of “Subtopia.”
For more Wylie Maercklein: Maercklein.com @WylieM
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Writt e n by B A I LE Y M O B LE Y Pho t o g r a p h y by K Y LE O N G
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Kelli Mur r a y c a n n o t st o p sm i li n g as sh e o pen s up a b o u t h e r li fe a s a n ar t ist . A s I s it a c ro s s fro m h e r i n t h e Jed id ia h w a reho us e on a Fr i d a y a ft ernoo n , her en thus i a sm r a d i a t e s a s sh e sh a res w ha t in s p i re s h e r a r t w o rk and styl e. As the hea d des ig n er fo r Je d i d i a h , a San Dieg o - b a s ed c lo t h i n g c o m pany, Mur r a y hel ps r a i se a w a re n e ss for h um a n ita r ia n o r g a n i z a t i o n s su ch a s In vis ib l e C h i ld re n , Ha i t i Ear thq ua k e Rel ief a n d Co m p a ssi o n Interna tio n a l . Sa l es fro m t h e Ho p e Colle c tio n a l l ow the m t o su p p o r t su ch c a us es . Mu rray’s des ig n s ha ve h e lp e d la n d Jed id ia h o n the f a s h i o n m a p a s sh e h eads their g r a phic d e si gn t e a m . Her crea tivity ha s b e e n i n c lu d e d in a m ul titude o f f a sh i o n b lo gs and web s ites , a s wel l a s fe a t u re d in mul ti- c ity f a s hio n t r a d e sh ow s su ch a s T HR E A D . He r b lo g i n flu ences f a s hio n l over s a n d a r t i st s alike, m a k in g Mur r ay so m e o n e w h o is ch a l l en g in g w ha t i t m e a n s t o b e a femal e a r tis t. Mu rray g re w up in El Ca j o n , a we llknow n s ub ur b ea s t of t h e c i t y. At age 12 Mur r a y f o un d h e r c re a t i ve niche w hen s he dec i d e d sh e w a n t e d a career in f a s hio n a ft e r re c e i v i n g a se wing m a c hin e. She b e ga n t o p u r su e fa s hio n des ig n in h i gh sc h o o l, creat in g a c o l l ec tio n o f h a n d - m a d e skir t s f o r her f r ien d s. He r fa t h e r ran and o per a ted a s i lk - sc re e n i n g bu sin es s w hil e s he wa s grow i n g u p, exposin g Mur r a y to m a n y k e y c lo t h ing pro duc tio n a n d m e rc h a n d i si n g fu ndam en ta l s . She gr a dua ted f ro m t h e Fa sh i o n In st it u t e o f Des ig n a n d Me rc h a n d i si n g w it h a deg ree in prod u c t d e ve lo p ment. Mur r a y in s is ts t h a t a lt h o u gh sch oo l w a s a n im po r t a n t p a r t o f h e r grow th a s a n a r tis t, i n t e r n i n g w a s w here s he l ea r n ed th e m o st . W h i le
a st u d e n t at F I D M, Murray’s fat h er p a r t n e re d h i s s i lk-s creeni ng bus i n e ss w i t h Jedi di ah’s ori gi nal grap h i c a r t i st . De sp i t e t h e di s t ance bet ween Je d i d i a h i n San Di ego and F I D M i n L o s A n ge les , Murray was s t i ll able t o w o rk h er way up as an i nt ern.
an adult h as i nfluenced t h e matu ri t y of h er ar t , des i gn and t as te in fas h i on.
“Ever y year my s t yle morp h s a l ittl e . I h ave always li ked s t reet -s t yle — edgy and eclect i c—but my look has got t en a li t t le s oft er now t h at I’ve “ W h e n I fi rs t s t ar t ed [wi t h Jedi di ah ], grown up.” A s a lover of ori gi nal ity and creat i v i t y, and a fan of mixing I w a s st i ll i n s ch ool and dri v i ng t h ri ft s t ore t reas ures wi t h des igne r b a c k a n d f or t h from L .A . I was brands , Murray oft en blogs abou t b a si c a lly l i v i ng i n my car wh i le I h er favori t e p i eces and i nclud e s w a s d e si gni ng and creat i ng. It was s ket ch es of h er out fi t s . a n a b so lu t ely i ns ane year of my li fe, b u t I go t t h rough i t .” “I feel li ke my demograp h i c i s p eop le li ke me, i ns p i red by ar t and Fo r a d v i c e t o up comi ng ar t i s t s and fas h i on ali ke.” Her ar t work i s de e pl y d e si gn e r s Murray s ai d, “Jus t keep i nfluenced by h er femi ni ni t y. c re a t i n g; somet i mes i t’s eas y t o get sh o t d ow n by p eop le. One t h i ng From s i lk-s creened t ees t o designw i ll le a d to anot h er; j us t don’t gi ve i ng weddi ng i nv i t at i ons , Murray’s u p r i gh t a way.” creat i v i t y i s des i red by lovers of ar t and fas h i on of all ages . W h i le he r Si n c e w o rki ng wi t h Jedi di ah , Murs t yle i s uni que, s h e h as recentl y be r a y a d m i t s t h at r unni ng a s mall come i ns p i red t h rough bloggi ng and b u si n e ss i s ch allengi ng and t h ere connect i ng wi t h ar t i s t s onli ne. we re t i m e s wh en s ucces s and longev i t y we re i n ques t i on. W h i le not ev “I t h i nk we can all learn from e ach e r yo n e c a n get a p aych eck for t h ei r ot h er and be i ns p i red by each othe r.” p a ssi o n , i t i s obv i ous bei ng i nvolved w i t h Je d i di ah i s s omet h i ng s h e loves . Th i s i s s omet h i ng I can abs olu te l y agree wi t h . “ It’s ve r y fu lfi lli ng t o work and als o h a ve d re a ms of maki ng a di fference i n t h e li ve s of ot h er p eop le around yo u . Yo u can work unt i l mi dni gh t a n d n o t fe el bad about i t .” Je d i d i a h’s p ar t ners h i p wi t h Inv i s i ble Ch i ld re n was formed due t o a clos e re la t i o n sh i p wi t h founders Jas on Ru sse ll, L auren Poole and B obby Ba i le y ; Mu rray h as known t h e t h ree o f t h e m si nce h i gh s ch ool.
For more Kelli Murray: KelliMurray.com JedidiahUSA.com @KelliCreates
“ I h a ve a c t ually known [Rus s ell, Po o le a n d Bai ley] s i nce before Inv i s i b le Ch i ld ren even s t ar t ed; and [ Jed i d i a h h a s ] been s up p or t i ve of t h em si n c e t h e i r begi nni ng.” In d e sc r i b ing h er own p ers onal s t yle, Mu r r a y re veals t h at s h e i s always i n t r a n si t i o n and ex p lai ns h ow bei ng
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Your website before Gallerytopia.
39 | Winter 2010
Your website after Gallerytopia.
TM
iPhone websites for photographers starting at $3. For details visit gallerytopia.com
*Activation and hosting fees vary per package. GallerytopiaTM, LLC is in no way affiliated with Apple, Inc. All rights are reserved.
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LITERATURE
Tim Jarvis | Asthenia Of Heart And in Mortal Death throes we cry Barren Wombs, and empty hearts We lie
thick and strong of my own desire cast down myself into the fire
To find inner peace we drink By God’s own glory and pain We think
for never understanding what I do a crime of treason punishment due
Give to me a life of Fear So that one day these torments will end We tear
and God sits and laughs at mere mortal man who tries and tries and tries again
Like water and rain rushing down from me In simple thought and writhe We be I will know the secrets of mine own A mind and soul to keep We drown In thought, in endless sleepless night We sit and ponder and write We fight
to reason with mirror, reflection and self why when looking glass turned around we won’t understand our heartbeat’s own sound and load a gun, with five shots to twist and I turn to know my own thoughts An ocean below a rocky ridge To cross the waters of myself Ill risk
Fight the very walls of self ’s heart To one day decipher our soul We depart
Keep me safe, oh laughing Lord That I one day will see thy horde Of all my hopes, and dreams, and lies And one day fall on golden skies
Depart to where? We ask the self I do not know, do you? We delve
Where I may ask you there one day Where the patchwork of my mind Does lay
Delve into knowing my thought To one day understand the pain We bought
In drunken sleep and high awake I bet my soul on this gun’s stake
Bought at all, for a cheap thrill Down with drink and down with pill May one day the liar’s crown Be pulled from my head And cast down For to the audience of one he spun Lies to myself Bravo, you won! Flesh is Flesh Soul is Soul Heart is Heart Mind is Mind
The chamber will click empty here And thou whilst torment me, fear Fear that I will see The being that does lie in me And forgive me all for what I’ve done May far worse performed On myself come Yet self be not what worries me But hearts and souls of all you be Be inside, ‘tis all I know To care to reap To care to sow
And if it all does come to end By my own hand, foe, or friend I pray that thou whilst know my thoughts All my reasonings, plans and plots So that you will say, “He wanted best For us before he rest Did not care to find himself Tucked-away upon top shelf In attic of fool’s home And cries a fool’s moan that one day he will know himself and love like he love the wealth of our own knowledge, now and then that he loved us, in amends” But I do pray my precious Lord That one day thou whilst open doors Of mine own heart Invite me in For outside looking Is quite dim That I may read these thoughts of mine However crooked and serpentine Please my Lord, bless me so And forever into darkness I will go One day I may see the shines Of light coming From mine own eyes And I will understand my thoughts Dreams, peril and weep That full-hearted in eternity May I sleep
Tim Jarvis attended UC Davis and now writes poetry, short stories, and is working on a novel. He is inspired by human interaction within society, music that conveys emotion without the use of words, and Tom Waits. To Jarvis, everything tells a story, you just have to listen.
Yet to know self motives of mankind is the greatest riddle of them all to hope one day the walls will fall
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LITERATURE
Erin Loughlin (Non) American Spirits
Lying to Myself
I met a man who claimed that smoking cigarettes was a form of prayer. Said he wasn’t addicted to the nicotine, but wanted to pay 25 cents for one of mine. He asked permission to decapitate my little filtered friend as he reached across the table for my lighter. He has this theory that the filter on a cigarette allows clean air into the lungs and the tar and poison catch a ride on these tiny molecules filling up each lung entirely in one second. Lungs know better if it’s just straight cancer smoke. He left his daughter inside Starbucks with a coloring book and crayons while he prayed with me telling me stories of the Native American on my cigarette pack, how it’s offensive for me to smoke them as a non-indian. He also told me to never believe what people say because the mind can only hold in so many ideologies when the lungs are full of smoke.
I was at work today thinking about the girl who used to work here too, who is now living on some guy’s couch and losing weight just as fast as veins in her arm to stick a needle into. I know that this is true, but sometimes it’s easier to believe in a lie like when I was 8 and I saw a comedy sketch on TV where a large man wearing an aluminum foil suit walked through a room after an earthquake and broke the windows and the picture frames and uprooted the toilet from the tiles. So after my first real experience with a 6.7 earthquake, laying between mom and dad in their California king size bed, I held my pee in and let it cramp, refusing to look anywhere but the ceiling. I hope that man who makes earthquakes isn’t walking past her right now, throwing the coffee table across the room, smashing the thought in her head: maybe this isn’t a good idea. Sometimes, I think about all the public places that have seen me cry, red faced and swollen lids, face-soaked crying. Maybe I’m too emotional. The boxes in the bathroom at work with paper towels and toilet seat covers and probably think so. Today it was because I’m afraid that girl is going to die. I figured out a way to make the aluminum foil man into a lie, because I outgrew him. The logic is, when I’m old enough to walk into the kitchen wearing another man’s shirt who is still in the bedroom waiting for me, I’m too old to crawl back into my parents bed after a bad dream.
Erin Loughlin lives in Santa Clarita, CA. She graduated from Cal State University, Northridge, with a degree in creative writing. Although she has grown up in the suburbs, she does not consider it to be a negative experience. She says, “Any place is going to be what you make of it. As long as I can continue to be inspired and put my ideas into words on paper, it doesn’t matter to me where that inspiration is coming from.”
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LITERATURE
Alexa Mangrum This side of paradise; it’s 4am briefly wonder if God wears a watch. forming puppets with shirtsleeves to keep grounded or maybe just entertained regressing utopian quiet like a blanket awaiting the marathon of the morning. Jack sits restless against the four-legged animal with bones of metal cheap cushion for back fusion of function and form homely, humbly lined row by row I wait. Here; in the perpetual waiting room where jellyfish brain cells snack on the unknown rationalized reality holding play as knife and fork a quarter past-five a second past Hades Emergency room; new year’s day.
Alexa Mangrum is a freelance contributor currently based out of London. Mangrum has traversed the U.S. born in Orange, California, a suburb of Los Angeles, and spent time in northern California, New Jersey, Kentucky, Colorado, and more recently San Diego. Currently, a full-time student, Mangrum also contributes to several publications both online and off. When asked why on earth she enjoys playing word games so much, simply she states, “I write because I cannot not write. I write to find out what I think. Writing translates the world around me into something surreal.”
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TRUE ATHLETES AND PLAYERS BRANDING
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For membership please visit www.trueathletesandplayers.com
47 | Winter 2010
GALLERY
John Loughlin
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GALLERY
Ricardo Contreras-Gonzales Flickr.com/photos/le-capitaine
49 | Winter 2010
GALLERY
Simone Shin SimoneShin.com
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Mike Salcido MikeSalcido.com
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GALLERY
Half of Alice in Abstractland, acrylic on canvas
Crosstalk
Tessa Huls TessaHulls.com
Wanderlust
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TWITTER ILLUSTRATION
TESSA HULLS ILLUSTRATES: @PostSecret: “How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb?” “It’s a really obscure number, you probably haven’t heard of it.”
C a l c ul at e d, M e d i o c r e , P r e d i c ta b l e U to pia .
by Nathan Ryan
55 | Winter 2010
OPINION
There’s still something missing from calculated “perfection,” and we actually like it when things are a little bit messed up. When I wrote this, I was sitting at a coffee shop in Ocean Grove, New Jersey. There was a man next to me trying to explain the concept of a cell phone to an older gentleman. He was explaining things like, “How to make a phone call,” “How to add a number into your phone,” and “Yes, the phone still works when you’re riding the bus.” The town was founded in 1869 by Methodist clergymen who decided that after trekking their families down here for summer “camp meetings” (basically, a summer-long family church camp¹) every year, they might as well colonize the place. So they built a church, and then they built their housing around it: community. It makes sense to me that technology isn’t widely accepted or understood here. Anyway, what has struck me most about the East Coast is the apparent lore around every corner. Nothing comes without a story. The house my wife and I stayed in is more than 100 years old; it creaks, it rattles, not all the doors fit in their frames, and there are floorboards that move under your feet while you walk. I’m not the only person to have slept in the room I slept in; and, though I didn’t end up seeing any, that place was bound to have a few ghosts. In Philadelphia, I stood where our forefathers signed the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution and the Bill of Rights. I walked by graves with names of Revolutionary War soldiers, pastors and statesmen; and I walked the same halls that Ben Franklin did. The houses nearby had “Built in 1779” inscribed on them, and other historical information.
History happened right where I was standing, and it was both weighty and intoxicating. Then it hit me. I figured it out: My problem with the ’burbs is that there is no history on our sidewalks. Nothing truly culturally significant has ever happened in our malls. As far as “history” is concerned, our roots aren’t (generally) much deeper than the fact that some dude in an office somewhere “masterplanned” the community. That’s why—where I live, in Santa Clarita— we travel to Los Angeles. Because, though its roots don’t go all the way back to the 1700s, history happened there. There are things you’re able have an opinion about. There are buildings you’re excited to stand in and streets you’re excited to drive by. There’s something local to be knowledgeable about, and there’s reason to talk to other people about things that matter. In newly-developed suburbs, however, there’s very little to grab onto historically. The sidewalks are polished and indifferent. We’re used to things that have been synthesized. They know the clothing stores we like, so they put them in the malls. They know the food we like, so they put those restaurants on predictable corners. They know we want good education, so they slap “distinguished” on schools as quickly as they can. They know we want safety and privacy, so the housing is spaced out, giving us the option to never meet our neighbors (if we so choose); and every house looks the same so we all feel equal. This is calculated, mediocre, predictable utopia.
But the problem isn’t that “it is what it is.” In fact, I’m fairly certain that we can work with what it is. The problem is that instead of creating our natural suburban cultures from scratch, we’ve resorted to synthesizing the “best of ” city culture nearby and filtering it to fit our perceived needs. And we’re coming to find that we can’t perceive our needs too well. We still leave. We still check out, or disengage. There’s still something missing from calculated “perfection,” and we actually like it when things are a little bit messed up. That said, what bothered me more than anything while being on the East Coast was that I kept comparing things I saw to Disneyland, or to something I’ve seen on TV. That bothers me because I’ve not experienced what I experienced in Philadelphia, but I feel like I have. Since that’s the case, I had to constantly reassure myself that the ground I was walking on wasn’t a copy of an original. That the building I stood in was actually built in the 1700s, and that Main Street in Ocean Grove isn’t a copy of Main Street, Disneyland. This is the real deal. But, having grown up in and around so much “fake,” I’ve found myself filtering what’s real through what I’ve experienced. Unfortunately, a lot of what I’ve experienced isn’t real. And, even more unfortunate, I think people tend to think that since the “fake” exists, there’s no reason to be real. So they flee the ’burbs for the city when, in reality, the suburbs are the blank slate most artists are looking for. It’s a real, tangible opportunity to create something out of nothing. Personally, I think we should take that opportunity. But that’s just me, right? —————— ¹ I like to imagine these camp meetings as a 19th century, religious version of “Jersey Shore” that takes place in tents.
Nathan Ryan NthnRyn.com @NthnRyn
THOUGHTS? PROXART.ORG/CULTURE/NATE-PM4
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OPINION
Suburban Diversity: An Environment’s Dictation on Personal Creativity by ZACHARY HILL People inside and outside the art world aren’t trying very hard to find a new uniform standard of what is good art and what is not. We pretend that we prefer the ordinary, mundane and routine when we secretly (or not so secretly) crave and need diversity, randomness and disorder. Even when not analyzing art, we can see how levels of predictability—or lack thereof—affect everything about who we are. Surprises and random dates tend to be more romantic than when things are planned. We love giving gifts for birthdays and holidays because of the surprise. And even during sudden disasters and tragedies we become more connected to our humanity because of how we feel when changes are thrown into our lives without warning.
Zachary Hill ZRHill.Tumblr.com @ZRHill
We are attracted to shock art or other uncommon styles because we like to be surprised; we like things that are different. Even though we as a species fear the unknown, we also are drawn to it.
THOUGHTS? PROXART.ORG/CULTURE/ZACH-PM4
Perhaps the main reason why the suburbs and art seem to clash the way they do is the fight between diversity and uniformity. On the surface, a uniform suburban society cannot provide a healthy environment for artists and creative minds. But in reality, suburbia is no different than any other cultural environment in the sense that it can only limit our desire for diversity and creativity if we let it. Environments should not dictate our standards and commitments to our own level of individual diversity. Don’t be afraid to be original; don’t be afraid to create in an original way. Diversity is vital to art and society. We must embrace the people who are willing to be themselves and are unafraid of being a little different from time to time. Diversity is never something that happens by chance. It not only must be created, it must be recognized and celebrated when it becomes present.
Bailey Mobley “Kelli Murray” - pg. 37 BaileyMobley.blogspot.com @BaileyMobley Lila Burns “Save The Suburbs” - pg. 6 LilaBurns.com
Alex Caesar “Suburban Manhood” - pg. 13 AlexCaesarMedia.com @AlexCaesar Bijan Berahimi “True Athletes & Players” - pg. 45 BijanBerahimi.com @BijanBerahimi Masato Nakada “True Athletes & Players” - pg. 45 mstnkd.com
DONORS OF $50 O R MOR E:
Wylie Maerklein Photos for Burl Norville - pg. 19 “The Austin Film Scene” - pg. 31 Maercklein.com @WylieM
CONTRIBU TORS:
A S PECIAL THA NKS TO P M4’S
Liz Worth “The Urbanity of Suburbia” - pg. 7 LizWorth.com @LizWorthXO
Antonio Diaz Artifice*Studios ArtificeStudios.com @ArtificeStudios @The_Antonio Jeremy Mitchell Gallerytopia Gallerytopia.com JeremyMitchell.com @Gallerytopia @JeremyMitchell
Bill & Melissa Yergensen Rock Candy Music & More RockCandyMusicAndMore.com @RockCandyMusic
One last thing... If there's anything in this issue that encourages you, pisses you off, or just flat out sucks, we'd love to hear about it. Please e-mail us: magazine@proxart.org. It could be featured in our next issue! Cheers, Proxart
57 | Winter 2010
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Thank you so much for reading. Until next time: www.proxart.org • @proxart • facebook.com/proxart
Prepared by MagCloud for favian romo. Get more at proxart.magcloud.com.